Goodbye Dee,

Say Hello to Gloria for Me

Today, I received an e-mail from Phyllis Frye bearing some sad news. Dee McKellar had died this past weekend. I readily admit that I didnít know Dee that well; hardly at all. But we did share some time together and a sisterly hug or two. The story bears repeating (if only to ease my soul.)

Some of you know, that a year ago March we lost someone dear to us. Gloria Fredericks died in March 1996. She was, in effect, the leader of the RCGA at the time. She did everything she could to ensure that the group was a success and made a difference in peopleís lives in and around Omaha. She even stretched herself, financially, emotionally and physically and risked a lot when she attended the "Second" TG Lobbying Days in Washington in October 1995. That is where, I suspect, she met Dee McKellar for the first time. At that event she met Phyllis Frye and over time had convinced Phyllis to come to Omaha to "fire up" some of our people to get more politically active. The plans were made to have Phyllis and Dee come to Omaha and speak to the RCGA at a special event in April 1996. Phyllis had arranged to fly into Omaha with Dee and to meet Gloria and drive together to Minneapolis to attend the í96 IFGE convention. The last RCGA newsletter that Gloria published began with the headline, "March To Be One Of The Best Months Ever!!!" Sadly, she never lived to see her prophecy come true.

After Gloria died, I volunteered to pick Phyllis and Dee up at the airport and drive them to Minneapolis and attend the convention with them. During that drive Phyllis, Dee and I got to know a bit about each other. Granted, it is hard to get many words in with Phyllis in the car, but when Phyllis started to read a novel to relax, Dee and I did get a chance to talk some. We attended the convention and returned to Omaha where Phyllis and Dee did their presentation to the RCGA. The next day Doris and I picked them up at their hotel and took them around downtown Omaha a bit and then to the airport for their flight home. I didnít know that would be my last chance to hug or talk to Dee. Because of Gloriaís death I had a chance to meet and get to know a bit of Deeís life and struggles. It is sad that I didnít follow up and keep in touch with this very sweet, kind and giving person. I shall regret this as much as I do not getting closer to Gloria.

After I received Phyllissí e-mail today I simply turned the computer off and took our dog, Starbuck, out for an afternoon play in the backyard. As I sat in the lawn chair ruminating about lost friends and opportunities, a butterfly flitted through my line of site and landed herself on a branch. Since Gloria died, whenever I see a butterfly I think of her. My eyes started to tear up as I thought about these two people I had known and will never see again. Just then another butterfly fly into my view and the both of them flew off into the distance. Maybe Gloria and Dee will finally get to spend some time together like they were supposed to last April.

Rest in peace, Gloria Fredericks and Dee McKellar, I am better for having to known you.

During the next day, many of her friends gathered along with Dee's daughter and planned for the activist's remembrance. The service will be an open casket, gravesite service on Saturday, September 13th, at 11AM, at the Woodlawn Cemetery, I-10 West, exit at Antoine. Everyone that knew and loved Dee (or David, as she was known in the NASA area prior to 1991) is invited. The Q-Patrol will serve as honor guard and all transgendered activists are encouraged to wear whatever activist t-shirt they may possess to the service. Anyone wishing to visit with Dee prior to Saturday may do so at the funeral home chapel: Cremational Service International, 5601 Arlington, Houston (near Tidwell and I-45 North) 713-692-5555 on Thursday and Friday from 10AM to 9PM.

Dee McKellar was a national leader in the transgender community. In 1991, she was one of the founding committee members for what has become the International Conference on Transgender Law and Employment Policy (ICTLEP) now in its seventh year. She served as a Director and as its Secretary for several years. With Dee's assistance and push, ICTLEP has been in the foreground of transgender re-intergration within the lesbian/gay/bisexual community. Dee assisted in organizating, and attended, both the 2nd National Transgender Event in Washington DC in October 1995 and the 3rd National Transgender Event in Washington DC in February 1997. She spoke to countless people needing help who called, wrote or e-mailed the ICTLEP office.

While serving as a Director of the National Lesbian and Gay Law Association, Dee served on the NLGLA committee responsible for the unanimous NLGLA Board vote in August 1997 that brought bisexuals and transgenders fully within the bylaws of that organization. Dee also served as a Director of Gender PAC for a short time assisting with organizational and bylaw procedures.

At the state level, Dee was one of four who planned, and one of twelve who participated in the transgender protest of the 1995 Lesbian Gay Rights Lobby's March on Austin in the spring of 1995 in Austin. This LGRL event was to call attention of Legislators to violence and hate crimes against against gays and lesbians. The transgenders who were with Dee resented being purposefully left out of the LGRL push. As a result of the protest, most of the LGRL marchers were persuaded that the TG protest was right and proper and that TG issues of violence and hate crimes were the same issues as the gay and lesbian folks. Also, in that same legislative session, Dee assisted in the planning, and attended the hearings for transgender legislation dealing with document changes.

On the local level, Dee hosted two Transgender Employment Day events. She was a Director of Spectrum, a member of Q-Patrol, a member of Lesbians in Business (LiB), a volunteeer with both the Houston READ Commission and Annise Parker's Campaign for City Council, co-moderator of the local Helping CrossDressers Anonymous (HCDA) chapter, and an instructor on transgender issues for classes of the Houston Police Academy. Dee is know to many others in Houston. She worked for the League of Women Voters several years ago and was a beloved member of the Houston Writers League.

Previously known as David McKellar, she attended Massachusetts Institute of Technology and completed three years of engineering studies. She worked for Boeing in Seattle and later for contractors in the NASA - Clear Lake City area in computer flight simulation design for many of the early astronauts. She had a priviate pilots license and loved the skys. She was also an avid photographer. So when you look up at the clouds, smile in case she is about to snap the shutter.

Dee is survived by her proud and loving daughter, her mother and two brothers, and a very large community of friends. Anyone wishing to send cards may do so. Send a seperate card to daughter (Deborah Donaldson) and to mother (Elizabeth McKellar) in card of me at 5707 Firenza, Houston 77035 and I will forward.

For more information, call Phyllis Frye at 713-723-8368.

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