By Angela Gardner

Look! It's a bird, it's a plane! No, it's The Diva! Able to leap tall clearance counters in a single bound. She boldly goes where no tran has gone before... hold it a minute, I think I've mixed up my television shows. Now let's just settle down girls. Well class, how is everyone? I have had yet another hectic time since last I wrote, and when I last wrote I told you about the modeling shoot I did with Miss Minerva from the Big Apple. Well, being close to my deadline (as I often am) I didn't have time to get the name of the restaurant where Minerva slings hash. Oh, come on, it's not that kind of a place. It's real upscale and all. As Monty Python would say, "they got real cuisine and cookin' and such." For those who emailed with a need to know, it's called Stingy Lulu's and you can find it, and Miss Minerva, at St. Marks (8th Street) and Avenue A in Manhattan. If you see Minerva, which you may not since she informed me that she's taking a road trip this month, say hello.

Oh, the time we spent on the phone was full of the juiciest dish. But, we can't go into that here. This is a G rated website. It's time to move on to the public dish...

Too Kathleen Turner?

Could famous FI Charles Pierce really be mad at columnist Liz Smith? Heaven knows sweeties, but... it seems that in a recent column Liz commented that Kathleen Turner was a great Tallulah Bankhead (a famous star well know to ladies of a certain age). Charles, who has retired now and hung up his heels (come back Charles, don't let the glamma die!) picked up the phone and called Ms. Smith. His comments? I reproduce them for you here: "Liz! You told me once that I was Tallulah! And the odd thing is, when I was doing my act, I used to pat my hair and say (as Tallulah), 'Is this too Kathleen Turner?' I was way ahead of her time!''

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Pierce briefly at a New York bistro called Oh Johnny's (sadly now it's gone) and we exchanged a few pleasantries. He's a sweet guy... and several great broads. Let's hope retirement weighs too heavily and he decides to cinch up the old corset at least one more time.

Speaking of Female Impersonators

It's amazing what you can find on the Net. (Well, there's this column of course, and that is pretty amazing.) One night while cruising the cybersurf I found a page put up by a talent agency for female impersonators. They're looking for talent. I tell ya, I'd be the first to sign up but I don't have an act. Well, not a stage act. I'm more of a guerrilla street theater kind of gal. You'd be amazed how much attention you can attract lip synching to Madonna songs on a street corner at rush hour.

I'm just kidding. I'm too lazy to do all the rehearsal it takes to do great lip synch. But, if you've got what it takes (big hair, a lot of makeup, some foam boobs and a lot of moxie) you should get in touch with the folks at Hello Gorgeous Entertainment. They're an entertainment agency representing professional female impersonators with one or more solid celebrity impersonations. That's what leaves me out. I don't even vaguely resemble most of the celebs I can think of. Well, with long black hair I might be able to pull off a Cher but I have a real problem getting my mouth to do that kind of sneer thing she does. (Particularly when she talks to Sonny.)

So, if you have the characters and the tenacity to fight your way to the top in show biz remember the Diva who gave you your start. Send my manager's cut in small unmarked bills care of TGF. Hello Gorgeous is particularly interested in Liza Minelli, Tina Turner, Dolly Parton, Madonna, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey Gloria Estefan, RuPaul, (wait... if you are a guy who impersonates a man who dresses up as a woman... are you really a female impersonator?) Whitney Houston, Rosie O'Donnell, Selena, Judy Garland, Carol Channing, Julie Andrews, and Marilyn. Hey, now that I'm a blonde (I know my picture in this column is still dark haired, but there's only so much time in the day, girls) maybe I can do Marilyn. Nah. If you want to sign up contact Patrick Ross or David Jarner at: Hello Gorgeous Entertainment, P.O. Drawer 1506, Los Lunas, NM (Ya know, New Mexico is a hot bed of drag. There's an annual drag show there in a little town called Madrid.) 87031, You can call them at 505-269-7948.

Moving On To...

Race car drivers!? That's right kittens. The good old boys at NASCAR are a little vaklempt, as Linda Richman would say. It seems that one of their drivers has deserted the manly, tobacco chewin' and cussin' world of the male NASCAR driver to become a woman. I do hope she's given up chewing and cussing. It's so unladylike. Her name is Terri O'Connell and around five years ago she used to be J.T. Hayes, a top money earning driver. It's really a shame that she wasn't a drag racer, but I guess that would have been too perfect.

Ms. O'Connell lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, where she has done some modeling, and started a graphic-design business. Most of her clients don't know that she used to drive race cars, or was a man at one time. I guess after the publicity push she has started they'll soon find out. Why the push? Terri's written a book, of course. It's an autobiography called Pink, Blue & Checkered. She hasn't found a publisher yet (somebody call JoAnn Roberts) but she's working on the publicity. She has challenged Howard Stern to a race. Hey! This could be another chance for Howard to dress up.

Another reason she has decided to come out is that word leaked in the Charlotte area and she felt that it was better to meet things head on rather than wait to react. In her own words, "It's a homophobic world, and this gets grouped into that. I've been threatened. People have tried to beat me up." I hope she's got a wrench left over from the old days that she can use for self defense.

Ms. O'Connell kept some ties to those old days. She was involved in doing graphic design for Charlotte-area racing teams. Once the good old boys heard about her gender change she found herself without those clients. Ain't it amazing how macho guys who will drive a car at 200 miles an hour can get scared as hell over one little woman who used to be a man? Don't worry boys, it's not catching.

Apparently NASCAR isn't too happy that O'Connell has decided to come out. The whole NASCAR thing is the province of one family: the France clan of Daytona Beach, Florida. They've dictated the rules--and the image--of the sport for 50 years and according to O'Connell they feel that a transsexual isn't good for the "family values" image of auto racing. I guess being a homophobic good old boy is?

It may just be paranoia on O'Connell's part, and of course NASCAR denies having anything against her, but... you never know. In any event she's looking for a publisher and, if she can find a sponsor (how about Cover Girl cosmetics? Maybe MAC?) she is set to return to the world of auto racing. Best of luck Terri.

The Playhouse is The Thing

Laurence Olivier as Katherina in Taming of the Shrew

American actor Sam Wanamaker had a dream. He wanted to rebuild the Globe Theater, the hangout of a cat named Shakespeare a few centuries ago. This proved not to be that easy a task and it took a darned long time and a lot more cash than the original. If you care about all the blood sweat and tears that went into the restoration you can read about it at the Globe Theater Webpage.

The thing of interest to us is the fact that in Shakespeare's day no women were allowed on stage. Which was probably a good idea since the theater in Will's day was not the polite, refined experience it is now. So, whether they were just trying to spare the ladies delicate sensibilities, or because the actors were all interested in dating boys, the ladies roles were played by boy actors. In fact it's claimed that the word "drag" originated in those halcyon days of yesteryear when the stage manager would write D.R.A.G, meaning Dressed As A Girl, next to the actor's name.

The recreated Globe is doing its best to adhere to the traditions of theater in Shakespeare's time so they are doing some productions with male actors in drag. One of the opening performances is Henry V. Director Richard Olivier (son of the Olivier) has staged the play in the fashion of Shakespeare's day, with lots of handsome Elizabethan costumes and female roles filled by men. Hand me my ruff, honey! That's my cue. Check the Globe site before the end of September cause they promise photos from the shows. I saw a shot of two of the "ladies" and they looked so good that at first I was completely taken in. Then I said, wait a minute... Shakespeare, male actresses. Lemme check that shot a little closer. The actors are not exactly boys, as in days of yor, but they are quite fetching. Check it out. As Shakespeare said, Yaz just might get sum cultcha.

A Bad Actor

Attempting to get culture, and cash, a certain little scam artist has been at it again. Marc Hendley was in the news a while back for posing as a female soap star and taking limo companies and hotels to the cleaners. He'd call up speaking in a male voice and inform them that Miss So & So was in town for a promotional tour and need a driver to pick her up in a white stretch limo. Since Marc has been working this scam in the great American Heartland they're just not as suspicious as, say, a New York limo service might be. They don't get a deposit and they pick up Miss So & So. The hotels are also an easy touch since Miss So& So tells them the airline lost the luggage and will be picking up the tab.

Marc is 27, five foot four and weighs 135. Well, 135 on a five foot four frame is a little hefty, but I hate him anyway for being 27and five foot four. He also has hazel eyes, long blonde hair and an expensive looking dress. His acting skills must be at least as good as a soap actresses' since he pulled this last year and has returned to what he does best. This time he did it in Minneapolis. TheMinneapolis Star-Tribune reported that he was arrested in coiffed hair, full makeup and a dress in his room at a suburban minneapolis hotel, and charged with theft by swindle. Claiming to be an actress from Days of Our Lives he "allegedly" (I always love that allegedly stuff. Do you see any other hazel eyed blonde guy in drag claiming to be a female soap star?) racked up a $916 twelve hour limo ride, got $500 in cash advances from the Airport Hilton and briefly signed autographs at Planet Hollywood in the Mall of America before being taken into custody.

Hendley is already on probation for his previous escapades so I think soon he'll be starring in Days of My Sentence. You'd think that the few hours of fun he gets out these little escapades wouldn't make up for the court appearances and hard time. Maybe he'll find a nice husband in prison and settle down. Oh, sure it's easy to joke, but hey... that's what I'm here for.

It would be lovely if Hendley got probation again and could learn to channel his acting skills into more approved lines. If he looks that much like the woman from the soap perhaps he could start a whole new drag performance genre--impersonating soap stars on stage. I'm sure Hello Gorgeous could find a spot for him in a Vegas revue. But I think this time it's off to the slammer. That might not be all bad,the prison food will probably help him lose those few extra pounds.Thanks to Georgia Hilbert for bringing Marc's latest performance to our attention.

Wrapping It Up With Pretty Pink Bows

That's almost it for this Diva, kids. My editor is chomping at the bit to edit and the emails from her are just smokin' out of my modem.Coming up next month, I will be taking in a screening of the soon to be released (in the U.S.) Different For Girls from First Look Pictures. This will entail me dressing up in a fab outfit and driving to New York (maybe I should tell them I'm a soap actress?) to view a screening. As soon as the screening is over I'll type up the review and send it to you. What's so special about this flick? Well, if you haven't heard, it's about a TS in England who runs into an old school chum. I can't say she's the first MtoF TS played by a straight male actor (i.e. Terrence Stamp inPriscilla) but she is more interested in blending into societyas a female than she is in lip synching to Abba in the Outback. The relationship that develops between the two lead characters should prove interesting. I'll have more after I see the film.

That said, it's time for me to heat up the email application and get this puppy in to TGF world headquarters. Have a wonderful rest ofthe Summer. Hasta la vista, muchachas!

Comments, criticisms, and gift certificates may be sent toThe Diva atanytime.