One can generally take for granted the cosmetics, the clothing, the hair/wig, and the general overall image. We are all good, some more so than others, at the superficial parts of our femininity. But all too often we fail in dealing with the subtleties of our much sought after female image. Subtleties that the public doesn't overlook. So, let's consider a few little things that will add to our femininity and reduce the masculinity that we are trying to conceal. Or, stated more positively, will improve our feminine image.
First, visualize a person, yourself if you want, dressed impeccably, quite chic and totally in style. You can be in a mall in jeans or classically dressed for an evening of dinner and a concert (classical not rock). It really doesn't matter as long as you feel comfortable with the person you see and are in tune with your surroundings.
Now for the acid tests. Yes, the plural with an s, because there are several, make that many ways that the details, or little things can betray us.
If you doubt the logic of that argument, then consider how often we notice something red among a mass of white or softer color. Any bright contrast will get our attention whereas a blend will go virtually unnoticed. Conclusion. Do your nails in moderation, short and neat, no bright polish and this little thing will become an asset. Your masculine hands will probably not be noticed and your chances of passing greatly improved.
That is until you open your purse and pull out a masculine style wallet. Make sure that inside your purse you have a delicate, feminine and stylish wallet and change purse along with an embroidered handkerchief. Simple detail, but essential.
That may sound silly and almost pointless, but I am constantly amazed to see how many of us over look the little things such as a wallet and handkerchief. A sales clerk, another customer, a waiter, anybody will notice this seemingly meaningless item and wonder about it. And, as we all know, as soon as we call attention to ourselves we invite scrutiny. And inspection is what we don't want. I don't anyway.
Being in public is being in a crowd or at least among other people often quite close to us. Like in an elevator, or waiting in line for tickets or at the cashiers counter. And here is where those little things crop up again. People in lines or waiting are bored people and with nothing else to do will start examining those around them. And what might they notice about you?? Hair!! Again.
Not your real hair or wig but the hair in and around your ears. Men have it, women don't, so we must get out the tweezers or razor and correct that before we do anything else. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your hair/wig will cover it. Probably but not certainly. If your earrings attract attention then, obviously, so will your ears. Get rid of it, the hair not the ear.
Did I say hair?? Yes and that goes for your nose too. Get a trimmer, or if you are into this sort of thing, tweeze the hair away. One way or another, remove the offensive hair that will most assuredly announce you as a male trying to be a female.
Details, details, details. That is what passing and style are all about. Eliminate the little problems and the rest is easy. In previous articles several items were mentioned which bear repeating, especially here in an all-in-one-place article.
Sip your drink, use a straw if fact. Sit with your knees together, ankles crossed. Cross your legs knee to knee, never ankle to knee. Rest your chin on your knuckles not on the palm of your hand. Try it. Rest your chin on your knuckles and then on your palm and you decide which seems the more feminine. Women prefer the knuckles, generally. Next, cross your arms. Usually a woman will let all fingers show, that is, place the hands so that they are on the outside of the biceps. A male lets one hand cross over and disappear under the other arm, as if pushing the biceps up to appear larger. When you sit, don't just squat down and plop into the chair, but gently pass your hands under your rear to smooth your skirt and make sure your are "covered", then sit. Watch your speech patterns or habits. Women refer to nails not fingernails. Ask politely and never demand service. Speak softly and carry a gentle manner. Shop, browse and examine, do not simply rush in and buy. Smile often and avoid direct eye contact, if possible.
Jewelry. Avoid it, it attracts attention unless it is a natural accent and complement to your wardrobe. Remember to keep it simple and minimal. One simple detail that seems to add to femininity, is a small solitaire and wedding band. Cubic zirconium solitaire unless you can afford the other stone. Notice, small solitaire not a Liz Taylor size stone. We want to project reality. Lots of rings, large loop earrings and extra costume jewelry may seem feminine but they merely attract attention and invite inspection. Rings and bracelets call attention to our hands, so be careful and tasteful.
Cosmetics should also be rationed as if excess would get us arrested. The natural look is, if you can achieve it, preferred for the same reason we want to avoid nail polish. Personally I do not want to draw attention to the very feature I am trying to alter. The brighter the lipstick, especially when coordinated with the nail polish, the greater the chance that we will be detected. I always look at, and examine women with unusually heavy eye shadow and/or liner. A cosmetic detail that attracts attention. You might even consider some plain glass, non prescription glasses. Select a very feminine style and this little detail will work wonders for both your confidence and eye cosmetic details. Basically, go easy with the eye shadow and liner.
Sit up straight. Men tend to droop or sort of slouch when they sit, women tend to be more posture conscious. Besides, an erect posture emphasizes our breasts and makes us that much more feminine.
Within reason that is. Granted, women have breasts, but not all are classic, firm and large as fantasized by most men. Contrary to masculine fantasies, breasts come in all sizes and shapes. One critical detail is to get a breast size and shape that matches, or suits your body style. Not your fantasy style, but your real style. And therein lies a separate problem, accepting your real style. Anyway, keep the breasts on the small size. Men look at large breasts out of a natural sexual interest. Women look at breasts, if they look at all, out of admiration, envy or jealousy. It is a detail sort of like the nails, avoid attracting attention unless attracting attention is your goal. In other words, big and bright is out.
The matter of stylish details goes on and on. Perhaps the greatest mistake made is the idea that more is better, when in fact less is better when we are out in public. The common tendency is to overdo the details. An extra ring or darker, brighter nail polish, maybe larger earrings, deeper eye shadow and liner, long false eyelashes, and a 42-D bust with a tight sweater and a mini-skirt. (A 42-D is hardly a detail but you get the point.) All you have to do is look around and notice that the typical woman in her daily activities is quite conservative and almost lacking in those details that we tend to emphasize.
Basically there is a sort of guiding principle to all of this. It revolves around the idea that we must pay more attention to the details than we do to the big picture. Besides keeping them simple, we should keep the details small, blending and natural. In other words, avoid high contrast in colors and shapes, and strive for simplicity.
To restate the obvious, little things do mean a lot, probably more than we realize when it comes to projecting our femininity in the critical world of public opinion
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