There are several methods of testing used in schools, seminars and the like. For example, there are True/False tests, Fill in the Blank tests, Essay tests and Multiple Choice tests. Our favorite has always been the Multiple Choice test. We say this because, even if one does not know the answer immediately, with a bit of reasoning, you stand a very good chance of selecting the correct response.
Generally, the multiple choice has four responses: Two of these tend to be so far removed from the reality of the question as to be absurd. These two options can usually be eliminated immediately. Then, we are faced with the two remaining responses which both "appear" to be good answers; yet there are subtle differences which result in only one of them being the correct answer. Careful reasoning can usually help to discern which one of the two remaining answers is the right one.
In our daily lives, seldom are we faced with important decisions that are as clear cut as "True or False." Very little seems to be black and white anymore, there are so many shades of gray in between. Even less seldom are we faced with problems that can be answered by merely filling in the blank with one word. Essay questions in life wouldn't work well either. These never seem to "get to the point" and meander endlessly while filling up space. As a result, life tends to be more of a "Multiple Choice"
Let's pose a test
question:
You have just discovered that your husband (or partner) has been secretly crossdressing for years. You should:
A. Accept it immediately without question.
B. Leave now.
C. Demand that he stop this disgusting behavior.
D. Obtain as much information about crossdressing as possible and discuss it with him.
Okay, now let's see.... which two answers can we throw out? How about "B and C?" Leaving now, what would this accomplish? You've found out that your partner enjoys wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. Does this mean that he is no longer a good person, provider, partner or friend? No. Aren't there enough qualities about your partner that you still admire and respect? If you were to leave immediately, you leave questions unanswered and give up all that you have experienced together. In short
What about demanding that he stop doing this? That might work, but first, ask him to stop breathing for a day or two. He can no more stop being transgendered than he can stop breathing. His alternate gender personality is a natural part of him. It was most likely there at birth and will be there until he breathes his last. The terminology "disgusting," has to do with our culture. In some cultures, transgenderism is actually revered. The fact is, our western society often condemns those who are dif
We are now faced with
two remaining choices:
A. Accept it immediately without
question; and
D. Obtain as much information about crossdressing as possible
and discuss it with him.
It would be a rare woman who could answer "A." In fact, we don't even recommend this answer. Regardless of what activities or interests your partner has, wouldn't you like to know something about them and share with him? It is unfair to ask that a wife or partner simply "accept" without question that their husband enjoys wearing women's clothing. To accept this new part of your mate without question, could also be construed as complete disinterest. If this is not what you wish to convey, the
The choice that remains appears to be the most logical. There is a distinct difference between wanting to learn more about something new to us before accepting and simply rejecting that which we do not understand. There are numerous resources available from books and videos to counselors and support groups, which can and do provide the information you need to make your own decision. If you are among those who felt a great betrayal at suddenly discovering this secret side of your partner, then you need t
We
nearly forgot! Multiple Choice tests often have a fifth choice, "E. None of the
above." Perhaps the answer for you and your partner isn't even listed among our
selections. There are far more serious and difficult issues in a relationship than
what one wears. Transgenderism is something that can be integrated into a loving
and caring relationship, if so you desire. The choice is yours to make.
Hugs,
Vanessa & Linda
