Dear Rachael,




I have a dilemma.





I've been cross-dressing for about 10 years. I've gone to therapy off and on because of my own questions and fears as to why I like to wear women's clothing. I was trying to figure out what I wanted, do I want to be a woman? Am I gay? Am I a freak? I needed to know if there was a reason for this 'odd' behavior. Well, after 10 years of discovery and questions from my past, I found out that I dress like a woman because I like it, and enjoy the pampering that I do for myself when I do so. I frequented a gay bar in my area where I felt I could go without fear. This is where I discovered that I am not gay. I frequently was hit on by men there. On one occasion, I gave in out of impulsiveness and curiosity. We sat and talked and held each other, and even kissed rather passionately. I gave him my phone number and had weeks of fantasies about it later. However, I discovered that he wasn't what I was turned on by, but rather the danger and risk of the experience. Also, he was very nice to me and made me feel special. I found out, in my loneliness I've had for so long, that all I wanted was some affection from another person and for them to tell me that I was good looking and so forth. Well, after I worked out my emotions, I called him up and apologized to him for 'leading him on' and told him my true feelings. (I wish women would be this up front with me!)

Between school and work and my friends I don't have much time to socialize and find girlfriends and gain some much needed experience in the 'dating game.' This, combined with the fact that I've been dressing up a lot lately, has had the affect of making me feel like all I want to do is dress like a woman and do whatever I can to pass.

This includes recently plucking my eyebrows and getting rid of all my body-hair (except on my head). I've been looking into electrolysis for my face and also considered getting my ears pierced. Basically, I've thrown caution to the wind and risked a lot. In fact, I'm at work right now, and I'm wearing panties, pantyhose, and a chemise under my 'normal' clothes (along with having painted toe-nails). Lately, I've been telling the ladies in the women's departments and makeup counters the truth (and been getting some good advice about how/what to wear).

This, finally, brings me to my dilemma. I suddenly am in the 'limelight' about my dressing up. This includes writing to you, Cindy, and Andrea and risking one of the sys-admin.'s seeing these messages/activities at school. I am afraid of revealing to the world that I'm a TV and yet I also want to shout it to the world--kind of like a challenge: "I dress like a woman! You're going to have to live with it! It's not sick, so open your mind, and leave me alone."

First off, what can I do? I do want to avoid hurting my job prospects (as I have a minimum salary that I need to survive) as well as losing my friends. (Of course, if they were my 'true' friends, they'd accept me as is, but they're only human and it would be very surprising news!)

Secondly, how do I keep myself in line when it comes to forgoing school for dressing up?

Lastly, after reading some of the messages/letters on the TG Forum, I started getting a little concerned for my safety. So far, I've been safe. When I go out, I go to places where I can feel safe and where 'bigots' generally won't be. (Although, the bravest thing I've done to date was go to Dream Girls in a dress!)

Thanks for all your help (and sorry for the verbosity!). Andrea

Dear Andrea:

Last things first. I am so happy that you have decided to back way off the risky stuff. Making out with guys when they think you are as how you appear is the recipe for getting hurt badly or worse! So, don't do that! What you wear under your clothes, on the otherhand, is your business as is your lovely painted toenails. If you get hurt or sick and have to be taken to hospital, your undergarments will be the least of your concerns; besides medical practicians have seen it and more before.

The key to most things in life is a sense of balance and I think you recognize that more and more. The drive to dress as a woman can be totally consuming at times. You feel that you will forsake all else in order to dress and act as a woman. It is a wonderful and powerful emotion, followed by a complete sense of well being. I know!

Perhaps it is time for you to seek counseling (yes hon, it is!). If your desire is to live full time and/or that feeling is getting stronger, a counselor can help you figure out where it is you are going . . . transgendered, transsexual, etc.! If on the road to self-discovery you determine that cross dressing is just a pastime, then you can learn to moderate your dressing so that it doesn't jeopardize other aspects of your life, i.e., job, family relationships, schooling, etc..

One way to bring balance back, if that is what you want, is to schedule your activities so that they allow regular times for feminine expressions. Yes, you are busy. But, you have found time to go to bars, shopping, etc.. Allow time for Andrea to bloom on a regular basis, but not at the expense of necessities in life. Talk, talk, talk . . . to all of us, your transgendered sisters as much as possible . . . to your counselor. This is very cathartic. We all are your support group.

Lastly, I sense that you are very young. If I am right, you have all the time in the world . . . you are not alone in this venture . . . many have gone before and many will follow. Sooo take it slow, enjoy your femininity as very few of our birth sex can. You are not strange; you are a beautiful person. Smile! Rachael


Dear Rachael

I have just turned 44 and I've been married to a wonderful person for the past 11 years. Until two and a half years ago she didn't know about my being transgendered. After attempting suicide and getting some counseling I understood that it was unfair to her to hide my transgendered state.

When I got the nerve to tell her I was surprised by her response. She didn't leave me as I expected and although she felt uncomfortable around me, she still tried her best to hide her disappointment.

As for me, I started exploring the new world that was opened to me. I met many wonderful friends through AOL and local gender support groups. As I became more comfortable expressing my true self I began to see the difference in myself. No longer was I hostile to others or stressed out by the slightest change in plans. Instead I began to understand my hostility was an act designed to prevent others from getting too close to me. Since I no longer had to hide my feminine side from my wife, my level of stress also decreased. These changes were great for me, for the first time in a long time I was truly happy and I was looking forward to life as I never had before.

I began exploring transition. I knew I would lose my family (my wife and a son from a previous marriage) and I felt I would lose my job (which besides being a high paid job is something that I love doing and have done for over 22 years). Nevertheless I made appointments with a therapist and electrolysis as well as discussing everything with my wife.

My wife told me that she couldn't stay married to me if I went through with transition. She did say we could stay friends and she would be there (by phone or mail only, not in person) for me if I needed someone to talk to. The next few months were agonizing for me. While I kept my therapist appointments I canceled, rescheduled, and canceled the electrolysis appointment. Our marriage was collapsing even without me making any physical changes to myself.

At the same time my professional life was jeopardized by downsizing. I had to find a way to keep my job so I put my plans on hold until the fall. It was May when I made that decision. I started letting my body hair grow back, except for the mustache I used to have, in an effort to see if my marriage could be saved. After 3 months of not going out and not talking with friends my wife suggested I go to a TG event on Labor Day. I thought perhaps she was becoming more secure in our relationship but it turned out that she was looking for an excuse to go out herself.

She had met someone and told me a couple weeks later that she felt she was in love with him. I was devastated by that news. I didn't know what to do or say. I didn't want to lose her. I asked her what he had that I didn't have, she told me a mustache. As we talked she said she never noticed I let my hair grow back on my legs and chest over the summer. I knew our relationship had serious problems. In an attempt to save our marriage I asked her to stay with me and I would grow the mustache back. She agreed and now I have a mustache.

Over the past two months our life together has been happy. I have even managed to obtain job security by accepting a new assignment. Besides the stability, I am working with more liberal and open-minded people than before. Things should be going great for me but I've noticed that I am beginning to go into depressions again.

I have begun to let my hair grow longer, using my new assignment as the excuse for doing it now instead of earlier and my nails are beginning to get longer than they ever have been. Last night I cried in the shower because I was so upset over seeing my legs covered with hair and wanting so much to be the person I am instead on acting like this.

I know if I shave the mustache and my legs as well as beginning to dress again, our marriage will end. If I don't, I'm not sure what the future holds for us. I am lost, I don't know what to do. I don't know how much longer I can be happy living like this. I have suggested we get counseling but she won't go.

I am glad I found TG Forum on the Net. I think its a wonderful site and its something the community needs. Thanks, Alicia

Dear Alicia:

My heart goes out to you; you have much pain and suffering ahead, no matter which way you turn. If you resume your trangendered pursuits you will lose your wife and if you don't you may lose your sanity and you may lose her anyway. The one thing that does not make sense to me is that your wife decided to stay with you because you grew your mustache back Ummm, I find this very hard to believe; if it is really true, it sounds like she is rather shallow in her commitment to you. Furthermore, what about this lover that she found? Are you really sure that is over? One might be suspicious? I don't mean to hurt you or instill doubt, unnecessarily, but as an outsider looking in, I may be more objective.

Your desire to move toward your female persona is very strong; that is clear and it is not bad. That you are in deep depression is merely symptomatic of this. You say she won't go to counseling with you? It would be better if she did, but alas, don't let that stop you from going. If you take heed to anything I say, pay attention to this, "YOU GO TO COUNSELING NOW, NOT NEXT WEEK, DO IT RIGHT NOW . . . PHONE FOR AN APPOINTMENT!" Not only will professional help assist you in sorting through all of this complicated stuff, but there some pretty good anti-depressant medicine on the market that wont make you a zombie or sleep all of the time. It will do wonders for your depression (I know!). Huggs! Rachael


Dear Rachael

I am an old french speaking TV/TS (65 yo) and all my life has been a tragedy because I am married and my wife doesn't agree my transsexuality. Fortunately I have the possibility of living some time hidden to life like I am really. May I ask you a service? All my life I wore full slips, but now in Europe they are very difficult to find because the women don't wear them now. Can you indicate where it would possible to buy full slips, preferably in satin polyester ? Love, Colette

Dear Colette:

I find it difficult to believe that Europe has sworn off full slips. If you are really serious, get yourself down to major stores (or phone) and find out who sells what you are looking for . . . they do not have to know it is for you. Short of this, pick up a woman's magazine, note catalog offers and send for some. Send for one catalog and you will get tons of them. Rachael


Dear Rachael:

Where to begin? How about at the beginning. As long as I can remember I thought I was different. I did not know how or why, just that I was. I remember asking my mother (age 8 or so) if I was adopted. I am the oldest of four boys and I felt something was not quite right. I could never put my finger on why. When I was younger I was quite close to my mother while my father and I never saw eye to eye. Mostly, I think, because my father was not one for expressing his feelings, he would just bury everything inside. Unfortunately, in this respect, I am quite a bit like my father.

The first time I remember having what I the time I considered weird feelings was when I was about ten or eleven. I was in the shower and would place the washcloth over my chest. I liked the way it clung to my body when both were wet. That went on for a little while, but I craved something more. That is when I discovered my mother's pantyhose. I loved the way they felt. I would wear them under my clothes when I went out. I specifically remember one time having two pairs on over each other while watching one of my brother's soccer games. I went to a remote bathroom and locked myself in. I just sat there taking in the feeling. This continued for several years.

It started off by just borrowing pantyhose. But it quickly progressed, and I found myself keeping them. Then I needed more. I eventually started using her leotards, bras, panties and even a dress on occasion. I tried makeup. I found it very exciting, but not very masculine. Then one day it happened, I had my first orgasm. Of course it happened while dressed in the nylons. When I am dressing up, I am not myself but someone else. A woman. If I imagine having sex it is as a woman. Most of the times with another woman, but I have to admit once in a while with a man.

My mother finally figured out what was going on, I was fifteen. They made me go to child psychologist. I just sat there. When I would talk to him, I would talk about school or something. Definitely not about what I was feeling. Then this guy had my parents sit in on one of our sessions. It was so embarrassing, having my father just sit there and look down on me. I thought I had let them down. I promised not to do it anymore. Yeah right.

This behavior has been with me since. Sometimes the feelings are stronger than others. I have considered it to be almost be like a drug addiction at times. There have been times when I did not have any clothes and was too embarrassed to buy them. So I would steal them. From mother's of my friends, neighbors even girls in college. Each time I would use the items for a short period of time and profess to quit by throwing everything away. There have been long periods of time (months) when I did not have these feelings, but eventually they always returned. The feelings are irrepressible sometimes. I can remember on more than one occasion watching movie or talk show about transformations and I would get so aroused I would do anything to get into the feminine clothes. On another occasion I recall watching a talk show about someone who had sex reassignment surgery. I thought to myself that if I could do that today, I would. To this day I have not been able to have an orgasm unless dressed in something feminine or actually having sex.

I am now married. My wife knows of my behavior. She found out before we were married when she found my stash under my couch. She has been very understanding considering I was not honest with her at first. I have since come clean and don't know that anything in the letter would surprise her. She does find the behavior very weird and takes it personally. She feels that if I stole something from her, that I am identifying with her in some way. If she finds out that worn a particular piece of her clothing she will not wear it again. I don't know that I blame her. I love her very much and am very afraid she will leave me because of this. During one of our many discussions (many times more like a fight) this fear caused me to promise to stop by seeing someone. I went to see a psychologist. I was mostly honest with him. Again the only thing I was honest about was my wish to stop. He never recognized (and therefore suggest) that I might not be able to stop. After twenty or so visits I decided it was probably a waste of my time and money.

I am now thirty years old. My father recently passed away. And I find my feelings are stronger than ever. Do these three have anything to do with each other? Perhaps. I am looking to talk to someone about the feelings I am having. I have ordered a few items through catalogs and find myself dressing up almost every other day. I purchased a gaff and a corset to make the look a little more realistic. I still feel like I would take advantage of the reassignment procedure if I had the chance. Although, one of the biggest roadblocks is the traditional year of living as a woman before the actual procedure. I don't know either my wife or myself would handle

this. I am very concerned about what people would think of me. I can be fairly insecure about this. I have thought about just disappearing and creating a new identity. Pretty desperate!

KP

Dear KP:

Last things first. No, your wife most likely will not tolerate SRS (reassignment surgery); she will leave you. However, I don't know if you can or are even ready to seriously think about it. You say that you were honest with the psychiatrist when you told him that you, "wish to stop." This does not sound like you really are entertaining a sex change. Why not revisit the psychiatrist and be honest with him, not "mostly honest" . . . or seek a new psychiatrist, if you are too embarrassed to _fess up. Further, you say that one of the biggest roadblocks to SRS is having to live as a woman for a year? If you were really SRS material, you would not consider this a roadblock, but a wonderful chance to live as you mean yourself to be for ever more . . . a joyous occasion!

Maybe you are a cross dresser and that's it; so what's wrong with that? Nothing! You can express yourself in either gender, keep your wife (hopefully) and deal with work as your male self. That may be your world and it can be fulfilling.

Is your father's death related to your surge in feelings? Maybe, maybe not! That's why you should reestablish your contact with your psychiatrist. With Professional help, you can work these issues out. Rachael


Dear Rachael:

I enjoyed reading your ad over the Internet. I too am a heterosexual CD. I'm married and strictly in the closet. My wife is understanding, but she is not interested in seeing me dressed or contributing to my proclivity at all. She did see me all dolled up last Halloween after the kids went to sleep. That was fun. I just found out that there is a local chapter of Tri- Ess here in my home town. I am considering joining so I can meet others with a similar interest. I would go to meetings if it's safe. My kids do not know and they're too young to really understand all this. I'm not sure I even understand it myself.

I'm kind of new to this E-Mail method of communicating. I've owned a computer for about a year and I've only recently discovered the Internet. I'm so happy that I have a way to connect to other CD's.

Dee

Dear Dee:

You are experiencing the joy of finding others like yourself. Yes, by in large, they are good people and not the sleeze that some people think that cross dressers are. They are Doctors, Lawyers, Policemen, Firemen, Judges, CEOs, Truck Drivers, Engineers and even professional sports players. Develop and use your support group. It will be very cathartic. And lastly, nurture you wife's "understanding nature." Many married cross dressers would die to have an understanding wife. Rachael

Dear Rachael:

I am a 43 yr. old heterosexual cross dresser, recently separated, and find myself at a crossroads. I love women but I love to dress like a woman too. Being separated has given me more time to dress (as my wife knew nothing about my being a CD). I have been shopping for more feminine attire and now think I might want to venture out. I am also thinking about joining a support group.

I know that decisions like this are, and will be entirely up to me to make, but I thought I would like to talk it over with someone like yourself. From what I have read about you, it seems like you have been through a lot. Any advice you information you could give would be greatly appreciated. Love, Diane

P.S. Today I went to Victoria's Secret and purchased a matching panty and miracle bra set, which I am wearing now. It is getting easier and easier to purchase feminine things. I only write this P.S. to let you know where I am at.

Dear Diane:

Yes, I have been through a lot, some things wonderful and some not so great! While separation (divorce) is heartbreaking, the freedom it gives a cross dresser is wonderful. You can express yourself without hiding, without

rejection, without shame. It is not uncommon, once the mirror convinces us that we are beautiful, to want to venture out. A caution though . . . that darn mirror often lies (smile).

So, go out, but pick your spots and times. Join a cross dressing group to test your "passability." Your sisters will help you become even more beautiful (passable). Only then would it be advisable to expose yourself to the world at large. Go out with another cross dresser friend as there is safety in numbers. It is not fun being pointed out as a "freak," laughed at or even physically attacked. So be careful. You definitely seem, to be headed in the right direction. Rachael


Dear Rachael:

Let me begin by apologizing early for my spelling! I have 6 degrees, written 4 books and still, I can't spell to save my life. Please bare with me. Thanks... I'm only 25, still young to the elder world. Already my intellect has gotten me in to trouble. To many questions, do I ask. Far to many... In the writings of my last book, part of a trilogy,(sorry not yet copyrighted, can't expand.), I painted my self in to a corner. Most would find it funny, but not me.

The lead character in the book was a mirror image of me, not to uncommon really. The world's readers seemed to love my philosophical sense of understanding. But, a problem soon developed. The character became female. It was actually an accident really. I thought it would be a funny twist to the novel. No one expected a charioteer of such intellect to bounce in to the body of 16 year old girl. It dumbfounded my publisher. Problems problems...I can't conceive as a female, so I can't write about the characters real thoughts. It quickly came to my attention that male and female intellects where very different. Now what?

Well, using the knowledge from my useless degrees, I came to a theory that could work. I can't give you the formula because I lack the mathematical symbols on my keyboard. It ran along the lines of, " that which is brought to forefront reality of mind, may be perceived by opposition gender. In short, that which is conceived by though and image of mind, may be perceived by the brain. I know this all very boring to you, I'm sorry. I tend to babble.

In an effort to test my theory I began to cross dress. . . nothing

outrageous of course. No one knew, no one will. The things I do for knowledge are my own. Needless to say, the experiment failed. However not entirely. I was on certain occasions conceived as a female. I just couldn't maintain the pattern. But, a larger problem developed. I began to notice, now that I was able to somewhat understand female emotion, I as myself, wanted to belong. Christ! what a mess. One man's problems multiplying at rates far beyond my ability to comprehend. I fear my intellect has betrayed me. I am lost in a gray area of the gender. I have written quiet a number of thesis papers on gender. None have been so profound as this one. My colleges are now lost, no one comprehends my work any more. Except Women. How strange. It appears to be on a level that female intellect can identify with. Raw undefined emotion. Abstract form structure and walls.

One more problem to state. My crossing has not stopped. the experiment finished up long ago. I think in a way, I prefer the world I discovered. Although no one excepts me for who I am. Well...Who am I? There's a question for you! I write to for your life's answers. Perhaps you can help me? I am lost amongst a world of predesignated gender. Who am I to question God? I am who I am however. My fiance is unaware of my work and feelings. What a mess...Help. I ask you for your hearts warmth. The philosopher, Ph.D..

Dear Ph.D.

:

You were right . . . you definitely need to work on your spelling (don't we all?). Looks better now, huh? With six(?) degrees and a philosophy major one could think that you would be better grounded. By all appearances you have your head in the clouds or are just very impressed with yourself. For a while I even wondered if this letter was for real. But, I'll assume that it is . . . My suggestions are that you; 1) give up the academics for a while; 2) Get in touch with real people and every day life (go have a pizza and beer) and 3) Go get therapy. You are a professional (writer or student) so you should recognize your need for help. Plain and simple, go get it! Your life will be happier then with or without cross dressing. Rachael


Dear Rachael;

I would like to ask your help with this . Do you think dressing and being hetero are really compatible? Is it sensible to try having sex with men on order to tell? If you do is it very unsual to want the partner to be dressed nicely too? Paula

Dear Paula;

A simple question . . . begs for a simple answer . . . but, there can be no simple answer for this one. Yes, one can be completely heterosexual and be a cross dresser. Someone can be a cross dresser and be homosexual and yes, one can be a cross dresser and be bisexual. It does not stop there; this phenomenon is sometimes temporal. One can start out one way and as time goes by become more or less inclined in one (or variations) of these directions. The answer to this portion of your question is only answerable as it relates to the particular individual. It is reality based only in the mind of the beholders, the questioner and the perceiver, ergo existential phenominolgy! Deep stuff, huh? It truly is . . . and you and your counselor can work it out.

It is never sensible to have same sex sex in order to find out about your own proclivities; that is both dangerous and selfish. You might end up dead when you male friend finds out or you really might emotionally hurt your "test" partner; why would anyone want to do that? Take your questions to your counselor. That's the proper place for you and all others who ponder these questions. Remember, you are not treading on virgin territory, you are not alone and there is a great deal of help out here for you! Rachael


Dear Rachael

I am a 42 year old cross dresser. I am married with 2 boys, ages 9 and 12. I have just recently decided to face up to my cross dressing and begin to accept it. I am writing to you seeking any advice you might have. Following is my brief story.

I began cross dressing at an early age(about 8) when I would dress in my mother's clothes. I continued this until I was about 18; always being careful to do it when I was alone and there was no danger of getting caught. I stopped dressing when I got out of high school and went to college. The drive to dress in women's clothing was still in me, I only denied it's presence and suppressed the feelings. At this time, I began to drink rather heavily and displayed other forms of destructive behavior.

This period lasted 10 years until I got married. I did not tell my wife. One reason for not telling was that I had so effectively suppressed the desire to cross dress that I had forgotten the feelings were still in me. Shortly after marriage, I came home for lunch from work one day, and on a whim, I decided to try on some of my wife's panties and pantihose. I was surprised as to how good they felt on my legs, and I began to remember that I used to enjoy dressing in my mother's clothes while growing up.

Over the years, I tried on more items of my wife's clothing. I started wearing bras, slips, dresses, blouses, skirts. She was not my size, so I never looked very good, so I decided to start buying my own things, mainly through mail order. I was always careful to hide this behavior from my wife, but I knew she suspected that there was another side to me that I was hiding. Over the years, my efforts to hide and deny my feminine side has caused me to have low self-esteem, and feelings of guilt, shame and anger.

Last July, I read an Ann Landers article about a wife who had a husband that liked to dress in her clothes. Ann suggested she contact the International Foundation for Gender Education for some publications. I took the address and sent for information, and I ordered the book, "My Husband Wears My Clothes". I read this book three times. It was the first book that was able to explain the feelings I have had all my life.

It really answered many questions for me and I began to understand the reasons for my past behavior. Shortly after reading this book and others, I told my wife about my cross dressing. I asked her to read "My Husband Wears My Clothes", and she read about half. She reacted with anger, and has displayed most of the reactions and emotions that were discussed in the book.

It has been about five months since I told my wife about my desire to cross dress. So far, she is barely tolerant; she prefers that I dress when she and the boys are not around. She still thinks there is something wrong with me. We have begun to see a marriage counselor. We are seeing a woman who has had a couple of cases dealing with cross dressing. I am continuing to read all I can find about cross dressing. The Transgender Forum has been a wonderful source of information. I did not know there were so many others that have gone through the same things I am going through.

I would welcome any advice you might have for me. Thanks, Michelle

Dear Michelle:

Welcome to the sisterhood, hon. Congratulations on accepting yourself. As you already know, it does no good not to and can even be disastrous not to accept. Your drinking, and depression (a.k.a. anger) were probably from pent up anxieties from not being able to express your feminine self. Right now you seem to be doing everything right. You have told you wife, you have joined I.F.G.E., you are reading subject material on the matter (by the way you first choice was excellent), you are seeking counseling . . . wow, all great stuff! Keep up the reading!

Your wife wants to keep your children out of it and I tend to agree (merely my opinion) until they are well past puberty; life is tough just growing up in a regular home. Throw the gender confusion, cross dressing into it may effect the kids for ever more.

A fact that you have to come to grips with is, that your wife may never accept your proclivity . . . and worse yet she may decide not to tolerate it. She did not set out to marry a woman and most likely does not feel herself to be a lesbian. You know what follows. No, if you guessed that you will just put it back in the closet, that was the wrong answer. If you are like most of us, you will move forward on the path that you are on, because it is an imperative in your mind and a necessity for your well-being! We are talking divorce here and face that as a possiblility; it will hurt emotionally and financially!

On the other hand, your wife may develop a tolerance with time and understanding. If you value your relationship, and it definitely appears that you do, go slow . . . take time, respect her limitations as much as you can, seek a middle ground through counseling. But don't let that middle ground be denial; if you do, I think that in the long run, it will destroy your marriage as well, just a little further down the road. Rachael


Dear Rachael:

I am a 33 year old married male trying to get in touch with my true self. For most of my life I've felt that I was really meant to be a woman, but because of upbringing, never was able to explore that side of myself. I've never had a safe space to explore being out as a woman, and I've always felt my size (6'2", various weights from 140 to 195lbs) would make me stand out like a sore thumb.

I'm looking for Austin, TX resources to help me come to grips with who I am and what my future holds. I've made a contact with a supportive therapist, but need help with the other side of me that I've never gotten to know. Support groups in this part of Texas would be a great start. Sometimes Liz

Dear Liz:

I have know many cross dressers who are your size or taller. Some pass quite well, some don't. I know a few women who are your size or taller. Some do it well, some don't. With the right clothes and makeup, with the proper demeanor, carriage, you will probably fair well. Avoid spike heels, obviously, but not low heels. Just enjoy.

San Antonio is the Home of the "Texas T" party, an annual affair put on by Boulton & Park (a cross dresser group), usually in February, I believe. I have gone to two of their events and they are quite lovely and wonderful sisters will be there as well as some professionals in the field of cross dressing, etc.. Look on these forums for advertisements. It looks like San Antonio is about 100 miles from you. That is a nice drive, especially if done as "Liz." Have fun, Rachael


Dear Rachael:

I am a pre op TS. married for the past 15 years to a supportive person "not that it is easy but she is supportive" Mostly I am trying to seek out others in this community. I live in a small town on the Oregon coast and can't leave from here with much ease. So I am looking for information and suggestions on how to meet others on the web/net I have not ever met with any other TS's and though I have done allot of counseling and self exploration I feel a great need to find others and myself within the community for T.S. TG's if you have any advice or if you know of where I can go to get into contact with others please do write. Thank you for your time. with respect and love, Renee

Dear Renee:

Yes dear, there is a way to find others like yourself for support and socializing. Keep looking here for organizations like I.F.G.E, Tri-Ess, others and look here for the address of Tapestry Magazine; It lists support and social organizations by State and Country. Gosh, there are just so many organizations out there. I hope that you can find one close, but if not, Internet will bring far away sisters right to your monitor. Don't forget CompuServe . . . They have a Human Sexuality Forum . . . "go hsx." Rachael


Reaching Rachael

Got something on your mind? Would you like to talk it over with Rachael? Drop a line to Cindy and she'll get your story to Rachael.
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