Informing your employer that you are about to go through transition can be a very difficult decision and no one way is correct. From time to time we will publish stories by readers who have gone through this process to give those of you in a similiar situation some ideas on how others have handled this. If you would like to participate contact Cindy Martin YOUR story could help someone else...
By Kelly Ann Stiles
Date: February 21, 1996
To: (management)
From: (male name)
This letter is to inform you that certain obvious changes that you may have observed in me over the past year have a reason. I have been diagnosed by a board certified therapist with a condition that is referred to in the medical community as Gender Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder. This means that I am at odds with my internal gender identity as opposed to the state of my physical gender. In lay terms I am a transsexual, that is I am a female inhabiting a male body. This condition has lead to episodes of severe depression and if not treated many individuals eventually take their own lives.
This medical disorder is thought to come about during fetal development as an abnormal influx of the mother's female hormones inundates the unborn baby. This permanently fixes the brain into a particular gender and cannot be corrected except by surgical reassignment of the individual's physical sex. This surgical procedure is officially referred to as Gender/Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS), the sex change operation.
In order for this operation to occur an individual must follow a highly regimented set of guidelines known as the Standards Of Care for the treatment of Gender Identity Disorder (SOC). This requires an individual to undergo therapeutic treatment by multiple licensed therapists trained in treating Gender Dysphoria. I am also under the care of an endocrinologist and have started what is referred to as Hormonal Reassignment Therapy (HRT). This involves taking massive doses of physician prescribed female hormones and anti-testosterone drugs. Dramatic physical and emotional changes will occur as this process progresses.
There is more and this letter is the next logical step in the process to eventually receive the needed surgery. The SOC requires that before surgery can be authorized the gender dysphoric individual must live in the target gender every hour, every day for a period leading up to the surgery, which is generally a minimum of one full year. This is referred to in the SOC as the Real Life Test (RLT).
This process is not without its emotional, physical and financial consequences. I, along with many other individuals like me, have suffered the loss of marriages, families and friends. I realize that the changes occurring in me have become obvious and that many of you have noted and felt uncomfortable with these changes. The purpose of this letter is to inform you that there is a logical and medical reason for these changes. I know that this will not be easy for many of you and God knows it will not be easy for me either. After many years and attempts to purge myself of this condition I have finally come to terms with myself and come out to my superiors and colleagues. This has brought about a sense of well being and my attitudes and emotions have reflected this.
Also, many of you will have preconceived ideas of what a transsexual really is. The stereotypes are incorrect and many others who have gone through this process of gender change hold professional, highly productive lives and are very happy and healthy citizens.
Therefore, I will begin my period of the Real Life Test and live full time as a female starting on a proposed date of May 1, 1996 to be authorized by my superiors. This means I will be appearing on the job as a female and conduct myself with the same manner. I will have my name legally changed to Kelly Ann Stiles through the court system which will affect all legal documentation bearing my current name including my birth certificate. My endocrinologist also has the legal power granted under the laws of California to authorize my gender be changed on all applicable documentation including my driver's license. At this time I will be legally classified and recognized as female in the eyes of the law.
I realize many of you will have questions, feelings, and emotions concerning this issue. I will try to explain my situation and I'd be happy to answer your individual sincere questions on a one-to-one basis if you wish.
Again, your patience, acceptance, and understanding will be greatly appreciated as I begin this new phase of my life and the long sought relief and happiness that has so far attended my change.
Respectfully,
Ms. Kelly Ann Stiles
Back to Transgender Forum's home page