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© 1996 Transgender Forum
February-March 1996
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Topics included: Would you change who you are if you could? Biggest risks you've taken because of your transgenderism? Many others...
I would never want to change the way I am. I've been cross dressing for ten years and have come to terms with my fem side. I have never gone out in public and have no plans to do so in the future, but for a few hours a week I am "completely" female. The experence of cross dressing has given me a better view of life and made me a more understanding person. Men who have never had the fun of wearing stockings and heels, lipstick and eyeliner, simply haven't lived.
I don't think I can get free of the feelings or that I really would want to. I'm just beginning to understand the feelings that I've had now for a long time already. Now I'm beginning to understand why I've always felt like a woman. The most important thing I have learned is that there are others who feel as I do. I wish I had known that many years ago. It would have made life much easier!
Beyond the pain of desire
the beauty of being me
has always been
the great calm
when I discover
my eyes wandering
across the mirror
at my reflection.
Lilly
Hi, my name is Lisa, and I definately "wouldn't" want to stop my
crossdressing, or the fantastic feelings that go along with it.
it's a wonderfully natural "high" for me and extremely "sexual' in
nature. As a male, getting in touch with my "fem" side has been very
"liberating, and I wouldn't give it up for anything.
Lisa
Whether or not I would cure myself of the desire to crossdress is a good question that I must now answer. I have to decide whether to seek out the psychotherapy I have heard can cure my desire, or to simply accept myself the way I am. It is clear what everyone else wants and it would make life easier to be sure, but it is awfully hard to kill off a loved part of yourself. Victoria C.
Icould NEVER stop striving to attain my feminine feelings. I have come to feel so comfortable in the role of a woman that it would be useless to make such an attempt.
TVPamela@AOL.COM
There was a time when I wondered if I had the opportunity to jettison that what I am endowed with,
Would I had been better off? Possibly..
But the world I've created around me just wouldn't be as fun.
The Solution for me was to open my mind, stop questioning the Gods and the universe,
And ACCEPT who and what I am.
I am more Fabulous for it!!!
Life is short. Live NOW love LIFE
and Go Shopping!
Monika Dare
The only way I'd give it up is if I could be a GG ;-)
Regina
No! I am very happy with my TVism. However, I do have guilt feelings about its effects on my wife.
I'm a closet CD but I am still having trouble accepting it. Often I argue that my 6'2'' frame was never ment to wear femme clothing. I have purchased very few articles of clothing but everytime I buy something new I always seem to become fustrated with myself and throw out the recently purchased clothes. I was hoping to hear stories on when you knew for sure that this was the lifestyle for you.
aratte@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca
Hi, Give up my transgendered feelings? You have to be kidding.
The vacuum that would leave in my life would be unbearable.
Would I do it?
The proof of the pudding is in the eating. I just went through six months of
Therapy, and some very long soul searching moments with my SO, only to
realize that I cannot (for various reasons), give up the male part of myself.
In addition, I also came to realize that the female part of me encompasses all of
my heart and soul, so I am left with striking up a balance in my life. There is
just no desire on my part to rid myself of what I consider the best part of me.
I am as much Ros, as anything else, and would not, and hopefully never will
give up this part of myself. Now that that has been said, I just wanted to take
this opportunity to say hello to everyone. I have been a dreaded lurker for
some time now, but the Therapy was intense, and life has been more than
difficult this last while, which left me with little to say. For a while there, I
really did not know what the outcome was going to be, Not knowing who you
are, let alone what you will be, leaves you with no future to look toward, and
that was the scariest part of it all. However I have survived, I am here to
stay, and I have resolved to become more comfortable and open with myself,
and my roles. Just one final note, I would like to apologize to Rosalind...we
have the same name...however, this has been my name of choice all my life,
and the one I intended to use if I had ultimately chosen SRS (I have been
fighting with this a very, very long time).
Best Regards to Everyone
Rosalind (Ros)
When I was 15 I was walking through town hall just leaving the the ladies room.
When I went out the door my heel got caught on the frame and I fell three cops
jumped me and where handcuffing me before I could get up. The librarians from
the library across the parking lot were all wathcing(My Family and I knew all of
them). My father had to pick meup at the station while I was wearing a short mini
and six inch heels. The cops took pictures of me and brought them to court.
k8@lagnaf.isdn.mcs.net
No way, it's worth the hassle.
Babette
what a nice place to find here. I've been in hiding so long that to
sit here and type, knowing that others will see it seems terribly
daring and a bit frightening. I've had fifty--five years of hiding,
to the best of my memory. Each time I've shared this with another
human being....it's blown up in my face. It's nice to see that
there are others sharing the same concerns. Alana
Oh gosh...yes! Think of how much more I might have learned of life
NOT being a part of this gender issue hammering away constantly.
I think of those who seem completely satisfied with themselves, get
on with life with out this complexity and wonder why I've been
plagued with some thing different, demanding more of my attentions.
The risk factor alone has been difficult to deal with.
I I don't think I'd ever want to quit. My personality as it is, embraces both the male and female. In order to be complete, you must do as your heart tells you. As for myself, I believe we are all both male and female, but unfortunately today's society is afraid to let go and discover both sides of the coin. How can you really understand the opposite sex
if you don't understand yourself?
-Melissa :)
I I was in the mall in my sexiest skirt and a Jimmy Johnson lookalike says, I wish I had your balls. I walked off then returned & asked what he meant. He said I wish I had your courage. You really look good. I smiled, thanked him and walked off. He had made me and liked what he saw and/or he was a TV himself. In either event, I wish I would have done the proper follow up. It was my first "encounter" with a male while dressed and needless to say it was
rather risky not to keep on walking. I often dream about what could have been. As a side subject, I now dress fully when I come home from work nightly. My wife accepts (perhaps it's tolerates) inside the house but doesn't want me to go out. Are there other hubbies with similar experiences? Also, I am interested in the idea of sex with men but not with men.
The risk of being a hetero male and falling love with a transexual was wrought with peril. We spent two wonderfully challenging years together and have since
parted. I am now in a loving relationship with a women, but how I long for the
tender moments I spent with Mardi.
E.
I am a 55yr old Hetero CD and since I figured out what I was and did a lot of reading I have come to realize this is a "gender gift". The "Suzi" part of me has been there always and, in retrospect, has had a large affect on what/who I am. I do not want to give that part of me up even though it would eliminate some problems for me.
an414985@anon.penet.fi
I am a 19 year old cross dresser if I could get rid of the urge to cross dress I would not do it.
p.s If any one knows of a place that I can get every than that I need to look like a real woman please let me know I live in Festus, Mo
so just leve a mesage on the inter net www
Melissa
If I could stop having these feelings, I would, but I can't. I am
going through a stage of having purged my clothes. I have even tried to deal with it
through my wife. She does not accept my feelings.
Linda
Stop being TG? No I couldn't do that. Although it has caused a lot
of hurt in my life, it has also made me the person I am today.
This is an outlandish thought. Never in my womanhood would I ever consider quiting! Being a woman is the VERY BEST thing that can ever happen to anyone. There is no other life!!!
Love always,
Marilyn Rhodes
This week's question addressess the issue of disposing of transgender feelings. Well, What I would want is to finally become a woman and dispose of my maleness forever, not my transgenderism! I would rather live life as a woman than a man anyday!
lbailey@mail.utep.edu
NAH!
HUGS ROASALIND!
Hi, I beleive that the one of the most risky things I have done so far is
browsing the T* websites in my dormroom when all the guys are home.
Jessica
The biggest risk I think I've taken was coming out to my mother.
Hello all i am a straight male that until a year or so ago,never would
have thought anything about transexuals, but I met a beautiful girl and the
rest is now my regret. After I found out that she was born a male, I could not
handle it, thought that it made me a queer, now I know it was just love that i could not
handle, I miss her everyday and wish I had know about transexauls then.
Gary
The biggest risk I ever took was going out to meet a man a met on a chat line. He picked me up in his car and suggested we went to a park. I suggested we went for a walk by the river and he agreed. We got out and as I gazed over the water, he put his arm around me. It was such a thrill. I asked him to kiss me and suddenly his hands were all over me. I invited him back to my flat and he agreed in an instant. I was so pleased that I had excited a man - I felt so feminine.
Just curious. What's the youngest age that a male has undergone a
sex change operation to become a girl? Specifically, a post-op
patient. I don't mean a forced sex change or hermaphrodite situation.
Just a matter of a boy who wanted to be a girl and actually had the
surgery at a young age. What was the outcome, physically and
emotionally speaking. I've heard rumors that the youngest was 14.
You hear about these subjects on the talk shows from time to time,
but never a post-op circumstance. Love to hear from anyone on this.
Eirika
An issue that has come forth on our BB here, as well as in other groups and
forums is what our relationship should be with the gay and lesbian groups.
Some feel that such relationships are "fruitful". Others feel that relating
politically with gay associations is not good for the T community.
I would like to feel the latter is true. We have to stand up for our own
rights and in some cases our values and objectives are far and apart from our
gay brethrin. On the other hand, we are not only small and unorganized but
many of us tend to come out of hiding to seek help and advice only to return
to the closet after the surgeon dismisses them from his care. This leaves us
without strong advocates. For this reason we have no choice. We will have to
align with stronger more organized groups.
Elaine
Femininity and masculinity are labels used to try to make us limit
our virtues. Men are expected to avoid being gentle, compassionate,
meek, or loving;
women should not be courageous or strong. If you break the rules and develop
forbidden virtues, you will be punished with a label such as "not masculine".
Well, I'll wear such a label proudly.
Jade
I haven't crossdressed in a while, but when I did , I would wake up
early and get dressed while my wife slept. I'd put my make up on and
get dressed in "Jennifer's" clothes. I'd then put my "male" clothes
on over my "femme" clothes and leave for work. Jennifer
I have been widowed for 22 months. My late wife found me dressed.She never accepted but never held it against me. I have now found a new lady. I told her that I was a TV. J.... has encouraged this and would like to go out with me as Nichola.
I do not think i can do this as much as i would like to. Reason is Wales is a small place and I do Not know of any safe havens in Abertawe.
Nichola
The biggest risk - is going to see the head shrinker next week. I have had some other very serious difficulties that nothing to do with my hetero CDing. The MD
has me on some mood elevators. When I go to the shrink for a med consult, I
intend to spill my guts about the panties, bras, pantyhose, pumps, wigs, jumpers,
- you get the picture. I wonder what the Doctor (female) response will be?
I don't know... But I soon will. - others been there? done that?
an530286@anon.penet.fi
So far, I realize that I am not a stereotypical male. I realize that I have a femme side that has been peeking out every now and again but
lately has been happening more often. I am beginning to make some contact with some TG/CD groups (haven't attended any meetings yet) to
meet with other like-minded people. So far the biggest risks have been dressing around the house and almost getting caught by my housemates and mail-ordering clothes and not being the first one home to get the mail. I hope to be able to
get past this closeted part of life and feel free expressing myself the way I feel on the inside.
Melissa
I felt that I didn't have to send a message because I saw my thoughts in all of
your comments. I have been a CD for as long as I can remember and it was only
recently that I went outside. All of this time I've been in a closet filled
with guilt. Although my wife has known for many years and been able to deal
with it,it has become increasing difficult for her. The me sharing with you now
is getting stronger and I yearn for more as a woman. I have been very lonely
here in NY. I don't seem to fit in anywhere. Finding this forum has been great.
For first time in my life I feel acceptance and understanding. It is not likely
that I will ever live my fantacy of living as a woman but having some friends to
share this part of my life with me would be great. By the way, my scariest
experience so far was having to use a bathroom while shopping. I'm so proud
I've done it two times. One small step for "woman" kind.
Thanks,
Lynn Michelle
Biggest risks taken? There are so many! Just facing the reality of
who I am was risky to my emotional well-being (though NOT facing it
was more risky)...admitting my real self to my wife -- & where it
would probably lead to ultimately...the risk of leaving the house as
a woman & risking exposure by neighbors who probably would neither
understand or condone who I really was...Being recognized by a co-worker or acquaintance when outside the house...nothing dramatically
different from what many others face daily.
The realization that I must be who I really am now puts me at more
risk as I openly shop, go to restaurants, movies, etc. as a woman,
but a necessary risk that I'm willing -- though not always able to
take.
Lynn
I read with interest the note from the gal who felt that our community was in fact discriminated by the gay and lesbian community, and why should we support the, if they don't support us? After 8 years in the community, I can't say anymore than my experience with the gay and lesbian communities has been very fruitful and fulfilling, and always, supportive. There is too much homophobia in todays society, and too much in the transgendered community. If I had been as discriminated against as much as has the gay and lesbian communities, I think I'd be on the defensive, too.
A Almost being "found out" by friends who would never understand.
Melissa
I am writing because I wanted to share an experience. I went out dressed tonight in an area east of L.A., by about 45 mins. I tried hard to look good but I knew I was a bit overdressed for a single woman. Well, I started late - make-up took longer than I thought - and just decided to go into a small local bar called "Dan's Place". It was quiet but as I entered I heard "are you a man or a woman!" from a local drunk who was immediately shut-up by the woman bartender who treated me with the upmost respect. I sat at the bar and talked to her mainly. Another woman, who was alone at the bar, also spoke to me nicely.
This was a real no-brainer for me. The biggest risk was telling my SO, a
wonderful woman with whom I have a marvelous relationship with, that I was a
crossdresser. Why did I take the risk? Because we are thinking of getting
married and I felt she had a right to know. To make a long story short, it was
well worth the risk!
Yvonne
My biggist risks have been to access the News Groups and the Transgender Home
pages from work. Sniffers, snoopers and unfriendly net cops could out
me before I'm ready.
Marianne
Since I have never been fully out as a female, I haven't gone through any serious risk taking. However, I know I hear a couple of chuckles every once in a while when people see my smooth shaved legs. The first time I did that was a lulu... I went to church that Sunday morning in shorts and some people thought it was cool that a young man had shaved his legs! A couple of women even rubbed their hands over them and explained how my legs were smoother than theirs! Perhaps someday I will dress fully and see what the response is. I'm sure it will not be as well-received. I am a Christian who is seeking the Lord on what is the right thing to do with my life, and I firmly believe that He will help me with this. So many of you all already have!
Femininity and masculinity are artificial and arbitrary social concepts. What is masculine and what is feminine varies greatly from culture to culture and time to time. What set of genitals we have shouldn't define who we are, even if who we are doesn't necessarily fit either category. - DT
Femininity is the act of caring how someone else feels. Empathizing with their feelings. It is the act of discarding the agressive male and donning the female
attitudes which deliver so much more to us all.
It is far more than physical appearance although most of us desparatley
want to look good too. I just want to be a woman, complete unto myself.
Sara Anne
Anyone who thinks this is easy to answer is not giving it enough thought. I would *love* to hear from some genetic women on this one. Almost any trait
that we label "masculine" or "feminin" can be attributed to society's
expectations of us, and those expectations can change over time. Consequently
the definitions are not constant.
Are there any inhertly masculine or feminin traits? Mannerisms and
behaviors that we are born with? My feeling is probably not many. So much of our
masculinity and femininity is so well integrated in us through years of
"practice" and "role playing" that we probably don't think of it as aquired
anymore.
Yvonne
I sat here thinking how feminine I want to be but for the life of me I just couldn't define it. I think being feminine is just being what you want to be or feeling what you feel when dressed in feminine clothes I don't think anyone can safely put a label on an individual activity. Bye For Now HUGS
ROSALIND!
Aside from the obvious anatomical differences between the genders, I think that a lot of our ideas about masculinity and femininity come from views set by society in general. The classic idea of maleness is the strong, tough,brave and somewhat hardnosed male while the traditional view of the ideal woman is that of the gentle, nurturing soft and delicate female. In actual fact, neither "ideal" is accurate in the least.
Not too long ago, I read that a gr.12 student was kicked out of high
school in Burnaby, B.C.,Canada for showing up to class in a floor-lenght skirt. He wasnt
wearing any make-up or anything that would draw attention to his
appearance. This was a public school in a large progressive city!
Apparently, the authorities claimed it was for his own security...
because other kids were offended and that his condition could cause unwarrented physical harm. This event leads me to believe that many young
people are inclined to think that womens clothes are symbols reserved
exclusively for women to enforce/distinguish how they are unlike men.
brais@server.uwindsor.ca
Unfortunately too many of those in the Gay/Lesbian community are just as opposed to our rights as those in the straight world. While we should be together in a joined fight against oppression, it rarely works out this way. Too often when circulating in an area which is largely compriseed of Gays and Lesbians one will here comments like "Stupid queen" or "who does HE think he is/?".
G reetings Sisters! I am pleased to have found such a wonderful support network. I send you all images of our gorgeous mountainside abode here in western rural Oregon. May your spirits ride your warm air currents , Al
I I am a straight closet cross dresser and have been for as long as I can remember. I have suffered many years of guilt and self doubt over this issue and it has cost me dearly in my personal relationships. I love to dress up and although I don't go public (our small town is not very broadminded and I would likely be run out of town). I am the last person anyone would suspect of being a cross dresser as I am very masculine in appearance. I feel like dressing up lets me become a gentler person.
Hi! I think we should use every avenue to ensure that we are given the same rights as every one else! Hopefully the Gays, Lesbians and Hetro community we help us to get out in the open and not be ashamed of who we are! I think we all can be grateful and help the other communities, also. Put on your high heels or combat boots and show them what we've got!! Also, for those who didn't know it we've had a bit of trouble with the phone service in San Francisco (it's been acting a bit queer lately) and we haven't been able to get out of the area (is this a conspiracy?), so I hope that the person in Alaska contacts me again, I seemed to have written down the info(e-mail and snail) wrong and cannot get through. I hope all is well and please don't take offense at my sick puns! Don't take life so serious!
Donna
I cannot stress how important it is for us to stand firm with all minority group
now that the decency bill is looming over all our activities. I thought that the Australian
governmaent was narrow minded and backward in its approach to minoritys living
alternate lifestyles, but obviously It's not the only one. The time has come to stand firm
fight for what we believe in and the only way is to support each and every group affected by
this atrocity. Having said that if there is anything I can do from my closet let me know,
and I'm not being flippant. Anything I can do to help without public exposure just yet I will do.
Bye for now Hugs
ROSALIND!
I have been cross dressing for 30 years, but very infrequently. The first time
I went outside enfemme was only 2 weeks ago, but I just drove around. Finding
this area on the internet has been the greatest relief in my very confused life.
I have been seeing shrinks for the past 15 years, but even there I have not found
one sensitive or understanding to my circumstances.
-- Sarah
In answer to the topic posted for this week, I say that we should not try to
establish ourselves an alliance with the gay/lesbian community. First of all
I have nothing personal against them, in fact I have a few friends that are
gay or lesbians and they are very nice people.
However, the problem here with going along with them is that we have
two separate agendas going here. Theirs is for the acceptance by society of
their SEXUAL orientation and ours is for acceptance of our right to present
ourselves in whatever GENDER that we choose to.
As a CD/TV/TG or whatever letters you want to put together to label
yourself, the first thing that almost every person on the planet will suspect
of you when you tell them that you want to dress up and portray yourself as a
woman, is that you are gay. Now I know there are probably some of us in the
community that are gay, but again that is an entirely different issue at work
here.
For the heterosexual ones, and they comprise the majority of our
group, they will spend hours, days, weeks and months claiming just the
opposite, that they are indeed not gay or bisexual and that they don't want
to have a sex change and on and on and on. We have all been there or will be
there at one point in time in our lives. So why do we want to align ourselves
with a group that doesn't espouse what we do?
For the most part, the contact that I have had with them when out in
my femme self has been tolerance of my sisters and I. And that is only
because we are willing to spend our money in their establishments. Granted,
at this point in time, usually that is the only place that we can go for some
entertainment but that is a story for another time and place.
As with any major societal change that has taken place in our
history, the group that has been at the forefront of it has always taken in
smaller groups that had similar interests, but as soon as they got what they
set out to acheive,they dropped them like a hot potato. And this is what will
happen whenever they get accepted by society. Bang, we would be out the door
sooner than our mascara dries.
Theresa Richards
Any Gay/Lesbian organization that is not itself discriminatory towards the TG community & has not created extreme ill-will towards the general
public, should be considered an ally. If we begin to compartmentalize anti-discrimination efforts, those efforts will almost certainly become less effective than any that have the force of
shear weight-of-numbers.
"United we stand; divided we fall" is not far off the mark. It may take
some enlightenment on the part of all-concerned -- we know how much
discrimination there is just within the TG community -- but effective,
cohesive alliances can only help all our causes.
Lynn
Ladies:
This might not be quite in line with the topic listed, but it is
something that has probably been on each and every one of our minds at
one point in time or the other. Simply put it is this: It is a crime
that we don't have the oppurtunity to be able to do whatever we please
to do in this society (so long as we don't break any laws). As I am
sitting here composing this note, I have gotten fully dressed to enjoy
my day off in the gender of my chosing and we all know what that is!
As I finished up getting dressed and I was looking in the mirror
to adjust everything, I thought what a shame that I can't leave my home
and go down to the local store to do some shopping. It would be grand if
I was able to do that without the fear of being labeled by people that
I know and see every day as my male self as some kind of pervert.
I, as well as most of you, see nothing wrong inherently with the
act of putting on clothing that we like to wear. Nor do I find that
wanting to wear makeup and make myself look much better and prettier
than I normally would. As Theresa I feel so much better about myself and
freer in every sense of the word.
I know there are some of you that say to just go ahead and go
out and enjoy yourself, but that you see is not a viable option in the
area that I live in. There are still too many people out there who ahve
a general misconception about what we are all about. I just hope that
sooner than later society realizes that we aren't what they think we are
and they will let us do as we please.
In the meantime, I guess we have to just keep fighting for the
cause and go to our group meetings, for those of us who are lucky enough
to have a group to belong to.
Any comments? Leave me Email! I will get back to you!
Theresa Richards
I really don't think we should be together! It is not that I have
anything against either group. In fact, many of us are in both camps. But
it is important that we don't cause the public to make an automatic link
or association between the two groups, thus adding more confusion to
the limited understanding that's out there of transgender issues.
Heidi
While driving on the highway I decided to tease some of the truckers with a little slip. My white body shaper really stood out from my black miniskirt and
leggings. One trucker sped up to get closer look. I just sat twirling my necklace with my long red fingernails. He smiled and waved as he rode along side me. Finally after 10 miles of constant flirtation, I decided to exit. He waved me on as if to follow him for a 'date', but I just shook my head and began to exit. I teased him one last time with a little more leg. He blew his air horn and gestured a kiss to me as we parted. Love Stacy
Trying on some shoes (mens as a man) I pulled off my old shoes. I needed a
thinner sock so the lady brought me one. I forgot about my red nail polish.
She was as embarrassed as I was. Exciting to me at the same time, though.
She suggested a color more suited to my colors.
Carolyn
Once while out driving around dressed, I stopped for a female hitch-hiker
that was wearing lots of black leather,Boots, jacket and skirt (domination fantasies)
She convinced me to drive her home.(big surprise)She fired up a doobie for my trouble,
and by the time we were finished her boyfriend came home.Turns out she was a "working girl"
she told him she brought me home for him! Needless to say, they kept me busy that night!
I even worked for them a few times.
The strangest thing that happened to me when I was crossdressing was when I felt that I had become a real woman when I looked in the mirror adjusting
my wig and I really looked beautiful!
Leanne Lewis
To the minister who wrote below, and anybody else: I'm a
die-hard Christian CDer and willing to talk to anybody about
Christianity and trans-whatever. I don't even know a
small fraction of everything, but I'm eager to try to
help. Jade
I was driving from Texas to Illinois and decided to do the second day of the trip as Debbie. Everything went well until I stopped for a quick bite to eat in
a small town in Arkansas. After having a pizza and salad at a Pizza-Hut, I
was ready to get back on the road. I started to open the car door and could not
find my keys in my purse. They were still hanging in the ignition with the doors
locked. First I panicked...I was wearing 4" heel leather boots a short skirt and long blond wig. Then I went back in and asked if they knew someone who could help get me in my car. They said...sure...and called someone. A few minutes the local Sheriff showed up and proceeded to open my door. I was as nervous as anyone could be. After he got it open, I asked if I could buy him a pizza for his trouble. He said, "No dear...just looking at you in those boots has
been payment enough"
Debbie
Actually, for me the most embarrassing thing if not the most entertaining thing, was my skin tight red PVC dress ripping up the back seam at Dragstrip 66 leaving Monika Dare's "der'ier
mk991@primenet.com
One time I was wearing my hottest little leather mini skirt and
while I was bent over pumping gas into my car, the mechanic whistled
at my cute piquant buttocks. I thought I'd take a look back to see
if he was my gas station fantasy guy and shot gas all over him. Now
he brings me cheese every Sunday and my car is in perfect shape. moth@tigr1.fhsu.edu
I was almost caught once just after I had put on a beatiful pair
of red panties. I ducked quickly under my bed and was not seen.
That was many years ago, now I dress fully whenever I can and
particulary enjoy being out on a windy day. I love wearing womens
undergarmets and glourious feeling when fully dressed.
Diane
Emily,
the isbn no for your book is isbn 0571162517 it's published by faber& faber,
3, Queen St. London WC 1N
C an't comment on the topic, because nothing THAT out-of-the-ordinary ever happened to me while cross-dressed. I am unsure if this is the
correct forum for the following query, but I am a young man, in school
looking to purchase women's shoes in larger-than-usual sizes, perhaps
size 14 EE, where they are inexpensive. I used to wear a 13 EE,
but I grew out of them. Does anyone know of any retailers, catalogues
or stores in the New York/New Jersey Metroplitan area that sells
ATTRACTIVE heels, flats, boots, in larger sizes, that AREN'T too exp-
ensive?
rmjs@eden.rutgers.edu
I have yet to go out in public fully dressed, but I can say it's a bit strange
when people from work call me at home to ask a question. I feel comfortable speaking
to them, but I wonder: "If only they knew who they're talking to!" I'd love
to come to work "dressed" to show them. Somehow, though, I think I'd be browsing
the "HELP WANTED" ads after doing that.
Suzy
I am fascinated by the sharp contrasts appearing in identity as a cross-dresser. Being a pilot, I fly airline aircrafts. Thousands of horsepowers at my finger tips.
I wear a nice dark blue uniform, white shirt with some gold insignia,
and I flirt with qute air-hostesses. Suddenly the scene changes. I am in a hotel room. My unform hangs neatly on clothes hangers. The pilot is gone, and the room is occupied by Monique.
Knock of the attacks on the Religious Right. Yea, maybe they are anti-gay, anti-TS/TV, but the world doesn't revolve around them. Truth is the gender community is all too pushy - we gotta have it our way because everyone ELSE is wrong. With that attitude we'll never get accepted. We need to step back, rethink our approach and work on showing them that we're more than sexual characters they see with groups like Act Up. We need to show them that
there can be a place in mainstream life for us. Janette
Last year while I was on a business trip I was staying at a
hotel that had rooms facing inward, surrounding a pool and a
credenza. I was in my room getting dressed while ther was a
wedding ceremony and reception going on by the credenza. I
forgot to close the blinds, only the sheers were closed and I
forgot that with the room light on everything going on in the
room was visible from the outside. Well, one of the wedding
guests must have had a little too much to drink and he was
watching me through the window. After I finished dressing there
was a knock at the door. This guy wanted to know if I was
interested in escorting him to the wedding! I am sure that he
saw everything. I don't think that I was that good looking, or
even passable so he must have been pretty drunk.
After I brusquely dismissed him I closed the shades and
collapsed into a pile of jitters. I was waiting for the hotel
manager to knock at the door. I didn't go out for the rest of
the night.
The next day this guy recognizes me in the hotel restaurant and
said Hi! At least he had the discretion not to make a scene with
his friends. Now I am more careful about curtains in hotel
rooms.
If anyone would like to chat, please E-Mail Tisha Arwen Hayes
In my early days of 'passing', I was driving up to the "QM" when I realized I was low on gas. I pulled into a garage and decided I would use the full service
line for a change. The gas jockey - a muscular Mexican - paid far more
attention to my car than he would if the driver had obviously been a male,
making a great fuss about cleaning my windshield, etc. After, he leaned on my
drivers window and commented about my dress, how nice I looked. I was terrified
and just smiled sweetly and said as little as possible. I never found out if he
knew what I was and was interested or whether I'd 'fooled' him, but I lay awake
nights wondering what might have happened if he'd started off thinking i was a
gg but then realized I wasn't part-way through! As I said, he WAS muscular!
Here's another incident as well .....
I was in the "QM" when I got approached by a guy who knew what I was and was
obviously interested. He kept buying me drinks and lighting my cigarettes and
started caressing me. He made it clear that he wanted to go to bed with me.
Although I was then happily married and very straight, I was tempted ... not
because I wanted to go to bed with a MAN, nor because he was particularly
handsome, but simply because I had obviously turned him on so much. The feeling
of power was awesome! He kept wearing away my defenses and I ALMOST said "Yes"
but I finally chickened out. In the cold light of the morning I realized what a
narrow escape I'd had and I now have some idea - in a way most men don't - of
how "date rapes" can happen. For that, alone, I am grateful.
Chelsea Brown
On one of my 1st en femme shopping trips, my wife & I were in Phila-
delphia & were pulled over by a cop for speeding. I jumped out of the
car, presented my license & reg. & proceeded to give the cop the un-
likely excuse that we were headed to a costume party & I needed a rest-
room pronto but "obviously" couldn't use a ladies room.
The excuse was unlikely since: My wife had no costume on, it was Thursday night, I had on women's glasses & was dressed like a suburban housewife, not a party-goer & was simply too convincingly made up.
To my utter disbelief, he just shook his head, suggested I could use
the ladies room in the bar on the corner & just said to slow down,
be careful & get going! No ticket, no hassle, no problem. My wife
was sure I must have bribed him! There definitely are nice cops!
bg@internetMCI.com
Being arrested by the San Diego police for being cross-dressed.
I was stopped for J-walking and he got me on that plus cross-dressing.
It's still on the books as being illegal and this P** decided
to enforce it. He let me go on a warning for the CD, but I got a citation
for the J-walking.
Kelly Anne
w hile at a club meeting, I shared a room with a new member who was very nervous about coming out for the first time. Anyways, I dragged
her to the meeting and then after the meeting, we took her with us to
the local club to dance and have some drinks. While I was there, I was
hit upon by about five different guys which really surprised me.
Anyways, after a while in the bar, the new member who was so nervous in
the first place, loosened up a bit with a few drinks in her and started
having a good time. She soon though left saying that she was tired and she
went back to the motel to change, or so I thought.
After the bar closed and we all said our goodbyes, I ventured back to
the room, thinking that she was gone. Popping open the door to the room
thinking that no one was there, I was greeted by the new member along with
another member laying on one of the beds. I can tell you this, they weren't
exchanging makeup tips, that's for sure. I am sure that anyone with half
a brain can figure out what was happening there. Now that is what I call very
weird, indeed!
Theresa Richards
Hi Ladies, My name is Denise and I am the Vice President of the CHI DELTA MU Chapter of Tri Ess, (cdm@carroll.com). If there is anyone out here who is looking for a support group that meets monthly in northern New Jersey, contact me at the enclosed e-mail address
cdm@carroll.com
I'm 45 years old,with 4 grandchildren,married 26 years,college educated, conservative,republican,an ordained Minister & curreently pastoring a medium
size church. Oh yeah, I am also a transexual. Boy, you talk about internal
conflict! Sometimes when I am counseling folks, as I hear their problems I think
to myself, thet don't know what real problems are. I have purged and purged and
prayed and prayed, yet I find myself back on premarine, and living as feminine
as I can. Shaved all body hair, including arms,and shaped brows. I dress as
often as I can. I always wear feminine under garments, and the conflict rages on.
My wife suffers so much, she sleeps in another room because she says that I am
just too feminine for her to even sleep with. I really feel trapped.
Hi Girls! My name is Alana I live in Canada. Still not brave enough
to pop out and say "HELLO" to the World yet. Maybe I need a push
I feel Good and think I look fine. But Nervous I guess.
Can any one Help me who's been there and done that?
Let me Know soon All Bye for Now Alana.... IN Canada
One night I put on a simple dress and drove to a little town north of
the city I live in. I parked at a motel and walked about fifty feet
to sit on a bench at the edge of a lake. Later, as I returned to my
car, some guy on the second floor balcony of the motel began scream-
ing stuff about "the Lord" and "repent" and "surely going to hell".
Was he talking to me? I left, never to return to that spot again.
dixon1@ix.netcom.com
To Emily,
The book you are looking for, by Caroline Cossey, is very good and available.
Well it is in Ireland.
Yes, I think gender differences will be around in the next fifty years, because people will still look at the "package" and anyone goiong thru a gender
change will still look like a half-breed for a while until the hormones
take full effect. people will still be people no matter how many laws we
pass.
ljd@ctree.cts.com
Sure, gender differences will always be there.
Be it 50 years of 50,000 some things never change. Men shall be
men, women shall be women, and those that cross over will be
scorned! Sorry, I'm having one of those days.
ACROYEAR01@aol.com
The strangest thing that happened to me was being caught crossdressed with a neighbor kid when his mom came home unexpectedly.
Fifty years from now, as it is now, the only Gender
difference that will matter is the one within
yourself. Besides, fifty years from now if we keep
screwing up the environment, we'll all be wearing
spacesuits and no one can tell what gender you are.
Beverly
I am feeling a new wind of acceptance in the air. I am post - op but do a great deal of peer helping. My girls find that during transition if they are
open and honest with the public not only are they being accepted but they are
being encouraged for their bravery. The key is being open. Inpublic people do
not like fakers. If you cross dressing to work and the other women feel that
you are making fun of them, you will not be accepted. If on the other hand
they know that you are going through this transition, you will find that you
will be encouraged.
Any feelings or experoiences about this?
Elaine
I hope that 50 years from now gender will not matter. As a married closet crossdresser I'm only hoping.
P.S. I'm glad I've found a place to talk 8-)
Jimmina
Other Comments & Questions?- Email to:cindy@tgforum.com
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