CLICK. Hello?

Yes. Hello, I'm interested in changing the sex on my driver's...

CLICK
Hello? Hello?

Yes. Hi. I'm just your normal female woman and I notice they've

made a mistake on my driver's license ha-ha and put me down,
ha-ha wait till you get this, as a man. Can you tell me how
I can get this changed? What?... I'll have to bring my
birth certificate down with my correct sex on it so you can
verify it? Okay.

Hello? County Records Office? I'm a transexual and I...
CLICK
Hello? Hello?

Yes? County Records Office? I'm trying to get my driver's

license corrected. You see, it lists me as a man and they told
me to get it changed I have to get a copy of my birth certificate
and...

County Records? Yes. I'm just your average woman here in the

county, and yesterday, just looking through some old papers,
I noticed a couple errors on my birth certificate and I was
just kind of wondering, you know, woman-to-woman here, how I
could get them corrected... Uh huh... submit a doctor's
statement contemporaneous with my birth from the attending
physician or else a notarized statement from my current
personal physician and a second notarized statement from a
physician here in the county of origin. Thank you.

Yes. Doctor's Office? I'd like to speak with...
Please hold, Sir.
CLACK...

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Yes. I've been put on hold twice. Can I please talk to

Dr. Milton Crotchkiss?

know you've only seen me a couple of times but now that I've
started hormones and everything I'm having trouble find work
as a woman and I need to change...

trying to change my driver's license so I can get a job but
they want my birth certificate and that's still male so I
have to get that changed and to do that I'll need a
statement from you that... No, I can't take time off from
work to come in to see you... Well, first I can't because I
have no job to take time from and second because I can't
afford another $150 visit... No, I'm not trying to be
difficult... Yes, I know surgeons are very busy and they
save lives and all but... Look if you could please just see
your way clear to...

Doctor? Doctor Crotchkiss? Yes. I'm sorry I got angry, Doctor.

Look, is there anyway you could sign a statement that I'm
female so I can get my paperwork done and get a job?... Well
I know you can't be certain yet but how many men want to
take estrogen and grow bosoms?...Oh, really? Well I had no
idea... Yes, I know I still sleep with women and that's not
very normal for a transexual... No, I haven't looked very
feminine when I come for my appointments... Well, have you
ever tried walking around the city in a push-up bra,
pantyhose, 3-inch heels, and... Oh, really? Well I had no
idea... Well then you know what I... No, I wasn't aware you
wear women's panties under your smock when you operate, but
I can certainly sympathize with... What? You want me to see
what?... Who?... Is there anyway we could avoid this...
Okay. Okay. Yes. I'm sure you're looking out for my
interests. Goodbye.

Riki Wilchins