Above all else, to thine own self be true.

I started dressing, when I was a small child, probably around eight or nine. It was just idle curiosity it seemed. My mother wore different clothes than my father or I.

I found her clothes felt funny, a pleasant kind of funny feeling. Wearing her bra nevertheless was strange, I liked it. Sometimes I would ball up some towels, put them under my shirt and pretend I was a girl while I was brushing my teeth. Once my mother came in for some reason and with a look of shock on her face asked what I was doing. Her look made it obvious this was a bad thing, so I lied, saying I was making believe I was fat.

However, as fate would have it, a year later my mother came home early and caught me all dressed up (at least in the things I hadn't gotten off in time). In an attempt to embarrass me into stopping this she dragged me out into the back yard and called over the neighbor. She was more understanding than my mother and simply told me such behavior was not accepted.

Apparently my mother knew that I continued to dress secretly. When a movie came on TV called "Goodbye Charlie" in which a man dies and came back as a woman. She watched in silence, and in one part of the movie it showed her/him standing in front of a mirror saying, "I didn't need to see stag movies anymore, I can just look in the mirror." With that my mother asked me if that was how I felt? I gave no answer.

After graduating high school I went in the Navy. Not to prove my manhood as some do. It was due to the fact I couldn't afford college and I wanted to learn about computers. While in the Navy, I found it very difficult to overcome the desire to dress. Being in cramped quarters aboard ship, one had to be very careful. I came close to being discovered but, was more fortunate than some who "did" get caught. This was the first time I had ever heard that other people cross dressed.

When I finally got out of the Navy, I returned home to live. While I was away, my parents had bought a tractor trailer and were away for months at a time. I looked for work and at night I spent my time in a dress. It was then I finally picked a name. I spent days trying to decide my name. I was torn between Virginia, Barbara and Jennifer. I finally chose Jennifer.

As my courage grew, I decided to go outside for the first time while dressed. I waited till about 2AM and I just walked around the backyard. The breeze blowing through my hair and over my stockings while trying to walk in the grass in heels meant so much to me. Excitement at the (remote) possibility that someone might see me and think "Why is that WOMAN walking around in the middle of the night?" made me feel so good.

My parents sold the truck and came home about the same time I found a job. I then met Dale, a lovely girl, so feminine and pretty. I felt a little jealous of the way she took her femininity and beauty for granted. I went on one of my big "purges" while we were together, throwing out my wigs, shoes and dresses. I was sure I only needed a woman in my life. Of course I ended up buying them all again. We were together for three years when we had the discussion of marriage. I had to tell her about myself then. As it turned out, she had broken up with her old boyfriend when the police caught him in a dress. Apparently Dale was attracted to the cross dresser personality but still couldn't accept it.

I believed then it was time to strike out on my own. I bought a car and got an apartment. It was just a few rooms behind an elderly couple's house in a quiet section of town. Every night I'd sit on the back porch after I was sure they had gone to bed and watched the moon glisten off the lake.

It was thrilling to see my shadow in the moonlight and see a woman's shadow. Eventually I got up the nerve to get in my car and drive to the shore. It was a hot summer night and I drove with my window open. The traffic became stalled and I was terrified the people in the car next to me would see me. Well, they did and to my surprise they yelled "Hey Lady, can we cut in front you!". I almost cried, right then, as I waved them in front of me with my dragon lady nails glistening in the street lights. Some teenage boys actually called me a lady!

I met another girl after changing jobs several times. We started dating and again like a fool I threw out my stuff. One night in bed I "accidentally" got my arms through the straps of her bra as I took it off her and ended up with it on me. Wow, I actually had a bra on with someone else in the room and they weren't yelling at me. Not wanting to push the issue I started to take it off and to my surprise she asked me to leave it on. We joked about getting me a training bra. Well, I wasn't joking. Several weeks later she mentioned that a friend of hers used to put makeup on her boyfriend and asked if I thought that would be fun. Of course I said yes. One thing lead to another and eventually I started dressing with her a lot. Not only didn't she mind, she would buy me makeup and nightgowns.

We've been happily married for 10 years now. I've dressed "just a little" in front of my best friend. He doesn't mind. If he's coming over, I'll take off my makeup and put on pants. Leaving on my bra, blouse and earrings. He's asked that I don't dress in front of his girlfriend since she's kind of old fashion and wouldn't understand.

I've been able to grow my nails and hair pretty long without fear of losing my wife or best friend. Sometimes the gas station attendant will walk over and ask "May I help you miss?". It's funny how they get all flustered when they see I'm a man. Yet I spend the next three hours remembering the moment over and over.

I still haven't gone to a place with people or bright lights while dressed. My biggest accomplishment has been going out on the back porch in a bikini to try and finally get a bikini tan. I don't know if the neighbors know or not. They still say hi to me when I see them so if they do know apparently they don't mind. It still surprises me when people don't notice (or seem to not notice) the plucked eyebrows, bare arms, long hair and polished nails when I'm dressed as a man.

Most of the shirts I wear now are blouses I buy through mail order. Again, no one seems to notice I'm wearing a woman's blouse. Well, I buy ones that are kind of unisex. I'm not going to go to work with big pink flowers on my blouse. My biggest critic right now is my niece who likes to ask me why I have pierced ears, long nails and long hair. I tell her it's for the same reason she does, because I like it that way.

I now realize that . . . "Above all else, to thine own self be true."