Here it is July, and I'm just doing my spring cleaning now. Despite the work, it's fun to discover things I thought were permanently misplaced. And a relief to get more closet space by throwing out stuff I'll never need again. Until two weeks after it's gone.I even weeded my wallet. Discovered that my driver's licence had expired. So had my passport and I said to myself, you'll have to renew those things.
Then I found my birth certificate. It's getting to be time to renew that too.
The problem is that it does not seem to record the birth of one Janet. And none of the other documents describe her passage through life; they're all about the male impersonator that has been occupying her space and passing her off as someone very different indeed.
Yet this alone out of my life I kept
Unto myself, lest any know me quite;Spring is a time to take stock, even if you don't get around to it until summer. And summer passes very quickly. It could be said that, as lifetimes go, my summer has passed already. I'm approaching one of those birthdays that ends in a zero and that's a little intimidating. (What the heck, it's only one zero!) I'm pretty much used to the fact that there's no point even looking in the windows of shops I once dreamed of exploring. A more mature approach is called for, which basically means larger sizes, cheaper fabrics and less selection.
What to do about that birth certificate? Well, there's a lot that needs to be done if anything is done at all. What I have been doing is procrastinating. One really good technique I have for not getting to things is to make a list of all that must be done, after I've caught up on the current clutter and gotten organized. And after I've rested from the effort of uncluttering, organizing and making the list. So, with the best of intentions, here's my list.
First thing on this list is to hook up with my therapist. Plenty of time for that now because he always goes to Europe in June/July to work on his accent.
Next, start up on hormones again, but only after a full medical. I haven't had a liver function test in a while and that's important. So is quitting smoking, which I'll get to anyday now. Oh yes, I've got to go looking for another family doctor. Maybe I'll find someone who knows something about T*'s, and cares. An exercise program wouldn't hurt, but this is a tough time of year to pretend that I don't like strawberry shortcake.
New eyeglasses. A nice tuck around the old eyes would be nice. Dig out those green-tinted contacts. Teeth too. I know where they are, but they could use some work. Electrolysis. Two hundred hours should do it and I can't wait to get started :) New wardrobe, of course. Summer or fall? This is starting to turn into a lot of work. But then I've put it off too long already, haven't I?
what's beyond logic happens beneath will;
nor can these moments be translated:Still, there's something to be said for procrastination. Fully half of all problems solve themselves anyway, so there's no point in being too hasty. And if transgendered issues are not in that category, think of all the time, trouble and expense I've saved. That's some compensation for seeing the wrong face in the mirror every morning, having to shave it, putting on the wrong clothes and going out into a world that actually has little or no idea who I am at all. Let's just say that procrastination has solved everybody else's problems. Or, more accurately, it presented them with a different set of problems since very few have had any opportunity to understand the real one. Someday I simply must get around to solving my own problem for myself.
In fact, I'll start right now . . . by making another list.
All this may suggest to you that I have some tendency to procrastinate. I do not have a tendency ... I have a goddess-given gift! I am so gifted that the American Board of Certified Procrastinators has asked me lecture on the subject at a university to be named later. Well, it wasn't a very firm offer: they said they'd get back to me. Meanwhile, I have my lists to work on . . . . . .
Oh, I almost forgot. I know you were wondering. I really do look exactly like the picture at the top of this page. IN MY DREAMS!