So, "Texan beauty " Jerry Jagger is about to become a mum again at 41. Apparently she's doing it to make sure wildman Mick stays at home and stops going off and shagging so many young babes.
Sweetie you've got a lot to learn. Let's look at the facts. In around eight months time you will be the size of a whale, your tits will look like balloons, and you'll be having problems with piles. Two months later and you'll be leaking milk all over the show, having around 2 hours sleep a night, and have some very nasty stretch marks. Is this really the sort of behaviour that is likely to keep a roving Romeo firmly at home? Being up the duff is not the answer my dear. | |||
|
Still, too late now. Which is presumably what the Clara Hadaj, the gun-toting drama at the centre of a hospital must be thinking to herself this week.
Clara, according to the Daily Star, was so sick of the way Whipps Cross Hospital treated her 83 year old mum when she broke her collarbone, that she decided to pop into casualty and have a word. Unfortunately she didn't exactly do it in a calm way. Nope, she grabbed a gun, pointed it at the head of the NHS manager on duty and screamed at her. She then proceeded to hold the manager at gunpoint for two hours as armed police surrounded the hospital and top negotiators were drafted in. |
Meanwhile all patients, including ex-Eastenders star Daniella Westbrook, who was in the hospital over an 'allergy' (sure Sweetie sure) all had to evacuate the place in case the beserk old dear decided to shoot her way through the wards.
 Atta girl. That's the spirit.
| ||
| None of this nanby panbying about. Unlike most of the nationals who got their knickers in a twist this week in advice column in a Tatler article. Entitled '25 things to have done by the time you are 18' the article suggested you 'tried soft drugs. Spent the night in a police cell. Got laid. Had a pregnancy scare . Taken a secret trip abroad without your parents knowing.' All of which is sterling advice and I can't quite understand the puritanical nonsense from the columnists in the papers this week. Any teenager worth their salt should also have course been up to 60 a day John Player Specials, and slept with someone for a bet too, but hell, it's good to see Tatler moving with the times so well. | |||
|
Which is more than can be said for Bill Waddington, the actor who plays Percy Sugden on Coronation Street. Bill, 81, vowed this week to walk out on the soap claiming the storylines were too racy. Bill sweetie get it in perspective. Just because our Kev's decided to get his legover with Natalie, the bit of rough from his office, it hardly means the show is a festering mass of sex. Look at Brookie - bit of lesbian interest, a smattering of brotherly incest. Presumably old Percy's only got the hump because he's suddenly realised he's the only one not in the sack.
The fragrant Jerry, with her ways of keep her Rolling Stone rolling in her direction should perhaps take note.
|
|||
 | |||
Still it's interesting to see what caused all this mess in the first place. Kev only went off for a shag because his on-screen wife was off having a baby and the screenwriters clearly didn't want the problem of forcing a massive bump on the screens for the next few months.