The Room!

Poor old Stoney Blokes

Media slag
good and improper

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od it. You get your top designer to do a lovely animation of the Room 'r' playing keepy-uppy with a football in perfect time for the FA Cup Final, and then, when you come to put it on the CD-Rom, you get told it's for the August issue. I mean, August! Before you know it the new season will be starting. So, I can forget all that funny stuff I was gonna write about how Chelsea are the seed of Satan because David Mellor supports them, and get on with telling about what's on this CD-Rom version of the Room.

Well, there are loads of new Stoney Blokes episodes, and yes, they are as dull as all the rest. Less dull is the fact that Shazza gets stuck into sex this week in Media Slag, where you can find out that Kathy Lloyd seems to quite like men and rubber sheets (apparently it's mutual) among other things. Of course, it's quite hard being a topical review of the tabloids when you're over two months out of date, but then, tabloids always says the same sorts of things, don't they?

On a vaguely more serious note, we've got an interview with Simon Grice, who spent a few years with Tim Berners-Lee (he practically invented the Web, sheesh, don't you know ANYTHING?) at CERN, and what he doesn't know about the Web is probably false. And on a much more serious note, please give your support to Godfrey Tidmarsh, our new horoscope writer since the terrible demise of Janet Planet. He's our third astrologer since the New Year and it's beginning to look like the Room is under some sort of a hex. Let us pray that Godfrey's down to earth and plain-speaking attitude will save him from this dreadful curse. Unless he turns out to be rubbish like the last two, of course.

So, that's it then. Get stuck in and enjoy the site. There's plenty to explore, even before you go online and if you do like it, http://room.vnu.co.uk/room is even better.

Ben