LIBRA September 24 - October 23Librans tend to be balanced to the point of blandness. The coming month proves trying for any Libran to whom the expression of opinions is anathema. At work, a senior seeks your thoughts; give them frankly and without fear. At home, a spouse brings to a head 'issues' bubbling for too long between you; again, it will benefit you both to know your mind and then speak it. Attempt to last a day without once saying: 'but on the other hand', 'equally' or 'I don't know'. The whole world 'doesn't know', Libra; the future belongs to those who jolly well do!
SCORPIO October 24 - November 22Approaches to violence are easier felt than defined. Pacifism is clearly quite wretched, yet one can't go about causing mayhem without some kind of ethical framework. Scorpios stare violence in the eye this month; Mars is clear on that. My advice is to keep a weather eye open, and, if something doesn't smell right, hand out a thrashing and ask questions later. There will always be some Scandinavian, or a Trot in a casual jacket, to say you could have shared a bowl of rice and 'talked it out'. Scorpios know the world is not like that. Check garden hoses for leaks.
SAGITTARIUS November 23 - December 21No one pretends illness is easy to bear. Your esteemed seer has himself has gone toe-to-toe with a jippy prostate on more than one occasion, so needs no sermons on withstanding pain. Sadly, a failing common to many Sagittarians is the tendency to bleat like a frail girl when Mr Poorly calls. The sun in your seventh sector portends suffering, with special reference to family-parts. Sympathy will run short if your sheet-twisting, cow-in-labour histrionics are witnessed again. Try and see pain as a test, and, for pity's sake, try and break a lifetime's habit and pass it.
CAPRICORN December 22 - January 20Dependency is a disease, insidious and disabling as syphilis and just as easy to catch. No amount of 'encounter groups', 'massage' or 'Chinese twig therapy' will teach flimsy-hearted Capricorns to stand on their own two feet, even though Saturn's influence means next month is decisive for a sign for whom self-help means only 'cafeteria'. By all means leave that paramour, forgo those cigarettes, shed those pounds, grieve for that loved one; but do please get on and do it, instead of endlessly prattling about how hard it is. If it were not, do you think it would be worth doing?
AQUARIUS January 21 - February 19Quite the 'swinging' Aquarian, aren't we? The bohemian gal, with your sporty German saloon, your flat in the ethnic district, your Turkish rugs, French cigarettes, Italian clothes and American 'situation-comedies'. Terribly eclectic, I'm sure, but hardly patriotic. What is it about this country that so repels you? The sense of fair play, the mild climate, the native ingenuity, instinctive kindness or generous welfare system? Neptune bodes ill for the Aquarian looking too far from home, but looks kindly on custard, wellingtons, brass bands and a chap called Lawrence
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PISCES February 20 - March 20This whole prophesying business can sometimes be an absolute brute to fathom. Pisceans will have to bear with me here, I'm afraid. Either I have my special astral 'felt' tips all of a muddle or absolute rank calamity beckons. It looks like a dying pet, a burst sewer beneath property, some kind of bailiff, a collision involving a red motor-cycle and a ruddy nightmare in the bedroom department. Oh no; as you were. My mistake. Looking at the whole shooting-match upside down. Many apologies. No, everything looks fine really. Not much happening at all.
