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"I've got through 21 years without it, and it's not that I haven't had offers," said Marianne Young, described in The Guardian this week as 'a blonde, bright and articulate young woman.'
I'd quibble on the bright bit. Marianne has just taken a pledge to keep her virginity until her wedding day. "I think I'm a lot more liberated in choosing not to have sex," she says naively. There are, I note with despair, half a million chaste teens who have signed up to this 'True Love Waits' (waits for what? Until you've finished your glass of gin?) society in the US, and the damn thing's spreading, even if its members aren't. There are now 76 countries where the virgins can hang out.
The right sort of spirit comes from Page Three Girl Kathy Lloyd who posed naked in The Star last Monday to tell us that neither her reputation or her hymen are intact. "All my friends think I'm a pervert but give me a bottle of baby oil and a rubber sheets and I'm happy," she purred. "I like men, men, men and more men."
Still think you're getting the most fun out of life Marianne dear? | |||
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More encouraging behaviour came from the five "busty beauties" as The Star put it, who all decided to strip down to their G-strings and run out into the middle of Premier League football matches last weekend.
The girls had been paid รบ3,000 each by Richard Branson and men's mag Loaded to show off their Premier points, but the bit that didn't make the papers was that it all went horribly wrong for one of them. As The Sun and The Star called on their readers to ring in with the girls' identity it is odd that no calls came from the South Yorkshire police who would have found one of the girls languishing in their cells. |
Antonia Moore, the former Benny Hill girl, better known as Miss Whiplash for her antics with a 15ft whip and a Tory MP had run out into the middle of the Sheffield Wednesday game. Unfortunately for Miss Moore, whilst her girl pals were laughingly escorted off the pitch, she unfortunately found herself banged up in a cell and charged with invading the pitch.
Still that's showbiz. | ||
 Which is presumably what Miss Debbie Curry was hoping the punters would think when she posed inexplicably in The Mirror this week with two fried eggs on her breasts.
Presumably this was again to remind us that her sole claim to fame is her mother MP Edwina Curry - who is best known for her salmonella-in-eggs claims nine years ago. Certainly Miss Curry Jnr is not famed for her singing talents. Her first single may be called You Can Do Magic, but she clearly can't. Her debut concert at the Clapham Grand in South London had to be cancelled when only four people turned up. | |||
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Talking of false hopes, I was gutted to find myself mislead by a splendid looking ad nestling in the back pages of The Sun this week.
"Plumber, pipefitter and mates' ran the headline - promising an interesting distraction from the daily dalliances with the milkman. Sadly it was not to be. Turned out to be a recruitment ad for a plumbing contract in Manchester. | |||
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Something I also hope turns out not to be, are all the claims this week about Paula Yates. I've always had a sneaking admiration for the old gal, ever since she lured Michael Hutchence away from the fragrant supermodel Helena, with what I can only assume was a series of impressive bedroom acrobatics.
I suspect this was all the wishful thinking of a senile old man. After all Paula's mother Heller Toren was once voted the most beautiful woman in the world, and, according to her account only met Mr Green one month before Paula's birth. Opportunity may well have knocked for the pair, but, not, I suspect, in time to produce Paula. Still things could be worse for Paula. One rumour doing the grapevine in Wapping is that police busted her Chelsea pad last week and found evidence of Cocaine, Heroin and Ecstacy. The other kids - Fifi Trixibelle, and Heavenly Harani were also at home, I hear.
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For God's sake. All that hard work we did on sexual liberation in the sixties. All that effort to make sure we no longer had to grit our teeth through 50 years of hell with some clueless wanker. All that scientific research on finding a cure for crabs. Don't let the Yanks throw it back in our faces now.
In an unlikely claim in the News of the World, it seems Opportunity Knocks star Hughie Green always claimed he fathered Paula, and wanted the details to slip out after his death.