You must be the only man ever to take a Whitney Houston song seriously, Taurus.

You've learnt to love yourself, the greatest love of all, right? Wrong, the idea is self-respect, not self-adoration; Venus' aspect with Pluto means if your mirror had a throat, your tongue would be down it.

A year in the gym might have given you bicep-veins like overfed earthworms and arse-cheeks so hard it hurts to sit down, but you still can't talk to women who don't want to jump your bones or respect those that do.

Things might change after the 21st, but until then you will breathe the breath of a sickly horse.

Your lucky windows are bay.