88 guidelines for group behaviour

The Kerista Commune in California (described in the item above) have published a booklet with their 88 'behavioural and attitudinal guidelines' for members of their commune to follow - guidelines that were 'plainly agreed upon and clearly understood by us all,' and which allowed them to 'create a communal scene and a growth process that really work.'

'Clarity on these issues is fundamental to healthier, happier relationships'

They encourage others to examine each one of these guidelines and to decide which to include as a criterion in friendships, or to 'make up your own contract to suit your own private predilections.' Their premiss is that clarity on such issues is fundamental to healthier, happier relationships. Here is an adapted selection from some of the more intriguing guidelines:

- Non-Interference in Art: The project originator has the right to maintain control over the project as others join her/him and want to turn it into a different sort of thing than she/he had in mind. This applies to originating a social activity or outing, a household space, a best friend cluster, a discussion group, a special interest group, a theatrical activity and so forth.
- Friendship Model: This model involves recognition of distinct 'relationship rings', each representing a different level of intimacy and involvement. All relationships are defined and clearly articulated in terms of how and where they fit into this model, so that people do not try to be either closer to or more distant from each other than they really are in objective reality. If you are in a relationship ring which you find too intense, move back (meeting less often for instance). If you'd like to get closer to someone, bring it up for mutual evaluation.
- No Unconditional Relationships: The whole point of a social contract is to build conditional relationships! A breach of the conditions of any relationship is grounds for some type of reaction or re-evaluation of the relationship. Conditionality is basic to integrity and healthy emotions.
- Overwhelming Evidence: When a vote or opinion goes unanimously against the way you are voting, go along with the vote cheerfully, giving the overwhelming opinion of everybody else involved due respect, rather than remaining stodgy and stubborn.

See previous item for Kerista Commune's address. The booklet is free (US$1 postage) or there is a computer version on a Mac floppy disk (in HyperCard) for US$10.

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