The Friendship Trust

Margie McGregor

There are many organisations concerned with the problems of teenagers who could add to the effectiveness of their work if they focused on the following proven idea:

'The simplest remedy for a teenager with problems is if he or she is encouraged to choose and develop a hobby or creative interest, by an adult who is felt to be a friend'

The simplest remedy for a teenager with problems is if he or she is encouraged to choose and develop a hobby or creative interest, by an adult who is felt to be a friend.

The Friendship Trust (registered charity No. 290186) was formed to spread this idea and to encourage friends outside the family to offer at least an hour of their time, with a view to helping the child or teenager reinforce their personal identity by finding their hidden abilities through a self-chosen hobby or interest. Where no such trusted family friend is available, it is intended that families anywhere in the UK should have a link through the Friendship Trust with caring adults in their community. In the last nine years, over 500 adults and 600 children and teenagers in Oxfordshire have been involved with this scheme. For instance:

Ben was 16 years old. He had been through a very disturbed childhood with many moves. He became aggressive at school, in the street and at home.

When asked by Mary, a friend of the family, what interest he would like to share with an adult, he said he had always wanted to be a blacksmith. Mary took it upon herself to go through the yellow pages and to ring several blacksmiths. One of these is Ted, who agreed Ben could work alongside him each Saturday morning.

Although this was very much like 'work experience', in fact it was for Ben far more personal than that. Ted and his family just accepted Ben as another member of their unit. Ben's behaviour changed. His parents and teachers were able to talk about his new interest instead of the usual angry exchanges.

'Mary took it upon herself to go through the yellow pages and to ring several blacksmiths. One of these is Ted, who agreed Ben could work alongside him each Saturday morning'

Through my own experience as a parent, I know it is impossible at times to inspire our own children. They are often emotionally too close and too dependent on us even to listen to us if they are going through a personal or family crisis. Adults need to recognise this and to seek an adult friend whom they completely trust, who can encourage the youngster's creativity (standards of craftsmanship are not important).

Our purpose is to rely less on professionals and more on our personal networks. Even an hour spent by a teenager chatting to an adult they feel is a friend can have a massive effect, with an over-night change in a teenager's feelings of self-worth and respect for others. Parents and carers feel very supported.

The Prince's Trust, Northmoor Trust and others are supporting the Friendship Trust for three years for its administrative costs, and a nationwide network of helpers is being established, and many adults' lives have been reestablished because of their involvement in helping with this idea.

We are willing to talk to organisations if a fee and travelling expenses can be met. But many individuals within organisations and potential adult friends could take the idea forward without further help from us, if they could just understand its simplicity.

Margie McGregor, The Friendship Trust, Hordley House, Wootton, Woodstock, Oxon. OX20 1EP (tel 0993 812765).

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