Choosing a Counsellor

Val Randall

If you are not familiar with the counselling world how do you know what counselling is? How do you know whether a therapist is good - and how do you know what sort of therapy they practise ? What can you expect if you telephone one of these people?

Some of the ways through the maze from the starting point of your problem to working with someone else who will be dedicated to helping you resolve it are outlined below.

Firstly ask around. Often someone in a caring profession such as a health visitor knows a counsellor or knows who is good in the field of counselling or massage. Generally good practitioners of any sort are busy because they have satisfied customers who refer their friends and colleagues as well. Charismatic people may attract lots more clients than quieter ones but the quality of what they offer may be no better. If you talk to someone who is offering therapy listen carefully to the way they describe what they do. If they seem to be doing a hard selling job you might be suspicious whether they need you more than you need them. If they speak with clear authority about what they do and encourage questions this is a good sign. It is perfectly in order to ask a counsellor, body worker, psychotherapist questions about their training, experience, qualifications how they monitor their work, codes of practice etc.

Training to work as one of these practioners can take up to 5 years. Some people have completed more than one sort of training and so they may have a lot of years of training experience. Usually people are happy to tell you in brief what their training covers if you are interested.

Qualifications are seemingly more obvious and some practitioners appear on registers for psychotherapists, counsellors etc. However qualifications do not always equate with experience. For example some counsellors are accredited by recognised counselling courses when they complete the course. Other very experienced counsellors may have trained before courses were recognised, and may not have sought individual accreditation for themselves from an accrediting body such as the British Association for Counselling.

Good practitioners monitor their work by having a more senior practioner experience or watch them working in massage, or by discussing their casework with colleagues or supervisors. In this way they ensure they do not get stale, or into stuck patterns or blind spots, in their work. For psychotherapists and counsellors it is unethical to work without regular supervision or consultation. Codes of practice vary depending on what sort of therapy is offered. Someone who offers massage or aromatherapy would probably have no conflict in working with friends and colleagues. Counsellors and psychotherapists do not take on friends as clients because of the conflict in boundaries and the complex tranference issues that arise. Some will not take on another family member of the client such as a sister into individual therapy. A massage therapist on the other hand would not hesitate to see one of their clientÆs sisters. Generally the more the therapy leans towards psychotherapy, the stricter the code of practice and boundaries for very good reasons. As a general rule when looking for a practitioner for individual, or couple, psychotherapy, choose someone who you do not know and are not likely to get into a different relationship with at the same time. The therapist needs to be able to support, challenge and work with whatever the client brings to the therapy room without being distracted and inhibited by other experience of the client in a different context and other relationship. This formal code is for the benefit of the client although it may seem rather strict, and in my time as a Counsellor, Gestalt therapist and Supervisor, I have come to value it more as I have seen the results when therapists have not kept to them or have allowed clients to overstep their boundaries into a different relationship. Some codes of practice state that therapists should not form any other friendship with ex-clients until a stated number of years after the end of therapy. This again is to protect the client from being exploited in an unequal relationship.

Co-Counselling is a totally different arrangement where right from the beginning two people agree to work as counsellors for each other. They divide the time equally and are alternately client and counsellor. It can work very well with people of similar experience and motivation to make it work.

There are many different paths to wholeness. Bodywork may shift a lot of emotional problems. Psychotherapy may bring about physical changes in the body. It is not worthwhile continuing with a therapy you really have an aversion for even if the therapist is very skilled. Far better to find another way of working where you can progress more easily. Similarly if the therapy is comfortable but is not facing you with any challenges look for a more challenging therapist or a different way. At any time a client should be able to raise with their therapist any dissatisfactions, grumbles, uncertainties, requests for information. It may be better to stay with the same therapy and make your needs known so that changes may happen within it.

Finally if you are dissatisfied with your therapy and decide to leave, try if you can to state your reasons clearly to the practitioner concerned, so that the ending can be as complete as possible. In this way you will not be left with lots of unfinished business. And if your dissatisfaction is valid the practitioner will have an opportunity to learn from you. All practitioners learn from their clients in any case, not only from the rewarding experiences we have with them., but also from the difficult ones which stretch us and shake us and sharpen our practice.