This file is ShareRight 1992 by Jerod Pore (email jerod23@well.sf.ca.us), you may reproduce it however and as often as you like as long as this sentence is included. Send your zines to FactSheet Five 1800 Market St. San Francisco CA 94102 These are zines that fall into a variety of categories, but I'm reviewing them now for the benefit of those who have subscribed to the update flavor of FactSheet Five - Electric. For laughs, I've attempted to alphabetize the zines by title. I'm totally arbitrary about words like "the." Subscribers to both flavors of F5-E will see these reviews scattered amongst other files. Sorry this one is so short, but Seth needed some reviews fast and we're trying some new software and I got some other excuses, but you're probably bored enough as it is. Bob of _Second Guess_ zine was kind enough to send me the zine and muzak reviews from SG #5. This time I didn't lose them, loser that I am. So I'm able to pad this file to something reasonable. Let's start with some poetry zines. I'm most indebted to Ida Libido for reviewing these zines, as I would give them bad reviews just for containing nauseating amounts of poetry. %Title: CitiVoice A Bay Area Poetry Magazine Vol. 4, fall 1992 The Radioactive Poets %Descr: Excellent tiny collection that does a wonderful job of capturing the eclectic consciousness, intelligence and diversity of some of San Francisco's and the Bay Area active, living poets, "open to good poetry from any style or school" says publisher Mel Thompson, a night- time security guard and poet. Supported by advertising, subscriptions and donations. %Info: Free, $5/1-year subscription; SASE to CitiVoice/Mel Thompson Publishing Company, 1515 Gough #1, San Francisco, CA 94109, mini. %Title: Dream Protocols by Lee Ballentine, illustrations by Richard Kadrey %Descr: Masturbatory musings by apparently established and celebrated local Bay Area poet. Martini-dry, academic, contrived, mechanical poems full of erudite references and titles that scale the heights of pretentious irrelevance attempting (but failing miserably) to exploit the relevant. Semi-famous Bay Area collage artist Richard Kadrey's illustrations are pedestrian here at best. For hardcore ivory-tower pederasts only. %Info: $9.95 trade paperback, Talisman, Box 321, Beech Grove, IN 46107, 95 pps. %Title: Feh! A Journal of Odious Poetry, #13, Aug. '92 %Descr: Well-executed, typeset 100% poetry zine with title that I suspect is some Yiddish euphemism for bodily essences and other excreta as many of the unusual and wonderful poems here pay homage to various and sundry waste matter and other biological stigmata; highly entertaining letters section, wickedly amusing editorial from editors Simeon Stylite & Morgana Malatesta; adorned with whimsical original black & white line art. %Info: $5/3 issues, 143 Second Ave., #603, New York, NY 10003, 24 pps, 1/2 legal. %Title: Late Knocking, Vol. V, #2, '92 %Descr: Over-blown, obese collection of poems and short prose pieces by poets and writers from all-over. Interspersed with pen and ink drawings and decorative clip art. Serious, stuffy, stilted scribblings by what appears to be college creative-writing course types; velo-bound, typeset and funded by grants. %Info: SASE Harford Poetry Society, POB 336, Forest Hill, MD 21050 49 pps. digest. %Title: Poked With Sticks #5, 8/15/92 %Descr: Energetic pastiche of socially conscious poetry and second/third generation xeroxed photo-art collages. Warning: some pieces are done in such miniscule point sizes that they are hard to decipher but surprisingly worth the effort. Much of this writing is gritty, gutsy, viscerally startling, offering up exciting stream-of- consciousness activist rants and jarring imagery which give this powerful political punch. Color postcard stock paper cover. %Info: $3.00 to 3964 Homewood, Toledo, OH 43612, 44 pps., digest %Title: Police State by D.S. Black, Spring, 92 %Descr: Emotionally charged poetry, art and photographs of outrage, stemming from, and inspired by, post-Rodney King constitutional violations in our own fair city of San Francisco as perpetuated by ex- (fired) police chief Dick Hongisto and former police chief-turned-mayor Frank Jordan. Incinerating epiphanies capture the rage with depressing and artful accuracy. %Info: SASE to Atlantis Express, 537 Jones St., #9156, San Francisco, CA 94102. 11 pps, digest. %Title: Ransom Street Oct. '92 issue %Descr: A quality selection of psychosexual poetic utterances, free- flowing pen & ink Munchian-style nudes, manually-typed, cut-and-pasted short fiction, photography, free and paid space ads. %Info: 28 pps; 1/2 legal; free; $5/1-year subscription; 323 McMasters St., Chapel Hill, NC 27516. Now, back to our regularly scheduled zine reviews by jerod23. %Title: Aphasia Volume 1 Issue 1 %Descr: One piece, "Sledgehammer Diary" by Adam Fox is a truly awesome tale of desperation, obsession and the inability to cope with life after prison. Fortunately, it is the longest piece in this zine. The rest is insipid poetry, dumb collages and stupid ruminations on coping as a college student. %Info: $2.85 each to Todd Wardrope PO Box 14274 Dinkytown Station 1311 S.E. 4th Street Minneapolis MN 55414-0274 50 pages, digest. %Title: Atheist Network Journal Volume Two Issue 9 %Descr: Rather dry coverage of important issues padded with much self- promotion. How the election of President Bill is supposedly good news for atheists and most everyone else with a functioning brain. Praise for Sinead O'Connor's ripping up a pope picture. Mildly humorous accounts of recent religious stupidity, such as the Korean Rapture fiasco and the Vatican finally admitting that Galileo was right; as well as the account of a Minnesota atheist who tried to get the Bible removed from public school libraries on the grounds of violence and obsenity. %Info: $1.00 each(?) to Atheist Network PO Box 130898 Houston TX 77219 8 pages, standard. %Title: Bad Karma Issue 2 %Descr: Illegible scrawls and lots of black xerox toner. Worst of all, they demand their stamps back. %Info: Free, as far as I can tell, from Aura 797 Woseley Winnepeg MB R3G 1C7 12 pages, digest. %Title: California Entertainment Review April 1992 %Descr: Reviews of quintessential California-type entertainment: Flaming Carrot comix; Motorhead and McCartney; cyberpunk, steampunk, roncknroll and vampire books. Chilling exerpt from "Consciousness Explianed" on a true account of anti-rock mind control. %Info: SASE to A.P. MacDonald Box 561 Concord CA 94522-0561 4 pages, standard email angus@well.sf.ca.us %Title: Cyber-Psycho's A.O.D. (R) Issue 2 %Descr: For the lovers of the cyberpunk soundtrack. Jasmine and crew interview The Electric Hellfire Club, Godflesh, Front Line Assembly and Pamela Z. There's also profiles of Voodoo and The Cutthroat Empire. Comix, including an extremely psychotic mini "The Leather Pope," reviews and fiction. The fiction pieces, while well-executed, are stuck in the typical deathmetalhorrordevilslasher genre. Excellent Geiger does grafitti cover art. %Info: $4.00 each to Jasmine Sailing PO Box 581 Denver CO 80201 40 pages standard + 14 page mini %Title: The Drood Review of Mystery Volume XII Number 7 %Descr: Detailed and capsule reviews of mystery novels by people who seem to live for the next release of another good book. "The phrase 'hardboiled' gets tossed around as much as a Presidential candidate's reputation, used to describe any protagonist who comes within staggering distance of a trenchcoat or taking a walk in the night." 26 novels are reviewed, and information on over a hundred more titles is provided. %Info: $2.00 each to The Drood Review Box 1293 Brookline MA 02146 16 pages, standard. %Title: Famous Hardcore of Punkland Number 7 %Descr: This is supposed to be new, but the most recent smelling crap was a page about the state of pro football in 1991. Interviews with The Hates, Boom and the Legion of Doom, The Wretched Ones and Agnostic Front, padded with bad reprints of gig photos and related data that date the interviews to 1989 and 1990. Reviews of about three years worth of punkrock records and tapes. %Info: $1.25 each to Craig Hill 220 Standish #1 Redwood City CA 94063 32 pages, standard. %Title: Flux Issue 2 %Descr: Another cyberspace/zine crossover. Robert offers tips on starting your own BBS, and navigating through Usenet and The Internet. Plus Twisted Image, Hakim Bey on the end of the world and garage VR from Mondo 2000. Layout and multicolored paper is strongly reminiscent of _The Silicon Womb_. I have one complaint, the instaglossy plasticine over the front and back covers is very toxic feeling. %Info: $2.00 each to Robert Derek 200 Market St. #A-21 Lowell MA 01852 20 pages standard. email rderek@world.std.com or fluxu8@well.sf.ca.us %Title: Folk-Michel August 1992 %Descr: German zine about folk music. Mainly, but not exclusivley lame middle-aged white people like Fairport Convention who are profiled in this issue. Also covered is the traditional music of North American Indians, polka and klezmer music. %Info: 4 DM each to Folk-Michel Postfach 30 08 52 5300 Bonn 3 52 pages, A4. %Title: Franklin's World Sentinel Volume 6 Number 3 %Descr: B.L. Franklin is in a world of his own. He talks to God, and God talks back. Unlike most people who have these sorts of conversations, and write them down for publication, Mr. Franklin is full of compassion and understanding. True, he is anti-abortion, but he doesn't condemn the people, just the procedure. He's located the New Jerusalem at a ski resort in Colorado, where Saint Ryan White will sit at the Loard's (his spelling) right hand. He's really big on gay rights, "Remember, simple-minded earthlings (American Politicians), there are twice as many queers in the world as there are Americans..." He also offers brain research as the key to an AIDS cure, along with God's sincerest apologies for the creation of HIV. This is probably the gentlest rant from kookdom. %Info: $1.00 each to B.L. Franklin 58 West Ferry #7 Lexington Place Detroit MI 48202 10 pages, standard. %Title: The Gate Volume 8 Number 3 %Descr: A well done zine of Fortean and related phenomenae. An interesting speculation on the extraterrestrial origin of "The Man in the Iron Mask." Near death experiences that are frightening instead of peaceful, the search for Rudolph Hess' ghost, strange things that have fallen from the sky, the soldiers who went A.W.O.L. on the advice of a Ouija board, UFO sightings, contactee support groups and a variety of other similar eventss. Plus a page of related zines. %Info: $2.00 each to The Gate PO Box 43516 Richmond Heights OH 44143 20 pages, digest. %Title: Good Day Sunshine Number 67 %Descr: Some people just don't give up. It's a Beatles fanzine. And they cover, with maniacal and sometimes illegible fanish hyperbole, the latest bootlegs, re-issues, tours, films and books about and activities of anyone with the remotest connection to a band that hasn't performed in almost 30 years. GDS has the *really* crucial information, like what the son of their tailor is doing these days and how much a home movie of a vacation in Greece sold for at an auction. %Info: $3.00 each to Liverpool Productions 397 Edgewood Ave. New Have CT 06511-4013 72 pages, standard. %Title: It's a Tabloid World Issue 1 %Descr: Generic punk zine from New York. Stupid question by-mail interviews with Sockeye and Lawnmower Deth. OK, they called Sockeye on the phone, but the interview reads like it was done by mail. Reviews and reprints from 'bloids and pix of Madonna nekkid. %Info: $1.00 each to John Beatty 529 W. Franklin St. Horseheads NY 14845 24 pages, digest. %Title: MLBD Newsletter Volume XIV Number 4 %Descr: Reviews of books published in India. What makes this little review zine unique is that the reviews are in the same language as the book. So English language books are reviewed in English, Hindi books in Hindi and so on. The subjects of the English language books are Art, Religion, Mysticism and History. Plus titles to be published and news items, such as the "Discovery of an old coin" and "Sanskrit teacher training camp." %Info: $10.00 a year to Motilal Banarsidss Bungalow Road Jawahar Nagar Delhi 110 007 16 pages, A5 %Title: The Neon News Number 11 %Descr: A zine by and for the crafters of neon signs. This issue includes a somewhat amusing tale of a neon sign maker getting burned by a con artist. Plus how a neon art school gets accredited, European powder-coating techniques, translated from Dutch, building your own electronic choke, dumpster diving for parts and other assorted tips and techniques on the craft. %Info: $6.00 each to The Neon News PO Box 668 Volcano HI 96785 16 pages, standard. %Title: New World Odour Issues 1 & 2 %Descr: Generic punk zine from New Zealand. Darren worships Alternative Tentacles bands, especially Alice Donut. Reprints stuff from MRR, Threat By Example and ancient Sex Pistols newsclips. Collages, poetry and pleas for penpals. Each issue has one page on the scene in Christchurch. %Info: $2.00 each to Darren Kirk 4 Grimseys Road Redwood Christchurch 5 24 pages, A4. %Title: The New Philistine Number 7 %Descr: The publisher promises that "All issues taken together will amount to a complete repudiation of contemporary American literature." This issue, at least, is a great rant about John Updike's narcissism and cluelessness. Anton Chekov is also reamed, but I fail to understand his contribution to American Literature. %Info: SASE to K. Wenclas 5440 Cass #1006 Detroit MI 48202 6 pages, standard. %Title: Ox Number 12 %Descr: German language punkrock tabloid with recipies(?!?) I guess they're veggie. News and somebody's vacation in Australia. Interviews with members of SHARP (Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice), Poison Idea, Articles of Faith, The Nation of Ulyesses, Boxhamsters, Misery L.C. and Nursery Crimes. Tons of reviews of comix, music and zines. Comes with 7-inch vinyl of generic punkrock bands. %Info: 5 DM each to Joachim Hiller Weg 5 4300 Essen 14 36 pages, tabloid. %Title: Die Rote Zora Number 2 %Descr: Another German language punkrock zine, but this one is handwritten! Aaargh. No way in hell can I decipher it. The inhalt promises interviews with The Plot, Inside Out, Seek, Kin@ and UFD. Also comix, concert, zine and record reviews, recipies and other stuff. %Info: 2 DM each to Ines Baumann Junghof 3 6719 Altleiningen 72 pages, cut-in-half A4. %Title: Second Guess Issues 3 & 4 %Descr: Pranks and scams, many of which are restricted to Reno, but this is a local punk zine. I'm especially curious about getting an hour on a parking meter by filing one end of a penny. City government scams the populace once again. Band interviews that transcend the typical, such as the subject getting knifed at a gig, or the influence of bad local radio, or Mykel Board on being Mykel Board. A road trip to New York and DC where extremely rude security guards protect "boring, old, white, fat assholes who do nothing but sit on their butts and talk to one another all day while they take turns behind a lectern speaking worthless drivel into a microphone." Bob has been kind enough to email me his zine reviews, and I was stooopid enough to loose them the first time. You'll find his reviews after mine. %Info: $2.00 (cash or stamps) each to Second Guess PO Box 9382 Reno NV 89507 28 and 40 pages, digest email bobc@cs.unr.edu %Title: Shavertron Number 29 %Descr: For those who don't know: Richard Shaver was one of the great kooks of the fifties. He synthesized the popular myths of UFOs, Atlantis and the Hollow Earth into a unified myth known as the Shaver Mystery. The Hollow Earth was populated by rogue Atlanteans known as Deros that piloted UFOs to abduct humans for unknowable, yet frightening reasons. Shaver wasn't just a garden variety kook. His ideas then had the same impact as Striber's do today, a lot of people were convinced that Shaver was on to something. Some people still believe, and this is the zine for the true belivers, and one has to be somewhat versed in both the Shaver Mystery and the sordid tale of it's inception and publicity to fully appreciate all the references in this zine. Entrances to the Hollow Earth, Shaver's comments about TV, MJ-12 and the CIA, Tesla and assorted Forteana. %Info: $5.00 AND an SASE each to Richard Toronto PO Box 5237 Napa CA 94581 44 pages, digest. %Title: The Tempatation of St. Anthony Numbers 53-56 %Descr: I utterly flubbed the ordering information for this one last time. It's still once-a-week, in-the-mail I Ching. 'In the future, _Wheel of Fortune_ will be played in Morse Code. "I'd like a dot, Pat." "Is there...A dot?"' Meditate on *that*. Or, "Shoot, I'd settle for just knowing what it feels like to have a zero diameter." %Info: $0.50+postage per FIVE issues. Subscriptions are 52 issues per year in 12 batches of 4 or 5 issues each for $10. We are willing to accept stamps or The Usual. Martin Bormann's Cranial Splints POB 8166 Philadelphia PA 19101 1 or 2 pages, standard. email mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu %Title: Thieves and Prostitutes Number 6 %Descr: If the producers weren't a bunch of rabid anti-drug, anti- abortion Christians this would be yet another generic punk zine. Skulls, lousy poetry (just substitute George Bush for Abortionist and it's the same poetry as half the other punkrock zines), more skulls, band interviews, even more skulls. %Info: $1.00(?) each to Alexis Neptune 4009 Johnson St. Hollywood FL 33021 12 pages, standard. %Title: Thingumybob Number 6 %Descr: A rather typical close-knit sfanzine from England, with contributors from the UK, the US and Australia. I especially liked the two episodes of the comic "Russ L. Street C.O.P." a Bladerunnerish epic of future civil war between Sydney and Melbourne loaded with awful puns. Thingumybob is almost all long fanzine reviews and LoC's. It has the most amusing address (so far) in zinedom. %Info: The Usual to Chuck Conner Sildan House Chediston Road Wissett Near Halesworth Suffolk IP19 0NF 52 pages, A4 %Title: Tommy Magazine Number 105 %Descr: Italian language punkrock zine. Band, zine and underground radio infromation. Interviews with Sundial, The End, Ataraxia, Isola Posse All Stars, Nuovi Briganti, Aeroplani Italiani, Les Coquines and Diaframma. Lots of record reviews. Comes with a 4 page zine with details about the latest gigs in Udine. %Info: 22,000 Lira a year to Mauro Missana Via Uberto I 146-33034 Fagagna Udine 40 pages A3(? I dunno, it's a bit bigger than A4) and 4 pages A4. %Title: Twisted Image Number 43 %Descr: If you haven't had the chance to see Ace's comix in every zine on the planet, or if you get some zines *just* to read them, you can get Twisted Image straight from the source. In addition to strips I've seen repeatedly, this issue has an hommage to R. Crumb, responses to the readers' survey (including R. Crumb's), Bukowski on the presidential election and a reprint of a local news article on Ace's participation in a Berkeley art exhibit. %Info: $20.00 a year (cash) to Twisted Image 1630 University Ave. apt. 26 Berkeley CA 94703 10 pages, standard. Now zine and music reviews from Second Guess #5. Hi, please include this in the FF5-E files you are sending out. thanks! -bob PS you forgot these last time....what happened? ______________ Second Guess #5 zine and music reviews. For the complete issue of Second Guess send $2 to bobc, PO Box 9382, Reno, NV 89507. or email bobc@cs.unr.edu Thanks. MUSIC WINDHAM HELL cassette, "Complete Awareness," seven songs, $6, L.T. Windham, 9405 384th Ave. SE, Snoqualmie, WA 98065. Half classical-style metal guitar solos and half drum machine thrash- metal with unintelligible and barely-heard vocals. Unfortunately this is part of a genre that should have fully died when it dropped in popularity soon after it came out a few years back. We're talking thunder and echo intros here. Honorable DIY quality, just rehashed concepts that's all. LOCAL H cassette demo, "IS," seven songs, $5?, PO 9161, Waukegan, IL 60079-9161. Local H is a band that sounds like what Seattle bands would sound like if they had talent and creativity. This is pop/ grunge/ noise/ crash/ thump-thump/ burn your speakers stuff. And they're friends of mine. WALLMEN 7 inch EP, 2 songs, $3?, Dead Judy Records, 771 Lisa Lane, N. Syracuse, NY 13212. Clear Vinyl! Wooo...neato. But the annoying part is this record has the big hole where you need one of those adapter thingys to fit it on your turntable. No biggie. Sound: keyboards and guitar synth create a college/modern/alternative rock sound on one side and an upbeat pseudo late 70s rock/metal sound on the other. These guys could be coming to the college radio station nearest you! BLOODHOUND GANG 7 inch EP, "Locked Out," three songs, $3, THD Records, 2020 Seabury Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55406. Rockish pop punk with dark love songs like this: "Ran into a friend of yours and I couldn't stop my voice - told her your just a messed up girl with a freaked out, doped up life. And I swelled up strong when I said this and pretended it was true but she knew: I shoot this loud cap gun that can't kill a thing about you..." Pretty good. JABBERJAW/BLOODHOUND GANG split 7 inch EP, three songs, $3, THD records (address above). One tune from BHG similar to the above stuff. Jabberjaw, is more fast pop punk stuff. Maybe a tad more serious, though. I find them interesting but not exciting. Kind of there, but existing just above the threshold of conscious awareness. In other words, okay. Weird, I spotted a few of these at a local record store, of all places. GARGOYLES CD, Sympathy For the Record Industry (Mordam Distro). Seventies-style rocknroll with a punk style. Gargoyles have an old punk following in the Bay Area. Jeff Bale likes them. Their drummer, Brian, has lots of stories to tell about the band, like being pressure vomited on while playing a show in San Jose. FURY 7 inch EP, "Resurrection," six songs, $3, THD Records (address above). Cool shit, this disc. Punkish post-hardcore noise (whatever the fuck that means) with catchy lyrics. "Shotgun" strokes this reviewer's loins. Buy it, no questions about it. QUINCY PUNX 7 inch EP, "Me," nine songs, $3, THD Records (address above). Jokey, anti-PC lyrics combined with a stale style of punk make this a laugher. Check these words from "Punker Than U": "You listen to the PC groups and wear your brand new DM boots, mind controlled by Profane Existence." Okay, goodie goodie gum drops. Yes. Czech also Zannah's fav, "I Wanna Be A Dyke." MINORITY 7 inch EP, four songs, $3, Steve Dilley, PO Box 8649, Austin, TX 78713-8649. Standard hardcore (and I want to say straight-edge) with personal and political lyrics. Fairly good music and attitude. POPINJAYS "Flying Down to Mono Valley," CD on Epic Records. Oh lordy, the debate over whether to review big label (I don't use the term "major label" cuz SUP POP and TOUCH AND GO act like majors so they may as well be) releases. I say fuck it. First and foremost is my support of underground and independent music, but if I keep getting shitty-ass post cards and press releases from shitty-ass labels like TOUCH AND GO and TAAANG! w/o the releases it's kinda hypocritical of me to turn down EPIC who at least takes the time to send me shit. I can at least give a review and take the CD down to the used CD store to help pay for this zine. Anyway, I'm a sucker for good pop music and this disc almost sucked me dry. Not to mention the killer glossy photo of the two cuties producing the music.... It's upbeat, alterna-acoustic pop-rock ("crackle crackle," you know that candy stuff) with, unfortunately, drum machine rhythms. A little too trendy soundin' but pink hair types will dig this. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE cassette, Epic Records. Politically charged white boy thrash-rap done by guys that may or may not be white. Lyrics reflect smelLA conditions. The press release pretty much says they're an overnight sensation-type band. Pretty good stuff but we can do without the self-glorifying hype portrayed in the promo, thank-you-very-much. HUASIPUNGO 7 inch EP, "Canciones Para Una Causa Perdida," seven songs, $3, Discos Sanjuancito, 80-50 Baxter Ave. #125, Elmhurst, NY 11373. I saw these guys (and gal) in NYC and it was a riot. The sound is total guitar heavy hardcore, much like Born Against, but HUASIPUNGO is not slow and limp, unlike Born Against. The lyrics are in Spanish and English and reflect Latin American situations. One of my favorites recently, this disc. Highly recommended. VARIOUS, "Piledriver" 7 inch EP with THE OXYMORONS, SINKHOLE, FAQ and KID WITH MAN HEAD, $3, Sub-Mission Records, PO Box 6824, St. Paul, MN 55106. Red Vinyl. FAQ, in their song, "Twinkie, has lyrics like "Livin' off those berries and 'shrooms, but at least I don't have to clean my room." Their vocalist sounds like a throwback 60s folk singer applying his skills to '93 pop punk. FAQ has more style changes in their tune and a silly breakdown about a Twinkie purchase. KID WITH MAN HEAD play a sweet, melodic groover about surfin. THE OXYMORONS are kinda a pop thingy which sounds a little to me like Green Day and Crimpshrine mixed. But I may be wrong. Pretty good. SINKHOLE, more poppy stuff; is this the trend these days? All pop, happy sounders on this disc. Decent stuff. ZINES We've been receiving too many zines lately. Unless this lets up, we can no longer review every zine sent in. This will first effect those zines that don't review in return. Sorry. Profane Existence #16, $2, PO Box 8722, Minneapolis, MN 55408. Tabloid-size zine. This excerpt is taken from a column within this issue. It's written by a character named Troll: "I support the actions 100% of women fighting back to destroy patriarchy." So far so good. "And I have no regrets the PE is going to take this on in our usual way -- up front and in your face!" A bit vehement but still on planet Earth. "If you have any questions I recommend immediate castration." BZZZZZT! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Yo, Troll! Why don't you crawl back under the bridge! I've said it before and I'll say it again: lame. (Note: this isolated bit of lack of wisdom tends to be characteristic of a lot of the idiocy at PE -- except for the zine reviews, of course.) Who Cares? #5, $2, 7537 Heatherton Lane, Rockville, MD 20854-3232. Small zine. "Bob, didn't have room for your review -- (ad) money first for me the whore." Oh, I see, Steve. So that's how many zines I've sent you now and you haven't reviewed yet? Maybe next time, right? Anyway, the best part of this is the opening editorial where Steve describes being arrested for shoplifting at Tower Records. Includes also features on the Swirlies, Lilys, Treepeople, Stumpy Joe and Hammerbox. The latter three by my pal The Glitter who says she thinks it is a-okay to be biased in her articles because the bands are friends of hers. So much for getting in-depth. 10 Things #1, 2 stamps, 1407 NE 45th St. #17, Seattle, WA 98105. Zine. A Seattle zine with what you'd expect: a pretty good Mudhoney interview, local show reviews, Naken Aggression, a Sonic Youth commentary and record reviews. Sorry, but it reminds me too much of the lame grunge-list. Cool first though. 10 Things #2, $1.50. Ten things this zine -- put out by See-addle whores Dan and Parker -- can do without: Steve Turner ('ho), the cover (art), the back cover (ad), the majority of the show and record reviews, and...fuck that's all I can cum up with. Ten reasons why you should buy this rag: THE GLITTER GIRL (!!!!), my letter, the SE Fashion draw-ing (which i just may steal...), the CRACKERBASH ad, SIN's Riot Grrrl quotes (clap clap), the photo of that guy (girl?) going down on that chyck, GARGOYLES, and ... fuck that's all I can cum up with. Dan houses me, i appreciate. Getting better, sirs. Cactus Prick #6, $1 and two stamps, 1265 E. Univ. #1014, Tempe, AZ 85281. Zine. CP is becoming one of my favorite zines. I don't even care if this Melmoprick slags me, this is funny shit. The band interviews suck, but they're kinda funny cause Melmo is a smartass (generally) to the bands. Sheprick and farts...Melmo=desert toroise churning out beef patties. Buy. We Are the Weird #25, $3, Joe Bob Briggs, PO Box 2002, Dallas, TX 75221. Newsletter. B-Grade movie reviews by critic Joe Bob, as well as a eulogy to Mad magazine's publisher. Includes a funny and right-on commentary on the Klan. Bobc says cool. Christ: The Dark Years, $1.60, Church of New Faith, PO Box 9152, Va. Beach, VA 23450. Small, half-page zine. Uh...yeah, right. Check this: "Jesus clad in shining armor and sword forged by the angels of God, crept into the hollow pit where the gargoyle lived. The gargoyle had one vulnerability and one only, and that was its massive genitalia. While it slept Jesus hacked the genitalia from the evil monster. Then Jesus wandered aimlessly for days." Buy this if you want the complete tale of the Dark Christ. Heh heh. Blue Ryder #25, 12 issues/$5, Box 587, Olean, NY 14760. Small, tabloid sized zine. This is mostly a review thing (zines, music, etc.) with reprinted stuff from Chain Letter (below) and an interview with Hank Rollins (neck). #27 has an interview with a cop, more reviews, Manic Street Preachers and Mike Gunderloy interviews, and more. Chain Letter #4, $1, PO Box 72671, Las Vegas, NV 89170- 2671. Half-page sized zine. A brother Nev. zine with at least equal amounts of fun, slippery, drippy, oozing verbiage. This one features the reality/myth of tattoo addiction, flag burning and a how-to complain correctly section. Me like. Me laugh. Fat Kid/Spiderworks split fanzine, $1?, Matt O., 4326 Airport #B, Austin, TX 78722. Half-page sized zine. Features Wynona Ryders (cool), Bitey Bitey Mosstones (sellout), Myke Bullshit (PC...actually this guy is known for being an anti-bigotbig DEAL!!!), Citizen Fish (England), and more garbage. Pretty cool. I want to see another. Flipside #80, $2.50, PO Box 60790, Pasadena, CA 9116. Thick zine. I like. Big zine. Many bands. Like Cud, Frantic Puzzle, Jesus Lizard, Seven Year Bitch, Tesco Vee, L7 and mush, mush mo'. L7 get the lamequote-of-year award for this fragment of stupidity: "It pisses us off when a fanzine like Maximum Rocknroll gives us the big 'fuck you' without knowing what's going on...poverty pisses us off whether it be other people's or our own." Oh, sure. L7=suck but Flipside=good. #81 has Falling James of Leaving Train (wow, yer sooo punk doode), more Billy-boy Cooper (can you say paranoia?), Gass Huffer, Ministry (ack), Mudhoney (ahem), Rudimentary Peni and some funny slags on Bikini Kill along with the usual scene reports. Jersey Beat #47, $2, 418 Gregory Ave, Weehawken, NJ 07087. Zine. This gets the silly zine name tag. But damn if these aren't good interviews with Screeching "Ben" Weasel, Faith No More (hair farmers), Letch Patrol(s), Lemonheads and more. Good look, feel and attitude. I recommend. It's a wise and humble zine. That's what it is. Pawholes #2, $1,50?, 13 Forbes Terrace, Pittsburg, PA 15217. Half-page sized zine. Hey, easy does it on the clip-art images okay? Generally, Pee-holes numbah two is more serious than number one, but this workage features one exciting interview with RACHEL McNALLY of SLEEPYHEAD, a pro/anti make-up story (me no like mayke-up), the on-going single, straight, male quest (this one in an auto-supply store ... HUH?! ... weird kids, these Pawholes people...), Tipper Gore's drum kit and her "rock roots revealed," interesting aborshun facts and mo' mo' mo'. Yes! Blown Chunx #5, $2?, Alyssa Chunx, 75 Stanton Rd., Brookline, MA 02146. Half-page sized zine. Blown Chunx, product of Bahstahn mover and shaker Alyssa Chunx. This one features much writing on Native American and feminist issues (you know, women-with-a-"y" type stuff). Includes one of those annoying "Foopee" comics, a stinker called "Just Another Freak" (no comment) by DuH and two photos of the editor and her friends. What's with the hand-drawn maps these zine editors keep doin of their little scenes??? Eric Butt, among others, has a cool article on the 404 Willis (Detroit) collective. Bigger and much better than number four. 94159-1275. Half-page sized zine. Some nauseating poetry but some cool journal-type stories. HT is mostly male-centered, which is disappointing, but overall it's recommended. Good writing, art and layout. I liked best the essay on what zines really are: "Zine is not short for magazine. A magazine is a product, a commercial commodity. A zine is a labor of love, producing no profit, and frequently a loss, of time at least." Right on. Add two stamps if you want Queer Zine Explosion, a listing of queer zines. Practical Anarchy #5, $1, PO Box 173, Madison, WI 53701- 0173. Zine. Generally there's a lot of good information here, but some of the ideas in this issue -- which seem to be consistent with those who label themselves as anarchists -- are contradictory. For example, the editor says to vote is "to sanction or legitimize the state (and) ... anarchists are anti-statists, so why should they acknowledge or even legitimize the state?" Why? Because the right for you to say that is in jeopardy if some of these assholes get elected, that's why! Also, the editor goes to baseball games which is supportive of excessive, corrupt capitalism in my eyes. Unless, of course, he steals the tickets, but I doubt that! There's other stuff as well, such as anarchist updates, reviews, Internet tips, other voting stuff and more. Overall rating: good. Thwack #1, $2 (for 1 & 2), Cynthia Kravetz, 1640 W. Grace St., Richmond, VA 23220. Zine. The editor thinks many feminists are (t)whacked. She hates PC punk bullshit. She's all right in my book. This zine features the guitarist of Toasters (dipshit), 411 (living on inheritance), Chris Shary (cool) and more. In the show reviews section a reviewer has this to say about BORN AGAINST: "their music is just not good ... the bassist dropped his bass to stage dive and I honestly didn't hear a difference." Hee hee. Thwack #2, has more of the same but with Clutch, Shudder to Think, Five-Eight, and more. Good scene coverage and attitudes. Lights Out #1, $1.50, Chris or Jeremy, 2837 Hickey Ave, N. Las Begas, NV 89030. Zine. This is done by a couple 16-year- olds. It's pretty good, but has a sloppy layout.. They call each other fags and are doing a "White Trash Girl" contest. Says them: "Lights Out is ours. If you don't like it, well, that's too bad. You can just go fuck yourself." Glad to see they aren't afraid to piss people off. Includes a couple interviews. The best part of the zine is the attitude and the "Dumb Girl Gets Play in Our Magazine" interview. Hungry Girl #1, $1.75, c/o Zannah Marsh, 1426 Grand Ave., St. Paul, MN 55105. Half-page sized zine. The editor insists this "isn't a Riot Grrrl zine." I disagree. It has "grrrl revolution" spelled all over it: it has those cutesy stars Riot Grrrl has, it has an intelligent interview with Billy and Kathleen (did somebody say "confused"?) Hanna of BIKINI KILL and most of the rest of the content except for the reviews is oriented around gender issues. The RG correlation is definitely there. But I don't think that's necessarily bad, as the opinions -- "people, not girl or boy, revolution" -- are inconsistent with some RG's trains of thought, which should be viewed, ultimately, as positive. Cool layout and the coolest handwriting since vomitbus. Traffic, $1.50, Cliff Hopkins, 953 E. 87th St., Brooklyn, NY 11236. Poetry chapbook. Short, pointed and humorous verses make up one poem which lasts for 12 pages. One of Cliff's best by far. "some people never see the marble inside a can of spay paint. some professors don't read our homework. some kids are dreading the first day of school. denzel washington looks exactly like malcolm X." etc. Void, $2, PO Box 72671, Las Vegas, NV 89170-2671. Half- page sized zine. Overall I was pretty confused as to what this zine was about. It wasn't until the latter half that I started to find worthwhile reading material. Mostly sloppy layout with a lot of ads and poor art. A few cool stories and scam/hangout type things. Wasn't until the very last page that discovered what the zine's about -- bad placement decision there guys. (Personal aside: Sorry but it you want contributions you'll have to give me more than a week and more information....) A Day in the Life Of.... #9, two stamps, c/o Carrie Carolin, PO Box 94221, Seattle, WA 98124. Zine. This is really cool. It's a collection of writings by people who describe their lives and daily routines. Wow. There's a couple from people in collectives, one from a prisoner (ouch!), some travelers and more. Cool, cool, cool.