alt.irc

Kim Mosley wrote:
Why are there 72000+ messages on this newsgroup, yet I only see 49. Where do they go? Please email me...Thanks.
IRC could be used as a method of communication if our mail and phone service were knocked out in a nuclear attack. In fact, there are plans in existance at the Pentagon for the transfer of all military communications over IRC in the event of telephone service interruption due to an enemy attack. (This would of course, be encoded using the DoD standard IRCencryption scheme developed by NIS [National Information Security])

Because of this vital national dependence on IRC, alt.irc, as a forum for discussion of IRC, has been classified Confidential by the United States Department of Defense. Other groups, which discuss much more potentially damaging information (should it be uncovered by our enemies), specifically alt.irc.routing, alt.irc.pentagon, and alt.irc.in.the.event.of.nuclear.war./join.#twilight_zone, are classified Secret, Top Secret, and Special Compartmented Information (SCI), respectively. As such, only users who have obtained the necessary clearances through an agency of the Department of Defense can read these groups.

Now back to your question, with alt.irc being classified "Confidential", it must comply with all the DoD rules regarding access to, and destruction of classified information. Therefore, every article posted to alt.irc must expire within a specified period of time. This expiration period is usually on the order of a week. Once an article expires, in accordance with DoD mandate Conf187.5, it is printed out at a DoD site (I believe this to be irc.shhhh.cia.gov), immediately deleted from all news servers, then 3 copies are made. The original printout of the article is shredded, one copy is burned, another copy is sealed in a certified classified document container, and the third and final copy is slipped into Fawn Hall's brassiere to be smuggled out of the office.

It is possible for people who read alt.irc to privately archive the information in the expired articles, and some may have archives containing a majority of, if not all of, the 72,000 articles that have appeared on alt.irc. These archives, though, are classified Confidential as well and must be stored on disks which can destroy all the data on them when given the proper stimuli. (For example, the hard drives in an RS/6000 during a nasty power spike.)

I hope this explains the absence of articles on alt.irc. For further information, please e-mail the Department Of Useful Guidelines on Modern Communications (DOUGMC). Their e-mail address is:

dougmc@utpapa.ph.utexas.edu.

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