It started with the obvious...someone figured out how to make a smiley face on its side using typewriter characters to indicate that the preceding statement was not meant seriously:

:-)

Then followed the inevitable "bad day", resulting in a

:-(

...and pretty soon the idea caught on. Now almost everyone is into the act...or was until they became royally sick of the whole notion of emoticons.

Smileys are viewed by many veteran Internet users as one of the most overused and valueless forms of communication on the net. Those who lack the verbal facility of these so-called experts find them indispensible as a means of self-expression.
It's amazing how much you can tell about a person by the smileys or "emoticons" they use in chat, newsgroup posts and email, and here's the proof. Parental guidance is suggested.
WARNING: This list is not to be consumed in one sitting without permission from accredited counselling or medical professionals; excessive exposure to emoticons may induce vomiting or childish behavior.

:-{) User has a moustache
'-) User is winking at you
;-) Wink...or bad plastic surgery?
:-{ User is a vampire
:-E User is a bucktoothed vampire
|-{ Charlie Brownicon ("Good Grief!")
:-} Love or just good scotch?
8-O User is shocked
:-, User is perplexed
:-f User is both bucktoothed and perplexed
<:-0 Eeek!
:-1 User smirks

:-Q User is a smoker
:-? User smokes a pipe
:-" User has pursed lips
:-9 User is licking his/her lips
C=:-) User is a chef
{_}0 Coffee callsà.
:-r Bleagghàneed to brew a fresh pot
:~) User has broken nose
|~( User has broken nose and is still in pain
:-v User is speaking out of the side of their mouth
:-V User is shouting at person using the next terminal

B-D User plays in rock band
B-D}}} User plays with ZZ Top
\:) User is Ronald Reagan...or Nancy giving dictation
7:) User is a Ronald Reagan imitator
:-w User speaks with forked tongue
:-W User speaks with forked tongue and insists you listen
:<) User is from an Ivy League School
<I==I) User is talking on their car phone
>y==X) User talking on car phone just drove into a tree
8^{} User is prying jaws open with vise to display amazement
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office

`:-) User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
O:-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-S User just made an incoherent statement
*<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o Uh oh...
(8-o ...it's Mr. Bill!
*:o) User is a bozo
3:] Pet smiley
3:[ Mean pet smiley
d8= Beaver wearing goggles and a hard hat
E-:-) User is a HAM radio operator
%-6 User is braindead

[:-) User is wearing a portable stereo
(:I User is an egghead
8-] User is stoned
*L* User is totalled
:-(*) User on verge of vomiting at the excess of smileys
<:-I User is a dunce
+<.'v User is a knight who is busy with something away from the terminal
K:P User wears a propeller beanie
:-)' User drools
@:-) User wears a turban
User wishes to remain anonymous

X-( User just died
X==[ User just died with their boots on
X-) User just died happy
]X###[ User just died in bed
]X==+=[ User (m or f) just died very happy
C=}>;*{O) Classic overkill smiley: user is a drunk, sly chef with moustache, toupee and double chin in and is caught in an updraft
:-x User sucks lemons
:-> User is just some happy square
:-C Stock drops...so does the jaw
:-< User is forlorn

[:] User is a robot
>>-O-> User had a bad day at the Little Bighorn
:V User is a woodpecker
8:-) User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a big girl
|) User is a salamander
@|@ User has been surfing too long
*-<:-{{{ User is Santa
}:-}{{W-- User is Satanàor dyslexic and attempting to be Santa
=|:-)= User is Abe Lincoln or a really cheap imitation Santa
o-<:-{{{ User is a cheap imitation Santa

{:-) User wears a toupee
}:-( Toupee in an updraft
*| User loves a sunset
:-, Smirk
:-\ 8o User after cold shower
:-\ User is Popeye
:-? User licks their lips
:^T User's lips are zipped
:^P User is sticking tongue out at you
>:^( User is an Amazonian headhunter
7:) User is a Ronald Reagan imitator
>w User is thumbing their nose at you

(-_-) User gives you a secret smile
|-<> Kissy-face
@-) User is a happy cyclops
@-() User is a hungry cyclops
C-| User is a cyclops with a squint
Q-) Cyclops winking
<:>== User is a turkey
MSN User is trying not to be, but is still a turkey
:= | User is a baboon
8=[} User is a lemur
%-<I> User is happy drunk
*-} User is beyond drunk

% User has had a cycling accident
:-O>-o User is an American tourist (oh joy)
:'O User is pretending to be Bob Hope
:Q) User is John Q. Public
>-) User is a sly one
>-( Not a happy camper
(-::-( User is two-faced
:<= User is a walrus
:~| User is punchy
-:-) User has a mohawk cut
{:\/ User is talking like a duck
:-$ User insists you put your money where your mouth is

:-: User is French (jou notice ze accent?)
:-& Tongue-tied
::-) User is four-eyed
i-) User is a private investigator
.-) User is keeping an eye out
.-) "I told you you'd put your eye out with that!"
&-) User needs opera glasses to see terminal screen
=:-) User is a hosehead
8-) The Madman Strikes Again
#-) User is auditioning for part of Lieutenant Geordie LaForge

:-| User says: "Have a day"
*:* User is a little fuzzy
%-{ User has been at the terminal too long
%~v User needs medical attention
#:-) User is Cosmo Frasier
^): User has perceptual difficulties or is a post-nuclear baby
O|-l User has been hit by falling rock
:-(=) User has big teeth
(:)-) User is a scuba diver
~= User lights a candle...the flame is on
~====== Better call the bomb squad

-= User douses a candle...this flame is over
P-) User is a pirate
~~\8-O User needs to fix frayed cord on monitor
~~:-( User is a hothead
|:-| User needs to loosen up
d :-o User doffs their hat to you
:8) User is a pig
8+() User is either Tina Turner or a British Lord
*~8-} User has a lit fuse coming out of their head
B-{= User is either a vampire, a beaver or just some dork

@-} User is a cyborg on a good day
:(\ User smokes...
! and hates it
B(\ User smokes...
! and thinks it makes them look cool
:-6 User finds your remark sour
:-{} User wears heavy lipstick
:^( User's nose is out of joint
:-[ ] User breaks out the Jaws of Death
8-* User just ate a hot pepper
R-) User has broken glasses

S-) User has crooked glasses
<{:-)[ User has been stuffed into a rocket
=[{:-(] User has been stuffed into a bottle
=[{:-)] User has been stuffed into a Scotch bottle
) Cheshire smiley
>-o ^^^^: User zipped fly too fast
p-) User wears a monocle
[:] User is being crushed by heavy machinery
(-E: User wears bifocals
L-) User has a funky hairdo
T-) User wears weird glasses

H-) User is cross-eyed
(:-) User never computes without protective headgear
oo User's headlights are on
O>-<|= Women only please...
o>8<|= Interesting women only please...
o[#|== Men only please...
o[#+== Oh, puh-lease...
}:-( User is bull-headed
;-) Winkie
o{=8~~ User farts in your general direction
(:>-< User thought you were a cop
|-( User is having another late night at the terminal

:-{#} User wears braces
@= User digs nuclear explosions
(:-# User wishes they hadn't said that
:-` User chews tobacco
:-) )-: User has a theatrical bent
d:-) User is a trucker (or a baseball fan
q:-) User is a rapper, a catcher, or doesn't know how to put on a ball cap
(:-$ User had bad pizza for dinner
(:+) User wants you to know they have an enormous...nose
(:=) User has two noses

(\/) User has extremely large ears
** User enjoys winter sports
(:<) User is a blabbermouth
=) User is psychotically happy
||*) Handshake accepted
&-| User is very sad
:-) -8 User is sexually aroused (m)
!-( % User attempted to display arousal to wrong person
:-(O) User is in your face
=|:-) User wears a top hat
&:-) User has curly hair
@:-) User has wavy hair

*:** User is a bit blurry
:-8( User is looking down on you
...---... Emergency
#$%^@# Encrypted emoticon;
(:-|K- Formal chat requested
l= Chat requested regarding housing in Arizona
B-) User is Batman
->- User sells airline tickets
>;-> User is giving you the evil eye
<|-( User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
=0== - User is Mexican or a stylish woman on a railroad track
=t== - User is Mexican or a stylish woman who has been run over by train

M:-) User salutes you
<:-)<<| User is an astronaut
(:-... User's heart is broken
~M`'~ User is a very intelligent camel
:-)!!! User is Sam Kinison
>|-> User is an elder Chinese nationalàapproach with respect
:-(%) User has tonsillitis or a fly in their throat
<<<<(:-) User sells hats
{O--< User is a dead fish...or thinks you are
@>--->---- User offers you a rose
(:-{~ User has moustache and drools

{} User makes no comment
O-S-< User is in a hurry
O-Z-< User is awkward and in a hurry
O-&-< User is getting impatient
-|==>- User is a user
XXXXXXXXXXX User has copy-protected their emoticon
==:[OO']>:== User feels like they're being railroaded
8) User is a frog
pp# User is a cow that wants you to think they are a frog
O-G-< User thinks they should come first
%\v User is a Picasso fan

[] User gives you a hug
|| Chat requested regarding four-wheel drive vehicles
@O=E<= User wears a skirt and a turtleneck sweater
6\/) User is an elephant
__Q~`__ User is a cat
-( User ought to know enough to wear safety glasses around lasers
:-'| User has a cold
;^? User got their lights punched out
C:# User is a football player
((-) User needs a haircut
:-a User can lick their own nose (see "dork")

%*@:-( User is hung over
-=#:-) User is a wizard
!-| User is a Cylon
i-=<***** User has flamethrower
i-=<*****X-( User has flamethrower and uses it
:-" User smokes two cigarettes at once
Q:-) User is a recent graduate
($^}>==[ User has successfully sued us for copyright violation regarding unlicensed use of a smiley

(From the PC/Internet Lexicon «1995 DLM)

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