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len@axionet.com
asks:
Where are you now, and when where your travels to N.Y , Hearst Castle,
Galveston, done (date, month,year.) Enjoyed your pages, thanks bunch.
SEAN’S REPLY
Lenny, Right now (1pm EST, Sunday 22 August) I am at home in Melbourne.
This time in two weeks I will be in a hotel in Brisbane and one week after
that I will (God willing) be in Amsterdam. My travels in America happened
from early August (Montreal) until late October (Seattle) of 1996. Thanks
for liking the book - I know it can’t have been easy. Sean.
ferdie asks:
Hi! I'm in california going to charlotte. Where can i get the easy way
to get there? Thank in advance.
SEAN’S REPLY
Ferdie - fly, baby. PS Charlotte where?
Ben asks:
I want to drive from LA to new york via the south(las vegas,santa fe,
memphis etc) What is the cheapest way of obtaining a vehicle.
SEAN’S REPLY
Buy one, Ben. A cheap
one. Then drive it into the ground.
CASS SHING asks:
hi, i want to know something about you, like your age, your habbit, and
what kind of man you are? why your name call "S-E-A-N". nice
to meet you .Bye Bye!!
SEAN’S REPLY
Cass, it’s ALL there in both books. Name-spelling-wise, it’s
Irish, don’t you know?
green asks:
sorry, no questions just wanted to find out how this worked ~~ you don't
need to answer i won't make you listen to tonite's the night ~~ but if
you insist, how many neil young tapes did you have?
SEAN’S REPLY
Green - I have two NY tapes. David has about 50. How many Scritti Politti
tapes do YOU have?
dusty asks:
whats your favoutite town in the sothwest
SEAN’S REPLY
Dusty, Sanderson, in SW Texas. It’s bee-you-tee-ful. Otherwise Santa
Fe, but it’s probably TOO pretty.
Te Jean asks:
Whenever I hear the name "Kerouac" in a promo it smells like
hype. From Gap jeans to local television commercials ... all bottom feeding
on the beat re-revival. And to think cheetos is called cheesey.
SEAN’S REPLY
Te Jean, I cannot but agree - but he’s kind of cornered the marketing
market on hipster road writing, hasn’t he? PS Which beat re-revival
are you talking about - the early 1970s one, the mid-80s one or the late
90s one?
Sean Donahoe asks:
Are you, by any chance, related to a Sikwaya Condon of Walnut Creek, CA?
SEAN’S REPLY
Sean - no. but it might’ve been nice. Sean
tracy asks:
I am looking for the e-mail address of a youth hostel in New York City
which is dedicated to Andy Warhol. Apparantly the hostel is done up in
pop-art & once a week they have Andy Warhol seances.
SEAN’S REPLY
I don’t know the email address Tracy, but the name of the hotel is
the Gershwin.
bob asks:
so how did you find new york - did you have fun?
SEAN’S REPLY
Yes Bob, I did. Further details may be found in my latest book, ‘Drive
Thru America’!
KAT asks:
Howdy Sean! Being completely honest, what do you really think about Americans?
We're not all that bad, are we?? Much love!
SEAN’S REPLY
I LOVE Americans! It’s a pretty broad statement, but the fact that
Bridget Fonda and Eric Stoltz are an item helps me believe it. Although,
I wish she was my girlfriend. And Preston Sturges was American.
Kelly asks:
Sean, I just finished S&D's LD, last night in fact, and loved it--absolutely
hilarious! I probably will read Drive thru... in the near future. Ok,
so there is my comment, now here is a question. Being a Canadian Girl,
and a faithfull LP fan I ask why Canada is never featured in any novels
or T.V series. And may I suggest that maybe your next destination should
be Canada! Truly, it is so amazing, and hey...I would be glad to show
you some "off the beaten track" kinds of places! Thanks
SEAN’S REPLY
Okay Kelly, you’re in for a great treat because ‘DTA’ begins
in one of the greatest North American cities of all - Montreal!! You’re
totally right, Canada IS a great place. PS. It is sort of featured in
at least one TV series b/c ‘The X-Files’ is shot in and around
Vancouver, which can evidently pass for most places in the mid-east of
the USA - but it’s cheaper.
Jacqueline asks:
WHat?
SEAN’S REPLY
SOrry?
carole Horn asks:
Sean,
On the menu, there is a picture of the "sleep in a wigwam motel"
I wanted to do this in AZ but the place was closed. Did you and what do
they look like inside? Was there complimentary cheese?? Thanx, drive on!
SEAN’S REPLY
David wanted to but I didn’t, so we just took a photo and kept on
driving. Now that I’m back home safe, I regret it. My life is full
of such regrets.
Greg Eickholt
asks:
In response to your questions about the drive-thru America show, I first
saw it in July, so it's plenty of time for those guys to steal it from
you, and yes, like everything on MTV, it is loud, obnoxious, and completely
witless. By the way, I can't believe you went through Texas, and didn't
hit Austin, the music capital of the Southwest. Willie Nelson, chicken
fried steak, and lots of beautiful, half-naked women. I don't think I
have a question, so I guess I'll go back to work now.
SEAN’S REPLY
Thanks for your response, Greg. And yes, you’re right about Austin.
Next time mebbe.
Jan Roos asks:
Hi Sean,
Do you know of a reliable car insurrance broker/company that sells policies
for cars/campers used by non USA-residents while driving in the US of
A and Canada and Mexico and even further into South-America?
SEAN’S REPLY
Jan - no I don’t. It’s a fecking trial trying to rent or buy
then insure a car as a non-resident (even of the STATE you’re in)
so I’d suggest walking - with a shillelagh!
Bored accountant
asks:
You mentioned in one of your earlier replies to a question that it was
relatively easily to get your first book published thanks to your contacts
at LP. Unfortunately I have no such contacts so how would you suggest
I go about this feat (I spent 6 months overseas last year and have some
crazy idea for a story!!)? Ta for your help.
SEAN’S REPLY
Write ’em up and send ’em in!
kelly almond asks:
I really enjoyed reading your stuff, especially the San Simeon entries.
I was laughing. You sound like you’re having fun. Question: How do
you get a job like that and are you making any money. What are your hopes
and dreams...ya got a girlfiend (Yes I know I mis-spelled that and no
I am not a girl even though my name is Kelly...been there a ba-zillion
times...Have you seen Beck out on Route 66..."Rockin the plastic
like a man from the Catskills"?
SEAN’S REPLY
Kelly - thanks for your comments. I was having fun, and San Simeon was
fantastic. (I’m gonna buy it soon - I’m making THAT much money.)
How I got the job (although it’s not really a job per se - it’s
more of a ‘contract by contract’, one-book-at-a-time kind of
situation) was just by writing some stuff and telling the LP people that
I was brilliant, reliable and cheap. My girlfriend morphed into my wife
on Dec 31st 1997 at 1 Center St Manhattan - so yes and no.
FRAN HARRISON
asks:
TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT BRANSON, MO.
SEAN’S REPLY
It’s reference L-12 on Map 55 of the 1996 Rand McNally road atlas.
Its population is 3706.
shazz99 asks:
hey Sean! I really loved your book, The Long Drive! And your advice on
hair tips, really made an impact on my life especially as I live in Adelaide.
My question is Have you seen Elvis yet, and was he in Macdonalds at the
time?
SEAN’S REPLY
Shazz99. I’m very glad to hear you liked the Long Drive - especially
as you live in Adelaide (and I wasn’t too kind about the City of
Churchills). No Elvis sighting, except on stumps.
inkie asks:
Hi Sean, Read that you are (going to) live in Amsterdam. What a great
idea! Make sure you see other parts of the country as well. Arnhem is
a great place, as is Utrecht. Want me to show you around?
SEAN’S REPLY
Inkie, I’d be delighted for you to show me around. I’ll be there
from Sept. 10 and will be all emailed up soon after. Let’s type soon!!
r asks:
just came back from a similar trip in Europe and are planning another
one for the US next summer (bad time but the only time for us-College,
work......) Anyway, this time we had to rent a car which was okay for
the time we definitely don't want to do that next time around. Problem
is that as far as I'm aware it's a bitch trying to buy a car-we would
also be originating in Ca-since we don't live in the US etc.... Isn't
registration etc.. going to be a problem? I have a Social Security number
in the US for purposes of opening bank accounts etc... If we can't buy
a car what else would you suggest? Thanks in advance for your time
SEAN’S REPLY
r, it’s apparently a lot easier to do it from California. All I can
say is good luck and be reckless.
MEL asks:
how long did it take you to drive from the east to west coast also how
much did it cost you for gas?
SEAN’S REPLY
Mel - do you REALLY want to know?
Marcus asks:
Hey Sean! What countries are you planning to cover on your long drive
thru Europe? There's a lot of great beer here! And make sure to bring
David along. Cheers!
SEAN’S REPLY
Marus, JUST Holland. David will be there in postcard form. I’m looking
forward to the beer - but not the roll-mops. Eccch!
francesca asks:
I would like to know some information about florida where I'm going to
spend my holidays;what would you suggest me?
SEAN’S REPLY
Francesca - I didn’t go there but I believe Miami is sleazy and a
popular spot to be a dead fashion designer. Also, there’s a place
called Disneyworld near Orlando.
Adam asks:
Sean,
I'm a Aussie who's been travelling in the US for four months...need VB!
DESPERATELY Haven't seen it anywhere... so could you tell where in NY
City you got it?
SEAN’S REPLY
But I’ll bet you’ve seen plenty of Foster’s, haven’t
you? Don’t go NEAR it. Drink Coors Banquet Beer.
Squawker asks:
Sean: Been to NO and I agree. its one of the best. I am doing a road trip
(nashville, Memph, NO, Savannah and Charleston) Any suggestions on places
to stay in Nashville and Mem??
SEAN’S REPLY
The Railway Hotel in Nashville is beautiful but expensive. At least take
a look at it. Didn’t go to Memphis but there are lots of unoccupied
rooms at Graceland.
Brewsters@webtv.net
asks:
Hey Sean, have you ever met Ian Wright? He seems like a cool guy.
SEAN’S REPLY
The Arsenal footballer or the LP TV fella? Either way, the answer’s
no - but I wish it was yes.
frippet asks:
does simon bolivar count as a famous american called simon?
SEAN’S REPLY
Frippet, Do you mean Gen. Simon Bolivar? If so, he’s Venezuelan.
But keep on trying - I’ll send a signed copy of ‘S&D’s
LD’ to anyone who can find a famous (or at least notorious) North
American whose first name is Simon.
Ryan Moore asks:
I find the following to be maybe the worst rock lyric ever:
"there's one more kid who'll never go to school
never get to fall in love
never get to be cool"
I always picture a teary Neil on a telethon, begging for $10 for some
kid - "look how uncool they are," pointing to a picture of kids
in 10 yr old fashions... Please comment. Also, have you ever "rocked
in the free world?"
SEAN’S REPLY
Ryan, It’s rhyme-y and a little corny, but hardly the worst lyric
ever. That ridiculous song about suicide by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
is much worse. PS. Yes, I have and it was very exciting.
David Richards
asks:
I want Mountains, oceans, semi-dry climate, and decent schools. Where
should I live?
SEAN’S REPLY
Simcity.
mark asks:
Jax was the best you could find? There are a lot of great beers up here
in the Northwest. If there is one thing I do hate about travelling around
the rest of the country, though, it's having to choose between Coors and
Bud Light. Coffee can be another problem.
SEAN’S REPLY
Coors Banquet Beer is better than Bud Light. Coffee IS another problem
- worsening with the outbreak of Starbucks.
malka asks:
I have a Swiss driving licence. Is this valid for driving in the US?
SEAN’S REPLY
Probably - but as a Swiss person won’t you be in neutral the whole
time?
pat asks:
Hey Sean, Loved your "Long drive" book, haven't read your American
one yet. If you're really going to Amsterdam: I just know you will LOVE
it, it is one hell of a city. Ps: Come by and sign the book!
SEAN’S REPLY
Pat, I REALLY am coming to A’dam and I’d be happy to come by
and sign the book. Write to me c/o Lonely Planet.
youyou asks:
why the insistence on going thru' New Orleans? What's in there?
SEAN’S REPLY
The ACME Oyster Bay, the Napoleon Arms, the Soniat House Hotel, Tipitinas,
the Neville Brothers, the Wild Magnolias and much, much more.
Kathrine asks:
What is it about people born in Perth, WA (I’m one) that makes them
American culture junkies. I even went so far as to marry an American.
Why choose Amsterdam - are you working your way thru the alphabet? - keep
your head down when you hit Armenia.
SEAN’S REPLY
Nice one about the alphabet, Kathrine. I didn’t even realise it.
I don’t know what it is about the Perth-US connection. But here’s
something else - most people from Perth don’t wear underpants, including
the historical me. Without being prurient, let me ask, do you?
amd10 asks:
why is new york nicknamed the big apple?
SEAN’S REPLY
Amd10, It’s some jazz term from the 1930s. I forget exactly how and
what and the piece of paper the facts are written on is all packed up.
I’ll get back to ya.
Katie Riddle asks:
I love you, do you love me too?
SEAN’S REPLY
You KNOW I do, Katie.
Gunnar Dahlberg
asks:
Why do you Brits and Aussies have such an inferiority complex whenever
you visit or comment on the USA. Wipe the hot dog off your face and stop
hanging around the 7-Elevens, there's more to the USA than cotton candy
and Budweiser. Aloha... Gunnar
SEAN’S REPLY
Gunnar, Don’t be such a sap! I don’t have a US inferiority complex
and I’m well aware of the fact that there’s more to America
than cotton candy and Budweiser - read my goddam book and find out just
HOW well aware.
Heather Lowry
asks:
You missed the best
kept secret of the US – CHICAGO! Give me a call, I'll take you out.
Oh, and by the way, I lived in Perth for six months and would give anything
to have been born there!
SEAN’S REPLY
Yes Heather, even though I haven’t been there, I agree with you.
And next time I go to America I’ll be waddlin’ into that toddlin’
town. Why? Al Capone, Eliot Ness, Daniel Clowes, Dr Aaron Shutt and YOU
baby. I’ll call ya!
pippa asks:
did the ghost of Kerouac jump into the backseat of your car any way along
the journey? if so, how's the bloke doing?
SEAN’S REPLY
As a matter of fact, Pippa, Jack the K DOES make an appearance in the
book and shares some amazing and valuable information about life with
me, which I, in turn, have shared with lucky readers. He seemed to be
doing very well – for a very dead guy.
wayne kerr asks:
howdy partern
SEAN’S REPLY
Hello Wayne. Did you just see ‘The Party’?
wanie asks:
hey sean how are you going mate
PLEASE REPLY FAST
SEAN’S REPLY
realgoodthankswanie!
Greg Eickholt
asks:
MTV has a show called "Drive Thru America", where a guy with
an Australian accent introduces videos while driving through America.
So, I guess my question is, how do you feel about being imitated/ripped
off in such a blatant manner (their logo is even similar).
SEAN’S REPLY
Greg. Are you freakin’ serious man? When did this show start? Why?
Why the Australian accent? The logo? What!? Unless it began after April
this year though, they couldn’t have ripped me off – it’s
just an astounding coincidence. And a fucking annoying one. Thanks for
the tip, though. Is it a good show? Sean.
Lazy Susan asks:
Keeping in mind I am on a shoestring budget, what is a realistic price
I would pay for a car to get me and my friend from NY to LA. All it has
to do is get us there. If we can sell it at the end of the journey all
the better. Also if you could recommend a few car models/makes that are
reliable etc. Ta
SEAN’S REPLY
LS – Here’s my poor advice: a 72–78 Cadillac with a boxy
trunk. Preferably brown. With those spiky wheels. No more than $800. Drive
carefully.
Mark Godden, Maple
Ridge, BC asks:
RE:Hearst Castle
I really liked the
piece "Insolent Pair Ejected from Hearst Tour". I thought this
was very well written and even funny.
My question is, where
did you come up with a word like insouciant? I had to look it up on my
word processors thesaurus and it means casual. It's a great word. For
instance..."How about a little insouciant sex?" or maybe "You're
insouciantly dressed today"
You are welcome to
drive across Canada any time you want.
SEAN’S REPLY
Mark, Thanks for your comments. I try to be funny whenever I can but it’s
not easy. Now, about the insouciant matter: I don’t know. It’s
just one of those things – you either know a word or you don’t.
There are plenty that I don’t know – like say, mattoid. I’ve
got no idea what that means. Sean
Peter Condon asks:
Where do you plan on travelling next?
SEAN’S REPLY
Peter, I’m going to live in Amsterdam in a few weeks. So there and
other bits of Europe. PS. Are you my Uncle Peter?
Terry asks:
Sean,
QUESTION
Have you visited the spa at Ojo Caliente, New Mexico, on any of your travels?
If yes, would you go back. Why or why not? Thanks!
SEAN’S REPLY
Terry, No. Why do you ask?
Danny asks:
Is the drive up the west coast from LA to San Fran worth doing or is it
a waste of time?
SEAN’S REPLY
Danny, No it’s not a waste of time. It’s great. A little wind-ey,
but very pleasant. Make sure you keep to the right though.
Filiz asks:
What American car did you find to be the ugliest hunk-of-metal-ever-shaped-into-a-useless-waste
of space? The cadillacs offended me the most, but you may have had more
exposure to trashy rentals!
SEAN’S REPLY
Filiz, I have to say that most contemporary American cars are pretty stupid
looking. Oddly, I find 70s Cadillacs pretty cool now, though. It must
be that retro thing.
Julie-Ann asks:
I am from Australia and am thinking of backpacking thru the states. How
easy do you think that would be (I would be traveling with my husband)
SEAN’S REPLY
Julie-Ann – Backpacking is always a horrible way to travel. Doing
it with your husband could make it more so. Or make it delightful. I dunno.
Get a suitcase with wheels ... Sorry ... Sean
troy asks:
any good pussy there
SEAN’S REPLY
Troy, I wish your question offended me. But even though it doesn’t,
I’m not gonna answer it. It’s TOO stupid. Sean
Mike asks:
I have to admit that I enjoyed your Australia book more than your US book.
I read Long Drive before I traveled to Oz (god, I hate the term "Oz"--
so cheesy) and I read some of the Drive Thru book while I was in Melbourne
(I'm American). Here's my question: why the different tone in the US book?
The Long Drive book is straightforward, realistic, wry, insightful, where
I found the Drive Thru book to be less coherent, prone to fantasy (but
you could never tell what was truly make-believe), more rambling, less
well-edited and not as funny. And I think there's more to it than just
that the US book was "deeper"-- I'm a pretty bright guy but
I still didn't get it. Was the new obscurity intentional? Did you somehow
think it was typically American and so appropriate to a book on the USA?
I'm sorry if this is overly critical. I loved your Long Drive and the
new book isn't a total travesty; I am just wondering why the change in
approach and tone?
SEAN’S REPLY
Mike, You are not alone in feeling this way - most people who have read
both books seem to think that the first one is funnier than the second,
and perhaps it is. I guess it’s hard for me to say. I do think, however,
that DTA is a better book than S&D’s LD. Although it is structurally
far more fractured, it is better written than the first book and its principal
themes - Expectation and Deception - are far more developed than the Anxiety/Tedium
conundrum that envelopes the Australia book. Furthermore, the numerous
pop-cultural references - both obscure and obvious - which are the cartilage
of the US book, are for the most part . . . oh forget it. You’re
right, it’s a dud.
The short answer to this difficult question is that I didn’t want
to repeat myself in the 2nd book. But for my 3rd number I’m going
back to the ‘earlier, funnier’ style.
Little Skeleton
asks:
While travelling through the U.S. a few years ago, I noticed that the
roadkill went from porcupines and seagulls in New England to big black
unidentifiable winged things and golden retrievers in the southern states.
Did you notice this too or was it just the Jolt talking?
SEAN’S REPLY
I think it was the Jolt, LS. The only bit of squash-a-rama I can remember
seeing on the whole trip was a former armadillo - although exactly why
I’m certain it was an armadillo, I can’t say.
QUESTION
Where should one stay near the Grand Canyon?
SEAN’S REPLY
Somewhere in LA.
QUESTION
How do you get to the Grand Canyon?
SEAN’S REPLY
At the risk of sounding glib, but given that I don’t know which direction
you’re coming from, I’d have to say - follow the signs (then
look for a big hole - that’s the GC).
Sebastian Brandt
asks:
My mate and I are planning to drive from LA to NY starting in late October
and ending in NY on New years Eve. As two 24 year old males we are really
looking forward to the trip. What would you see to be the cheapest form
of travel over a ten week period? How well do the buses cover small town
america.? How did you go with cars etc.
SEAN’S REPLY
Don’t take buses - you’ll miss everything and you’ll end
up stinking. Buying a car in California is much easier than elsewhere
in the US, so I’d do that. Trains are preferable to buses but less
reliable. Or investigate that U-drive deal where you deliver a car from
one city to another. Or choose 5 cities - LA, Miami, New Orleans, Chicago
and NYC - and spend 2 weeks in each and fly between Any of these options
are better than buses. Do not take buses.
Gaynor Byers asks:
Sean, Big ask I know, but while you are up in Brisbane for the Writers'
Festival would you have a spare hour or so to pop out to our local Community
Arts festival. You have so many fans and future travellers in this area
who would love to share your experiences, and maybe buy a book or two.
Please consider it and make one confirmed wanderer ecstatic. Regards Gaynor
SEAN’S REPLY
Gaynor - Where exactly is the festival? What time etc? I’ll certainly
consider your kind offer, but I am on four panels in two days, so time
will be critical. PS If you’ll supply me with 2 Cabcharges and a
can of soda, I’d be even more tempted.
Tilly asks:
Hi Sean. Did you have the misfortune of eating "Taco Bell"?
Did you hear any country music? How long did your journey take? What would
be your biggest tip for someone doing a similar journey? Did you find
any beer worth drinking? Ta mate.
SEAN’S REPLY
Taco Bell - yes, in New Mexico. I didn’t think it was all that bad,
I must say. Although the hygiene level bordered on the sterile and I don’t
think that’s good for Mexican food.
Country music - no. Absolutely not. Oddly, all through Tennessee we heard
funk and soul, while in Texas we heard nothing at all. The rest of the
time it was tapes - Neil Young and Underworld fighting for in-car airplay.
The trip took 3 months.
My biggest tip for you - and others like you - would be to read DTA. Also,
keep to the right - literally and metaphorically.
Beer - Best US beer is Jax - found in and around New Orleans.
jules asks:
ok dude, you have done what I would kill to do. Sitting at home in Berkeley
ca after my first year of college in NYC and I am waiting to LIVE a little!
I have had a good time so far, but you guys make me drool. How did you
guys do it? I mean the money is my concern. One day I will be where you
guys were- on the road of insanity in the middle of the United Fucking
States of America.
SEAN’S REPLY
Jules, do you like disco? Why are you called disco jules in your email
address? I like disco a lot - Chic, Brass Construction etc. I found out
recently that Bernard Edwards was dead - I was shocked and saddened.
Anyway - how did we do it? We just did it. We just went there, screwed
around trying to get a car, got one, then started driving. It cost a fucking
fortune, but what the hey - it was all tax deductible. That’s my
advice to you, dj; write something about your trip and write it off.
PS The roads were pretty sane overall.
Kathrine asks:
Is that Swedish restaurant still there on Hwy 1, I can't recall exactly
where but it is before you get to Carmel, good food. Now I live in New
Zealand where their idea of gourmet is adding tomato sauce to a meat pie!
Heathens.
SEAN’S REPLY
Didn’t see it but that don’t mean it ain’t there. I ate
at a Swedish restaurant once and I have to tell you, it was pretty awful.
Simon asks:
I'm going from Florida to Boston, then maybe to Texas. I won't bother
you for a long answer, but we're looking for some great destination or
event to put meaning to our trip (a kind of Mint 400, pardon my Thompson).
Any suggestions?
SEAN’S REPLY
Go to New Orleans - it’s the best city in the US. Also, if you do
end up in Texas, pass through a tiny place called Sanderson in the south-west
- there’s nothing there and it’s fabulous.
PS What’s Mint 400? - pardon my Thompson-ignorance.
Tino Leeflang
(holland) asks:
What kind of dish-cleaner do you use? and isn’t it bad for your hands?
SEAN’S REPLY
I prefer Redhead lemon scented ($2.95 for 650 ml) as the smell is delightful.
I am unconcerned about what it does to my skin as my pansy writer’s
hands could do with some toughening up.
hilde devlieger
asks:
In august, we leave for four weeks to the states. It's only our second
visit to the states so we stick mainly (and painfully) to the touristic
trapps! We would like to stay in L.A. for three days after our arrival.Good
or bad idea???
SEAN’S REPLY
I think staying in LA is a great idea - but 3 days may not be long enough.
It’s a huge and exciting place.
Jjivers asks:
Do Pattie and Slade still manage the Best Western Executive in West Yellowstone,
MT? Tell them Jesse and Steve sent you (hint: they bought my van) for
a free room.
Has the local hippie
drunk Neil ever left town, or has he "...stayed here all season"
SEAN’S REPLY
JJ - How the hell would I know? Respectfully yours, Sean
QUESTION
Has your passport been stamped ‘never to return’?
SEAN’S REPLY
No. But thanks for asking.
kester stokes asks:
hello mr condon. my friend and i hold your book(s) in the highest of regards.
and we would like to ask you some more detailed questions at some stage
if that is okay, for our fanzine which is forever coming out. it is called
ne plus ultra. if you can, you dont quite understand just how excited
this would make us. now: to ask a question for the lonely planet site:
what is your favourite "big" site you have ever visted (eg:
larry the lobster/the big grapes/whatever) and why? gratitude and lots
of admiration- kester
ps. in this zine interview
sorta buisness i am finding it increasingly hard to email folk i think
a lot of and still sound "cool". maybe this is because im not.
please talk back to me anyway.
SEAN’S REPLY
Kester - I’d be delighted. But send the questions on hard copy to
me via Janet Austin at Lonely Planet, PO Box 617, Hawthorn VIC 3122, as
I don’t have email, and am moving overseas in a few weeks. I think
ne plus ultra is a great name, by the way. What sort of stuff will you
be doing/covering?
Larry the Lobster - because he’s orange and he’s for sale. but
I don’t know how much they want for him.
Re email ‘coolness’ - I agree. When are they going to let you
have italics and different fonts and stuff. It’s so primitive.
Jeff fraiser asks:
most scenic route
from Lowell, Indiana to Yellowstone National Park in Montana?
SEAN’S REPLY
Jeff, I didn’t go anywhere near those places, I’m afraid. I
can however recommend Rand-McNally maps - they are excellent and full
of good scenic driving advice. Ignorantly yours, SC
Fiona O'May asks:
Loved the first book
(lived in Australia for a year), am off to buy the second... (been to
the States many times, and about to visit again).... any plans to visit
Europe, particularly Scotland, for a third oeuvre? (guess where I live?!
See you in Edinburgh?)
SEAN’S REPLY
Fiona, thank you. I hope you won’t be too disappointed with it -
I, for one, am not. European plans? Yes indeed - my wife Sally and I are
moving to Amsterdam in just a few weeks and I plan to scoot all about
Europe and the UK, so if I make it to Edinburgh, we’ll have a beer.
All right?
matthew saville
asks:
why are you such a tosser?
SEAN’S REPLY
Matthew
You know perfectly well that I am not a tosser, I am a loser. Proof of
this lies in the fact that I am really good at Crash Bandicoot and am
willing to go on the record about it.
I heard you got funding for one of those ‘million dollar movies’
- is this true? If so - congratulations and which script is it? The Roy
Holsdottir number? Refresh my memory - what’s it about?
roy holsdottir
asks:
why are you such
a tosser?
SEAN’S REPLY
Ask Matthew to explain.
QUESTION
In the name of gawd, Sean, what the hell's a talent like yours doing wasting
away with Lonely Planet? I hear the real money's in writing for Car Talk
these days. What do they offer to keep you their thrall? Free guidebooks?
Apron strings, Sean baby.
Oh, and how can I
get an Ask Sean sweatshirt, size XXXL, sent to my dear old dad in Fargo,
North Dakota?
SEAN’S REPLY
LP are great publishers and wonderful people to work with. I am very happy
to remain with them for all my future travel-related work. Getting an
international publishing deal is a very difficult thing - and actually
knowing your publishers is an even rarer privilege. Plus I like the free
guidebooks - they save me the trouble of actually travelling.
Re your t-shirt enquiry - I have no idea. Buy the rights from me and LP
and you can print ’em yourself, eh?
QUESTION
Hey Sean,
Congratulations on getting your hilarious misadventures in Australia published.
You have a sharp wit and I share your subversive sense of humor. I was
struck by the amount of American pop culture that you have absorbed. Are
you a typical Aussie in that respect?
SEAN’S REPLY
Probably not. I love American culture (the cultural bits, anyway) and
spend all my time watching American TV and movies, listening to American
music, reading American books, talking about American art and politics,
and wishing I’d been born in NYC or LA. Nobody in the US wishes they’d
been born in Perth, WA - and that’s as it should be. Thanks for your
congratulations.
QUESTION
Dear Sean,
How come your new book isn't as funny as 'Sean and Dave's Long Drive'?
Were you perhaps overconfident that your second book wouldn't need as
much work or as much editing, or did you struggle to come to grips with
a foreign country as opposed to drawing on a lifetime of impressions for
Australia?
SEAN’S REPLY
It’s not ‘not as funny’, it’s not as obvious.
Billy-jo asks:
hey lard man,
I'd like to shrink
my car down (like in fantastic voyage) and drive all over your fat ugly
acreage. reckon that'd make a real fine story.
SEAN’S REPLY
What on earth do you think you mean by my fat ugly acreage?
Frieda asks:
are u related to that fat guy married to roseanne???
SEAN’S REPLY
If you mean Tom Arnold, why would I be? His surname is Arnold, mine is
Condon. I am Australian, he is American. He is rich and successful, while
I am poor and stupid. Come on now, Frieda!
Jackson asks:
where can i get my nipples peerced?
SEAN’S REPLY
Get your spelling checked before you do anything else.
Biba asks:
Why are you watching TV now?
SEAN’S REPLY
Because I can.
Chris asks:
Smashing books! Sorry, I have two questions:
where did you get the idea to write books and
was it difficult to find a publisher?
SEAN’S REPLY
1. From reading them since I was a youngster and wanting to be a writer.
(It’s not really an idea though, Chris, it’s more of a thing
you either can or cannot do and one which you either do or don’t.
I’m not trying to be obnoxious, it’s just an odd question.)
2. Surprisingly easy - I played in a band with two guys from LP and it
went from there.
Sam Sheffield
asks:
I land in Atlanta July 30th and would like to drive across to LA. What
are the best places to meet people to perhaps rent a car with, and safest
places to stay if you are a girl on your own?
SEAN’S REPLY
I think the answer to both questions is youth hostels but I don’t
speak from experience as I don’t meet people b/c I’m too dull
in real life. Safety-wise, my preferred option is any 4-star hotel. Also,
carry a gun.
PS have a good trip - and make sure you go to New Orleans.
Vassilis Kyriakopoulos
asks:
Hi Sean, I am living in Greece, Athens and I am planning to travel to
US to make true a personal small dream : COAST TO COAST, USA. We are flying
mid July to JFK and plan to rent a car, drive to Miami, and then up to
LA. Do you think this is a right course ?, right time? Should we enter
Mexico? One month is enough?? What we shouldn’t miss for nothing??
Thx for your prompt answer...Vassilis
SEAN’S REPLY
Yes, it’s a very good route. But make sure you go to New Orleans
on the way to LA. One month is okay, but you’ll have to be quick,
so I wouldn’t recommend going to Mexico. When in LA you shouldn’t
miss having a hamburger at Bob’s Big Boy.
Drive carefully!
Adrienne asks:
This probably sounds like a boringly practical question, but, how much
did your trip cost? How long did it take?
SEAN’S REPLY
Around $10,000 Australian (weak) dollars - but I’m a spendthrift
and refused to drink American beer b/c of the weak alcohol content. It
took 3 months and could easily have taken 12. It’s a great big place.
Jim asks:
Are you hosting the TV show "Lonely Planet" on the Outdoor Life
Network? Thank You
SEAN’S REPLY
If only ...
Wet asks:
What about the horny babes along the way?
SEAN’S REPLY
With this fat ugly acreage?
Gina asks:
What’s an interesting way to drive from Bryce canyon to San Francisco
in AUGUST, from a limey first timer.
SEAN’S REPLY
Gina, I’m terribly sorry but I just don’t know where Bryce Canon
is. But Highway 1 from LA to SF is lovely. Good luck though - anyone who
describes themselves as a limey first-timer deserves a fun time.
Les Fuller (London UK) asks:
Sean,
What was the most disgusting food you ate in America?
Mine was a jam sandwich I made on a greyhound coach.
Are you thinking of driving around the UK? I know a few good sandwich
shops.
Les
SEAN’S REPLY
Les, you are funny. The sandwich shops crack made me laugh out loud. I
was thinking about driving around the UK - all those countries in such
a small area - but neither David nor LP seemed interested in the idea.
The fools! Worst food was Nathan’s famous hot dogs at Coney Island.
Where are the good sandwich shops?
Thaddius asks:
so how is it possible for a well to do 'journo' from a reputible daily
to band together with a long haired illustrative mogul to contain themselves
as they sift through the sauted minds of a race filled with eating and
weak beer. sure the book holds all answers but did you manage to get to
the centre of a question which manages to stump many, one which is blatantly
obvioius on approach but theoritically not consistent with a beast as
large as it is .... why are those americans so stupid? surely a diet of
sugar in buns, sugar on celluloid, sugar on the airwaves and on the box
can't be solely to blame for this universal phoenomenon...is it in the
water .....?
SEAN’S REPLY
I don’t agree with y our remark, Thad. Here’s why: Ida Lupino,
Aaron Copeland, Cindy Sherman, Johnny Mercer, Ella Fitzgerald, Cormac
McCarthy, Woody Allen, Paul Auster, Twyla Tharp, Don DeLillo, Jackson
Pollock, Joyce Carol Oates, Frank Lloyd-Wright, James Ellroy, F. Scott
Fitzgerald, David Byrne, S.J. Perelman, Thomas Jefferson, George Clinton,
Sly Stone, James Brown, Gloria Steinem, Harold Ross ... I could go on.
Schoolmeesters
asks:
limo transportation from JFK to downtown
SEAN’S REPLY
Yes?
r A z asks:
Regarding having sex with a one armed girlie, Is that scoring the jackpot?
SEAN’S REPLY
I wish I’d thought of that!
Greg Mills asks:
Is it true one can just UP AND LEAVE advertising? But what about the glamor?
The thoughtful account people? The humble and soft spoken creative directors?
The art directors with the bitchin' hair and ironic clothes?
SEAN’S REPLY
Bitchin’ hair and ironic clothes - that’s excellent and so true.
Your name sounds familiar - are you part of the evil industry, Greg? Be
honest. Anyone with that kind of insider sarcasm - ‘humble and soft
spoken creative directors’ - must be.
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