The Luck of the Irish
For wherever an 'ism' is detected, however puerile in nature, litigation will surely follow! Whether it be a suggestive remark to a female worker concerning her lunchtime banana, or, as in a recent celebrated case, a white employee suing his white supervisor for racist remarks (!?), there seems to be no level of bathos to which a 'tribunal' will not sink. It will not be long before someone is hauled before these Politically Correct (but Mentally in Broadmoor) zealots accused of walking in a manner calculated to offend Moslems; or of adopting gender-unfriendly body posture with intent.
Are we becoming so pervious to criticism that every perceived slight must be legally challenged? Other than the above-mentioned "abuse", which drove the hapless Irish academic to the arms of perfidious 'stress counsellors', the most offensive barb appears to have been a scrawled message, left on the victim's motor, enquiring "Will Mr. Gerry Adams please move his car?"
The distraught Irishman, who, despite receiving many months' sick pay, was simultaneously encouraged to work part-time at a neighbouring seat of learning for "therapeutic" reasons, felt unable to accept a personal apology; an official apology; and, probably, a great deal of demeaning begging by the college authorities.
At the same time, a real victim, whose wife had been murdered in cold blood in her own home, is obliged to fight through the Courts for derisory compensation of ú7,500! Policemen and soldiers maimed in the line of duty spend years trying to squeeze a few quid out of the government, while some squawking harridan collects a five-figure payout within weeks of being called "an ugly boot"! Where is our collective sense of values? What has become of common sense? Should not the level of injury be recognised in the adjudication of the 'quangos' and 'boards' who value a man's reputation higher than the life of his spouse?
It is a truly sick state of affairs! If a man with many years' experience of the education system is so disturbed by the childish remarks cited above, he has no business in the company of students. Surely it cannot be advisable to entrust any child's education to the sort of precious introvert who probably takes offence if you unwittingly take his seat in the canteen?
Yet this feeble individual's wounded sensitivities are apparently worth four times as much as the very real grief of a bereaved husband! Anyone who denies that this is an outrage is a 'prat' of whatever origin. When one takes into consideration the hundreds of thousands of pounds awarded to servicewomen who were dismissed, in accordance with their contracts, upon becoming pregrant, any semblance of rationale behind the compensatory process is shattered.
The assorted 'pressure' and 'minority' groups who instigate and prosecute these pathetic cases would do well to realise the harm they inflict on their selected cause. Intransigence and pettiness are particularly unendearing traits, unlikely to win any affection from a public sickened by ever-widening disparities of justice.
The 'Irish prat' got lucky. But he should revalue his priorities. And get a life instead!
As the near-hysteria aroused by milk-guzzling statues of deities in Hindu temples across the globe dies down, and the gorged figurines enjoy a well-earned rest from the semi-skimmed, there have been worrying new developments: the phenomenon is spreading!
In Parliament Square, the hitherto immobile monument to Sir Winston Churchill has been spotted after dark imbibing large quantities of port-wine; Nelson, atop his Column, has somehow got his hand on several pegs of rum; and herds of horses have fled their plinths around Hyde Park to congregate by the Serpentine for a communal drink of water.
Repurcussions will be swift. I envisage an entire new department of the Social Services, set up solely to assess the welfare needs of these statues. At the first sign of dehydration, they will be taken to sheltered accommodation for medical and psychiatric reports; prior to being released back into the community and left to fend for themselves. Outraged letters to the newspapers will demand 'additional resources' to help rehabilitate them.
Inevitably, however, there will be tragic consequences when one such as The Duke of Wellington or 'Bomber' Harris goes mad in Tesco and slaughters thirty innocent shoppers!
This weekÆs Award is presented en masse to the ten 'members' of The European Court of Human Rights (pictured left) who voted to brand as illegal the SAS wipe-out of IRA scum in Gibraltar.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the composition of this costly, hideous farrago, two-bit clerks from such centres of civilisation and democracy as Estonia and Lithuania pontificate on the application of UK Law and invariably decree that we have denied some terrorist/drug dealer/paedophile the 'right' to go about his or her nauseating business.
Accordingly, each of the following is awarded '***t of the Week':
Keep your snouts OUT of our business, please, 'gentlemen'
Nominations for æ***t of the WeekÆ to: WASP@londonmall.co.uk
In our search for the vanished stars of yesteryear, we pose this crucial question:
Whatever happened to softcore wanna-be rappers The Beastie Boys?
Last week's most plausible suggestion, relating to the disappearance of Peters & Lee: "...comperes aboard a cruise ship in the Aegean".
Suggestions to: WASP@londonmall.co.uk
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