I had a fantastic experience last week when I went for an aromatherapy massage. Brilliant. It should be available on the NHS via prescription. I've never felt so good in ages. I came out of the salon floating around, oblivious to the rattle and hum of city life that was going on around me. When I left, the Martians could have landed for all I knew. I really didn't notice anything, walking around in a daze. When I'd floated back to the car park to head home, a small kid with a skinhead was trying to break into my car, and all I could do was smile at him droopily. My face was so chilled out, I couldn't form words with my mouth, not that my brain wanted to. I just didn't care. I was gone man, real gone.
The massage lasted an hour and was preceded by a 20 minute sauna session. At first, it sounded like there was a sparrow stuck in the air vent to the sauna, but gradually, as my body became warmer and the outside world seemed further away, the menthol vapours entered my skin and I knew these sounds to be exotic island birds calling to me, calling.... The massage hour flew by, with the sounds of the waves crashing on distant shores, warm rain falling against steamy windows, and the sweet, sweet smell of lavender and rose staying with me for days. All I could feel, all I could focus on was how serene and peaceful I felt inside, deep inside, and how nice I smelt too. It's got to be an experience that more people should try. I'm certainly going back for another session of the laying on of hands next month. I've booked it already. I suppose people get their kicks in different ways and a smelly body rub may not be your cup of tea. My brother, for instance, is in heaven standing comatose in 3 feet of water in a dirty old stream, with a stick in his hand trying to land a catch of trout. He'll stand there for hours, not moving, not catching any fish, not caring. And then there's my best pal, who is travelling around the world, presently picking fruit on a farm in New Zealand. She reckons it's the best thing she's ever done in her whole 29 years and feels at one with nature and with herself for the first time ever. i'm not one of lifes great dare-devils, that's for sure. Other people like to get a rush with bungee jumping or driving their car at 95mph on the M1. Not me. Give me a nice glass of wine, some pasta and a good book and it'll make my day. When I relax, I do it totally, no half measures. Weekends see me switch off completely, feet up, hair down, chill out mode switched to max. Where other people live their lives in the fast lane, you'll find me eating my sandwiches in a lay-by off the back road. For me it's an easy life and a calm sea that I'll anchor my boat in. That's what I like. And on a calm sea, There's little chance of spilling your Guinness as you raise your glass to a smooth sailing through life.
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