LEISURE SUIT LARRY III UNPROTECT By Dr. Eddie Currie, Ph.D. My arch nemesis, Sierra, has scraped the bottom of the unprotect barrel in Liesure Suit Larry III. Since this package is replete with naked female breasts and graphic depictions of missionary coitus, I deemed that it would be sufficiently offensive to grating feminists that I should reduce my customary $10.00 registration fee to a mere $5.00. This fee is traditionally requested to defray the cost of my research. Let me take this opportunity to thank the many of you who have become registered users of my unprotect schemes. Your choice is as follows; $50.00 to Sierra, $5.00 to me (although I will certainly not discourage larger donations), or nothing. As I often point out, this last choice would be dishonest, so please refrain from that line of thought. You might prefer to think of your donation as a registration fee which will entitle you to full use of my 24 hour, 7 day a week technical hotline, and which will further entitle you to access the "Jolly-Roger" fax machine. Please send donations/registration fees to; Dr. Eddie Currie Dept. LSL3 6-157 158th Street Beechhurst, New York 11357 Technical hotline: 718-746-9069 Jolly Roger Fax: 718-767-6620 If you've sent in your donation, you have become a registered pirate, and you may call collect. If the first mate answers ask to speak with Grandmaster Zorton, my pirate handle (wink). Best of luck to ya, matie. Rather than describe the way Sierra's money-grubbing little programmers have protected their game, I have elected to merely tell you that any of the information which follows may become relevent to successful completion. The references to the manual are varied and random, but rest assured that due to my diligence, you will be able to play the game to its conclusion. The manual which you would normally have in your hot little hand if you had given Sierra $50.00 of your hard earned money (not a wise choice in my opinion) resembles the tourist brochures which abound in the lobbies of island hotels. In this case, the island is "Nontoonyt" and that is where we join our hero, Leisure Suit Larry, as he tries to bury his meatpipe. Apparently, Larry has never heard of AIDS or herpes, for he uses the women of Nontoonyt like Kleenex. He blows his nose (only it's not his nose), and discards them. If I were a feminist, or even sympathetic to any of the principles of feminism, I would be outraged. Fortunately, neither of these is the case. Incidently, I don't expect to entertain any telephone calls from disgruntled women's-lubers. In theory, you'll all be too busy boycotting pornography and burning your underwear to bother me. PAGE 1 Nothing. PAGE 2 Ad for: Punk Flamingo Disco. PAGE 3 Free Pass #00741 PAGE 4 Sierra's copyright notices (if these hadn't been so strongly worded, I might not have pursued this project with such vehemence). PAGE 5 Free pass #55811 PAGE 6 Free pass #30004. Uncle Carlos' guide to native craft. These include grass weaving, lei making, and wood carving. PAGE 7 See page 6. PAGE 8 Ad for: the Comedy Hut. Billi the Beachcombers Beach Watch column. Personal ads PAGE 9 Free pass #18608 PAGE 10 Ads for: Island computer Center, Cherri Tart, appearing in casino showroom (free pass #25695) Bippi's Island liquors. PAGE 11 Yahoo arius` dining-out guide. Free pass #32841 PAGE 12 Ads for: Chip n' Dales' all male burlesque. Freddi's feral bar-b-q. Free pass #00993 PAGE 13 Ads for: Island Office and Voodoo Supply. Panti of the month club. PAGE 14 Lyrics to Nontoonyt Nectarine Song: Never Never Ever eat nectarines washed NO! Eat Nontoonyt Nectarines Naturally When we're slurping wholesomely, we Nibble nutritiously with nectarines PAGE 15 Free pass #09170 PAGE 16 Ad for: Dewey, Cheatem and Howe Attorneys at Law PAGE 17 Ad for: Witch Doctor Appearance Center. PAGE 18 Ad for: Piggi's coffee shop Free pass #49114 PAGE 19 Jungle Joe's column on island hiking. Free pass #33794 PAGE 20 Nothing. PAGE 21 Nothing. PAGE 22 Free pass #54482 PAGE 23 Ad for: Fat City Health Spa PAGE 24 Ad for: Hurtz Rent-a-Bike.