Steve began the meeting by reminding everyone that the purpose of the Philosophy Cafe is not to teach specific philosophical theories. Instead, we should aim at *doing* philosophy ourselves by seeking to clarify and understand each other's views. We should be open-minded and not take offense if someone challenges our personal beliefs.
Alex gave a brief introduction of the topic 'What makes a family?' The idea arose out of the 'right of abode' saga which had stormed the whole Hong Kong society earlier this year. The issue made him think about 'what is being a member of a family and also a human being'. In short, what is a family and what makes a family?
First we discussed a number of possible ways of understanding the essential meaning of the word 'family'. Tom suggested that we should start with the legal status of a family, the legal responsibility of its members, etc. He also questioned whether we should see families as the focus for maintaining moral obligations. Louisa pointed out that 'family' can refer to either a biological or a social unit. And she suggested that nurturing might be the defining factor of being in a family. Anthony gave the definition that a family is basically an organization or institution that holds people together. Clifford claimed that family is all about survivability.
The conversation changed course when Michelle observed that the term
'family' has different meanings in different cultures. Some discussion
followed, concerning the different expectations or obligations different
societies have of families. For example, in Israel families tend to be
regarded as an obligation of the whole society (as in the Kibbutz), whereas
in India families are an extended unit that goes on forever and members
are supposed to take care of those within their unit. Steve then asked
what if one member of a family, such as a father, decides he has no responsibility
for the family and he does not follow whatever it is that his society expects
of him as a father? Should he
still be considered as a member of the family? When does a family stop
being a family? There followed a discussion of the phenomenon of family
breakdown and what causes it.
Grace suggested that we should keep things simple and try not to give definitions that are too complicated. When she hears or uses the word 'family', she normally associates it only with her parents and sisters. It is something basic and natural and not much to argue about.
After summarizing the discussion up to this point, Steve observed that
the local situation that gave rise to Alex's original concern with this
issue has to do largely with 'family' arrangements that are *not* generally
accepted by the society. That is, the fathers of many of the children who
were seeking right of abode have two distinct families, each with a different
wife, one in Hong Kong
and one on the mainland. We then discussed the general question of
whether polygamy and other alternative partnering arrangements can qualify
as constituting 'families'.
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