The Hugh Jampton Experience

The Hugh Jampton Experience

It's the man who likes to say "I'll have the article ready tomorrow..."...Hugh Jampton

Welcome to the first Hugh Jampton column of 2006 (hopefully the last one - ED). We have lots of exciting changes planned for the year ahead. But since I haven't come up with any of them yet let's just collapse into the usual rigmarole of the caption competition...

The caption competition

Last year I published the following piccy and asked for you to send in your suggested captions. As usual most of you couldn't be bothered, but luckily for me a couple of our most spritely readers were able to finally reach a keyboard, no doubt aided by a well placed dose of Sanatogen, and come up with something.

So lets see what was sent in...

"Tony Hawk's son Tommy says" 'I think I prefer bikes to skateboards'
John Crane

"Tony Hawk's son Tommy says" 'Why does it have to be so competitive ? Can't we just go to the skate park like everyone else?
John Crane

"Eddie the Eagle's son hoping to do for Skateboarding what his Dad did for Ski Jumping!"
John Crane

Unfortunately for John he has disqualified himself from this issue's competition as he never sent us the signed cheque we asked for last issue. Still he will be eligable to play again for this issue's competition. So what other caption(s) did we get?

"A young Evil Knevil starts out as a stunt man."
Kev Wells

"Government launches compulsory skateboarding in place of ASBOs"
Kevin Simpson

"At least I'll get a soft landing."
Steve Morton

But our winner has to be....

"He realised he would be hard pushed to make the ferry"
Ian J. Patterson

So we've been rummaging through the RISCWorld bin and found some wonderful prizes for you, including a 2 litre Pepsi max bottle with nearly a whole swig left in it and a Domino's Pizza box with some cheese stuck to the lid. Oh, and three teabags. We'll arrange to send these out in due course, unless the bin men come for them first.

Thank god that's over, now lets move on to this issue's photo...

Send your entries to hughj@riscworld.co.uk, one lucky reader will probably win nothing, but what the hell, why not enter anyway? And now a funny story...

I heard an amusing little anecdote the other day. I should point out that I have been asked (by me - ED) to stress that I don't know if this story is true or not, but it made me laugh. Some time ago at a RISC OS user group meeting someone bought along an Omega, and for a laugh plugged in a USB powered light. The light worked, which made it the first and as far as I can tell, the only USB device that will work on the Omega. The RISC OS news portal Drobe got the story slightly confused and published an article saying that USB was now working on the Omega, which it wasn't. Drobe hastily changed the article. So far not so funny you might think. Well you are right, but here is the punchline. Some time later the same USB light was apparently plugged into an Iyonix, which instead of casting a warming glow around all those present, simply crashed!

Finally, let's get this over with, then we can all go home.

Hugh's picture gallery

R-Comp in half price special shock...

New South African branch of Ikea comes clean about their products...

Meanwhile there are fears that Bird flu has spread to the United States...

Here is the new EEC approved speedometer design...

Black and Decker have now released a new range of tools for women...

And finally there is just time for a snack...

That's it, time for bed said Zebedee.

Hugh Jampton