Come in my pockets!

Since we're going to a safari park today, I'll be taking along things we might need:

Left pocket Right pocket
  • Anti-malaria pills (probably the ones that make you lose your marbles
  • Elephant gun (it fires real elephants!)
  • Tube of savlon
  • A packet of extra-strong mints, now half eaten
  • My house and bike keys on a sturdy key ring
  • Baboon repellent (to spray all over the windscreen)
  • A small goat, just for appeasing hungry lions or tigers
  • An optometrist's field kit, in case of cross-eyed lions
  • Sandwiches, peanut butter