$Unique_ID{BRK02169}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{Infertility and Depression}
$Subject{Infertility Depression conceive infertile devastated frustrated angry
guilty depressed psychological sexual dysfunction sexual activity erection
premature ejaculation jealous anger guilt support group infertility grieve
grieving}
$Volume{}
$Log{}

Copyright (c) 1993   Tribune Media Services, Inc.


Infertility and Depression


------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUESTION:  We've just learned that I can't conceive because my husband is
infertile.  He is devastated and is in a severe depression.  Is this normal?
What can I do to help him feel better?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANSWER:  When a person learns that he or she is infertile, it can indeed be
devastating.  The infertile person may feel frustrated, angry, guilty and
depressed.  Many infertile men associate their ability to reproduce with
virility and masculinity, and therefore, may begin to experience psychological
sexual dysfunction.  This may include the inability to maintain an erection
sufficient for intercourse, premature ejaculation, or reluctance to initiate
sexual activity.  Yet none of these are necessarily linked to the reasons for
the infertility.
     Many men who are infertile may consider themselves defective.  They may
become jealous of friends with children and often begin to isolate themselves
from friends and family.  You can help your husband by letting him know it's
okay to feel the anger, guilt or depression.  Be there for him and be careful
not to say anything that may enhance his feelings of guilt.  You may both be
experiencing grief over your loss of potential life.  Often couples don't
realize this grief may be equivalent to the grief people feel when there has
actually been a death.
     Both of you will likely benefit from joining an infertility support group
or seeing a mental health professional who specializes in infertility
problems.  Until your husband has had time to grieve the loss of his own
fertility, it is usually best not to suggest that you consider artificial
insemination or in vitro fertilization.
     Once the grieving process is over with, though, you and your husband can
start to explore either the processes I've just mentioned, adoption, or even
child-free living.

----------------

The material contained here is "FOR INFORMATION ONLY" and should not replace
the counsel and advice of your personal physician.  Promptly consulting your
doctor is the best path to a quick and successful resolution of any medical
problem.