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$Title{Dealing with Depression}
$Subject{deal Dealing depressed Depression restless tired sleep fatigue
fatigued symptom symptoms withdraw withdrawn withdrawing irritable
irritability child adolescence medical illness illnesses infection infections
neurologic disease diseases Parkinson cancer cancers examine examination
examinations mental treat treatment treatments psychological antidepressant
antidepressants anxiety anxieties fear fears depressive depressives suicide
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Copyright (c) 1993  Tribune Media Services, Inc.


Dealing with Depression


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QUESTION:  My bride of many years is causing me much anguish these days, and I
don't know where to turn.  While she has always been a loving woman, she has
changed.  It was gradual at first but now the problem is very noticeable.  She
won't go out any more, and won't let friends or neighbors visit.  She has
become a restless sleeper, and always seems so tired.  That's when she is not
raging around the room, being ugly and angry.  She driving me batty.  What do
you think is wrong with her and what can I do about it?  I think I am
catching her illness.  Please help.

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ANSWER:  Although a diagnosis of this sort really requires a good history
taking session to obtain all the details, you have provided enough information
to permit an educated guess that should come quite close to the mark.  Your
wife seems to be going through a period of depression, and the ever increasing
severity of the symptoms means that you will have to do something soon.  All
of the situations you tell of, restless sleep, fatigue, withdrawing from
social activities and friends, and irritability, can be seen in depression.  A
good medical history could possibly reveal other clues to the depressive
state.  Certainly if she experienced any episodes of depression in her younger
days, in adolescence for example, the probability that this is now her
diagnosis is increased.
     However, depressive symptoms may also be the first warning signs of true
medical illnesses, such as chronic infections, neurologic diseases such as
Parkinson's and even some types of cancers.  Obviously, a thorough medical
examination is necessary, and you will have to be the motivating force.  It is
obvious that your wife's present mental state does not permit her to make all
the proper decisions, and she probably won't share your desire for medical
care.  Yet it is most important, for medical or mental depressions do not
disappear on their own.  And there are treatments available for both that can
dramatically change the picture.  A complete workup is the recommended route
to establish the diagnosis and dictate the appropriate therapy and treatment.
Besides psychological treatment, physicians today have a wide choice of
antidepressants which can be tailored to fit almost every situation.  Many of
them can work their benefits with but a minimum of undesirable side effects.
     You have two other obligations in this situation.  The first is to
maintain your own equilibrium.  Yes, depression can some times seem to be
infectious, as you allow your wife's perceptions of reality to influence your
own thinking.  Drawn into her shrinking world, bordered by anxiety and fear,
you too may be cut off from the social relationships that make for healthy
living.  You must maintain your contacts with friends and neighbors, or better
yet, any members of your family who live close enough to be of help.  Many
depressives will act more rationally when several people are present, and your
task of convincing your wife to seek the care she needs may be accomplished
with a bit more ease.
     The second task is a crucial one.  Depression is often linked with ideas
of suicide or recurrent thoughts of death.  Suicides and even accidents are
more common in depressed individuals, and account for a large percentage of
deaths.  A depressed person can become very cagy in hiding these feelings, or
concealing their intent.  That puts a caregiver in a very precarious position,
as maintaining a constant guard is fatiguing and sometimes impossible.
Getting your wife into proper care is therefore a most important priority for
her health and yours.

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The material contained here is "FOR INFORMATION ONLY" and should not replace
the counsel and advice of your personal physician.  Promptly consulting your
doctor is the best path to a quick and successful resolution of any medical
problem.