$Unique_ID{BRK00580}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{Lost Love}
$Subject{love sadness medicine Community Social behavior behaviors lifestyle
lifestyles}
$Volume{Q-23}
$Log{}

Copyright (c) 1991-92,1993   Tribune Media Services, Inc.


Lost Love


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QUESTION:  After giving my boyfriend all there was of me and my love, he left
without an explanation or even a good-bye.  I am left feeling empty and
worthless.  I know I can get lots of advice from other columnists, but they
are just words.  Surely a doctor must have some medicine, some pill to help me
through this terrible time?  Won't you please help me?

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ANSWER:  If I tell you that you are not alone, it is not because I am hoping
that misery likes company, but to make you realize that everyone reading this
column and your letter can remember a similar experience in their lives.  We
have all suffered the almost unbearable pain of losing the affections of a
loved one in the manner you describe; yet look around, we are all still here,
and the wounds have healed and become less painful, more bearable.  You seek
medication from me as if it could be a magic cure, and that is just not
possible.  I dread when my patients become dependent upon chemicals to blunt
the normal emotions and feelings that are a part of daily living.  It seems so
easy to "pop a pill" and feel better, but the trap is there; and soon we use
the same way out when an expected job promotion does not materialize, or when
the term paper we labored so long on comes back with a "C" instead of the "A"
we felt we deserved.  Living these days takes just a bit of courage, and the
firm belief that things do change and we can make them better if we work at
it.  I don't know how Ann Landers might handle your question, but I suspect
she may share my feelings.  You are far from worthless, and if you were here
I'd give you a big hug, hoping that might rekindle your own self esteem, but
the only medication I have to prescribe in your case is "Time".  It has cured
more cases like yours than all the pills on the Pharmacy shelf.

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The material contained here is "FOR INFORMATION ONLY" and should not replace
the counsel and advice of your personal physician.  Promptly consulting your
doctor is the best path to a quick and successful resolution of any medical
problem.