$Unique_ID{BRK00326}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{Battered Women:  Caught in a Trap}
$Subject{battered women marriage beating Community Social feelings emotions
abused abuse abusive wife beating violence violent behavior behaviors attacks
pregnancy fear retaliation domestic beating tension remorse repentance}
$Volume{Q-23, O-23}
$Log{}

Copyright (c) 1991-92,1993   Tribune Media Services, Inc.


Battered Women:  Caught in a Trap


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QUESTION:  It seems that every day there is another story in the newspaper
that tells of a woman being beaten by her husband or boyfriend.  I am deeply
touched by the misery that results from such situations, but can't help
wondering why these poor women stay with these beasts.  Surely, all they have
to do is to get out to protect themselves.  Why do they stay?

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ANSWER:  These are complex situations, dealing as they do with human feelings
and emotions, which are different in each case.  I am sure many people feel as
you do, but unfortunately "wife beating" usually does not start at the
beginning of the relationship, but rather after strong ties have developed
that can include the presence of children.  The tragedy can occur in families
from all walks of life, the rich as well as the poor.  And it is pure fiction
that some women "ask for it," as there is nothing specific in the actions of
these women that seem to provoke the violence, and nothing they can do to
prevent it.  In many cases the attacks begin during a first pregnancy, when
the man feels threatened by the new life that now occupies the feelings and
attention of the woman, attentions that up until then were his exclusively.
Although his remorse is acute after the battering, with promises and even
actions of love and consideration, they occur again with cycles of increasing
tension, a beating, and periods of remorse and repentance by the batterer.
The woman is caught in the trap of this pattern as she hopes that the
situation will change for the better and remain that way.  Once the protective
environment of the home is broken, battered women doubt that any place is
safe.  In many cases, the woman has no financial resources necessary to make
that break, particularly when there is no supportive family to turn to, and
when there are children who must be clothed and fed.  With the threats of the
man still ringing in their ears, they fear retaliation if they show any signs
of leaving.  Education may be an effective help as these victims learn that
domestic violence is against the law, and are helped to identify the resources
available in our society to assist them escape from their living hell.

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The material contained here is "FOR INFORMATION ONLY" and should not replace
the counsel and advice of your personal physician.  Promptly consulting your
doctor is the best path to a quick and successful resolution of any medical
problem.