In my role as Safety
Consultant to the Stars, I work with a number of clients that could fairly
termed difficult. But perhaps the biggest challenge I face is macho Mickey
Rourke. His obsessive, Hemingway-esque campaign to confirm his masculinity
is well-documented and, as his personal safety consultant, I find he presents my
greatest challenge. I've managed thus far to keep him out of harm's way in the
boxing ring but I was not so successful when he decided to go on safari in
Africa. Before he left, I schooled him thoroughly in the proper, safe handling
of a rifle but those lessons were soon forgotten when he found himself being
charged by an annoyed water buffalo. As he turned to run, his gun discharged,
cleaning severing his left earlobe. Now, you and I might consider ourselves
lucky, losing only an earlobe in such an incident but as an actor, Mickey's appearance
is vital to his career. Fortunately, we found an enterprising plactic surgeon
who was experimenting with a new technique, the uvula graft. He removed the lower
two-thirds of Mickey's uvula and successfully grafted it to the bottom of his
ear. The work is almost undetectable and Mickey's career continues unabated.
Things worked out for Mickey but you might not be so lucky. So, hunters, please
be careful! From Hollywood, this is Sara saying...Stay Safe!
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