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Next Issue: June 15, 1997Back Issues - Click Here

Special 100% Chick Schtick Issue


Feature Essay
Feature: The Meaning of Martha
Like many former members of my cult, I still can't have sex if I've just changed the sheets. That's right, I'm a recovering member of Martha Stewart's cult of home perfection: Garden's Gate.While the road to hell may be paved with good intentions, the road to Garden's Gatehood is paved with good directions.

Since that little mishap in California, I've been feeling left out. The resulting media attention has focused on millennium apocalypse groups while my former cult is completely unacknowledged. Disguised as a lifestyle improvement empire, Martha Stewart Enterprises is slithering into the homes of innocent Americans. As leader of the cult of impossible home perfection, Martha is trying to do us all in.
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Mo' Chick Schtick Cartoon

Headline: Mo' Chick Schtick
Men can be so oblivious, so unselfconscious. My desk at work is located on the path to the restrooms. Next to my desk is a pile of newspapers and magazines. Men stop by, flip through the stack, tuck something interesting under their arm and head for the stalls. I can think of no better way to announce, "I'm about to go sit on the toilet for a loooong, looong time!" Would a woman do this? No way! Maybe because men usually stand, rather than sit, when they visit the powder room, it's more of a special occasion to sit. Like riding in an airplane, it calls for reading material. (HL)
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Mudflap Pinup Girl: Sex AdviceHeadline: Mudflap Girl's Hit and Run Sex Advice
Ok, ya'll, this is it. I know the Chinese think it's the year of the . . . well, whatever the hell rodent it is this time, but given all the mail I've received recently, the web pages I've seen, the Jenny McCarthy hysteria, and the trends in fashion, I'm here to tell you it's really the Year of the BIMBO!

Just look around. My god! Bimbo Software, Bimbo bread, Bimbo the alternative chick band, Brad Pitt-BIMBO of the Year, Bimboboys-the web site, Noise Bimbo the punk band, Bimbo the European clothing line, the Bimbo sisters in San Francisco, Bimbo Fu (no, I will not explain), and BRAINLESS BARBARIAN BIMBOS! the movie. What the hell is going on? Why now! Why the Bimbo-Mania?
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Barbie DamageHeadline: Barbie Damage><IMG HEIGHT=5WIDTH=50  border=0 SRC=

We've all heard about the image problems brought on by Barbie's monstrously unfair proportions. I'm still reeling from the realization that I already HAVE my adult body and am not going to receive another helping of chest. But I actually have tender childhood memories of how I lovingly dressed my Barbie, so I hold no ill will toward her or her creators. She was a toy and I got the picture-eventually. I'm more bummed out about the fact that I didn't keep that original Barbie, inflexible of limb though she was, which would be worth a bundle now. I wouldn't exactly be on living on easy street but I'd at least be living in that vicinity-maybe Comfortable Court?
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ComixHeadline: A Revealing Dream

(Editor's Note: What happens when "the hardest working man in show business" takes his act into the bedroom? Find out in the special 15 minutes' comic "A Revealing Dream".)

Cartoon of Caribbean Skeleton with Newspapers

Headline: Don't Just Read Us, Write Us!

We’re accepting submissions for a wide range of writings. We have several basic options---all of which pay cash-ola! First is the "15 minutes essay," which is each issue's longest piece. The topics vary greatly from issue to issue. A second choice is the "15 minutes Short Story," our contribution to the world of fiction. And finally there are our regular columns. See below for descriptions of each category. By the way, we only accept submissions via e-mail. Please list the type of submission in the subject header. Thanks.

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©1996, 1997 15 minutes Press. All rights reserved.
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PUBLISHER: Benjamin Serrato
MARKETING: Laura Cisneros Quin, Dan Horowitz
ONLINE MARKETING: Robert Manning

WEB DESIGN: The Experts Internet Marketing & Web Site Design

CONTRIBUTORS:
Diane Dean-Epps, Anna Hanks, Britton Jackson, Harper Lee, Cari Marshall,
Mudflap Girl, Elizabeth Roen, Ann White, Penny Van Horn