"It rode out from the desert into a small town, only to have some local goons come gunning from it. It wouldn't have any of it, and gunned them down before they could even draw their pistols. It then set up shop in town, awaiting the goons' friends, who were sure to arrive--with a lust for revenge!"
Shot of Old West-esque post office wall: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE: THIS COLUMN"
The reward for naming this column could be a whole gaggle of unsold
Batman
and Robin video tapes, perfect for making rewritable again with a strip
of scotch tape. cleaning up around the kitchen and bathroom. Seriously
folks, we are looking for a new name for this column. Please submit your
suggestions to Deadpool directly. If we pick your title, you'll be rewarded.
With what?!? Well... we're still not quite sure yet...
"The Phantom Menace" teaser poster on Tuesday's Entertainment Weekly...
Obviously by now you already know that both the SW1 trailer and the teaser poster will be released November 20th everywhere (and we do mean everywhere.) What you don't know is that ET will showcase some new pics form the movie on tomorrow show. Will it just be the teaser poster or scenes from the trailer? Tune in tomorrow...
My Summer '99 Prediction
Guess who will be laughing all the way to the bank next summer? Sony, I say. Will they have another winner with Adam Sandler's next movie Big Daddy? It's already been scheduled for a summer berth for a while now, but with The WaterBoy making $39 million in its opening weekend Sony looks like they've got psychics on the payroll for greenlighting this one. With its nice, cozy summer release date this movie could do even bigger business. The A-List is this SNL's alumni's next target (even though I feel he has already reached it) and he could easily become the next $20 million dollar man. A part in Scorsese's Dino (playing Joey Bishop) could transform his comedic image into that of a real dramatic actor.
Scene-stealing Rob Schneider, the crazed cajun football fan, will also
have a part in Big Daddy. He will play a pizza delivery man who
hangs out at Sandler's house while he should be doing deliveries.
Trailers of the Winter: Part Two (The December Releases)
Studio Marketing execs, your time has come again for your report card. Listen carefully: these reviews are from the people. Sharp those pencils, open your notebooks, this is what they thought of your work:
Psycho
"The Psycho trailer is art. It can't even be compared to most trailers...it has set a new standard, as the marketing compaign for the film has done as well. Nice to use some brain power for a change." [Review provided by 'R. Reid Waase'.]
"Rather cool, I must say. It definately looks like they're going to do something new with this movie and not just a straight paint by numbers remake. The creepy music video shots and the fave of Vince V. in a white room: 'this is the face of Norman Bates' etc. It was just very cool. The only problem with this trailer that I can see is that it won't make much sense to those who have never seen/heard of PSYCHO. I can see people watching this trailer with a blank look on their face and saying 'Who is Norman Bates? Is this a Levi's ad?' The trailer works precisely because it promises a different perspective on film's most famous fictional serial killer (excluding Dracula and Mr. Lector, who's a bit more recent and therefore doesn't count. I mean, can you see a trailer 40 years from now going 'this is the world of Hannibal Lector' and people jumping up and down going 'omigod it's SILENCE!'?) Anyway, the trailer worked for me. I think it also worked for a lot of people who were upset about the remake of PSYCHO. If PSYCHO does well, we may see Hollywood imitating this campaign on 'let's remake classics and get rich quick projects'. Actually no, this trailer is too original." [Review provided by 'Siobhan Carroll']
"Didn't do much for me. Vince Vaughn didn't seem particularly scary or creepy and I don't have the obsession with the original that a lot of film lovers seem to. It took the wrong slant in my mind as well. Anthony Perkins was creepy because he was so nice, and innocent and helpful most of the time until he flips out. It helped the premise of two separate personalities considerably. Vaughn seems to be painted as a wacko right from the start."[Review provided by 'CH'.]
For myself, it redefined the concept of a trailer. Moving along...
Prince of Egypt
"Spielberg has, once more, earned his godhood. Get this man his laurels and a throne. Starts off with Moses being sent down the river to the Queen of Egypt and her first born son, Ramses. Cut to their early adulthood in a chariot race, Ramses saying, 'Second born, second place!' Ramses becomes Pharoah, Moses learns who he is. The special effects are fantastic, you see the frogs and locusts descending on Egypt, you see a pillar of fire as a sign from God. This could be Dreamworks's best by far. They even show a preview of Moses parting the ocean: He slams down his staff, and the water rises into two massive tsunamis, holding in place. At one point, you see a whale watching the people cross. Only one word can describe it: Magnificent. Pardon the expression, but this is a religious experience." [Review provided by 'GreggHL'.]
"This is the last of the trailers that I vaguely remember... Ok this one basically showed babies, miracles... well it's basically a remake of The 10 Commandments. It seems cool, there is the scene with Moses splitting the seas and it look amazing... do I think it has a chance come Oscar time? I dunno, because it is essentially a remake! Well the trailer isn't anything special, but the animation is cool, I hope the songs will be cool. I've heard that it's very adult-oriented, but the trailer makes it look very kiddy if you ask me. Will it beat Antz or Mulan? I dunno... Well, this trailer wasn't too cool... so I guess I'll give it a very average 2 out of 4 stars." [Review provided by 'FinnScot'.]
"Despite the heavy buzz surrounding this flick, while watching the trailer, with its songs, barbie-doll characters, and animated set-pieces, the 'Disney rip-off' bells started to buzz in the back of my head. That is, until the plague of locusts descends, Moses looks up at the sky in terror, and a voice intones, 'There shall be a great cry in all of Egypt....' Will certainly be a treat for animation fans, but will it sell to a mainstream audience?"[Review provided by 'The Prankster'.]
"Now, I've never been one for preachy, sappy religious movies. The Greatest Story Ever Told, my left one. PoE, however, has my interest so badly I'm actually foaming at the mouth in anticipation. The trailer shows basically the origin, with baby Moses being put into the Nile, and plucked out by Pharoh's daughter, yadda yadda. It goes on to show many cuts, showing Moses's growing up, Moses learnin his heritage, Moses demanding his people's freedom, and I must say, Val Kilmer seems to be doing an EXCELLENT job (read: If the whole movie is as good as the trailer, we just might see the first voice talent nominated for best actor!) And then... The trailer culminates in the parting of the red sea. I've heard it took two years to create just the ABILITY to do this sequence, and my god, it shows. It's easily the most beautiful, awe-inspiring thing you'll ever see on screen. PRINCE OF EGYPT will kick ass. I gah-ron-tee." [Review provided by 'KarnageGOD'.]
"Absolutely incredible! The animation is on par, if not beyond anything Lord Mouse has done recently. If Dreamworks can pull this off as an event film, like Disney could do with a still, black and white photograph of a turd, they could very well establish themselves as the new kid on the animation block to beat. The music was average, but that's the only downside I could see. The parting of the Red Sea gave me the same goosebumps I got when I first saw Titanic sink (before the 13-yr old Leonardo fans got hold of it). I am DEFINETELY looking forward to this one!" [Review provided by '5minutes'.]
I'm still having goosebumps after seeing that trailer. Can't wait for the movie. Looks much more different than a typical Disney film.
You've Got Mail
"Not bad. Looks like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are trying to recreate the Sleepless in Seattle thing, and it shows just a little too much. Still interesting, tho. My girlfriend and I are already planning to see it. " [Review provided by '5minutes'.]
"It looks just like Sleepless in Seattle 2. Lots of scene of them passing each other unknowingly, as Hanks' character frequents her coffee/book shop. But not too impressive, in fact, one of the people I was with voiced aloud the SiS 2 comment." [Review provided by 'Thuran22'.]
"In the middle of it, though I know it's a remake of a classic, I thought it might follow the same line as Sleepless in Seattle with Meg and Tom in love, but not meeting. In this, Meg and Tom just started to irritate me a little bit. Isn't Parker Posey supposed to be in this movie? Was that her in the one scene of the trailer? I couldn't tell, and Meg and Tom's names were the only ones listed from the cast at the end of the damn thing. I mean, I'm sure I'll see it, but, good God, it's another damn Meg and Tom-palooza, according to the trailer. What is it that makes this film any different from Sleepless? You can barely tell from the trailer." [Review provided by 'Benjamin Jeffery Carr'.]
My professional opinion: this trailer sucks. Its not funny nor romantic. Warners still sucks at
doing trailers, they should take notes from Universal's Meet Joe Black trailer.
Star Trek: Insurrection
"Star Trek may be dying, but it's going down with dignity. Patrick Stewart is a fantastic actor, and he does it again here. Don't see much, but you see an impressive scene where a Defiant-class ship buzzes over the ground, sending dirt and trees throwing in it's wake." [Review provided by 'GreggHL'.]
"You know the drill. Picard and co. get involved with a 'fountain-of-youth' world and have to save it from evil Starfleet types and some space pirate baddies in a very big ship. This certainly looks like a highly action-charged flick, but my question is, what Starfleet officer in their right mind is gonna go up against Picard...the man who defeated the Borg TWICE?!?" [Review provided by 'The Prankster'.]
"It looks like the old 'perfect world is in danger' script to me. Like the one for Generations, except that instead of a star system being endangered, it is the wold itself. Doesn't look too impressive to pique my interest like First Contact did, but I'll go see it nonetheless, 'cause I love starship battles." [Review provided by 'TK'.]
As a second generation trekkie, I'm excited by this movie. As a movie fan I'm bored with the trailer. The new trailer isn't that good either. This is supposed to attract non-trekkies to come see it? Now that's a real Mission: Impossible for Paramount.
Mighty Joe Young
"You can never have enough monkeys, I always say. And they can never be too big. The animation they use on Joe is impessive. Let's hope Bill Paxton can have a career after this one." [Review provided by 'GreggHL'.]
"You know how you drive by a car crash and just have to look? Well this time I'm resisting the temptation. The trailer gives away the whole movie (of this AND King Kong), and contains one of the dumbest looking apes ever filmed. I consider this to be Congo, increased in size and crappiness exponentially. One high point: Charlize Theron. YOW!" [Review provided by 'Hollyfeld'.]
"What starts off as looking like a remake of King Kong, except with a smaller ape, ends up looking EXACTLY like a remake of Kong, except with a smaller ape. His name is Joe, and about the only thing going for him is that his best friend is Charlize Theron. This trailer gives away the whole damn movie, from the discovery of Joe, to his transfer to LA, and then his escape. Looks like King Kong, but no Empire State Building." [Review provided by 'Asveepay'.]
I won't comment on the trailer. I only have one question concerning the first trailer's ending: Is it just me, or is the guy who goes wacko in his car Ben Affleck?
Stepmom
"The trailer made it look like a comedy, and I think it left out everything involving Susan Sarandon dying. Misleading, but it looks a HELL of a lot better than One True Thing, at the very least. I like Susan, so this one gets a thumbs up from me." [Review provided by 'Hollyfeld'.]
"Way to practically show the whole movie (although we could have predicted most of it anyway). Of course I guess you don't walk into this kind of flick without knowing what you want anyway, and the performances look good in what we see. Susan Surandon seems to be replaying previously seen mannerisms though." [Review provided by 'Chuck'.]
"The trailer makes me want to see the film without giving away the part about Susan Sarandon's character dying, which I read. The dramatic moments of the trailer, with the missing kid and the daughter getting all upset, make me almost forget that the director brought us Home Alone and Home Alone 2. [Review provided by 'Benjamin Jeffery Carr'.]
For a tear-jerker it looks mighty funny. Roberts, Sarandon and Harris will sell the movie. My prediction: word of mouth will then spread and the movie will end up making $130 million.
Patch Adams
"Could the PATCH ADAMS trailer be any more indication that Robin Williams will do anything for money?! The damn thing SCREAMS of a DEAD POETS rip-off complete with those oh-so-not-so-funny scenes where he gets to cut loose and do his 'thing'. And then the babe falls in love with the bad-haired comedian. Yikes! To be avoided at all cost."[Review provided by 'TPFilmworks'.]
"It looks almost like 'Jack Goes to Med School' instead of Williams' character dying at the end of that movie - Williams plays a med student who believes that treating patients, not diseases, is important. Bob Gunton (the bad lieutenant, I mean, uh, warden from Shawshank Redemption) plays the nefarious med school hospital supervisor who lacks a pleasant bedside manner and loathes Williams for his. Since the two men spend a good portion of the trailer screaming at each other over their clashing values, I half-expected Williams to tell Gunton he was being obtuse. But he didn't. Anyway, Williams is in his sweetly comedic dramedy mode here, putting on funny prosthetic noses and generally entertaining his ill charages. Will Gunton succeed in kicking him out of school? Will Williams teach everyone that laughter is the best medicine? Gee, I wonder. That's a tough one to figure out. But I'll be there opening day - it looks good." [Review provided by 'Oppsie'.]
"The trailer shows an exceptional fascination with clown noses. If the movie's like this, it'll become subtitled 'Tribute to Bozo'. Robin Williams looks to be doing his usual good job, although he looks a bit old for a medical student. The villain (forget the actor's name) is playing the same role he's always cast for - the small-minded, beaucratic, control-freak authority figure. Story looks good but the trailer gives it all away." [Review provided by 'CH'.]
So it's a typical Williams dramatic role. Now how can he be a medical student at forty? How can his love interest be Monica Potter? Universal needs to cut down on the drama stuff and show the laughs, if they want this one to succeed.
A Review of Woody Allen's Latest, Celebrity!
Our one solitary review of Allen's latest flick has arrived and our reviewer wasn't too pleased...
"This is Woody Allen's new movie, with his typical all-star cast
and his typically neurotic characters. Woody may have gained good will
by doing the voice for Antz, but he has become the dirty old
man we all suspected. Kenneth Branagh plays the Woody Allen character
this time, a compulsive womanizer who leaves one babe (Famke Janssen)
for another (Winona Ryder), who in turn, is unable to be faithful to him.
Like his previous, this contains lots of fairly crude gags and the big
shocker is that Leonardo diCaprio is trying to go against his romantic
leading man image by playing a druggie Johnny Depp-like character. The
first time we see DiCaprio, he's beating his girlfriend (Gretchen Mol)
up and he doesn't do much else besides snort coke and swear. He says
the F-Word more times than Al Pacino in this. Charlize Theron also
has a very hot dancing sequence--she plays this orgazmic (every part
of her body turns her on) and she starts dancing with this black dude and
humping him right on the dance floor. Don't expect lots of skin,
it's mostly just embarrassing.
I might say this is the worst major movie this year, right behind
Hard Rain and Dangerous Beauty."
[Review provided by 'SmartAss'.]
Also: Very Bad Things Reviewed
"I saw a early screening of this film. Not a test screening since the audience wasn't asked to grade it, which is odd since it still doesn't open for another month or so. The film (for those that don't know) is about 5 friends who go to Vegas for Jon Favreau's bachelor party. During the drunken/drug induced frenzy, the hooker hired by Christian Slater is killed. Panicking the buddies decide their only option is to cover up the crime. I don't want to give away any other details from the film other than to say it is THE most shocking, disturbing, and laugh-out-loud funny movie I have ever seen. I have never felt so guilty as I did during this film. Horrible, evil things happen, I laughed and I felt so bad that I found them funny. The screening was evenly divided amongst those that were so disturbed they hated it, and those so disturbed that they loved it. The acting was superb, Christian Slater was absolutely brilliant as a yuppie obsessed with his self-help mentality. He also seemed more like a young Jack Nicholson than in any other movie I've seen him in. The script deserves an Oscar nomination, I doubt that it will get one because of its shockingness, but it was one of the best scripts I've had the pleaseure of watching. The direction, while not great, is very good for a first time director (Peter Berg of Chicago Hope, who also wrote the script). Go see this film, just be prepared to cringe alot and to feel incredibly guilty afterwards." [Review provided by 'Pirate Bob'.]
A Request to Anyone in the Biz...
I'm looking to conduct some email interviews with people working in various areas of filmmaking. While I would love to interview screenwriters or directors, I'd also like to speak with special effects people, editors, musicians and those involved with how movies are developed, produced and marketed. I'm thinking of a '20 questions' type of format for the interview, and if you want to be kept anonymous for fear of industry reprisals I can accomodate that. I'm looking to get the story behind the movie-making experience out and into the open. If that interests you email me at my address below and I'll be in contact.
Corrections Dep't
In last week's issue I mispelled the name of the reviewer of Meet Joe Black. Her pseudonym is
'Oppsie' and not 'Oopsie'. Oops. Sorry for the error!
Stay Tuned...
That's All Folks...
Jean-François Allaire (a.k.a. 'Deadpool')
deadpool@corona.bc.ca.
Contributing Content Writer
Coming Attractions
Previous issues of Deadpool's column are also available.