Ok, yeah -- that's me in "Vanity Fair". I'm a "scourge".
The new Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair hit the stands this weekend and already the magazine is selling out in L.A. Contributors to CA are telling me people in Hollywood snap this puppy up like it's this year's high school yearbook. In a way it is, since the magazine features dozens of unconventional photospreads of who's who in tinsel town.
So how the hell did I get in there with a pocket protector?
Well, it's an interesting story. I talked a bit about it in the February 4th Director's Cut. It was an interesting adventure, to say the least. Anyway, we wound up doing two fashion shoots. The first one was in a L.A. restaurant that's got a bit of a rep with the local wiseguys, so naturally we dressed like the best. Armani suit, styled hair, da woirks. I even had the lucky break of having a gorgeous actress handing me her headshot on the sly in the photo. I was looking fabulous, darrrhling.
Skip ahead to the second photoshoot and the PowerNerd motif. Looking back I felt a bit uncomfortable doing this and wondering how the hell it'd turn out. Going from Armani to Bic in sixty minutes was a bit unsettling. Nevertheless, Sam Jones' crew did their best to geek us out. And now looking at the magazine and my polyester designer threads (highlighter by Calvin Klein, don'tcha know), it turned out ok.
(OK -- so it's not with the actress and the suit. But I did get the chance to have my eyebrows professionally styled upwards in the nerd shoot, and you can't compete with that.)
It's fun. Sure I'm not underwater with Kate Winslet, but what the hell. Buuuut..."scourge" is not what I'd call my job here at CA. Digital scoundrel, movie outlaw, person with a misguided sense of direction, sure...scourge? No, not exactly.
Anyway, I'd like to thank the good people at Vanity Fair for deeming us part of Hollywood; that'd be Riza, Morgan, Daniel and the gang. I actually got to stay in the same hotel room Jeffery Katzenburg had just booked out of the night before. Now that's living in L.A.
Doing what a scourge does best -- a test screening report!
"My friend and I saw a test screening of A Perfect Murder on Wednesday night. The people running the screening asked if we were in the film business. My friend works for a studio. 'Of course not,' he said, 'we're accountants.' In we went. Great security, huh?
"Anyway, it's the new Gwyneth Paltrow/Michael Douglas film, and it's based on Hitchcock's Dial M for Murder. Normally I don't like remakes of classic films, but it pretty much rocked. This film started with two strikes against it for me, because I don't really like either Paltrow or Douglas, but surprise - I really dug them in their roles.
"The story...Paltrow and Douglas are Emily and Steven, an incredibly rich married couple. Emily is sleeping with David, a starving artist, on the side. Steven finds out. He tells David that he knows. (Literally: 'you're fucking my wife.') He also finds out that David is a scam artist trying to get Paltrow's money. So, Douglas offers the artist half a million bucks to kill Paltrow by making it look like a burglar kills her during an attempted robbery. Of course what happens isn't what you would expect. Lots of vicious dialogue, lots of double-crossing, lots of tension as Steven's finances start going down the toilet at the same time.
"Favorite scene: During the murder, Douglas uses not one, but TWO super-expensive cell phones to work out his part of the murder plot...he calls his office on one phone and leaves the connection open, then uses the other phone to call a phone at home so Emily will go answer it in the kitchen where the murderer is waiting to get her. Douglas does all of this while at a poker game with a table of friends. He's listening on his cell phone to his wife being killed while he's playing poker. But again, there's a twist.
"What I liked about the film: The atmosphere, the shooting - New York looks awesome. The dialogue is clever (not too clever in a Tarantino way); lots of innuendo, double entendre, subtext. (Intelligent writing does exist!) The plot, even though it's based on an earlier movie, has enough twists and turns that I didn't feel like I'd seen it all before. Really suspenseful. Douglas does the evil rich guy to a 't'.
"What I didn't like: The murder scene was really bloody, as was another scene I won't give away. I know it's the fashion, but hey, I'm old-fashioned. At least it was quick. Also, the music was great but unfortunately I think it was just a temp track.
"Overall: definitely would have been worth my money to see it. It could do really well. No idea when it comes out though."
So there you go -- a glowing review of the film, and no major plot points revealed (well, yeah, but you knew anyway there'd be a murder, so don't whine about that part of the review, alright? Jeesh!) Warner Bros. did good and Hitchcock fans won't be picking up clubbing weapons it seems. "Scourge" indeed! Hmph!
(Ok, maybe 'smart-assed', but hey, I'm rocking the boat on Friday the 13th.)
Patrick Sauriol
Creator, Chief Content Writer & Director
Coming Attractions
Got some neato items from the shoot? Parking passes, photos from the set? Poster images, or the latest hot script making the rounds?
Send them to our NEW mailing address:
Coming Attractions
FAX: (604) 517-4405
We'll do our best to get 'em on the page. (Just remember to poke air holes in the parcel if it's alive -- thanks.)
Or maybe you walked off the set with an extra tucked under your arm, perhaps?
That's why we're here.
7971 Burnfield Crescent
Burnaby, B.C., CANADA
V5E 2B8
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