"It haunts your dreams, the bastard son of a thousand journalists. With long knives for fingers, it stalks co-eds at random and takes them to its boiler room home. No matter how times the column is killed, it will always be back in the sequel..."
Shot of boiler room--POV shot--you turn a corner only to face--a natty sweater, a rumpled hat and THE COLUMN WITH NO NAME!!!!
The reward for naming this column could be a whole herd of unsold Bram Stoker's Dracula key chains, perfect for making ridiculous chain mail armor for Halloween. Seriously folks, we are looking for a new name for this column. Please submit your suggestions to Deadpool directly. If we pick your title, you'll be rewarded. With what?!? Well... we're not quite sure yet...
The Tarzan Conspiracy Theory???
Here are the facts:
A theater owner I know sent me a rumor concerning Disney. Rumor has it that Tarzan is done and they would send it HEAD TO HEAD with Prince of Egypt.
At first I was doubtful of this rumor. But recently a few things have made this rumor stand out:
-Mighty Joe Young which was suppose to counter-program POE has was surprisingly moved to December 25th.
-The mysterious test screening of Tarzan last month along with the news that Phil Collins has finished the soundtrack and was polishing the soundtrack for release in other languages (Spanish, French etc...)
-A common belief was that if Disney would release Tarzan in December they would probably shoot themselves in the foot with two Disney animated features coming out during the same month (A Bug's Life being the other picture).
Hmmm... is Disney gonna release Tarzan in December? Possibly, they have no movie slated to be release between Thanksgiving (Enemy of the state) and Christmas Day (Mighty Joe Young)... Bottom line that's not normal. Hopefully more details in the near future.
The Best of the New TV Season
The King of Queens
By far the funniest new sitcom on the air. A sort of Honeymooners
for the 90's. You might ask yourself what does this kid, me, know about
The
Honeymooners? Well I've been a big fan of early television programs
for many years. I still consider the 60's as TV's golden age. Anyway stand-up
comedian Kevin James is a good imitation of Ralph Kramden. While his wife,
played by drop-dead gorgeous Leah Remini, is a wisecracking Alice. As for
the supporting cast, Jerry Stiller simply steals every scene that he's
in. Also, James' loser friends are hilarious.
Felicity
I've only seen the pilot and I already predict this show will become
a teen cult hit. Already been herald as an Ally McBeal for the late
teen years, it's actually more of a My So-called Life goes to college
type of show. Amazing writing and a cool NYC style shown on the small screen.
Teri Russell is a great leading lady and the supporting cast looks interesting.
Bonus points for having Janeane Garofalo's voice on the show.
That 70's Show
Finally, a show set in the ultra cool 70's. I expected a Happy Days-like
sitcom which wouldn't be that funny. Boy, was I wrong or what? 70's
is rolling on the floor funny with an amazing cast. The brain child of
the Turners, who created 3rd Rock From The Sun, which shows that
they are the hottest comedic creators on the small screen. Very much reminiscent
of their big screen movies, Wayne's World and The Brady Bunch
Movie, That 70's Show is both a satirical and realistic
look at the 70's. Topher Grace is a great lead actor, can't wait to see
that guy on the big screen. Laura Prepon is the next Alicia Witt and the
rest of the supporting cast is incredible. The show which has been renewed
for the rest of the year could be the sleeper hit of the season. If Fox
would move Ally McBeal to 7pm on Sunday, they could possibly win
the night with the X-Files at 9pm.
Jesse
The best new debut by a Thursday Sitcom in a LONG TIME. After making
the lousy Veronica's Closet, the Friends trio Crane/Kauffman/Bright
created a funny/touching sitcom that has great potential. Christina Applegate
beautifully plays the anti-Kelly Bundy, a single mom named Jesse. The supporting
cast lead by Antonio Banderas-wannabe Bruno Campos has great potential.
George Dzunda, a Bruckheimer regular (from Dangerous Minds, Crimson
Tide) who plays Jesse's dad, finally gets a chance to show his great
comedic side. NBC should sign him to do his own sitcom.
Q & A
"Saw a complete lack of L.A. Confidential in your list of favorite movies for '97. What's up with that?? Other than that, no problems here (except for maybe Jackie Brown, but I'll keep my mouth shut)."- Jonathan Meyer
Good question Jonathan, I've received the same feedback quite a few times this week. First of all I didn't see L.A. in theaters. I waited for the video release, and I know, I know that was stupid of me. I did like the movie once I saw it. Crowe and DeVito were great and the storyline was incredible. Still it wasn't top 10 material for me. Maybe when I'll look back at my list a few years down the road, I'll go "What the heck was I thinking?" Till then L.A. is tied with Face/Off at #10.
Good Morning Mr Reader,
Your mission should you choose to accept it is: review the fall movie trailers
and send your critiques to DeadPool for a future column about the trailers the fall/winter of '98.
Which trailers in particular are we talking about here? Meet Joe Black, I Still Know What You Did Last
Summer, Psycho, Prince of Egypt, A Bug's Life, Stepmom, The Siege and Star
Trek: Insurrection, for starters!
Stay Tuned...
That's All Folks...
Jean-François Allaire (aka 'Deadpool')
deadpool@colba.net
Contributing Content Writer
Coming Attractions