Dear Rachael 3/99 answers letters from a couple of crossdressers with questions and then presents a letter with a theory about why we do what we do.
Dear Rachael 2/99 has advice for a TG who thinks she is attracted to another TG. The problem: she's marrried. A mother worries about her son and wants to know if there are understanding health care givers out there. Fascinating questions and clear answers from the world's number one TG advice columnist. Send Rachael a question of your own!
Dear Rachael 1/99 has advice for a young woman whose boyfriend is having sexual difficulties. The questions aren't easy and neither are the answers. Rachael also tries to help out an FTM who wants to learn more about transsexualism in women. Read Dear Rachael and see if any of the questions are the same as yours. If they're not why not send Rachael a question of your own?
Dear Rachael 12/98 has advice for the young crossdresser who's just coming out for the late bloomer who is heading for gender reassignment... maybe a little too soon and you won't believe what she says to "Ken" the married "admirer." Read Dear Rachael and see if any of the questions are the same as yours. If they're not why not send Rachael a question of your own?
Dear Rachael 11/98 has more good advice this month. If you are transistioning and want to try dating men does that make you gay? Is that a good idea? How do you think that nice man you met at the singles bar will react when he learns about what's under your skirt? Read Dear Rachel and get some good advice.
Dear Rachael 10/98 The world's number one TG advice columnist gets a very interesting question from a TG whose wife has finally allowed him to dress: What next? Thinking about dressing up for Halloween? Rachael is asked for advice about how to do this without outting yourself...
Dear Rachael 9/98 A young man's cache of lingerie is discovered by his girlfriend while a 43 year-old is just beginning to cope with a new life after 19 years of marriage. Helping them both as well as several others with real life problems is TGF's Advice Columnist Rachael Dettmer who give them real solutions to their troubles. She is the best in the world. Read her this week again and see why.
Dear Rachael 7/98 A married person wants to get back into the dating scene. Another wants to know the purpose and reason for their cross-dressing. And more. Interesting issues and problems answered by the world's number one online TG advisor. By Rachael Dettmer.
Dear Rachael 6/98 Looking for solid well thought out advice? Then you've come to the right place. Rachael shares it with us again this month. Real world advice for real people like us.
Dear Rachael 4/98 A man goes with his wife into counselling and has an experience that may be all too common. A shopaholic confesses and an excellent explanation of the history and issues involving Klinefelter Syndrome. A terrific column by the world's #1 TG advice columnist. By Rachael Dettmer.
Dear Rachael 3/98 A married person wonders what will happen to the relationship if she transitions and a young man wants to know how to meet transgenders. Great questions great answers from the world's best TG help columnist. By Rachael Dettmer
Dear Rachael 2/98 The world's best TG advice column again shows why write and trust her. A new person ready to have SRS right now brings out her thoughts while a very frustrated man cannot understand why his letters go unanswered. Surviving in the real world. By Rachael Dettmer.
Dear Rachael 1/98 It's a kind of tough love that Rachael suggests to a woman whose lover refuses to compromise with her. In the real world being "politically correct" can be a cop out for saying what must be said. More from a TG struggling with telling his mother the truth and other interesting mail is answered by TGF's advice columnist par excellence.
Dear Rachael 12/97 Our advice columnist has a toughie this week: a person who wants to tell her mother what's going on but just doesn't know how or what the reaction will be.
Dear Rachael 11/97 The world's number one TG Advice Columnist talks to one person in a great hurry to have a sex change while another correspondent wonders about being a male lesbian. Many fascinating questions this month handled with aplomb and plain speaking. Always a mus
Dear Rachael 10/97 Can being TG being cured? One of Rachael's correspondents wants to know if it's possible to stop being trangender while another wants advice about cheating on a spouse. The big things and the little things Rachael fields them all...
Dear Rachael 9/97 A lot of people with important questions this month including a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Another person messes around with hormones and a question of schizophrenia. Our fabulous advice columnist has plenty to keep her hopping this month!
Dear Rachael 8/97 our popular advice columnist shares a series of letters with a correspondent who is about to make her first big moves. Rachael's clear-headed answers help and guide. Another writer wonders about things in the community for older TGs. Always a fascinating
Dear Rachael 7/97 Is there a medication to reduce body hair? Rachael's readers come in with the answer. A reader also wants to know if hormone therapy necessarily results in breast development. Hmmm.
Dear Rachael 6/97 Our TG advisor talks to a 32 year old about transition and non-prescription feminizing products. Meanwhile another person wants to know if there is a drug for thinning out beard hair. Intriguing and sensitive.
Dear Rachael 5/97 A TV who feels terrible guilt over his secrecy and masturbatory fantasies. A police officer worried about coming out on the job. People whose relationships are in danger and those who fret about their mental health. A powerful column by Rachael Dettmer
Dear Rachael: 2/97 Vanessa and Linda meet with a couple where the wife wants to be supportive but has her limits and the husband wants the relationship to work but doesn't like being boxed in.
Dear Rachael: 1/97 our Advice columnist counsels a person in Montana who wants a friendly place to live and suggests some therapists to a person in need
Dear Rachael: 12/96 The world's premier TG advisor answers questions from a man infatuated with TGs. She wonders whether this is just sex and poses telling questions? Sleeping in a teddy. A lonely person's troubled marriage.
Dear Rachael: 11/96 Our advice columnist extraordinaire receives one of her most interesting questions ever...from her neighbor! Always real and that's why it's always interesting.
Dear Rachael: 10/96 A man remembers digesting birth control pills by accident at a very young age. Could this be the reason why..? Rachael is sensible and personable. She is the world's best TG advice columnist.
Dear Rachael: 9/96 The world's best TG advisor explains how hormones can effect one uncertain person and gives some guidance to a son-in-law who just found out his wife's dad is a TS. Real life issues and real life answers
Dear Rachael: 8/96 What happens if you try to grow breasts? Rachael Dettmer handles this quite interesting question and many others in her outstanding advice column. Dealing with family and helping people sort out big decisions. You may see some of yourself here.
Dear Rachael: 7/96 tells it very straight to a TS in a small town. An Italian TG wants to know if there are others like her and a young person is confused about his sexuality...or is he? Always one of the most interesting columns in TGF. By Rachael Dettmer.
Dear Rachael: 6/96 A cop tries out the lingerie and eventually learns more about cross-dressing. A TS dilemma looms. Our advice columnist wades into the real problems that real people have.
Dear Rachael: 5/96 Our renowned advice columnist gives plain talk to a 20 year-old involved with someone twice her age and helps sort out some very tricky questions with her wonderful mixture of straightahead common sense and tender interest. Always a super-popular read...
Dear Rachael: 4/96 What to do when sex leaves the relationship? Librarians get the book on a TV. Dealing with the anger. Getting out of isolation. Transgender Forum's advice columnist.
Dear Rachael: 3/96 discusses coming out on the job and talks to real people about their real issues. One of TGF's best-read columnists returns with a full plate of solid advice for all.
Dear Rachael: 2/96 Our outstanding Advice Columnist talks to a young person who may be getting carried away and another who nearly destroyed a marriage because she became more feminine. From the heartwarming to the serious to the funny Rachael's column is filled with an in
Dear Rachael: 1/96 A person confused about herself. A young person reaches out. Another desires a sex change. Rachael talks to real people and has real answers.
Dear Rachael: 12/95 A very young person tries to come to terms with transgender feelings. Another talks about the long road that has led her to connect with the community.
Dear Rachael: 11/95 talks to people just like you. This month three transgender persons talk about their hopes and struggles with family and friends.
Dear Rachael: 10/95 talks to people just like you. This month three transgender persons talk about their hopes and struggles with family and friends.
Why Do Transgenders Seek Psychotherapy - Pt 1? There are many reasons why transgendered people enter psychotherapy. One is to meet the requirements of the medical profession and obtain the procedures they seek. The desire for sex reassignment is a powerful motivator to begin this endeavor. Therapist Barbara Anderson explains more...
Why Do Transgenders Seek Psychotherapy - Pt 2? Continuing her series of articles on why TGs seek therapy Dr. Barbara Anderson cites the myriad issues that can come up during transition. She looks at "Case Management" versus "Weekly Therapy" sessions.
Gender Reflections: Being Honest With Your Therapist Your parents told you about the importance of honesty. But does that include when you are seeing a therapist? Dr. Barbara Anderson explains the importance of honesty in a client-therapist relationship -- even when you want something from them.
Gender Reflections: Passing Revisited After getting a massive reaction to a prior column on passing therapist Barb Anderson posits that the intensity of feeling around this issue may mirror a need to assign status to people. Those who cannot pass are scorned a bias that is institutionalized and a rationale used to justify the withholding of hormonal therapy and surgery from some transsexual men and women.
Gender Reflections this week digs into the question of whether or not you should seek a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder. On the one hand it may be a benefit if you are hoping to have your health insurance cover some costs. On the other hand you may not want to be labeled as "mentally disordered." Should GID be reclassified? Would that help the community? Find out in Dr. Anderson's Gender Reflections.
In A Prison Within A Prison Therapist Barbara Anderson describes her meeting with a 55 year-old preop TS bank robber who is about to get a big time sentence for her latest crime. The motive for the heists? Money for SRS.
Gender Reflections: Past Passing It's a cruel irony but M-to-F transsexuals are no more likely to be petite hairless or have high-pitched voices than the average male. Nor does hormonal therapy prompt major feminization in a man's appearance. Many TSs simply do not "pass". But should they be denied the opportunity to take feminizing hormones and anti-androgens? By Barbara Anderson.
What Do TGs Really Want? Despite diversity in the areas of acculturation socio-economic status education and numerous other aspects of life there still remains a thread that binds and defines transgender people. Therapist Barb Anderson's commentary on a most interesting questio
The Impact of Gender Transition and Sexual Orientation In a follow-up to last month's article Dr. Anderson shows us some actual case studies from her files and how they might relate to one's sexual orientation considering a person's TG situation. Sometimes the effects on one's love life can be devastating
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity What makes one gay straight or bi? Sometimes the answer isn't as easy as it might appear. Read Barbara Anderson's exploration of this often confusing subject.
Gender Reflections: The Dilemma That Won't Go Away As a psychotherapist and a Gender Specialist Barbara Anderson has to both offer psychotherapy and play the role of a gatekeeper to services that transsexuals often want. This is unusual because counselors are supposed to be accepting nonjudgmental and supportive but gatekeeper is evaluative and critical. It's a perspective from the other side of the couch that isn't heard very often.
Gender Reflections: Hot off the Presses Barbara Anderson discusses an important new book by Gianna Israel that some believe may become a classic among helping professionals who work with the TG community.
Gender Reflections: Hot off the Presses Barbara Anderson discusses an important new book by Gianna Israel that some believe may become a classic among helping professionals who work with the TG community.
Gender Reflections: Gender-Questioning Youth There is currently a movement to remove the diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder (GID) as applied to children from the diagnostic manual of mental disorders. There is however little said by this movement about these children's real need for therapeutic support.
Guilt Shame & Secretiveness Because gender is so pervasive in one's development the TG person becomes increasingly secretive about more and more aspects of his/her. By the time the TG adult seeks therapy voluntarily he/she often describes a life marked by social isolation and low self-esteem. By Barbara Anderson.
Exiting The Closet Thinking through the process and the possible consequences are the way to make this big step a lot easier. By Barbara Anderson.
Did It Have To Happen? Every time she hears of a post-operative transsexual who commits suicide therapist Barbara Anderson wonders "Did it have to happen?" What went wrong? Was the surgery a failure? Did she change her mind too late? Did he confuse sexual orientation issues wi
A New Chapter Therapist Barbara Anderson takes on a new challenge working with people with very special TG issues.
Counseling The Partners of Crossdressers Rage and frustration with crossdressing husband's can destroy a relationship. But it doesn't have to be that way if both sides understand the realities. One of the nation's most respected family therapist offers valuable ideas to both partners.
The Other Woman Do you ever feel as if you are competing with an elusive siren? Or like a fifth wheel? Or as if your world could collapse with the flounce of a skirt (worn by your man)? These are some of the experiences confided in therapy by women in relationships wi
Counselling the Partner of a Transexual Marie was referred by her minister. She had confided to him that she believed her husband Martin "was turning into a woman." By Barbara Anderson
Be Prepared Don't be frozen with fear but don't be reckless when you head out into the world. You are probably going to be read. Here are some strong strategies for dealing with drunks the curious and the loutish.
Counselling the Partner of a Transexual Marie was referred by her minister. She had confided to him that she believed her husband Martin "was turninginto a woman." Marie was a 30 year old homemaker mother of 4. Martin was a successful young executive. She'd had no suspicions of her husband's ge
A Quiz for the card-carrying transgender individual...or everything you ever wanted to know about the world's view of transgender behavior.
A Rose By Any Other Name Well it is important to some of us but being perfect and petit is not the only way. Brittany Rose who is a statuesque person has some fresh takes on this old question. Bright writing.
Best Interest of the Children Therapist Anderson describes two fascinating cases one where the child of a crossdresser shows TG inclinations and another where a conservative wife threatens to destroy the family over the TG's cross-dressing needs. .
Best Interest of the Children Therapist Anderson describes two fascinating cases one where the child of a crossdresser shows TG inclinations and another where a conservative wife threatens to destroy the family over the TG's cross-dressing needs. .
Coming Out Barbara Anderson a therapist writes this month about coming out.
Finding Community Getting out of isolation and meeting people is no easy task for some...but it is not impossible either. Therapist Barbara Anderson discusses the experience.
Gender Ambiguity Therapist Barbara Anderson discusses some of the difficulties of having an ambiguous gender presentation.
How She Got Started Therapist Barbara Anderson writes this month common questions other therapists have about transgender people. The questions and the answers will say a lot to you...
Keeping Secrets When should a child be told? Is keeping your transgender behavior a secret damaging to your family? Barbara Anderson gives a therapist's view.
Shopping for a Therapist We have at least two realities one inner one outer. These create a constant tension for us because invariably we see ourselves somewhat differently from how we have to present ourselves in order to "get along" in the external reality. By Dr. Alycia El
Silent No More Therapist Barbara Anderson writes this month about the dissipating the aura of secrecy and shame surrounding gender issues.
Telling Children Confronting one of the toughest issues of all depends a great deal on the child's age and your attitudes. Therapist Barbara Anderson discusses this sensitive question.
The TG Consumer Your rights and expectations. Barbara Anderson discusses assertiveness versus obnoxiousness. How to get fair treatment and deal with those who don't play by the rules.
Gianna Israel
Beating Up Bullies Transwomen out in the public sooner or later have to learn how to deal with men. And we're not talking about adoring glances either! Gianna Israel's wonderfully well done article explores one's options when things get confrontational
Child Custody Issues for the Transgender Parent Of all the senseless court cases a parent might encounter none are so devastating as an interruption of that parent's ability to care for his or her child. Transgender parents which include transsexuals crossdressers and others involved in custody battles frequently face the prospect of having a former spouse or court significantly interfere with or interrupt one's ability to provide parenting. Expert help in dealing with this awful situation can be found in this important special report by Gianna Israel.
Stealth Or Purge: Returning To The Closet This month's Genderarticles by Gianna Israel could be sub-titled "The Amazing Disappearing Transsexual" or "What Keeps Goodwill In Business" but it is a serious exploration of why crossdressers purge and why TS's seem to vanish from the community when the transition and why neither is a healthy option.
The Forgotten: Transgender Prisoners Gianna Israel is here this month with a special essay on those who are too often forgotten: transgendered prisoners
Coping With The Holidays Gianna Israel takes on the Holiday Blues. The holiday season can be hard on anyone but often the season takes an even greater toll on the transgendered. Take some comfort for the season here in Gender Articles #31.
Are Therapists Trust-able? Gianna Israel explains to us how to gain obtain maintain re-tain or regain trust with our counselor should you ever feel it's been lost or never there in the first place. It's not wise to fool mother nature.
Closet Crossdresser Dilemmas Gianna Israel discusses the dilemmas faced by the closet crossdresser in this month'scolumn. Why do some people act as if we all have to come out? Why do so many of us stay closeted? Dr. Israel answers these two questions and offers sound advice. Are you thinking of purging and giving it all up? Read this column before you fling your femme attire in the dumpster.
Suicidal Feelings When things become unbearable and a person is living in deep psychological pain sometimes suicide feels like the only option. But nobody knows what exists beyond death's door and it may not be very interesting on the other side. By Gianna Israel.
Gianna Israel: Coping with Standards of Care The SOC have provided a gate keeping function for those seeking sexual reassignment. For better or worse it is all we had for many years. Some lives were saved. Other lives were lost because some people didn't fit into clinical stereotypes or wish to adhere to professional guidelines. A highly readable look at the SOC by someone who has intimate knowledge of these guidelines.
Castration Gianna Israel gives us cutting edge information on... castration. Why would "regular" guys with no transgender inclinations seek it? Find out in Gianna's column.
Gender Mirrors Many transgender men and women feel very dissatisfied when they look in the mirror. They may see remnants of their previous gender role and regret what they could not experience in their former lives. Some also feel bad about remnants of their old gen
Differtness is Who We Are Somewhere the dislike for other peoples differentness has got to stop this includes qualities in ourselves that we do not like because we see it in others. Otherwise if the process continues the person not only begins disliking differentness in others
External Homophobia Let's be honest even some of our "allies" in the gay/lesbian world don't like us very much and maybe even worse. So what do you do about it? What causes this sort of reverse homophobia? Gianna Israel examines her own history with this issue and how she learned to work through it.
FTMs vs. MTFs Gianna Israel looks at the reasons that there are sometimes frictions between these two groups of transsexuals. FTMs she says sometimes deeply resent the romantic overtures of MTFs. Conversely MTFs sometimes feel victimized by an FTM responding hostility or nervously to the advances of MTFs. Excellent writing on a most intriguing subject
Reversing Transition Why do some people decide after going through all of the heartache trials and difficulties of transition to throw it away and go back to their old birth gender? It's a topic some might not wish seeing discussed but it is a reality in this community. Giann
Gianna Israel and First Time Experiences We TGs think about first times a lot because we have so many of them: first time out in public first time out to a friend first time dressed at work etc. etc. Gianna Israel is one of the premier gender therapists and has written a delightful essay on thi
Gianna Israel Interviews Dr. Shosanna Gillick There has been a lot of heat and controversy over the definitions used by psychiatrists who work with TGs. Much of the argument has centered on Gender Identity Disorder and on whether transgender people should be in the key manual that carries this as a d
Transgender Employment Realities Some think you need to move in order to work as a transgender person but Gianna Israel has many solid suggestions for avoiding that. The reality of the work world doesn't change because we want it to things aren't always "fair". But they aren't hopeless e
Impact on Children of a Crossdressing or Transgender Parent As crossdressers transsexuals and other transgender persons become more visible within society gender issues are now touching the lives of more children. Many people wonder if and when their children should be told. Gianna Israel explores these and many
TG Etiquette Gianna Israel discusses those social details that can become very big deals if we don't know what to do. When meeting new TGs do you address them as Miss or Sir? What about their spouses. Should you ask someone their other name? What they do for a living?
Perseverance She remembers the catcalls and snubs. But she hung in there. It's a little different today but you too will probably need steel in your backbone if you take your transgender identity public...whining won't do it.
Ignorance Strategies are outlined for dealing people who know enough to know better than treat us badly but do so any way. Another outstanding and useful column by one of the nation's brightest TG therapists.
Problem Parents Your parents reject you. Completely. It is devastating but a reality to many in the community. A powerful column with excellent advice from therapist-extraordinaire Gianna Israel.
Community An extremely well written column by one of the nation's top gender therapists on the nature of our community and its' stereotypes. A serious subject but a fast read nonetheless. Well worth your time!
Embarassment & Shame It starts with a sense of uncertainty and can grow exponentially into a major debilitating attack of self-doubt. Therapist Gianna Israel describes some ways of understanding and dealing with both these issues. Clear and jargon-free info for all.
Passing Perfect Renowned therapist Gianna Israel discusses passing and how it matters and doesn't. Interesting reading from one who can spot 'em a mile away...