Mardi's Guide to Guys
By Mardi Clark
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Guys.
Love 'em or hate 'em, they're always gonna be something a Tgirl is going to have to be
prepared to deal with! Whether you're stopping by the Quicky Mart, or steppin' onto the stage at
your local version of the Queen Mary, the "eyes of man will be upon you!"---and often enough,
he'll get next to you, one way or another, and start talking---to YOU! Ya better have a clue 'cause
even tho we understand the boys better than the "girls" do, they still come in a lot of special
shapes, sizes and plumages.. So, to help you know your birds, here's a "man-guide" to the
most common varieties of the "trowsered ones" with some hints on how to attract or repel these
fellas, according to _your_ desires!
First, all guys are divided into two big groups, the population of each depending basically on
your appearance first, personality second: The bigger group (unless you're a Julia Roberts look-
alike) is always the "You're Air" men...they do not look at you, and if they do, it is right thru you.
_Studiously_ ignore them....you're too good for 'em anyway! Now, the other bunch is the
"Whoa...!" men. They are our subject du jour! Depending in part on how "T" you look, they can
vary from a regular straighty to the lowest T-Chaser. If ya wanna know about the regular straight
guys, talk to your "girl" girlfriend, ok? She's more of an expert than most any t-girl. But for the
others...well, let's take a look ....
Starting with the basically uninitiated guys comes the "Whoa, no WAY!" guy: He cannot believe
what he is seeing--he's the jaw-dropper, the bug-eyed guy mostly found outside of the T- savvy
areas. The "no way" guy soon transitions into an T-bird aficionado or into an "air" guy depending
on what's happening deep inside the musty cobwebby places where guys try and process their
feelings. Usually, tho, if they give a reaction at all, they tend to be pretty curious and if they have
the guts-- will question you to death, becoming the "Wondering Man" type...just play teacher and
enjoy the attention.
Another type commonly found in basically straight environments is the "Threatened Man".
Although he can masquerade as an "AirMan", and sometimes evolves from a "No Way Man",
usually he is easy -and important- to spot: He scowls and glares at you! This is the guy who
thinks of you as embodying all that is wrong with the world today. Oftentimes religious, always
very macho and usually an avid fan of conservative talk-radio, he can be truly dangerous. In
singles or pairs they are usually harmless, but in any sort of group--watch out, get out! The good
thing is that they are relatively uncommon outside of their typical haunts...sports-bars, working-
class taverns, etc, so they can be largely avoided by paying attention to where you go.
Related to the Threatened Man is the "Scared-to-Death Man". This guy is attracted to us but
very confused as to why which makes the poor guy scared to death. They are another potential
danger. Although they can be, and usually are, just beginners in our scene, they are also the
type that can beat us up and rarely (fortunately) even kill us. They can range from socially inept
to real charmers, so the main tip-off is their fuzzy grasp of their sexuality as well as ours. Their
attitudes toward gays is a help..if they say they like you but gays are something less than
human, watch out--cause if they get intimate with you, sooner or later they are going to feel
gay and that is when the fireworks start!
A more experienced version--and waaay more safe---than the Scared Man is the "I'm-Really-Straight
Man". He has dealt with his sexual issues, even tho' he is still deluded as hell in my book--(just
like the pre/non-op who thinks they are straight because they "feel like a woman" when they are
having same-sex sex.) But at least he isn't confused in his own mind so he is likely to remain ok
with you post-intimacy.
RecSex Guys
The "O-So-Married Man" is often one of these types. Always interested in recreational sex on a
short or long-term basis, they are almost always married to relatively frigid women--or at least to
women who are a mismatch to them in terms of libido and willingness to enjoy and explore their
sexual relationships inside marriage. Almost always upfront about their status and what they
want from you, this is the same type that is and has always been the mainstay of prostitution
throughout the history of monogamous marriage...just ask any whore! If you're interested in
recreational sex, these guys are always very discreet, usually clean and often very accommodating
as well. But forget having a real relationship with one of these guys...it just won't happen.
The recreational sex types vary somewhat...you have the "You're-So-Lucky Man" for instance--
this is the guy who thinks he is god's gift to TGirls and the rest of the world in general, the
Vegas, high-roller type with an ego all tied up and put away in his wallet, sportscar and the
mirror in his bathroom. If you like self-centered people who are charmers before and jerky boys
after, by all means---be my guest!! Then there is the "Porn Star Guy". These guys are so highly
sexed they ought to really be in pictures, which, of course they seldom are. But they can be
an absolute riot in the sack. But there has to be a downside and it is that their promiscuity can
make them the most likely-type to have STD's. Depending on how comfortable you are with the
currently available methods of protection, you can either run, run away-- or into their open
bedroom door. Practice safe sex, ok?
The last two types you are likely to encounter in a pick-up type scene are the "How-Much? Guy"
and the "Ripped Man". The How-Much Guy is looking for ...alright, take a guess!!! Dealing with
him is really easy...just say "I'm not a working girl, sorry" or tell him how much! If you are into
the latter, carry some bail money with you, you will need it sooner or later.
The other type
which girls can have a problem with is the Ripped Man...who will be either a curious slosh or a
rude one. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to deal with this type at all..best thing is to walk
away...towards the bouncer!--who is always a good guy to get to know in any case! Remember,
if you are welcome in a bar in the first place (and if you are not you have no business in there)
these guys will defend you to the absolute end. They are your best friend when you are out and
often I have seen these guys escort a gal to her car and sometimes, even home if necessary.
They're A-OK.
Ok, so what's about guys who are decent, for cryin' out loud?? What if you want to have
something a little better than a fling...want a steady, a sweetie, a nice guy, a real DATE?!??
Well, they are out there, tho', I think, pretty uncommon. When you find one, tho, they are
going to have a few things in common.
First they will all like Tgirls. I mean like Tgirls, like
some guys like girls with nice gams, nice bumpers, etc. Its an attribute thing you see. ALL guys
are into attributes, don't let anybody tell ya different because it's just another way of them saying
"You're my Type!"--they all have their "type", you see, and attributes is what that means! Yeh,
ok, personality is right up there, but usually a guy looks for his "type" first, then sorts for the
personality he likes next. So don't diss a guy just because he likes ALL of you, ok? It comes
with the territory. Second they are going to be SINGLE! Married guys will tell you anything to
get what they want but unless you want to be a mistress (and there are worse things), forget
them. The best you will ever be is a second life for them. Third, they are not going to be pushy
about sex. If they are, they are recreational types. This may sound like a real "Duh!", but the
guy who will last will be the guy who is your friend first...and a good friend too.
One thing that is pretty common for us is the guy who seems perfect, for you and for him, but for
some inexplicable reason, bails out of the relationship with hardly any warning or explanation at
all. Why? When everything was going so good??! Well. What is likely to have
happened is that he got scared. He started to project out his life with you and started to
visualize some uncomfy stuff...like "Mom, meet my girlfriend, she's trans*whatever!" for
instance. He sees his Mom stretched out on the kitchen floor, Dad walking off, muttering and
shaking his head...and your boyfriend freaks. His imaginings of relatives are more vivid than
friends and co-workers usually are because he can get new friends and jobs....but not new
relatives. What this means is that often the best chance is with a guy who is not close to his
family at all or hasn't any in the first place. Also, as a heavily invested career can have the same
effect--being irreplaceable--a guy who is occupationally independent often works out better.
Well, that's about it, in a nutshell! Just remember, that although there are exceptions to all the
rules, they are exceptions---and as such they need to be regarded warily and with some
healthy skepticism. I am just one person and tho I have been going out with guys as a bi-boy for
more years than I will admit and as a Tgirl for a few more, I learn loads from every new guy I go
out with--point being you never know it all! Anyway, have fun looking and remember that is half
the fun of finding a sweetie--hey, it's like shopping, you know? How many dresses do ya have to
try on before YOU find one that fits--just right?
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