Transgender

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Appearance

By Julie Freeman


Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie is a regular colunnist for the DVG newsletter and has also contributed to the ETVC newsletter, Tapestry and the Femme Mirror. Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995. Her e-mail address is julie39@ibm.net. She may also be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or by snail mail to DVG, PO Box 272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885

All of us, whether we are genetic women or crossdressers, have at one time or another dreamed of being the perfect woman. The perfect figure, the perfect hair, the perfect face - you know, don't you! And so FEW of us ever achieve. We know we are born with certain characteristics - just look at our parents! We cannot change our height, seem to have little effect on our weight in spite of all our attempts, and are stuck with our body structure unless we have access to some incredible plastic surgeon.

Some women and some crossdressers have with relative ease managed to make themselves look wonderful. Some of this is hereditary; but they must also be given credit with managing to learn whether from childhood or later how to make themselves look good. Others of us, no matter how hard we try, cannot get our hair to stay in place, cannot do much about our facial structure; and certainly cannot change our body structure.

So it may become a bone of contention between couples when the crossdresser with relative ease becomes a gorgeous woman and the wife, no matter how hard she tries, cannot compare. We have to wonder, don't we, just what is going on here.

It does appear that men's body structure lends itself many times to appearing more svelte and trim in dresses than women, who unfortunately have to deal with more body fat and this can present problems, as we women know. I cannot help but wonder if there is not some kind of outfit that would make women look as good as many men look in dresses.

And some crossdressers can do wonders with wigs. We have all seen female impersonators who are almost undistinguishable from the original, whether it be Marilyn Monroe, Cher, or Joan Rivers. They would be the first to tell us it look hours and hours of practice to perfect their makeup, etc.

But the point of this is we have to get beyond physical appearance. The playing field is not equal and we have to recognize this. The qualities that are important - sincerity, honesty, fairness, tolerance, responsibility, openmindedness have nothing to do with appearance. They come from within, from the heart.

We genetic women have to remember this and quit worrying about whether we measure up. Crossdressers have to remember this also and not worry so much about becoming the perfect woman but just enjoy crossdressing.

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