Transgender

Forum











Ho ho ho, my little North Pole elves! Happy Chanukah, my Reformed (and Orthodox) friends, and Merry Christmas to all of you mall walking-gotta-get-a-gift-must -have-Furby-crazy people.

Just remember, now is the best time of year for crossdressers to buy for themselves. You can always say, "It's a gift." Just don't give it away by saying, "Well, she's about my height... and my weight... and, uh, I guess her eyes are the same color as mine." That might take in some of the younger sales people but the ones who have lived through a few thousand clearance sales are not gonna be conned for a minute. Of course they won't give a big stuffed animal's behind if that daring little cocktail dress is really for you, either.

Anyhow, first a sad note.



Do The Name Geraldine Ring A Bell?


It seems I always end up reporting on some tragic loss around the holiday season. Last year it was a personal loss. This year it's the loss of one of the funniest men on the planet, and one of the funniest men in a dress since Milton Berle. (Somebody check on Uncle Miltie. He better be with us for a while, yet.) Flip Wilson passed away after a fight with (you just know I'm gonna type it) cancer. He was far too young for the big sleep and he will be missed.

Flip was one of the first comics that I can recall doing drag in the Sixties. Berle had done it since the 40s (or earlier) and made it a trademark, but as far as any regular drag character, there wasn't one till Geraldine showed up. The great thing about Geraldine was, she was a complete character. It wasn't just Flip in a dress getting a laugh because he juxtaposed glamour and a missing tooth. (Like Uncle Miltie would do.) Flip was portraying a female character of his experience and doing a pretty good job of it, too. Long before the male actresses of today, such as those mentioned in last month's column, Flip Wilson was doing comedy skits in a mini dress and playing the character as a female. The humor wasn't at the expense of the dressing, it didn't laugh at Geraldine. As a kid I watched with an appreciation of the comedy and a fascination that a man could actually be the star of his own television show and get paid to wear a wig and dress.

Flip Wilson broke a lot of ground for crossdressers, and for African Americans. I can imagine that he did a whole lot for African American crossdressers. God bless you Flip. We're gonna miss you. (See Flip's Dec. 7 obit)

Say What?


Speaking of people who have benefited from the ground breaking of Flip Wilson... I came home from an immense Thanksgiving dinner (I'm no fool, I wore the skirt with the elastic waist) and turned on the television to find Miss RuPaul Charles on Hollywood Squares . Now, twenty years ago the only drag queen who might have shown up on Hollywood Squares would have been Geraldine. I gotta type it again, "the times they are a changin'."

While Ru looked stunning (well that wig line is a little obvious, but hey...) on the Thanksgiving show the poor thing didn't get that much activity from the contestants. They picked squares all around her and she just got to do reaction shots to the other square's hilarious adlibs. Oh well, she's always good as decoration.

Have you noticed her song "You Better Work" as the background music to a camera commercial on TV? A middle aged woman goes pose crazy in a fountain as her significant other snaps away. I don't think Geraldine had any dance tracks of her's get used in a TV spot.

Return With Us Now To The Garden State


Last month I mentioned how NJ has no law against surveillance cameras in dressing rooms. This month I am able to tell you they do have a law against TVs in public restrooms. Before you go to powder your nose in the Garden State, call your legal counsel.

It seems that a Jersey girl in Fairfield was using the ladies' room in a hotel when she was cuffed and taken downtown. I only hope she had time to finish fixing her lips. It seems the poor thing had violated NJ State Statute 2C-18-3b. She was hauled before a judge and convicted. Some New Jersey gender activists are up in arms about the arrest and are threatening to organize the simultaneous flushing of all the public toilets in the state by way of protest. OK, I'm kidding. But before we go off the handle... the flush handle, let's take a closer look at the statute in question. (Hey, ain't that where the Statute of Liberty is?)

After consulting with my crack legal team I got the actual law on my monitor. It's available at the New Jersey Law Network website for those who enjoy finely crafted legalese. The part that concerns us, the part that the TV in the WC was convicted of, states:   

  2C:18-3.   Unlicensed entry of structures; defiant trespasser; peering into dwelling places; defenses

b.  Defiant trespasser.  A person commits a petty disorderly persons offense if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged to do so, he enters or remains in any place as to which notice against trespass is given by:

   (1)  Actual communication to the actor; or

   (2)  Posting in a manner prescribed by law or reasonably likely to come to the attention of intruders; or

   (3)  Fencing or other enclosure manifestly designed to exclude intruders.

   c.  Peering into windows or other openings of dwelling places.  A person commits a crime of the fourth degree if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged to do so, he peers into a window or other opening of a dwelling or other structure adapted for overnight accommodation for the purpose of invading the privacy of another person and under circumstances in which a reasonable person in the dwelling or other structure would not expect to be observed.

Try a nice cup of hot tea. That usually unfreezes my brain after I read something legal. But seriously, I don't see anything specific there about men in the ladies room, do you? It's pretty reasonable to want a law to keep people from peering in the window late at night while you're sacked out in a hotel. Particularly if you have been out crossdressed all night in New York, and are trying to get a little rest in your slinky charmeuse teddy, before you start that long drive home. Nope, we need a law against peepers for sure. How about that "defiant trespasser" thing. That sounds like it might be useful for getting rid of unwanted guests, like the hopped up crackhead who has kicked in your door and won't leave your bathroom. This one would be good to use on relatives who just won't go home, too.

To get you on this section of the law there really must be a notice that you're not allowed to come in. Perhaps that little icon on the door is enough of a warning that men aren't allowed, but then again, we only know it's a female cause it's wearing that skirt. I know plenty of guys who wear skirts. Wearing a skirt is not a proof that you're female. Call the ACLU, I bet we can beat this one.

My guess is, and it's only a guess mind you — albeit an informed one — is that the CD in question panicked and refused to leave the john when the cops showed up. That would leave her open to a charge of "defiant trespass." That may be the reason for the conviction.

In any event, remember girls — it doesn't matter what law they use, if you are acting weird, (refusing to leave the ladies room, acting like a nervous wreak in the middle of a department store, masturbating under the cape while you get a makeover, going to the mall in a too-small mini dress... that's designed for someone thirty years younger than you... who doesn't have hairy legs) then you can expect the long arm of the law to reach out and touch you. They will come up with some statute that they can use to haul you in. They do this because the behavior of many crossdressers scares people. Unless the transgender community makes an effort to do some outreach to law enforcement, cops will have no clue why that man in a dress took off in his car and forced them into a high speed chase. They don't know why we do what we do, so all they can do is treat us like they treat the crack addict who kicked in your door, they subdue the offender and get 'em off the street.

Use your heads as more than wig stands. If your presence anywhere seems to offend anyone, it might be a good idea to do the feminine thing and go somewhere else. This is not to say you shouldn't go where you want. You should dress and go anywhere you like as long as you aren't entering nuclear plants or other places that actually have "no trespassing" signs. But, if you are out in public and you seem to be causing a stir it might be best to not loiter. You can tell, if you walk into a restroom and a woman at the mirror suddenly eats her lipstick and runs out, that it might not be healthy to stand around in there for too long. Common sense will keep you out of court, out of jail, and off of Cops. OK, that's it. Let's get going, and remember, let's be careful out there.

What a Cissy


Dateline ran a piece on December first about a crossdressing male from America's heartland, actually from the birthplace of that all American critter, the Jackolope (half rabbit, half antelope... not real) a small town in Wyoming that I can't recall at the moment. My dears, you can't expect The Diva to keep track of all the picky little details.

It seems that for many years now a man named Cissy has been wearing women's clothing 24/7. He wears them to work (although he finally relented and agreed to wear women's slacks at the power plant. He still wears the tacky ruffled tops and carries a purse) and he wears them to local eateries... and everywhere else. One scene from the show followed Cissy and his family into the local diner for breakfast. He was ignored by some and greeted by others. Kind of like going into the local diner dressed in men's clothes.

Some of the townsfolk say they think he's cracked, but it's his life so what the hey. Others, not interviewed in the piece, have stated their bias against Cissy's sartorial habits in more violent ways. His teeth were kicked in once by a couple of roughnecks while his young son watched. He has been beaten other times and had his property defaced. If it's different it must be a personal affront. We better kill it.

Cissy's wife and children have had to endure more subtle forms of oppression than a boot in the groin. They have had to interact with the other folks in that town and act as if the man in the family wasn't walking around the K Mart in a ruffled dress that might look OK on a 13 year old. I say "might" because even Cissy admits she has no taste in clothes. She is the type of dresser who has no sense of style and she doesn't even make a remote attempt to pass as a woman. There are men who are not crossdressers who are far more likely to pass as female before Cissy would.

Why does she do it? Not for the same reason that most of us crossdress. In an attempt to shed light on why Cissy does what she does, Stone Phillips interviewed the eminent researcher on transgender issues, Dr. Richard Docter. While Dr. Docter made many good points about crossdressing, and helped to provide some understanding of why most of us do it, Cissy still came off as a loon. As England has its loads of eccentrics waddling around the landscape in various strange getups, Cissy seemed like our own American nut bucket. The average viewer probably said, "That poor man. Why can't they give him some medication or something? His poor family."

The report brought out the information that Cissy was abused as a child. It isn't hard, although The Diva is only a columnist and not a licensed psychologist, to make the connection between the abuse and the dressing. When Cissy was a little boy he stole his sister's clothes and hide them in the barn. When he was sent out to do his chores he would put on the clothes and escape from the abuse in another persona... Cissy. This is similar to stories of split personalities, the abused individual splits into another persona that can deal with the abuse.

For Cissy a day without women's clothing is like a day of torture. While I may miss my Enzo pumps, charcoal tights, tight mini, and chenille sweater... I can dress in men's clothes for work, and other activities without having a nervous breakdown. Why just this week I went without crossdressing for several days. Hold it a minute... gotta take this pill. There, that's better. I'm much calmer now. Hand's not shaking at all.

Cissy, on the other hand, can't go without women's clothing. A psychologist who treated him said that Cissy could not function without crossdressing. That makes Cissy's crossdressing a mental problem. Sadly, it reflects on all of us. Not that Cissy isn't somewhat courageous for doing what she must do, and I admit, it is less costly to treat your symptoms with cheap ruffles from Walmart than it is to go after the deep, painful root reasons with expensive psycho therapy, but (there's always a but with The Diva) Mr. and Mrs. Average American are going to say that must be what we're all like.

The media coverage has made Cissy a star and if he want's it he can have his fifteen minutes of fame. I have it on good authority that Rosanne's people have been calling Cissy to appear on a Roseanne Show about transgender stuff this week. If you're available they're looking for some TVs and TSs to come on the show and "have fun with it." Check your local listings and see if Cissy can get time off from the power plant to frolic with Roseanne. He may be busy since he has been elected to the National Board of Veterans for Peace. That is a real honor and it shows that some folks can get beyond how a person dresses. (Not The Diva though. I just can't forgive bad taste.)

Hedwig & The Angry Diva


A few months ago I was idly thumbing through the casting notices in Backstage magazine when the word "drag" caught my eye. I homed in like a hawk and read the whole listing. They were looking for a drag artist to portray a transsexual rock singer named Hedwig. I was interested since I do sing and drag is never a problem, but it was for an off Broadway stage production. Unlike some actors I don't have a little place in Manhattan where I can relax while working in the city. I thought, "I could go to the audition and just give it a shot. If they happen to offer me the part I'll figure something out." But, in the end I decided to not go. It was so much simpler to go shopping and have a cocktail, or two.

I have since come to regret that decision. Whatever it was I bought on that shopping trip is already lost in the bottom of that pile of hand laundry I remind myself to deal with every morning, and then never get around to, and the cocktails probably gave me a sore brain the next morning. The show however has become an off Broadway smash. The original star John Cameron Mitchell, who created the punk rocker TS, Hedwig, has decided to leave the role and the guy who had the brains to go to that audition, Michael Cerveris, has stepped into the wig. Cerveris is best know for his roles in The Who's Tommy and Titanic on Broadway. No doubt he'll fill Hedwig's platform boots in a more than adequate manner. As you can see from the alluring photo on the left, yeah that's Michael, the "new girl" is even better looking than the original. The bastard.

In other Hedwig news, Newline Cinema is in final talks with Hedwig creator, Mitchell, to write and star in a film based on the musical. And, Atlantic Records is releasing a concept album based on the musical that will contain new Hedwig tunes not performed in the stage show.

The show's name, Hedwig and The Angry Inch, is a reference to the botched SRS that leaves Hedwig with "an angry inch" of member. (It's also the name of Hedwig's band.) Find out more about the musical at its WEBSITE.

What A Dame


While Hedwig is doing boffo box office in NYC, Dame Edna Everage is preparing a new assault on the Colonies. While the character has had huge success in England, Barry Humphries' Australian housewife turned snob hasn't caught on with the commoners in the States. She's had some PBS play and a few specials on network TV, but nowhere near her success on the stages of England, Australia, and Europe.

Now Dame Edna Everage is attacking in what may be the best possible place to start a planned drag takeover of the country, San Francisco. Her stage show is booked into the Theatre on the Square through the end of January. It's her first appearance in an American theater since the ill fated show, Housewife/Superstar, in 1977. Apparently it's going a little smoother this time since San Fran named November 26th "Dame Edna Day." Let's see how she goes over in Wyoming.

Congrats to Edna and her creator, Barry Humphries. Edna's sharp tongue and biting humor have served as a role model for this Diva. Edna once said of her sense of humor, "Oh, but I'm a lucky, lucky woman because I was born with a priceless gift ... the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.''

So, at the end of this month's, and this year's columns, as Edna herself would say, "Good night possums!" See ya next year.


The Diva is a busy woman who just can't read every page on the web and every newspaper. If you come across any juicy dish send it along to The Diva.
TGF's Home Page