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Pieces of Southern Comfort

By Jami Ward

Well, I was all set to forego my month off from TG Forum last month and write a Southern Comfort piece right after that event, but then reality reared its ugly head, and job and family and health all conspired to prevent me from actually writing it. However, I don't think TG Forum's readers have suffered from the absence of that column (although I KNOW y'all missed me!). Besides the pictorial, there have been several pieces here recently about Southern Comfort, and as much as it pains me to say, some of them have been better than what I probably would have cranked out. I'm especially fond of Veronica Smith's comparison of attending Southern Comfort to a pilgrimage.

So, am I going to forget about Southern Comfort and just forge ahead and write about something else? Actually, no, although this column is not the one I had originally intended to write. I had planned to write a piece on the spirit, the mood, the feelings that pervaded the conference, but I realize now that that was just post-conference euphoria talking. Instead, all I'm going to do is try to relate some of my own impressions. Therefore, if you're not particularly interested in yet another perspective of Southern Comfort, the largest gender event in modern history, yadda, yadda, now's the time to click that "Back" button. (Cindy hates it when I say things like that.)

If you're still here, here goes:
Let's start with the top of this column. If you're one of my half dozen or so regular readers, you may have noticed that the picture is new. The previous picture was about five years old, and I thought it was time for an update, especially since I had my eye surgery. Since I rarely get a chance to get dolled up in a formal gown, I figured Southern Comfort was my best chance to have a nice dressy shot done. Debbie Fleischel, a local Atlanta professional photographer, took this picture Saturday night, and I think it turned out very well. Speaking of the new eyes, I had a lot of comments along the line of, "Oh, Jami! Wow, I hardly recognized you!" I'm assuming everyone meant that as a compliment.

It was terrific for me to finally get to meet Cindy Martin and Jamie Faye Fenton. I got to spend time talking to Cindy (there's a picture of us around somewhere) about a number of things. However, in discussing this particular endeavor right here, namely TransGender Forum, I realized that I'm one of the few folks writing here that gets to just run off at the mouth (or keyboard, actually) with no predefined agenda. Like this column, for instance. She has given me a slot here where I can pretty much insert anything I want, and I'm very thankful for that. I never had the guts to ask her if I'm doing a good job, or if she's just been too scared of hurting my feelings to tell me to stop.

Cindy was not the only friend I finally got to meet face to face. Jennifer Lynn from Canada has been an online friend of mine for literally years and years, and she and I finally got to hug. I also met a bunch of others, but one of the ones who left me with a lasting impression was Roxy from Denver. What a gal! If you know her, that's all I have to say. If you don't, it's your loss. Meeting friends, some of them even closer than family, is one of the primary reasons to attend an event like this.

I followed up on at least one of my resolutions to myself from last year and spent more time with the FtMs, the boyz, the transmen. In fact, I even did a seminar for them that seemed to be fairly well received. No, I did NOT go and do it in boy drag, and it didn't seem to matter. If they ask me to do it again, I'm ready — provided Max brings the box of ties again. I didn't follow up on another of my resolutions, though. I did not get to as many of the seminars as I said I would. Maybe I'm just giving myself an excuse to have to go back to Atlanta again next year.

Being on stage again at Southern Comfort was a real thrill! The caliber of the talent in the Friday night show just continues to escalate. I really get a kick out of doing stand-up comedy, but doing so in front of a crowd that was as supportive as the one on Friday night was truly awesome. My thanks again to everyone who was there. If you couldn't make it, you only have to wait about ten months to read the transcript of my routine right here. Or you can surf over to the Southern Comfort website and order the video that has everybody on it. (I don't think it's tax-deductible, though.) For those of you who care, I've been asked to take part in a comedy fundraiser at the IFGE convention in Louisville this spring, and I've tentatively accepted. Maybe I'll see you there.

A final impression: the crowd at this year's event seemed to be more relaxed, more open, more friendly and more together somehow than any previous year that I've attended. I have no idea if all that was due to the new accommodations, the phase of the moon, the free happy hour, some kind of critical mass with the size of the crowd, or something else entirely. But I definitely think I'll be back next year just to see if it is repeatable.

One last piece of business, totally unrelated to Southern Comfort. In response to those who have asked, I have not had any response from anyone at PC Week, NAI or their ad agency about NAI's "She's a woman" ad. If anyone out there HAS heard anything back, I'd appreciate it if you would forward me a copy of that response.

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