By Angela Gardner
Hello my little glamour pusses. It's October, that bewitching time of year when the
wonderful folks in charge of society (I'm not quite sure who they are) thought of
having a holiday just for use. Well, for ghosts and goblins, and little kids who
hold you up for candy, too. But, Halloween is the one time of year when any guy can wear a
dress and get away with it. Sure, ya gotta complain a little about how the heels
are killing you and say things like, "How do youse broads stand wearing these pantyhose
all day?" But if you don't let 'em see just how much you're enjoying it, everyone at work
on Monday will say how great you looked and what fun it all was. They don't need
to know you're still wearing panties under your suit. So, slip into something naughty
Halloween weekend and go practically anywhere. It's our holiday, girls. I'm not sure if I'll be trick or treating at my favorite haunts,
though. I foolishly agreed to do an acting gig on October 31st, completely forgetting
about Halloween. That's what I get for taking a job months in advance. Oh well, at
least I'll be working. Not like some unemployed queens I know.
Unemployed
 Speaking of the unemployment line... it seems Rupaul
has been given the axe at VH1. The poor thing was let go and now she just wanders
the streets in boy drag looking depressed. Take a look at this picture.(Now there's
a powerful example of what a little makeup and good lighting can do. Encouraging,
isn't it?) There she is on the left, all glamourous and confidant, and there she is on the
right as she heads to the unemployment office. It's sad to know that now all we'll
have of The Rupaul Show is reruns. Of course, it's not like she'll go hungry. She's still the most seen queen
in the history of drag. From her appearances on Nash Bridges to her various spokesmodel gigs, the girl will not be going away anytime soon. She's
even appeared on Walker Texas Ranger. Not since Boy George
appeared on the A Team
has there been such a clash of cultures. I have no idea what the plot was about, I only saw a photo,
but Ru looked very sweet in a cute baby doll dress, and I loved her hair. If she wasn't
a foot taller than the show's stars she'd have beeen almost demure. What's next for Ru? Will we
see her on Touched by an Angel? If it happens you'll read about it here.
H2O at Shampoo
Mr. John Waters, famous film director, was in town (Philly) this weekend for a local film festival.
As part of the festivities he made an appearance at my local watering hole Shampoo.
I got there early and thanks to my local celeb status (and a little begging) I got
admitted to the VIP area where John would hold court. The club had arranged for a couple
of Divine
impersonators (now there's a concept, two Divine impersonators in one spot) to put in an appearance. It must be kind of bizarre
for John to see people impersonating his deceased friend, but I guess if anyone could
take it, it would be the man who brought us Pink Flamingos. In any event, the Divines were, as far as I could tell, a no show. They're probably
in the unemployment office today with Ru. The one Divine who did show up was a Baltimore
babe who journeyed up I95 to pay homage to Mr. Waters.
After saying hi to John, and mentioning a mutual acquaintance of ours, I tastefully
withdrew to witness the feeding frenzy of queens as they descended on the poor man
and actually forced him to sign autographs. I was told by his personal assistant
that John has been on the road for two months promoting his new film, Pecker. I remarked to John that he must be reduced to
a quivering bowl of jelly by the demands of his schedule and he said he was too tired
to even quiver. He was the perfect gentleman to one and all throughout his ordeal,
but he did manage to slip out of the club around eleven thirty. I hope he gets some rest.
He'll need all his energy to produce his next film. It's a little story about a TG
Diva and the wacky column she writes each month for an ezine. It's tentatively titled
Typer, and I can't reveal the name of the fabulous actress who's starring. All I can say
is, she's slimmer than Rikki Lake.
Meow. Speaking of domestic pets...
There's Something About That Dog
I knew there was something up with that pooch in the Taco Bell ads. Some gay people
say they have an innate sensing device called "gaydar" which allows them to detect
other gays. I have "TG-dar," which is not nearly as good a term, but functions in
much the same manner. I knew something was up with the Taco Bell pup. Sure, he has a deep voice and a machismo
manner, but there was just something, well... feminine about him. Sure enough, the
pooch is TG. Born a GB (genetic bitch) Dinky was drawn to studded dog collars early
in life. When the other little lady Chihuahuas were practicing demure little poses and eating
dainty bowls of Puppy Chow, Dinky was eating raw steak and strutting around like a
little Bulldog. It made his early years hard, since no one in the puppy mill could
figure out why "she" acted so butch. It wasn't until his big break, a bit part in Dog Day Afternoon, that his career turned around. When the Taco Bell auditions came up Dinky was ready.
His agent didn't even tell the producers that there was something different about
the macho mutt and his natural acting ability and smoldering Latin looks got him
the part. It's rumored though that he can get really bitchy if members of the crew refer
to him as "she" while he's working. While acknowledging his female body Dinky prefers
to completely immerse himself in the role at hand. He said in a recent interview,
"Sure, I'm really a bitch. I know that, my agent knows that. It's no big deal. I can cut
the part. In this biz that's all that matters. Do you think it was a big deal that
Lassie was a male? No. He was a big sissy, and it paid the bills. That's the bottom
line."
Dinky is prepared for the eventual end of his run in the Taco Bell ads. He is developing
a one dog show called "Transgender Mutt," (confirmation of the other rumor that Dinky doesn't have papers) which he plans to take on the road as soon
as his commercial obligations cease. We'll have the tour schedule here as soon as
his people tell my people. Bow wow, baby.
TG TV
Anyone catch the Letterman Show on October first? The musical act was Hedwig and the Angry Itch
. Not your typical Goo Goo Dolls or Blues Traveler type pop band, Hedwig & the A.I.
is a rock musical that's been playing in New York and attracting all kinds of good
press and a trendy audience. Hedwig is the lead singer, and the character happens to be a transsexual. She's a transsexual in the New York drag queen manner and the music is pretty heavy and NYC influenced. The show is about Hedwig's struggles as a transgendered person.
It's wild that the cast appeared on Letterman at all since the show is certainly not mass appeal, like Cats or Phantom, but it's even stranger that Dave consistently used feminine pronouns when referring
to Hedwig. Oh, and I can't forget, the back up singer was a leather clad drag king.
Pretty cutting edge for Dave. I did note that Dave didn't come over to shake hands, as he does with most musical
acts that appear on the show. Could there be a littler transphobia there? You bet.
But at least they had Hedwig on in the first place.
Jay Leno
has been sticking it to President Clinton
and Monica Lewinsky
for months. He has an actress who looks just like Lewinsky and has used her in many
sketches about the President's peccadillo. The other night he took a page from Letterman's
book and used the old, oops-my-announcer-is-missing-stay-here-I-gotta-go-find-him bit. Leno ran offstage and the television cuts to a shot of him running on to the
set of the Roseanne daytime talk show where we see Monica Lewinsky being interviewed by Roseanne. Only
instead of the Lewinsky look alike, the "Monica" is Tonight Show announcer, Ed Hall
. Hall looked remarkably good as Lewinsky. Jay pulled Hall's wig off and exposed him
to Roseanne as a phony Monica. The gag was that Hall was trying to get the million
bucks Roseanne has said she'll pay Lewinsky to appear on her show. Leno carried the
dewigged Hall off of the Roseanne set and then appears back on the Tonight Show stage with Hall still over his shoulder. Further big yucks came when Ed was told to
sit with his legs together. All I can say is you'd never catch Ed McMahon doing a
skit like that, and if you did Ed would have sat like a lady. You are correct, sir!
Fans of British tellie have no doubt been aware of the TS character on Coronation Street for sometime. Her name is Hayley, and while she's portrayed by a genetic female,
the plot involves her preparing to move in with her boy friend. He wants to be a
perfect gentleman and not have sex until they are married. This causes Hayley much
consternation since transsexuals are not legally recognized in England and cannot marry anyone
of the opposite sex. In the eyes of the law they are still their birth gender and
as such if a MtF TS married a man, to the courts, they would have a same sex marriage.That's why Tula
left Merry Olde a few years back. We'll keep an eye on plot development and let you
know how it all turns out. That could take a bit. You know how those soap plots can
go on and on.
 Former NASCAR driver Terri O'Connell used to be a guy named J.T. and as you can see
from the right side of the picture above, J.T. was a good old boy. Ms. O'Connell appeared on
20/20 this past week and told the world that she wants to race again. It was all
handled pretty well by 20/20 and it showed, as you can see, that here was one very successful
transition. This one could have a happy ending, too. O'Connell's old race car owner,
who's a real good old boy, said that if Terri can prove she can still drive (and why shouldn't she be able to drive?)
he'd let her drive his car again. Sound like an old Beatles song to me. Good luck Terri. As they say, you go girl.
If you don't get the cable channel A&E, and you thought you'd never see the recent
show they ran on transgenderism, fear not! Phyllis Frye tells us that the TG video
can be ordered from A&E, for $19.95, by calling 800-423-1212. Just in time for the
holidays. It makes a wonderful stocking stuffer.
And with that my little chipmunks... I must bid you adieu for another month. If you
simply can't get by without dish until I return, check out the Brazen Hussy site
on the web. It's run by a couple of gals
who must have some drag queen in their blood. Mucho fun, as Dinky would say. Till next time, ta, ta
one and all.
The Diva is a busy woman who just can't read every page on the web and
every newspaper. If you come across any juicy dish send it along to The Diva.
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