Transgender

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Dear Rachael,


Got something on your mind? Would you like to talk it over with Rachael?
Drop a line to Rachael and she'll help you as much as she can.

Dear Rachael:

I am 18 years old. When I was about 7 years old I started to find it interesting to dress-up in women's clothing. Having two older sisters, and living with my mom since my parents were divorced created lots of opportunities for me to do so. However, I turned out to be a normal boy for the most part.

For the past 3 to 4 years my desire to dress, and more importantly to be seen as a woman has increased. While I do not own any clothes at the time, I have been wearing clothes from my sisters and mother for quite some time. I have found the Web extremely informative and it has has provided me with lots of information on transgendered people. I feel the desire to start dressing up and to start to move towards a more feminine life but I am too shy to do so all by myself. I still live with my family, and I am afraid to tell them this since we are a very conservative family. However, I would like to meet some people that share my feelings, and hopefully they could also teach me how to dress-up properly. I live in Arizona, and for what I've heard in your chat rooms, there isn't that many places to get help here. Thank you very much. Love,
Anna Hedge

Dear Anna:

Three things have to happen, Anna. First, you must get yourself into counseling as well as joining a self-help group. The second is the need to tell your mother and sisters (at least your mother). You might be surprised... they may already suspect and are waiting for you to come forward... just don't tell them by being dressed when they get home; that most always has disastrous results. How you "tell" is up to you, one at a time or as a group, but do it in a calm, straight forward and unembarrassed manner. Give them plenty of time to react and ask questions. They'll have plenty. They may want to "fix" you, but must understand that you are not broken.

One of the best ways to become secure in your own thoughts is to go through counseling with a counselor versed in gender issues. You must decide on whom you really are, rather than saying that you want to move towards being more feminine. A counselor can help you with this. Arizona is not at the end of the universe. While it may take a while you will find both counseling help and a peer group. Keep looking on the Web!

(Editors note: Check the TGF database for resources in your area.)

In the meantime, the third thing you need do is to develop a relationship with a gender organization so that you can exchange everyday thoughts and answer questions on how to dress, etc.

The process will take time, patience and understanding... yours and your family's.

Dear Rachael:

I'm 40ish and although I've always considered myself a girl/woman I've had to live my life as a male with my true desire hidden under my clothes. Recently I've thrown in the towel and started dressing and going out as my true self and have started taking hormones. I've been married and divorced twice. I married because I thought it was the proper thing to do in society and so people wouldn't think I was gay. All the wrong reasons but both women knew about me early on. Question, am I gay?, because I've married and dated women and only thought about going with a man? Would I be normal if I dated men? I am planning to have surgery to get my body in line with my mind. I hope this letter doesn't sound corny.

Bye Bye,
Vanna

Dear Vanna:

I answered you, as you know. I had told you that you were not necessarily gay, although that would have been okay. I feared for you going out and fooling men as to your gender and suggested that you not. Further, I suggested counseling. Before I could put the answer in my column you answered back (below). It sounds like you are far ahead of some of my advice... good for you! I have no recommendation as to therapists... but look more here and/or post a person on this Portal for others to see and suggest. I wish that you would see a psychiatrist first and not go into an (illegal) self-administered, HRT program. You could kill yourself. Lastly, to beat a dead horse, do not, please do not date by fraud... tell the guys what you are or better yet, don't date.

Dear Rachael (cont.):

Thanks Rachael, for your quick response. TS, TG, or TV what's a name. My mind and spirit are one and I've been a woman all my life. If I could just get this body (Machine) to cooperate. I'm taking the steps necessary to make it so. I've started taking hormones and will see a doctor next week. Electrolysis will start in Dec. or Jan. It sounds like I had better find a Therapist soon. Any suggestions? I live in NW IN., Portage. I was planning on surgery by this time next year or when the electrolysis was complete for the most part. It may sound like I'm rushing things but I'm not. I'm taking one step at a time and all, well thought out. I'm making a list of doctors that are knowledgeable and up to date on the latest procedures. It will probably take a year for all to fall in place.

Thank You,
Vanna

Dear Rachael:

I'm a bi-male 53 been married for 23 years, but I really like TV's. I guess TV, she males, TG's. I don't know all the designations. I like beautiful women that happen to have a dick. They are really nice (most of the time) but I'm worried, I have started to go out on my wife. She doesn't like them and I love her. I'm up a tree. Sorry if this e-mail took up some of your time, just venting my feelings to someone whom might care.
Love and Kisses,
Ken

Dear Ken:

Get a life! You make yourself sound like a real creep, though you are probably not. Your first loyalty should be to that wife you love so much. Now, you are nothing but a cheat! Leave all those gender folks alone. They deserve better than you! You may need professional help. If so, get it soon for your sake and the sake of your wife.

Dear Rachael:

I am considering low dose HRT. I know through my research that our bodies utilize cholesterol in producing progesterone and estrogen. My problem is that I have a borderline high cholesterol level and take a prescription drug called ZOCOR to control its levels. I have several questions, first, will ZOCOR have a negative affect on HRT therapy, that is, will it reduce the feminization process. Second, can HRT therapy also, control or reduce cholesterol levels in my body. My health is very important to me; any advice or information in this area would be greatly appreciated.
Paige

Dear Paige:

You flatter me. I do not have a clue as to the interactions of these medicines. Even if I did have a clue I would do what I am going to do now... referral! Please see your doctor for an educated response to your concerns. You seem to be well above the curve on knowledge of potential reactions... now go to the experts for your answers and not rely on information gleaned off any Web site.

Rachael

(Editor's note: Hormone and other health related questions amy be sent to our medical correspondent, Dr. Sheila Kirk.)

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