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The Name Change
One Woman’s Point of View
by Anne Marie Pemberton
Read more on this topic in TGF's Library
There are a lot of issues about transitioning that can leave you confused, doubtful, and while in the process, frustrated at times. Changing your name can be one of them. Confused because you really don’t know where to start, and each state handles the issue differently from what I’ve read. Doubtful, because here is a big legal eraser; I mean everything needs to be looked at. Frustrated because of some of the waiting periods, and the people you ultimately have to deal with.
Part of my planning for transition also included changing my name, and wanting to start the process as close to going full-time as possible. (Personally RLT in-role is a no brainer for me, I’m just living.) Early in last October, a few weeks before I went full-time, I submitted my notarized Name Change Form to the County Clerks Office in the County Court in Rockville Md. The form that I submitted is for the state of Maryland only, and was found at the Maryland Peoples Law Library on the web. It’s a perfect duplicate of the document that can be obtained at the court house, and is the same form that is used in divorce, or marriage procedures. I asked how long it would be before I have a decree and was told that it normally takes between 2 and 3 months.
You’ll be notified by registered mail and a copy of the decree will be with that notification. Well, okay, that’s certainly better then some of the other states, taking as much as 8 months, and the petitioner having to stand before a judge, with legal counsel. It’s all a game that the courts play, but you need to be careful and go along with the rules and protocol to obtain what you need. The cost here isn’t too dear. I spent a total of $140.00. 1) For the petition process, 2) for the Sheriffs office and posting, 3) for 6 certified copies after the decree was granted. My decree was submitted on October 12th.
A lot of things were going on in my life at that time, and I basically put the topic aside for the time being. But as the calendar rolled into December, I started to think that maybe, just maybe the decree will come sooner then 3 months. I’d been working some over-time and I asked my boss if I could go home a little early on the afternoon of December 12th. A few weeks ago I’d called the clerks office with my case number and asked about my petition and if it had gone to the judge yet. I spoke with a very helpful lady in the clerks office who took the time to look up my case and found that it was awaiting review and signature from the sitting judge. She said that I should check back in a week or two if I hadn’t received anything yet.
Well I hadn’t, and being curious I called the clerk I’d spoken to back, and she said that the file was still awaiting review by the judge, but she’d personally place it on his desk. That was what happened, and later in the afternoon of this special day, she called me at home at told me "Anne Marie Pemberton, You are now legal. Congratulations." It’s enough to say that I was elated, and started to cry. (I’m one of those women who’ll cry in almost any situation.) It was a big surprise nevertheless and now things were really shaping up. Two months and two days for my name change in Maryland.
Once I had the decree, I went to Court House and had the six certified copies made that were soon used for: 1) Birth Certificate Amendment, 2) Social Security, 3) Driver's License, 4) official notification to the company that I work for, 5) for my continued Top Secret Status. I was told that when you go to get a new passport, which I have, you’ll need one here too. That wasn’t the case. Only a copy of the amended birth certificate, and my driver's license were needed, but I brought a copy along just in case. Like most of us, we wonder how the name change will be handled at the MVA? It’s easy, but don’t expect to have them honour a different gender designation unless you can prove it with a signed letter from your surgeon. The lady, and she was really nice to me, wished that she could change the designation for me right then and there, but no, she needed the letter. Well who looks at the designation anyway. I haven’t concerned myself about passing in public for a long time anyway.
This was a busy day for me. After getting the driver's license I raced down to my bank and saw the bank's branch manager, who already was aware of me and we were on good terms. She was very happy to help me with all the forms for changing my name, new checks, credit card, ATM card, and all the other accounts that I have at this institution. We spent an hour together really just talking about the changes, she was impressed with my new face, and my determination.
Having the decree, you feel like you're in the process of a major purging of some sort. I know it felt a bit strange going through the motions after getting the decree. But once I saw that the system was working for me, and there were absolutely no questions or concerns, everything just fell into place as I submitted forms for everything important. The social security requires that if the name change is in regards to a gender change, then a letter from a doctor stating that the change is in process or has been completed, is required. They won’t touch this any other way. So that’s what I did and got my new card with my new name (ofcourse the number does not, and should never, change.) That took 6 weeks, whereas the amended birth certificate from my birth state took 10 days.
Another issue that’s sometimes hurtful, is when the parents are told that their child is changing the name given them at birth. My father, God bless him, has become very understanding about all phases of my transition. When I mentioned to him that I needed to have him sign forms for the bank designating that his name appear on my checks, and as co-signee for all my other financial papers, he again understood the importance and signed the forms. He doesn’t called me Anne Marie, but he know doesn’t refer to me as "son." I know it has been hard for him, and I love him for his acceptance and support. It’s a little scary for both of my parents, but they realize now that I’m happy and my life is now stabilized. (I don’t know what they’ll say when they find out that I have a boyfriend - well that’s another subject. )
All in all, changing my name was painless and a lot less time consuming than I first thought. I believe the keys to this important step are, as I've said in earlier articles, conviction, confidence, and honesty. Above all if you have any faith, and I mean the kind that comes from Christ, then "The person who helps themselves, He’ll always help."
I’ve recently got my passport, and as soon as I can I want to take a trip and visit some friends in London that I haven’t seen for years. In this case it’s a post-op woman and her husband who are American citizens, but they both work for an large multinational corporation in London. She’s a gourmet picnic packer, and we both love walks along the embankment, and those lovely English country lanes in the spring.
Cheers, and best wishes to all!
Love, Auntie Ana (as my precocious niece of 6 would say.)
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