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A Pleasant Surprise
By Peta Wilson
The book reviewed recently on TGF by Siobhan Ellis and called "Desirelines" is a joint family memoir written by myself and my brother, Richard. I hope to beg the reader’s indulgence for a moment while I point out something which sounds a little egocentric. The autobiographical works of obscure people are not, commonly, best sellers. If no one knows who they are, why would readers want to read about them? So my indulgence is to tell you that, in Australia, both my brother and myself are "famous". He is arguably Australia’s leading theatre director; I am a television journalist, producer and writer.
My brother and I are the only children of a very troubled couple; the husband, our father, was a drunk, an epileptic and a wife-basher. He was also, coincidentally, a cross-dresser. The wife, our mother, remained with him despite his terrifying behavior, throughout our childhood for, as it was always said, "the sake of the children". Hence our early lives were decidedly unpleasant to say the least and what happened to us is the essence of the book. In every way who are now at 62 (me) and 56 (him) was shaped by those experiences.
We wrote the book for essentially altruistic reasons. That is to say we felt sure that our experiences, the fact that we both overcome the problems of our early lives to be successful, relatively happy adults, would, perhaps be of interest and benefit to others.
The book was launched in Australia in October, 1997 and has been highly successful in the market place. In it, certain pertinent facts about our lives are revealed. The fact, for example, that my brother is homosexual and has been living with HIV for fourteen years. In truth, to many people, this was not a new revelation. He had been interviewed on the subject a number of times and was not, in any way, in the closet. My revelations were, however, very new. I am a lifelong cross-dresser and although I have not, technically, been in the "closet" for many years now, the book and its wide attendant publicity revealed this fact of my life to millions, many of whom were, dare I say it, fans. Although I was fairly certain that this revelation would not be harmful to me in any way, there were a few unanswered questions about how those who employ me in a number of different capacities would react.
So what did happen?
First my family. I have two adult children and six grandchildren ranging in age from eight down to one. My present wife (not the mother of my children), my previous wife and my children have known of my cross-dressing for many years and have lived fairly comfortably with it. My present wife is in fact, very supportive. But they were not exactly enthusiastic about my revealing it to the world. Despite this , for them, there have been no negative reactions. There have been a few raised eyebrows, apparently, and a few questions but other than that the book has caused no harm. My eldest grandson, who is eight and very quick, was sent, innocently, to buy the Sunday newspapers for his father, on the day I just happened to be on the front page. By the time he arrived home he had read the article and was rushing, enthusiastically, to tell his mother and dad.
My son rang me and mentioned this and said, not in any spiteful way. "I’m going to let you try to explain". He put the lad on and we spoke for about five minutes during which time I gleaned from him that he thought it was funny. It seems he had visions of me as "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", a movie he has seen. Otherwise he could not have been more nonchalant and although some of his school friends have asked him about it he has just shrugged it off.
So, in fact, my family survived the experience totally intact and with no scars one would notice.
My work colleagues? Technically I work for myself but I have a number of contracts and work closely with others on a number of projects. Many of these people already knew much of what the book contains. Those who didn’t have been completely supportive and there have been NO negative responses from anyone. I did not lose any jobs and I have not in any way been maligned, embarrassed or humiliated. In fact, most of the people I work with seem to be fascinated by my revelations and, once the ice was broken, were keen to discuss the subject.
Peta/Peter
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My "public"? In total I have received over 700 letters, faxes and emails from people I never even knew existed and ALL of them have been positive and supportive. This is not to say there are not people out there who might be offended or disgusted or shocked or whatever. But NONE of them have been in touch with me and the reaction to me in public places has not changed at all. In fact, there have been people who have stopped me in the street, quite literally, to tell me they were moved and rewarded by the book.
It would also seem that our intention to help others as a result of the story has been realistic. I have always been moderately "in demand" as a public speaker, but now I find myself talking with a wide variety of support groups for homeless children, children from broken homes, drinkers, addicts of every kind including gamblers. So I have become even more public and inevitably, I find myself discussing the subject of cross-dressing at many opportunities. I have and will continue to grasp these opportunities whenever I can.
There is not much else to say. In short, my personal experience as a result of "letting it all hang out" has been terrific. It makes me very proud of my fellow human beings to realise what they can and will accept when they know the background and the details. I can’t imagine they would have been so forgiving if I was a child molester or, like my poor sad, father, a wife basher, but I’m not. I just like to wear dresses.
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