Shopping 101
Beginner's Luck: Part Seven "Where Do I Put It All?"
By Jessica Brandon, B.S. (Bachelorette of Spending)
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six
Hello, darlings! The leaves are turning brown and the air is slowly growing crisp and cooler. That means fall is right around the corner! If you haven't gone to the stores to buy your winter coat, rush right out now and correct that oversight while the selection's good and the prices are still fairly reasonable. I'll wait here until you return... Back so soon? Cool!
You know, ever since I started writing this column, I've talked ad nauseum about what to shop for, how to shop, even how to act when you go shopping. But I've never discussed what to do with everything you've bought once you get it all home. Well, girls, this month, I'm gonna tell you just how to do that in a feature I call "Where Do I Put It All?"
Let's start with clothes which belong in closets. If you live alone like I do or have an understanding spouse, you've got it made. A good idea would be to keep your male and female clothes in separate closets. Just as there's separation of church and state, so too should there be separation of the genders when it comes to clothing stowage. If you don't have an abundance of closet space, invest in a garment rack, some come with wheels and extend to widths up to 84 inches.
For shoes, you can store them in cabinets that open out to reveal them, on racks that hang on the door of your closet, in sectioned bags that do the same or sectioned, floor standing chests. The cabinets can store anywhere from 12 to 36 pairs, and some are even stackable so you can add storage space when needed. As for prices, cabinets can run up to $80.00, racks and bags about $24.00 and chests at $60.00 for the model that holds 36 pairs. Me? I'm cheap, I keep my shoes in the boxes they came in.
Lingerie. Again, for the sake of organization, your femme underwear should be kept separate from your male boxers, unless you're like me and panties are all you wear. Makeup should be kept in a sturdy container, away from cold, damp, musty or humid areas.. Jewelry needs to be kept in a box or case and not in the bottom of a dresser drawer where tiny items like earrings can be easily misplaced. As for handbags, I've never seen any dedicated storage container for them, so put them wherever you like. An ideal situation would be to have a room set aside just for your femme self which includes the following: large, roomy closets or garment racks, a chest or dresser, a vanity table, a jewelry case and plenty of space to store your wigs (such as an foot wide bookcase) and shoes. Some of you are fortunate enough to have such an arrangement, but others aren't. The key thing is to determine just how much space you have and utilize it with the utmost efficiency.
Next we come to one other thing we need to properly stow away, but this item is something we have to hide while dressed. That's right, I'm talking about Mr. Johnson. There's nothing worse than being out in public, dressed to the nines and looking your best, only to have your perfectly crafted illusion of femininity ruined by that unsightly bulge downstairs in the boiler room. I myself have had this happen in my early years out of the closet and it wasn't a pretty sight. If you're, shall we say, small in stature, Mr. J can be easy to hide under loose fitting clothing. But if you're — and please forgive me for sounding crude, or worse, like a man — hung like a gorilla, that can be quite a problem, but it's not an unsolvable one. One of the more well known ways to keep Mr. J in place is with a gaff. However, that's not the ultimate solution to the problem since a gaff doesn't work for everyone. And I happen to fall in that category. When I first tried a gaff, I found it much to tight and painfully constricting, despite having closely read the directions. To make a long story short, when I wore the darn thing, it felt like the family jewels were being held for ransom. So I ditched the gaff in favor of a waist cinching brief which I've found to work well for tucking. The brief serves to both conform my figure into a more believable female one and keeps Mr. J in place. I think it can work for you as well. What you want to do is buy a brief one or size smaller than your waist size. These garments average around $28.00 to $32.00 apiece and come usually in white (which you should avoid), beige, champagne and black which is the color I prefer. Now, I don't mean to knock the gaff, I'm sure some of you reading this use it and it works well for you. Hey, that's great! I just want to make an alternative choice available to you for when you have to tuck in Mr. J.
Well, girls, that's it for this month. Before I go, be sure to snap up LadyLike #35 when it comes your way as the Profile Girl in that issue is none other than yours truly! As always, my mailbox is open for your comments, tips and opinions at treetop@voicenet.com. Until next month, shop not just with your heart, but with your head!
|