Beginner's Guide to MTF Crossdressing
Crossdressing and Bathrooms, a Dangerous Combination?
By Diane Hutchinson
Venturing out into public while crossdressed already has a certain amount of inherent risk, but that risk can increase dramatically when nature calls. If you pass flawlessly or are going through a RLT (real life test) bathrooms are not that big of an issue, if they are an issue at all. For most of us however, the women's bathroom can be a scary place and even dangerous place.
There still are many crossdressers out there that feel, or don't think, the bathroom is an issue. They believe that if they are dressed as a female they can freely use the lady's room. What's the big deal, right? If that describes your attitude then perhaps you should consider the following. Just this past month, in New Jersey, a transgendered person was arrested and charged with lewdness for using the women's restroom while crossdressed.
You can rest assured she was not doing anything lewd, in fact all she did was go into the restroom stall, do her business, wash her hands and promptly leave. Two women spotted her entering the rest room, then they followed her inside to make sure she was a crossdressed male and then called the police. The police arrested her and at the station she had to post $500 bail. The next day the local paper reported the incident using her male name.
If that doesn't demonstrate to you that this is a serious issue then I suggest you read no further. Here are my guidelines and common sense tips for bathroom use while crossdressed:
Bathroom Basics for Crossdressers
- Try to avoid drinking too many liquids before you go out crossdressed and keep a tab on your drink consumption while out. There is nothing worse than arriving at your destination needing to go and to find no safe bathrooms or huge crowds of people around.
- Unless it is Halloween do not venture into the men's bathroom while crossdressed. The risk for confrontation is just too high. If confronted you are alone, possibly trapped and probably out of the earshot of aid. Also, if there was any doubt as to your gender before you entered the men's room, there won't be after.
- Many places these days offer separate bathrooms for the handicapped or for families. These are often ideal because they are unisex and usually have locks on the doors so that only one person or family can use it at a time. Almost always these are the first best options if available.
- If there is a waiting line for the women's room it is best to avoid it at that time. The longer you are in line the more likely you are to be read and with larger crowds the chance that someone will object is greater. Generally, you should always seek out the least crowded rest rooms available.
- If you wish to monitor the bathroom traffic before entering the lady's room then do it from a non-conspicuous location. If you are spotted this could seem like lurking and taken the wrong way, so be careful.
- If you are out with female friends ask them to scout the bathroom for you and accompany you in when you go. A female companion will help in smoothing possible objections or problems.
- When you are out with several crossdressers the odds are greatly increased that someone in the group will be read. That being the case it is best to ask the manger what the policy is concerning the bathrooms. Another way to handle this situation is to take turns standing outside the door while each of you go. Be quick and courteous taking care not to have your group hog the bathroom.
- Remember that you are in the women's bathroom for one reason and it's not to hang out, primp your makeup or engage in "girl" talk. Do your business and then leave. You can check your makeup and hair elsewhere. The idea is to limit your exposure to potential problems. Not "hanging out" will go a long way towards this goal.
- If you are using the lady's room please act like a lady. This means sitting down, not standing when going. Someone may notice your feet are pointing the wrong way if you are standing and at the very least it sounds different enough to possibly raise suspicion.
- Even if you are at a support group meeting, or transgendered friendly event, don't assume that you can use the lady's room. I know of support groups where the group's lease specifically states that they will not use the lady's bathrooms.
- As an emergency measure keep a "pee bottle" (a wide mouth plastic juice bottle works good) in your car. Not pleasant, but if all else fails you at least have an option. Though we may look like ladies we still have the advantage of male anatomy, and might as well use it. If you have to resort to this option please be sure you are parked in a spot far away from anyone.
- Even by following my guidelines you can still run into trouble, or have it hunt you down, as was the recent case with a New Jersey crossdresser. If you do encounter a problem it is best to be honest. Lying is only going to make your motives appear questionable and hurt in the long run. A rational, well-spoken explanation may be all it takes to get you out of the situation.
By following the guidelines that I have presented here you should be able to minimize the potential for bathroom "issues" while you are out crossdressed. Each situation is different however so always use your common sense and trust your instincts. See you next month.
Diane
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