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But It's Different...
By Jami Ward
You know what pisses me off? Probably not, so I'm going to tell you.
Some of the things that get to me, anyway.
People who drive slowly in the left lane on the freeway piss me off. Come
on! If you're going to do the speed limit, get over in the slow lane! Of
course, it's different when I'm in the fast lane. If I'm going too slow for
the speed demon behind me, it's for a good reason. Hey, there's at least one
other lane, and if I'm going too slow to suit you, use it to pass.
And as long as we're on the road, tailgaters make me angry, too. I've had
some people behind me at high speed that would need a marriage license to get
any closer to my rear end. Of course, it's different when I'm behind someone
else. I know exactly what I'm doing and how to control my car. If the
person in front has a different comfort zone than I do, that's their problem.
Slobs piss me off. It doesn't take much effort to bathe and put on clean
clothes. Of course, it's different when I'm relaxing and being casual on the
weekend. I've been looking nice all week and deserve a break from having to
dress up.
Fat people get to me, too. I mean really obscenely obese people. Haven't
these folks heard of self-control and sensible eating? Of course, it's
different when I put on a few pounds or more. Sometimes, these things just
happen when I can't exercise and my metabolism gets messed up and there's
lots of good food.
Lying pisses me off. From politicians to friends to family, honesty is
always the best policy. It may hurt initially, but in the long run, it is
less painful to tell the truth. Of course, it's different when I have to fib
a little every now and then.
Violent behavior scares me and pisses me off, too. As human beings, we are
supposed to be able to exercise control over our baser emotions. Of course,
it's different when someone threatens my family. Any action is acceptable
then.
Intolerance in any form really pisses me off. Because our nation is founded
on the principle of freedom, ours should be a live and let live society,
after all. Of course, it's different when things piss ME off.
Finally, know-it-alls make me angry. It truly pisses off us folks who
really do know everything when those who only think they do butt in and
interrupt our erudite explanations of how the world works.
(And what is it with all these people talking about rocks and glass houses?)
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