Shopping 101
Beginner's Luck: Part One
By Jessica Brandon, B.S. (Bachelorette of Spending)
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six
Hello, Darlings! Wherever you call home on this beautiful blue ball we call Earth, I
hope your winter was mild and relatively without snow. I used to love the white stuff
when I was a kid (mainly because shoveling same supplemented my then meager allowance!), but now I hate snow with a purple passion! Now that Winter is a pleasant memory,
thank goodness, let's look forward to Spring and the warmer weather that is to come!
Anything, I mean A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G beats snow!
This month, in the tradition of all those exciting Saturday matinee serials like
Captain Marvel and the Lone Ranger, I'm starting a multi-part series on shopping for
the beginner. For the rookie crossdresser, shopping for clothes was about as
complicated as nuclear physics, not knowing what our correct sizes were, what types
of clothes and colors looked best on us, never mind the mysteries of cosmetics or
where to shop to build your wardrobe. Well, for the benefit of any fresh from the
closet beginners out there, or old timers, here's my primer on the shopping thing.
For starters, you have to measure yourself in order to determine your proper dress
size. Using a standard cloth measuring tape, you will need to take these three
measurements while in your birthday suit: the broadest area of your chest for bust
size, the narrowest area of your waist, say, across your belly button and the
fullest part of your hips. Once you've done that, go to any catalog and check the
sizing charts for women, then pin down your dress size in the "Misses" section which
will always be in even numbered increments. When in doubt, go one size higher, otherwise, you'll buy
clothes that are too tight for you.
Next, you'll have to take your height into full consideration. The majority of
clothes on the market today are designed for women no more than five feet seven
inches in height, which, for some of us can be a bit of a problem. Especially for
girls like myself who are over six feet tall. For the most part, for tall girls, it's next to
impossible to wear Misses sized clothes because of what I call, the discrepancy in
regard to sleeves on blouses, sweaters, blazers, jackets and coats and inseams for
those of you who favor wearing pants.
As I've mentioned in past columns, sleeves should reach
right down to your wrist where your hand bends upwards, or no better than an inch
above same. As for inseams, the standard length of 29 inches does us absolutely no
good as that will barely reach your ankles and will invariably make you look
ridiculous while you're out in public. For tall girls, look for inseams on pants of
at least 31 to 33 inches. If you can find unhemmed pants in your travels, so much
the better, you can have them tailored to your specifications. Once you've made all
those determinations, where to go from here? Well, if you're too scared, nervous,
apprehensive or self-conscious about going into a store to shop, as most beginners
usually are, the best alternative is mail order. Shopping by catalog is quick, easy
and painless, you don't have to deal with pushy salespeople, or John and Jane Q.
Public giving you funny looks while you shop. You simply pick up a phone, call a
number and tell the person on the other end what you want, how to pay for it
and where you want it delivered. Nothing can be easier.
Depending upon the mindset of the person, and we're all different in that regard, it
takes a goodly amount of time to build up sufficient courage, or, in some cases,
apathy towards the rest of society in order to shop in public. As I mentioned in a
past column, you need to take "The Three A's" (Appearance, Attitude and Assertiveness) to
heart before you decide to hit the stores. For the rookie, start small with a
boutique or dress shop where you won't face large crowds, once you build up your
confidence, then head for the department stores.
Now we come to what to have in your basic wardrobe. As according to the legendary
JoAnn Roberts, a beginner's wardrobe should include the following: 1 suit, 2 basic
dresses, 1 sweater, 2 basic skirts, 2 pairs of shoes and six blouses. You can add to
that list: trousers, traditional 5 pocket jeans, 1 rayon t-shirt, black leather
boots, a trench coat, gold button earrings and a good leather belt. As for colors,
JoAnn suggests these basic colors: black, white, beige, navy and red. For fabrics,
go with jersey, lightweight wool crepe, crepe de chine, gabardine and fine cottons.
Well, kids, that’s all for now. In Part Two of this feature, I'll talk in depth
about where to shop for the basic wardrobe, what to add to same along with a
breakdown on shoes.
In the meantime, if you have any comments, tips or opinions, please address them to me at treetop@voicenet.com. And, until next month, shop not just
with your heart, but with your head!
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