Do you remember what it was like when you first crossdressed? When you made that
first call to a hot line? Went to your first meeting? Met another first
crossdresser?
Or perhaps you are a significant other. Do you remember when you first found out
about your partner's crossdressing? When you made that first call to a hot line? Or
perhaps when you called a therapist. What about your first meeting? What about when
you first met other significant others or other crossdressers?
Do you remember all your fears, your questions, your concerns?
When we significant others have been members of the community for awhile we tend to
forget how difficult it is for first-timers. Sometimes we cannot even remember when
crossdressing was not a part of our lives. We have grown accustomed to the ways
crossdressing affects our relationships and have made compromises, some more than
others. Some of us have become active in gender events, even going on to leadership
positions. Others of us have settled into a routine where crossdressing is not major
in their lives. Some of us, unfortunately, have found crossdressing too much to bear
and have left the community.
For those of us within the community it becomes important to remember what it was
like when we were first-timers. There are calls to hotlines almost daily from
crossdressers or their partners who are experiencing the fears and concerns we have
experienced. These newcomers need to be helped, educated, and reassured. They need
to learn they are not alone and that there are others out there who have been where
they are and understand what they are going through.
For those of us who have become complacent and think everything that can be said and
done has been said and done, it becomes a jolt to find that our work is far from
done, that no matter how many talk shows there are, no matter how many articles have
been written, books published, there still is a huge segment of society that knows
little about us and only a few are lucky enough to stumble upon a magazine publishing
information about our community.
Even then only a few have the courage to make that phone call and find out there
really is help for them. That's why it's up to us all to give newcomers the help and information so many of them need.
(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley
Girls.)