Got something on your mind? Would you like to talk it over with Rachael?
Drop a line to Rachael and she'll help you as much as she can.
Dear Rachael:
I am 18 years old. When I was about 7 years old I started to find it interesting to
dress-up in women's clothing. Having two older sisters, and living with my mom since
my parents were divorced created lots of opportunities for me to do so. However,
I turned out to be a normal boy for the most part. For the past 3 to 4 years my desire to
dress, and more importantly to be seen as a woman has increased. While I do not own
any clothes at the time, I have been wearing clothes from my sisters and mother for
quite some time. I have found the Web extremely informative and it has has provided me
with lots of information on transgendered people. I feel the desire to start dressing
up and to start to move towards a more feminine life but I am too shy to do so all
by myself. I still live with my family, and I am afraid to tell them this since we are
a very conservative family. However, I would like to meet some people that share
my feelings, and hopefully they could also teach me how to dress-up properly. I live
in Arizona, and for what I've heard in your chat rooms, there isn't that many places to get
help here. Thank you very much. Love,
Anna Hedge
Dear Anna:
Three things have to happen, Anna. First, you must get yourself into counseling as
well as joining a self-help group. The second is the need to tell your mother and
sisters (at least your mother). You might be surprised... they may already suspect
and are waiting for you to come forward... just don't tell them by being dressed when they
get home; that most always has disastrous results. How you "tell" is up to you, one
at a time or as a group, but do it in a calm, straight forward and unembarrassed
manner. Give them plenty of time to react and ask questions. They'll have plenty. They may
want to "fix" you, but must understand that you are not broken.
One of the best ways to become secure in your own thoughts is to go through counseling
with a counselor versed in gender issues. You must decide on whom you really are,
rather than saying that you want to move towards being more feminine. A counselor
can help you with this. Arizona is not at the end of the universe. While it may take a
while you will find both counseling help and a peer group. Keep looking on the Web!
(Editors note: Check the TGF database for resources in your area.)
In the meantime, the third thing you need do is to develop a relationship with a gender
organization so that you can exchange everyday thoughts and answer questions on how
to dress, etc.
The process will take time, patience and understanding... yours and your family's.
Dear Rachael:
I'm 40ish and although I've always considered myself a girl/woman I've had to live
my life as a male with my true desire hidden under my clothes. Recently I've thrown
in the towel and started dressing and going out as my true self and have started
taking hormones. I've been married and divorced twice. I married because I thought it was
the proper thing to do in society and so people wouldn't think I was gay. All the
wrong reasons but both women knew about me early on. Question, am I gay?, because
I've married and dated women and only thought about going with a man? Would I be normal if I
dated men? I am planning to have surgery to get my body in line with my mind. I hope
this letter doesn't sound corny.
Bye Bye,
Vanna
Dear Vanna:
I answered you, as you know. I had told you that you were not necessarily gay, although
that would have been okay. I feared for you going out and fooling men as to your
gender and suggested that you not. Further, I suggested counseling. Before I could
put the answer in my column you answered back (below). It sounds like you are far ahead
of some of my advice... good for you! I have no recommendation as to therapists...
but look more here and/or post a person on this Portal for others to see and suggest.
I wish that you would see a psychiatrist first and not go into an (illegal) self-administered,
HRT program. You could kill yourself. Lastly, to beat a dead horse, do not, please
do not date by fraud... tell the guys what you are or better yet, don't date.
Dear Rachael (cont.):
Thanks Rachael, for your quick response. TS, TG, or TV what's a name. My mind and
spirit are one and I've been a woman all my life. If I could just get this body (Machine)
to cooperate. I'm taking the steps necessary to make it so. I've started taking hormones and will see a doctor next week. Electrolysis will start in Dec. or Jan. It sounds
like I had better find a Therapist soon. Any suggestions? I live in NW IN., Portage.
I was planning on surgery by this time next year or when the electrolysis was complete for the most part. It may sound like I'm rushing things but I'm not. I'm taking
one step at a time and all, well thought out. I'm making a list of doctors that are
knowledgeable and up to date on the latest procedures. It will probably take a year
for all to fall in place.
Thank You,
Vanna
Dear Rachael:
I'm a bi-male 53 been married for 23 years, but I really like TV's. I guess TV, she
males, TG's. I don't know all the designations. I like beautiful women that happen
to have a dick. They are really nice (most of the time) but I'm worried, I have started
to go out on my wife. She doesn't like them and I love her. I'm up a tree. Sorry if
this e-mail took up some of your time, just venting my feelings to someone whom might
care.
Love and Kisses,
Ken
Dear Ken:
Get a life! You make yourself sound like a real creep, though you are probably not.
Your first loyalty should be to that wife you love so much. Now, you are nothing
but a cheat! Leave all those gender folks alone. They deserve better than you! You
may need professional help. If so, get it soon for your sake and the sake of your wife.
Dear Rachael:
I am considering low dose HRT. I know through my research that our bodies utilize
cholesterol in producing progesterone and estrogen. My problem is that I have a borderline
high cholesterol level and take a prescription drug called ZOCOR to control its levels. I have several questions, first, will ZOCOR have a negative affect on HRT therapy,
that is, will it reduce the feminization process. Second, can HRT therapy also, control
or reduce cholesterol levels in my body. My health is very important to me; any advice or information in this area would be greatly appreciated.
Paige
Dear Paige:
You flatter me. I do not have a clue as to the interactions of these medicines. Even
if I did have a clue I would do what I am going to do now... referral! Please see
your doctor for an educated response to your concerns. You seem to be well above
the curve on knowledge of potential reactions... now go to the experts for your answers and
not rely on information gleaned off any Web site.
Rachael
(Editor's note: Hormone and other health related questions amy be sent to our medical
correspondent, Dr. Sheila Kirk.)

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