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Desirelines: An Unusual Family Memoir

Peter & Richard Wherrett

Review by Siobhan Ellis

I didn't become an Epileptic and I didn't become a drunk either, which is just as well because I didn't - couldn't - stop. I became a confirmed, addicted, obsessive cross-dresser. My resolve to stop lasted only until the next opportunity came around. And the next and the one after that."

When I read that sentence, I thought, "I know, I have been there". However, that sentence not only describes Peter having to deal with his cross-dressing, it also describes something else about this book. In one sentence, it describes the man that Peter and Richard called Father. I must admit to knowing Peter, I think, very well. When I read that passage, I could hear him say those words as if he was right in front of me. At that point, I knew that this book was from the heart - and would reveal something so utterly profoundly personal, that most people would never talk about it in private, let alone public.

This book is not about a man who becomes a cross-dresser. This book is about two men growing up, dealing with a man suffering from epilepsy, who was a cross-dresser, and became an alcoholic, probably because he was disgusted with himself. There are two people who wrote this book. One man, Richard, never married, and one of the most successful stage directors Australia has produced - and gay. The other man, Peter, 3 times married, children, a well known household name from TV, due to his association with motor racing and cars in general, who goes public as being a cross-dresser in this book.

One person said to Peter, just before the book was launched, "Why do you want to open your artery and bleed in public like this?". This is how powerfully the book comes across. I found this book to me one of the most moving accounts of growing up that I have ever read. It deals with Peter's and Richard's feelings about their own personal issues, and their feelings towards their mother and father. How, first Peter, and then Richard dealt with their father's alcoholism, and his petite malade, the euphemism used to describe the father's epilepsy. It talks about how the morals of Australia affected these two men. How those morals changed through to modern times, and how this country (which was deeply conservative) dealt with the "queer" community in general.
Peta
Peta/Peter

As much as this book is groundbreaking in Australia for the issues it deals with, and who it is about, it is a personal story. You are taken, by both authors, through their lives from a very early age through to the present day. Through their careers and loves. It also talks about the relationship between the mother and wife beating father. It is obvious that both men have a great deal of love to give, despite the circumstances that they grew up in. However, both men find it difficult, but not impossible, to love completely within the constrictions put on them by society. Richard, in particular wrote a particularly moving chapter about one of his loves, in which absence of words speaks as much as the words we are given. Very powerful indeed.

Peter, too, produces some awesome chapters. Moments that we can nearly all resonate with. His first steps outside - in the dark. His self disgust. His marriages, and the choice between giving up his loves or a part of his life. His confusion over his gender identity and why he believes it happened. All from a man that, in Australia, is considered to be synonymous with hot pumping testosterone.

I do have some criticisms, although they are small. Some sections of Peter's chapters didn't flow "right". May be because I know him. These are the sections where the editor has maybe had some influence. It feels less honest than where Peter clearly shines through. On Richard's chapters, my main issue is that of vocabulary. He has an extensive one, and there were many words that I didn't understand. It almost came across as though he was trying to be clever. Now, you could say that that is my problem, however I don't often read a book where I have to accompany it with a dictionary!

My final words on this book - Buy it! You'll regret it if you don't.

Desirelines is published by Sceptre Books



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