Transsexual Men And Women
And The Internet
By Sarah Carrier
As the explosion of Internet use continues, we will see an increasing number of individuals beginning to explore their gender identity online.
My own journey began with the Internet. Why? The Internet provides a safe and anonymous way of exploring issues that we are not yet prepared to face in a clinical setting. For someone like myself, the Internet provided a verbalization of feelings that I have had for most of my 42 years. For others though, the Internet may act as a means of sorting through the confusion and uncertainty on where someone falls on the gender map. What effect will this have on the face-to-face meetings between clients and therapists? I suspect that what we will see is in fact an increase in the number of individuals coming into counseling with a fairly clear understanding of where they are at and a decrease in those coming into counseling with what is called Gender Dysphoria(basically, confusion or uncertainty about what gender you are or want to be). With the increase in Internet use, I think therapists must change their approach. Less time will be needed in determining where the individual is at and more time spent on very pragmatic issues; how will you support your transition?,will you transition on your current job?, how will discuss this with your family and friends?, what cosmetic surgery will increase the chance of passing?, what support mechanisms do you have in place?, what hormonal regimen is best?..etc..
Individuals that suffer from Dysphoria benefit from therapy sessions as they explore the whole range of gender expression open to them and this exploration is tailor-made for the Internet. This means that more and more people will take their first steps towards self-identification online. This first tentative step will probably be in the erotic area of the Internet and that is not necessarily bad. After that, the individual will continue to explore his/her gender by going to the more informative sites that deal with Transgender issues(i.e. TGforum, Anne Lawrence, Anne Vitale). It is in this area that the true exploration begins as the individual comes to understand the myriad of possibilities that exist on the gender map.
As the individual becomes comfortable talking in chat rooms, as he or she adopts a "name" online, we see the beginning of the shaping of the person's understanding of themselves and where they fit in all of this. In other words, we see the beginning of changing the classification from Dysphoria to a more self-defined term..i.e. Transsexual man or woman, Cross-dresser, Transgendered..etc. As the individual begins to understand where they are at, they will take the next step and begin to search for information specifically related to their self-identification. This information includes not only commercial sites that cater to the Transgender community, but also information on the specific choices, obstacles, and, in the case of Transsexual men and women, the specific requirements needed for SRS or any other body altering operation. Finally, after much exploration and some confidence in what their self-identity is, the individual takes the next step which is out their front door and begin to come to gripes with a world that probably won’t agree with their choice.
The Internet allows Transsexual men and women, for the first time, to take control of their life and it empowers them BEFORE they go into counseling. By coming to grips with our gender identity in the safe and anonymous world of the Internet, we can then enter the therapeutic relationship in more of a partnership than the subservient role of client. By coming to an understanding of who we are, we can begin to take pride in who we are because, without pride,we are reduced to feeling like a second-class citizen, we are unable to purge the shame that society has inflicted on us and that we have adopted as our own.
Finally, the Internet can provide an immeasurable benefit to those with gender issues and therapist must understand the profound change that this will have on their relationships with their clients. Just as the medical profession has commented on the fact that people, because of the Internet, are much more assertive and more willing to question their doctors so to will Gender clients begin to assert themselves and begin to demand a partnership. There is an old saying that a little knowledge is dangerous and there is that danger but Knowledge will ultimately empower all of us. Knowledge and understanding help create a sense of pride and instill in the person a self-confidence and set the basis for the individual to have confidence in the decisions they make.
I am not a new womyn or any other cute label. I am a human being that happens to be a Transsexual woman. I take pride in this and my exploration of the Internet has allowed me to slowly change my shame into pride.
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