The Vampire's Lair
Soda Pop and Candy
CanesReal-life Barbie doll Cindy Jackson was in the news
recently talking about the over $100K she spent to help "change her
life." She now works as a "plastic surgery image consultant"and
notes that there are plenty of women who strive to look more like her each
time they go under the knife! If you ask me, she looks like she wasted her
money. She's okay-looking, but not gorgeous. Like Barbie? She doesn't look
anything like Barbie!
One Hanes
Place has a really cool Web site where you can order fabulous lingerie and
pantyhose at greatly reduced prices. The catch? The merchandise is slightly
imperfect, but you'll have to look real close to see any flaws in these otherwise
outstanding values. What's even cooler is if you get printed catalogs in the mail
with special order codes (giving you even better discounts than the ones on the
site), you can enter these codes into the on-line order form to enable you to buy
the items at the prices you see in the catalog! Allure recently
published a funny three-page article with pictures about big plastic surgery
boobs, how fake they look (like grapefruit halves),and how it's a shame that so
many women have forgotten what real breasts look like. These days, plastic
surgeons are getting the call from patients wanting D or double-D cup breasts. By
contrast, B and C cup breasts were considered large in the 80's. Some of the
biggest breast offenders include Dolly Parton, Pamela Andersen, and Anna Nicole
Smith. How do they sleep with those things? In the same issue, Halle Berry is
asked, "What beauty process hurts the most?" to which she replies,
"Taping my boobs for a low-cut dress and, in particular, taking the tape
off." This month's cool lip and nail colors revolve around deep, dark
colors. Plum is still very popular for the third year in a row: Almay
Luscious, Galaxy, BeneFit Dossier, Chanel Sorceress,
Maybelline Plushed Plum, Revlon Brazen Berry. Also try Almay One
Coat Mascara in shades of blue, green, hazel, or brown. To all the girls
in Renaissance, here's something for you: L'Oreal has introduced a line of
gorgeous colors called Renaissance. Deep colors such as Blue Mood, Gilded Brown,
Plumage, and Garneta mixed with a shimmery silver called Excalibur provide
exciting color possibilities for the fall months. Speaking of colors, a
local news station featured a story about wearing colored contacts. Are they safe?
Another point worth mentioning is do they look good? One girl who had olive skin
and dark brown hair looked ghastly with her lime green eyes. Please, PLEASE
get a second or third opinion before you decide to go for a new eye
color. Now for a mini-tribute to the great Candis Cayne, a fabulous
New York City drag queen who defines the very essence of glamour drag. We start off
with a review of her recent film called Mob Queen, shown at this
year's Philadelphia Gay and Lesbian Film Festival.
Movie Review: Mob Queen (1998, 87 min, 35mm, US, Jon
Carnoy) Mob Queen is a lighthearted look at what you get when you mix
goofy mobsters, a stereotypical mob boss, and the sultry and sexy Candis Cayne.
Cayne plays You guessed it! A mob boss' girlfriend. Two scheming
mobsters, George and Dip, are looking to move up in the mobster corporate ladder
when they come up with the novel idea of setting up their boss, Joey Aorta, with a
glamorous young prostitute named Glorice (played by Cayne). The two men soon
discover that the young "lady" is really a genetic male who is out to
milk their boss for all he's worth (figuratively and literally). Joey takes a
liking to Glorice (not initially, but soon after when he learns of her fabulous
oral powers) and proposes marriage, which she accepts. George is promoted to
Joey's right-hand man and tries to do everything in his power to break up the
marriage, including hiring a hit man and getting the draft police
involved. Cayne plays a believable woman, although you can't help but
notice her voice gets scratchy and strained at times. She is also incredibly tall
for a woman, but she carries herself well. Her hair is all-natural and looks great.
Cayne has a superb body, thin all over with wide motherly hips. Her breast image
leaves a lot to be desired, though, and one wonders how Joey could've missed the
fact that he was getting a handful of stuffed socks during one of their passionate
kissing and groping sessions. Aside from these minor details, I liked Cayne's
acting performance in this film. Her look reminds me of actress/comedienne
Christine Baranski who plays alongside Cybil Sheperd on the Cybilshow. The other
performances were also quite good for a low-budget film and I found myself
laughing hysterically at some of the more humorous moments. A solid three out of
five stars.
Linda Simpson
asks the pivotal question, "Are you a modern queen?"in her 15-question
survey. According to her page, "Many have tried,but only a select few manage
to become stars of the drag scene. How about you? Have you got what it takes to be
a hip New York Queen? Or, are you already tops in your fields? Quiz yourself and
find out."Question number two states: At the club you see
Girlina, Lady Bunny and Candis Cayne together. Whom do you acknowledge
first? a. Bunny, because she's older b. Girlina, because she owes you
money c. Candis, because you want a blow job Since Linda is so gorgeous,
I included her picture here. The Paper is a
great New York City club and fashion magazine. Here's a club that Candis can be
seen in: BAR D'O 29 Bedford St., New York, NY 10014; (212)
627-1580 This comfortably chic little nook is an opium den-style spot for a
relaxing drink on most weekday evenings, but on Tuesdays, Saturdays and
Sundays, gay glamour pusses climb out of the woodwork to thrill to the cabaret
stylings of drag giants Joey Arias (channeling Billie Holiday), Raven-O and
lesbian chanteuse Edwige. The trio's globetrotting schedule allows for a
dazzling parade of guest stars like the Lady Bunny, Candis Cayne and Jimmy
James. $4 cover. RuPaul has news about her newest hit single on the
Rhino Records
Website. "A Little Bit Of Love" is the followup to last fall and
winter's hit CD maxi-single "Snapshot" (which reached #4 on the
Billboard Club Play chart, peaked at #28 on the Maxi-Single sales list, and hit
the Hot 100 singles chart!) and the "Snapshot" video (which hit #1 on the
CVC Clubland chart, and was red-hot on BET, The Box, and VH1,
among others). "A Little Bit Of Love," the second single and video
from his new Rhino album Foxy Lady (his first new album in two years), has hit
the radio, charts, and TV! Right now, the single's #33 on the Billboard Clubchart
and #19 on Billboard's "Bubbling Under The Hot 100 Singles"list, while
the video is in rotation on VH1, BET, and The Box. Ru's new video is a
drop-dead scream. It features him as Queen of the Universe, fronting a glamorous
intergalactic all-girl group also including Candis Cayne (from L.A.) and Jazzmun
(from NYC). Together, this trio's like Charlie's Angels from outta space. Gay Guide's
Club Guide lists the Candis Cayne Show, Barracuda, 275 West
22nd Street( 8th Avenue), 212-645-8613. Starting at 10pm. Candis hosts a tribute to
a different diva each week. Want to see another film starring the goddess
herself? Take a look at
Always Something
Better. A film about choices, Always Something Better tells the story of a
young woman who refuses to settle for the abusive, small town existence she finds
so uninspiring and sets out on a quest for a more fulfilling, enriching,
independent life. 85 mins. Director/Writer: Steve Kinsella. Executive
Producers: Mark Montgomery and John Kinsella. Producers: Mark Montgomery, Steve
Kinsella, Andrew Schefter.Director of Photography: Jorge Diaz Amador. Editor:
Kristin M. Frascione. Cast: Nicole Freeman, Chris Sery, Candis Cayne,
Girlina, Steve Kinsella, David Asili, Tony Pompile, Angel Boris, Christina Rumore,
Patrica Cook, David Anthony Pizzuto, Carolyn SeRine, Sheila Korsi, Roland King,
Greg Pittman, Chad Ayers, Brian Davis, Jason Varge, Christian Bodegaard, Daphne
Parker, Christian Olave, Erin Carmack, Judith Lauro, Mario Ingoglia, Jason
Adams.
Anyone see that raven-haired vixen named Rockell? She has a
CD out called What Are You Lookin' At? I'll tell you what I'm lookin'at.
Not her, but her funky shoes! I want them!
Like this
column? Want to find out more about Kalina the Sexy Vampire? Then click here to checkout my fabulous
Web site! E-mail me if you think I'm
sexy.
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