You would think that when both the crossdresser and his significant other find a
compromise in their relationship regarding crossdressing that they are happy with
that everything would progress smoothly and positively. Problems were discussed;
issues were resolved; guidelines were determined; boundaries were set. Everything
should now be fine.
Only, as we know, too often this is not the case. Somehow as both the crossdresser
and his significant other begin to relax over what was once a tense situation, they
may become complacent and forget just what the compromise really meant.
The crossdresser may begin to feel so comfortable that he begins to push the envelope
a bit - more crossdressing, more activities, more clothes, etc. His significant
other may not even realize at first such escalation until suddenly she realizes he is
not going to just one activity a week, he is going to two! He is not just buying an
occasional dress, he is buying many!
The significant other also may become complacent and believe that the issues facing
her crossdresser that have been shelved for awhile - so to speak - as part of the
compromise are really still simmering on the back burner. Suddenly she is shocked
back into reality when she realizes that these issues have not only not gone away,
but they also might be even stronger issues - issues such as hormones, surgery,
living full time.
When couples who are not really committed to each other find their compromise
beginning to fray and beyond repair, they may choose to end the relationship. This
scenario is not that unusual as we all know.
What about those couples who are in a committed relationship? Just what should they
do when they see old problems emerging again, fears and concerns cropping up and
taking over.
Obviously complacency will have to go. Once again they will have to sit down and
discuss the issues, set new guidelines if necessary, recreate boundaries perhaps.
Once again there will have to be compromises, perhaps new and different.
They will have to decide if their relationship together is more important than the
concerns and needs of each one singly.
(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley
Girls.)