Very Often A GEM Can Be A Gem
By Dr. Joseph P. Murphy
As Originally Published In the Casper (Wyoming) Star-Tribune
Ed. Note: Dr. Joseph P. Murphy is a well-known physician and long-time columnist for the Casper Star-Tribune, Wyoming's statewide newspaper. Last year, he came out in a column published in April.
Hate is insidious. It seeps into the core of our
very being. It poisons how we feel and all those we touch. It
profoundly effects who we are.
I have just returned from the annual "Texas
'T' Party" in the "Lone Star State." We visited
with many victims of one special form of hate, hate inflicted
on GEMS and the transgender community. What we heard saddened
us.
One person told of how firemen refused emergency
medical care at an accident scene in Washington, D.C. The victim
died. South of Omaha, thugs murdered a young boy. The transgendered
nature of these two men cost them their lives.
More often someone stymies a promotion or yanks a
job. Marriages suffer and family life can flounder. Most often
it is a biting comment thrown out in supposed jest. Mean remarks
are not life-taking; certainly they are spirit-taking.
You ask: "What does GEM mean?" It is an
acronym for "Gender Enhanced Male." A more commonly
used word: Crossdresser. Some prefer "gender-gifted."
I like GEM.
Many people equate such propensity with homosexuality
or with perversion, even with pedophilia. This is just not true.
GEM speaks only to heterosexuals. Estimates place GEMS at five
percent of the population.
Do you want to see a real-life GEM? On any Monday
or Tuesday, go sixty miles across the state-line to Alliance,
Nebraska. "Debra Ann" Fifield will be doing the family
shopping or banking, often just chatting with friends on Box Butte
Avenue. Deb will be Deb, not David (his real name).
The other five days of the week, David is David.
He is a nineteen year resident of Alliance, an electrician for
the BNSF Railroad. "Out" in appearance to all friends
and fellow citizens. His lovely wife, Angie, is his staunchest
supporter. David/Deb has seen hate. Fortunately, he has seen much
more love.
Here are a few of our new-found friends who radiate
such love. All are GEMS.
- "Grace," a retired LA geriatrician:
He has been a GEM for nearly eight decades. He just had open heart
surgery. "I have stories I could tell you about hate,"
he says.
- "Vickie," retired Head of the Literature
Department of a prestigious Eastern University, made Dallas for
the second year running. Visiting with her is a delight as well
as a liberal education.
- "Karen" and Nancy are a beautiful couple
from Virginia. An attorney nearing retirement, Karen worked eight
years in J. Edgar Hoover's FBI. He had top security clearance.
J. Edgar likely would have understood Karen's being a GEM.
- Friday night, Rita and I sat at a table with
a GEM and his wife from Scotland, a GEM from New Zealand and "Michelle,"
a gem of a computer guru from Dallas. You may not want to join
us, but agree that it is a cosmopolitan crowd.
Of the 400 plus attendees in 1996 (more this year),
many registered as physicians. Engineers and computer wonks seemed
to head the list. Ranchers and roustabouts, stock brokers and
sales-persons, folks from many fields. All have stories to tell
of guilt and fear, of prejudice and, yes, examples of the hated
word "hate."
Why this contempt of the transgendered? Much of it
seems to take root in biblical quotations. Such a paradox!
Deuteronomy 22:5 warns that a man shall not wear
women's garments. Before enjoining the male, the verse warns the
female. "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto
a man."
Tell me, have you seen any females wearing jeans,
men's shirts, jackets and Keds lately? Women, read your bibles
and winnow your wardrobes!
At intervals during my life, I have found within
me a GEM proclivity. I have no more recollection of choosing this
behavior than I have of deciding my birthplace. Do you recall
deciding to be Jew or gentile, heterosexual or homosexual, black
or white?
All males have feminine attributes, as do all females
have masculine traits. A matter of degree. The ultimate question:
Am I man enough to express the feminine part of my nature? Societal
customs make it difficult, both in feelings and in finery. From
such dichotomy can flow hate.
I am finally accepting this aspect of who I am. This
column helps me strip myself of affectation or pretense. I have
no unpaid traffic tickets. There is no pedophilia or incest in
my background. I must admit, I do love chocolate and the "Fighting
Irish."
Ann Landers has written: "Maturity is the ability
to live in peace with that which we cannot change." Pope
John Paul II affirms: "The worst prison is the closed heart."
We all seek personal peace. A peace that flows gently
from an honest mind and an open heart. Hatred of another human
being is an abomination.
Dr. Murphy was Wyoming's first Governor of the
American College of Physicians. He is an editor of the Western
Journal of Medicine. His e-mail address is dozn@trib.com.
Marilyn/Dr. Murphy |
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