
By Julie Freeman
Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine
years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie is a regular colunnist for
the DVG newsletter and has also contributed to the ETVC newsletter, Tapestry and the Femme
Mirror. Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995. Her e-mail address is julie39@ibm.net. She
may also be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or by snail mail to DVG, PO Box
272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885
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Difficult Times
Many times I have told significant others that crossdressing really pales in importance when you
have health or financial problems, etc. Wives and partners would nod and agree but still feel
disgruntled that crossdressing had become a part of their lives. It mattered not that they were
not victims of spousal harassment or drug abuse; they still were not willing to open their minds
to gender issues.
Well, just recently I realized how very true my statement was. I would hope that others would
not have to have similar experiences before they too realize that crossdressing issues are mild
in comparison.
Our family has been hit with illness, medical complications, and most recently, the death of
close friends. It seems that this has been a particularly difficult time. It has made us
realize how fragile life is. At any time, accidents can happen and illness can rear its ugly
head.
But for so much of our lives, we take health and good fortune for granted. We come to expect it
and find any disruption to this condition to be intolerable. But in reality disruptions to our
normal routine are common and can range from being simply annoying at least to most devastating
at worst. Just read any newspaper or listen to any news broadcast and you know that difficult
times are common and frequent.
So where does finding out about crossdressing fall? It would depend on the person, of course,
and his/her previous experience with disruption to normal routine, particularly difficult times.
For those wives who have suffered through job loss with their spouses or illness of children
probably find crossdressing issues mild in comparison. Those wives who have led fairly secure
and peaceful lives probably find crossdressing issues frightening and bewildering. Those wives
who have faced horrendous medical issues or loss of family members or close friends probably find
crossdressing issues of little significance.
Although most of us are aware on an intellectual level that life is a series of ups and downs
(emotionally, financially, etc.), it is still very difficult when our lives are interrupted,
particularly when we have no control over the disruptions.
Hopefully over time we learn to distinguish between minor annoyances and major traumas.
(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)
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