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Got something on your mind? Would you like to talk it over with Rachael?
Drop a line to Rachael and she'll help you as much as she can.
Dear Rachael:
Hi. I'm a closet CD. Well, my girlfriend knows, but that's all. She is very supportive and loving. My question is this. I have started shaving my legs, this is a huge thrill for me, but it is really itchy and uncomfortable and I've found that I have to apply lotion to my legs many times a day. Do
electric razors work better? What about nair? Will people notice in the summer or do I have to let it grow back in? Bradley
Dear Bradley:
Sure, electric razors work just fine and you avoid the risk of nicking yourself. Nair is smelly, icky stuff but works too. As far as having to quit shaving during the summer months, consider this; many male athletes shave their legs. Just don't panic if someone notices. Be prepared to say, "because I prefer them that way." You owe no one a further explanation.
Dear Rachael:
I am currently seeing Dr. Richard Carroll, a therapist/marriage counselor recommended to me by Dr. Randi Ettner, but I also wanted to get more information. I am not sure where I fit on the gender scale. I say this mainly because if I were single, I would want to get surgery. However, I am happily married (with one 17-year-old daughter) and I am madly in love with my wife. She would prefer that I do nothing, but has also stated that she would stay with me even if I opted for surgery. I am currently following her wishes by limiting my cross-dressing to only those times when it is convenient and never appearing cross-dressed in front of our daughter (even though she knows). Even if I compromised with her, I think I would eventually want to at least work 'en femme' if not live 'en femme'. Are you aware of others in a similar situation? If so, how are they handling it? Also, is it even possible to get surgery and stay married? I would greatly appreciate anything you can pass on to me. Christine
Dear Christine:
Are there others like you? Of course there are...in fact there are many that share your feelings. What is rare, however, is finding a wife who says that she will stay with you even if you go through a sex change. It is probably more rare to find one that actually does.
Where you "fit" on the gender scale is hard to say. Your psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to help you figure that one out in time. If you said that you wanted SRS come hell or high water, it might be accurate to say that you were leaning towards the transsexual side of the chart. But, you did not say that. Clearly you are making compromises and choosing to limit your activities to occasional cross-dressing. There is nothing wrong with that. Bottom line is that life is a compromise. Labels are such a nuisance, anyhow. Be what you need to be and figure out what that is for you.
Dear Rachael: (Christine responds)
I really appreciate your wonderful responses. If I could, I would love to start HRT, make plans for surgery, and plan on a lesbian relationship with my wife. However, I don't think my wife would appreciate any of that. I will do nothing without her approval. I'll just have to wait and see where counseling brings us. It's really great to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks and love, Christine
Dear Rachael:
Hi. I'm John, 30 year old from the UK. I need to know what basically turned you into a CD, I'm really thinking about it ever since I dressed up and had sex with a guy. John
Dear John:
Actually, I wasn't turned into a CD, I was born that way. At least that's how I feel about it. What took forever, it seems, was accepting myself and even liking myself as a woman. That was hard and it took nearly 45 years. My experiences and feelings are my own, however. One cannot apply them across
the board to others. Your feelings may have a completely different genesis. You may be transsexual, homosexual, bisexual, any combination of these or none. One event in your life hardly defines your essence. Keep exploring...and don't be afraid of counseling.
Dear Rachael:
Any suggestions on how to approach my urologist about tucking when I crossdress? Is there any evidence linking prostatitis to extended time tucking? There was a drastic decrease in my libido, performance and orgasm after sleeping tucked about 8 months ago. Not necessarily a connection, but
I would like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience. Olivia
Dear Olivia:
The best way to approach you urologist about "tucking" is directly and openly. I have heard that tucking does effect the production of sperms but hearing and knowing are two different things. If you are in an HRT program your libido goes out the door; that's pretty well known.
When you talk to the doctor be prepared for him to be taken back a bit. My doctor was. They are professionals though and he will regain his composure when you explain your status (TV/TS/TG/etc.). Please let me know his comments and I will share them here. Rachael
Dear Rachael:
I'm a regular guy but I would like to met and be friends with a transgender person. I can be a very supportive friend but can you help me to meet someone, tell me where to look and what you think is the best way to find someone. Teddy Bear
Dear Teddy Bear:
It may not be easy for you to meet a transgendered person. Trust will be the issue. What is your motivation? Why do you want to do that? What are your desires? Do you want a transgendered friend, lover or are you just curious about your own identity? Those are not meant to be value-laden questions. We are a cautious lot, though as are most women. There are those out there that take delight in hurting and even killing members of the T-community.
Assuming that your intentions are honorable, find a T-group near you (many are listed on these pages) and attend their social gatherings. When there, be up front and honest. If you develop a mutual friendship you are on your way.
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