"Dear Stephanie,
Thank you so much for coming to the art show Friday night. Your
courage and beauty are an inspiration to me and a reminder to me of
the parts of myself that I keep hidden. This world can always use
strong feminine role models. You will always have a place to stay in
San Francisco as long as David and I are there. Come visit!
With Love,
Deirdre"
I received this letter with a small vase of colorful flowers on
the last night of my visit to California earlier this summer. The
letter was written by the partner of one of the guys I was staying
with during the most recent professional development workshop I
attended in Santa Barbara. Some of my colleagues in the workshop are
artists, and they decided to display some of their work at a formal
showing at the institute where we meet for the workshop sessions. I
attended the art show wearing a lovely gown tailored by one of my
woman friends. We had worked for a couple of days getting the pattern
right (an Issey Miyake original!), the measurements, cutting,
pinning, and sewing. The black stretchy/slinky fabric draped my
figure quite flatteringly and the full scarf of black sparkly silk
was the perfect dramatic accent to the soft cowl neckline.
My dressmaker friend wore another design that she had prepared for
herself and we made our entrance to the show as walking works of art.
As I turned and twirled, trying to show off her design in the best
possible way, the small crowd gathered around sharing oooh's, aah's,
and smiles of admiration and congratulation! This certainly was
another exciting first time experience for me! After a while we all
agreed that it just wouldn't have been much of a fancy Southern
California art opening without at least one classy crossdresser in
attendance!! And that was when Deirdre met Stephanie.
Oh, she had met Steve earlier in the week out at the cottage where
we were staying, and she had heard about Stephanie from earlier
conversations with David. But Deirdre had never seen Stephanie up
close and personal. We had a wonderful conversation about many
things, travel, art, cooking, clothes. I was certainly grateful to
her and the rest of the people attending the affair for being so open
and accepting of my enjoyment and love of Stephanie.
I had a lot of fun that night with supportive straight people who
loved me for all of who I am. But Deirdre's letter moved me on a much
deeper level. Through my tears as I read her letter over several
times, I realized that I contribute a service to the people who I
meet and interact with as Stephanie. I display courage and beauty
generated at a deep essence level of my being. I show people that I
can accept and have fun with who I really am, which is especially
gratifying following the long years that I inhabited my dark closet
of shame. I show people that they have nothing to fear being in my
presence (I don't bite!). I show people that exposing hidden parts of
ourselves can really be a simple, lively, healthy thing to do. How
clean and refreshing it is to live outside the fear and loathing of
what we THINK crossdressing (or anything else we keep hidden away)
means!! I am a better man for my crossdressing, not a smaller one!
So, during my three weeks in California I was able to do much more of
this special service.
I attended another evening party of newly-met friends from another
group at the institute who had not seen Stephanie before. I wore my
new fuschia broomstick skirt with matching sleeveless T and raspberry
cardigan. It turned out to be pretty amazing because I was in the
kitchen for several minutes with two of the women who had observed me
when I walked in but didn't recognize me until I went up and
introduced myself (seems like my voice gives me away even when my
6'4", 240 lb. frame doesn't). The double-takes they both did were
quite delightful. I even got to kick off my shoes and dance up a
storm on the living room rug later when the wine had taken effect and
the funky music rocked the stereo.
And I did further service up in the San Francisco Bay area a week
later by going to dinner and a movie in downtown Sausalito with
Rivkah, a lovely woman friend. (BTW, the audience for "The Horse
Whisperer" was about 95% women. I loved it! And the movie was pretty
good, too.) After the movie we drove into San Francisco and met
Gabrielle, another woman friend who enjoys being in the presence of
Stephanie, and we strolled up and down Chestnut Street in the Marina
District checking out the shops and cafes. I felt at ease in my black
floral print skirt, red shiny T, and black cardigan. It was a warm,
balmy night by SF standards and we wound up sipping minted iced tea
at a sidewalk table as WE did the people-watching for a change. On
the way home we stopped at the turnout on the Marin County side of
the Golden Gate bridge and spent a few enchanting minutes gazing back
at the dramatically-lit bridge with the sparkling San Francisco
skyline off to the side. The stars and moon seemed like a magical
extension of the city lights up into the sky! It wound up being a
California trip that this mild-mannered CD from Minnesota would
always remember. Imagine, I was able to have all this fun while
performing a useful service, too! Whatta deal!
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