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Edited by Lilly Crista

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Death/Birth

Everywhere I go
I feel it. The furtive 
glances of mourners
passing by a closed case,
a simple wooden box adorn
with b&w photos of a past 
not my own. 

How do I prepare a place 
for his death. Do I wear garland
or a black dress? What tears 
will I shed for him as he lays
embalmed, lifeless image of 
a colorless photo?

He gave me much in life.
as a larvae gives to the butterfly.
But does the butterfly remember the
larvae that dies for her re-birth? 
Why do I have nothing to give him?
He lived a life without a heaven
but must I keep alive his memory? Should I?


When I look in the mirror
at my naked body, will his eyes
come back to me and what will they 
see? what will they say? 
Will he see his body broken 
and scarred or the beauty
of his rebirth into me?

His body, worn by the battles
in the night when the sirens
called his name, will live
inside me, telling me stories
of fallen leaves, of the
first cold wind of winter
and his dreams of our first kiss.

He will lie in state and I will 
mourn as he mourned for me. 
His memories will travel 
with me, reminding
me of how far the journey will be,
reminding of what cost this 
journey was to him 
so that
the veil over my eyes slowly raised
and the pennies fell away.


SarahCarrier
tcar@iquest.net


Mask:

Shamed out of my own existence
Frail and fear I wear to be known
As a man I can not be

I hide my reflection in the silver skies
Conjure up the most corageous confidence, grace and smile 
I swear to god I can feel it
My womanhood 
Peering out the lids of my eyes

Amber Star
AmberStar@webtv.net



 Shannon's Wings

She stands atop the precipice, her face up to the sky,
    Her arms spread wide imagining what it is like to fly.
She sees the birds among the clouds and hears their songs
    Calling her into the air, the place where she belongs...

Why could she not have been a bird or butterfly so fair?
    Or any of God's creatures who's domain is in the air?
On earth is not where she should be, she's known it all along.
    She longs to leave the ground behind and right this tragic wrong.

The tears she's cried could fill a lake and spill into the sea,
    The years she's lied to hide her fate without discovery,
The fears she's tried to get beyond, alas, to no avail;
    Are all her wishes, hopes and dreams condemned and doomed to fail?

Then up behind her comes the sun and lights a brand new day.
    It's rays bring strength and tell her that somehow, she has a way! She
gives herself up to this faith and the promiss that it brings:
    And catching her own shadow sees... behind her, there are wings.

©1999  Sheri Evans

Sheri Evans 
sherix@deltanet.com


 More 

I had a big house, I had new cars
I had nice things - I wanted the stars
I had three dogs and a son and a wife
All the trappings of a real happy life
I wanted a bigger piece.

The money was there, the good times were, too
But throughout it all, I felt I was due.
A job that I liked, my family near,
But I had grown weary of living in fear.
I wanted a bigger piece.

For a part of me then was scared and ashamed,
And it was society I thought should be blamed
For making me fearful to speak up and say,
"I am not perverted!  I was born this way."
I wanted a bigger piece.

And then I found friends that cared about me.
Their support and acceptance helped me to see
That hiding and lying won't make me feel free,
And that no one will like me if  I / don't like me.
I've gotten a much bigger peace.

Jami Ward
JamiWard@weirdness.com
         http://members.tgforum.com/jami/index.html



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