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Language and Gender Differences

By Richard Macey
Sydney Morning Herald

Contributed by Susan Hall
Sydney
October 1, 1998

When it comes to chatter, men and women really do speak different languages.

A University of Queensland researcher - who has been recording conversations in coffee shops, offices and homes for six years - said yesterday that men and women had fundamentally different ways of talking.

"It can lead to confusion," said Dr Jennifer Peck, who analysed more than 30 hours of the tapes for her Department of English PhD project.

"Women interrupt each other. Women often talk at the same time and it's not a problem for them. Women can have two topics running at the same time."

Men, on the other hand, resented such interruptions.

"A man sees that as competition," she said. "Men prefer to be the sole speaker, taking turns. There would be a fight for the floor."

Dr Peck said she found women, unlike men, did not mind if the other speaker jumped in to finish their sentences, even if they got it wrong.

"If it's incorrect, the man will say: "No, that's not what I was going to say.'"

But women tended to avoid such hostility by agreeing before resuming their conversation to get their point across.

"Men and women not only talk about different things, there is a fundamental difference in the way men and women talk.

"Women are more about sharing experiences. What's more important for a man is expressing yourself as an individual.

"Women do more minimal responses, such as "mmmm' and "ahhh' and "yes'," she said. Women also tended to "echo" conversation partners by repeating the last words spoken.

Indeed, Dr Peck said that if women did not talk over each other, finish each other's sentences and repeat each other's last words there was a danger the conversation would grind to a halt.

"It can be a problem for women if one finds herself talking alone. She will slow down and eventually give lots of pauses."

If the speaker still failed to attract an interruption she would ask "Is that right?" of her own comment, testing whether her conversation partner was still listening.

The research found that when women and men spoke to each other the women subconsciously modified their patterns to suit the males.

"When they take on the male style of talking they take on the meaning the style embodies. They have to be competitive. They have to adopt a way of talking with which they are not comfortable."

Dr Peck said the style differences led to inevitable communication problems.

"In a way, it isolates men."

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