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One to
One
With Cindy Martin
Transgender Forum Publisher
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May 25, 1998
 will admit it: I love going to transgender conventions.
The recent California Dreamin' in San Francisco was a deliciously fun event for me and very well-done, particularly compared to the two prior Cal Dreamin's. It was first class all the way.
Now I should explain something about conventions and me. While I used to go to them to actually attend seminars, particularly when I was doing a lot of volunteer work with ETVC in San Francisco, for the last few years I've basically gone to show the TGF flag, meet old and new friends, gossip and generally socialize.
LOTS of TGF people were there, far too many to mention here, but to each and everyone I want to say how much I enjoyed seeing you.
A few interesting vignettes from the convention:
Drag Queen Rude
Some people are just so incredibly full of themselves...Prior to the Saturday night show I was chatting with Beverly Williams, whose pictorial ran here just last week, and Kalani, a lovely member who was a top competitor in the ETVC Cotillion this year. Both are gorgeous and extremely bright.
I was discussing Kalani's future as a police officer and in mid-sentence a TG I'd never met or seen before tapped me on the shoulder and demanded, not asked, that I take her picture. OK, no big deal, she was probably just a little excited. So, I excused myself, took the camera and was about to take her picture when she wordlessly waved me off, quite dismissively, took the camera and said, "I'll ask you again when I'm ready."
Yeah.
So back I went to my two friends. And sure enough, she came back and said "Take my picture now". I said, OK. And, while I admit I was greatly tempted to add a little motion blur to the photo, I didn't. Instead, I took the picture. And gave her the camera back. Not a word. No thank you, nothing. Only thing was, I forgot to mention to her that all the film was used up. But she probably is used to shooting a lot of blanks.
Elevator Fun
As anyone who has been to one of these things can tell you, travelling in the elevators is part of the fun. Even in San Francisco, it's possible to get a double-take, especially if you're wearing thigh high vinyl boots, a black leather mini, long curly blonde wig and have to bend down to avoid hitting the door.
Now honestly, anyone, including me, is going to be a little suprised to see someone dressed like this in a major hotel. But to their credit the Australian tourists who were with me when this vision entered the car were very cool while she was there. Not a word, though you could cut the tension with a knife because no one wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. When the hooker-wannabe finally left the wife turned to her husband and said with a sly look: "they must still be celebrating Carnival here." Which got us all chucking. I know that Sydney has a big Carnival in the late winter and so I asked them if that's where they were from. Sure enough, they were.
"We've seen it before," the wife said. "She's a little taller than most but at least the skirt was covering most of her up." To which her husband cracked: "You weren't paying attention."
Ricki and Me
Gorgeous Ricki Weaver and I went for a nice afternoon walk, which can be a little bit of a challenge in SF with its hills, and on this day, its wind. This was really a highlight for me, because conventions, like parties, are difficult places to have substantial conversations.
During one of our interesting chats this really whacked out looking guy came walking past and cheery as can be said "Hi Ricki!" to my walking mate. I sort of was wondering about Ricki's interesting choice in friends when she realized something all should remember when at a convention in San Francisco : wearing your name tag isn't required on Polk Street...Believe me, they'll get familiar with you without it.
Argument Clinic
Veronica Smith is one smart person. We've roomed together at a convention and she is a lot of fun to engage in discussion because she is so intellignet and well-read. Me, I'm a dummy, so I like hanging with smarties.
Veronica mentioned to me that she had seen a television talk show (uh-oh) in which the husband declared to a hostile audience that he wanted to take hormones. Next to him, Veronica recalled, sat his incredibly overweight wife who was playing the victim perfectly, telling the audience and host that she hadn't agreed to marry a woman, etc. etc. You've heard it before.
The audience ripped this poor man. Mercilessly, according to Miss V.
Then Veronica said something that was hugely interesting: she said that no one seemed to be wondering whether the guy had ever bargained to marry a woman who was 200 pounds overweight. She had changed her body, probably without his permission, so why weren't people asking her about her right to do that?
Now I should say that it wasn't clear to me that this woman had been skinny when they'd married and then added all the weight, but presuming that happened, I told Veronica I thought the argument was nonsensical. You can always lose weight, you can't easily undo hormones, I said.
Not true, she said. Stop taking hormones and most of the effects will go away, but that wasn't the point, she argued. The point was that it was socially more acceptable for the wife to change her body dramatically then for the male to change his body dramatically. Yes and no, I said, being extremely overweight in this culture is to risk severe social marginalization. Then too, taking hormones ISN'T just about appearance, or shouldn't be. It is about gender identity and I think that goes a bit deeper. Marriage too should be built on something a bit more substantial than body type.
Still her point was, is, a strong one. Particularly in the context in which she raised it: the man being berated for wanting to change his body while the wife, who had apparently already changed hers, was never called to account. I'm still thinking about this one...
Diahanna and Melissa
Diahanna |
Melissa |
These two wonderful friends were both in boy mode at the convention. Diahanna, who hasn't been feeling well of late, looked better. Melissa, who always seems to be wearing a smile, gently stood by as we chatted on a bench. Diahanna, one of the founders of ETVC, and Melissa are best known to you as the creators of TGStars, that fabulous photo collection of modern drag stars that runs here in TGF every third Monday.
When dressed, these two are very, very dangerous. Among the best looking babes in the whole community. But even in guy mode they are just a joy to be around. Both have worked tremendously hard for this community and neither has ever gotten the recognition they deserve. It was lovely seeing both.
Worst Speech
Nancy Nangeroni, who is great on her Gender Talk Radio show, gave what had to be one of the worst speeches I've ever heard at a TG convention, or for that matter, anywhere else. At an event notable for terrible stemwinders, this was the mother of the them all. It was a very long, wandering thing that had people muttering for hooks and worse to get her off the stage. Finally, Jamie Faye Fenton gave Nancy the universal sign for cutting the thing off and mercifully, she did.
The speech I've forgotten, but after it was really obvious that she'd puked it, Nancy took all the criticism with marvelous grace and charm. That I like.
Giving a speech is no picnic. It is a very, very different form of communication and Nancy, who is terrific with people one on one, just doesn't have those chops. That's ok. She's young, thin, pretty, smart and energetic. That's a damn sight more than most of us!
 ay 29, 1998, Fox Network: Jerry Springer, "Secret Transsexuals Confess." So, do you think he'll be his usual sensitive self?
I knew Springer way back when he was in politics in Cincinnati, Ohio, way before he gained talkshow fame as a confrontational jerkweed. As they say in the cartoons: "What a maroon!"
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