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Desirelines: An Unusual Family Memoir
Peter & Richard Wherrett
Review by Siobhan Ellis
I
didn't become an Epileptic and I didn't become a drunk either, which is just
as well because I didn't - couldn't - stop. I became a confirmed, addicted,
obsessive cross-dresser. My resolve to stop lasted only until the next
opportunity came around. And the next and the one after that."
When I read that sentence, I thought, "I know, I have been there".
However, that sentence not only describes Peter having to deal with his
cross-dressing, it also describes something else about this book. In one
sentence, it describes the man that Peter and Richard called Father. I must
admit to knowing Peter, I think, very well. When I read that passage, I could
hear him say those words as if he was right in front of me. At that point, I
knew that this book was from the heart - and would reveal something so
utterly profoundly personal, that most people would never talk about
it in private, let alone public.
This book is not about a man who becomes a cross-dresser. This book
is about two men growing up, dealing with a man suffering from epilepsy, who
was a cross-dresser, and became an alcoholic, probably because he was
disgusted with himself. There are two people who wrote this book. One man,
Richard, never married, and one of the most successful stage directors
Australia has produced - and gay. The other man, Peter, 3 times married,
children, a well known household name from TV, due to his association with
motor racing and cars in general, who goes public as being a cross-dresser in
this book.
One person said to Peter, just before the book was launched, "Why do
you want to open your artery and bleed in public like this?". This is how
powerfully the book comes across. I found this book to me one of the most
moving accounts of growing up that I have ever read. It deals with Peter's
and Richard's feelings about their own personal issues, and their feelings
towards their mother and father. How, first Peter, and then Richard dealt
with their father's alcoholism, and his petite malade, the euphemism
used to describe the father's epilepsy. It talks about how the morals of
Australia affected these two men. How those morals changed through to modern
times, and how this country (which was deeply conservative) dealt with the
"queer" community in general.
Peta/Peter
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As much as this book is groundbreaking in Australia for the issues it
deals with, and who it is about, it is a personal story. You are taken, by
both authors, through their lives from a very early age through to the
present day. Through their careers and loves. It also talks about the
relationship between the mother and wife beating father. It is obvious that
both men have a great deal of love to give, despite the circumstances that
they grew up in. However, both men find it difficult, but not impossible, to
love completely within the constrictions put on them by society. Richard, in
particular wrote a particularly moving chapter about one of his loves, in
which absence of words speaks as much as the words we are given. Very
powerful indeed.
Peter, too, produces some awesome chapters. Moments that we can nearly all
resonate with. His first steps outside - in the dark. His self disgust. His
marriages, and the choice between giving up his loves or a part of his life.
His confusion over his gender identity and why he believes it happened. All
from a man that, in Australia, is considered to be synonymous with hot
pumping testosterone.
I do have some criticisms, although they are small. Some sections of
Peter's chapters didn't flow "right". May be because I know him. These
are the sections where the editor has maybe had some influence. It feels less
honest than where Peter clearly shines through. On Richard's chapters, my
main issue is that of vocabulary. He has an extensive one, and there were
many words that I didn't understand. It almost came across as though he was
trying to be clever. Now, you could say that that is my problem, however I
don't often read a book where I have to accompany it with a dictionary!
My final words on this book - Buy it! You'll regret it if you
don't.
Desirelines is published by Sceptre Books
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