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Broadway Nails

By Stef Matthews
TGForum Assistant Editor


Ever since I "really" started crossdressing I have had to do my nails. The first time I did my nails was in 1985 for a Halloween party. It's been a 13 year adventure (so far) of trial and errors. There's many amusing stories that I could yarn on about, but that's not why I'm here today.

Suffice it to say that I have, at one time or another tried virtually every product out there. I've done everything from trying to let my own nails grow long enough (only twice in my so-called career have all 10 of my nails been long enough), to cheap "Press-On" nails (they don't hold), to "full-cover" nails held on with super-glue (don't look real), to nail-tips with a gel overlay (messy), to learning to do my own full acrylics (very time-consuming plus it takes lots of practice), to going to a salon and paying a pro to do them (expensive, time-consuming and sometimes embarrassing.) Over the years I have settled into using nail-tips and putting an acrylic powder on over the whole bed and nail. This, too, is time-consuming (well over an hour) and I really never wear them that long. So, I'm always on the lookout for a new product to try. In a recent Sunday paper this ad jumped out at me:

Assuming that you might not be able to read the text of the ad, it says:

Q. My nails are horrible and I have an important evening coming up. I'm interested in trying artificial nails that are natural looking and easy to apply. What artificial nail product would you suggest I try?

A. Try using Broadway Nails, full cover nails that are applied quick and easy in two steps. They produce natural looking nails and are different from other kits on the market. Part of the secret is the pink gel adhesive which mimics your own nail bed color so Broadway Nails can be worn with or without polish. Another feature is that they are extremely thin so they appear to be growing right from your own nail bed. Broadway Nails are strong and will not fall off, yet they will not damage your own nails and are easily removed. For more information on Broadway Nails, call...

So, the claims were: 1) "natural looking", 2) "pink gel adhesive which mimics your own nail bed", 3) "extremely thin so they appear to be growing right from your own nail bed", 4) "strong and will not fall off", 5) "will not damage your own nails", and 6) "are easily removed". I decided to acquire a set (or two) and give them a test. If everything they claim was true, I might have found a new solution to my problem. I don't always like to wear nail polish (how come every bottle I own seems to be "Cycle Slut Red"?) and the tips and acrylics that I use most often do pass without a polish on them.

I acquired a couple of sets (they do come in a variety of lengths and shapes) and tore into the box as soon as I got home. I was a bit disappointed at first. The nails appeared to be the everyday variety of nails and didn't seem especially thin. The package included 40 full cover nails, a tube of pink gel glue (with a cap and stand), a small orange stick (for pushing back the cuticles), a small buffing/shaping file pad, and a tiny set of nail-art decals. Well, what do you expect for $2 on sale?

The instructions were easy to follow (but printed too small for me to read, Doris read them to me!) and I got right to work on a "sample" nail. Opening the tube of "pink gel glue" was the hardest part of this experiment (the little opener/cap they supplied didn't work and a straight pin was required.) The instructions said to push back your cuticles (mine were fine anyway) and to buff the nail bed with the fine side of the included buffer. I don't recommend that you get too carried away with this step, as you could severely damage your nail by reducing it's thickness to that of an onion skin! The gel glue wasn't as "gelly" as some I have used in the past, but it did the job and it was pink. They tell you to apply the glue to the nail and to press the nail onto your own nail bed. This is typical of full coverage nails. The tough part is learning how much glue is just enough to hold the nail without requiring a vise to remove the nail (which isn't good for your natural nails either!) Being well versed in the art of applying the right amount of glue, I applied the glue to the nail and then the nail to mine and I'll be, it looked pretty good. The pink in the gel showed through the nail enough to make it almost look real. I guess claim #1 & #2 both pass!

Claim #3 was the "extremely thin" one, and I would say they definitely lied on this. These nails aren't any thinner, and probably a hair thicker, than those that I have used in the past. There isn't any revolutionary materials that give you thin, strong nails in this package! The pinkish tinge at my nail bed was the most convincing part of making this "test" nail look more real. But, the same thing can be accomplished with a well done French Manicure on any old set of nails.

Claim #4 says, that the nails are "strong and won't fall off". I'll give this a qualified thumbs-up. The nails are stronger than average, I believe, due to the fact that they are a bit thicker than average (damn, where's my micrometer?) The not falling off part, has everything to do with the amount of glue that you use and eliminating any air pockets between your nail and the artificial one. This is the tricky part because it depends upon the glue you are using, the amount you apply, and the curvature of your natural nail compared with the artificial one. I will admit that the nails included in this kit weren't too rounded and fit my somewhat flat nail bed almost perfectly. Too much glue means you end up gluing yourself to a table, too little and the nail pops off as soon as you bump it against something hard. The wrong glue won't hold regardless of how much you use, if the nail is curved like the St. Louis arch and your nail bed is flat as a pancake! No amount of glue will hold it there long. So, the trick here is practice and experience. You also don't want to get much, if any, glue into your cuticle. As it is extremely hard to remove and stunts the growth of your cuticle, which is where new nail growth stems from. But, with my gluing experience, I can report that none of the nails popped off. Now, I didn't go and do anything too hard to them. But, so far, the test nails have easily lasted what I would call my normal use; on one day and off the next.

Claim #5 states that these will not damage your natural nails. Without a question this is a total, outright lie! Anything that you put over your nails will, eventually, damage them. It all depends on how long you wear the nails, how you take them off, and what you use to take them off with!

Cover your entire nail with anything for too long and the real nail begins to "grow" in to the artificial stuff. Wear them too long (meaning months on end) and you could end up loosing your whole natural nail! This happened to my niece after wearing acrylics for almost a year straight, and it was not a pretty sight! Though professional nail-techs may argue with me, I've read enough on the subject, and had enough practical experience, to know that your nail has to breath. Maybe that's not the right term, but after applying and removing more than my fair share of artificial nails over the years, I've seen my nails get stronger and harder after giving them a break for a couple of months. If you super-glue something to your nail bed and just "rrriiiipppp" it off, you are going to take a couple, or more, layers of the nail bed with it -- maybe even the whole nail! I've removed full cover nails this way in the past and have left ridges and even extremely thin layers of nail to protect the sensitive skin underneath.

Broadway Nails recommends that you soak your fingers in acetone to remove these nails. Acetone effectively melts the plastic of the nails and begins to erode the bond of the glue used to hold them on. First off, if putting the nails on took you an hour, then expect that soaking them off in acetone to take twice as long. Plus, even acetone isn't good for your nails or skin. It evaporates very quickly when exposed to air (which explains the cool feeling you have felt when you got some polish remover on your skin) and will dry your skin and nails. Have you ever seen a woman with discolored nails? That's what acetone can do. Most nail polish and polish remover contains acetone which is how polish dries and also how remover works. Even, so called, non-acetone remover contain some acetone. But, for a few times a year, wearing nails a day or two at a time, acetone won't make any noticeable difference. Here's a hint though, don't buy acetone from a nail supply house, or cosmetics counter! Go to the paint department at your local hardware store and pay 1/10th of the price! Acetone is acetone and there's not much to be added.

Anyway, enough ranting. I generally brush acetone around the edges of the nail and mine to weaken the grip of the glue and use a metal nail file or orange stick to assist in the breaking up of the glue. I'll add more acetone to especially tough spots until the grip of the glue is weakened enough to remove the artificial nail. This again is almost an art, like knowing how much glue to apply to the nail. After one hand is free of plastic nails, I immediately wash it with warm soapy water and a scrub brush to remove the last of the acetone and glue. Occassionally, I'll get impatient and go for the "rip" technique. Usually, with disastrous results. So, in effect, claims #5 and #6 are bogus!

So what is the verdict? Well that depends. If you're a CD, like me, who only wants to wear nails once or twice a month, for a couple of days maximum at a time; then, this is a thumbs up for this product. With a big caution on the removal process! They were easy to apply, fit my fairly flat nail bed better than most, and looked more natural than most if left unpolished (but that is mostly due to the pinkish tint of the glue.) If you're full-time and expecting to wear these for weeks on end, then I suggest you grow your natural nails as long as you can and keep them manicured and live with the results.

Pros:

  • Inexpensive. Two kits for $4 (on sale) is a great price. Even at $4 a kit, isn't too bad.
  • Easy to Apply. With practice, even a klutz can figure out the process. The important thing is getting the correct amount of glue for each nail to hold it firmly in place without running the glue into the cuticle area.
  • Good Fit for Flatter Nails. The "Classic Round" kit that I tested really seemed to fit my nail bed much better than any other nails that I have used.
  • All In One. Unless you have orange sticks, tubes of nail glue, files, and tips lying around, this kit provide everything you need to apply the nails. Less, of course the experience and the acetone to remove them.

Cons:

  • Potential for Damage to Your Natural Nail. As with all artificial nail products, you could damage your nail bed by using the product too much, or too long.
  • No Easier to Remove. In line with the previous warning, the way in which you remove the nails could damage your natural nail, nail bed and/or cuticle.
  • Thicker Than Average Nails. Though the advertising claims a thinner and stronger nail, I believe the nail is indeed a bit thicker than the nails that I have used over the years.

Summary: Assuming this product remains available, I will use it for my "over-night" needs when I don't wish to apply color. If I were in need of having nails on for an extended period of time (like a convention), I would go for either acrylics or tips with an acrylic overlay as they "feel" more natural. Overall, I give this new product a solid B despite a couple of false claims in their advertising.

Until next time, I remain...

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