Do The Name Geraldine Ring A Bell?
It seems I always end up reporting on some tragic loss around the holiday season.
Last year it was a personal loss. This year it's the loss of one of the funniest
men on the planet, and one of the funniest men in a dress since Milton Berle. (Somebody
check on Uncle Miltie. He better be with us for a while, yet.) Flip Wilson
passed away after a fight with (you just know I'm gonna type it) cancer. He was far
too young for the big sleep and he will be missed.
Flip was one of the first comics that I can recall doing drag in the Sixties. Berle
had done it since the 40s (or earlier) and made it a trademark, but as far as any
regular drag character, there wasn't one till Geraldine showed up. The great thing
about Geraldine was, she was a complete character. It wasn't just Flip in a dress getting
a laugh because he juxtaposed glamour and a missing tooth. (Like Uncle Miltie would
do.) Flip was portraying a female character of his experience and doing a pretty
good job of it, too. Long before the male actresses of today, such as those mentioned in last
month's column, Flip Wilson was doing comedy skits in a mini dress and playing the
character as a female. The humor wasn't at the expense of the dressing, it didn't
laugh at Geraldine. As a kid I watched with an appreciation of the comedy and a fascination
that a man could actually be the star of his own television show and get paid to
wear a wig and dress.
Flip Wilson broke a lot of ground for crossdressers, and for African Americans. I
can imagine that he did a whole lot for African American crossdressers. God bless
you Flip. We're gonna miss you. (See Flip's Dec. 7 obit)
Say What?
Speaking of people who have benefited from the ground breaking of Flip Wilson... I
came home from an immense Thanksgiving dinner (I'm no fool, I wore the skirt with
the elastic waist) and turned on the television to find Miss RuPaul Charles
on Hollywood Squares
. Now, twenty years ago the only
drag queen who might have shown up on Hollywood Squares
would have been Geraldine. I gotta type it again, "the times they are a changin'."
While Ru looked stunning (well that wig line is a little obvious, but hey...) on the
Thanksgiving show the poor thing didn't get that much activity from the contestants.
They picked squares all around her and she just got to do reaction shots to the other
square's hilarious adlibs. Oh well, she's always good as decoration.
Have you noticed her song "You Better Work" as the background music to a camera commercial
on TV? A middle aged woman goes pose crazy in a fountain as her significant other
snaps away. I don't think Geraldine had any dance tracks of her's get used in a TV
spot.
Return With Us Now To The Garden State
Last month I mentioned how NJ has no law against surveillance cameras in dressing
rooms. This month I am able to tell you they do have a law against TVs in public
restrooms. Before you go to powder your nose in the Garden State, call your legal
counsel.
It seems that a Jersey girl in Fairfield was using the ladies' room in a hotel when
she was cuffed and taken downtown. I only hope she had time to finish fixing her lips.
It seems the poor thing had violated NJ State Statute 2C-18-3b. She was hauled before
a judge and convicted. Some New Jersey gender activists are up in arms about the arrest
and are threatening to organize the simultaneous flushing of all the public toilets
in the state by way of protest. OK, I'm kidding. But before we go off the handle...
the flush handle, let's take a closer look at the statute in question. (Hey, ain't that
where the Statute of Liberty is?)
After consulting with my crack legal team I got the actual law on my monitor. It's
available at the New Jersey Law Network website
for those who enjoy finely crafted legalese. The part that concerns us, the part
that the TV in the WC was convicted of, states:
2C:18-3. Unlicensed entry of structures; defiant trespasser; peering into dwelling
places; defenses
b. Defiant trespasser. A person commits a petty disorderly persons offense if, knowing that he is not
licensed or privileged to do so, he enters or remains in any place as to which
notice against trespass is given by:
(1) Actual communication to the actor; or
(2) Posting in a manner prescribed by law or reasonably likely to come to the
attention of intruders; or
(3) Fencing or other enclosure manifestly designed to exclude intruders.
c. Peering into windows or other openings of dwelling places. A person commits
a crime of the fourth degree if, knowing that he is not licensed or privileged
to do so, he peers into a window or other opening of a dwelling or other structure
adapted for overnight accommodation for the purpose of invading the privacy of another
person and under circumstances in which a reasonable person in the dwelling or
other structure would not expect to be observed.
Try a nice cup of hot tea. That usually unfreezes my brain after I read something legal.
But seriously, I don't see anything specific there about men in the ladies room,
do you? It's pretty reasonable to want a law to keep people from peering in the window
late at night while you're sacked out in a hotel. Particularly if you have been out crossdressed
all night in New York, and are trying to get a little rest in your slinky charmeuse
teddy, before you start that long drive home. Nope, we need a law against peepers for sure. How about that "defiant trespasser" thing. That sounds like it might
be useful for getting rid of unwanted guests, like the hopped up crackhead who has
kicked in your door and won't leave your bathroom. This one would be good to use
on relatives who just won't go home, too.
To get you on this section of the law there really must be a notice that you're not
allowed to come in. Perhaps that little icon on the door is enough of a warning that
men aren't allowed, but then again, we only know it's a female cause it's wearing that
skirt. I know plenty of guys who wear skirts. Wearing a skirt is not a proof that
you're female. Call the ACLU, I bet we can beat this one.
My guess is, and it's only a guess mind you albeit an informed one is that the
CD in question panicked and refused to leave the john when the cops showed up. That
would leave her open to a charge of "defiant trespass." That may be the reason for
the conviction.
In any event, remember girls it doesn't matter what law they use, if you are acting
weird, (refusing to leave the ladies room, acting like a nervous wreak in the middle
of a department store, masturbating under the cape while you get a makeover, going
to the mall in a too-small mini dress... that's designed for someone thirty years younger
than you... who doesn't have hairy legs) then you can expect the long arm of the
law to reach out and touch you. They will come up with some statute that they can
use to haul you in. They do this because the behavior of many crossdressers scares people.
Unless the transgender community makes an effort to do some outreach to law enforcement,
cops will have no clue why that man in a dress took off in his car and forced them
into a high speed chase. They don't know why we do what we do, so all they can do is
treat us like they treat the crack addict who kicked in your door, they subdue the
offender and get 'em off the street.
Use your heads as more than wig stands. If your presence anywhere seems to offend
anyone, it might be a good idea to do the feminine thing and go somewhere else. This
is not to say you shouldn't go where you want. You should dress and go anywhere you
like as long as you aren't entering nuclear plants or other places that actually have "no
trespassing" signs. But, if you are out in public and you seem to be causing a stir
it might be best to not loiter. You can tell, if you walk into a restroom and a woman
at the mirror suddenly eats her lipstick and runs out, that it might not be healthy
to stand around in there for too long. Common sense will keep you out of court, out
of jail, and off of Cops.
OK, that's it. Let's get going, and remember, let's be careful out there.
What a Cissy
Dateline
ran a piece on December first about a crossdressing male from America's heartland,
actually from the birthplace of that all American critter, the Jackolope (half rabbit,
half antelope... not real) a small town in Wyoming that I can't recall at the moment. My dears, you can't expect The Diva to keep track of all the picky little details.
It seems that for many years now a man named Cissy has been wearing women's clothing
24/7. He wears them to work (although he finally relented and agreed to wear women's
slacks at the power plant. He still wears the tacky ruffled tops and carries a purse)
and he wears them to local eateries... and everywhere else. One scene from the show
followed Cissy and his family into the local diner for breakfast. He was ignored
by some and greeted by others. Kind of like going into the local diner dressed in
men's clothes.
Some of the townsfolk say they think he's cracked, but it's his life so what the hey.
Others, not interviewed in the piece, have stated their bias against Cissy's sartorial
habits in more violent ways. His teeth were kicked in once by a couple of roughnecks while his young son watched. He has been beaten other times and had his property
defaced. If it's different it must be a personal affront. We better kill it.
Cissy's wife and children have had to endure more subtle forms of oppression than
a boot in the groin. They have had to interact with the other folks in that town
and act as if the man in the family wasn't walking around the K Mart in a ruffled
dress that might look OK on a 13 year old. I say "might" because even Cissy admits she has no
taste in clothes. She is the type of dresser who has no sense of style and she doesn't
even make a remote attempt to pass as a woman. There are men who are not crossdressers who are far more likely to pass as female before Cissy would.
Why does she do it? Not for the same reason that most of us crossdress. In an attempt
to shed light on why Cissy does what she does, Stone Phillips interviewed the eminent
researcher on transgender issues, Dr. Richard Docter. While Dr. Docter made many
good points about crossdressing, and helped to provide some understanding of why most
of us do it, Cissy still came off as a loon. As England has its loads of eccentrics waddling
around the landscape in various strange getups, Cissy seemed like our own American
nut bucket. The average viewer probably said, "That poor man. Why can't they give him
some medication or something? His poor family."
The report brought out the information that Cissy was abused as a child. It isn't
hard, although The Diva is only a columnist and not a licensed psychologist, to make
the connection between the abuse and the dressing. When Cissy was a little boy he
stole his sister's clothes and hide them in the barn. When he was sent out to do his chores
he would put on the clothes and escape from the abuse in another persona... Cissy.
This is similar to stories of split personalities, the abused individual splits into
another persona that can deal with the abuse.
For Cissy a day without women's clothing is like a day of torture. While I may miss
my Enzo pumps, charcoal tights, tight mini, and chenille sweater... I can dress in
men's clothes for work, and other activities without having a nervous breakdown.
Why just this week I went without crossdressing for several days. Hold it a minute... gotta
take this pill. There, that's better. I'm much calmer now. Hand's not shaking at
all.
Cissy, on the other hand, can't go without women's clothing. A psychologist who treated
him said that Cissy could not function without crossdressing. That makes Cissy's
crossdressing a mental problem. Sadly, it reflects on all of us. Not that Cissy isn't
somewhat courageous for doing what she must do, and I admit, it is less costly to treat
your symptoms with cheap ruffles from Walmart than it is to go after the deep, painful
root reasons with expensive psycho therapy, but (there's always a but with The Diva) Mr. and Mrs. Average American are going to say that must be what we're all like.
The media coverage has made Cissy a star and if he want's it he can have his fifteen
minutes of fame. I have it on good authority that Rosanne's people have been calling
Cissy to appear on a Roseanne Show
about transgender stuff this week. If you're available they're looking for some TVs
and TSs to come on the show and "have fun with it." Check your local listings and
see if Cissy can get time off from the power plant to frolic with Roseanne. He may
be busy since he has been elected to the National Board of Veterans for Peace. That is a
real honor and it shows that some folks can get beyond how a person dresses. (Not
The Diva though. I just can't forgive bad taste.)
Hedwig & The Angry Diva
A few months ago I was idly thumbing through the casting notices in Backstage magazine
when the word "drag" caught my eye. I homed in like a hawk and read the whole listing.
They were looking for a drag artist to portray a transsexual rock singer named Hedwig. I was interested since I do sing and drag is never a problem, but it was for
an off Broadway stage production. Unlike some actors I don't have a little place
in Manhattan where I can relax while working in the city. I thought, "I could go
to the audition and just give it a shot. If they happen to offer me the part I'll figure something
out." But, in the end I decided to not go. It was so much simpler to go shopping
and have a cocktail, or two.
I have since come to regret that decision. Whatever it was I bought on that shopping
trip is already lost in the bottom of that pile of hand laundry I remind myself to
deal with every morning, and then never get around to, and the cocktails probably
gave me a sore brain the next morning. The show however has become an off Broadway smash.
The original star John Cameron Mitchell, who created the punk rocker TS, Hedwig,
has decided to leave the role and the guy who had the brains to go to that audition,
Michael Cerveris, has stepped into the wig. Cerveris is best know for his roles in The Who's
Tommy and Titanic on Broadway. No doubt he'll fill Hedwig's platform boots in a more
than adequate manner. As you can see from the alluring photo on the left, yeah that's Michael, the "new girl" is even
better looking than the original. The bastard.
In other Hedwig news, Newline Cinema is in final talks with Hedwig creator, Mitchell,
to write and star in a film based on the musical. And, Atlantic Records is releasing
a concept album based on the musical that will contain new Hedwig tunes not performed in the stage show.
The show's name, Hedwig and The Angry Inch, is a reference to the botched SRS that
leaves Hedwig with "an angry inch" of member. (It's also the name of Hedwig's band.) Find out more about the musical at its WEBSITE.
What A Dame
While Hedwig is doing boffo box office in NYC, Dame Edna Everage is preparing a new assault on the Colonies. While the character has had
huge success in England, Barry Humphries' Australian housewife turned snob hasn't
caught on with the commoners in the States. She's had some PBS play and a few specials
on network TV, but nowhere near her success on the stages of England, Australia, and Europe.
Now Dame Edna Everage is attacking in what may be the best possible place to start
a planned drag takeover of the country, San Francisco. Her stage show is booked into
the Theatre on the Square through the end of January. It's her first appearance in
an American theater since the ill fated show, Housewife/Superstar, in 1977. Apparently
it's going a little smoother this time since San Fran named November 26th "Dame Edna
Day." Let's see how she goes over in Wyoming.
Congrats to Edna and her creator, Barry Humphries. Edna's sharp tongue and biting
humor have served as a role model for this Diva. Edna once said of her sense of humor,
"Oh, but I'm a lucky, lucky woman because I was born with a priceless gift ... the
ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.''
So, at the end of this month's, and this year's columns, as Edna herself would say,
"Good night possums!" See ya next year.
The Diva is a busy woman who just can't read every page on the web and
every newspaper. If you come across any juicy dish send it along to The Diva.