Scary, exhilarating

Coming Out At Work:
The Reaction

By Anne Canfield


Background: Early in April 1997 Anne Canfield told her colleagues at Microsoft that she was a transexual. Here is some of the reaction she received. If you have a "coming out at work" story send it to Cindy Martin and we'll publish it. The community needs to know what is really happening, good and bad.


    Hi Cindy

    The response to Friday has been incredible. I've been on a cloud since then. The outpouring of support amazes me - my group even threw a party for me Friday afternoon.

    I plan on keeping a journal of my experience with transitioning here at work & would be happy to share it if there's interest. It's already done wonders for me to go back and reread entries to see how far I've come. I do want to take a moment to thank you and the others at tgforum. It has been so helpful to me. You're doing our entire community a huge service.

    I've broken these down by group - people I work with & people that are on the gay/lesbian/bi/trans alias here at work.

Group & coworker responses:

Well done. You have both my support and my blessing. Thanks for all the questions you've answered for me in the past and I'm very, very glad you'll be staying to answer more in the future.


Hey -- for what it's worth, here's my 2 cents.
1. I support you.
2. I think you have a lot of courage to share this with the team/group
3. I know I think it's an *interesting* thing, but I don't have any issues.
Best of luck.


The meeting I attended went great! You've got a lot of support with this group - me included. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.


I can't imagine the amount of courage it took to send this. I wish you the best of luck in your transition!


You got your message across very graciously. You're one classy lady!

You are the first person that I know personally, who made this kind of decision. Before I felt really strange about gender transition. But when I saw you speaking to us, and I imagined what a piece of courage it requires to come with this on public, take a risk of how family, friends, coworkers will react, I realized, it has to be something really strong behind.

I think you can feel happy to live in so great country (and working now for MS), because in Europe it would be much-much harder to start this kind of new life. The prejudices of people are just too strong. The point is, that nobody can truly understand unless he has the same feelings.

From our perspective as your co-workers, basically nothing changes at all. Because at work, it is mainly the mind that counts. And it will remain the same.


Well, you have my support! I'm glad you were able to "go public" today, and I hope this road leads to more happiness for you.
You'll do great. Not everyone will be nice but they are the same people that suck anyway. Please talk whenever you fancy. If I can help you with any of the women's issues let me know. Take care and welcome to the club with all its little secrets.
I am happy for you. I wish you all the best as you make your transition.
Just wanted to reassure you that I hope to keep working together "as before". You know your job; you're clear, direct, organized,and able to negotiate. I see no "issues" here. I'm glad to know MS is "grown-up" enough to accomodate your circumstances !
good stuff Jon. I salute the guts and resolve it took and will take for this transition. If one doesn't live boldly, what's the use of living? If there's ever anything you need or I can help during this transition, please let me know.
i know it took a tremendous amount of courage to stand up in front of everyone and announce this, and then to send this mail. i have enormous respect for this, and for the fact that you have decided to go through with something that, while difficult, is clearly very important to you. congratulations

in my numerous discussions with folks on the dev team yesterday, i didn't uncover any potential issues with people, but of course it may take more time to tell for sure. i did tell all my directs that, at minimum, i expect professionalism with respect to this, and preferably support.

From our perspective, nothing has changed. Jon has always done right by me and has always been a great professional co-worker. As I believe, this should not be a problem, but just a matter of adjustment. I have already let him know that he can expect no change in the team's professional relationship. If you can handle changing the feature set 5 days before we ship, then you can handle this ;-)

Professionally, this doesn't affect me at all. I want to join your team and can't wait to start. Personally, I completely support your decision. It takes a great deal of strength and courage to be honest with yourself. I respect you for having that courage. Matters such as this do not make me feel uncomfortable and won't affect my work at all. I wish you the best with your decision :)

Jon, you are incredibly brave and I applaud your decision. I have always liked you and you know that. You need anything, you just let me know. We girls have to stick together. Welcome aboard!


All i can say is that me, and I am sure everybody in our team is 100% supportive of your decision. Do what it takes to make YOU happy. My respect for you, has increased 10 times more, for you being so honest and open about this with our group. If you ever need to talk... I'm always there. You have been a great manager for all of us and nothing can change that. Wish you good luck and all the best.
I'm happy for you that you've reached some decisions in your life and feel steadfast about them........life only goes around once, right? Thank you for sharing with me; I do support you and will be here if you ever need anything.
Hi Jon, thanks for letting me know. Wow...i'm sure this is a very tough thing for you to be dealing with and i hope you're doing okay...you've always tried to be very helpful to us here in recruiting and we sure appreciate you and all of your help, and i know that won't change!!!! I wish you the best with the changes you're going through and appreciate you letting me know:)
Alias responses (from gays, lesbians at work):

I've never met you. Do what you gotta do, and I wish you the best. Be glad to work with you anytime.


Congratulations... and good luck... let me know if I can help
best of luck Jon, you're brave, and you've got my support-
Congratulations and best of luck with your transition. Over the past year I've become very good friends with and individual now in the final stage of her transition (she goes under the knife next month). Having seen her grow and develop has been exciting for her and for those around her.
I wish to extend an very stong and sincere CONGRATULATIONS to you. I think this is not only wonderful encouragement to transgender people, but also to anyone who has stuggled with coming out and the issues of being true to themselves.
I wish you all the happiness you deserve. Keep strong. I am sure you have a tough road ahead. I really admire your courage.
You go, Jon! It's going to be an uphill/downhill ride, but you will treasure the times during this transition when people look at you and see a woman. Good luck.
I wish you the best. It's obvious you have done a lot of deep soul searching. You are very brave, and I admire your honesty. Remember that no matter who we are, or how we act, we can never please everyone. You have to do what you know in your heart is right for you.
Good work,

Makes me remember with fondness pressing the "Send" button on my own "Have I got news for you!" message almost exactly five years ago. In my case I didn't drop the bomb until the Friday before the Monday I went full-time.

If you need any support, give me a call. This is one of the most amazing and most socially knee-melting experiences of any life. I don't know if it's appropriate or required but I'm available if for any reason a third party is needed to answer questions for team members. As you mentioned, it is a roller coaster. Hang in there on the downs. Fortuntately this is not a first experience for Microsoft as a company and I think it knows how to do the right thing. Personal experiences and relationships with individuals on your team will certainly vary. I can see that you are fully ready for this though so I know you can roll with it.


Wow, I'm very glad you made the decisions you've made and were confident enough to share it with everyone. My friend is lucky to have such a manager like you. Many warm wishes in your transition.
We've never met, but I just want to tell you that I really admire your courage. Coming out to coworkers is hard enough. You've added another dimension to coming out. Good luck!
Thanks for sharing this. Your eloquence and courage are inspiring. Will you do a name or email change? I would like to be able to use you as a reference for other transgendered people who contact lesbigay about joining the alias. Is that OK with you?
I admire you for your courage. How wonderful for you to be this open in the work environment. Congratulations! See ya girl-
Congratulations on taking such a big step. Good luck.
This is really, really beautiful. I wish you all the success in the world as you continue on this journey.
All the best wishes while you go through the transition. You are one of the most courageous people I know... and I've never even met you. Good luck to you.
Wow, Jon....I can't thank you enough for sharing this info with the group...you can count me in as one of your supporters...
Wow... and I thought being on this alias was becoming a bore lately. All I can say, I wish you success and happiness. Glad to hear you got a positive reaction from your team.
First I would like to congratulate you for you courage to fulfill your destiny. I really admire people that finally find out what it is all about and don't let it intimate them from reaching the goal line just because the journey ahead is very long and very bumpy. Please keep us, or at least myself informed how the process is going.
I salute your bravery, and wish you the best. Your memo was well written, thoughtful, and complete.
Congratulations on your courage. I wish you the best in your journey.
Congratulations! Sounds wonderful, I'd love to hear more about your experiences throughout.
Congratulations. I just wanted to say I wish you the best and I hope it goes well for you.
Kudos!!! - and I'd be proud to serve under any test manager that is this upfront, honest, sincere, etc. etc. -- this kind of sincerity and humanness (and the fact that you don't need to leave your humanity at home when you go to work) ... is what makes this place great ...my best wishes to you in all your endeavors.
You've written a beautiful and eloquent letter. Your honesty and openness - your integrity - is so encouraging. I wish you strength... I'd offer my blessing, but from the sounds of things, you're already quite a blessed individual... oh well, it never hurts to have a bit more
you go...girl! :) bon chance et courage.
guy or gal, you are one brave person.
Congratulations! I admire your honesty and your willingness to work with your team on this. I think TS issues are one of the hardest for our society to understand. Good luck.
Jon, I got your note via the alias and although I don't know you, I just wanted to wish you the very best. It kind of sounds like the roughest times (those spent wondering and not knowing for sure) are behind you, but who knows what the future holds. I, too, am so grateful to work at Microsoft where there is an atmosphere that allows you this and even lets me in on it. But, mainly, I just wanted to wish you the very best on your exciting journey. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with all of us.


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