By Julie Freeman


Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie is a regular colunnist for the DVG newsletter and has also contributed to the ETVC newsletter, Tapestry and the Femme Mirror. Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995. Her e-mail address is julie39@ibm.net. She may also be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or by snail mail to DVG, PO Box 272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885 .

Post Convention Let-down

After attending my first holiday-en-femme in 1987, I remember coming home and feeling that I had lost all of my best friends. It was a very difficult two days that followed. What made my depression worse was that Donna and I belonged to no gender group at the time. In fact, it was several months before we attended another event.

So I was quite prepared to feel that let-down after our next convention which was a few years later. It was easier that time as by then we had joined a local support group and had activities on our calendar.

We are not the only ones to feel this depression. We have talked with many (SO's and CD's alike) who have mentioned how difficult it is adjusting to reality after a few days of fantasy. Sometimes you will notice it at brunch on the last day of a convention as CD's in drab know that it is time to head home, particularly difficult for those whose wives and partners are unsupportive.

Conferences now offer seminars on post-convention depression. These are definitely recommended for those attending a conference for the first time.

I doubt that post-convention depression is limited to gender conventions only. I remember as a child feeling sad when I came home from camp, having established deep friendships with others whom I probably would never see again.

To a degree this happens when we finish a good book or see a good movie. We have so identified with the characters that when the END comes it is hard to adjust to reality.

Fortunately, for all of us, gender conference or camp, we do adjust to reality and begin to feel better. If we didn't, we would probably never attend another conference again!

(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)


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