Friends, Lovers & BorrowersBy Linda Kaye"Whose earrings are you wearing???!!!" The question posed to me came from Vanessa, by nature a generous and loving partner, but when it comes to “her stuff,” extremely protective. It was a Wednesday morning, and gee, her earrings looked better with my outfit than any of mine did. I mean, what is a girl to do? It wasn’t my fault - there they were, sitting on her dresser, and as I walked by, they jumped up and demanded that I wear them - NOW! Who was I to resist such temptation? "Ours," I answered, as I generously applied “her” lipstick, which also demanded that I use it, and of course, which looked better with my new earrings and outfit than my lipstick did. Although I was running a bit late for work, I looked carefully at my eye make-up, and of course, something was lacking. Something of Vanessa’s. Looking down at the assorted eye shadows, blatantly strewn on the vanity, a pretty, gold powder jumped up and demanded that I use it. Taking Vanessa’s eye shadow brush, I applied a touch here and there, and stood back to admire my handy-work. "Oh, no! My eyebrows are shaggy and unalluring," I told myself, as I picked up her tweezers and then her reddish-brown eyebrow pencil. Finally, I was satisfied with my work and admired myself in the mirror. As I started to walk away, I realized I hadn’t applied any perfume. Looking at my meager allotment of colognes, I heard a little voice calling me....it was a bottle of Passion, which I gave to Vanessa for Christmas last year. "Use me, use me, puleeessee," the little voice said (bearing an uncanny resemblance to the mating call of Vanessa!). What was I to do? I couldn’t leave the bottle unhappy, so I liberally doused myself with Passion, nearly knocking myself out from the powerful fragrance. One would think I would feel guilty for doing all of this. Are you nuts? I know a good thing when I see it, and believe me, Vanessa is a good thing! Of course, I am deeply in love with her and admitedly after her bod all the time. "I need a rest," she complains (although not very loudly.) "Forget it," I reply, as I once again attempt to ravish her and yet, once again alter her state of virgin purity (in her dreams!). Seriously, though, I’ve discovered the joys of being the partner of a crossdresser. Not only do we have a good marriage and special friendship, I have an unlimited supply of make-up, jewelry, stockings and even lingerie at my disposal. True, we are not the same size, but on occasion, I can wear some lacy underwear, and size has nothing to do with make-up and jewelry. Hair is a different story. My one complaint about her jewelry has been that she had a tendency to buy “cheap” earrings and rings. Since marrying me, however, we have graduated to buying elegant costume jewelry and some real gold items, as well. Just because she is a crossdresser is no reason to go cheap - she deserves the best, in my eyes. Besides, I like the feel of real gold! Another delightful part of being married to a crossdresser is that her generous nature extends to me....when we buy items for her, she always, always suggests that I buy something for me, too. Sometimes, we go to the mall, and as we walk through the aisles of a department store, she picks items of clothing off the racks, demanding that we buy them - and they are for me! Often we buy for me, even when we don’t buy for her. We interject a lot of humor into our relationship, and I think that there really are a lot of benefits to being the partner of a crossdresser. As humans, we often tend to take things too seriously, and humor is often lacking. Also lacking in many relationships is natural generosity. It is either all take or all give, and the partners don’t know how to share with each other. We allow the stresses that are put on us by society, as well as job, family and personal problems, to interfere with the natural humor, generosity and intimacy of a relationship. I have learned that despite the stress, you can still have fun. There are so many ways to enjoy each other, and unfortunately, some couples don’t take advantage of it. No pun intended. Shared laughter is a vital part of our relationship and Vanessa and I laugh a lot. In fact, I often say that Vanessa has brought laughter back into my life. I know I’ve brought laughter into her life - if for no other reason than my extraordinary clumsiness, which is a constant amazement to her. I delight in her natural haughtiness and she always makes me see humor in a situation. Sharing items, sharing intimacy, and sharing humor help build our relationship - it is our way of loving and making life fulfilling. And all that jewelry and make-up helps, too!
Linda Kaye is married to Vanessa Kaye, who also writes for Transgender Forum. They operate the Couples Network and have their own web site you may enjoy.
"Life With Vanessa" Straight talk about integrating transgenderism into a loving, caring and positive relationship. |