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By Julie Freeman
Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine
years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie is a regular colunnist for
the DVG newsletter and has also contributed to the ETVC newsletter, Tapestry and the Femme
Mirror. Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995. Her e-mail address is julie39@ibm.net. She
may also be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or by snail mail to DVG, PO Box
272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885
.
Sharing
Recently I had the opportunity to visit with a long-time college friend whom I had not seen in
quite awhile. She very innocently asked me how I was coping with the "empty nest syndrome" and
almost without thinking I blurted out, "Do you know anything about crossdressing?" and proceeded
to tell her how my life had changed in the last few years. Belatedly I remembered that she was
very conservative, but she reacted very well to my announcement and seemed to have no problems
with it. It made a very interesting and enlightening afternoon! I felt closer to her than ever
although we talked of many other things, particularly our college days.
Then even more recently I was visiting with a neighbor who I thought might have noticed
crossdressers coming and going on occasion. She had no idea and so once again I found myself
spending an interesting and enlightening afternoon! Seems I had no idea what was going on in HER
LIFE either as she proceeded to tell me about people coming and going from her house whom I had
never noticed.
In both situations I discovered that these ladies were supportive and understanding but not
unduly curious. In fact, they asked very few questions. I found myself wanting to talk much
more about crossdressing than they. They were curious but not overly. Crossdressing would not
affect them and as long as I was okay with it, then so were they.
I guess many of us expect some kind of dramatic reaction to our announcement and when the
reaction is subdued we are sort of surprised. I also expected lots of questions and was,
frankly, disappointed to find there were so few.
Perhaps this is because crossdressing is no longer IN THE CLOSET as it once was. There is more
knowledge and information available so it should not be an unexpected reaction that our friends
and relatives are aware of the phenomenon, whether or not they may be supportive.
It is definitely a positive experience to share such a vital part of onežs life with friends as
long as one knows these friends can be trusted to keep this information confidential. This is
not the sort of information to be shared with those who tend to blab without regard to an
individualžs privacy nor with those whom you would be uncomfortable knowing.
(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)
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