Diane Kaye





Read by a Toddler

By Diane Kaye
T
he snow had finally stopped and I was getting antsy.

The local thrift shop was having its big sale of the winter with 50% off everything, and that included ladies clothes. This girl can't resist a sale of this magnitude, so I had decided to go no matter what. After looking out the window at the ice and snow, I decided to wait a few more hours until the roads cleared. Once cleared, I planned to get dressed and head for the sale. As usual, I planned the outfit to fit the occasion. The more I go shopping, the better I get at the perfect casual clothes outfit.

This time, I had decided to wear a red turtle neck, which helps hide the neck and any sign of an Adams apple, Blue jeans over my Classic Curves Veronica II, trouser socks and high top leather shoes. My short gray wig would finish off the ensemble. Small dangle earrings, and a simple necklace and watch for the jewelry. Engagement and wedding band for the finishing touch. After my close shave and I was ready to put on the face.

I've been using Carla Fong's Beard Concealer which I apply with my finger, and it really works well. A coating of powder, and the foundation. I've been having good luck with Perscriptive's new long lasting liquid foundation on the neck with Perscriptive powder. It doesn't rub off even with a turtle neck sweater. The face is my usual Mary Kaye liquid foundation and powder. Finally the lip liner and lipstick in a light pink for a simple daytime look. I've found that with gray hair, light pinks look best. My look is approaching that of somebody's grandmother. While not sexy, you don't get read. With a 53 year old face, the look matches. Well this girl was looking fine. no chance of being read this time out, but then I never do get read(?).

Off to the sale I went. The cars were out in the street by now as it was after lunch. Oh, I hope all the good things are not gone. The store was mobbed. clothes everywhere. I headed for the coats first, as I wanted a short winter coat. I'm looking at the coats along with half a dozen other frantic women, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman standing in the isles in her panties. She was trying on pants right there in the middle of the store. Talk about desparate.

In the corner of the store in plain view, were some teenage girls in bra's trying on formal gowns. I controlled myself, as women don't stare at other women, usually. No luck with the coats, if they looked right, the sleeves were too short. I gave up and started browsing. This girl wasn't going to leave without her bargains. Over to the dress racks. I spied some really elegant gowns, but the sizes were too small. Finally I found a really nice dress for spring time evenings so I grabbed it. After some more looking I found a pair of nice black slacks and a gray/blue blazer. Accessories, a girl never has enough of them, so I picked up a few belts and a white purse for summer. Finally a great long sleeved red button up sweater for fall and early spring outings.

As I was standing in the isles looking for a skirt, a small toddler, no more than 3 years old, remarked "look at the MAN in the red shirt". Hey, that's me! Oops! Well I knew I was looking good, so I chuckled to myself, but also decided it was time to pay and leave. After all I had been it the fury of the sale for over an hour. With that bit, I left and went to the cosmetic store to pick up some Revlon Color Stay cake make up. I've had good success with their liquid variety not rubbing off on the collar. I brought my Mary Kaye bottle for a color match. Mary Kaye offers a better range of colors, but doesn't stay on as well as Revlon's Color Stay. With that done I headed home. It was getting dark and cold, and I had forgotten my mittens.

As I drove home I made some mental notes. First of all, I suspect the toddlers remark was due to the short wig, so mental note: get wig slightly longer. Second note: find mirror for shower so I can shave there and avoid those unsightly nicks we get from the really close shaves. Lastly, what to wear next week end when we go out for dinner...if it doesn't snow.


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