Gianna

Ignorance

By Gianna E. Israel
©1997 Gianna E. Israel


Many people don't understand the meaning of the word "ignorance." As transgender persons often when we encounter someone who treats us poorly or discriminates against us we say that person is ignorant. However, is he or she really so? In many circumstances, no.

As transgender men and women, we often are misunderstood by people who don't actually know us, and even sometimes by those who do. People assume we may be gay. Occasionally others assume we dress and act the way we do as a social or sexual choice, or to gain attention. Many people also assume that gender identity, like sexual orientation, is a preference or "lifestyle." Having never walked in our shoes people make many assumptions about our choices as well as rationale. These assumptions hurt, particularly when people discount our ideas and experiences.

It is easy for others to make assumptions about topics they know little about. We can't however call the majority of these persons "ignorant." These individuals typically are either misinformed or uneducated about gender issues. While these people can sometimes be a pain in the butt, they usually don't deserve that special purgatory reserved for persons who actually are ignorant.

Misinformed and uneducated people basically lack correct information. It is easy, time after time, to want to throw our hands in the air and shout "stupid" when we encounter these people. Particularly those who can't get the pronoun right based on our manner of dress. However, they mean no harm more often than not. Your reaction to these people's mistakes plays a large role in how they will perceive transgender persons in the future.

My suggestion when encountering these people is to treat them with respect. State that you are a transgender person, and advise them how your friends address you. Also, if they have a question or make an unsophisticated comment, briefly address it with an easy-to-understand response. No, I'm not "gay," I'm a transgender woman. Yes, I am planning to have surgery because it will help bring my body in line with my gender identity. People will often ask crossdressers what they get out of it. I suggest stating the truth. Doing so fulfills my inner needs and helps me relax, kind of like a "hobby."

In contrast to misinformed and uneducated people, an ignorant person is one who knows better. They have already been correctly informed about gender issues. However, they may not have cared enough to listen. Or, they may strongly believe that transgender persons are wrong for outwardly expressing their gender identification or crossdressing. They are the type of person who disrespects us because they cannot see beyond their own biases and opinions. Basically, they don't respect us because they don't respect themselves.

Some ignorant people deserve to be ignored. Unfortunately, doing so is not always possible. These people need to be handled, particularly if we interact with such an individual on a regular basis. How you handle them much depends on the situation, although in nearly every circumstance it is wise to avoid allowing the situation to become a question of right or wrong. This is because in their own opinion ignorant people are "always right." Like schoolyard bullies they seek out victims, because they believe their opinion is right and can impress it on others.

I like to handle ignorant people in a variety of ways. Sometimes I will tell them outright that their behavior is hurtful, and if it continues just to leave me alone. Other times if a person cannot be avoided completely, I tell them that they have the right to their opinions, as well do I. I then state that despite differences in opinions we both may benefit if we try to get along. Occasionally, if I am in a playful mood, I just play along with ignorant people. Making quite sure they realize I accept their opinion just about as much as they accept mine.

In most circumstances if an ignorant person continually disrespects me I ignore them as if they do not exist. Being alone is the ignorant person's private purgatory. Nobody likes a bully, and only disreputable people accept an ignorant person's word as truth.

Handling the challenges of being a transgender man or woman is no easy task. Whether it be with ignorant persons or those who believe we have no rights, we must stand up for ourselves. After all, having a transgender identity does not require us to be victims. Sadly, ignorant people are the ones who are actually victims, victim to their own indifference.


Gianna E. Israel provides nationwide telephone consultation, individual and relationship counseling, evaluations and referrals. She is principal author of the Recommended Guidelines for Transgender Care, writes Transgender Tapestry's "Ask Gianna" column; is an AEGIS board member and HBIGDA member.

She can be contacted at (415) 558-8058, at P.O. Box 424447 San Francisco, CA 94142, via e-mail at Gianna@wco.com or visit her Web Site
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