Talking To My ChildBy Sallyanne Ofner Daddy! Lipstick! Earrings! You look like a girl! |
I had spoken with our son about my being transgendered, transsexual, actually, several times previously over the past three weeks, but this time he chose to initiate the conversation with me-while I was on a ladder in my ankle length summer skirt, trying to replace a fallen carriage bolt which holds our garage door opener together and his mother was trying to get her car out to take him to his golf lesson. Kids never cease to amaze their parents, and they keep us young.
It all began when I read Melanie Phillips' My spouse and I had agreed that we would not bring up my being transsexual to our son until his second grade had been completed in order to permit his performing his school work with a minimum of disruption. But, now Summer vacation has been upon us, and it was time. All children are special and different, and ours is no exception. He does well in academics, follows his own mind, sometimes in exploratory acts of rebellion but often toward surprisingly positive, mature ends. He loves athletics, is a natural competitor and thinker in sports, and is a beautiful, wonderful little boy. What would happen to his sense of security when I told him his father was a woman and not a man? I planned this part of my transition very, very thoroughly. There is a common thread of thought among those who have maintained a successful relationship with their children during and after transition.
That night, he began experimenting with names for me other than "Daddy" because "girls are not daddies." He went to sleep calling me "vroom-vroom," and yesterday, tried "grandma." We rejected that, and now he seems happy with Sally. But he will undoubtedly continue his exploration of names and ideas until he is satisfied with the result. So, what else to do now? We are embarking on a short, partly planned vacation with me as Sallyanne to give him time to get used to it. We will play golf, fish and play tennis. Maybe even read some and hear a New Mexico storyteller, too. It should help him, me and my spouse. Now, does anyone remember how to put a worm on a fish hook? Sallyanne Ofner will provide us with occasional reports on her son and their relationship |