With Cindy Martin
Transgender Forum Publisher
© 1996 Transgender Forum
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January 27, 1997
hen the young men behind the counter at the gas station don't notice you it means one of three things:
Naturally, I like to believe the third alternative, 'cept I rarely run into gay men working at the shop 'n rob gas stations I use, even in San Francisco.
I'm not sure how I feel about this situation. On the one hand, I'm glad that I apparently pass, on the other, well dang it, they're supposed to notice a little.
he ETVC Cotillion, which is one of the community's premier events, was incredibly good this year. Bravos to Producer Leslie Bailey and directors Lulu Blau and Trauma Flintstone for the show held on Jan. 25. For 13 years ETVC has been selecting a Miss ETVC at this show, which has had some real stinkers in the past...this was definitely NOT one of those either in result or in presentation.
There was also a major TGForum influence at this year's event: two TGF readers placed in the top three. Sandra Brewer, who has written for TGF and has a photo here (subscribers can see her in our photo op albums) was second runner-up. Dale Carlson, another regular TGF reader, was selected Miss TGF 1997 in a very tight contest. She is an excellent selection. Congratulations Dale and Sandra!
We'll carry a full report, complete with many pictures next week.
ooks do matter, much as we'd like to think they don't.
There have been many studies showing that an "attractive" person is likely to do better in life than an "unattractive" person with the same general background. This is terribly unfair, and terribly shallow, yet we ignore the realities of "lookism" at our peril.
One of the stereotypes of this community is that we spend way too much time on how we look and too often emphasize glamour over internal development. We talk a lot about overdressing in this community, but we hardly ever talk about another appearance stereotype in this community: looking like crap.
I have met far too many people in our community who seem to believe that looking like a "real" woman means having ratty hair, no makeup and hairy legs. Hey, you want to look like a fishwife that's fine with me, but please don't bitch about how hard it is to find a job in management or acceptance in a "transphobic" society.
Not long ago I had the distinct honor of sitting in with a group of women on welfare who were going through a class on successful job hunting. Building the self-esteem of these women, who often have extremely low views of themselves, is being recognized by enlightened reformers as a crucial to their chances of landing a job and keeping it. Obviously if you think of yourself as a loser, that is going to come across to others, including possible employers, and you'll be treated accordingly.
At one point during the class the trainer poses a question about appearance. It goes something like this: "No one is going to force you to look any particular way when you go to an interview. But ask yourself what you would do if you have two people, with about the same qualifications competing for the same office job. One is neatly groomed and interviewed in business clothes . The other comes in wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Who do you think is going to get the job?" The hard truth is that those in our community who make no effort to be attractive, particularly those who do it out of some political belief, are totalled out in the work world. First and foremost we have to fight the terrible prejudice against us for being transgender. Toss a miserable appearance into the mix and you've added an unnecessary complication that can only make life more difficult.
Most of us are not gorgeous or young or small or powerful or whatever it is that you think makes someone attractive. Most of us have no control over whether our features are regular or our skin is poreless. But anyone can look like they respect themselves, and others, by dressing in a neat, clean manner.
Society IS transphobic. It's also body order-phobic, obnoxious-phobic and slob-phobic. Don't make it easy for people to reject us, because honey, they will.
otes to "Brad" in California and "Rusty" in Canada: I have tried repeatedly to answer your messages but your addresses keep coming back as non-existent. Check with your Internet service providers for solutions to the problem with your "Reply" addresses.
oes pop history always repeat itself? Once again it is becoming hip for young male musicians to wear make-up on stage. It isn't quite the early '70s again, but when big name bands like Smashing Pumpkins and Marilyn Manson are loading up with eye mascara something is going on.
Marilyn Manson himself wears a dress in publicity photos along with tons of bizarre makeup. Looks totally transgender to me. The band has angered Christian fundamentalists with anti-religious lyrics in some songs and has been the target of a number of demonstrations. At a recent concert in San Francisco, three bomb threats were phoned in, none of them real, during an appearance at the Warfield Theatre. My daughter, who was there, reports that the band was extremely good. She's usually right in these matters (Tip: "Garbage" had the best record of 1996)...
ubscriber Joan Rowe, who also happens to be a good friend, agreed to do a quick review of the "Holiday Inn TS" commercial that aired during the SuperBowl (that's America's big football game) on Sunday because I wouldn't be near a television. Here is her report:
"I hope you didn't blink when the commercials began 5 minutes into the fourth quarter of SuperBowl XXXI today. If you had, you'd have missed Holiday Inn's new spot featuring a pretty transsexual.
"It's a reunion party for the class of '75, and a striking woman in a leopard skin dress with bare shoulders and low-cut neckline walks in. The camera focuses on her nose, ``$6000'' says the narrator; lips, ``$3000;'' chest, ``$8000.'' The woman encounters a former chum, who says, ``I never forget a face.'' As he struggles to remember her name, he gasps in amazement, ``Bob Johnson?'' And the woman softly utters, ``Hi Tom.'' The narrator explains ``It's amazing the changes you can make for a few thousand dollars. Imagine what Holiday Inn's will look like when we spend a billion. Holiday Inn---On the way.
I knew this commercial was coming. Earlier in the week, the newspapers carried a photo of the model, who passes beautifully, with but a suggestion of XY in the shoulders. The story line was that Holiday Inn might compromise its wholesome reputation, but needed to make an impact nonetheless.
The commercial is tasteful, and I wish Holiday Inn well in their efforts.
Joan Rowe
San Francisco
h convergence...
Yours truly decided a little post-show party for some of the cast and other folks from the ETVC Cotillion (see above item) might be fun this year so I booked a room at, you guessed it, a Holiday Inn. Before checking in I warned the registration desk that some folks would be coming by in the early AM for a small get-together and would she put us in an area of the hotel were we wouldn't disturb others? She put us right next to a loud party full of very young people.
Hotel security came by twice to tell us to pipe down. He told us that he knew it was the kids, not the room full of sequins that was making all the ruckus, but felt in fairness that we should be warned also.
After this nice man left, someone mentioned the commercial and I realized that, hey, they aren't going to throw us out. How would it look if the company that was now using transgenders to promote itself boot out a group of TGs who were doing nothing more than drinking sodas and a little white wine? We were invulnerable!
Actually, we were tired and left, quietly at about 2:30 a.m. Pooped, but proud!
Actually, the Holiday Inn Golden Gate on Van Ness Avenue, which rented me the room, is very very nice to TGs. It was the host site for California Dreamin' in April 1996 and has often been used for events by the local drag community. When in town, patronize them if you can. Be as classy to them as they are to us...
t looks like the transgender community in the Bay Area (that's what we call it here in San Francisco) is going to get a real home of its own. A few weeks ago the sartorially-gifted Mayor Willie Brown gave final approval to a $1.3 million grant to help start work on a
lesbian/gay/bisexual/ transgender community center near the famed Castro neighborhood.
The project would renovate an existing Victorian house and add a structure to be used for everything from meetings to nonprofit offices. Besides the $1.3 million grant, $1.1 million has been pledged by the City's Redevelopment Agency and there is a $220,000 federal grant. Now that is cool.
Community fund-raising efforts are expected to fill in most of the rest of the project's estimated $7 million plus cost. The expected date for opening is late 1999.
The local organized transgender community has been somewhat wary about this project, mostly out of concern that our name is being stamped on it to soothe liberal consciences, but this does seem like the real thing, not just tokenism. The city's powerful gay and lesbian community has made it very plain that we are going to be partners in this facility with them and have held hearings to discuss issues like office space and other uses. Quite frankly, in this day and age, we need a facility like this far more than the G/L/B community does.
I'll keep you posted.
eader Sally Nelson asks that those of you who want to show support for transgender prison inmate Dee Farmer can do so by contacting the local media in Wisconsin where her lawsuit is moving forward.
Farmer was raped in prison and has charged that prison authorities - who knew of her transgender status -had failed to take proper steps to protect her from a sexual assault which was virtually inevitable.
I have very little sympathy or interest in criminals, but everyone has the right to being safe from attacks, including those behind bars.
If you want to voice your opinion Nelson suggests you write to the following:
Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel onwis@onwis.com
Wisconsin State Journal wsjopine@statejournal.madison.com
The Capital Times tctvoice@captimes.madison.com
r. Gordene MacKenzie, author of the book "Transgender Nation"
and a visiting professor at the University of New Mexico, has scheduled
course titled "Transgender Identity, Politics, and Representation" for
the spring 1997 semester.
The course will be offered as an elective in the Women Studies program. Dr. MacKenzie, who once facilitated a support group for transgendered persons in the Albuquerque area, says the course will be the first, or one of the first, college courses specifically covering the subject of transgendered persons.
Dr. MacKenzie is attempting to raise money to hire a California female-to-male transsexual to serve as a teacher's assistant for the class.
Anyone wishing to contribute to the effort to raise funds to pay a teacher's assistant can make a tax-deductible check out to "Women Studies TG Course."
The check would be deposited in a University of New Mexico Foundation account. Checks can be sent to Dr. MacKenzie at the University of New Mexico, 2134 Mesa Vista Hall, Albuquerque, N.M. 87131. Anyone wishing to discuss the course or contributions can reach Dr. MacKenzie by voice mail at (505) 277-3818, or via e-mail at gordene@unm.edu
he Northern Gender Dysphoria Conference will take place on the 5th & 6th April 1997 at Gateshead Civic Centre, Tyneside, England. The conference is being organised by Selina A. Powers.
The conference will include presentations from several professionals who work in fields related to gender dysphoria. To complement these there will be workshops and seminars throughout the weekend and a social event on Saturday evening. Fay Presto the illusionist will entertain.
tems we love:
Women's World Daily reported last month that women's sizes 18 and up are now used by 24 percent of all women, up about 5 points from 1980. So that's why all those Lane Bryant stores have popped up in malls.
The fashion industry has been very slow to react to the demand by larger women for more stylish clothing, you can dream up your own reasons why. But as the Baby Boom ages and gets tubbier, which is a certainty, perhaps they'll get the clue that Kate Moss' anorexic body is not the only one out there.
n early November episode of the NBC show "The Pretender" prominently featured a cross-dresser as positive character who was out in the world exactly as she wanted to be. It was an excellent program.
Some might not have liked the character, a black cab driver, because she definitely did not "pass" and was very flashy. But I loved the character because she was totally comfortable with who she was. It was the substance not the style...which was the whole point.
At one point in the show she was asked the inevitable "why?" She answered: "because this is who I am...I don't know why I just know this is right for me." It was perfect. Oh, and there was this great moment in a shoe store when the hero was finishing up with the clerks. Our gal, who was in the background examining shoes, held up a bright orange pump and asked: "Do you have this in a 13?"
Positive treatment of us in the media is becoming more and more common, which is such a nice change from the days when the only cross-dressers you ever saw in movies or on television were either psychos, criminals or sick jokes. Sometimes all three.
I am convincing that the ONLY reason this change has happened is because we have demanded it, by letting people know that we exist and are worthy human beings. Much of this is because of our activists. They are the ones getting out in public and making it happen, changing minds. Which is why it is so critically important to support them.
Take a few minutes and find out more about what is going on by visiting the Gender Pac Website. Our movement is very different from others. We are trying to make it happen inside the system. If you believe that this is the right way to do it, find out more about GPAC.
ot now ladies.
A simmering argument between GenderPac Ex. Dir. Riki Wilchins and Phyllis Frye of the International Conference for Transgender Law and Employment Policy (ICTLEP) needs to end and fast.
These two are both important leaders in the community, but they have very different styles and politics. Frye is the more conservative of the two, but both can be very loud.
I'm not picking sides here, but I will say this, if the two of you don't stop pointing fingers at each other you'll never get this snit over with. How about doing what my spouse and I have done for years as a way of burying arguments: apologise even if you think you were right. It's amazing how quickly things brighten up after that.
lothing fascinates me (what a shock) and I used to love sewing and making my own clothes. It is a wonderfully relaxing and satisfying thing that has its own lovely set of rituals.
There is the selecting of the pattern and, my favorite, the choosing of the fabric. Then comes the layout and cutting of the pieces, the sewing itself, and the finishing touches. Best of all, if you work at it a little bit, you can get a wardrobe that fits like a glove.
Alas, the duties of getting a weekly magazine out make such pleasures just a memory now, but if I never sew again I'll still always know how a well-made garment should fit and feel. Which brings me to Piedmont.
Piedmont is a store in San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury. This is probably the only street in town where a transgender person can get the razz. But it's not the street razz you get in Philly (hey, you f*king fairy, got a quarter?), which is cruel, but fair or New York (you look like mother f*king sh*t! here's a quarter).
In SF the street critics say stuff like "Nice dress! Got 'ny spare change?" They also aren't usually fuzzed out 45-year-old white winos. They're 22-year-old white girl winos, often with colorfully shorn hair, camped in the middle of some of the busiest sidewalks this side of Chinatown. There are people everywhere, and most of them are pretty sober. Fun street.
Piedmont sits in the middle of all this, half a block east of Ashbury, and it is one of those must-shop places in the city that tourists never know about. Now, Piedmont isn't an advertiser here and they aren't online, so I'm not touting them because I owe them something. I just like it.
This place, which is about as wide as a railway car (I mean the narrow way), has perhaps the most unbelievably complete collection of flashy costume jewelry in the world. You want massive rhinestone necklaces? Hungering for one of those cute sets of sequined teardrop earrings? It's probably there. But the jewelry is just a sideshow compared to the clothing. This is drag queen nirvana. You don't buy "street clothes" at Piedmont, unless your idea of "conservative" is a black catsuit with a mini-skirt. This is where the major queens shop for their sparkles, feathers, gowns, opera gloves and tiaras. And if they don't have it, they can almost certainly make it.
The sales girls are great, totally hip, and not all 25 years old either. In fact the older women are the most fun. My favorite, Cheryl, is a real hoot. See, I cannot usually get to the shop when I'm dressed, so she only knows me in my guy persona. Which is even better because she totally treats me like one of the girls, though I am obviously not. For example, during a recent visit I was trying something on that I really liked and Cheryl told me I needed to show it to another of the women for her opinion. This meant stepping out of the dressing room, into a very crowded shop, with no wig, no makeup, nothing female except this garment.
Of course I complied. No big deal. This is a store where they post pictures of their customers in the dressing room. Ninety percent of them are transgenders. What is really weird is I know most of them one way or another...but that is a different matter.
At any rate, on my last excursion I succumbed to temptation and did what I've always wanted: I had a gown custom made for me. The pure sensuality of a garment that fits perfectly is something that is hard to describe without it sounding like a typical transvestite's wet dream, but this was an experience I had not enjoyed before. I can sew pretty well, but this was another level. I won't describe my early Christmas present, you'll see a photo someday, and I need to hold it back for some events I have to go to.
As I walked to my car a young woman with a pierced lip and black fingerless gloves asked me if I had any spare change. Feeling rather jaunty I said sure, and gave her a buck. She smiled and asked me what I had in the bag. I opened it and let her peek in. Her eyes widened and she said that it looked cool, could she see it all. So there, on the street, I pulled out this incredible gown and put it to my body.
"What do you think?" I said.
"You're going to look great in that, I hope you got a date that night, cuz the guys are going to be all other you," she said. I hadn't told her it was for me.
As I put it back in the bag and started walking, this street guy came up to me. "Nice dress! You're color too. Got 'ny spare change?"