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My Seattle

By Mardi Clark







Going out on the town in a Scintillatingly Entertaining And Terrifically Tranny Loving Environment--otherwise known by it's acronym, SEATTLE, is likely to be nothing short of exhausting...I mean, hey, you'll be lucky to get home before dawn and you won't have any idea how tired you are until you try and get up the next (same?) day! You see, not only does time fly when you're having this much fun, but the nights are nothing if not short. So make every minute count! And remember...this isn't LA or NYC but that only means places are accessible and you can actually drive your own car AND even park it...within 5" heel distance from the front door no less! I do not lie!

Let's get started....at Pioneer Square, the bawdy district famous from the wild times of the Klondike Gold rush in '97! Still home to saloons and dancehalls of every description, now gone are the haunts of Seattle's turn-of-the-century elite (mayor, judges, police chiefs) --the brothels! We're after music and dancing so after dropping the van in a $5.00 lot we go to the Old Timer's Cafe (620 First Av.) and buy the best deal in town, the Combined Cover...For $7 /pp before 9 p.m. or $8/pp after 9, this gets you into about a dozen different clubs all within a six-block area, featuring every taste in live music from zydeco to jazz to alt rock and all between.

Mardi, Kerstin, a friend & Wendy
Ok, Ok, six blocks you say?? In heels?!? Well, ok. Hold on --we'll get to those places in a bit. Variety is the spice (Pioneer Square is 90% het) and here in Pioneer Square is the place to try out your "Transsexual Drag", "mall wear", "passing gear" you know! We're talking jeans, sleeveless T's and sandles..the kind without heels, you know the ones you can actually feel comfy with.

We left the "other" stuff in the van for later. See, there are "Out-Of-Towners" here (!!), the waterfront (read Tourist Central) is only a couple of blocks away. People from places called Puyallup and Tillicum and Sioux Falls and Fargo...small town folk not exactly conversant with stuff like "latex" and "spandex" especially worn as outer garments!! No matter tho' 'cause we are here for the tunes. Some of the places are just converted (barely ) saloons like the Old Timer, usually featuring folk rock and stuff like zydeco and rock-a-billy and with just enough room for the band and maybe a couple or three to dance...; the Central (207 First Av) often with a blues or reggae group; or just around the corner, the Bohemian Cafe (111 Yesler Way) often featuring some instrumental music of various persuasions...then there are the big clubs...Colorbox (113 First Av), an alternative rock venue ; the New Orleans (114 First Av), a roomy jazz place, and the Fenix and Fenix Underground, (315 and 321 Second Av)various pop and rock with sizable dancefloors; and several more....they're all on the nifty little map we got with all the groups listed and stuff when we got our tickets!

Ok, so we've done Pioneer Square...its about 11:30 and now we're get ready for some "different" fun.....head for the van and do the supergirl routine....shake out the ponytails, pull off the jeans (they won't let denim through the door where we're going)...dump the tennies...and wriggle into some real drag....yep, our next stop is right across from our parking lot, the Catwalk Club (Second Av & South Washington St.), dancehall continuously since 1887 or so, and one wild and crazy place which just starts to get going at midnite!! This is the place where you can actually wear the stuff you thought you could NEVER walk out of the house in...and whatever that is, I guarantee it will be surpassed by someone else in this cavernous place---try girls in thongs bottoms and bodypaint...period! It's two-clubs in one and peopled by the denizens of the night! So go nuts!

Since we take our own advice, we glide fabulously down the stairs and totally blow away the doorman--- so he lets us in free..(yes this happens!) The fiver goes back into the purse and we enter where every nite is a costume party set to the latest industrial/gothic/techno sounds played over an outstanding sound system in two venues..one a smaller lounge setting and the other a cavernous space dominated by a multi-level dance floor. Let's take a look around....the crowd is a thorough mix; het, gay, and take-a-guess....S&M aficionados abound....leather, metal, vinyl, latex, black anything is the dresscode here....sterling jewelry and piercings in places you'd never....well, you get the idea. Suffice it to say you'll never get this quality of people watching at the mall! And, of course, WE are the alternative of the alternative don't forget! Love it!

Ok, so even tho' the Catwalk is open 'till three, we have to keep moving, this is a crawl after all! Time to leave Pioneer Square (yep, all this in a six block area!) and drive up the Ave to The Showbox (1426 First Av.) for the "Electrolush" show. This place hops!! The biggest club in town, I think, it is also a two-venue place...one gym-sized multi-level club and dance floor and another smaller multi-level lounge with four bars and lots of tables and booths. Expect a crowd of several hundred, a mix as before..AND expect NOT to pay the $7 cover charge!!

We are wanted people (remember "Tranny Loving"?)

It's "Right this way, Ladies"-- with a smile, as we prance through the front doors and up the stairs towards the coatcheck. The bass beat from the main floor reverberates in our chests as we push through the crowd of adorable guys and girls..the latter attired in the height of club couture in such as white vinyl minidresses and go-go boots to match! Dress to impress! I told you this was gonna be fun! We make a round of the club...checking out and being checked out...one guy asks if we are paid to be there, says he loves the "diversity", a couple of twenty-something girls stop to yell compliments--"Oh, you all look so fabulous!" and a conversation starts about the places to go after hours and what sort of music the DJ is playing (who are often brought over from Europe for guest appearances). Another guy stops to tell us about the experiences he had with "us" in Denmark, another (without his contacts maybe) comments "Gee, you're really tall for a girl!" and goes bug-eyed and slack-jawed when he gets a response, sotto basso, back! Head for the dance floor and its not long before that wig is starting to resemble a wet mop!....time to head out into the cool nite and our next stop, The Vogue (2018 First Av)

The Vogue is a much smaller place, but has its mark in history as the birthplace of grunge and Nirvana...a genre mostly gone now, its been replaced with the Goth scene and house/industrial/techno music with a beat like a heart and less melody than more in most cases. Well, to be fair, that comment goes more for industrial than goth which is quite pleasantly "haunting" I guess you could describe it. It "flows", and to dance to it is different as well, with liquidy, slow movements, quite graceful really, almost dreamlike in quality. But that's mostly on Wednesday and Sunday nites here--- on Saturday its 80's Nu Wave so the dance floor is packed. After a dance and a drink we vote to move on up to the city's "alternative" district, Capitol Hill. As if we haven't been alternative all nite already!!

Dierdre & Diana
By now its about 3:00 a.m.---last call has come and gone but we're a long ways from finished! Driving over I-5 up Pike Street we pull over and park just before we hit Broadway. We're bound for Neighbours (1509 Broadway) the city's largest predominately gay danceclub. This place is open 'till 4 a.m. Friday and Saturdays so we're in luck...tho' since we aren't exactly a novelty in a place where they have three drag nites a week (Tues. through Thurs. nites)---- we have to pony up the $5 cover. This is he place to come for latenite dancing and that's just what we're after.....grab a table and rotate onto the floor--the music's great, the crowd hoppin' and good vibes all around! Here's where we run into a T-chaser or two...you can spot 'em a mile away, these guys--- They circle around like wolves, casting "surreptitious" glances our way, then sidle over and start sounding allot like the guys in the "chat rooms" on AOL or something!! But really, it just means they like how we look and we've always found them absolutely harmless as long as you don't go for a ride with them--unless you're into that of course! Hey, different strokes for different folks, huh?

So the lights go up and dancing is over...'till tonight that is!...But Sunday's in Seattle is another story...Now it's time for BREAKFAST!! And we have just the all-nite diner, The Hurricane (on 7th by the Space Needle), formerly known as the Doghouse, its like Denny's on acid! A cafe right out of the 50's, the service is young and pierced, the tunes are NOT elevator and the food is AOK..the omelets start out at four egg and go to 24!! --- which is free if you can finish it--as if! Try a salad and a cup of scratch-made soup and some coffee for the road home.....It's a great place to deconstruct the night and plan for the next outing....and who knows who will stop by the table and ask to sit down? Maybe a cute twenty-something who just happens to be a bit bored and wants us to lighten up his nite with some sparkling conversation? Or maybe a couple of chatty goth-girls in the next booth who have the latest on the newest of the little clubs which come and go within a month? Who knows? That's the adventure!

Well, tonite was just a sample..there's lots more; The Oz, Kid Mohair's, R-Place, The Easy, restaurants by the dozen, shopping, taverns...geez, who has time to work and sleep anyway? The thing we take for granted is the acceptance we get everywhere in this "S-E-A-T-T-L-E"---- really notice the enthusiasm from a lot of the people and the clubs and other establishments---and a total lack of jerks---something which is a pleasure to get used to. Daytime or nighttime, downtown or on the "hill", Seattle is variety and fun in a basically safe environment. Still, it is a big-city and there is nothing like going out with a friend, for fun and for safety. So---see you out there and be sure and stop by our table and say "hi!", 'k? See ya!