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By Leslee Anthony

Mail Order Ever thought about a mail order gown, lingerie, shoes?? Me too!! But a common fear of wasting money, combined with a natural distrust of long distance shopping often keeps us from using this convenient "store". Shopping at home is the new way to go, right? Nope, Sears, among others have been offering it for years. There are advantages to the catalogs and mail order, not the least of which are, convenience, discretion and usually lower prices, plus variety in a book. There are also disadvantages such as, uncertainty of quality, delayed shipping and return if necessary, and the uncertainty of the fit.

Well, this is all about ordering from the mail order catalog business, and a few tips on what to do and what not to do. At least the plan is to give you some idea as to what to watch out for and how to protect yourself. Personally I have used this source with great success and with a few disappointments. But, now that I know the rules my success rate is quite high. I use catalogs often, several of them in fact.

Obviously the first thing that is standard in all shopping, but especially when ordering by mail, KNOW YOUR SIZE! And not just an approximate size but an exact size and then make sure that you have some idea of how the mail order sizes may vary from what you think they are. And they will vary, as in all stores. You can't take and try it on, what you order is what you get. More on returns later. Every quality catalog , even the not so quality ones, will have a sizing chart somewhere, usually in the front, often with the order form. So, first place your ego on hold, go get a tape measure and get to work. For some of these measurements you may need some understanding help, so get a friend. Otherwise do the best you can.

There are a few key measurements to record. As in write them down, my Dear. And don't cheat or say, well you mis-measured, that you actually are a 32 inch waist when the tape reads 37. Do the following; measure your waist at it's smallest point, just above the hip bone and under the rib cage. DO NOT cheat. Measure in your normal posture, not with your stomach pulled in while holding your breath, unless that is the way you intend to spend your life while dressed. If you customarily wear a waist cincher then put it on and then measure. Did I mention being nude? No? Well do it!! Next, do the hips by measuring about a hand span down from the waist but surely at the widest point of your hips. You will be able to feel your hips at about that spot where, as the song says, the thigh bone connects to the hip bone. Measure the distance from your waist to your hips. Not critical right now but it may be for special orders, so do it now as long as you are so enticingly nude, or with waist cincher. Another tip, make sure the tape measure is just barely snug and not twisted. You can reduce your waist size several inches by pulling on the tape until various body parts overlap and the tape is hard to read hidden under "you".

Next your bust. That is a normal posture measured around the chest right at the nipples. Then do your chest which is right below the "breasts". Don't "puff up" and pretend to have something you don't. This is not a time for fantasizing. As with all other measurements, maintain a normal posture. Take a breath and exhale about half, that will be close to normal and make bras, blouses and dresses fit better. The difference between your bust and chest will be an indicator of your cup size.

All done?? Not quite. Measure your inseam, that distance from your crotch to your ankle, or approximately where you expect the slacks cuffs to fall. The ankle bone is a good place to stop. If you think you will order slacks. You may as well do your thighs while you are at it, and your neck. Then from your waist to your knees. Why? because skirt lengths vary and you need to know if a misses, petite, woman's or tall is your size. I am not especially tall but I have a short torso and quite long legs, so if I don't order tall I end up with the equivalent of Bermuda shorts. A mini-skirt on me, besides making me look like a adolescent Grandmother, looks more like a wide belt than a skirt. You will occasionally see a comment in the catalog, such as, "approx 29" long when describing a skirt. So where does 29" fall on you?? Good question. For me waist to knee is 24" and a 29" skirt is perfect. I like them stylishly long.

Speaking of sizes, I still have trouble with the subtleties of misses versus women's versus whatever else the fashion industry can come up with. And to complicate it more, the sizes keep changing. A few years ago I struggled to get into a Misses 16, got lost in a women's 16W and used a petite as a straight jacket, if I could even button or zip it. Now I find that a 14 is a bit loose whereas a 12 is too tight, I have given up altogether on Women's and merely stare in envy at the petites. And all of this without any significant change in my measurements. (Yes Dear, I did remeasure out of a sense of insecurity.) Basically, petites are for small women (brilliant), Misses are for the masses and women's are for the "full figure". Meaning thick waisted, to put it gently, not to mention buxom, either natural or artificial.

Simply put, you must know your measurements and be prepared for ego shock. Now, about ordering. In the size chart, find the size that most closely matches your measurements. Most catalogs give their sizes as compared to bust, hip and waist measurements. Always check for lengths, arm and leg. Long sleeves should come to the wrist unless you want the 3/4 or 1/2 sleeve. Slacks should cover the ankle, much as a male pant length, but without the break. If you get something you really like but it is a trifle too short, look at the cuffs and see if the garment can be lengthened to fit. Most well made garments can be adjusted, but at what cost?? I have used this technique and it works, but only because I absolutely loved the style and fit of the rest of the garment and was prepared to cover the alteration cost.

And another thing. Whether you buy from a store or mail order, it will not fit exactly. Males have a different physique than a female and no amount of exercise, hormones, or surgery can change that. Basically the male hips are narrower compared to the bust measurement. The male hips are closer to the waist than the female, and the male chest is larger with little, if any, discernible breasts. So, do the best you can, get as close as you can, and maybe rely on pads, whatever, to make up for what your body lacks. Any misfit is probably natures fault and not your measurements or the mail order company.

By the way, I avoid long sleeve garments because the sleeves are always too short for me, but you do your thing. I also am quite careful with leg lengths. Normal jeans do not fit me, I need tall as I also do with hose and virtually anything that goes from waist to foot, or there abouts. Here is where mail order can be a problem, but I have learned which companies have what fits and how to order in my size. Even a local store has a shortage of tall items and especially with sleeves long enough.

All of that applies to dresses, suits, slacks and outer garments in general. The rules change when we go into lingerie. I buy bras that are a little smaller than my measurements call for and with a slightly larger cup. Why?? On account of because I want to be sure that the underwires and fit is tight enough to emphasize my small breasts by pushing as much pectoral muscle flesh as possible up into the bra, and not slip loose as the day, or evening progresses. That is, for me a 36B over a 40 bust and 38 inch chest. Bras have stretch straps so don't worry. I wear panties that are one size too small too, but you do your thing. Unfortunately only trial and error and a few wasted bucks will be necessary to let you know for sure. And even then as you change mail order houses you may experience a slight size difference. Eventually you will have enough experience and a file of sizes to know exactly what to order from whom. I told you write it down and that includes results from any given company.

Bra Sizes Explained

Last month on the bulletin board many of you said your biggest problem in making purchases was bras. Try this, measure your bust and chest, subtract 2 inches to get the size, then consider whether you will go au natural or with pads to select the cup. Let's assume you measure bust 40, chest 39. That one inch translates into an A cup by the chart I am using. But, if you order a 38A bra, you may find, as I did, that the extra push of the smaller size creates nearly a B cup. That is if you have a little extra chest muscle. Now, assuming that a B cup is too small and you are adding breast pads, then go for a C cup. There is no single magic formula, only trial and error until you get the look and shape you want, and I don't care where you shop. One advantage of the mail order is the privacy of the try-on. Once you have a size and fit, stick with that company.

Hose, be they panty or thigh highs, differ too. Be sure to get them as large as you feel will fit, maybe even a trifle larger than you think you need. Most mail order houses give a hosiery size chart too. Hose do stretch so the chances of sagging, loose fitting hose are quite small. Chances of a run in hose too small are quite high.

Generally order shoe sizes 1 or 2 sizes larger than your male size. This is tough since the sizes vary with the last and the manufacturer, as with any shoe store. A visit to a local Payless Shoe Source will easily confirm your worst fear, you have big, wide feet. You may also find out, as I did, that a really high heel calls for a slightly wider size than a lower heel or flat.

So, we have dealt with sizes rather generally. Now what to do with the mail order. Check the return policy. Most do accept returns, but they usually won't on lingerie, hose and such, but probably will on dresses and other outer clothing, fine, you are covered. Keep all copies of your order, receipts and packaging documents. Try the garment immediately and return it promptly if you are not satisfied. Reorder in the required size if appropriate. And, always check your order to be sure it is the size, color and style that you ordered. I might add that you must check the catalog before you order because not all garments come in all sizes. Read the small print and understand the terms, sizes and other minutiae. I once ordered a beautiful skirt and when it came I found out that it was in one size and that size was not mine. I hadn't read the catalog carefully enough. I shouldn't have ordered, but I did and created my own problem on a return. It was exchanged willingly but the delay and nuisance of the return were of my own making.

Speaking of size, one size fits all. Yeah, sure, fits all what?? I ordered a one size fits all leotard but failed to notice that the one size was for 5'2" to 5'10" and up to 170 lbs. I had read "one size...... up to 170lbs....."' I jammed my 6'0" and 165 into it then found the return instructions. My fault again. If all else fails read the instructions, I hadn't. Also be sure it is not one of the no return sales where prices are extra low but you order it you keep it.

Back to the size charts, and to repeat a common theme. Get as close as you can, but don't expect an exact fit, even in a store where you can try on the garment. My guess is that you will find great fits for the waist, bust and length, but feel loose in the hips, even sloppy. Either find a tailor or get pads.

Jewelry can be mail ordered too, and the same sizing applies, know what ring size you wear on which finger, your wrist size and neck. A choker is intended as a close fitting necklace not to be used literally to choke. Don't forget the return policy.

I have had good luck with several mail order companies and I think that is due primarily to experience in ordering and knowing my size. Still, I have had to make returns and have not had a problem. Here is a short list of a few companies that I have found to be quite reliable and trustworthy. For dresses, gowns, casual wear, a bit expensive but very well made, quality and stylish, Lew Magram. Nice variety of sizes and can provide the larger sizes (1-800-Magrams). Lane Bryant (1-800-477-7070) is an inexpensive but quite reliable company too. Not the quality of Magrams but still an excellent value for casual wear including lingerie. National Wholesale (no toll free number) for lingerie, hose and minor accessories. LEL for really tall person. LEL is at 1-800-344-2235. And Merlite for jewelry, and wouldn't you know it, I lost my Merlite catalog. When I find it I will report the address or phone number. Merlite is an inexpensive costume jewelry outlet with lots of cubic zirconia and other artificial stones, but a few genuine gems. Great looking stuff unless one gets really close to examine it or feels less than feminine with anything less than a real gemstone. Chadwicks, Newport News, Paula Young and lots of other offer a variety of products of varying quality and style. Eventually you will find what suits you, but it takes time and patience.

For the most part the mail order companies are safe, if you follow their instructions, know your size and understand the return policy. I have never had a problem and I use the phone-in credit card method. My returns have always been handled easily and efficiently. My best Sunday-go-to-meeting outfits are mail order liberally mixed in with some local store garments. All my lingerie is mail order as are my hose, about half my shoes and my wigs, virtually all of my casual wear including a Lane Bryant bathing suit.

I guarantee that once you order from one company you will eventually be blessed (?) with plenty of catalogs and from places you never expected. I hate camping, as in totally despise being without creature comforts, but I get a catalog from some outdoor camping hunting and fishing place. Yeah, sure, me in my Navy pin strip suit all snuggled down in a sleeping bag fighting ants. But then I also get some really fine ones I never expected. Lew Magram came that way.

PS. I own several thousand ($11,000) dollars worth of pro photo equipment, all bought mail order. The connection between photo gear and female clothing does not exist, but the fact that modern mail order businesses are reliable and convenient is a connection. Sure, you can lose, but you can lose at a local store too. If you are so inclined, try it. It suits some of us, it might or might not suit you.

There are other places but I will save them for later. In the meantime, if you have experiences or anything to add to the style and/or mail order section of TGF, let us know. You can go through Cindy for forwarding to me, Leslee, or direct to seattledoc@aol.com.


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