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By Angela Gardner
Happy October, my little no fat muffins! The
witching season is upon us and I haven't even thought about my Halloween
costume. I guess I'll fall back on the old standby I always use, and
just wear my underwear as outerwear. It does always seem to make a
good impression.
Speaking of good impressions... you might get the
impression that I'm just a glamour kitten if you get your hands on
the new Lola, Inc. catalog that contains my supermodel shots. It's
out and you can take a peek at me and the other girls with the Lola
Corvette if you visit the Lola,
Inc. website. We're such a bunch of
vixens. But, you'll look, you'll decide. Now... the dish.
Thou Dost Protest Too Much?
I used to love that little dough boy of a comic Drew Carey,
till he had to go and get all defensive (and offensive to
crossdressers) on the Late Late Show last month. After his
show featured a Rocky Horror vs Priscilla drag- dance-
off I thought he was a pretty cool dude about men prancing around in
ladies clothes. (Drew didn't do a drag character from either movie,
he just danced in his male underwear, but he was surrounded by men in
exotic attire.) However, it appears tubby has a little bit of a
problem with drag.
He told Tom Snyder that in college he was a nerd and he pledged a
frat so he could improve his social life. Well, the frat boys thought
it would be a gas if the pledge did what we all know to be a standard
plot device for TV fiction... went out on a date as a girl. Drew was
a lot thinner then and I was surprised at how good he looked as a
woman. (Tom had a photo.) Hubba hubba Drewette!
Apparently the date went as planned, without any TV fiction plot
twists (Drewette gets kidnapped from the restaurant by an escaped
convict who takes her to a cabin in the mountains and turns her into
a "real" woman) and became a happy frat rat in male attire for the
remainder of his college career.

Mimi
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Tom asked how Drew enjoyed experiencing the female role and Drew
didn't really say much. Tom went on to add that his assistant,
Kennedy, (who happens to be a male, not the chick from MTV)
was the home coming queen at his high school and really liked it.
Before we could get anymore details Drew blurted out, "What was it,
homosexual high?" For shame dough boy. From now on if I even watch
your show I root for your arch nemesis... Mimi. She looks like
a drag queen anyway.
Could Carey's over reaction be the result of having fond memories
of that magic night long ago? Anything's possible. Intrepid TG Forum
reporters will start checking his trash for discarded jumbo size
pantyhose, and scan his credit report for any charges made to TV
boutiques. If there's any truth to the allegations that Drew actually
enjoyed his college dream date we'll ferret it out and put it here.
Stay tuned.
We Still Got A Way's To Go
Drew was bad enough when he confused gender and sexual preference,
but George Clooney really socked it to us on the Letterman
show. Clooney was a guest on Late Night With David Letterman
last month and told a story about his appearance on the syndicated
comedy show, Mad TV. Well he made this TV mad when he
told how the skit he appeared in called for him to be in drag. His
daughter had come along for the taping and Dave asked how she took to
her dad in drag. Clooney said she was a little taken aback at first
but got used to it. Dave said, "Well, it's nothing she hasn't seen
around the house." That Dave, what a kidder. Clooney's daughter was
more excited that one of the other guests on the show was L.L.
Cool J. So excited, in fact, that she wanted to be introduced to
L.L. when they all collided in the hall.
This is where Clooney loses his star status for me. Maybe he was
being defensive after Dave's joke about doing it around the house but
he said he was "humiliated" by having to meet L.L. Cool J while
wearing a dress. Georgie, Georgie, Georgie. Where's the humiliation
in that my boy? Even setting aside the fact that there's nothing
wrong with a man wearing a dress, (well, he should try to look good,
if possible) and he shouldn't be embarrassed to meet anyone while in
drag for any purpose; he's a professional actor who was dressed in a
costume for a skit. What's up with the humiliation crap George? Even
though RuPaul has a television show and appears on Regis
& Kathy Lee, guys like Clooney, with their macho attitude
that wearing a dress is somehow embarrassing are still out there to
give us trouble. Well, George, all I gotta say is, I saw
Batman. Michael Keaton was Batman. You ain't no Batman. So
there.
Another Set Back
For every jerk on the macho side that sets back the cause of drag
there's always a few bozos on the drag side that make us all look
bad. One of them has caused trouble recently for an actor who was not
only not afraid to wear a dress but looks pretty good in one,
Johnny Depp. It seems that for the past two years some poor
demented crossdresser has claimed to be Johnny's wife and has been
stalking him. Johnny Depp is being stalked - by a transvestite! Yes,
"Ed Wood" himself is the target of an obsessed crossdressing fan.
The stalking has been a feature of Depp's life for a while but it
recently got more crazy when his CD wife called his club, The Viper
Room, (I have a club - the Boom Boom Room! Gimme a Papst and a shot)
and said she was Johnny's wife and was on her way over to meet hubby
for a cold one. She was met by extra security and arrested.
No word on what tipped them off but it could have been her voice.
That's what always gives us away. Also no word on what she wore. I
wish the straight press would get with it and start giving us the
details we really need. What kind of outfit? Skirt and top? Dress?
Gimme something I can work with. Anyhow, it's about time Johnny got
rid of her. After all, I'm the CD who bore his children. Timmy, put
down that Angora sweater right now. Oh, they are such a handful. A
"scissorhand" full. Ouch!
What's So Strange About That?
There's more and more news about crossdressing appearing in more
and more mainstream publications. A few years back, when I was just a
lonely girl in a closet, it was pretty hard to find news stories
about guys in dresses. Oh sure, there were always criminal
transvestites who did drag while they robbed people, but they
certainly didn't give us any positive role models. Then there were
always a few transsexuals who made headlines when they went for SRS,
but that was about the extent of it. Now I see so many things about
crossdressing that I don't even bother to make a note of them. The
September 26th issue of a local Delaware entertainment paper called
Brandywine Valley Weekly featured former Miss Gay America
Lauren Taylor on its cover and had a big article about the
1998 contest. Now-a-days drag is front page news... and it's being
presented in a positive light.
Another example... just last night one of the male characters on
the new Kirstie Alley show, Veronica's Closet, (it's
about a women's underwear company) started a conversation about
undies with a woman in an elevator and said, "This underwire is
diggin' into my skin!" Just another example of casual inclusion of
crossdressing. As noted ladies underwear fancier Marv Albert would
say, "Yes!"
The Red Dress
Run.
All sorts of other stuff comes up with crossdressing overtones...
if not outright sequins and feathers. Stacy-Lynn Carlton sent me a
story from the Wall Street Journal about a group for British
expatriates (of course, Brits love their frocks) called the Hash
House Harriers. They've been a group since the 1930s and have
chapters all over the world. Every year their Washington, D.C. group
holds an event called
On September 27th 470 men in red outfits - from long sleeved
shifts to red bustiers and lace bodysuits - ran five miles through
our nation's capital. The British menace D.C. way back in the
Revolution but not quite like this.
Apparently the group has a variety of different runs they do at
various times over the year. One of them is a run in which the
participants all dress like Dalmatians. They sound like a bunch of
fun guys to me. I wish I was British so I could sign up. Of course I
wouldn't do any actual running. I'd just wear the red dress trot to
the first turn and then take a cab to the finish. I would do it that
way cause the article closed with with a paragraph about how the
runners retire to a bar after the race where they remove their torn
and sweaty dresses. There's only one way I want to get my dress torn
and sweaty and it ain't running.
One of the Harriers was asked why they do it. He responded, "We're
just everyday professional people who want to get out, put on a red
dress and run. Then everything's back to normal Monday morning."
Right, Monday is blue dress day at my office.
Gimmie That Old Time Religion
Jessica Brandon gave me an article about another odd
juxtaposition: drag and gospel music. You heard right sisters. There
is a drag gospel group called One Voice. The article appeared in the
Philadelphia Daily News, the paper that has the reputation of
being the blue collar news source in Philly. You can read
the
article yourself at their website but unfortunately they don't
have the photo of the girls. In the print version it tops the article
and they are identified by their male names. It was probably a good
idea cause they all look so good enfemme most folks wouldn't have
gotten the idea if they were called Amber Nicole, Ivory or Dominique.
They are female impersonators from Baltimore and they sing
contemporary style gospel in gay churches, at Pride festivals and
wherever they can spread the word that Jesus loves drag queens, too.
Now how many drag gospel groups have you heard about in the past? Not
many. Just another sign that things are moving in the right
direction. Praise the Lord and pass the mascara.
Last Words
Get your costumes together kids and remember, be sure to do drag
responsibly. No bright blue eye shadow and remember to coordinate. If
you miss the big Halloween parties, like Henri David's Halloween
Ball in Philadelphia at the Wyndham Franklin hotel you can
attend the Diabolique Fetish Masquerade Ball in November. The
event is a benefit for Action AIDS. Check out their
website for details.
Remember, I can always use input from my loyal readers. No matter
how hard I try I can't read every newspaper and magazine or watch
every television show. If you see something people should know about
send it along to The Diva. See you
next month honey bunches of oats.
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