It started when I was a college student and found out that I was really turned on
by the feel of slips and panties especially when I was wearing them. I had been sneaking on
lingerie belonging to my mother and sister when I was home on holidays but I really needed
to have my own set. I spent hours at a time studying the catalogues with their models clad
in beautiful slips, panties, bras and nighties; but it took me a long time before I got up
the nerve to phone the catalogue office to place an order. Then when I went to pick up my
order it took me for ever before I had the nerve to approach the counter - I felt everyone
would know what I was buying and why I would want it. That my purchase went without notice
didn't ease my anxiety about future purchases. In those days I never felt easy about
buying women's clothes and it was only with great anxiety that I acquired a suitcase full
of lingerie which I could delve into when the mood struck.
However when I married my special suitcase was not part of our wedding luggage.
My first slips became the objects of my first of several 'purges'. Anyway I didn't need
them; my wife wore very sexy underwear which I could 'borrow' if the mood were strong enough
and sometimes she even seemed turned on if I were to "kiddingly' wear one of her nighties to
bed. But I never got up the nerve to try a full transformation with her. When she left me
she left behind our two children and a fair bit of her clothing.
I loved the children and I raised both of them but I never gave up wanting to wear
their mother's clothes. My interest had now expanded to skirts and dresses- the shorter the
better. I was also now buying my own but still very furtively and afraid that someone would
recognize me and/or know that the purchase wasn't a gift. I didn't want anyone, even total
strangers, to think I was one of those 'pervert transvestites'. Most of my shopping
excursions were to discount stores where I could buy dresses on sale.
I certainly couldn't try on any of my purchases in the store and with my occasional habit of
purging my wardrobe I didn't want to invest in any big ticket items. It was during that
era that I got my first wig and started to do full transformations. My makeup was horrible
but I sometimes would venture out of my house at night or more likely leave my hotel room
for a stroll down the hall to the ice machine. I was petrified of being seen and read by
anybody.
Then one time I was in England where I came across a store specializing in services
for transvestites. I learned that there were many heterosexual TV's and many of them
enjoyed going out dressed. I reasoned 'if them, why not me?' and I bought more appropriate
makeup and a good wig and joined a TV support group at one of their weekly meetings.
Emboldened by my new friends' accounts and still in London I tried shopping for a
dress without any pretext that it was for anyone but me. When the clerk asked what size my
wife wore I nervously said, "it's for me and I think I'm a 14."
"Would you like to try it on?" she asked. "Yes" and I did . After all those years
of thinking that I would be run out of a store if anyone knew I was buying feminine
clothing for myself, the first time I come out the lady actually encourages me to try before
I buy. I was so happy I bought three outfits at that shop.
From that experience I developed several rules to follow when shopping as a male.
1) Only try things on if the store is a small one and there aren't other customers who
could be offended.
2) Ask before using the try-on rooms. I've only been refused once.
3) Don't try on things that obviously don't fit. Sometimes you can squeeze into an outfit
but it will be impossible to get off.
4) Be more careful with the clothes you try on than
the ladies are, You don't want to wear out your welcome.
5) Don't try it on if its going to
make you so hot you'll want to masturbate. That could get you in legal trouble.
6) Be friendly!
I once was shopping in Pensacola. It was early on a weekday morning , the Mall and
stores were virtually empty. I visited a store that carried a lot of evening wear. I
picked out a few dresses and asked the young salesgirl if I could try them on. She was
surprised but she said yes and lead me to a dressing room. After my try-ons, she indicated
she wanted to talk to me. She said her boyfriend had given her some indications that he was
turned on by wearing lingerie. Did it mean that he was gay? Would he want a sex change?
We had a long talk and I ended up giving her my phone number if she wanted
to talk more or if her boyfriend had some questions they could call me. But they never did.
Lately, I've done little dress shopping as a male. I have now reached the point
where I feel very comfortable going out en femme both nighttime and daytime. I'm tall so I
do get noticed and often I feel I get read but I never seem to get hassled and sales
clerks often seem to love to serve me. Their experience is probably that men in drag are
serious shoppers and frequent buyers.
Some tips from experience for shopping en femme:
1) Be careful with your foundation make-up. You'll be out in unforgiving daylight or in the
bright lights of a store. On the other hand you won't want to smear your makeup all over your
try-ons
2) Dress down. Few women put on the Ritz to go to the mall and
you should want to fit in with them.
3) Avoid eye contact with other customers. It attracts
unwanted attention.
4) Watch out for group dressing rooms. You could get into big trouble
if another customer reads you and takes your presence the wrong way.
5) Wear low shoes!
6) Don't wear a sweater or blouse that you have to pull over your head. That's very hard
on your wig and make-up.
I've come a long way and I love the feeling and excitement I get from being out in
public as a woman. It's hard to imagine that I used to be so afraid to even look at
women's clothes in a store for fear of being seen doing something perverted. Now I spend
more and more time and money living and shopping as a woman. I love it!