
By Angela Gardner
This column is dedicated to the memory of my best friend,
Jayne Marklin. Jayne passed away on November 22nd after a long
struggle with cancer. She was the woman who made me the woman I am
today, through her fashion advice, makeup help, and
feet-firmly-planted-on the-floor attitude. ("Sure, Angela is sooo
beautiful.") I'll always miss her. God bless you Jayne.
Please support the
American Cancer
Society or other cancer related organization.
Baby It's Cold Outside
The weather outside is frightful! It's so cold even I have
been tempted to give up dresses for the season. Actually, pants under
a dress might be warm enough. Nah. Nothing's warm enough
except the Caribbean. But, since I'm stuck with it, might as well
make the most of what Winter has to offer. Which means-- staying
inside and watching television.
We seem to be very popular again with the folks who make
television shows. Everywhere you look it's another guy in a dress. Is
it Sweeps Week already? Lady Chablis was on Entertainment
Tonight, Drew Carey's TV brother is a TV, Allie
McBeal advocated for a TG hooker, drag queens from across the
land had their own special on HBO last week, and it was a RuPaul
Christmas on November 29th. Is that all there is? No way Josie.
New Year's Day is gonna be RuYear's Day, with twenty four
hours of the RuPaul Show on VH1. It's all too much. I can't
take another sequin. Twenty years ago all we had on television was
Geraldine (who's back on cable, I might add) and an occasional
foray into fashion from Uncle Miltie. Now, every time you
change the channel there's a fella in a frock. So, if you haven't yet
ventured outside your home in a dress, take a look at the world and
notice how much more we are accepted. All people need is a place to
classify you and they won't be amazed when you show up in a
restaurant or at the mall. Let's get out there and show them we got
class. Then we can turn acceptance into respect.
Point & Click
Jane Fleming, loyal TGForum reader, sent us a note about a
Lady Chablis site. It's been put up by Miss Chablis'
publisher, Simon & Schuster to promote her book, Hiding My
Candy.
Click
here to visit the site and learn all you ever wanted to know
about The Lady. It's also a good place to learn about drag speak. Too
many whitebread crossdressers just don't get it when a queen talks to
them in drag language. This leads to horrible misunderstandings, and
possible physical violence. So girlfriend, if ya want the 411, the
doll has got it all in the Drag Lexicon. Soon you'll be hidin' your
candy in some juke joint, and never wear those old Li'l Debbie
Snackin' Cake Pumps again. You go girl! Listen to your drag sister,
honey.
Ho Ho Ho, Merry Mascara
Miss Charles has got her own Christmas album. It's called Ho Ho
Ho and it's been in the stores since October. It's about time we
had the right music for a drag queen Christmas. Read the press
release from
Rhino
Records for more info on content.
Ru had a her own holiday special on VH1 back in November,
featuring Sandra Bernhard, Suzanne Somers and En
Vogue. The girls had a wild time rockin' and boppin' under the
Christmas tree. All that moving around has been good for Ru. She was
looking a little bit chunky (almost Lady Bunny territory) at
210 pounds. She got a handle on it with a special diet; no salt, no
sugar, no flour and at least an hour of exercise at the gym every day
(amazing, that's how I lost a couple of sizes. Of course I didn''t
bother to get all sweaty with exercise) Miss Thang is now svelte and
lovely in the 160s. It's a good thing she got that taken care of--
JoAnn Roberts and I have been talking about Ru's weight. And you know
how we girls can dish about a thing like that.
Look for the old Ru Chunky on the 24 hours of RuPaul, RuYear's Day
on VH1, and watch the new Ru Lite next year. Will Miss Charles
emulate her favorite Christmas song, and be All Alone on
Christmas? Not so my little elves, she and her beau are going out
of town for the holidays. You'll find them cavorting on the beach in
Hawaii. Nice work if you can get it.
Carey Cares
I reamed the Drewmeister for his remarks on the Late, Late
Show and the boy's come around. As a direct result of Diva
intervention Mr.Carey has tried to do the right thing for
crossdressers. Yeah, sure. Actually it was probably in the can many
moons before Drew mis-spoke on Snyder .
We all know by now that his show from November 19th featured a
crossdressing brother who needed a job. Drew, in his Personnel
Director capacity, hires him to work in the store's Cosmetics
Department. Of course Drew doesn't know about his brother's
proclivities, and of course the brother shows up for his first day on
the job in a lovely frock from Lane Bryant. Without these elements we
would have no conflict... and no plot.
The show attempted to be open minded and positive. Drew is at
first upset, but comes to the defense of his brother when the boss (a
man who was seen in a previous episode in Priscilla...
drag) orders him fired due to the conservative nature of the
clientle.
Now, gay activists are up in arms about the mistake the show made.
When Drew asks his brother if he's gay and the brother says he isn't
Drew says it's too bad cause if he was gay he'd be protected by
Federal law. Wrong, Drew-o-matic. The Employment Non Discrimination
Act did not pass Congress last year, so gay people do not have
protection under the law. And, oh yeah, the "straight" gays who
supported ENDA did not want transgendered people included in the
legislation. Now there's something for us to get up in
arms about. No ENDA without TG inclusion.
I got email from the TG community complaining that the
crossdresser character trivialized crossdressing. One of Drew's
friends asks the brother why he likes to dress and he tells him that
basically everything is better in panties. The complainer felt that
telling it that way made it too erotic. Well, news flash,
crossdressing is erotic. It's this country's
attitude toward any kind of sex that needs to change. It may be
erotic, but it ain't dirty.
So, thanks to Drew for doing the right thing and featuring a
crossdresser in positive light, but tell 'em to get the facts right.
Send emails of support to ABC
and let them know that not only are gays not covered by a Federal
law, we're not either.
Another Attempt At Compassion
David E. Kelley Productions has brought us other TG characters in
the past. Back in 1996 Kelley was responsible for Picket
Fences. Remember the plot involving the crossdresser that Max met
on the Internet? Now Kelley's producing Allie McBeal ,
an attorney show with a gimmick. Allie used to have brief attacks of
imagination, that would be seen on screen, so the viewer could tell
how she really felt about what had just happened to her, i.e., a man
she is very attracted to casually mentions that he's married and
while Allie keeps a straight face and says "That's nice," we see a
quick shot of a giant arrow flying into her chest. The gimmicky stuff
must not have worked too well. After several letters from viewers
without a clue (How's come you shot that nice girl with an arrow, and
then she was alive again, anyhow?) they've shifted to a more normal
presentation. (Remember how well Steven Bochco's singing courtroom
drama worked?)
In the December first episode Allie defends a pretty young
prostitute named Stephanie. (Played by gay actor Wilson Cruz.)The
gimmick in this show was the prostitute's TG nature. One of the
show's regulars informs Allie that, "Stephanie's a he."
Allie goes for an insanity defense. Stephanie doesn't want to go
along with it, but Allie keeps telling her if she wants to avoid jail
it's the only way. Then, when they get to court the judge decides to
suspend the case for a year, and if the hooker keeps her nose clean
she'll dismiss. It depends on the TG girl getting a regular job.
Allie to the rescue. She gets her hired at the law firm.
Stephanie gets to come to work crossdressed, everyone calls her
Stephanie, and she designs a dress for Allie out of gratitude.
Everyone goes out to a nightclub and the girls all dance together.
It's all great fun. Till Allie gets a call and rushes out one night
to find Stephanie dead on the street after a john kills her.
Allie cradles the dead girl in her arms and soils her designer
jacket hugging her body. The show ends with a scene in which Allie
puts makeup on Stephanie's corpse at the morgue.
All the compassion and empathy is really swell, but... some of the
things that are said and implied are not so nice. Allie says that
Stephanie is very confused. She didn't seem confused to me. We are
told that Stephanie has moved to the big city from Ohio and she is
all alone. Where are the transgender support groups? The
gay/bi/lesbian/TG community centers? It seems Stephanie exists in a
vacuum where she hooks, then hangs out in her apartment and designs
dresses. If you had to hook for a living, and where offered a chance
to avoid jail, and given a job wouldn't you stay off the street?
We're not given any compelling reason why she would go back, we're
just presented with her going back and being killed.
All in all the episode was a little too much bleeding heart
liberal, and too little real attempt at understanding. Viewers could
too easily say, "Well, she went back out there cause she was
confused, perverted, and had to have sex with men." Nah David, it
don't play well out here where we live.
If you saw the episode or just read about it here and want to
comment, direct correspondence to Brett King, Program Director,
Fox Broadcasting
Company, P.O. Box 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90213, fax 310-369-1433;
or email them. If you're
really hot about it copy your response to the show's producers (Ren
Mar Studios) and Fox's parent company (News America). Contact: "Ally
McBeal," Ren Mar Studios, 846 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Bldg. A, 2nd Floor,
Hollywood, CA 90038, Rupert Murdoch, Chair, News America Pub. Inc.,
1211 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10030, tel. 212-852-7000.
A Bird By Any Other...
A couple of years ago I mentioned TS singer Dana
International in this column. She's the Israeli lady whose
music has been approved for consumption by Orthodox Jews because she
is, in the eyes of the rabbis, still a man. The irony is Orthodox
Jews are not allowed to listen to women sing, but since Dana is not a
woman to them they can buy all of her CDs that they crave. What a
planet.
Now new
controversy swirls around Ms. International since she was chosen to
represent Israel in the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest. Selection
Committee Chair Gil Samsonov said that Dana's song, titled
Diva , (strictly coincidental but a great
song title) was, "far and away the best" of the entries from
Israel.
Of course, there are conservative elements, like Deputy Health
Minister Rabbi Shlomo Ben-Izri, who think that Dana is an
"abomination" in the eyes of the Lord, and that SRS is "worse than an
act of sodomy." Hey Shlomo, after you have SRS you don't need to
engage in sodomy. Unless ya like it, that is. Lighten up, baby.
Dana has been in show biz for seven years. As you can see for
yourself, she's a knockout. She was born Yaron Cohen in Tel Aviv and
underwent gender reassignment in 1993. She sings in Arabic as well as
in Hebrew, French and English. Her management claims she's sold a
half-million albums in Cairo alone. Of course, when her male fans can
say, "But Rabbi, it's not a woman, it's Dana," no wonder she's
selling like hot cakes. Ms. International told the Jerusalem
Post that, "People in Israel don't know what drag is, they
don't know how to appreciate it -- it is a very primitive country
sometimes."
Good luck Dana. After she wins the contest we'll tell you about it
here.
Stuff At The End Of The Column
Look out jet setters! Just when you thought it was safe to head
back to Merry Olde London town Dame Edna returns.
April sees the return of comedian Barry Humphries to
hose and heels as Dame Edna Everage in a new show in the West End
called Edna: The Spectacle. Barry has probably been
itching to get back into drag. He just did a year as Fagin in the UK
production of Oliver. Can ya blame him if he needs a little
glamma? Of course not, kittens.
Edna: The Spectacle no doubt makes good use of the
fact that Dame Edna is known for her spectacular specs. I have
visions of production numbers featuring giant glasses. Elton
John will have to attend and I'm sure a good time
will be had by all. If I can get a good fare over the Internet maybe
I'll fly in for the show. It occurs to me that Dame Edna has been
know to sing her heart out from time to time. If she has any original
numbers lying around perhaps she should enter the Eurovision contest
and go up against Dana International? That way no matter who wins
we're happy.
Is it true? Yes, Shaquille O'Neal and Dolly Parton have one thing
in common-- they've both had breast reduction surgery. I guess it's
tough slam dunk when your boobs get in the way. That's what Dolly
said, I don't know why Shaq had his reduced. I did hear that Dennis
Rodman wanted to know if he could use the leftovers. But seriously
folks, ya don't want to have to wear a sports bra to work do you? OK,
I forgot my audience. Maybe you do.
And so my audience, another Diva of Dish winds down to a close.
See ya next month in cyberspace my little space monkeys.
Got any hot dish? She can't be everywhere and read everything.
Help her out. Let the Diva know what's
hot and happenin'.
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