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Part 3: Unfulfilled Promise
By Sheri Gwen Evans
Subscribers can read Part One and Part Two in this series
Editors note: Transgender Forum does NOT endorse laser electrolysis. Nor does it vouch for the business described in this story. As Ms. Evans states, this is a very new form of hair removal and laser hair removal remains highly controversial.
Well gals, it's been several months since my second, and last, treatment with EpiLaser and I would like to tell you all that it was the most miraculous and wonderful thing that has happened in my entire transition... But I can't -- it wasn't. I believe the jury is now in and the verdict is not good.
As I wrote, in the last article, I was so encouraged by the results of that second treatment that I began living as a woman full-time. At that point, I was still having to shave every morning. It was not as abrasive an ordeal as it was before the treatments. The hairs were finer and there were not as many of them. My skin was softer after shaving and make-up just seemed to go on better. People even commented on how much more feminine they thought I looked as opposed to before the treatments.
I went about my "morphing" routine every morning as I used to only do once or twice a week before and everything went very well. Two weeks into full time, I gathered all my guy clothes together and stuck them all in several garbage bags (how appropriate) to take to the Goodwill. Adios, boy clothes! Ahhh, blessed closet space! I began scouring thrift stores and cheap places for more women's clothes as I was in great need of much more now. I tried to focus on real basic things that I could wear every day and to work, a very casual workshop kind of place. I went ahead and proceeded to change over my checking accounts, utilities and such over to my new name. And I got my doctor to fill out my Form DL328 and took it to the DMV to get my name and sex changed on my drivers license. I was rolling right along. The birds were chirping, the angels were singing and everyday was a bright and sunny paradise.
About two months into full-time, I realized that the shaving wasn't going quite as smoothly as it had been to begin with. I was having to spend more time at it and I was ending up with rougher skin. The decline had been so gradual that I hadn't even noticed. But now, I wasn't ending up with quite the fabulous feminine looking results that I was earlier. Come to think of it, I was even getting read more now. After about a week of agonizing over the ramifications, I decided to call my "Mistress of Sting" and make an appointment to get back into electrolysis. (Something told me that I should wait on getting any more EpiLaser). Great. I was going to have to let the $#@*#! grow for a couple days to have something for her to remove. I was devastated. I was going to have to "pull back". An idea that totally depressed me for days. But I couldn't let it crush me. I gathered up my strength and decided to deal with it. So I'd have to do boy-mode a couple times a week? Big deal! So I'd have to wear some .... Oh, that's JUST GREAT!!! Well, I'll be good and gosh darned if I'm going to spend a penny of perfectly good money on MEN'S clothes again!
So I stopped shaving for 2 days before my appointment. I hadn't done that in over 2 months. I decided to adopt an androgynous appearance. There was just no way I could bring myself to put on any make-up with a 5 o'clock shadow. But I wasn't going to try to look like a guy either... so "it mode" was born! Fortunately, I hadn't bought a lot of dresses and skirts. Jeans, knit tops and sweaters seemed to be my mainstay. So be it! I did my hair the same way as I always did for girl mode, wore small stud earrings, carried a purse, left my nails polished, and let my A-cup breasts do whatever they wanted to do. I was a sight all right. But #@*%! 'em if they can't take a joke. After the two days I took stock of the beard I hadn't seen for so long. And there it was... Just as I remembered it. It had ALL come back. The greatest boon to the life of THIS transgendered individual EpiLaser WAS NOT! I was so upset that when I went to see my electrologists that night, I told her to "Just NAIL the upper lip...! Just CLEAR the whole dang thing!!!" It took 2 1/2 hours and disappointment was my Novocain, but at least I walked out of there with some real results I could see and feel.
About a week later, I got a call from Dale, the EpiLaserist that worked on me. She was just calling to check up on how I did. I told her bluntly. She replied, "Oh my goodness, I can't understand that. Did we miss any spots?". There was a certain little tone in her voice that I interpreted to mean "...(Oh, not another one)...". I wanted to say, "Not unless the spot we missed was my entire face", but I didn't. I also have a GG friend that went to her for removing underarm hair and I talked with her last week. She also saw virtually total re-growth and she'd had two treatments with her also.
I can not say this for certain, but it may have been the way the treatments were done. I have no way of knowing if I had received EpiLaser treatments elsewhere whether my results would have been any different or not. I would have to put my money down on the EpiLaser itself being at fault. But then, I've been losing a lot of bets lately. I have gotten a few e-mail responses from others that read my articles and also had EpiLaser. They seemed to parallel my experiences to that point but I have not heard from any others since then. I don't want to just condemn the entire process, so if any others have had results from EpiLaser, good or bad, I would be very interested to learn about them and use these results in a future article. Please e-me!
Also of note, from what people were telling me, the amount I was paying ($135 per 15 minutes) was an incredible bargain. Almost everyone was reporting that they were paying several times that. Perhaps you get what you pay for? I don't know why the place I went to was so cheap. Maybe they didn't want to go too far out on a limb. I didn't pay all that much and I'm sure I couldn't get my money back. But, if I had paid several thousand dollars, it would be worth making some kind of case over it.
Some friends are intrigued by another laser-like process called EpiLite. It is supposedly a different kind of treatment with a different kind of light (It also sounds different from the process that Rachael from Hong Kong spoke of having in her last article). The information at the clinic that they are thinking of going to sounds very encouraging and they even openly welcome transgendered clients in their literature. They also claim that the process is guaranteed. It all sounds a tad too familiar. I am definitely not marching into another clinic with a fistful of $100 bills to throw at someone anytime soon. (This procedure would require 27 of them). I will be watching how it goes for my friends, though.
So on goes being full-time. It will be 4 months by the time you read this. I have come to see the way I am living as qualifying for RLT. I certainly am no longer living as a man. I consider that I am living full-time as a woman, it's just that some days I just don't look all that much like one. (At least this is the way I'm going tell it to the shrinks for my SRS letters). I am trying to look at this episode with EpiLaser not as a step backward but as a step sideways. Things really are still proceeding ahead for me and my transition. A couple birds are still chirping, there's an angel doing a solo, and the forecast is for mostly sunny skies. I can settle for that for the time being.
E-Mail Sheri with your comments or questions.
Transgender Forum maintains a large library of articles on Electrolysis and new hair removal techniques, including Laser. Subscribers can find it in the "Body & Soul" section of the library.
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