Pam Bohmfalk & Erin S: Finding ThemselvesEdited by Cynthia SmithIt's easy! Submit your copy by e-mailing it to Cindy Martin here at TGF. Copy is edited by Cynthia Smith who will work with you on polishing up your article. Hope to hear from YOU! Pam's Story:Most of the "first times" I've read seem to come either out of the blue, or with a catalyst, namely someone else. Mine came to me from dreams.I suppose I was 5 or 6 years old, but I remember waking from a dream where I had been out playing in a dress. I sat down in the dream in a vacant lot, because I had to relieve myself. And I realized I was going to the bathroom like a girl. I won't say I was turned on, or anything like that. I was only six years old! But the dream interested me, just the same. It was not long after I had forgotten about the dream, when we took an extended vacation to England to visit my mother's family. I had another dream where I was in a local kiddie parade, dressed as a pioneer girl. This dream stuck with me. When we returned to the States, I was playing house with the girl who lived next door, when I convinced her to play the Daddy, and I would be the Mommy. We played this game on an irregular basis, until she decided it was wrong. I suspect she just tired of playing the Daddy all the time. But it was too late. I was hooked and had discovered the joys of cotton panties and lace slips. I dipped into the laundry hamper for my mother's clothing, into the dressers for my little sisters clothing, and in the attic for my cousins' hand-me-downs the girls hadn't grown into yet. As I got older, I got bolder. When the neighbors went away on vacation, I would 'lift' the key and sneak into their house to try on everything I could find. When I was 15, my family went on a weekend trip, while I stayed behind to keep my summer job. When I wasn't at work, I was in Mom's closet. Late at night, after the neighbors were in bed, I'd walk around the backyard, then sit on the front porch, and finally, with my nerves up, walked around the block. I must have been quite a sight. Clothes that didn't quite fit or match, badly applied makeup, short hair. I consider myself very lucky no-one caught me. And from there, I got to where I am today: A long journey, that I hope isn't near the end. Erin's StoryI have been on and off hormones for 10 years, with great changes to the body and spirit. But my problem was, I believed everyone was staring at me. However after a few counseling sessions, it was made obvious that people do not stare unless you make a spectacle of yourself. Since that time, at my doctor's suggestion, I go wherever and whenever I wish, and to make sure that I am dressed appropriate for the occasion.What a mission, that night I decided to go to a local club, called the "Heart Breakers" as Erin. I entered the place dressed casually in a skirt and blouse. I sat at the bar, and one of the patrons tried to pick me up. Boy [Girl} What a strange feeling The next night was a drag queen show, so after a period of trepidation, Erin decided to break out the heavy artillery. I slipped into a waist clincher, strapless bra, and a sequined, low cut, short cocktail dress. What a night. I met some great people, danced [how on earth does one learn to follow in heels??] I had the time of my life as a girl for the night. No scars, no bad times. Ever since then I have felt more secure, and I push the the female envelope whenever I can. I do a lot of traveling, and once I hit the airport the girl comes out, and I make the transition to the somewhat shy but happy
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