Meeting Claire

By Trish and Claire Stafford


Preamble: I met 'Trish when I started working at a hospital in one of the outer suburbs of my home city of Melbourne. She is of Anglo-Indian descent and, perhaps because of that, comes across as a very quiet and shy girl. This conceals a very pronounced sense of humour and is great fun to be with. She is what the 'Aussie' vernacular refers to as a 'dag'. This is a great compliment to anyone who is called such, i.e "You're such a dag". It's one of the great mysteries of Australian humour, as a 'dag' is what they call the dirty bits that hang off a sheeps backside.

In the following she describes herself as 'inadequate', referring to her style, or lack of, dress. She is being very unfair to herself in this regard as most women never come to the level of clothing or make-up appreciation that a c.d. or trans-person will. Women grow up with it and it isn't as special to them, at least as special as it is to us. We work at it, with enjoyment, often to hide what we percieve as our undesirable side, our maleness.

'Trish is a very pretty girl and I would kill, joke, (maybe) to have the soft, gentle, attractiveness that she has. She does not have the desire to wear clothes or make-up with the enthusiasm that we (I) do, which is fine, it's her right and to encourage her to be otherwise could be percieved as dissatisfaction. Which I have no right to do. She is a lovely person and I consider it a privilage to know her and be her friend, I also care for her very deeply.


Trish: When I first started to get to know him I knew there was something different - something that separated him from other men I knew.

We went out together a number of times, coffee or the movies, his behaviour and manner were two characteristics that stood out for me. He was more than a gentleman, it's hard for me to find words it. He always showed an interest in me and in my life, making useful suggestions, advice and giving me fresh ideas and outlooks. He was always polite and seemed to know what I, as a female, liked, wanted, expected..... He was, in as nice a way as I can describe it, 'feminine', as well as loving and caring.

We built on our friendship. It was different to others I had experienced, I really felt that (for the first time in my life) I could tell him things I had told no one, and feel comfortable doing so. He was a willing listener and always welcomed my phone calls, letters and visits. He was always enthusiastic about seeing/hearing from me, and that made me feel great.

I must admit, I did have my suspicions about him - Why! Why was he so different to other men? Why was he so attuned to other females - he pleased them so easily. I watched him - he always had a swag of women around him at work. Yes he was attractive, and handsome, but I felt there was more to it than that.

Then one day I had my suspicions confirmed, he admitted he was what he termed a cross-dresser - a.k.a. 'Claire Stafford'. He didn't want to tell me for fear of hurting me and loosing me, but felt it was like keeping a secret from me. What he didn't know is that subtle hints were dropped along the way which added up for me.

I did not have a problem with the idea - it was harmless and part of who he is. This is what set him apart from other men. He had been there on the other side and had an awareness of both sides of the male/female relationship.

Sometime afterwards I asked to see/meet Claire, because she seemed to be such an integral part of his life. He was concerned about my interest, thinking perhaps he was pushing me into it. But I allayed his concerns - it just took me longer than most to ask the obvious questions. He started me off 'slow', with photographs, and awaited my reaction. I thought Claire was pretty and elegant and told him so.

Soon after I had the good fortune of meeting Claire, which was really nerve wracking for the two of us - especially since our relationship had come so far and this could probably either make it or break it. Claire was obviously hyped up.

We arranged to meet one sunny afternoon at his flat, she was visiting a friend and I was to telephone whenever I was on my way over as I had been working for the early part of the day. I arrived at the flat and waited for 'her' arrival. I had never actually met a cross dresser before and therefore I wasn't sure if Claire was going to be completely different to him, with a new personality or still have some of 'his' traits.

She pulled up in her car and stepped out, she was wearing what she referred as her 'corporate look', one which she wore whenever she went about her shopping in the city during the day. This 'look' consisted of a jacket and short skirt in navy, matching court shoes and a white blouse. The greeting was the most awkward, I decided to simply extend my hand and say, "Hello". I wanted to reach out and hug her but I wasn't sure if it was 'right'. She extended her arms and I willingly joined the embrace. Yes, it was o.k. to hug, that put me more at ease.

As I expected seeing her in person was unlike the photos but, the fact remained, that Claire was still really lovely. What struck me most was the amount of detail and trouble that Claire goes to with make-up, hair and accessories. The reason that it stuck out is because she looked fantastic and I felt inadequate because I don't go to half the trouble - she really showed me up.

The other thing I noted was that Claire looked magnificant in everything she wore, I wished I had a figure like that and I'm sure Claire could teach me stacks about make-up, hair, clothes, accessorising etc.

It was a real pleasure and honour for me to meet Claire and in fact for me to be one of the select few who 'he' felt comfortable enough to share this major part of 'his' life with. I appreciated the opportunity of meeting Claire for the first time and sincerely hope that it will not be the last.

Here's to many more meetings and happy times, Cheers, 'Trish.

Claire: I should add here, Trish added a letter to the item above. She said that I should be willing to go for what I really want to do, and deal with the consequences as they come up. In conversation with her I suggested that I wanted Claire to be a real person, she nodded. As we are very close I asked her, in a half joking manner, would she be happy living with or having a relationship with me as Claire? She said, she "knows the person, and whatever form I was in would make no difference".

I felt very surprised and flattered at that.


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