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Child's Play

A Remembrance

By Kelly Davidson

Part Two


Subscribers can read Part One and Part Three




Chapter III

The light from the room suddenly came shining down on me. I looked up and saw Mrs. Smith standing there with big smile on her face. I was fearing the worst but her face told me she wasn't upset or grossed out by what she saw. In fact, it was the opposite, she looked totally happy. Not only did Mrs. Smith want me to be her little girl, I think she actually believed it.

"Oh Susan!" she squealed with delight. "You look soooo adorable. Your sister didn't looked as good in this dress as you do. Come out of that closet so I can get a better look at you." She grab my hand and pulled me into the middle of the room. "Oh my, what a pretty little girl you are."

"I couldn't get the dressed zipped up all the way Mrs. Smith."

"Mommy," she replied back to me. "Remember? And that's okay, I do it for you sugar. I just can't believe how good you look in this dress, it's perfect on you. However, we are going to have to do something about this petticoat, it's a little low." She knelt down and had me lift up part of my dress while she made some adjustments to it.

"Lower your dress now," she told me. "Okay, that looks much better." Moving my hair to one side she zipped up my dress and straighten out the collar and some bows. Looking carefully at me she said, "There are still a few things we need to take care of to complete this outfit. Come with me". Taking my hand she led me into her bedroom.

The shoes were tight and petticoat rustled against my legs, which caused the skirt to sway back and forth as I walked. It was a struggle for me not to fall, let alone walk in this outfit. Somehow I managed to make it into to her bedroom without falling over.

"Sit down in the chair at the makeup table." she commanded. Easier said then done. Every time I tried to sit down I had a pile of ruffles to fight with. Mrs. Smith just watched with amusement.

"Here, try sitting down this way," which she then showed me. Her way ended up working out much better then mine and I was able to sit without having my dress sticking up. The chair was already soft but all the ruffles from the petticoat made me feel like I was sitting on a couple of pillows.

The makeup table she sat me at was huge and meant for serious business. It had three, large mirrors and six sets of drawers (three on each side). The two side mirrors were placed at a 45 degree angle, which allowed me to see what I looked like from both sides. On the table were several smaller mirrors, numerous bottles of perfume and makeup, lipstick, hairbrushes, and some jewelry.

Mrs. Smith picked up a brush and started bushing my hair, working on the front curl to make it more noticeable. When this was done, she laid the brush down and pulled from one of the drawers a big, white bow. With great care she attached it to the back of my head. The ribbons from the bow almost ran down to the end of my hair.

From another drawer she pulled out a pair of white, lace gloves and told me to put them on. The ends of the gloves almost went up to my elbows. Mrs. Smith explained that they had been her mothers and was glad one of her girls would enjoy wearing them.

From still another drawer she pulled out a white, pearl necklace. Placing it around my neck it hung just above the collar of my dress. I had never thought of trying on my mothers jewelry before and seeing the necklace had me spell-bound.

"Okay, we need to add some makeup to give you the right effect," as she pick up a bottle off the table. "I need you to sit very still while I put this on, so don't move". Over the next half hour she applied blush, eye shadow and liner, pink lipstick, nail polish and finally, some of the sweetest-smelling perfume I had ever smelled in my life, even to this day.

When she was all done Mrs. Smith stood back and looked at me. "Oh Susan, you look so beautiful. " There was a lot emotion in her voice. "Your a living doll in that dress. I can't wait to show you off." She got down on her knees and gave me a big hug. "We'll going to have so much fun today, just you and me. Girl fun that is."

A thought caught in my mind. "Mommy, what do you mean you can't wait to show me off?" I asked nervously.

"Did I say that?" she said as a sly smile came to her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean too. Wishful thinking I guess. Anyway young lady, we have work to do. It's one thing to look like a little girl, it's quite another to act like one. The contest is next month and you have a lot to learn. I'll make you a promise, if you work hard this morning I'll take it easy on you for the afternoon. Agree?"

Before I had a chance to answer she took my hand and led me into the living room. Over the next couple of hours I was taught how to sit, walk and act like a proper little girl. Mrs. Smith was teaching me all the things I needed to know to compete in the contest. In fact she made the comment, "With your looks, poise, and that dress you're going to be contender Susanna. Now give me a smile," she said as I posed for a picture, sitting in a chair with my legs bent sideways, hands together resting on the skirt and my hair flowing down my shoulders. It was during this time I saw my mother get into her car and drive away. I was a lot more relax after this.

I continued to relearn how to do things until about noon. Mrs. Smith looked at the clock and said, "Lets stop now and have lunch." I agreed but instead of heading to the kitchen she led me back to her bedroom. Going to her closet she pulled out a white blouse and handed it to me. "Here, lets put this on over your dress so we don't get food on it". A new wave of excitement came over me. It was one thing to be wearing Lisa's clothes, now I was trying on Mrs. Smith stuff. I was hoping she would hand me a skirt or something else to wear but instead we walked back to the kitchen. From the side of the refrigerator she pulled out a fancy apron and placed it over me.

"There, I think that should be okay. We don't want to get anything on your pretty dress, now do we? So, what shall we fix for lunch?" We decided on some grill cheese sandwiches which I help make.

After we ate and cleaned up the dishes, I removed the blouse (with much reluctance) and handed it back to Mrs. Smith. "We need to freshen up your makeup but that can wait a while. Since you worked so hard this morning I'm going to let you play while I do some needle work."

The news made me happy. True, I was living out a dream and so far it had been more then I could have hoped for. But I had grown tired from the routine of relearning to walk, sit and talk like a little girl just so I could impress a judge in a contest which, I would never be in. In fact, not only was I tired, I had become bored with this make-believe game. While I still liked the idea of dressing up and even acting like a little girl, the things Mrs. Smith made me do hadn't been as fun as I thought they would be. Realities never live up to your dreams.

Then there was my age. If I had been older the situation would have been different. But at eleven years old, my attention span wasn't that long. The little kid inside me had had enough. He wanted to go outside to run and play with his friends. He needed to do something different.

"Can I go outside and play?" I asked, thinking I could change back into my own clothes and go to the park. My friends would be starting a baseball game about this time.

"I'm afraid not Susan." Mrs. Smith replied. "I don't want you to get your dress dirty and I'm not ready for you to take it off yet." The reply took me back, I hadn't been prepared for that answer.

"But I really want to go outside." I began to whine. "Please, can't I change and go outside. I need to get some fresh air and stretch my legs."

"Sorry Susan, I need you to keep that dress on for a little while longer." She looked at me with a sly smile. "I guess if want we could go for a walk in the park. Would that help?"

"In this?" I responded, holding out my skirt. "My friends would laugh at me.

"No they wouldn't Susan. In fact, I bet your friends would over fight each other just to sit next to such a pretty little girl on the swing. I know the dress is a little more fancy then most girls wear but I don't think they would make fun of you because of it."

Clearly Mrs. Smith wasn't thinking straight or she didn't understand the situation. Had she forgotten who I really was? "But I'm not really a little girl, that's the problem," I shouted.

Oh really?" She walked me over to the mirror. "Look at yourself Susanna. Your beautiful and complete. Nobody could ever tell that there is a boy in there".

I looked at the person in the mirror and realized she was right. It wasn't a boy wearing a dress that I saw. It was little girl in a lacy, pink outfit with white bows and ribbons. She had long, blonde hair that flowed down to her waist and a big, white bow that hung on the back of her head. The shinny black shoes, the white gloves, even the ruffles that peaked out from underneath my dress now and then, they all helped to make me into the illusion of being a little girl.

"You just need to believe that the person in the mirror is really who it appears to be," She whispered in my ear. "If it helps, I believe you are the prettiest little girl a mother could ever have." Mrs. Smith wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. "I've enjoyed myself this morning. How about you, have you enjoyed yourself?"

I shook my head and stared at her happy face in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I was in love. I didn't want her to stop hugging me and I would have done anything to make her happy. She was much different then my mother, who I could never seem to please. Mrs. Smith accepted me for who I was and didn't expect me to be someone I wasn't. I knew she wouldn't yell at me for getting a B+ on a math test instead of an A. She would have been happy just knowing I had tried.

I loved the way Mrs. Smith smelled and how she dressed. The clothes she wore, usually dresses or skirts, were always so pretty and stylish then other women her age. She was everything a man, in my case a 11 year old, could want. How could I refuse her request?

"So, do you want to go for a walk or stay inside and play?" She asked. It wasn't what I had wanted but actually, it wasn't going to be too bad. True, I couldn't go outside and play baseball like I wanted to but on the other hand, Lisa had a number of great toys I didn't have and most of time she hogged them whenever we played together. Now I could have them all to myself. I guess playing in the house one afternoon wouldn't kill me. In fact, the more I thought about it the better the idea sounded. I could play with some neat toys and still remain dressed.

"I guess I would rather stay inside Mommy. Do you think it would be okay if I got out Lisa's race car set?"

"Actually, I had something else in mind for you to play with," as she took my hand and led the way. I didn't like the way she said that.

Chapter 4 She led back to the spare room and open up the closet. From it she pulled out a large baby doll. The doll had long, dark hair and was wearing a diaper, rubber pants, and a fancy dress. Mrs. Smith also pulled out a box that contained extra dresses, diapers and accessories. As it turned out, the doll was one of those types where you fed it and it would then wet itself. It hardly looked used.

"Here, this should be fun to play with," Mrs. Smith said with excitement as she handed me the doll. "Now you can be a mommy just like me".

While I had always liked the idea of dressing up and even acting like a little girl, I never had any interest in playing with dolls. In fact, I was embarrassed to even be holding it in front of her.

"A doll?" I said in a shocked voice. Can't I play with something else? I mean, you don't expect me to play with an old doll, do you?"

"Why Susan, this just isn't any old doll. This is the type of doll that all little girls dream of playing with." Then she gave me a real big smile and said, "And do you know what the best part is, she's all yours, no one else's." I took little comfort in that last statement.

"But, but, I don't even know how to play with a doll. What am I suppose to do with it?" I asked, hoping this would get me off the hook.

"Well, first you give her a name....then you feed and change her. Lets see, next you can read her a book, I bet she would like that. Then you can give her a bath and make sure she is clean and dry. After that you can dress her in a nightgown and rock her to sleep. Of course, you will need to sing to her." she added with a smile.

"Me, sing to a doll?" I protested. "I can't do that, I just can't."

"Sure you can." she replied back sweetly. "Susan, your going to find that this is a lot of fun if you give it a chance. I used to spend hours playing with my dolls and they couldn't do half the things that this one does. In fact, your a very lucky girl to have such a nice doll."

I didn't feel that lucky. I kept trying to think of a way out without hurting her feelings. "I really don't think I can do this very well. Maybe we should try something else."

"Now Susan," her voice becoming stern and made me take notice. "Remember our deal. You agreed to be a good girl and do as I say. I've kept my part of the bargain, haven't I? Now it's your turn to listen to me." Then her voice became sweet and understanding again.

"Trust me sugar, you're going to enjoy yourself. Just give it a try, you will see. I know you will make a great mommy." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the living room. "Come on baby, you can play in the living room while I work on this quilt. And if you're a good girl, maybe I'll teach you how to sew later on."

I took a place on the couch while Mrs. Smith sat in a rocker close by. After a few minutes of me just sitting there holding the doll under one arm, Mrs. Smith asked, "What did you decide to call your baby Susan?" I felt my cheeks turn red. It was embarrassing enough to be holding the doll, now I had to name it."

"I don't know?" I muttered, hoping she would get the hint and let me play with something else. But Mrs. Smith wasn't about to give up so fast. "Come on Susanna, give this a try. It would make me very happy. Remember our rules, be a good girl now."

I thought about it and sighed. "Okay, how about...Sally. Do you like that name mommy?"

"Sally is a very pretty name for your baby Susan. But hold her closer, with both hands, she's not going to bite. And talked to her and let her know you love her."

I was totally embarrassed by this time but realized there was no way out. Trying to make the best of it, I lifted the doll up to my chest and started talking to her. Next I took out a bottle and began feeding my baby. I silently cursed the person who had designed such a doll. Mrs. Smith on the other hand just smiled at me from the rocker while working on her quilt.

Time seemed to drag, every minute seemed like an hour. "How long would she make me do this?" I kept asking myself. "Not the whole afternoon. Perhaps once I did everything she had asked me to do I could play with something else, something I wanted to do.

After feeding the doll it's bottle, I checked the diaper and sure enough, it was wet. Instead of changing it, I pulled out the toy bathtub and filled it with water. Mrs. Smith brought me a washcloth and soap to use and allowed me to take off my gloves and put on her apron.

It was hard work washing the doll on my knees while wearing this fancy, Sunday school dress. The ruffles from the petticoat didn't cooperate and dress wasn't made for kneeing. Somehow I managed to soap and rinse off the doll without getting my dress wet or dirty.

After drying off the doll, I faced the next hurtle of putting a new diaper on her. The problem was, I had never changed a diaper and didn't know how to put a new one on. In fact, these were real store brought-en diapers that you would buy for new-born infants. I hated to ask but, "Mommy, I don't know how to do this. Can you help me?"

"Sure I can honey. Here, let me show you." She laid the doll on the table and taught me how to do it. "Okay, you give it a try," as she handed the doll back to me. I did what she showed me and managed to get the baby doll diapered and then dressed in another outfit.

"Your baby looks tired Susan." Mrs. Smith said. "I think you need to give her a bottle and make her take a nap. Here, take my chair so you can rock and sing her to sleep." Mrs. Smith moved her stuff to another chair and gently forced me into the rocker. I gave up trying to hold my dress down (from all the ruffles) and worked on holding the doll up while feeding it a bottle. Slowly I started to rock in the chair, hoping this would end soon.

"Come on dear." Mrs. Smith encouraged. "Sing to your baby. Let me hear your sweet voice honey." I gritted my teeth and softly started to hum, then sing, "Rock-a-by-baby" to the doll.

After my third repeat of the song, Mrs. Smith couldn't take it anymore. "Oh Susan," she said, her voice filled with pleasure. "You are so adorable sitting there. I have to get a picture of this". She grabbed her camera and took a few more shots of me. I, on the other hand, kept squeezing the bottle, trying to get the doll drink faster. The sooner the bottle was done, the sooner I could lay the doll down and be done with it.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bottle was empty. I laid the doll on the couch and told Mrs. Smith that Sally was asleep. Of course I knew the diaper was wet but was hoping Mrs. Smith would forget so I wouldn't have to change her again.

"Oh, you can't leave your baby sleeping on the couch like that honey". A idea pop into her head. "Wait a minute, I'll be right back."

I heard her go into the basement and move some stuff around. A moment later she came back up the stairs dragging something behind her. "I thought it had been thrown away, but it wasn't." she said with happiness in her voice. "It used to be mine but I'm giving it to you. What do you think."

It was an old baby buggy that had seen better days. The handle was rusty, the wheels were loose, and entire thing was filthy. Mrs. Smith got a wet towel and cleaned up the dirt. "It's old but still in good shape honey. At least this way you can take your baby with you without having to carry her all the time."

After a few minute of cleaning, the buggy looked a lot better. Mrs. Smith tied a few ribbons to the outside of it and gave me an old baby blanket to cover up the doll with. I placed my doll into the buggy and covered her up. Then Mrs. Smith had me push the baby buggy around the room while she watched with delight.

"Oh Susan," she said. "You look so sweet. If only we had time to go to the park, you could push your baby around on some of the paths they have there."

My mind went back to the park. I imagine pushing the baby buggy down a path dress like I was. Being dressed this way wasn't too bad but pushing a baby buggy with my doll in it, the image caused me to shiver. "Can I change now?"

Mrs. Smith looked at the clock and said," No honey, I need you to wear this outfit a little while longer. In fact, I think it's time we freshen up your makeup dear." She got up and led me back to her bedroom again. This time, Mrs. Smith seemed to put more care into making sure my hair and makeup was just right. I didn't know the reason but was about to find out.

We went back into the living room where Mrs. Smith made me repeat some of the things she had taught me that morning. I was drilled on the proper way to walk, talk and sit like a young lady. When this was done Mrs. Smith got down on her knees and started fixing the bows and ribbons on my dress so everything was just right. Why all the fuss I wondered. Was she planning to take more pictures? Little did I realize that for the next hour I was about to play the ultimate game of make-believe.

Part V

It started when there was a knock on the door. I panic, thinking maybe my mother had come back early. But as I tried to leave Mrs. Smith grab and firmly held me in place.

"Stay right here," she told me. "Everything's all right, I was expecting guest at this time. It's my surprise to you."

"I can't stay here. Look at ME!" I protested. My body was shaking with fear. Was I ready for this? There was another knock at the door

"Susanna, I don't have time to argue about this." In a softer voice she said, "Look honey, you're perfect. No one will know. Just do the things you learn and enjoy being a little girl. You'll love this experience, I promise. You look perfect. Now, take a deep breath and relax. Everything will be alright. "

Mrs. Smith let go and walked backwards towards the door while keeping her eyes on me. "Just relax, you will do fine." She pointed her finger at me to stay before turning to open the door.

"Are you Mrs. Smith?" I heard someone ask.

"Yes, I'm am. Hi. You must be from the committee. I'm glad you could make it. Please, come in and call me Linda" Three ladies entered into the house. Two were in their late thirty's and the other couldn't have been more then twenty.

"Thank you Linda. You have a lovely house," one of the older ladies said as she looked around the living room and spied me. "Oh my, and who is this lovely princess?" The three ladies looked over to where I was standing.

"This is my 10 year old daughter Susanna," Mrs. Smith proudly announced.

"What a pretty dress!" the first lady continued. "She's adorable Linda." I stood there, too afraid to move.

"We were working on her outfit so she would be ready for the "Little Misses" contest at the state fair next month. We're hoping to win this year."

"Well I don't see how she can lose," the second older lady replied. "She's as cute as a button. And that dress, oh, I just have to touch it. Do you mind Susanna?"

Before I had a chance to reply, all three ladies were touching my dress, straightening bows and smoothing out my skirt."

"I remember wearing dresses like this when I was younger," the first older lady said. They use to make me feel so pretty. Do you like wearing dresses like this Susanna?"

I shook my head but Mrs. Smith commanded, "Speak up dear, just like I taught you."

"Yes ma'am." I replied. Thank goodness I hadn't hit puberty and could still make my voice sound softer then it was.

"And you're so polite too. Linda, you have raised a fine young lady here. Does she have any other surprises?"

"Only one," I thought but kept quiet. Mrs. Smith just looked at me and grinned. "Nope, none that I know of."

"Well I have a daughter who is 13 years old and I have to fight with her just to wear a skirt to church," the first lady continued. "She won't even look at "a dress" when we go to the store."

"Your lucky," replied the second older lady. "My daughter is 17 and refuses to even put on a skirt. In fact, she wore a pants suit to a prom. Can you believe that. She has a closet full of some of the prettiest skirts and dresses that I made for her but she refuses to wear them. Maybe I should give them to Susanna," she said with a smiled.

"I hate to say this," she continued. "But last month my daughter got her hair cut real short. Because of the way she dresses, most of the time she looks like a boy. And when I ask her to wear a dress she refuses. Her reason is that her other friends dress this way and she doesn't want to break fashion. How about you Mary? Any thoughts?"

The younger women spoke for the first time. "I used to love dressing up as a princess when I was a little girl. I would go out as one every Halloween. My dream is to dress my child as a princess all the time.....even if it's a "boy". Everyone, including Mrs. Smith, broke out in laughter. "Don't worry Susanna, he could never be as pretty as you."

"Well, you are very pretty in that dress. I bet you're going to hate taking it off," the first lady commented. It's nice to see a little girl who is not ashamed to be...a girl. And such a pretty one." I felt my cheeks starting to turn red from all this attention.

"Today, too many girls want to dress and look like boys." she added. It's nice to meet young ladies like yourself who don't mine dressing up in pretty outfits. It lets us, the older generation, know that in the future there will still be young ladies who won't mined acting and dressing as such. Your the hope for our future womanhood" (Now that was an interesting thought).

Despite being embarrassed, I realize she had given me a compliment. Maybe I could get away with this. "Yes ma'am, and thank you," as I held out my skirt and bowed, just as Mrs. Smith had taught me. The three ladies giggled with pleasure while Mrs. Smith beamed with at me with pride.

"Well, I figure we could work on my application over here," said Mrs. Smith, pointing to the chairs in one corner of the living room. "Have a seat while I get some coffee and snacks. Susanna, be a good girl and help your mother, okay."

"Okay mommy," as I walked behind her into the kitchen. The minute we went around the corner Mrs. Smith turned and gave me a giant hug.

"You were fantastic back there," her voice filled with pride. "I couldn't be prouder of you, especially when you bowed to them. That was perfect. Your a very good learner Susan" One of her hands went down and patted me on the bottom. I'm proud you're my daughter. I want you to always be my little girl."

That was all I wanted to hear. All my life I had been looking for someone to accept me and make me feel wanted. I never did seem to fit in at home. No matter what I did, it never seem to be good enough. I prayed to God, while she was holding on to me, to make it so. I wanted to be her little girl for life.

"I love you mommy," and I did. The words were real, not rehearsed. She smiled back at me and said, "Well, we have guest we have to take care of. Come on, lets get busy." She stood up and walked over to the counter.

Even though I had passed with flying colors, being around those other women was a nerve-racking experience. I had a number of fears about being caught, and they were still dancing in my head. "What would happen if these ladies found out who I really was? Would the police be called in? Would my parents find out?" I really didn't want to find out the answers to these questions. What I really wanted to do was to play it safe and stay in the kitchen or hide out in Lisa's bedroom until they left. But Mrs. Smith had other plans for me

She handed me a plate of cookies. "Here, take these and serve them to our guest please." Seeing the fear in my eyes she added, "You're doing great Susanna, keep up the good work. She turned me around so I faced the entrance to the living room and whispered in my ear, "Take a deep breath.....Relax." She gave a slight push to start me walking towards the living room.

I carried the cookies out to where the three ladies were sitting. Each of them gave me a pleasant smile and thanked me. A minute later Mrs. Smith followed me out with a tea tray. The three ladies introduce themselves to us and Mrs. Smith took a seat next to one of them leaving me standing.

"Baby doll, why don't you go play with Sally while we talk." Mrs. Smith motion to the doll that was still lying in the buggy.

"Okay," I replied. I picked the doll up and headed for the hallway but only got a few feet before I heard Mrs. Smith say, "Excuse me for a moment. Susan dear, where are you going?" "I was going to my room to play so I wouldn't disturb you"

"That is very nice of you honey but I want you to play in here where I can keep on eye on you. That dress cost us a lot of money and I don't want to see you get it dirty, okay. You can play on the couch with Sally, just don't try to give her a bath." Mrs. Smith then turned and went back to her guest.

"What an embarrassing situation," I thought to myself as I sat on the couch and stared at the ladies on the other side of the room. But what else could I do. If I left the room Mrs. Smith would only drag me back in and, she would be mad. I didn't want that to happen. And, I couldn't just sit here, I was suppose to be a little girl and just sitting was not what a 10 year girl would do. No, if I wanted these ladies to think I was a little girl then I had to acted like one. So, what would a little girl do in this situation. I knew the answer even before I started thinking it out. There was only one thing I could do to keep my masquerade. I was trapped and I knew it. Mrs. Smith looked up and gave me the eye to start playing.

I laid the doll on the table and changed it's diaper. This caught the attention of all three ladies, who seemed more interested in what I was doing them what Mrs. Smith was saying. From the box I pulled out a pretty dress and carefully pull it over the dolls head. To keep up the appearance, I kept smiling and talking to my doll . After she was dressed, I brushed it's long, dark hair.

Once done, I sat the doll on my lap and read a book to her. Mrs. Smith continued to talk while the three ladies took their turn checking to see what I was doing.

The longer I played with the doll the more embarrass I became. While I would have given my front teeth to stop I also realized that the longer I played with the doll, the more convinced these ladies would believe that I was just another little girl. So I force myself to play the part happier, more joyfully, more serious then any little girl could.

I read the doll a couple of books before I couldn't take it anymore. Grabbing the bottle, I proceeded to feed my baby while talking softly to her. By now I was feeling totally foolish but knew this was the only way to keep up my cover. Every now and then one of the ladies would look up and give me an approving look.

Ten minutes later the bottle was done and the doll's diaper was wet again. While I worked on changing the diaper, I listen to what was going on. Mrs. Smith was trying to get a grant from these ladies for a special quilt she wanted to make. It seem like she had been talking for hours, going over her plans. "When was this meeting going to end?" I asked myself.

After changing the doll's diaper, I started looking through the box for something to dress her in. I came across a pretty pink nightgown with lace on it. With great care, I dressed the doll in it.

A horrible thought then struck me. There wasn't anything left to do but sing my doll to sleep, something I was dreading. I felt foolish enough playing with this doll but having to sing to it in front of strangers, it was more then I could stand. I just couldn't bring myself to doing it. Instead, I held the doll in my lap hoping no one would take noticed.

After a few minutes of explaining her quilt to the ladies, someone else started talking and Mrs. Smith looked over at me. Our eyes locked and in an instant, I had read her mind. She made a motion to continue with what I was doing or else.

With great resistance, I lifted the doll up and snuggle it against my chest. I began swinging my arms back and forth and softly sang a la-la-bye to my baby doll. The ladies in the group looked over and stared at me with such admiration. I could read their minds as well. Each of them dreamed of having a little girl like myself who they could dress in pretty clothes and watch as she played with her dolls. I could tell Mrs. Smith was thrilled with my performance as she struggled to continue.

After what seemed like forever, the meeting finally broke up. I continued to rock the doll as the three ladies stood up and walked over to me.

"That's a very pretty baby you have there Susanna," one of them said. What is her name?"

"Sally," I replied shyly. I didn't want to get into a discussion about my doll.

"I see you take really good care of her," she continued to ramble, almost as if she believe it was a really person. Then it dawned on me, I had done such a good job of acting in front of her that she actually believed I thought it was "a real baby". In fact, from their smiles, all three ladies believed that. These ladies must think I was little baby or something. I held onto the doll even tighter, part out of embarrassment and part of fear of blowing my cover.

"Oh yes, she is a good mother to Sally," Mrs. Smith agreed adding on to my woes. "In fact, she plays with Sally most of the day. She is a fine mommy."

"How old is your baby Susanna?", one of the older ladies asked. I just stood there, too embarrass to say anything.

"Go on and tell her honey," Mrs. Smith coaxed.

"Six months," I said, clutching the doll even tighter.

"Look how tight she holds her doll." one of the older ladies whisper to the others. "Don't worry Susanna, we are not going to take your baby away." All three laugh as if this was quite funny while I loosen my death-grip on the doll.

"Well, she is a very pretty baby, and you're a very nice little girl. It was a pleasure meeting you,." she smiled and said as she patted me on the shoulder. The three ladies said their good-byes and headed out the door. Mrs. Smith turned after they left and gave me a big smile."

"Come here you little angel," Mrs. Smith said, holding out her arms. She gave me a big hug and lifted me slightly off the ground. "You were perfect," she said in a joyful manner. "Those women envied me for having such a sweet, pretty little girl. I'm sorry I didn't warn you but I didn't want to you to be nervous before-hand. Now, aren't you glad I didn't?"

I had to admit I was glad she didn't tell me. If she had, I would have been a nervous wreak before they had gotten here. It is a memory I treasure today and I'm glad it happened. I would do it again if I had the chance.

Mrs. Smith stopped hugging me and said, "I guess now you can change into another outfit, unless you would like to play some more. In fact, I was thinking we could do something together. Would you like that?"

The excitement of the outfit had worn off but I still wasn't ready to exchange this dress for another. Besides which, the thought of doing something with Mrs. Smith sounded much more exciting. Being around her was a wonderful experience and I wanted to do as much with her as I could. "I would love to do something with you mommy, what do you have in mind? Anything you want."

"Anything?", Mrs. Smith said with a smile and grab my hand. "Come along with me then sweetie, I have another surprise for you." She led me into the spare bedroom again and told me to sit on the bed. She reached down and pull out a box from underneath the it.

"You're going to love this baby doll."

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