
By Angela Gardner
Hi Kittens. This month The Diva arrives
with, in the words of Lyndon B. Johnson, a heavy heart. An era has
ended. Red Skelton has died.
As big an event as the passing of Princess Diana was, the death of
Red Skelton brought me to tears sooner. Diana's death is a tragedy
because she was so young and seemed to be finally finding her piece
of the pie after years of problems and pain. Red lived a long and
very full life. The sad part is the world will never see his like
again.
I grew up with that man. When I was just a child I'd jump into my
jammies and sit right in front of the big floor model television to
watch The Red Skelton Show. Just as I'd take a sip of my
evening beverage Red would do something hilarious and the beverage
would exit my mouth and nose to coat the screen of the television
set. Princess Diana never got that reaction out of me. (Well, one or
two of her earlier outfits almost did it.)
Red did his share of comedic drag, too. Not quite as much of a
glamour bunny as Milton Berle, Red used his gigantic comedic
skills to suggest feminine charms, and his combination of pathos and
humor was always good for a smile... or blowing a beverage all over
the TV. (Mmmm... TV messes up TV?)
Up until just a few months ago Red did shows in Atlantic City
pretty regularly. Every time I saw the billboards I'd said, hey, I
oughta go see Red, but I didn't. I guess deep down I always wanted to
remember the Red of my youth. As soon as I finish this column I'm
gonna run out and rent all his old movies from the'40s. They say you
can't go home again but thanks to the wonders of modern technology
you can visit for an hour or two.
Thanks for all the laughs, Red, and in your own words, "May God
bless."
Ya know kids, I get serious every now and then. Usually it clears
up as soon as I adjust my medication. Before I do that, however, I
have one more serious item.
Hair Today
I have had a newspaper cutting about a thrift shop that donates
reconditioned wigs to cancer patients hanging around the house for so
long that the paper has gone yellow. I had been meaning to take
several wigs in for months and guess what? I finally got around to
doing it. It took the fact that I'm moving and don't want to carry a
giant bag of old hair to my new place.
I did my good deed at the Full Circle Thrift Shop in New Britain,
Pennsylvania. If you want to donate I'm sure you could mail the hair
to them if you're not in the neighborhood. Give them a call at
215-340-0120 to get the address. Or, if you contact the
American Cancer
Society they can probably put you in touch with a similar
operation in your neck of the woods.
It's the perfect way for members of the transgender community to
help others. So many crossdressers have gigantic wig collections that
they never get around to wearing, it's a good idea if they pass along
a few wigs to those who could really use some hair.
OK, that's it for the serious stuff. Let's move on to the bubbly,
frothy, fun stuff. Oooo!
One Transgendered Life To Live

The Club Indigo on the ABC soap One Life To Live has
acquired a new bartender. Her name is Wendy Mercury (Mercury? Any
relation to Freddie?) and she's romantically interested in the town's
District Attorney. The catch? It seems that if you ask the club's
co-owner he'll tell you Wendy is a man. ABC has not said how the
character identifies but they admit that she's played by "gender
illusionist" Shequida, who, according to published reports,
"performs at Manhattan's Lucky Chang's" (could they mean Lucky
Cheng's, or maybe Good Luck Chang's?) restaurant and club. So soap
addicts, now there's a show for us. I checked the past few weeks of
plot synopsis at the ABC website but
I didn't find a mention of the sexy new bartender. Keep your eye on
the site and the show. Let me know if Wendy get's the D.A. in the
sack.
They'll Whip More Than Your Butter
Those of you who are into domination and submission (that's right,
you, you pitiful tramp) will appreciate this charming little eatery
in NYC where the waitresses are dominants and at least one of them is
a TG dominatrix. (Her name's Bianca, and don't make the mistake of
taking her for a submissive... unless you enjoy being disciplined,
that is.)
The place is called La Nouvelle Justine and it's named for
a Marquis de Sade novel. The cuisine? French, of course my
little boot heel. It's located on 23rd Street and in addition to the
food you can get a birthday paddling, a boot-cleaning, or the chance
to eat from a dog bowl at the feet of a whip-wielding mistress. It's
bargain priced domination at $20 per special.
It's not too hard core, though. Joan Rivers, who dines
there when she's in the mood says, "It's like Disney meets S&M.
Our busboy didn't bring the bread fast enough, so the maitre d'
spanked him."
So kittens, get out the leather and vinyl dresses and I'll meet
you in their bar. We'll have a Martini and see if the maitre d' will
lend us a whip. Or at least a wire whisk.
Strange Bedfellows
The man who brought us LaVerne & Shirley is the same
man who wrote jokes for Christine Jorgensen. We tend to forget
that transsexual pioneer Jorgensen supported herself after the
operation by putting together a nightclub act. Back in those days
famous producer and writer Gary Marshall was a young, not so
famoius writer. Christine needed jokes and Gary had them. All you can
say is, who'd a thunk it?
I found this out on the Late Late Show back in August,
right after my deadline so I couldn'tget it into last months column.
Tom Snyder did a couple of the jokes that were around at the time
Miss Jorgensen made headlines. The most tasteful of them was, "He
went to Europe and came back a broad." Tom tries, but I just don't
think he has this politically correct thing down.
Speaking of Politically Incorrect...
Did you notice the Bud Light drag babes are back? They appear in a
spot with the king of political incorrectness (Bill Mahr jump back)
Don Rickles. Oh, shut up dummy!
In this spot a couple of guys are checking out the scene at a hot
nightclub. They see the alluring back of a blonde in a sequin gown as
she stands at the bar. They are trying to decide which one has the
best chance of making time with her when Don steps in and tells them
to watch a master at work. He approaches the blonde bombshell... and
she turns and explodes into a Bud Light drag guy. (Did I mention
Milton Berle before?) The rest of the "girls" appear in the
background and Don looks suitably appalled. Just when you thought it
was safe....
New York, New York
I went into the City a couple of weeks ago to review the film
Different For Girls, and as far as I know New York's one of
the few towns in this great land of ours where you can see this film.
It is set for a broader distribution in October, I'm told. While I
was in town I was swept up with the energy of the city (I mugged a
tourist) and I recommend that you get all dolled up and visit the
Apple whenever you can. I actually saw a man in a dress at a
restaurant in the village. Can you imagine a thing like that?
Some of the shows now playing in NYC are just for us. Check
out:
A demi-musical titled Lypsinka Is Harriet Craig is playing
at Mother on West 14th Street. Lypsinka speaks in this
production, which features a full cast in a stage adaption of the
Joan Crawford movie of the '50s. It was originally set to close on
Sept. 12th but has been extended to Sept. 28th.
Lypsinka not only talks in this show but (surprise!) does some
lip-synching to Barbra Streisand and others, as well as synching to
snippets of dialogue from the movie.
If you can't catch Lyp (all her friends call her Lyp) then maybe
you can see New York drag legend Varla Jean Merman who is set
to return to the Village club Eighty Eights with a reprise of her
last show. The new run starts on October 16th and runs every Thursday
night for six weeks. Show time, according to her wig designer (Mr. W.
Wesley Cagle) will be 10:30 p.m. and tickets will run you $15 with a
two drink minimum. Go on and tell her there's no biz like show biz.
Don Your Regalia
It's a 50 minute show of non-stop mirth. Regalia was
written by a guy named Michael Ogborn, but the important thing is my
pal Ricky (Mr. Richard Paul) is one of the stars. Song titles
in the show include: "An Evening Without Margaret Whiting,"
"Sophisticated Twinkie," "Cologne Clone," and "How To Be a Drag Queen
For Fun and Profit." Check it out at The Duplex in Greenwich
Village, four Fridays in November at 10 p.m., on the 7th, 14th, 21st,
and the 28th. Say hi to Ricky if you go. If the rest of the cast are
half as good (and funny) as him then you are really set for a night
of fun. $10 cover; two-drink minimum. Call 212-255-5438 for
reservations. The Duplex is located at 61 Christopher Street.
At The Copa, Copacabana
On Monday, October 13th it's the Bartender's Ball at the
Copacabana. This is a very tran friendly event with large
participation from the Imperial Court of New York. Tickets are a bit
on the pricey side at $100 each and seating is limited to 350. It's
probably worth it though since this is a strictly formal affair;
black tie for manly types and fabulous gowns for the ladies.
Cocktail hour is an open bar from 7 to 8 p.m. and the French
service dinner starts at 8. (Hope they can find enough French
waiters.) Dance all night to a 12 piece big band and be prepared for
surprise entertainment. Contact the Imperial Court for more
information, 212-627-1969.
And... That's All Folks!
Anyone catch RuPaul on Regis and Kathy Lee? A 7 foot
queen on national TV at 9:40 in the morning? What's the world coming
to? She sang "I Can't Get Enough of You." It seems the country just
can't get enough of her. Regis and Kathy Lee looked minuscule next to
Miss Charles. They almost needed a ladder to shake her hand. As Bob
Dylan once sang.... ahh, you know the tune. See ya next month honey
bunnies.
Comments, criticisms, and gift certificates may be sent to
The Diva at
anytime.
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