Transgender

Forum













%expand(%include(D:\http/ads/ads0.html))

By Julie Freeman


Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie is a regular colunnist for the DVG newsletter and has also contributed to the ETVC newsletter, Tapestry and the Femme Mirror. Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995. Her e-mail address is julie39@ibm.net. She may also be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or by snail mail to DVG, PO Box 272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885 .

Sharing

Recently I had the opportunity to visit with a long-time college friend whom I had not seen in quite awhile. She very innocently asked me how I was coping with the "empty nest syndrome" and almost without thinking I blurted out, "Do you know anything about crossdressing?" and proceeded to tell her how my life had changed in the last few years. Belatedly I remembered that she was very conservative, but she reacted very well to my announcement and seemed to have no problems with it. It made a very interesting and enlightening afternoon! I felt closer to her than ever although we talked of many other things, particularly our college days.

Then even more recently I was visiting with a neighbor who I thought might have noticed crossdressers coming and going on occasion. She had no idea and so once again I found myself spending an interesting and enlightening afternoon! Seems I had no idea what was going on in HER LIFE either as she proceeded to tell me about people coming and going from her house whom I had never noticed.

In both situations I discovered that these ladies were supportive and understanding but not unduly curious. In fact, they asked very few questions. I found myself wanting to talk much more about crossdressing than they. They were curious but not overly. Crossdressing would not affect them and as long as I was okay with it, then so were they.

I guess many of us expect some kind of dramatic reaction to our announcement and when the reaction is subdued we are sort of surprised. I also expected lots of questions and was, frankly, disappointed to find there were so few.

Perhaps this is because crossdressing is no longer IN THE CLOSET as it once was. There is more knowledge and information available so it should not be an unexpected reaction that our friends and relatives are aware of the phenomenon, whether or not they may be supportive.

It is definitely a positive experience to share such a vital part of onežs life with friends as long as one knows these friends can be trusted to keep this information confidential. This is not the sort of information to be shared with those who tend to blab without regard to an individualžs privacy nor with those whom you would be uncomfortable knowing.

(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)

TGF's Home Page