By Melody Griffiths
As you may have been told, it is a good idea to shave your face up, and not down. This is true -- however, your upper lip is a different story.
Usually, the hair here is held into the skin a bit more loosly than on the rest of the face. If you shave upwards on the upper lip, you are liable to rip the hairs right out of your lip -- then it will bleed. Then, when you coat it with makeup, you're chancing getting infections in the follecules that you just opened.
Eventually, your upper lip will look like road pizza -- and no amount of electrolysis will fix that. Do yourself a favour, and don't do it. You may not get your lip as smooth as you'd like it, but when you lump a layer of makeup on it, it won't make much difference. And stubble is easier to cover than a bunch of ugly little infected bumps.
On to the body: Do yourself a favour, and don't use those "Daisy" shavers for shaving your body. You may want to use them to feel more "feminine", or what-have-you, but it's not worth cutting yourself over. You want to use the best quality you can get when you shave tender areas on your body, and the best razors always end up in the mens face razors. So, use the razor you use for your face. You'll be happier.
And use soap. Normal, everyday, Ivory soap. Lather it up real good. I know, the shaving cream companies make fun of this, but soap isn't going to infect the follecules you rip open. That Skintimate stuff will, and your legs aren't going to be pretty if they get ugly little bumps all over them either. And no, you won't cut yourself, as long as you...
DON'T PUSH. I cannot stress this enough. Pushing the razor into your skin isn't going to get your shave any noticeably closer. What it will do is cut the heads off of all the little pimples, moles, existing cuts, and all sorts of other bumps on your skin -- and then you'll bleed all over the place like a stuck pig. Just glide it, and be _very_ careful with the area on the back of your knee, your knee, and your ankle. Don't even try to shave closely there; cutting your tendon really hurts.
On the rest of the body -- shave your nipples, but do it very gently. You don't want to cut it; but hairy boobs (if you have them) isn't much of a turn-on. And shave your back! I don't know how many newbies I've seen who didn't shave there. I didn't think about it, and it was embarrasing. Likely, you'll only have to shave there once a year, but it must be done. And, I'm aware you probably can't do it yourself -- get a friend to do it, or something, or don't wear low-cut dresses.
And pluck your eyebrows and nosehairs. Women don't normally have forests for nosehairs, and although we all know Brooke Shields has big eyebrows, they look good on her -- and they probably don't look good on you. At least thin them out and clean them up a little.
As for covering up -- more expensive doesn't necessarily mean better. The best stuff I've found for frequent use is Cover Girl's powder foundation. It comes in a compact, so it's not messy like the bottled foundation, it's opaque and doesn't shine, and it does a really good job at hiding beard shadow. And it's only about $7, so check it out.
If you have a really heavy shadow, then put some blemish cover on the dark areas first. This stuff is about $6. And it'l last a fairly long time. And it's waterproof too -- you can sweat right through it.
So, check it out. I've heard of people spending $40 for a little bottle of makeup that doesn't do as good a job.
Mascara is good, but don't use alot of it, and don't use it on your lower lashes unless you're planning on going out to the bar. Upper eyelashes are usually quite enough for normal days.
And try to avoid blush, and try to use a foundation a skin tone darker than your natural tone. It will help to blend out the beard shadow, and you're less likely to look like a ghost. A pale white face with pink blush only looks good if you're a mime.
However, you do need to make or break that "gender identification" test everyone does on you when you're walking around, so you don't want to underdo it either. Experiment -- and when you look in the mirror and see a female face, but the makeup isn't screaming at you, then you have it. This may take a while, but it's well worth it. The best makeup job is the one that doesn't look like you've been made up at all.
And dress your age. If you're 20, you probably shouldn't be wearing suits every day -- and if you're 40, jean miniskirts are probably out.
If you plan on doing this often, or going full-time, get some sensible flats or some sneakers. And don't worry about going to the shoe-store -- there are alot of 6'+ women with big feet too -- and if you go in "male mode", don't worry, they've probably seen it all before.
Which goes for shopping -- hey, you've probably bought clothes for your mother/sister/girlfriend for Christmas, or whatever, so the cashier isn't going to think any different if you're buying them for yourself -- unless your hand is shaking and you're sweating.
Even then, they're more likely to think you're trying to pass off a stolen credit card, or you're shoplifting. So, mellow out.
When you're out in "girl-mode", and a person holds the door for you, be gracious, say thank you, and pass through. Don't try to not take it, or stomp through -- not only will it get you noticed, but it's rude.
Make sure the rest of you looks good too. Especially your hands. You can look beautiful, but you'll get wierd looks if your nails look like you've been digging up bones in the back yard. Shave the hair off of your hands too. And when you hand money to someone, do it with your fist closed if you have big hands. And only reach out when the change is offered. Don't hold your hand out like a bellboy waiting for a tip.
People smell fear. Especially young girls. So, either take something to mellow you out before you go; think of people in their underwear -- whatever. But try to chill out. The world doesn't go around looking for trannies, and people probably won't notice you if you don't make yourself noticeable.
The Phone: If your voice isn't perfect, and few of ours are, then a few good tips are to say your name when you answer the phone. The person on the other end will get the hint. And try not to sound like you're being castrated. Raising your pitch a bit over the phone is OK, but it isn't cool to sound like Mickey Mouse. Bodily Noises: Try to swallow your burps. Don't hit your chest after you burp. If you must let out a loud fart, go to the washroom. Or at least get up and walk somewhere. When you sneeze, sneeze without verbalizing it. And for god's sake, don't pick your nose!
I hope these little tips will be useful for you. There's more that you'll discover with experience. Hopefully, this advice will make the bumps a little smoother along the way.
If you have any questions about any other tips and tricks, or you just want to drop me a line, e-mail me at ua770@freenet.victoria.bc.ca, or check out my homepage: http://chrysalis.home.ml.org
Melody Griffiths is a 22 year-old pre-op transsexual living full-time in
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. She is a musician, a keyboardist and
composer who loves cats, kids, flowers, and art of all forms. She can be
mailed here -- or check
out her Back to Transgender Forum's home page