Dear Rachael,



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I
need your advice. I am a 32 year old TG. I want so badly to begin transition MTF, but I have two problems.


The first is that I come from a very conservative family - one that would not understand my position in the least. However, I still love them and remain as close as I can reasonably be. Eventually, I would like to move so that I might gain my freedom, while not causing too much pain for them.

Which brings me to problem #2. In addition to working full time, I currently attend the college of my dreams and will graduate in 2 ½ years :). But...the wait seems so long. I've seen a psychiatrist and she was willing to get me started, but I am not ready to do it where I live and she is soooo expensive. Therefore, I decided to move slow, but I wanted to get started...so I bought Evanesce, Feminol, and Melatonin from "The Phoenix Project." Have you ever heard of them? I hope so.

Anyway, do you think i am doing the right thing? I want to begin...I cannot wait, but I refuse to give up school. I feel that I am losing time - I really want to be happy soon. I suppose that you have read enough and I would be grateful for any advice you give. Thank you so much!

Lots of Hugs,
Elise

Dear Elise:

The first of your problems is probably the most difficult to deal with. It will be difficult for you and for them. There is no right way to "tell." What has worked for one will not for another. But there are things that don't seem to work well.

Don't surprise them and don't let them find out from a third party. The "in you face" method is most always disastrous. Letting them find out from another spell betrayal of trust. The gentle approach is far superior. Tell them a little, give them time to adjust and develop questions. The, "guess what dad, I'm going to have a sex change" is too much all at once. It is far better to share your gender dysphoria as just that and include your strong desires to be a woman. Mixed with the knowledge that you are seeking professional help to clarify these issues in your mind( which you must do to go through SRS ), will ease their acceptance. I think you get the idea.

If your father (or other male relative) is really a "man's man . . . super macho" that person may never understand nor want you around; some females feel the same way. My experience is that these types are rare, though . . . as rare as those who will say things like, "great! I always thought you would make a better woman than a man." However, there may be some comments made to you by those who are told that they always considered you a very gentle person. You know the personalities of your relatives and I do not. Just be prepared but push for letting the truth be known by those you love.

Problem number two is easier. If at all possible see the psychiatrist and go for hormones if prescribed for you. It will take about three months for the psychiatrist to consider you a SRS candidate . . . at the earliest. Do I know of the Phoenix Project, Evanesce, Feminol, Melitonin, etc.? Yes! I am very familiar with some people who use those products. Will they give you the same effect as hormones? No! Do they work? Yes in a limited fashion, particularly Evanesce! It can lower your testosterone level to a little lower than that of a male. You may develop "Breast buds" and your breasts may become very tender. But this will take a couple of years and you most likely will not come away with sizeable breasts. Your Testosterone level will still be far above that of a female.

Your best bet is the hormone route if you are truly a SRS candidate. It, in itself is a long process. It will take several years to really realize the maximum benefit of Hormone Regimen Therapy (HRT); think how long it takes a young girl to develop. It will give you the effects that you are looking for.

Rachael

Dear Rachael:

I am a 44 year old CDer (possibly TS) with a very understanding and supportive spouse. I have always hated my body hair and am currently undergoing electrolysis to thin out my beard. My spouse also allows me to shave my body hair during the fall, winter, and spring months. I recently read in one of her health/fitness mags of a drug that is used in the treatment of prostate problems. This drug, I don't recall its name, also tends to reduce, thin out, and make lighter female (and I think male) body hair. I have unfortunately lost the article. Do you have any knowledge of such a drug? Can it be prescribed to CD's/TS's to reduce body hair? What are the side effects and dangers? I would appreciate any info you can give me.

Paige

Dear Paige:

I have never heard of such a drug. Taking female hormones can make some of your body hair finer, but it would be a huge mistake to take that medicine for that purpose. But I will do this. I am throwing the question out to all of our readers. Has anyone heard of such a product? Answer to:

RachaelDettmer@compuserve.com or here on TGForum.

Rachael.


Got something on your mind? Would you like to talk it over with Rachael?
Drop a line to Rachael and she'll help you as much as she can.


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