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© 1996 Transgender Forum
March - April 1997
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Topics: Is Spirituality important to you? Is crossdressing just an obsession?
If you equate spirituality with religion I would have to say no. If you
equate spirituality with a belief system I would say yes. I find things
in many different places that contribute to my belief system. It might
be in a religion, nature, other human beings. Spirituality could very
well be that which makes us different from other animals in that we can
put our faith into something that gives us comfort in times of need and
strength in times of crisis. Something that most TG people know about.
Lori
YES!!! Very much so. Unfortunately, I missed the space ship and landed on Hale-Bopp instead.
Very nearly froze my buns off and had a hell of a time getting back home.
bevtvtots@aol.com
Absolutely! As a Christian, I tried holding God at arm’s length from Diane. Pretty silly, since God’s
Grace and Spirit has gotten me through job loss, a son hit by a car flying 15 feet, and confronting my
daughter’s rapist. A sister showed me that I should pray for what God was trying to teach me, instead of
fighting and ‘praying against’ my feelings. I learned that to God IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT I
LOOKED LIKE (you can read Matthew, Book 6, Verse 25 and following), I was emulating people who
were collaborative, building each other up, as Scripture teaches, and God had a purpose for me. Don’t
listen to those that say you have no place in God’s house. The Master says "EVERYONE who will
acknowledge me before men I will acknowledge before my Father in heaven". Love to all in Christ.
Diane A. Zahn
Absolutely!! I am a believer. I don't think I would be here right now if not for heavenly intervention. I am a Christian and proud of it!, and I beleive that my faith and prayers were answered. I've a Home Page with a (somewhat) more detailed account of this statement.
I do think that God is working in my life, and I encourage anyone that is troubled about their spirituality as it relates to their personal TG issues to check out some of the links on my page to Chrisian TG support places (PLEASE FEEL FREE TO VISIT!! NOT LIMITED TO CHRISTIANS!! *SMILE*)
Robin Elizabeth Leigh
My personal spirituality plays a big role in my life. Wicca, the religion I practice, is based around the worship of the Earth Goddess. More importantly, Wicca is centered around the feminine as divine. Unlike most of the major religions, which in my opinion are misogynistic in so many ways, Wicca encourages the feminine and encourages men to explore their feminine sides as being exploration of the divine. Due to this philosophy and to the contact I have made with the universe I am able to cherish Laura as a vital part of myself and to incorparate her into my daily life. As a result I have become more in tune with myself and with nature and am at peace.
Laura
Laura (nj)
My coming out as an open crossdresser also reawakened many other instincts,
including the question of "higher being". I believe in a deity, defined by
the Holy Trinity of Christianity. I do not believe in the Christianity that
is defined and defiled by other human beings who instill their own prejudices into their
interpretations of Scripture. Choose to find and listen to clergy who
speak of a Lord who loves us, as he loves all of his creations, and not clergy who teach hatred and
shame. Transgendered people are loved by the Lord I know, and are not sinner
because of how they may present themselves to society.
Anne Casebeer
At this point in my transformation, I don't really know what I beleive. If there is a god, how could he let me be born male when I was really female inside. If there isn't a god, then I have to give in the the reality that nature makes mistakes, as we all do. I'm about half way to completion of my transformation to female. It's very tought trip, not for the tg who has not considered all the alternatives. Every day the drugs and hormones play hell with ordinary everyday body functions. But recently my breasts were finished, and I do admit although it was painful, it was worth it. If nothing else, we need to believe in the spirit within us all, that is what get's most Ts people through the darkness.
Jamie Ritter
Yes!!!! Totally, since my emergeance, my spirituality has played a part in my life daily.
I am very grateful for what this path has given me, it has sparked my True Spirit
and allows me to fully exist.
Renee Elizabeth White
Oh, yes, God is the very center of my life. Hooray! It's funny - God has the
same problem lots of transgendered people do. Lots of people decide in advance
there's something wrong with the transgendered, based on third-hand information
and old, false assumptions. If they would just go directly to the transgendered
and talk to them with an open mind, find out for themselves who we really are,
they might really like us. God has the same problem...
Jade
On that fateful day of judgement, when I stand before Him will I be male or female. He who knows every thought and action will ask for my accounting. What shall I say? I liked panties more than Boxer shorts?
Barbara
What came first the chicken or the egg. For me my transgenderism
may have caused me to be more spiritual than I would have been if
I had not been transgendered. For the first place and maybe like
most of us, I would cry at night for God(HP) to make me a girl.
On the other hand I would pray to HP to cure me of this need to
be a girl because I also wanter to be a normal boy and not have
these "sinful" thoughts and desires. Recently I was rejected for
a heart transplant becuase of some unknown pulmonary disease that
can't be diagnosed because of the need of a biopsy and general
anaesthesia my be the end. (I not waiting for a UFO either). Any in
this time of forced retirement and disability and the mircles of
pharmacology I regained a good deal of my strength. I am spend-
more time dressing and praying. I am enjoying life more as a
woman on the loose than ever before. I am also finding that HP
takes care of girls like me. Pray for me. An old drag from the
early past of movement. When Virginia did look like the girl that
opens this wonder WEB site.
Janet D.
Spirituality? Perhaps. Religion? Most certainly not. There is no empirical proof of the existance of a god or higher spiritual being. Religion to me is just another man-made tool used by the ruling classes to keep the "underlings" docile and in-line. Promising pie in the sky eternal happiness in exchange for not rocking the boat on earth is, to me, a rather brilliant strategy if you are a member of the elite classes. I believe in myself. Period. I really don't care if there is an afterlife, and in fact, quite hope that this is all the life there is. While I try to live a highly ethical and moral life, I do not subscribe to the theists' view of god worship. With no proof of the actual existance of a god, it would seem to be a real waste of time and energy to go through the motions of god-worship. A lot of this is just ancient superstition. I don't buy a word of it.
For me, spirituality consists of living my life as I see fit, making my own moral choices and accepting the consequences of my choices.
Mary Beth Cooper
My life is founded on a Spirit of unconditional love.
I rejected this, when I grew a beard instead of breasts.
I felt abandoned and railed against this curse.
How could I be made so wrongly!
But even rejected, the Spirit waited for me to grow and learn.
I survived long enough to find the Spirit waiting.
I return to my premise. I feel cherished. What a joyous gift,
to break out of my shell, to emerge a womyn.
I suppose you could say my answer is YES!
Marilyn Lee
Spirituality has always played an important role in my life. I knew from an early age that
I was "different" and I came to believe that a life of spiritual discipline would "cure" me.
After many years of meditation, traveling around India, and living in the company of a
spiritual master I was "cured" - cured of the delusion that I had to live the way others
wanted me to. After years of frustration I finally accepted my TSism and started my
transition. The change in me was profound. I experienced a sense of happiness and
freedom that had eluded me for so long. I've been on HRT for 15 months and I'm now in
the process of coming out at work and very happy. This is my true spiritual path.
Amanda G.
Spirituality is centrl to my life as a transgender person, I know 2000 years ago my role in society would be that of shaman/priestess, this knowledge has kept me going on those dark days.
My perception of spirituality is rooted in my transgender outlook, I like many others ,
have been dressing since the age of 4. I went to church every Sunday, but I have come to believe that my trans nature is sacred to the goddess.
I don't require a sex change, if I had been born female(I wish I was) I would still be a crossdresser. We have existed ever since humans have evolved into a
social species. We have been around long before the medical establishment developed a method of changing a penis to a vagina. We have a role in this world and I after so many angst filled days
have been able to reconcile my position with the understanding that the goddess has chosen me to exist betwixt genders. I am sacred to the GODDESS and shall not want.
Michelle
Spirituality is vitally important to me. The incredible love I feel all around me in the
universe can only be explained by an Unconditionally Loving God. Before I was aware of the
love, I was blind to it, and obstinately refused to have anything to do with God. With
some growing, and with finding a spiritual community that is supportive of growth, I have
relaxed my filters and let love in. As I cam to love myself more, I could feel much more love
all around. If not for spritual growth, I would not have had any emotional growth, and I
would still be stuck in denial about my gender. So, yes, Spirituality is important.
Tim/Tammy
I have my own personal relationship with God. I feel he has taken care of me all of my life. I don't feel right going to church and never have been bapitized. I went to Church when I was kindergarten age and hated wearing the pants, shirt etc back then. I know if most Christians knew how I felt, they would at the least critize me very badly. I don't understand how the Bible can say thou shalt not wear that which pertains to the opposite sex. I justify this by telling my self it pertains to me. I have lived my life to satisfy society, I feel I lost a lot of my life by doing this. When I die I want to be buried in femme and ask God why? I don't feel as though I am a male or female. How can I be living as a male, liking feminine things and ways.
tamela@hotmail.com
Hi, I truly love dressing as a girl in the prettiest clothes that I can. I am straight but often wish I had been born a girl. Nevertheless, I realize that dressing pales in importance compared to knowing where I am going to spend eternity. For this reason, spirituality does play an important role in my life and I believe that the forgiveness of sins is found in having a personal relationship with Jesus...While Christians have not always been open to the TG community, it does not invalidate the fact that through Jesus we are reconsiled to God. I am glad that Jesus loves me in spite of my frailty and look forward to being with Him at the end of life's journey. Please E-Mail me if you like to chat about spiritual things. Love, Judigirl3@aol.com
Judigirl3@aol.com
To Lori,
I couldn't have said it better! We grew up in the same era although I'm now 60. The Christine J story when it broke was nearly a life saver for me. At lsat I knew that, 1: I wasn't crazy, and 2: that I was not the only boy inthe world who, from his very earliest memroies, felt and believed he was a girl trapped in a boy's body! I was not yet four years old when I told my parents that and that my name was Suzy. They ignored it and a few years later I went into the closet and just emerged here at TGF last June. I too spend 20 years in the USAF and another 20 with a major corpoarion after that. It was only after I retired from that that I finally felt free to become who I was always meant to be. I am now doing electro, therapy, and HRT. I can finally be who I was always meant to be for whatever years I have left. My family and friends finally know about, and accept, who I am and we remain very close. I hope things will go/have gone as well for you as they have for me.
Susan Ashleigh Thatcher
I believe my answer to this weeks question is yes. For myself, knowing that the Good Lord has
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all his children, is a true blessing. To know that a true child of God us
Unjudgemental, and unconditionally loving brings my Spiritual side home. I have come to the conclusion that the
HOME.... is where I am comfortable, and I am comfortable in the loving world of transgender's.. we are all God's children, I believe.
It is hard for me to concieve a God, that is only good and loving, to those that dress, and conform, to what society says is right...
HUGS>> to all... Debbiee
Debbiee
I find that for me my desire to express femininity is related to my spiritual development.
I would be interested in knowing how many others have the same connection.
I am a hetero-sexual cross-dressing pagan. I see myself as a priestess not as a priest.
Daria
Daria
If by spirituality you mean a belief in God I'd have to say yes. I
believe in a higher being even though I question why he gave me the
wrong body ay times. HUGS
Phyllis
No, not at all. I am myself. A free thinking person who believes in people and life.
Terrianne
NO!!!
Andrea
Allison, Tina is 100% correct. This is the greatest asset in my life. To be with all of these lovely ladies and have their help. I could not make it through the day with out this forum. My deepest love and thanks to all that make this possible. I hope that one day I can be a help to another sister. Love, Terrianne, Jacksonville, Florida.
Terrianne
Allison:
You have found the way to a great chat room right here, the fourm is great and
well worth the price of omisson, I been here for a few months now, and can say
you will never meet a nicer bunch of ladies, and as a bonus, a lot of reference
material, and other goodies. As they say on TV (thats televison of course) this is an
unsolisited unpaid testamonial, from a very happy member, it is a very suportive atmosphre
and open to new members, because no one stays a stranger long, on the forum. I have gone on to long,
but like most of the members, I have found more here on any given week, than I ever did in my whole life, of information and support, with a lot of understanding thrown in.
Love to all the sisters, thanks for making it so.
Tina ( who can't be here near as much as I would like)
Hi! I have a question: does anybody out there know where to find
women's rings in larger sizes? My male self has a wedding band; when
in femme role I should have an engagement ring as well. The local
jeweler and Penney's catalog have women's rings only through
size 9-1/2, but I'm about a size 12.
Any ideas?
lauren
I'm doing some work in the New York Area with my Church,
to start a Sunday Mass for people that are CD and TS and the rest of God's Children
I'm looking for some input on your lifestyles as women and man.
May the Lord Bless you and keep you!
May the Lord let his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you!
May the Lord look upon you kindly and give you
Peace!
God Bless
Father Mike
Father Michael
Yes It definately can be an obsession if you let it There have been several times in my life where I felt like it was getting out of hand I had to get back reality and get on with living. If your spending all your days in your room/home in a dress and not gettingout for what ever reason then yes it is an obsession If your dressing and getting out and leading a full satisfing life either in drag or drab then it is not. I think it is imperative to keep all things in moderation.I have seen lots of people take things to an extreme and thenit becomes an obsession. Be it dressing, running, or evan working. Allthings should be balanced
Sallee
I don't consider it an obsession. I think that if you are free to do what you want, dress how you want to dress whenever you like it is not an obsession. It becomes a natural part of you and your way of life. It is only when you have to repress an activity that it will become an obsession. The inability to do what you want and need will lead you to constantly think of it and desire it. It is only after I dress that I encounter my obsession.
Hi! I have a question: does anybody out there know where to find
women's rings in larger sizes? My male self has a wedding band; when
in femme role I should have an engagement ring as well. The local
jeweler and Penney's catalog have women's rings only through
size 9-1/2, but I'm about a size 12.
Any ideas?
lauren
Dawn
It's only an obsession to crossdress if I CAN'T. Then, the question "when
can I" occupies an unhealthy place in my mind. I once went 5 months without
being able to dress, due to work and family obligations, and I nearly killed
myself. I now get out in the world, either to eat out, shop, or to SG's,
about 8-10 times a month, and love it. It doesn't occupy my mind, I just
go for it when I can, and can do so without problems now.
Anne C.
When I look in a mirror, I do not see the person I feel like in my mind. It has always been this way. My mental picture has always been of a female person so I avoided looking in mirrors because I did not see her there. When I would dress as the person I beleive I am, my ex and parents and family members were very disapproving and I would purge and quit for a time. I would obsess. Now I am single and allow myself to dress as I feel. I no longer obsess. It was only during the times of oppression that the need to be myself became obsession.
Larissa
Being transgender is not an obsession for me. For me it is to face my true self. I have always seen myself as a female. This feeling I can date back to grade school. As it is I'm just starting to feel comfortable about my female side, and just now coming out. In a way, I wish it was just an obsession, then I could put it a side. But I'm a Transexual wanting a female body, and it does not make things easier. Thank you.
Tori
This deals with last week's question about telling your children.
From years and years of agony, and from observing friends who have
done so in the past, it's easier on every body to "let sleeping dogs
lie".
In other words, if you have any doubts about telling your kids,
dont!
Helen
helend
My dearest lover for the past 10 yrs. (secretly)have been friends now for over 20 yrs. (we met in jr. high school). I love him dearly and will do anything to please him. About 3 months ago he asked to wear my spiked heels, make up, garters, etc. Which is fine, but I'm not sure what role he wants me to play etc. what to do. He's kinda shy about this and I'm not sure how to play. Any suggestions would be aprreciated.
Thanks
janet
I have been told that Betadine Gel is in short supply and may possibly be discontinued. Best wishes to everyone :)
Susan Parker
The subject this week struck a nerve in me. In Colorado now there is a lot
of discussion about same sex marriage. Whenever I hear people saying that we
have the choice to be gay, lesbian or transgendered I begin to froth at the
mouth. Is there no way we can ever educate society in general to understand
that these are not life decisions we make to be the way we are? I am 56
years old. I grew up when there was almost no readily available information
on the subject of being transgendered. I didn't realize what I was until
later in life. I do know that I thought Christine J. was the luckiest person
in the world when I read of her transition. I was about 11 years old and
knew that I would rather be female than male.
Am I making that decision
without any real information at that age without any direction except what
was inside of me? If I instinctively know that I am female in my heart,
where is the choice? I don't remember ever waking up one day and saying to
myself "I think I will become a woman". How absurd that anyone would believe
that is possible. Why would I choose this life that is so full of pain and
despair that many of our brothers and sisters have found suicide preferable
to living as we must? I have gone the whole route of marriage, military,
children and career only to dump on my wife of 35 years the secret that I
have been harboring during my entire adult life. Some obsession!! Can
anyone understand the isolation that one feels as a TG person in this
society? I have spent many a lonely hour filled with tears because I was not
like all the other "men" and knew that I never could be. Living with guilt,
sneaking around just to try to be yourself. Some obsession!! Even today,
with all the gay pride movement and all the information on the web about TG
issues we are not understood.
Those in conservative circles stand back and
say that we are making a choice about what we are doing with our lives. How
dare they! How can they profess to know what is inside of me. If they could
see inside, they would see a kind, compassionate human being who is trying to
survive on a day-by-day basis. If they could have been with me the many
times when I was on the edge of suicide, perhaps then they could finally
understand that this is not an obsession. It is MY LIFE; it is the hand I
have been dealt and must play out. All the laws and all the rules, written
and unwritten, that they say I must follow do not work. I can no more choose
to be straight than they can choose to be TG. Perhaps some day "their
society" will be secure enough in its belief system to know that they have
nothing to fear from me and that if I can be tolerant of them, they can be
tolerant of me.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent.
Lori
i am new to the net are there any chat rooms for TS and how do i get there.
please email me!
Allison
Hmmm, an obsession, my recent SO seemed to think so. Hi all from London! I'm here on business and from a british point of view, this whole question has no meaning. I've only had a little time to see the clubs here in London, my work keeps me busy. It would seem that the brits look at this whole scene with a "why not" attitude, and so should we in America. As one of those people making the altimate change from man to woman, I hear all to often that we should satisfied with what were born as, b-----t! The more research I've done into "why", the more I have become convinced this is a question of Hormonial Error that occured during gestation. Somehow those genetic codes become scrambled and in a last ditch effort to become one or the other, we come out male with an excess of female hormones. It's that point that makes people transgendered.
We know something is not right, we feel more female than male, yet were strapped by a society that frowns on males with female expressions. For myself, I'm halfway to female, the first surgery is done, my chest looks, sways, and feels entirely female. Transgender is not an obsession, it's a natural feeling of what's right!
Jamie Ritter
Jamie Ritter
Dear transgender forum
Gabrielle is my name 27 years old.Lived my life as a woman for the past
20 years but I have not changed myself completely.I am engaged to a man
already, I just want to say that the Transgender forum is the best page
there is. Thank you Love/Gabrielle
Gabrielle
The French philosopher Descartes("I think therefore I am") defines himself and therefore us as an "unextended thinking thing". He defines his body and therefore our bodies as an "extended unthinking thing". If he is correct, and I belive he is, then I cannont possibly be a woman in a man's body. This would seem to make my feelings of transgenderism unreasonable and therefore an obsession. Unfortunately, in the same manner that Descartes' arguement precludes being a woman in a man's body, it also precludes being a man in a woman's body or a woman in a woman's body or man in a man's body. This makes opposition to the transgendered arguemnet equally fallacious. To keep the arguement short (it could go on forever) it's for me to decide who I am and what I should be.
Ericha
I used to equate my crossdressing with escapism. There would be a few minutes
of bliss always followed by a let-down. I thought that I was focussing on the
impossible to avoid whatever. I still have ups and downs; but I'm on a positive,
sustainable course. The difference between then and now was opening up to
my wife and finding this forum. Support, even reluctant support or remote
support, makes all the difference. I suppose aging helps too. Ok I can stop
getting older now.
Katrin
To continue- I find that my crossdressing satisfies me deepol;y, filling me with joy and satisfaction. I am even satisfied for a while. (The drive is cyclical.) Hence, I don't think it is truly compulsive behavior.
Sofronia Anne strong
As I understand compulsive behavior it does nothing to satisfy the person doing it. That is to say, the compulsive hand-washer is never eonviced his hads are clean, and isn't really washing them to get them clean to start with. The repetitive behavior never satisfies.
Sofronia Anne Strong
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