Counseling The Partners of Crossdressers

Elaine came to see me because of rage and frustration with her husband Eddie who is a transvestite. She refused my offer to meet with them together first and then individually. At our first meeting I learned that Elaine believed crossdressing was a bad habit, although not an illness, and therefore did not see the need for counseling for her husband. She however, came for help in dealing with Eddie and helping him to get over this habit. The above scenario is not unusual although there are several variations on the theme of trying to change one's partner. There is the mental illness scenario, the one that involves sin and redemption, and the one which confuses sexual orientation and gender identity and may cause a partner to doubt her heterosexuality as well as that of her spouse.

What all these situations have in common are:

In counseling the partners of a CD, I address the above issues and any individual concerns that are raised. Dealing with children sensitively and with primary emphasis on what is in the children's best interest often is a focus of treatment. Arranging for sufficient privacy to process what is occurring between them, becoming reassured of husband's discretion, and establishing fair rules surrounding costs involved in husband's purchase of clothing and membership in gender organizations, are some of the variety of concerns specific to certain but not all couples.

Dr. Anderson is a therapist in the San Francisco Bay Area. She can be reached at 415-776-0139.


© 1997 by Barbara Anderson & 3-D Communications, Inc.


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