I'm a 22 year old cross dresser. I very much need people to talk to who are very much like me. I haven't been able to find any help professionally. The shrinks just nod their heads and repeat what I tell them. If you know of anyone in MI or have any information on what I should do, please information back. I'm tired of the pain I feel inside.
Dear Jaime:
You know that I have already e-mailed you with information, but I am taking this opportunity to post your message here as well so others can benefit. So, all of you that could have written this note take heed. If you make it this far, i.e., the TG Forum, you are almost home and there is support and understanding if that's what you want. The "Web" has given you the opportunity to reach out like never before. Look around on this forum for support groups near you. Join this forum to meet and have conversations with ladies just like you. CompuServe and America Online have channels just for us. I have met many people over the years and many are what I call very close friends, today . . . you know, the ones that your can cry with or for. It is a wonderful feeling.
Get on the web and look for I.F.G.E, International Foundation for Gender Education. Here again their resources are vast. Not only will you find friends, local organizations in you area where you can out "dressed" to socialize, but you will be able to find counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. who specialize in trangendered issues. No more having to deal with the professionals who don't have a clue! There is a plethora of written material available through I.F.G.E. as well as local groups.
. . .and beyond what's good for your mind, you will find recommendations for places to go to buy clothes, large sized shoes, wigs. . . some by catalog, some in person (either mode of dress).. How about electrolysis? Yes there are places that welcome gender folks. Some organization even list places to go for entertainment, cross dressed ( Restaurants, etc. ) So you see, there are a lot of folks out there in the community at large who would be more than happy to help. And, it all starts here on the Web!!!!
Rachael
ear Rachael:
Message One:
This is a first for me. . .I've been a cd {closet} for 10 yrs. My SO does not mind as long as it's kept in the house, we do go for a ride at night but the fear of getting caught is great for both of us. well, i mention a support group and my so got real mad about it. RACHAEL, I'm just not happy to do this way anymore. I need someone to talk to about my feelings and it's tearing me apart.
Message Two:
I wrote to you a couple of days ago. I'm 52 yrs old and have been cd for 11 years, My wife of 22 yrs is putting up with it in the house and then we may go for a car ride which we are scared of getting caught, It got to a point that I just don't care anymore what people think. I would like to join a support group, but my SO really gets mad at the mention of a group. She can't call me my a femme name ,which I asked her to. Guess I should be glad she let me CD but I'm finding out that I need to talk to someone else because I'm ashamed of enjoying CD as much as i do. AS long as I can think back {grade school} I"ve wanted to cd it really helps relieve the stress. .I feel bad because this is the first time I'm going against my SO, I can't help it. Thanks.
Tiki
Dear Tiki,
I got you original hon, just hadn't had a chance to get back to you. I've "been there, done that" is what I can say to you. When I came out to my wife of 22 years in 1988 . . . I was 49, she was initially tolerant of the "idea' but would run and puke if she even saw a picture of me as Rachael. That and other things lead to our divorce which I did not want. Since, I have remarried to a woman who knew up front and life got much better for me.
Your feelings will not go away . . . if anything they will probably get stronger, tho you may never turn TS. I am very TG now and live the better part of my life en femme . . . except for work and then that's androgynous. Counseling may help you and particularly your SO to understand all of this but will not necessarily save you marriage.
Yes, dressing helps with the stress but what I came to realize is that being male was my greatest source of stress. I hated what I saw in the mirror unless it was Rachael. Now when I look in the mirror at myself (Rachael) I say YES, this is who I mean myself to be and I feel congruous, in sync, sexually and in my mind.
Surely, I should have been born female. No such luck! Sexual orientation? Well, I guess I am a lesbian because I still like women (doesn't mean that I don't fantasize though). Will I ever go thru with "The" operation? I don't know and do not have to decide right now. So you see, your not the only "crazy" out there. Smile! Remember though, crazy may equate to "happy and well adjusted." It's just "society" that likes to label those who are different!
Rachael