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Bi Women Are More Fun

By Diane Kaye

I had heard from some of my sisters in our local TG group about the local Bi Women's groups and how they were very accepting of we "Transwomen", as they called us. I got a point of contact and decided to see if Anne Marie and I could attend one of their outings.

After an E-Mail to one lady explaining who I was and indicating that I was a member of the transgender community, I got a response that their get-togethers were only for women, and that they used the term women broadly to include we "Transwomen". At that Anne and I made plans to attend. The outing was at a small health food restaurant in the local suburbs. I inquired as to the appropriate dress and was told that "casual was fine, after all walking down stairs with heels is hard". With that we both choose slacks and a blouse with flats. Make up was very minimal as we wanted to blend in and look appropriate.

We arrived around the time they said they would be there and introduced ourselves to the two women who were there. The women who I had corresponded with was there and greeted us warmly. After some small talk we realized that we being treated just like any other women. Others came in over the next hour. As it turned out two of our members were also members of their group so we had mutual friends from the beginning.

Much girl talk ensued with discussion about everything imaginable. Intimate things as well as family things were discussed freely. Some of them were interested in us as transwomen, but from the perspective of how we interacted in the community. They asked if we dressed as women at home. I explained that I chose not to at my wife's request, but Anne, being transexual, did. I explained that while I was married, I really enjoyed the acceptance as a woman when dressed. As they noted, they could express their bisexuality without worrying about being noticed since they always appeared as women regardless of what they were doing, but that we transwomen had the problem of appearing as the opposite sex when dressed, which is noticeable.

They seemed genuinely interested in me as a woman. I learned that they really objected to men being there, and I could see why. Their talk was about intimate woman topics and their relationships with men and women. While we were there a woman came by and asked if she could bring her boy friend down also. A resounding NO was given.

To my surprise I learned that the lesbian community was not totally accepting of them. I told them that we have similar problems within our community.

To me it was really a thrilling experience to be accepted as a woman by these women. Some of them were married and had husbands who were very accepting of their bisexuality. Several had children also. While Anne and I did not get a chance to talk to all of them one on one we sensed their interest in us as women. Around 10 o'clock, we were getting tired so we decided to leave. As we were leaving, they asked us if we would like to join their group so we could get monthly meeting notices. We took some information and decided to first meet a few more times with them before making a decision. As Anne and I drove home we decided to offer and invitation to them to attend one of our TG meetings. I hope once they get to know us better, they will come.

It is important for those of us in the gender community, regardless of our orientation, to stand together and support each other. We are not a majority and need as much support as we can get. Some time in the future, when gender orientation is totally accepted, people will realize that this type of cooperation is what made it happen. Until next time this is Diane Kaye saying love all your sisters like you love yourself.


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