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The Vampire's Lair
Questions and Answers
Here are some more questions and answers from my e-mailbag!
Q: I love wearing dark lip colors, but when I apply them they look
sloppy. How
can I make them look neater?
A: You'll get neater results if you outline your lips with a lip
pencil that matches
your lipstick. If you can't draw a smooth line, try drawing a dot at the
top of each point on
your upper lip. Next, draw two dots on the bottom lip beneath the ones on
the top.
Outline your lips by drawing short lines between the dots and corners of
your mouth.
Apply your lipstick with a brush, working from the center of your lips
outward. Stick with
softer and creamier, not matte, lipsticks.
Q: Is it true that if you wear deep-colored nail polish every
day your nails
will become permanently yellow?
A: No. The pigment used in dark nail polish can give nails a yellow
tint, but any
damage or dicoloration to nails will eventually grow out as old cells are
replaced with new
ones. Apply a clear base coat under your darker polish to help protect
your nails. Buffing
them with a stiff-bristled nail brush and then washing with a little warm
water and soap
may help lighten the stain. Certain fungal infections can also give nails
a yellow cast. If
the nail begins to separate from the bed or becomes thick and crusty, you
may need to see a
doctor for treatment.
Q: My lash adhesive seems to have taken on a yellow-brownish hue and
smells
funny. What's wrong?
A: Ardell Lash Grip Eyelash Adhesive has a shelf life of
approximately two to
three months before it turns stale. Stale glue is inconsistent and watery.
Q: How do I remove artificial nails?
A: Try a product called Fast N Easy Artificial Nail Remover by
Nailene. The kit
comes with a bottle of nail remover solution and a small white box with
bristles lined inside
it. You pour the solution into the box and insert your hand into the box
soaking your
fingers for about 20 to 30 minutes. The solution melts the nails off your
fingertips and the
bristles help swipe away at the melted gloop.
Products to avoid are UltraGel by Cosmar Corp and 5 Second Gel Glue Remover
by IBD.
Cosmar usually has decent drugstore brand nail products, but this product
sucks. If
anyone has any luck with any of the gel nail products, let me know. 5
Second Gel Glue
Remover is supposed to dissolve nail glue so you can remove your artificial
nails. It
doesn't work. You can soak your nails in the gloop all day and your nails
won't lift.
The unfortunate thing about drugstore nail products is that the industry
isn't quite as stable
as with other beauty products. A great new method or product may be
invented one day
only to be gone the next. Often, this has little to do with the quality of
the product, but
rather has everything to do with the support for it. If you like a certain
product and you
find it useful, then buy lots of that product and tell your friends about
it. Persuade them to
buy that product, too, otherwise your favorite product may find a very
short life.
Q: What's a good look for this season?
A: Emphasize your lips. To create a perfect red mouth, a classic
look that's strong
again this season, define your lips first with a red lip pencil, then brush
on a similarly hued
lipstick. Keep your eye makeup simple. Well-defined eyebrows and a little
mascara are all
you really need. Tweeze away any stray eyebrows at the first sign of
regrowth. Try using
Revlon's new Sure Grip tweezer, which has large non-slip handles. For
mascara, try
L'Oreal's Voluminous Volume Building Mascara. It's one of the best
mascaras available
and it's inexpensive, too.
Q: What about the heroine addict look with the eyeshadow around the
eyes?
A: That look was never in. Looks like that stay on the runway
because normal
people would never look good as heroine addicts.
Q: I think I've got this makeup thing mastered. Can you give me
that one crucial
tip that will help push me over the top? I'm almost there, I can feel it.
A: The best advice I can give you in your situation is to relax.
Makeup almost
always looks better when it is applied by someone else. Why? Because the
person doing
your makeup is usually relaxed and having fun. If you want to give
yourself an awesome
makeover, you will have to pretend as if you are working your magic on
someone else.
Failing that, try setting the mood with relaxing music. I find Anita Baker
to be very good
relaxation music, excellent for makeup application. Relax and have some
fun making
yourself look beautiful.
Q: You look very sexy in your photos. Where do you buy your clothes
from?
Where do you buy your boy clothes from?
A: Thank you! Unlike many other queens, I'm not going to lie to you
and tell you
I wear only Gucci and Armani crap. I buy my clothes from every type of store
imaginable, from cheap mall stores like Express and Contempo to gaudy
stores like Gantos
to fabulous little boutiques like Smith Brothers (Clothes for Girls and
Guys) in Manyunk,
Philadelphia. As you can tell from my photos, I'm into a very simple style
of clothing that
emphasizes the shape of my body moreso than hides my flawed areas. I'm
proud of what
I've achieved through natural means and that means - please read my lips -
no hormones
and no plastic surgery! The only thing that's faux natural (as opposed to
au natural) is my
foam-padded lower torso and my breast forms!
I buy my boy clothes from department stores. I like a preppy look during
the day at my
workplace: turtleneck, sweater, and khakis. Sometimes I can wear my girl
turtlenecks
underneath my sweaters. Turtlenecks for women are usually softer than
turtlenecks for
men. This may sound like a mass generalization, however, unlike men's
clothing,
women's clothing is usually not limited to one kind of cotton. There are
some soft and
plush fabrics used in women's clothing that are just not used in men's
clothing. Women's
turtlenecks also quite a bit shorter both in sleeve length and overall
length, so a medium in
women's is usually a small in men's.
Q: How do I determine the best breast size for my body?
A: The next time you are fully crossdressed, get someone to take
some photos of
you from all angles, frontwise and sidewise. Study these photos with an
objective eye and
see if you feel your breasts are too big, too small, or just right. Get a
second opinion from
an honest friend. This is going to sound harsh, but don't trust the
opinions of anyone
whom you feel isn't very passable as a woman (some genetic women aren't
even passable
as women).
Some crossdressers are inherent perverts and simply love to look at
themselves in their
crossdressed selves, not caring how passable they are. If you are one of
these
crossdressers and you wish to someday pass as a woman, you must learn to
criticize
yourself harshly to fix any flaws you may have.
That being said, your chest and hip measurements should be within two
inches of one
another. Take a look at every well-balanced female out there. The
feminine ideal is
something like 36-24-36, 36-24-38, or 38-24-36. How well you mimic this
ideal will
determine how sexy you look, however, do not be discouraged if your body is
not within
these proportions (mine aren't and I know hardly anyone who is). What you
want to do is
to try to give yourself an hourglass shape. Padding your hips out is a
necessity for most
men.
When you first pad your hips, you may overdo it and you will look "hippy."
Attempting to
balance out a hippy figure with overly huge breasts will not help your
realism factor. Use
padding that will give you another four inches of hip measurement and
balance your figure
with breasts to match. Most crossdressers will find that a B or a C cup is
fine. If you are
very thin, then an A or B is fine. If you are heavy, then a C should
suffice. Any more is
overdoing it. A D or greater is overkill unless you are going for a Jayne
Mansfield look.
Q: Recently I got my first pair of heels. What is the correct way to
walk in high
heels without wobbling and looking awkward? Do I walk with heels in front
of toes in a
straight line, or is it side to side in a V-shaped stride? Your advice is
greatly appreciated
because I don't want to look like it's my first time wearing heels.
A: Walking in heels is a cinch, that is, after you get the hang of
it. It's not as hard
as you might think. Just start by planting one foot in front of the other.
Keep your back
straight and your head high, and step forward, first placing your toes on
the floor, then
your heel. It's what people refer to as the toe-heel technique. First the
toes, then the heel.
Normally, when we wear flat shoes, we do the opposite: first the heel, then
the toes. This
is fine when you're wearing flats, but if you're in spikes, your heels,
which will be highly
elevated, will provide you with minimal support and balance. Also, practice
wearing your
heels well ahead of the big day. Walk around the house in them, but avoid
slippery areas
like the just-waxed kitchen floor.
Would you like to learn more about Kalina? Then take a look at her fabulous
Web site!
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