By Julie Freeman


Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie is a regular colunnist for the DVG newsletter and has also contributed to the ETVC newsletter, Tapestry and the Femme Mirror. Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995. Her e-mail address is julie39@ibm.net. She may also be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or by snail mail to DVG, PO Box 272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885 .

Commitment

There is always a lot of talk in the gender community about commitment, usually about finding ways for the crossdresser and his significant other to come to terms with his crossdressing, about finding ways to strengthen that commitment that each had for the other when they first developed a serious relationship.

But commitment is not just limited to crossdressers and their partners. Commitment may mean responsibility to one's support group, to one's company, to one's family. The list can go on and on.

In the gender community, there is a definite need for commitment on the part of all members to keep their groups going. Some members, more than others, are involved in the activities of their support groups and this involves responsibility and obligation.

Unfortunately, there are members who express their desire to be active and committed, but who fall short of carrying out these responsibilities. When individuals say they will make phone calls for information or chair committees for seminars or send out notices about meetings or plan to attend steering committee meetings, they SHOULD carry out these responsibilities.

Too many times I have noticed that phone calls are NOT made, notices are NOT sent out, and meetings are NOT attended. This not only leaves unfinished business, but makes it more difficult on others, even causing the more responsible individuals to decide eventually to withdraw themselves.

Most individuals, given some responsibility, will act responsibly. Given too much to do in too short a time may cause them to run in the other direction quickly, perhaps even out of genderland entirely. Individuals should not be asked to do more than they can handle, but all should recognize the need to do their part in helping. When individuals do accept responsibility, then it is only fair to the others to fulfill that responsibility in a timely manner.

(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)


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