Coming Out to My Dad

By Anne Marie


Over the last year I've been able to speak with my sisters and their husbands about my life as a cross-dresser and that I'm seeing a therapist and have been in electrolysis for going on 18 months, but the thought of telling my father always scared me.

My father shares the responsibility of the town house that I live in as far as helping with the lease. All of my parents things and furniture are stored there and from time to time he'll stay the night, though he lives with a woman friend not far away. My parent aren't separated, my mother is confined to a nursing home with MS.

My therapist had given me some good advise on how to handle telling parents; a little at a time, and see if they ask questions, but never tell all at once. That advice is sound. A week earlier my mother had related to me that my father didn't feel that he could come back to stay at the house in the future because of my lifestyle; he'd recently discovered my wardrobe in my bedroom closet after I'd failed to turn the night table lamp off rushing out of the house late for work one morning. I'd left my closet door open in my haste.

He came up during the day for some stuff, and seeing my light was on walked in to turn the lamp off and couldn't help seeing my "real clothes". On the phone that evening he mentioned that I had a interesting lifestyle. I told him that I really needed to talk with him.

My Dad come over on Saturday as he usually does, and after taking care of some personal matters I said that I'd like to speak with him. So we sat down on the couch not far from each other and I first told him how much I loved and respected him, and that he should never feel left out of my life for whatever reason. I wanted to make him feel that he hadn't lost touch with son, or that I was shutting him out of my life.

At that point I simply and without passion told him that I'd been cross-dressing since I was in my teens and that I'm perfectly content to be dressed as a woman, and that I'm out of the house in public as a woman without any fears. It was easy once I started he just sat there with a true paternal look on his face and let me tell him about my life. He needed to know that he should never feel that he couldn't be in this house, but that most of the time I'm in femme to some degree; more femme than man.
I hoped that he would be able to accept and respect that, and he assured me that he understood, and that he loves his son. I even had the courage to tell him about my electrology treatments and how well it looks and makes me feel.. Little did I know that he'd known about me for sometime as far as the wardrobe was concerned. This he told me, and I was truly surprised. Furthermore he told me that I have excellent tastes in my clothes and shoes. Just like a woman he said. This is the real you.

Tears of joy and compassion for this happy day and his love for me flowed as we hugged each other tightly and renewed our understanding of each other. For this I thank the dear Lord in heaven. I know that for many of us this episode in our lives is most important and the outcome can be mentally and emotionally debilitating, but it can also be build a bridge to a more understanding and respectful home life and life in general. It's my intention to go full-time in the near future and knowing that I have support will be the cornerstone of that transition.


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