DOMA: Defending Your Marriage

By Phyllis Randolph Frye


Those of us who are married and want to stay that way after undergoing SRS have worried whether the new "Defense of Marriage Act" could be used to force us to divorce. Here is some advice from the executive director of the International Conference on Transgender Law and Employment Policy
T

he first thing is the acknowledgement that you have a valid marriage:

If you are in a legal marriage, where the two of you had different genitals at marriage, and if you do not fall into the usual void categories of bigamy or incest or being legally insane, and if you also do not fall into such voidable categories as underage, then you have a valid, legal marriage in all 50 states. And if one of you is transgendered and has either completed the transsexual transition via genital surgery or via long-term irreversible hormonal alteration without genital surgery as recognized by a court in your jurisdiction, then you STILL HAVE a valid, legal marriage in all 50 states.

And if neither of you wishes to file for divorce, then NO ONE, not even the state or federal government or your parents or kids or neighbors, absolutely no one has legal standing to force you to divorce. Therefore, as ICTLEP has announced and pronounced to the lesbigatr (rhymes with alligator) for over four years, you have a valid and legal same-sex marriages in all 50 states.

Second is the strategy for the lawsuit to protect your marriage: The marriage partner that files the lawsuit to protect the marriage and to declare the application of DOMA on your marriage as being both void and unconstitutional must be, MUST BE, must be, the non-transgendered spouse.

The logic is this: if the transgendered spouse files, a court could rule (just as they have in many other bad decisions in our past) that the transgendered person gave up their rights when they choose the transsexual alteration via genital surgery or via long-term irreversible hormonal alteration without genital surgery as recognized by a court in your jurisdiction. But when the non-transgendered spouse files and says to the court, "All I did was remain true to my marriage vow -- for rich or poor, in sickness or in health, until death do we part," only a judicial hernia could rule the marriage invalid. The general public, quite possibly even the so-called religious public, would not stand for the marriage of the non-transgendered spouse to be attached under such a strategy.

Third is your legal advocate (or how to pick a lawyer): ICTLEP has a small but growing directory of transgender friendly attorneys and law professors. If we have one in your area, we will provide you with that name. ICTLEP also has a guide about how to find an attorney, who will not only be understanding of who you are, but who will learn the nuances (such as those above) necessary to win in a fight over subtle, transgender marriage issues. Ask for the "Non-Lawyer Checklist for Transgenders Who Consume Legal Services", which is found in the ICTLEP Proceedings, Volume III, pp102-106, or may be ordered separately.

(We suggest that you lean on your university library and your county law library to put a full set of the Proceedings on its shelves.)

Fourth is to teach yourself so that you can demand of your lawyer:

ICTLEP suggests the following articles on transgender marriage which are in the Proceedings volumes and may also be ordered separately.

---	"Cramming Their Laws Down Their Throats", from the Family Law Project 
              Report 1992,   Ipp306-308, 314
---	Family Law Project Report 1992,   Ipp295-323;   1993,   IIpp142-150,
A10-2;  
             1994,   IIIpp86-87
---	"Legal Aspects of Transgendered Behavior",   IVpp1-5
---	"Insurance, The DSM, a New Tort, Gatekeepers, No Divorce, Apartheid of
Sex,  
              Violence, and the Non-Op Option",   IIIpp107-117
---	"Respecting Choice: Genital Surgery as an Option",   IVpp8-17
---	"Taped Speech from March on Washington",   IIpp168-171
and
---    Voir Dire for Transgender Client or by Transgender Attorney,
IIIpp103-104;   
               IVpp117-118
For a copy of the full "INDEX to Proceedings I-IV", contact our offices via e-mail or phone or send a minimum donation of $10 by snail-mail in a self-addressed, stamped ($0.78), 8x11 manilla envelope.

Beginning in August of 1992, ICTLEP has held an annual conference (with continuing legal education credits) dealing with issues of transgender law and employment policy that have been attended by both attorneys and laypersons, both transgendered and not transgendered, and both from inside and outside of the United States. Each year many of the reports and presentations are transcribed by a court reporter and are published along with other relevant documents to become that year's Proceedings.

The Proceedings are available for sale. The price per each is $65.00. If the sale is to someone in Texas, add $5.36 sales tax. If shipping is required, the shipping and handling fee is an extra $5 per each for addresses within the USA, Mexico and Canada and $10 for other addresses. All are mailed at book rate, surface mail unless other arrangements are made. We will accept check, cash or Visa/Mastercard.

Individual pages or customized selections may be ordered for $1 (plus .0825 tax if in Texas) per page (minimum order of $5) plus $3 express postage inside the United States. We will accept check, cash or Visa/Mastercard.

(NOTE: It is hoped that Proceedings V will be available in late Fall of 1996, but much of that depends upon the amount of volunteer help we receive.)


INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON TRANSGENDER LAW AND EMPLOYMENT POLICY, INC.
PO Drawer 35477
Houston, Texas 77235-5477 U.S.A.
713/777-8452
ictlep@aol.com

ICTLEP is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that needs and actively seeks your donation of whatever amount, small or large, or monthly debit of your bank or Visa or MasterCard account.


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