No, this is not a review of the cannibalistic thriller but a paraphrase of a chapter title in Kate Bornstein's book Gender Outlaw. (Thank you, R., who lent me this book because she knows how much I have to learn about the transgender situation.)
Kate writes of the silence of transgendered people who not only linger in the shadows of society at large, but do not even talk to one another. To those of you active in organizations, you may think I am preaching to the choir. After all, you attend meetings, go to parties, hold office in an organization dedicated to the support of the TG community and are not the silent ones. But there are those who dare not emerge even to the safety of such an inviting environment. Quoting Kate, "Simply saying `Come out, come out, wherever you are,' is not going to bring the multitudes of transgendered people out into the open. Before saying that coming out is an option (and I believe it's an inevitable step, one we're all going to have to take at some time), it's necessary to get transgendered people talking with one another. The first step in coming out in the world is to come out to our own kind."
What keeps transgendered people silently in the shadows? For one, fear of loss of acceptance by the dominant culture which expresses its disapproval of non-conformists by imposing numerous penalties upon those who stray from its strictures, such as discrimination on the job, in housing, custodial rights, and social stigmatization. For another, the inability to accept oneself as differing from others who have never questioned their gender identity. Language can be one's enemy as the transgender individual tries to conceptualize his/her difference and comes up with words like "freak," "deviant," or having a "condition of transgenderism," all of which have pejorative or pathologic connotations. Another reason to keep shadowed and silent is the fear of not cutting it with other transgendered people. Even the most supportive communities have members who are elitist, exclusionary and doctrinaire with regard to whom they allow into their circle. No one emerges from the shadows a finely turned out image of their experienced gender. Contempt by their own adds insult to the injury inflicted by the larger society and contributes to continued isolation and silence.
This is hardly an inclusive list of conditions mitigating against TGs' emergence. But to enumerate more of the too well-known conditions operating is to restate that which has been discussed ad nauseam. Moving on to solutions is more challenging and less frequently addressed. Tune in next month for one person's view of a better world adorned and enriched by the presence of TVs, TSs, androgynes, drag queens, she-males, pre-ops, post-ops and no-ops.
Dr. Anderson is a therapist in the San Francsico Bay Area. She can be reached at 415-776-0139. This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.
© 1996 by Barbara Anderson & 3-D Communications, Inc.