Gianna



Community

By Gianna E. Israel
©1996 Gianna E. Israel


Numerous times over the years I have heard transgender men and women state that there is no such thing as a transgender community. I also hear people frequently debate and promote stereotypes about other gender-diverse individuals. This particular article addresses concerns people have about the concept of community, and provides information about how to find accurate information about other community members.

First, I would like to share several personal reflections about our subject. I can testify firsthand that our community exists, and it contains many of the same dynamics which can be found in other minority communities. Communities have a variety of dynamics, which can include unity, purpose, connection and focus. They also have structures where people take on different roles. Like a family we have our mothers and fathers or community leaders, as well as new brothers and sisters in the process of coming out.

There are also many people who fit somewhere in the middle and take on a variety of roles which serve their needs. Some of these people are very involved in our community, while others only visit during family reunions.

There is often an abundance of goodwill and generosity within transgender community which comes as a result of our common bonds. People often do not recognize that many private dollars and hours are invested in our organizations, social functions, Internet sites and other resources. This monthly column is written on a computer donated by a community friend, and before reaching readers passes by half-a-dozen transgender men and women who volunteer copyediting, Internet site maintenance and other services.

Within our community there is also a noticeable amount of politics and divisiveness as members struggle for respect, recognition and self-determination. In the past few years there has been a great deal of name-calling or flaming other’s ideas on Internet forums. There has also been incidents involving un-businesslike behavior and political grandstanding by community leaders at the expense of others. At times, even other communities have been unnecessarily berated or attacked in order to "validate" our own.

With these type of situations occurring, it is easy to understand why some transgender men and women believe that very unhealthy dynamics exit and thus avoid seeking out community resources. After years of feeling vulnerable due to social ostracization and being painful closeting, it is easy understand why some individuals feel sensitive and vulnerable. When people feel vulnerable they instinctually avoid places they perceive as unsafe, and are also likely to feel threatened by "in your face" types of behavior. As a result these individuals unfortunately never get an opportunity to see all the behind-the-scenes commitments and positive resources which are also aspects of our community.

Having a transgender identity is a democratic process, and our members come from a wide-variety of social, economic, religious, racial and educational backgrounds. This diversity means that community members also have numerous experiences, opinions and beliefs. When taking the our community’s well-being into consideration, I encourage people to acknowledge this diversity. Doing so sets the stage for understanding other people’s experiences and needs have intrinsic value, and that disagreement is OK.

As we further attempt to understand our community, it is important to recognize one specific dynamic which exists and prevents us from accepting diversity in others. Because we are a minority group of people with special needs, this sets us apart in some respects from the predominant, non-transgender world. Being different is difficult, because it is our different-ness which sets us at risk for discrimination, violence and being stereotyped.

As we grown and build self-determination, we also frequently search for validation internally and externally. While seeking validation, it is easy to attack, disrespect, malign or marginalize other minority persons or communities in order to make ourselves and our issues appear more valid. However, doing so is wrong. If we desire self-determination and respect for ourselves we must whole-heartedly extend it to others, even if we don’t understand their experiences or needs.

As a brief example of this dynamic, many transgender persons self-identity with a label which best matches their experiences. These labels can include crossdresser, transsexual, transgenderist and many others. Other minoritied individuals have also adopted various labels and self-identification which need to be respected. For instance, gays and lesbians in most circumstances prefer not being referred to as "homosexuals." Homosexual is primarily a old-fashioned clinical term, that even in the sciences is being replaced. As such, if an individual is not gay and lesbian, then he or she does not need to refer to gays or lesbians as "homosexuals" in order to make him or herself appear more acceptable.

Involvement, is a subject worth consideration when we discuss concepts of community. As people become involved it is important to remember in most circumstances an individual should not expect to get more out of a community than they are willing to invest. Socializing and volunteering for one of the many support organizations located throughout major cities and suburbs is a classic alternative for people just coming into the community. However becoming involved does not necessarily mean one must begin or end there. Over the past 5 years the transgender community’s resources have grown exponentially.

With community growth it is now possible to join a wide-variety of discussion groups, a transgender bowling team, attend national conferences on a variety of subject, or even spiritually commune with nature in the company of other gender diverse persons. You may also become politically active by participating in activist organizations such as TS-Menace, Its Time America, or the International Conference on Transgender Law and Employment (ICTLEP). If you are uncertain whether a resource exists which suits your interests, ask community leaders if they know of such a resource. If you cannot find a resource you like in your area, start one up. If you are not interested in participation or volunteering, the majority of transgender organizations could use your financial contributions.

Community involvement can also mean transgender men and women taking responsibility for the world around them. As an example, many transgender persons participate in "Pride Parades" which show the rest of the world that the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons exist. Community involvement can also focus on local need. This past year, San Francisco’s ETVC (Educational TV Chapter) participated in televised fundraising for KQED. KQED offers a variety of educational programming to Bay Area viewers, and has included a variety of programs inclusive of transgender issues and opinions.

One of the most harmful dynamics which exist in our community are stereotypes. The word stereotype comes from the printing industry, and means to print or make something repeatedly without individual characteristics. When we stereotype people we are saying they have no individuality. Transgender people despite their diversity are often stereotyped as unstable, socially unacceptable and pathological. Within our own community, transsexuals are often stereotyped as to serious or focused on living in role, and crossdressers are frequently stereotyped as to caught up in fantasy. These and other characterizations simply cannot be applied to all transgender individuals, and it has been my experience that the majority of people have very unique traits which defy stereotyping.

One of the best ways to learn about other gender-diverse persons is to read. Not just one, but several printed or Internet resources which focus on a group of persons’ needs and experiences. Another option is simply to ask others about their experiences and needs. In doing so you may come to find that in most circumstances there will be many transgender people you have little in common with, and a handful who are much like you.

During your exploration you will also find that it is commonly acknowledged by others that transgender men and women rarely fit into stereotypes. For example, in their book "Life with Vanessa," authors Vanessa & Linda Kaye suggest that "there is no one transgendered person who is exactly as they are defined." Throughout their book they then go on to describe how they have been able to become more accepting of diversity, which has positively effected their family and community relationships.

In our final examination of community, I would like to remind my readers that the transgender community is also comprised of people who do not necessarily have gender issues or a firsthand interest in crossdressing. Specifically, I am referring to family members and significant others. Frequently while pursuing transition or dressing, we tend to forget these important people in our lives. Significant others, including wives and husbands, often are overlooked at social occasions, at transgender events and in printed literature. This should not be so for these are the very people who support our day-to-day existence with caring and compassion. Significant others and families need support and resources as much as any other segment of our community. It is also imperative we do not assume what their needs are, but rather ask. Or, if you yet do not know how to ask, read as much information about their needs as you can.

Because it is a new title, I am including "Life with Vanessa" as a resource in this article. The book is primarily written for "wives" of crossdressers. However, do not be to quick to assume that it is not of value to other partners and family members, including those of transsexuals and transgenderists. This is particularly so since the authors share their experiences firsthand as a couple with one openly transgender partner. Also, each section ends with excellent questions couples may ask in order to better understand each other’s needs. You may order "Life with Vanessa" for $10.95 + 1.50s/h from Creative Design Services, AEGIS, IFGE or with Linda & Vanessa Kaye c/o 6957 N.W. Expressway, Suite 121, Oklahoma, OK 73132


Gianna E. Israel provides nationwide telephone consultation, individual & relationship counseling, evaluations and referrals. She is principal author of the Recommended Guidelines for Transgender Care, writes Transgender Tapestry's "Ask Gianna" column; is an AEGIS board member and HBIGDA member.

She can be contacted at (415) 558-8058, at P.O. Box 424447 San Francisco, CA 94142, via e-mail at Gianna@wco.com or visit her Web Site
.
Back to Transgender Forum's home page