My Big Sister's Secrets

By Mary Leigh
Part I

My sister was a couple of years older than I and already in junior high when my parents packed us off to Missouri to live with an Aunt and Uncle. We didn't understand at the time, that they were trying to revive their marriage. They believed it would be much easier to do this without the constant attention that two, hormone screaming children had created for them. We didn't have much say in family matters so we reluctantly accepted our fate.

I remember crying the night before we left. My dad told me to "stop crying and acting like a little girl." He never seemed to show much compassion for me. Not like he did for his daughter, anyway. She must have heard him because when she saw me crying too, she told me that she "had a dress that would fit me just fine." I think that made me mad enough to stop crying for a while anyway. I remember her telling her friends many times over the years that she "wished she had a little sister instead of me."

I really thought a lot of my big sister, though. Her name was Carole and she used to let me play together with her and her friends. My own friends told me she was very pretty but I never paid them much attention. As we grew older, she didn't seem to have much use for a 'little brother' anymore.

Our grandmother volunteered to accompany us on our trip and we departed for the train station early the next morning. Upon arrival, she told Carole and I that we were going to have to share a small compartment together. I watched as my sister gave her a look of disgust. Then I told grandma that I could stay in her compartment but she insisted that I stay with my sister. She told us that we needed to be close to one another.

In our compartment, we found only a bunk bed and a small table. My sister stopped the porter from taking all of her luggage to another car. She insisted that there was enough room for one of the chests and a couple of suitcases in our room.

After as we settled in, she started complaining about wrinkles and began to spread all of her clothes around our room. She hung all of her dresses fromthe top bunk and let her suitcase open on the table. Before I new it, she had the whole place looking just like her closet at home.

Gradually, I became curious about some of her clothes and noticed how fresh and pretty they all seemed to be. Soon finding myself with nothing better to do, I began to touch some of them when I knew she wasn't looking. This seemed to inspire me with enough confidence so that whenever she started leaving our room, even if only for a few minutes, I would hold some of them up to smell their delightful freshness.

I became charmed with this new pastime. So, in natural succession, I began to stimulate myself further by holding some of them up close to my body. It seemed quite natural to permit them to satisfy this compulsion. I was enchanted with the soft and tender feeling they had given me. My imagination took over. One of her dresses even seemed to pacify an unforeseen yearning I had to feel pretty myself.

Eventually, I perceived of myself as the younger sister that Carole had always wanted me to be. I found that by holding my favorite dress up to my body and feigning her mannerisms, I could make my sister's wish come true. Even if I was the only one that knew.

Immersed with this new sensation, I found myself growing to covet the excitement I experienced whenever I emulated my big sister in this newfound manner. Ultimately, I fantasized myself 'slipping into' some of her, let's say, more intriguing garments. I knew though, I should not dare go so far to exploit this yearning I desired so much. These innocent, secretly kept experiences, would have to forever suffice.

We spent the next two days traveling through Texas and by nightfall we began to pass through Little Rock, Arkansas. I lay in my bed for a long time thinking about our new home. I wondered how long it would take to find new friends. We didn't even know how long we were going to live there. For all we knew, it could have been for the rest of our lives. My sister didn't seem to care about uprooting herself as much as I did. She told me since she was all grown up, it would be easy for her to find new friends. I guess I hadn't noticed until then.

It was on this very night that I watched my big sister undress herself for the very first time. I couldn't believe my eyes when she unwittingly stepped out of her dress and on to the cold floor in front of my bed. She wasobviously unaware that I was still awake. That was the first time I ever saw my sister dressed only in her bra and panties. It was a splendid sight to behold.

I think I startled her when I raised my head and asked her why she wore a bra. Angrily, she demanded that I stop peeking at her and go back to sleep. Then she turned off the light and I resumed watching her silhouette quickly continue to remove the last of her belongings. She lifted her arms high in the air and I watched curiously as her long silky nightgown flowed slowly over her body, all the way down to the floor.

As I lay there, I couldn't help but to wonder how comfortable she must have felt while she slept in her lovely gown. Several hours past while I confronted my feelings and desires. I knew she was safely asleep when I got up and quietly began to run my hand across the top of her open suitcase. Then just like a prize from a box, I pulled out a pair of her panties. They felt so smooth and silky as I rubbed them across my cheek.

Hesitating for a few moments, I could feel my heart begin to race as I prepared myself for what I was about to do. Then, as if to finally liberate myself, I began to remove my underwear and put on the small pair of panties. It took a number of attempts before I figured out which holes to stick my feet into.

Something inside me felt rather odd and quaintly peculiar, when I pulled her dainty panties tenderly into place. Suddenly I felt the chill of thenight air as it trickled in from the window of the swiftly moving train. Hurriedly, I continued to explore through the suitcase for something to warm my skin. Never in my life had I felt so naked and bare.

I guess it was fate that led me to unearth another one of her nightgowns. I felt myself tremble when I realized what I had found. What a prize this was. I knew it was the one that she always wore at home when only her girlfriends were around. I stood there for a moment trying to arrange it over my head. Then finally, as it swept down over my thin frame, a kind of tingling sensation instantly ensued. I was delighted when I saw myself in the moonlight. I stood by the window and marveled at the aura of my image. I wasn't cold anymore. It was certainly a feeling that I will always remember. Inquisitively, I had plunged myself into a new world of sensations. I hadstirred about something that had lain dormant within me since I had begun my life. I felt good about how I was born but at the same time, I felt a little uneasy about what I was doing and didn't understand why. I was both confused and enlightened by my new awareness. Now I knew why girls wear these lovely, sensuous garments. My clothes never felt anything like this.

So I got back into my bed and continued to imagine myself as Carole's little sister. The stimulation I felt that night, while under those sheets,is hard to define. Over and over, I asked myself why only girls werepermitted to wear these kinds of clothes. I remember lying there for a long time thinking how lucky my sister was to be the girl in the family. I felt so soft and pretty that night on the train.


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