Bulletin Board Posts

© 1996 Transgender Forum


August-September 1996

All BBS Posts are in theLibrary

Topics included Bad buys, Straight men who love TGs, Where are you on the Gender Scale? Do TVs do it for sex? Many others...


There were so many things... Panties that were HUGE!!! A miniskirt that was way too short and way too tight. A dress that made me look like the old hag that lives down the street from me!!! Most of the early dresses that I bought should have had a label sewn in them that said "corset required"!!!! And lastly, once I finally gave in and began buying "queensize" pantyhose, I could quit giving my money to L'eggs and No Nonsense and Hanes for hose that I had no business buying!! Sorry to babble!!

Deirde


I can't believe how many dresses, that I have bought, decided that they didn't fit right, and then never worn them. When I'm going out I frequently select one of these first, try it on, and switch into an "old stand-by" before I leave. I used to have a closet full of clothets that I 've have never worn out of the house. Last year I took fifty-three items to the local Salvation Army. (I wonder if there's a woman out there that might care that her clothes were formerly worn by a CD). Love to all Stephanie

Stephanie


I turn 40 years old next month. I have been crossdressing all my life. A few years ago I went on hormones and started living full time as a woman. This was a difficult and lonely exsistance. Although I had made many friends in the transgender community, I could not find that special someone. After 1/1/2 I gave up my quest and returned to my former male life. I felt like I had lost my best friend and perhaps I had. I have since contacted a very wonderful man through the on-line personals, and we have built a very close relationship. Although he is gay, he understands my feelings and loves all of me. I have made the decision to move out to where he lives in order to continue our relationship. I don't know if I will go back to hormones and try the transistion again, but I do know that I am very happy that I have found that special someone that accepts and loves all of me. Wish me luck, and love to all my sisters!

Roni


I don't know what I am. I guess I like to imitate females. I don't like men sexually. I like women a whole lot. That's why I think I like wearing stuff like that. Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks

Keri


Spending too much money on breast forms that didn't have the right bounce and were too large for my frame. Wishful thinking, I guess. I've learned a trick from two slightly built real women. I'm 6'0", and of medium build. TWO figure enhancing bras, one over the other, create the perfect bust for my size. I use a well padded non-underwire 38A below (not easy to find, but available) and a Wonderbra clone in 38B above--Vickie's Secret Miracle Bra works best. Anybody my size, try it. It works.

emily


A pair of plastic boobs with huge nipples and strap on ties - to name only one of hundreds of crazy / stupid things I have bought. Tons of heels / dresses / lingerie which dont fit - cheap make up - wigs in wrong color and length etc. etc. etc.. I have purged so often I could open up my own bank with the money I have wasted over the years ! We all want to look beautiful and we want the massive female wardrobe - so we buy everything we see that could possible make us more feminine or feel more comfortable. I have learned that it is so much better to buy from stores where returns can be made and to understand that what looks good on a real female - might not look so great on myself.But I also know that all this waste has been a massive learning experience and we all have to buy and do some "dumb" things to look better. Love Debbie

Debbie Allen


The dumbest thing I ever spent money on was two 1000Km train trips to see a doctor about SRS. He did absolutely nothing about me and I only got SRS the next year by fronting a surgeon with a cheque.

Kali


Micheal Salam Catalog!

Tina


To reply to the present topic,the dumbest thing that I ever spent my money on was hormone cream. What a fraud! After using the hole jar,I didn't see even a little increase in breast size. That was before I found the information on Transgender Forum that it doesn't contain a high enough concentration to make any effect. By the way, I want to thank all who helped with advice about my transition and how I could help my wife cope. We have agreed to stay married as long as I don't have SRS. It's a compromise,but hey, that's what marriage is all about anyway. hugs,Sheryl Lynn

sheryl lynn


A mail order wig. Wigs have to be fitted and styled to you. Now that I am comfortable with who and what I am I go to this shop where the wigs are personally fitted. The fitter knows I am TG and is verry helpful. Remember you get what you pay for. A $70 wig is not the same as a $170 one. The mail order one was tacky and we couldn't any thing to improve it. Hugs to all.

Phyllis


The Dumbest thing I have spent my money on during my TV experience is .. all the Heels I used to buy in my early years that DID NOT FIT. I was TOO in the Closet to try them on and did not know about stores that catered to transgender Lifestyles. I have Quite a Large Collection of shoes and boots now, but my early years of dressing, must have cost me $300-$400 ! Thanx and HUGS, Roxanne in Connecticut

Roxanne


Sure it's possible. I am a heterosexual man and I am very intrigued by transgenders. This admiration covers the courage of their convictions and the unique beauty of their nature. While I would never consider a relationship with another man, I am very amenable to relationships with pre-op transsexuals. It is simply the ultimate creation.

Terry


Sure it is! I'm not gay, but I'm sure happy about my contact with transgenders and have aspired to try to be as beautiful "en femme" as I could when I have (usually on Halloween). I admire beautiful females - even if they aren't born that way. If I could be more pretty myself, I would be; but, in the meantime, I'm glad just to enjoy those who are.

billi miller


Guess I will get the hang of this bbs response system sometime!

Hopefully my correct e-mail address is now included with this follow up to my earlier offerings on CD'ing and railroading!

Look forward to hearing from railroad or UK CD contacts.

Best Wishes Maggie

Maggie


I dont think it is possible to be heterosexual. I believe that men that admire transgenders are somewhat bisexual, becuase that is what the perfect women to them would be. i am a bisexual male and have had a transgendered lover. he to me was the perfect women, and other men admired her. when they found out that she was a he, they became very anti-transgendered. i believe it would challenge there manly hood.

rik ramos


Stephanie


I don't know if men who like transexuals are heterosexual or not. However,I can say that I have run into quite a few men, some married, who have expressed an interest in going out on a date with me. Many of them claim to be hetero, but are quite graphic in what they would like for me to do with them. I am a hetero cross dresser, and have never been with another man. Love to all.

Stephanie


I am a hetreo male in that I have no reaction to males (in drab) and no interest in exploring that. In my case, the attraction to transgendered MtF undoubtedly is based upon the fact that I crossdressed relentlessly from about age 8 to my mid-teens, when the paternal threats become truly ominous. I blocked any memory or thought of those years except for the rare moment when the subject imposed itself, as in suddenly finding that the chanteuse in a club was a crossdresser. My reaction was always startlingly erotic. After marriage, children and divorce, I opened that pandora's box and began socializing, then dating, transgendered babes (g).

Apart from my experience, and those of men like me, I suspect that most males who pursue T people are simply looking for a new, kinky experience, and provide only heartbreak. And I further suspect that many of those convince themselves that they are sincere.

Finally, I'm often told that males have to admit to being either homosexual or bi-sexual if they date T people. I find that odd. Since the crossdresser is spiritualy female, it seems that a crossdresser's relationship with a male would be spiritually heterosexual, and the same for the male who dates her.

God, it gets confusing!

Love to you all,

SugarD

SugarD nee' Roy


Hi; I have not had a lot of experience with guys, but I found that the three guys who claimed to be straight, who did end up on a date with me, really liked the feminine image that I presented to them. They were turned on. I concluded though that they would not really have cared who it was that got their rocks off for them, as long as she looked feminine. It would have been nice to be treated more like a feminine person, but that is another thing. Bye.

Debi Johnson


It's hard for me to picture someone who likes transgenders as being tot- ally hetero. I like them, I love to dress, and I love to make love to another guy. But I love women too. So I guess I'm saying that most of us are probably bisexual.

Scotty

Scotty


Yes. I am hetrosexual and a crossdresser and find transgenders very beautiful. Of course its my strong desire that other male hetrosexuals would see me as very pretty too.

barbara N.


andrea


I agree with all those who say we're all different. I live a straight life but am very attracted to CD and TS males, and would like to express that. Yet, even when I'm dressed head to toe as a "girl", I don't think of myself as she, and am uncomfortable when others in the community refer to me as she. I don't think I'd really feel like she even if I had SRS. We're all different.

Jem


I think hetrosexual men admire a more than passable ts becasue the ts tries harder to be the epitome of female sexuality.

Erica


As I said in my unsigned note some weeks ago, much more than a hobby though, also being a total rail nut, chasing live steam sometimes comes a close second!

Somehow though Maggie does not fit in the steam scene so her alter ego takes over and she does her thing at other times and places! Any other railfan cybertrannies?

Maggie


I believe that this is possible because although I am a transvestite, there are people who can admire us for who we are... women at the heart totally femme and chic! hugs

Andi


I alternate between denial and acceptance. I have no desire to "pass" just to dress in sexy lingerie and feel sexual. I also have submissive tendencies. I am 80% hetero and happily married but I fantasize about taking a male or she-male on. TheI noticed that these feelings only surface when I'm stressed out. Thanks, maybe I'll write more later. This feels therapeutic. (I have a lot of guilt.) a


I can tell you that when I am dressed and made up beautifully, it can cause a lot of confusion for Hetero men. I once went to a costume party dressed as a hooker. The make-up and clothes were very slutty and kind of overdone, but I looked sexy. A friend that I knew casually (male) took a great interest in me. He was fooling around, saying that he wanted to hire me for the night.

After a few drinks (probably too many)I suddenly found a hand running up and down my fishnets. He told me how much he liked my silky panties. He wanted to drive me home, which I knew would have been a big mistake. Now I know that this guy was straight, yet he seemed to admire and caress the illusion that I had created.I kind of liked it, but it was also very weird. Many guys put up this big front about how appalled they were when they found out I was a guy, yet I caught them looking at me whenever I turned around. Have any of you girls ever had a situation like this happen to you?

Deirdre


Are there any organizations which provide funding to help pay for SRS? Specifically M2F procedures. If there are how can I contact them. At this point in time, I am assuming there aren't. I want to give up and just DIE. Really, sounds sick but the world is a cold place where frozen hearts are born everyday. Is there anyone in the world who cares about this hermaphrodite freak? Most "professionals" just want your money and scarcely care about patient welfare. I live in MADISON WI. If your ever in town, visit STEEP & BREW @ 544 Stsate St. I'll be in the area for sure. It's the place where my TRUE friends are. The staff at STEEP M& BREW know me very well, They know me as Nikki or Nikola.

Anna Kukula


Why not? The whole matter of sexual attraction in the transgendered world transcends the description ability of English.

Christy Kay


Heterosexual, Bisexual, Homosexual, Transsexual,...... semantics, just semantics its all just semantics . Louise

Louise


Undeniably it is possible. Males are turned on as much by the icons of womanhood as by the reality. A well-turned leg is a well-turned leg regardless of the gender of the owner. A pretty face, attractive hair, stylish clothes, all the things we love give an impression of femininity to any male. For some the notion of otherwise forbidden sex is very appealing and specially when the package is attractively wrapped and presented. The first man I ever spent a night with had no doubts about what he was getting into (if you'll pardon the expression) but the turn-ons, the early fore-play didn't change one bit. Moreover I knew exactly what he needed and he knew that I knew. I had no doubt than and I have no doubt now that that man was essentially hetero-sexual. He wasn't seeing me as another man and neither was he treating me as one. Peta Wilson

peta wilson


One time some guys were flirting with me. I walked by them casually. Later on I ran into some girls who knew those guys. I don't remember if I told them or if they figured it out but they wanted to tell the guys. I asked them not to because they might get upset. The girls said they wouldn't. To my surprise when they found out they started asking me questions. I guess I have a tendency to be too paranoid (about more than just cross dressing). I guess if I can see myslef as male or female other people can see me that way too. Some guys will flirt with me just like they would with any girl.

Suzanna


Men admire "transgenders" for a lot of reasons. It is possible for heterosexual men to admire us - and MOST do even if they dont admit it to themselves or their friends. I do drag shows and go go dance in all kinds of erotic costumes at straight clubs in front of hundreds of "so called straight" folk - and I can tell you all this for sure. With their male friends or girlfriends most will check me out casually - but when alone - when no one is looking - those same mocho guys will be the first to slide me their telephone number and try to run their fingers up my stockings !

All I say to them is something like "do I have a sign on my back that says hooker ? " The guys I despise are the ones who tell me "this is the first time in a gay club / or I am married - show me pictures of the wife and kids etc - stress their masculinity - and offer to buy drinks etc - and then want to take me somewhere private where they can try and prove how masculine they are.

I tell them to go back to their wife - and if they are gay or bi sexual - at least be man enough to admit it to themselves. Now there are genuine straight men who do admire glamour drag queens. They admire the art and the skill it takes to entertain and "turn them on" - even if they are not physically attracted to them. It's a fact that when the TV talk shows want to increase their ratings - they bring in the drag queens. No other subject has higher viewers and it goes way beyond being curious. People love high glamour and who else but a drag queen knows what it takes to perfect the illusion ?

It's also a fact that most true gay guys are not interested sexually in female impersonators - they want "gay guys". If you ask anyone involved in the transexual escort / outcall business - you will find that the majority of their clients are "married straight educated business people" - who are looking for something different. Alot of these guys will be wearing "cute little panties and stockings under their male clothes" and that tells you something about their inner desires. When a straight guy and his wife ask me why I dress up in female clothes I ask the guy if he likes to look at lingerie photos. When he says yes - I tell him how wonderful it is to be able to dress up in ALL those wonderful sexy clothes !

We have the best of both worlds and we should be proud of who and what we are. And if we turn them on - that's great - buy me all the drinks you want to. I can work it just as well as they can ! Love Debbie.

Debbie Allen


Is the premise of the question true? Do MOST men who admire T-people... I don't know any different, just asking.

I'm a very androgynous person and I happen to admire/love/respect T-people A LOT! I do not assert that I am heterosexual; when asked I say bi/g or g/bi, with the caveat "if you have to use just one term, or one label. I know, have intimately been with, hetero men who insisted that hetero was their only orientation. I never challenged them. What's it to me/us? I think that maybe people who "insist" that they are (fill in the blank) probably have some kind of discomfort with themselves. But hey, that's just me.

Willi Berner

willi berner


I think we make too much of lables. We should like each other for who we are inside not on physical attributes.sexual orientation is just another lable. I'm comfortable in who and what I am. If a person likes me for that reason then fine if not thats their problem not mine. HUGS to all.

Phyllis


What is hetrosexual. Why do we need all of these tags. TS, TV, Bi, gg, etc. It is to satisfy the ones who chose to discriminate against one or more groups. I am a human being, born "male" lived most of my life "male", desires to enjoy my female self. Why should we worry about the reasons a man would like to enjoy our female selves. Life is far toooooo short to not pursue the needs we feel. Maybe that is why a "man" would desire a TS/TV. We have needs that do not fall in all labels. Lets just live and let live and enjoy life and each other. HUGS, Terrianne.

Terrianne


Sure, and why not? Why do TV's dress anyway? When they look in the mirror they see an "image" of their female self. This image is very strong, yet they are still heterosexual, attracted to a female who is really a male (themselves). This can be carried to the next level, were a heterosexual male who is not a TV is attracted to a TV for the same reason the TV is attracted to herself. Complicated? Oh yeah! Have any of you heard "I wish you could think like a man" or "I wish men were more imotional"? A TV is the best of both worlds, so why shouldn't a heterosexual male be attracted to her. Same is true of a Gender female given half a brain! Those of the transgendered have the best of it, even though there are sociological prejudices to overcome. Have fun with it. If a "straight" male or female comes on to you feel flattered, in other words you done good! Love to all, TTFN CJ

Cynthia Roberts


I was looking on the different news groups and "on-line shops" for a nice CD with pictures of Cross Dressers, Transvestites, etc. However I did not find anything worth, and did not feel like giving any credit card number to any of the "sites" that I visited on the net. Do you know a serious place on the net where I could buy one? Thanks

julie


More to come? Unless I drop dead pretty soon, there will certainly be more. I am a heterosexual cd and have gone through all the usual stages...lingerie as a very young child, secret total crossdressing as a young adult, going out at night to be "seen", graduating finally into the light, joining a Tri-Ess chapter (which, btw, is probably the best thing I did), being elected to a chapter office. Kerri is becoming more and more a natural part of my life and, to be honest, it's both exciting and frightening. As Christy Kay said so well, all you can do is hang onto the cart and enjoy the ride! ride

Kerri Edwards


As Far as placing myself on a scale within the community, I would have to say "In the vicinity somewhere between nearing TG, but leaning more and more towards non-op TS." No< I am not currently happy with where I am at, mainly because my S.O. has refused to come along for the ride. At the same time, I am anxious to find out more about where this ride will take me in the future. Had I not fallen in love and gotten married, I would probaly, in all honesty be a Post-Op by this time. But, such are the choices we make in life.

My children, ages 15 through 22, are beginning to put two and two together and,, as they do, we are able to discuss things in a civil manner and keep reality pretty much on an even keel. Although they have also not completely accepted it, they haven't kicked me out of their lives either. I have noticed a very definate strain with my relationships with both of my sons and, at the same time, what appears to be even stronger bonding with both of my daughters.

Where it will go from here, I have no idea. But, for me and my family, I feel that the key to the whole situation was found when I finally accepted me for myself and began facing the situation rather than trying to keep things forever hidden, deep in the closet.

I have lost friendships, I have lost pride and most of all, for a long period, I had also lost myself. I feel that I have only recently found most of what I had lost and I am continuing to build what I feel is a very healthy life around that. As far as the lost freindships go, all I can say is "To Hell with them!!!" If they cannot or will not accept me for who and what I truely am, then they are not true friends to begin with.

Robyn


Transgendered women please help me! I am conducting a study about feelings and experiences of male to female transgendered women for my final research project at the California School of Professional Psychology. Specifically, I am searching for transgendered women who are 18 to 50 years old and who have a history of cross-gender wishes. Participants must currently be in individual psychotherapy, group psychotherapy or in a support group. Please contact me if you are interested in participating.

Mariam Jafari


I've only recently discovered I enjoy dressing as a woman. For me it's both the feeling of silk next to my skin and also a sexual turn on. I don't feel that I'm gay (I have no interest in men) but have fantasies of making it with a pre-op transexual. I enjoy women but would still like to be with a TS. Does this make me bi? What am I? I'm 50 years old and wear women's underwear under my street clothes. Around the house I wear women's clothing but don't feel that I could pass on the street as a woman.

Michele


There is more to come !! In the spring of 97 my facial hair will be gone for good. I'll be "full time" and starting my count-down to SRS. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.But I feel that I have to go all the way.

Gloria Prz.


In a very internal way, my transition started many years ago - when I decided that "some day" I'd break out of my angry young man role and make the switch. Did just that in June of '96. I started hormones, changed jobs, and transitioned all in two weeks! After a year of analysis, of course. So that pushed me well along the spectrum. But done? - no way. Since I spent so many years (I'm 37) being the WASP, homeowner, Dad, Het type that my current appreciation for women and the challenges they face is enormous. Without trying to sound too fawning, I know I have a long way to go in my search for a more womanly life. I am fortunate to live in the only state where TGs have (at least officially) employment protection, and to work for a very progressive corporation. A pragmatic spouse nominally endorses my choices, but cannot agree to live together. So - to return to the question - I have not landed in a permanent home in T-land (I think its 3 dimensional rather than linear), but I'm very free to pursue a lifelong path of self definition.

Shannon O'.


I feel that there is so much more to come!!! I'm looking toward a bright future where I can simply choose to be male or female any given day without any ramifications from the people I live with or work with. I know that some day I'll be accpeted regardless of what I'm wearing. What I mostly want is the freedom to express exactly who I am and not what other people feel I should be.

I can't help myself any longer. I need to "come out" and also face who I am. I hated myself for a long time because of what I looked at as an affliction. Now I feel that I deserve to feel good and be accepted too. So - back to the question - for me there is more to come!!! I have to be OUT!!! I can't stop denying myself the freedom of expression that I have denied myself of for so long.

As a CD, it seems like there are so few sympathetic souls. (Although I know it is also hard for TS's, I think there is more of a dilem for the CD).

Sorry I talked so long - but I had to say something!!!!

Thanks TG forum - - - joy

joy


Place yourself on the Transgender spectrum. Have you reached a place where you are happy or is there more to come? The last twelve months of transition have been traumatic. But now I am settling down nicely in my true gender. The next goal is SRS and after that I look forward to a fullfilled life as a successfull women. In this sense there is much more to come and I look forward to the future. I have no regretts and only wish that I had changed during my teeaged years. Love and peace, Rachel.

Rachel Sarah



I have discovered where I am and yes there is more to come. It's always a continuing journey. One where I will be one with my trueself.

Renee


Am I happy where I'm at? I suppose, but I'm not happy where nearly every one else is at. . . until I can wear what I want without putting on a "disguise," I know that we all have a long way to go. Ciao,

Giorgio


About five years ago I finally got to a point on the "spectrum" where I am happy and probably will be for quite some time. I am a hetrosexual male who, about five years ago, went into public en femme for the first time. Since then I have done it about once a week. It is so relaxing, and enjoyable, I only regret having waited so long to go out. Love to all, Stephanie

Stephanie


Where do I place myself. I am about there with Cheryl. I enjoy dressing tremendously. I know that I will not be able to do it full time. I also know that the fantasies waste a lot of my time that I could be using productively for other purposes. I do sometimes have intense feelings of shame afterwards and have sworn off countless times. But I do enjoy it. So I am not exactly happy here and am unsure about the future. I love this web site.

Stephanie Ann


Hopefully, there is more to come. . .

Courtney


I've only recently discovered I enjoy dressing as a woman. For me it's both the feeling of silk next to my skin and also a sexual turn on. I don't feel that I'm gay (I have no interest in men) but have fantasies of making it with a pre-op transexual. I enjoy women but would still like to be with a TS. Does this make me bi? What am I? I'm 50 years old and wear women's underwear under my street clothes. Around the house I wear women's clothing but don't feel that I could pass on the street as a woman.

Michele


This is for Jade@Spry01 regarding Portland Oregon. I received your e-mail but am unable to send you a reply as the email address you sent me seems not to exit. Please email me again with a working address and I will send you the information. Sallyanne O

Sallyanne


Well, now, isn't that the $64 question? (Does that date me?) I ask myself that question daily. It's a toughie, as it requires utter honesty. Like most other T*s I've met, I'm smart enough to justify anything. But, for once, I must be totally honest with myself. It's the least I can do for myself and my family. I am trying to leave all options open, but I'm about 75% sure I'm TS. Quite frankly, it would be easier if I could say I'd be happy with periodically switching my character roles, but I'm really not sure I can live 2 lives. On the other hand, what I see down the TS road is at the same time exciting, inviting, soothing, and scary. "Two roads diverged in a wood ..."

Where am I? At least I'm not in the hell of hopelessness and denial anymore. As to anything else, I'll take it one step at a time.

Live in Peace! Stephie

Stephanie Michaels


This is off the subject I know but, have any of you sweeties tried using Magic Powder for hair removal? It's the stuff for black men to use on facial hair. I would sure like to know what experiences anyone has had before I try it on my fairly sensitive legs and decolletage. Am I happy on the spectrum? Some days are fantastic and other days could use a bit of work. Friends sure help!

Elizabeth P. in Idaho


No I'm not quite happy. But I'm close. Every step along this strange highway has led me to another door of opportunity and I've always tried to lever it open, sometimes with less than satisfying results. I'm 60 now and I've been opening these doors since I was ten. That's a long time and I've achieved a lot. My point is that each time I stepped through a doorway I imagined it would be enough and it never was. There was always another hallway to passage through and then another door. Now I can't really be happy until I take the final step into fulltime living and I'm close. The idea of it terrifies my S.O. but she's coping, slowly. I don't mean to hurt her but it is something I simply have to do. The final doorway? I hope so.

Love to all, Peta

peta wilson


Place myself? - female. Like it here? - Yes. Gone far enough? - I dont want to give up my work as a mechanical engineer, and that makes people call me "he" a lot, and it gets me dirty and knocked aroubd a lot (five stitches in the cheek last month). SRS worked well, and my boobs are amazing - one last dream is to get a baby and USE them!

Kali


I am as happy as I have ever been in my life. But there are times when I miss the ex wife I still love who just cant accept all my feminine ways or understand my need to dress in female clothes. We are all looking for continious happiness and as I perfect the female image I know there are many new friends to meet and things to do as Debbie. I will not be truly happy until we ALL reach a point in society when a man dressing in female clothes is totally acceptable everywhere we want to go. But for now "being Debbie is happiness" and I have it a lot better than most. At least I can be Debbie whenever I want and I have my home all set up the way I want it looking as feminine as I want. I just love my Barbie doll collection and being able to leave my Cosmo magazines out front for all to see. I would not trade my showgirl drag queen friends for anything and I value their friendship very much. Tgf is happiness - Cindy of TGF is happiness - female clothes are happiness / sex as Debbie is real happiness / and I guess overall I am a happy person. Love to all and write me lots of letters - I love to hear from all my friends out there in "transformation land" .Debbie

Deborah Allen


Place myself? Cross-dresser. Happy? Yes. More to come? That's the $1,000,000 question. Who know what the future holds? Acceptance of myself was a monsterous step. Now that I can accept myself as a cross-dresser, I'm more open to question other aspects of myself. Am I heading towards SRS or being a transgenderist? Today my answer is no. But a little more than a year ago, I would have answered no to being a cross-dresser. So each and every day, all I'm trying to do is hold on to the cart, and enjoy every minute of the ride. Oh, and Hi Rita!

Christy Kay


Happy? In a strange way, yes. I hardly dress, but accept myself as fully transgendered and I know the circumstances in which i would go for SRS. I'm known and valued for both sides of me by a woman who loves me intensely, and I'd flatly rather die than lose her love. I'm also increasingly aware that being TG has given me an enormous strength. I write history, and I'm very good with the theme of being torn by impossible contradictions and managing somehow to resolve them. Sound familiar? My TS colleague Dierdre McCloskey said in her professional coming-out statement that whatever the subject, we always write ourselves. I agree. By the time I was six I knew both that I wanted to write and that I needed to explore girlhood. Dressed or not, transitioned or not, I appreciate now that if I've got any success with the one desire I draw it directly from the other.

Emily


hi girls, yes i'm at a point were i'm happy with with myself but still as always theres more to come.one never know what the next day will bring into our life does one.bye for now your sis rickie

rickie


Jennifer


I am happy with who I am. But there is always more to come. As humans we must grow or we will stagnate. And this Girl has no wish to Stagnate. I intend to grow old gracefully and with maturity. I feel if I don't learn something new every day, the day was wasted. Keep the faith. hugs to all.

Phyllis


Although I have dressed for nearly all of my 50 years, I am probably not very far along the scale. My ego was so badly bashed as a child and throughout my marriage that I may never be totally ok again. I have found that I can dress around my apartment and can go out with a small select group but I still have a lot of irrational fears. Living in the Great American Outback where the word support has never been heard and the idea of coming out is anathema, I live mostly in the closet. Thankfully my closet gets bigger each year. I have fantasies of locking my business and my apartment, jumping in my car and leaving it all behind in a search for a place of acceptance. Then I talk myself out of it and believe there is no such place. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm probably a two with the wish to be a 12. If I ran the world I'd do it all the way to SRS. Larissa

Larissa


I believe there is still more to come. I first seriously cross dressed when I was 13, first went out in public when I was 18 (not counting short trips outside), and first got my legs waxed last spring. It is very slowly getting more and more serious. I don't think I'll ever have SRS but I am curious where it will go from here.

Suzanna


Hi, I've reached a level of contentment where I can start being who I really am more often in so far as cross-living is concerned. Still looking and planning on the time when I can transistion and be able to live full-time. Hoping to start HRT soon, and I've got another 50hrs of "E" yet to go, but I'm getting there. Hugs, Anne Marie

Anne Marie


While drossdressing does initially provide a sexual turn-on, it is definitely NOT the main reason I like to wear feminine clothing. I feel that I look better it feminine attire and I definitely feel better when wearing it. Even my wife agrees that I look better as a woman than she does and I have a better sense of clothing style than she does. She has only seen me dressed on three occations and doesn't understand, nor want to understand, the needs and desires that drive me to crossdress. Any ideas, girls ? The closet is getting pretty stuffy.

Danielle


I have never come out. I love panties, hose, heels, bra, etc. Love the feeling next to my skin. Women are so lucky to have all of the choices they do. My wife would divorce me if she founbd out I still dress when she is out of town. I would like to meet some other cross dressers to dress together. I plan to keep reading the forum and eventually open up., Regina Lee

Regina Lee


I have only recently discovered the TV community on the internet, and was wondering if people could help me with something, namely finding local support/friendship. I have been quite happily dressing in the privacy of my home for over ten years (and much longer under the fear of discover by family etc., but I have my own place now), but have regularly felt the need for the companionship of other people like myself. Until now I didn't really have any ideas about how to proceed on this. I live in the Connecticut Valley region of NH/VT, and while aware of the profusion of TV/TS organizations in southern New England, felt that these were too far away for me. Granted, they probably have members that are "long-distance" like myself, but I never got motivated to find out. I am thus wondering if anyone who is reading this lives of is aware of other TVs in the Lebanon, NH area (within an hour or so), or knows where I might go to find them. I've lived with this alone for long enough!! Many Thanks, Cecilia

Cecilia


Hi! I'm a 22 year crossdresser, who just discovered your wonderful web site. I've been a crossdresser since I was 4 or 5 and I've just begun really discovering the world of "passing". I don't know about the rest of the "girls", but I think that my femininity was inherited, not learned. Of course, I had to "learn" about makeup and how to walk in 5" heels, but didn't every girl ?

Tammi


Accoring to the manual (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV, DSM-IV) there are two types of cross dressers: the trans-sexual, and the transvestic fetishist. The true transexual derives no erotic excitement from crossdressing while the fetishist does. . . or so the theory goes. Of course the DSM-IV warns against "categorical diagnosis," infering that there is no truely pure form exclusive of variation. These distinctions prove problematic when I find myself both aroused by cross dressing and at time not aroused at all. There are no clear-cut distinctions. So if I could flip a switch and change gender I would do it all the while knowing that I have no sexual interest in men. I don't like men. I don't like being a man or being around them. I suppose my "penile-phobia" stems from being sexually abused by an uncle when I was pre-pubescent (trite but true). The whole aggressive, male sex-role just sort of repulses. . . I've talked with a few post-surgicals and find the surgical approach is sort of inflicted on us by social expectations, viz: "You're not allowed to dress and act that way without going through a very complex and painful initiation." So let them smootch my lace-lined derriere. . . I'm thinking of moving to SF so I can become the world's least convincing transvestite. Is this sexual? I suppose. But it's more social than most anyone on the Bulletin Board here is willing to graple with. One last shot. . . when women wear men's clothes, they are not trying to pass as a man, but rather they express a masculine aspect of their feminine nature. Why can't men express the same sort of sentiments? is it because we're hung up on "sissydom" so much that we have to repress its expression in open society? If more men got in touch with their feminine side, the world might be just a bit less aggressive, competitive, and alienating. But I'm ranting. Ciao,

Giorgio


Well ladies, I think that those who say we dress for merely sexual reasons are narrow minded and uneducated. I dress to feel the slinkiness of an outfit, the moistness of lipstick, the feel of my long tresses across my shoulders and the look of long bright red nails. I'm not out to find other men or women, but if that happens I don't avoid it either. I enjoyed the movie, To Wong Foo..., and didn't think it was derogatory to our kind. Although I would like to find out how to hide my Adam's Apple! :) I would appreciate any comments to my reply to this posting.

WantaB1


I am a transsexual(M to F)psychologist who is currently writing a book on the subject. The book will be covering all the many different aspects of transsexualism - medical, legal, social etc as well as containing many different stories of post-op trannies. If anyone out there would like to send us their story(500words) and/or a photo, all contributions will be gratefully received. Stories can be sent via e-mail or snail mail to the following address: Tracie O'Keefe (N-SHAP Adv.Thp), The London Medical Centre, 144 Harley Street, London W1. Further information: Tel. 0171 439 1995 Fax 0171 439 3536.

Tracie O'Keefe


I dress for myself, spending hours putting on my most feminine things. Makeup has always been a problem with my ruddy complection.But when I'm finished it is really a work of art. Then I slip on a pair of heels, turn and stand back from the mirror and I just cannot control my physical sexual inclinations and desires for this gorgeous creature before me. Suddenly I become another Peter North as my manliness explodes time after time in nearly endless episodes of ecstacy.I can hardly wait for tomorrow so I can start all over with different clothes, makeup, and wig, as a different girl of my dreams.

barbara


So my last message didn't get put up on the board, and I'm wondering if I got too controversial? Well now I've changed my outward appearance again and am writing from a new handle. Anyway, this bulleting board is an important resource for me. All the other TV sites just want to sell me cocktails and a place to drag myself into the night. After years of "couch time" I sought out a gifted surgeon and went for the SRS. The answer to this week's question? It's sexual in so far as being human is sexual. I jsut had an impossible time trying to relate to the rest of the world from the man's point of view. I got lucky in the physical attributes department: 5'8" and 140 slinky, well toned pounds. It's great not to have to cope as a male, but I wouldn't say this is for everyone who gets whipped up by jumpimng into a lace trimmed ensemble. And it's not all smooth sailing. . . even with the "whore moans" I still like spending time with the girls, and really sort of get alienated around men.

Henrietta


sex????what ever are we talking about?does a women ever have sex?or are we predisposed to making love. I love being feminine and part of the feminine mystique is the sexual expression of our femininity. If we deny our sexuality, we deny our femine self. The make up, the clothes, the mannerisms we seek to emulate start and end with sexual expression. If you can't express yourself as a woman in the sexual mode, you may as well wear bvd's under your skirt!!!!

mara


I do not believe it to be true, because I believe in the complexity of human beings. Personally, yes, my crossdressing is entirely sexually oriented. So far. But I cannot presume to say that, yes, the same is true for *all* crossdressers/transvestites. That having been said, if my personal emails with other TV/CD's are an indication, it would seem that most TV/CD's do it purely for sexual gratification.

Nicole Asahi


Yeah!! I just read the report on transgendered behavior, in this weeks forum, and after 46 years I have found out I am not a transvestite after all, I don't seem to fit the profile at all, I am not quite, I did alright with the girls, I did not have abuse at home, I do not have a low self asteem problem, but boy I sure am going to miss all the great clothes, and the warm feelings dressing as always giving me, but since I don't fit the profile, and I don't dress for sexual gratification, I guess I have to give it up(NOT).

Tina


Yes. I find it extremely exiting. While I find the idea of an intimate relationship with a GM revolting, I often find myself feeling like a female born in the wrong body. After dressing to satisfy the desire as it were, the urge to dress goes away and is replaced by shame for a while.

Cheryl


I have had an opportunity to read some recent literary works on TG issues, as well as past works, considered leading insight into our psycological profiles. From my perspective each of the works published are speculative and not based on anything but the authors personal bias. How can someone who is not TG understand or write about being TG? Each individual on this earth is unique, what makes us any different. True we don't fit the "mold" of the "straight heterosexual" but, we are ourselves and that is all that matters in the end. We harm nobody and in fact are more understanding and forgiving for our difference. Keep the faith TTFN CJ

Cynthia Roberts



Each of of has her own personal reason for dressing, and those reasons are as varied as the personas behind them. I dress as an outward reflection of who I am and what I feel. Sexually speaking, I reject many more propositions than I entertain because I am at a stage in my life where I am looking for much more than a "quick roll in the hay". I am always flattered by sincere compliments and respond accordingly, but sex is not (and should not be) an automatic reward for someone who happens to think I look good.

Cherysse St. Claire


I think the statement that we "...only dress for sexual reasons.." is a gross over-simplification. While many of us may have initially been motivated "by sex" at a very early age; I do not think that long-time cross- dressers are motivated by sex. I think the reasons we dress are much more complex and deeper rooted than just sex. I am 60 years young and I do not dress for sexual reasons. Thanks for listening to me. Janice A. Summers


For Transexuals? The answer would have to be no. I find very little sexual stimulation in being dressed. It is more of a relief ... like taking off a very tight pair of shoes after a long day! I will grant, though, that when I am clean of body hair I feel very pretty, thus sexy, and _then_ I can get aroused. Also in the beginning, way before I admitted things to myself, I would become aroused by getting dressed. But I think that's because a) it's great to feel "right", even though you don't know it yet, and b) transvestic fetishism is more "ok" ("just another weird guy thing") with the rest of the world! Live in Peace! Stephie

Stephanie Michaels


There is no way anyone can group all of us into one reason why we like to dress in female clothes. All of us got started at different times in our lives - and for various reasons. Early childhood experiences I am sure play a large part in our future lifestyles and lay the foundation for the way we are as human beings. I always felt inside I had preferences for female clothes and felt more comfortable being with women as friends. When I first dressed it was the most incredible sexual experience I had ever felt - and I knew I was hooked. Sex when dressed in all the lingerie was the best ever - and it became an obsession to dress whenever I could. Over time the sexual side of it all became secondary - and it became much more important to perfect the feminine image.

There is no question at all in my mind that female clothes are much more sexual than male clothes. A girl can change her looks at any time and look casual or erotic. Most people look at a female as a sexual object - much more than when they check out a guy. When I dress as Debbie I feel sexual - like I want people to admire my body and clothes. I create a visual image of how I want everyone to know how I feel inside. I much prefer to have sex as a female and do all the feminine sexual things. When I wear the lingerie I know I can turn a guys head and work him into a frenzy. I love every minute of this illusion. I no longer get turned on by the clothes - but they do make me feel much more sensual. So the sexual reasons for dressing are there - but they are not the main reason for dressing.I just feel much more comfortable dressing in female clothes. It's the way I am and want to be. Love to all - Deborah.

Deborah Allen


I think it would be unrealistic to say that there is not some sexual part to being transgender. What that part is, I think is an individual thing. For me there is almost a delicious feel of release that sometimes manifests itself sexually but I consider that to be a part of my female being as well as the non sexual elements. Let me know what you think. Anne

anne


Whether crossdressing is purely sexual for me there is a smiple answer, NO. Although it might have started out in the beginning as purely sexual, it has grown up over the years as my sexuality has. In my younger years I would dress to enhance my sexual pleasure, period. Now I can dress to dress with no thought of sex at all. It is more gender identification, and the pure pleasure I get from the varity of clothes it is possible to wear as female as compared to male (yuk) clothing. I can't say that I am not sexually aroused by dressing anymore, but far, far less so than in the past. Now I just love dressing en Femme! Willow

Willow


To some degree there is a bit of that in most of us. I when dressed,do at times dream of being made love to. Like most tho its a dream never acted upon. It is the relaxation, contentment and well being that is the prime reason for dressing from my point of view. Besides I love the clothing,I envy women their styles, colors etc. nothing dull and distastefull in their wardrobes. Hope to see you all at Fantasia Fair again. Catherine

Catherine


I don't think it 's only sexual. I do remember the feeling I had at the age of 8 when my mum let me wear one of her dresses that was made for her when she was 8. The feeling is pretty much the same now almost 30 from that. I think that sexual feelings and thoughts will come later when one knows already more about sex and things. But the basic excitement is not sexual. It is something else. Maybe just the feeling that you have discovered another self inside you. And you just have the urge to do so - sometimes. Katrina

KATRINA



I am a TV who has been dressing for almost 15 years. For most of this period, the motivation for me has been sexual. I started with my mother's pantyhose, sandals, and lingiere and had very powerful sexual feelings. However, in the last three years, the motivational base has expanded. I dress more for the love of the femininity in me now than before. The sexual part is still there, but I am putting more effort into embracing and reveling in my femininity now. Incidentally, I shall be attending my first crossdresser's support meeting in a couple of weeks! I'm very excited! (no pun intended).

Kathryn


NO, I don't see cross-dressers as people who are dress simply for sexual reasons. Cross-dressers mainly dress for peace with themselves. Melanie


I agree that CD/TV and TS are part of the wider, Transgenderism. It is sad that many cannot see the connection between the different threads of TG. I think that unless we can learn from each other, instead of putting each other down, then we will never progress to a point where we can be free to express our gender identification. Thanks.Amanda

Amanda


Man sollte es nicht für möglich halten, welches Aufsehen es gibt, wenn man mit einem lackierten Fingernagel in der ÖLffentlichkeit Musik macht. Ich war echt schockiert, als mir der Veranstalter mitteilte, daß ich so nicht auftreten dürfe. Ich habe dann selber darauf verzichtet.

Eva (cd)


Seems to me to ba another case where different segments of our community do not understand the other segemnts. We can all subscribe to stereotypes, where CDs are this and TSs are that, but in reality, we are are trying to understand different manifestations of the same condition, ie transgednerism. Reminds me to the old story of the 3 blind men describing the elephant, each had a different description depending on what part of the elephant they had their hands on.

Christy Kay


C/D, T/V simply for sexual reasons? I don't think so. Some may think it's a game to crossderss. But the fears and emotions involved are too complex. When I dress I am sexy, not sexual. there is a difference. To most of us It is the expression of who we really are. And what we are deep inside. Hugs to all. Phyllis

Phyllis


I never Xdressed as a kid, and never have got much from it. I dress now only to emphasise my female identity now that I have redefined it. I find female clothes are more erotic though!

Kali


For me dressing is a way of being me,not being an erotic sex thing. people who are secure with themselfs know this to be true,or they would not go out dressed. To the socalled experts who say its asex thing ,I say to hell with them.bye for now ,rickie

rickie


No. For me it is much more emotional than sexual. Authors love stereotypes. It saves them the reseach to find the truth. As has been expressed in this Bulletin Board many times, there is no simple answer. The way I dress expresses who I am, nothing more, nothing less.

larissa


Not such a simple equation. Where do you draw the line between life and sex? These self proclaimed experts must simplify things such that the data fits their assumptions. The human animal is too complex to disassociate one need from the others totally. We CD/TV/TS/T wahtevers are more complex than the basse assumtions made in that statement. Yes, dressing up in sexy satins with lace etc is a definite turn on to me and a very nice part of my life. Is sex the driving force? No, as has been answered by the other girls comments, most of use started dressing at such a young age that sex was not even a part of the need. If the shrinks and accademics would stop trying to simplify us down to one variable, maybe they could learn to accept us. At least they could leave us alone and not try and disrupt our lives further. HUGS, Terrianne.

Terrianne


I feel that there are many different reasons to why different people crossdress for and not all crossdressers for the same reasons as to some its a sexual arousal, a fetish, some do it to engage in a sexual relationship with another guy or CD where dressed as a male would have no desires to have any form of a sexual relationship with another guy, but as long as one has some form of feminine clothing on, they feel are having a heterosexual relationship and will deny being gay. Others may cross dress to escape the reality of being a male, to perhaps escape depression as to many can be a way to help with depression and be like a drug.

Then get people who just like the feel of feminine clothing next to there skin. Then get those who feel in there minds they should have been born female and they are wearing the clothes of the gender they feel should have been born as. There really are many reasons why different people cross dress for and we are not all the same nor all share the same fantasies, dreams, feelings, emotions I have never cross dressed to engage in sex, nor was I ever turned on by putting on feminine clothing as does nothing sexual for me and the only thing that sexually turns me on is "LOVE" and the lady that am involved with which I also happen to be married. But even before marriage Crossdressing was never any form of a sexual arousal, but think with me it actually worked the opposite and know of other CD's which did nothing sexual for them and actually took sexual desires away.

CyberGirl


Do crossdressers/transvestites do what they do simply for sexual or erotic reasons? Certainly not in the beginning, at the age most of us begin the activity. We were guileless then and had not yet learned the necessity of hiding behind the manufactured images we present to ourselves and the world. At age 4 or 5, there is a degree of honesty in our self-awareness that we may never fully achieve again. This may be a controversial statement, but I believe that when a boy of that age begins crossdressing, he does so for only one reason - he wants to be a girl. Knowing neither the word nor its implications, he begins as a transsexual. Like many other cd's (if that is what I still am), I experienced a period in my life in which crossdressing was extremely erotic but, even then, other powerful emotions were involved. In my 20's, for example, when I first began allowing "Kerri" to be seen in public there was a wonderful, almost narcotic, excitement associated with it, but it was not solely an erotic excitement. For lack of a better way to put it, I was "getting away with something" - but that phrase does not really do it justice. Today, in my middle-age years, the raw intensity of those emotions has diminished and I sense that I am returning to my roots. If, as Richard Docter has theorized, there is a transgender continuum, it may well be a circular one. http://pages.prodigy.com/kerricd

Kerri Edwards


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HOBBY??!! Not for me. I prayed to re-awaken as a girl since before kindergarten(4 yrs old), prayed to die on the schoolbus each day, almost committed suicide three times.

I've always identified with girls, and they confide in me things that their SO's, friends, and family may not know. But, because I was born "male" and was forced to act "male" I kept things as quiet as possible, but, I was caught when I was 5 by my mother, at a neighbor's house(in the bathroom wearing her nightie), again around 8, at home by my mother who questioned why her dresses were rumpled in my closet. My sister and cousin caught me at 12 in a mini-dress, tried to dress me up for Halloween, but I was too embarassed. I've shown a few people as a child who only giggled(thought I was just being silly), and as an adult(slew of mixed reactions good and bad).

I was on the football and wrestling teams, and lifted weights, why??, to make it go away so I could be whole(knew by now I would not wake up tomorrow as a girl).

After graduation, met the girl who is now my wife, she accepts it most of the time. I have kids so I probably won't get SRS, though I feel I need to if I ever want to be happy. "I rarely find sexual pleasure in "dressing up" if you want to call it that, but I am totally obsessed with my feminine self. I am heterosexual, but often I've wondered why I love women so much when I need so desperately to feel ok about being one.

Karen


I am (a young person) and started when I was too young to remember. My parents would not understand. I put on my mother's nightgown and felt the satin pressing against me and it drove me wild! I wear everything when I get a chance. But I can not get a wig, so it is not as good as it could be... No, I was not influenced growing up. I love woman's clothing!!!!! I am not afraid to admit it!

Andrea


I believe I was born transgendered. One thing that I have always wondered about though is the fact that while my mother was pregnant with me, she desparately wanted me to be a girl. Could her wishes somehow have affected the way I turned out.


Can anyone recommend a cosmetic surgeon who might make these bags under my eyes disappear? The good doctor should not be too expensive, but expert and careful and kind. I'm tired of "Sudden Change" and pulling my temples back with sports tape.

Candace


I can not remember any circumstance in my childhood that would have brought on the feelings that I have about myself and the urge to be a woman! I feel that in my particular instance that I was born with these feelings. I know that through the years that thes feelings are growing to the point that I am considering SRS.. Time will tell!

Donna


Definitely much more than a hobby, though also being a total rail nut, chasing live steam runs it a close second! Seriously though, as a married CD , I decidedlast year, after over 30 years of fear, not to suppress the need for femme expression any longer. Maggie now takes every reasonable opportunity to do her thing, which includes occassional outings, usually at night, but also when circumstances permit, during the day.

Whilst occasionally one gets some moronic comment, in the main their are few problems if one takes care to 'fit in' and the pluses are great. However this is not always easy as society in general, and particularly here in the UK, now accepts very slovenly dress standards, making it difficult for a well dressed girl to blend into the crowd. I guess most 'girls' like to dress 'up', when what we frequently now have to do is dress 'down'!

Se-la-ve!


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I believe I came this way... when I was pre-school I used to admire the 'pretty ladies' and notice what they were wearing. Don't know if it made a difference or not...Now I'm 62 and still doing it!! Sandy...

Sandy


For those who understand, no explanation is needed... For those who don't understand, no explanation will suffice...

Hope


I know that my gender dysphoria is the result of a biological 'mishaps'. Officially diagnosed and certified. Yet that does not make it easier. People who discriminate against other people seldom ask first about the cause of the difference. In my life, childhood experiences have only contributed to show my gender difference more clearly. It were indeed the other kids that pointed this difference out to me. Love and Peace, Rachel

Rachel Sarah


Hi, everyone. I think our childhood has to have an influence. Maybe we have a disposition towards it and the right childhood brings it out.I was brought up during the war with my mother,my sister and two other ladies. I started dressing in my sister's clothes at about 5. Long before puberty. The sexual arousal only occured at about 11. Bye that time I was hooked and have been all my life. hugs, Janey.


Hi I have been dressing since I was a teen am 33 now my relationship with my wife has been affected. My question is how do I tell her that I would rather be a woman? I have pushed around a sex change I wish I could get it. I would appreciate any advice thanks.

Denise


I'm a pre-op in Reno, NV, and just starting to find the people to help me with transitioning. After reading the postings here, I feel incredibly lucky to have a fiancee (Genny) who accepts my transsexuality and can't wait till my breasts are bigger than hers! So many ts's and tv's seem to go through alot of pain just getting their Loved Ones to accept them, I am glad that I have someone to support me totally through this. I plan to be quite able to fill out my white dress when I walk down that isle in two years. It sure takes some work, though...

Brighid


It appears that most of the posts have that same theme of pre-puberty experiances with Cross Dressing. The same situation applies to me. I often visited an Aunt whom I found out much later in life was a lesbian. This fact never once bothered me in fact it explained, at least in part why she and her "friends" enjoyed dressing me up for bedtime. This all happened between ages 4-9 or 10 and then was discontinued. The feeling of the nightie and other clothes never left me but during those awkward years when you cannot buy your own clothes led to some interesting encounters with clothes lines and the laundry hamper. This is a life long habit not a hobby. I'm a 30 year member of the cross dressing "Club" and am happily married for 16 of those years. My Wife is the single most important person to my live not only is she supportive she is activly involved in my habit. Barbara

Barbara


I am 46 years old and for as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a girl. I got married to a wonderful woman 23 years ago and she suspects and would not approve if I were to be caught. There was no one to turn to back then. If there was I would be a woman today. So I just day dream and dress up when I can. I envy those who have taken the step toward womanhood. Hugs and kisses to all my sisters.

Julie


Yes, i beleive i started when i was about five and i put on pantyhose for the first time!

Sunshine


When i was six i took a pair of my sisters silky pantyhose and i put them on and loved how soft they felt and loved the feel of slips and nightgowns and i think that influenced me!!

holly


I believe it is a combination of both. I remember being about ten years old and living with my uncle and very feminine aunt (she always wore a dress and heels) On a few occasions I would sneak in my aunts room and slide on a pair of stockings and panties,sometimes keeping them on for periods of time concealing them under my pants and then I would panic to put them back exactly where I found them .It was shortly after a few of these instances that I would discover different articles of my aunts clothes in my own bedroom,sometimes a pair of silk panties mixed in with my underwear,silk nightgown in my laundry hamper,pantyhose hung in the bathroom adjacent to my room and a girdle (even though my aunt had her own private bathroom).

Needless to say I spent many nights wearing these articles of clothing with the bedroom door locked.I think my aunt was encouraging me to wear her clothes and one night over dinner she related a story from work ( she worked at the local hospital)about a lady who had given birth to a baby boy and was accompanied by her ten yr old daughter who "said mom can we put a dress on him when we get home?" and the mother said "sure honey".I remember thinking how bizarre that my aunt would say this ,but as I lay in bed that night in my nightie and pantyhose I found myself envious of the baby's situation. I think that I am the crossdresser that I am today at age twenty because of genetics and childhood circumstances either way I,m glad I enjoy womens clothes and my femme side.

Susan


Kristen Miller; Try fingerhut for a girdle with hip and bottom pads. Lesley; I got my duroblend from QVC network. Or try Dillards dept. store. Becky Lynn, I'm pretty close to St. Louis and love to shop. I just joined the St. Louis gender society, so I'll be around once a month. Anne Marie, your E Mail was very interesting. Sounds like your almost there. Pam; try going to your first meeting in your regular boy clothes. Thats what I did. Really broke the ice. You will find out that big girls are just as welcome. Teri.

Teri


This is my first time in this forum. I think that the desire to cross dress is both a genetic and learned experience. I first cross dressed at the age of 5 and have been doing so for forty years. I am married and my wife has seen me in a dress on three occations. I have been able to "pass" with ease, as I'm somewhat small and have good features. When my wife was visiting her sick mother, I was able to dress every day. I took two weeks vacation time and lived as a woman for those two glorious weeks! I when everywhere as a woman and NEVER got hassled or questioned. I love the way I'm treated as a woman and want to go fulltime, but....

Danielle


I think my desire to crossdress was both a genetic and a learned experience. My sisters dressed me up as a girl when I was 5 and my parents only commented about how cute I looked as a girl. Since I received a lot of compliments on my appearance I crossdressed quite frequently. As I grew older I discovered that I really liked being treated as a girl. Luckily I'm small framed and can pass virtually anytime as a woman. I work as a man, but live as a woman after 6:00. I've never desired to have sex with a man, but I love being with a man who knows how to treat a woman.

Danielle


I am a 37 year old cross dresser and believe that I was born this way. Very early in life, before the age of 5, I remember watching my mother do laundry and fold clothes to be put away. I would grab one of her bras and panties and run to my room to put them on. Of course my mom would take them back off me and tell me not to do this. By the age of 10, I was sneaking into her room, and trying on all of her clothes. But never my fathers. I dont believe that there was any event that "made me this way", its just the way I was born.

Stephanie


Seriously - yes it was a combination of both. I grew up in the sticks of Ireland and in a very macho world full of men who loved the outdoors and sports. I remember one time at the end of a rugby game at school the coach came up to me and told me to "touch the ball" so I could tell my parents that I at least did that one time. I hated this world where men where supposed to be men in all ways - and I longed to be with the girls who seemed to have a much easier life. I also longed to be able to dress in their clothes - for they had a very special allure to them and I used to dream about what it must be like to wear stockings and dresses and have long flowing hair. When I went to college in Dublin I took advantage of my first opportunity to dress and it was everything and more than I could have ever wished for.

I felt for the first time in my life that this was the way it was meant to be for me. When I emmigrated to USA I began to buy my own feminine clothes and kept it all secret for many years. Now I almost live my entire life as Debbie and I love every second of it all. I believe that we are all born with male and female qualities and as we grow up we tend to do things we enjoy and which feel natural. I always felt more comfortable with girls and all their female toys and clothes and interests. I still like all their female "toys" but now I call them "boys".

So I can truly say that my childhood experiences drew me into the female world and that there were certain characteristics when born that focused me in that direction. Who cares - I am so tired of all this self analysis. ALL I know is that I like being a girl and wearing all their beautiful clothes.

Debbie Allen


Yes ! - love to ALL Debbie.

Debbie Allen


Back to the old nature/nurture argument eh? Is it my fault or their fault? I weigh in with the answer BOTH. I was born with dysfuncional balls and feminine interests and got a nasty shock when hit with teenage testosterone. I tried to be a male for twenty years and then as a lifestyle choice GAVE UP. I think this was partly socioeconomic as I was finding it simply too much work keeping job, relationship and household all together. Life now without the sexual imperative is far nicer. It is just plain easier being a girl. Girls can get it

kali@nor.com.au


I believe it to be a combination of nuture and nature and not solely one of them by itself. To quote a phrase granny from the Beverly Hillbillies once used, "When I go is up to Him, where I go is up to me?" Ironically, because of my gender disphoria, I got a big break with Hollywood. A little boy who wanted to be a girl was just what the pro-life movement was looking for. I can't even remember where it all began. To sum it up, hormones or gender roles may effect a person's behavior but they are not the ultimate authority.

Suzanna


Brady Bunch : Mail Order Hero (Episode#96) Cindy (writing to Joe Namath) : "My name is Bobby Brady, I am 12 years old, and I am very sick." Truth or Dare? ...Nah! That's too easy. ??????????

Suzanna


For me being a TV came about as a desire to be more like my sisters, real ones that is, so I may have been borne like this but I dont really know. Perhaps a pointer comes from having a younger brother who I know developed TV tendencies completely independent of me. His wife told me and asked ME!! how she could stop him !!!. Wendy

WendyTV


Born this way.

satin6001


I feel that Childhood does and can play an important role in how we shall turn out in Adulthood. I began to cross dress at an early age and thought at times that I was going to grow into a woman, I never felt like a guy, never identified with other guys as never felt had fitted into society as a male. Had very weird childhood experiences like had began life as a girl and for some reason woke up one day as a boy. Almost like my mind and body were switched at early childhood. But I had to learn and try to cope with my Gener Identity guess the same way one must try to cope if they were born with some type of a physical handicap or became handicapped by some illness and/or accident.

CyberGirl


Pesonally, I feel I was born a transgendered person. Some of my earliest memories were that I was sure I was a girl. I just recently have come to accept that I am in the wrong gender body, and that to change this, will take considerable time and funds. DanielleAnn

DanielleAnn


No, I don't believe that any particular childhood experience(s) had a whole lot to do with my TG behaviour. I have always had an affinity towards feminine activities, dress, etc... It has just been recently that I have been becoming more comfortable with myself, and what I feel inside. I've come to accept my feelings of femininity and not feel bad about them.

Stefanie


There's no question that TG'ers have been influenced by a mysterious combination of genetic predisposition and family/environmental circumstances. I think it requires both elements to create the desire to be feminine and the actual "dressing" behavior. The interesting thing to me has always been how similar the developmental patterns have been for most of us. We haven't all "progressed" in precisely the same sequence of steps, but most of us have remarkably similiar developmental stages. This, to me at least, certainly fulfills the genetically based component of our behavior. That, and the fact that "this" won't "go away". Still, tis a bit of a mystery, isn't it? CAssie, in a philosophical mood

Cassie


Hey you Gem State Transgendered Gems! Anouncing the formation of the Boise Bloomers, a local gender oriented social group for Idaho's Treasure Valley. Transgender? Crossdresser? Transsexual? The closet is a dusty scarey place and don't ya need the room for your clothes?! Come out to us for safe discreet "come as you are" socializing. Any and all multigendered people and significant others are very welcome. If your Gender Gifted it's time to share yourself and Bloom! Contact Elizabeth P. at (208)388-3864 or write to 582 E. Boise Ave. Box #153, Boise, ID. 83706. or email liz@rmci.net. Hey, we're more than just Famous Potatoes!

Elizabeth P.


hi i am new here,i don't think that dressing is a hobby but away of life that some do and others don't . i have ben wearing socalled girls cloths {bras,panties,stockings,dresses,etc,}since i was 13 ,i'm39 now.so is it something from childhood or somthing sexual i don't think so.for me anyway its my personal lifestyle like it or not .bye for now rickie.

rickie


I would have to say that I was born this way. As a child I participated in the typical male activities. I just never felt completely comfortable. I liked dolls and feminine apparel more than sports and male clothing. After I first stole a pair of my sister's panties and tried them on I felt that I had found what was missing. Since then I've always felt more relaxed and at ease when wearing something feminine. Since I never was encouraged to dress or act this way, and I can't think of anything in my childhood that would have caused me to steal my sister's clothes, I must conclude that I was meant to be this way. And I must say that I prefer my feminie side very much!

ChristyW


When i was twelve, i stayed over night at my Aunts house. Aunt Bess's daughter was about my age and Bess had me wear her daughters pajamas ( pink silk ) and sleep with her daughter. During the night my cousin rubbed the PJ's over my privates, i loved the feel. From that day i used every chance to cover myself with satin or silk.

Fchmaid


Are we born transgendered or is it a learned response? Considering that most of us "start" in early childhood, long before the possibility of an erotic connection, I lean toward the theory that a significant part of it is there at or before birth. In my own case, I knew that I was somewhat atypical almost as soon as I discovered the physical difference between boys and girls. One of my earliest memories, in fact, is that of asking my mother when I would become a girl. She told me it would happen only if I could kiss my own elbow. I spent hours trying to get to that elbow! Consider, too, how few things a child of pre-school age will persist in doing that do not meet with parental approval. Being the quintessential "good little boy", plundering my mother's lingerie drawer is very nearly the only thing like that I can remember. Even though getting caught doing it brought swift and inevitable punishment, stopping was really not an option. Undeniably, there was a thrill associated with it but it was the thrill of doing something appropriate, something right for me, but something that was - and still is - unexplainable. Hugs, Kerri Edwards http://pages.prodigy.com/kerricd

Kerri Edwards


Cross dressing a Hobby? Guess that's one way of putting it, lets see how many CD's would put cross dressing down on an application form when asked what your hobbies are. I would never classify Cross dressing to being a hobby. Although have offen heard that expression being used in the past about Cross dressing being a hobby. Although there are different reasons why a person may choose to dress up for, But forever whatever reason may choose to cross dress for I certainly would not think of it as being a hobby and certainly never see any feminine clothing for sale at a hobby shop nor ever see Cross dressing as being in any type of a hobby book nor listed under any hobby lists. Perhaps should put crossdressing down on a hobby list which give out to applicants applying for a job. Does this mean that a person who gets drunk, does drugs, has a drinking problem, perhaps overeats can say thats also a hobby? Whoever said Cross dressing is a hobby was either saying it as a humor statement or needs to learn a few things about cross dressing.

Cyber Lesley


I definitely was born this way. My mother saw the signs early and did everything she could to try to change me. This included everything from yelling to beatings with a stick. I wasn't allowed to play with the girls tho I felt that was where I belonged. I was forced into activities and organizations I hated. I got the message that I was somehow faulty and grew up with this secret shame. It wasn't until about age 45 that I started to believe God didn't make mistakes. I was supposed to be this way. It has been wonderful discovering myself and allowing the real me to emerge. It was extremely difficult to admit to anyone that I loved to wear womens clothing. It is getting a little easier now. I have never met another person who admits they cd but I have been accepted for myself in a local community theater group. I sometimes go to their parties en femme. I was even cast in a role as a beauty queen in a satire. I was born this way and all the pain and suffering inflicted by small, narrow and intolerant minds has not changed me. larissa

larissa


I have recently read a paper by Dr.Mary Hogan-Finlay. Part of her research concerned whether childhood experiences could predict a transgender lifestyle. Her conclusion from her data would seem to indicate that she could not distinguish between her Transgendered Group and her control group based on relationships with either parent, famial abuse (physical, sexual, or emotional), happiness during child- hood, being considered a sissy or imaginative abilbity. Another interesting note was that of her control group (non-TGed), 4.6% of the participants answers were so similiar to her TG group, she transferred them into the TG Group.

Christy Kay


Early experiances or born? I think it's a little of both. There have been times where I have tried to suppress my femminine side. But what and who I am comes from deep within. I have accepted who I am. And am comfortable with the woman in me. We are all born with both for some of us the female side is as strong as the male side and for some of us it is stronger. We all need to find ourselves and accept who we are. Hugs to all.

Phyllis


Born or Made, that is the question. I think both. There has to be some predispositon there from birth. But experiences count for a lot. For myself I had a wickedly violent drunk for a father and a) I didn't want to be grow up to be like him and b) I identified closely with my mother and her sister, my aunt. In my case CDing came about well before puberty and so sexual desire, at first, had nothing to do with it. I just plain prefered to be a girl. And nothing has changed. And so I am. In my mind at least and, for real, for about 65% of the time, these days. But it took a while. I've lived in this inapropriate body for just on 60 years and only been a complete person for the last twenty. What a waste. For all you girls under 40 go where your heart tells you to go or, I promise, you'll regret it. Life is far too short.

petawilson


I definitely believe I was born TG. My upbringing was strictly male, no great emphisis on macho, but definitely male. Two brothers, and all male friends. I longed at age 7 to have a pair of those cute pattent black leather strap shoes that the little girls were wearing. As i grew up confusion set in as more female desires emerged. At age 12 in scouts one of the other boys got to dress as a girl in the play we put on. I remember being super jelous that he got the part, even though I was afraid to ask for it. I remember how cute he was all dolled up, I wanted so much to be him in that cute dress. I also had desires to hold him. I definitely was programmed male. But there was a glitch in the code and I am now relaizing that I am both male and female. Post ops may not understand this, because they are all female in the mind. But I am both male and female and enjoy both personas. Yes, I was born TG, but I am able to change between genders as easily as a multi-personality type person. We all are unique in our own ways. HUGS, Terrianne.

Terrianne


Monday Preview!

This Monday's edition features Olga's pictorial and a hot pictorial spread from the opening of the Lips nightclub in NYC. If you like glittering girls, you'll love this. Hilarious new Wanda cartoon. JoAnn Roberts column. Hot dressing tips from sensuous Camille. Vocal chord surgery. Three cute new Girls in Town, more Personal ads and lots of interesting news from the community. And there's more...p>
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Source for News, Entertainment, Resources and Information in the Community.
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Cindy Martin
Publisher TGForum
As Veronica and Paula say, it is more than a hobby. It is more than an obsession. It is a compulsion. For me it is a stronger compulsion when there is opportunity. Although it costs me a lot of time and money that I often regret, I do not really want to give it up. I am interested to read that some of the girls have been struggling with this even longer than I have. I used to think that it would go away as I got older. I see from reading my older sisters that it will not. How to live with it and enjoy it, but not let it distroy me, that is the question.

Stephanie Ann


I am conducting a study about feelings, expriences and changes of transgenered individuals for my final research project at the California School of Professional Psychology. Specifically I am searching for male to female transsexuals. Participants must currently be in idividual psychotherapy, group psychotherapy and/or support group. Living as a female is not a requirement for participating, only the strong wish to live as a female is necessary. Your particpation may help contribute to our understanding of transsexualism and gender identity.

Please contact me if you are interested. You can e-mail me, or leave a message and I call you back (415-267 1877), for further information. You can also send me your address and I will send you the questionnaires.

Mariam


Sheryl I think both you and your wife need to seek help, I can understand how she must feel as have met a few women going though the same thing. Suggestion! Seek Help as soon as possible and mean both you two better seek help, she may end up leaving you, but she gonna need help and support to help her get over the shock and hate to say get over you as you are both going to have to face a break-up. I know nothing about you, your age nor anything, only your e-mail, but from being about TS's/CD's and there S.O.'s for many years all can say is better both seek help and support. You may lose your wife as she may not be able to handle you becoming a woman and can't blame her nor can you expect her to accept you as a woman, but perhaps can be friends if nothing else. But she is going to have to learn to cope with it and perhaps try and get along without you as a man. I am sure she is very hurt and confused right now and this is the most important time to get help before she decides to carry out her suicide whether its because of losing you or cause feels embarrassed about you wanting to be a woman. She is really emotionally hurt right now and know you are too. GET HELP! I wish you both the very best!


My Life Hello I am guess could say a New Girl on the Block or at least on this Web Site so I should introduce myself. Unfornately I was born a biological male, however inside me have always felt should have been born a female and actually thought I was a girl when was real young. I am still physically a male. If I were in my teens today, turn back the clocks and can see how my life would become I would have became a transsexual woman, but over 20 years ago was a lot different than today as back then had no one to turn to. I never dated much as was not quite certain of how my life would turned out, missed out on the chance of getting to know a number of really nice girls, perhaps would have been married many years ago if did not have these weird gender identity feelings which has been with me all my life which have had to cope with which has not been easy. I am now 41 I have prayed to God so many times to please help me, please turn me into a female as felt could no longer go on in life as a man when wished could have been born a female. Yet I don¹t come across feminine, don¹t really act too much as a female and my personality does not change when I put on a dress. And yet have always related better to females than males and rather had only female friends rather hanged out with the girls. Well some of my friends who have hanged out with are CD/TS Girls. I never cross dressed for sexual reasons, never got sexually excited and clothes did nothing for me except felt I was more of what I should have been and trying to express and satisfy my inner soul. But when I make love to a female I feel more like a lesbian making love and almost feel as a real girl as seems the feminine side tends to come out much more. Never had an attraction to other guys nor to other cross genders. I have gone to Gay Bars, Gone to private get together's and dressed up at home, gone for the drives late at night cross dressed, etc. Like many of us have, but have also gone out to public places cross dressed including during the daytime. I have been very lucky not to had any problems. Several years ago I did go on female hormones for 7 months, felt really great about myself and felt was becoming what felt should have, I stopped taking hormones cause met this woman who ended up dating for 1 1/2 years, I told her about myself after dating for a few weeks and put my cards on the table, but this also included showing her some photos of me. We broke up 1 1/2 years later which had nothing to do with my cross dressing but was due to other matters. few years later met this other girl and today I am now married to a wonderful and lovely lady who knows of my inner feelings, she feels that is what makes me the type of a person I am and that is what she loves about me is the person inside. I treat ladies as I would expect to be treated if I was born in there shoes. My lovely wife is 26. I occasionally get dressed up and go out with another CD friend, wife does not mind, she has come along a few times and what the heck at least not out there drinking, picking anyone up. just having the freedom to express what I feel I am inside. We do not engage in Love making as me dressed as a woman as in the bed she is the other one dressed as a woman, but clothes usually never stay on long anyway <smiling> I still have inner female feelings which shall probably never go away, but one person hope shall never go away and that is the Woman I choose to marry and would never want us to part. Always feel free to write to me in e-mail!

Cyber Girl


Many of us are looking for a woman who will accept us, understand us and be supportive of us as our other self. But for those who are bi-sexual or not really wanting to have children an alternative would be to find a nice Transsexual as nothing wrong with that as a a TS Woman is still really a woman. At least that way shall have a supportive and understanding partner who can really relate to. I have consider dating a TS Woman in the past as I almost became a TS Female myself a few years ago and would have probably got myself involved with another TS probably providing she happen to be Post Op.

Cyber Girl


Several years ago on a TV Show which could have been 20/20 but am uncertain there was a story about about a girl who killed someone whose Father became a female. Guess the father had left the family to become a woman and few years later returned as a woman, but the girl would refer her father as being her Aunt which was cool. But guess things got to the Girl between her father and other personal matters in life and killed some guy and is now serving 20 years to life in jail. Not quite certain where this had happened, but did happen here in the USA. I was wondering if anyone knows of/remember ever seeing this story on TV as know it was perhaps several of more years ago. If anyone remebers this or any details, names, etc. as know some CD's like to collect different articles/clippings please do get back to me at my e-mail address Thanks very much!

Cyber Girl


Hi gals, I am a pre-op ts with problem that I hope someone out there may have dealt with. I told my SO the other day of my plans to begin to live as a female full-time and to eventually under-go srs. Her reaction took me by surprise. She said that she didn't marry a female and was going to commit suicide. I don't know if it is just a ploy to keep me a male or not. Help! I need advice quick!

SHERYL LUNCEFORD


This is my first post here, I am looking for somewhere in minneapolis to have my nails done and maybe get my legs waxed. Does any one know of a place or places? I am starting to get little red spots on my legs from shaving and I don't like them. Thanks

sarahanson@gnn.com


If this were a hobby I wouldn't have lost my wife. I couldn't NOT be who I am, for this is who I am and if I don't dress up I go crazy. No one would willingly risk the possible shame and embarassment. Fortunately I am starting to accept myself and realize their reaction is their problem, not mine. larissa

Larissa


Thankyou Cindy for that great spot on the photo page. I wanted all of our sisters here to know not to forget our big Southern Comfort get together the end of September. I hope to meet some of you there and please join in with me and others when we visit the CNN tower. See you there. DANA

deepdana@gnn.com


Is it a hobby? Well, let me put it this way. I have had a hobby, amateur radio, for 45 years. I have memories of CD identity going back about 50 years. I could walk away from amateur radio today if the need arose. I could NOT, however walk away from my identity as Suzi and all it entails. Hugs, Suzi H

suzih


A hobby? For me it is much more than that. A lifestyle perhaps, but in reality, a life. I'm sixty and that means I've been a transgendered person for over fifty years. How could it be anything else? I'm very fortunate to have good health and good bone structure and skin so I can pass for about ten years younger than my real age. I go out a lot, I have a very supportive (younger) partner and I get to spend about 60% of my time as me and it's on the steady increase. My goal is fulltime by 65. So I agree with all those who think that a hobby by way of a description is rather a put-down. Peta Wilson

peta wilson


Wot! Dressing a hobby? I find it is a necessity since my tits have grown so big I involuntarily grab them when I hit potholes! I think I am the worst dressed trany I know, as in completely dirty, ripped, out of fashion, and unco-ordinated. Call me feral trany!

kali@nor.com.au


For me, crossdressing was a hobby as a young boy. My first experience was at 5 years old, but I didn't dress regularly until 11. Since 94, I have increased my wardrobe, femme belongings, and time in drag to several times a week. I like to visit Queen clubs, and even venture out to the street, where the Queens sell themselves... Some ask me if I'm gay, straight, bi, etc.(I do mean Etc.) but I now feel that I take each person, male/female/etc at face value, and appreciate their individual beauty. I do have fear of the crossover life from male to female (starting hormones, social circles, lying about shaved legs/chest). I am a student with a career job, and a 'straight' social life. My closet has two doors, and one is locked. Los Angeles provides many a venue for my interests (singing, beach sports, hiking, reading, cycling, and CDing.) Finally a free spirit, Elayne

Elayne


Hi, everyone, building model aeroplanes was a hobby, dressing in my sister's clothes was a compulsion. I don't think being a transvestite can be classed as a mere hobby. When something is part of your very soul and occupies your every waking moment, it has to be something more. Love, Janey.


Fiona Scott, where are you? I've tried and tried to contact you, but both addresses that you gave me give me back bad address messages. Please try contacting me again. To be on topic. Dressing is a hobby like eating is a hobby.

Vikki


A "hobby" is something that I usually share with my friends, unfortunately I am sure that none of my friends would be interested in seeing me in a blouse, miniskirt, stockings and high heels.Dressing up is something that I do that I really enjoy and would love to do it with my friends (lingerie party??!!), but for now it's something that's deep inside of me that I enjoy doing privately, which is OK, I guess. I sure wouldn't mind having a few friends that enjoy crossdressing, it sure would be fun getting together and having a little fashion show and talking about how great it makes us feel.It would also be great to have help putting on my corset!!!!

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