My Story
by Katia
edited by Cynthia Smith
On day in my mother's closet I found really short pink dress that closed in the back. Then there was this black negligee I still love to wear. It's one of the only pieces of black clothing that my mother had so it's really a thing I have worn a lot during the past nine years. When my mother changed work, the dresses became more interesting. This must have been when I was about 15-16.
From that period I remember three dresses that were really great to wear. The first one was a rather long tight dress to my knees that had transparent shoulders and arms. It was a bit wide but it was really close on my but which I really liked. Then there was a purple cocktail dress with a great decollete. The reason why I remember it is because that was the first time I thought I had really great legs.
The last year of high school we had this trip to Paris where we went to see the Rocky Horror Show. Lots' of men dressed up as beautiful women climbed onto the stage. At that moment my dream was getting bigger and bigger. One other event made my desire even grow more. One day while I was bored, I was watching television and while flipping through the channels I suddenly found a German series in which one of the actresses actually was a man. They showed the whole transformation process from man to woman. At that moment I realized that someone with enough experience could do the same thing with my face. The only problem was how to find someone with enough experience.
I really like to wear pantyhose a lot. Together with a tight skirt dress it really feels great. My favorite color is black, for underwear I'm obliged to wear white 'cause I can't find anything else at home. I don't have any money I can spend on clothing because I have way too big phone bill ( I wonder why that might be). Same problem with make-up. The only thing I can use from time to time is lipstick, nobody in the house has anything else. My mother retired and for now I only can wear what she has in her closet. About three skirts, a couple of jackets and some blouses, but most of them I don't like.
At the moment I'm wearing a green ensemble with a really short skirt that fits wonderfully. My legs feel so good in these massage pantyhose (I want to wear them forever). Actually today is the first day in a long period that I'm wearing makeup and jewelry again. It's also the first time I found shoes I can wear, I've got a 42-43 and normally none of my mother's 39 fit, however she bought a new pair of (green also) shoes that are open in the back so I can easily slip into them.
I haven't been home alone for a long time but today I found the occasion. My big dream is still to have a make over, shaved legs etc. everything you need. Have my makeup done by someone professional and then go out with a couple of other people with the same interest in a gorgeous dress. But I'm not sure if I'll like it. If I don't like the woman I'll be at that moment, if she's not pretty enough, I might have serious doubts about coming out. I want to be good if I come out.
I don't think I would pass as a woman on the street since I have no wig, but long dark brown hair. The problem with my own hair is that it really looks masculine but for my male part I really love it and I don't want to change it. And I don't have a clue how to use hair spray. My legs are way too hairy too. I don't feel like shaving my legs just before summer since then everybody starts making jokes about it. Especially since I'm not really into it yet, but just dreaming about it.
My main problem is that I don't know anybody and I'm not sure if once I saw the other me for real I still want to go on. At the moment I'm studying at a university, I'm almost 21 and I would like to get in touch with other people from Belgium, Netherlands to exchange experiences. Maybe someone who wants to help me with my first real make over and go out together. katia@dds.dds.nl