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© 1996 Transgender Forum
September-October 1996
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Topics included Favorite Halloween, Favorite costume. Are we narcissists? Does political picketing help or hurt us. Many others...
Help. I am desperate. I know tha sound cliche, and old, but it is true.
I need to find a group in the Morris County area of New Jersey where I can be accepted.
I am 6'10" tall, and have a definitely masculine appearance. I want so much to be accepted
the way I wish to dress (in a dress, of course) and I do not have a social life to support
this. I am not as concerned with passing (I wish!) as I am with basic acceptance. My Grilfriend
is very accepting and extremely supportive, but we both want to be able to be with our (new?)
friends when I am dressed. Is there a place I can go? People who I can meet?
Daphnye
The term Narcissistic refers to dwelling on ones self comfort and reverting back to early sexual developement.
Since our sexuality was not recognised and we forced to fit into society's molds, we did not have a chance to begin our sexual dvelopement.
With the realization of our true inner self we were/are able to begin our developement and are appropriate in our behavior when considering our true sexual age.
We are late bloomers, not narcissists persons.
Patti
Our story (my husband is Dawn) is posted this week. To answer those who have been
kind enough to read my account, thank you for taking the time. I have been asked by
a few people if the story is true. YES! I love Dawn, she loves me, and I believe we
will be fine. Yes, I only know of 1 other marriage that is still happy after coming out
(and they have no kids), but we will begin a new trend!
Regards to all....
Wendy
How does one become more feminine? What can one do to look more feminine?
Amber
Nacissists? Statistically, this trait is more true of TV's than TS's, but
not exclusively. I think it's because most crossdressers are attracted to
women and their femme side represents the ultimate expression of femaleness
projected out into that image in the mirror. They want HER to be as
attractive and beautiful as possible because she is to live up to his ideal
image of femininity. She is the Anima and there is an mental/sexual affair
going on. She is a fantasy made real and must look her best so that the
male side as well as the rest of the world will believe she is real.
Revy
I've been walking around for five weeks with my left arm in a cast, after
shattering my elbow in a fall. I quickly found that closing trousers and
putting things in pockets is really hard with one hand--more reason than
ever to prefer skirts and a handbag. But today, working at home all day,
I've dressed fully for the first time since the accident, and I find that
hooking a bra is just as difficult. I haven't even thought about makeup.
Maybe it's a metaphor for our whole situation.
Emily Alford
I just read the story by Wendy "MY GIRL" and it brought tears to my eyes. How true of a story, I wish the very best to Wendy and Dawn. I hope my SO will be that understanding. If you have not read this, You must. HUGS, Terrianne.
Terrianne
I am a lesbian researcher/author, writing a book on coming out, before and after, the pain and the joy. I am using stories from people in the les/bi/gay/trans community. I need your story! To send me your story or ask further questions write to manyfaces@cedar-rapids.net. If you send your story, I ask that I be permitted to edit it to fit the book or to ask additional questions. There is no length constraint, since we each have a unique story to tell, and it may take several words to share our experiences. You may include poetry, as long as it is something you have written about who you are. Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
Carol Riels
Narcissists? It goes with the closet. Many of us were unable -- for most of our life -- to let anybody else into our world. (I tried as a child. It wasn't the best of ideas.)
With nobody in our worlds but ourselves, who else ARE we to admire?
Which is why it's so important to come out of that closet, and take others' hands. Narcissism can be a lonely, lonely thing.
Rose Prescott
First time visitor.WOW! some of these girls ;) are REAL knockouts. I'd like to become real CLOSE
to them, if you know what i mean. they just took my breath away.
how do I become a member?
Lyles
HiH
I'mII'm looking for information about the "TE American Hair Removal System " of electrolysis. It's a transdermal method not using needles...has anyone used the machine or had electrolysis done with is...I'd like some feed back...it's hard to get any quality info about gender issues.
Thanks for any help I can get.
Mickey
We are narcissists. We love looking at ourselves in the mirror and also in our admirers' faces.
We can hardly be blamed for that. It is a work of art that some took a lifetime making, re-making, polishing,...
Who could blame a mother for staring admiringly at her child for hours on end?
Kisses,
Olga.
Olga V. Cambasani
Hi! I'm in the process of putting together an article on support groups for
TGForum's webzine and need your help to complete it. Specifically, I'm
looking for input as to why you do (or do not) belong to tg support groups,
the benefits to you, if any, from belonging and your ideas of what could be
done to make them better. I have "interviewed" several of our tg community
leaders (Carol Beecroft, JoAnn Roberts, etc.) and have their views but
I need some thoughts from the members and non-members. Thanks for your help!
http://pages.prodigy.com/kerricd
Kerri Edwards
I really enjoyed the column by Emily Alford. I hope that our status has
made us more sensitive to women. I think that is true for me, but I
backslide sometimes. Such sensitivity might be one benefit of being
transgendered. Otherwise, I have a hard time finding benefits, except
for the intense pleasure of dressing.
Stephanie Ann
Well maybe we are all narcissists. However, I believe that any really
fashionable woman also has to be a bit of a narcissist. That is pretty
much the gist of the quote from Jane Austin that I posted earlier in the
week. Of course, Narcissus was a man, and I don't want to think of myself
that way, thank you.
Stephanie Ann
My best halloween costume I went as a cheerleader. My wife and her girl freind
dressed me up I wore my favorite nylons leggs shear energy white knee socks black short cheerleader skirt skirt
white top. they both did my hair and makeup. that was the most fun I've had on halloween night.
Diane
Every Halloween my mother would suggest that I dress as a girl. When I was 12 I finally had the nerve to do it and agreed. She dressed me in a red dress with nylon stockings, a slip, red pumps and dangle earrings. She painted my nails bright red, and made up my face with powder, blush red lipstick and mascara. I had the time of my life as I walked around and visited every house in the neighborhood. Some people thought I really was a girl, and my parents and neihgbors all told me how great I looked.
Marianne
I gotta spend ome time in Elizabeth / Princeton NJ in the near future.
Any interesting hetero CD locations worth checking out
or do I have to go to NYC?
Maggie
I am a narcissist because now that I can express my true self I am so incredibly wonderful I almost can't stand it.
Vikki
Vikki
Am I a Narcissist or just plain crazy? After hours spent on makeup and
dressed in my best bra, tap pants, garter belt and stockings, I invite my
twins into my room to whip me into submission. My makeup runs, my tap pants
become soiled and I want to transform into a new life in a different world
where I can be any gender I want depending on my mood. Bless and hugs for
listening.
Barbra
I think we seem to be narcissists, because indirectly we ARE narcissists. I love
to admire myself in the mirror so I can behold my femininity visually. I'd love
to be the woman in the mirror, and I am the woman in the mirror at the same time.
It sort of is a narcissism of the alter ego.
Chris
Chris
It strikes me that like teenagers, narcissism is something we have to go
through as we explore ourselves and our possiblities. It's true for CD people
who finally stop denying and for TS people who say "yes, I am going down
this road." It's natural. But a big part of growing up is that this natural, intense self-
preoccupation turns into calm self-acceptance that we take for granted as we deal with
world and other people. Then the narcissism fades and we can simply be who
we are.
Emily Alford
I Think That We Lose The Inhibition To Be The Person We Would Really Rather Be
When Dressed-up.We Become Someone Where Anything Is Possible.!
joy
Why do so many of us seem to be narcissists? I for one, cannot beleive the transformation from Chris to Christy. I have to keep looking to see if it's real.
Christy Kay
Narcissists? Part of it could be because some of us repressed our true
feelings for so long that now that we are happy and comfortable with who
we are we want to let others know. It may be a bit narcissistic but as a
TG maybe we should be. I really enjoy dressing and letting others see me
for who I am. HUGS to all.
Phyllis
Phyllis
I do not know if narcissism is the right word, but anyway, given my/our situation, who
can can better care of me than myself??? And what is more, is it really narcissism
trying to be a nice lady??? Anyway I like me that way (and I would also like to
know more people that like me that way...) and what I see on the
mirror is sometimes pretty nice. Kisses
Julie
OH how I envy those that can pass, being in my 50's and too large and ugly
to pass I look forward to halloween for that one night I can "get away with it",
my favorite going out outfit is a dark plaid jumper w\white blouse, dark pantyhose
and 3" heels,( how do you girls walk in those things?), a beautiful brown wig and
makeup designed for me by cosmetician friend. Still can't get it good enough for
everday though. Yes, I am very fortunate to have supportive wife and friend.
JAN_RACHAEL
NORTH CAROLINA
JAN_RACHAEL
My note is not exactly about Halloween, but I just ran across this wonderful
passage in a book by Jane Austin, who has become a favorite author since I saw
the movies. She realized back in 1800 that a woman dressed for her own satisfaction.
I am sure that is true for us too. The part that makes it almost Halloween relevant
is that it is from her parody of a gothic novel.
"It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies could they be
made to understand how little the heart of a man is affected by what
is costly or new in their attire . . . . Woman is fine for her own
satisfaction alone."
|
Stephanie Ann
The best one I've worn? I'm limited somewhat due to being very big and
having exactly one person who knows who I really want to be. A long black
pleated skirt, black ruffled blouse, a black jacket, and a tasteful scarf. A
wavy long brown wig, careful makeup, and nice pumps, and I managed, to
actually pass in a drugstore while buying the fingernails to finish the job. This
year, I'll do better, take more risks. My first time admitting I like to do this; first
time online; gotta find a place/org in Louisville to dress more often
Anne
anne
My Halloween favourite? A slinky black Elvira style oufit with great make-up and all accessories, including beautiful lingerie. My girfriend in a top hat, tails and vampir make-up. After the party, a night of fantastic lovemeking on my first Halloween in the USA! Gina, Australia.
I've been crossdressing for over twenty years. Been married for ten years now
and wife still does not know about me. Best Halloween was years ago before I
knew my wife. Needed a costume for a party and casually mentioned to friends
that I should go as a woman. My sister bought clothes for me--a short,black
chiffon skirt; a black satin blouse with silver trim at the collar and cuffs;
black sheer nylons; and silver strappy 4" heels. My best friend's wife did my
makeup--dark, smoky eyes and pouty red lips set off by rosy blushed cheeks.
Everyone was amazed by my transition; where an average looking young man had
once stood was now a sexy, attractive young woman. I felt great and fooled
many people including some friends. I was also propositioned more than once.
I've been out often enough since but never enjoyed it so much.
Love to chat..........Renee
Renee
I am a 50 year old, happily married , grandfather. I
have been fascinated and aroused by the sight of women
in hairdressing situations, especially those involving
drying the hair with the large hood dryers that were
in use when I was a child. My excitement varies
depending on the equipment and items used such as
curlers or rollers, type of hair net and ear coverings,
capes, bibs, towels and design of the dryer. My arousal
is peaked even further if the woman is smoking and/or
receiving a manicure or pedicure while being dried.
My arousal increases as I ponder what her sensations
might be such as how uncomfortable it must be during
long drying sessions, does she perspire causing her
makeup to run, etc., etc., and is she as aroused by her
situation as I am by observing her.
With my recent exposure to the Internet, I have
discovered the descriptions of Crossdressing and I am
puzzled by the possibility that I may really desire to
be in her clothes,in her situation,experiencing what
she is experiencing, not just aroused by the scenes I
have described.
I would appreciate suggestions and discussion from anyone
interested in my situation.
Jess
Jess
Can anyone tell me who won the raffles at the San Francisco Gender Fair a few weeks back. I have tried to find out but to no avail, could someone give me that info? Thank You! hccc52a@prodigy.com
Mark
The best Halloween costume was a sequined gown, with my reddish-brown wig, heavy eye makeup, and bright red lipstick. It was great fun.
Fran
Halloween! Coolness!
Ok, my favorite Halloween costume was when I went out as a female comic
book character named Death, and I imitated her black body-hugging clothes --
in this case, a tight lace mini-dress, and wore her silver ankh around my
neck as is her trademark. My makeup was perfect and when my girlfriend
saw me for the first time, she couldn't believe I did it myself! My long
hair was styled and when I entered the party, my girlfriend greeted me with
a kiss. I heard people behind us shout, "Look! There's two lesbians kissing!
I loved that part. I'm still remembered as the hottest chick there! :)
Revy
We all know the price of silicone breast forms. Some of may have seen ads in
women's magazines for a product called Curves. At $129 it's cheaper, but still
costs some bucks. I''ve just seen two ads that promise the same, but a lot
cheaper. One is for Accents,at three payments of $29.95. The address is P.O.
Box 401, Dept SSF116, Van Nuys CA 91408, or 1-800 597 6161. They take Amex, Visa,
MC, and Discover. The other seems astonishing. The product is called ShapeUp
and the cost is S49.95. For MC and Visa orders call 1-800-345-6602. For
check and money order, add $7.95 s and h and send to Beauty Systems, Dept.
I.9, PO Vox 810, Solana Beach CA 92075. Additional information can be
gotten on 619 481 9892.
Francesca
I am a transgendered man , and I think its good that there is some support out there for us tg's. I hope it will erase all the blatant ignorance in this world, by a sometimes very cruel cultural society
Matt Greene
Favorite Halloween costume? I like to go as a "bad dream". . .you know, the one where you're out in public and everyone knows you're a guy in drag? On Halloween I can do this and not feel bad about it. Which is part and parcel about the other question about demonstrations. . . I don't want to masquerade as someone else; I want to be just me. On Halloween (3 days away) I can drag myself into the public forum and not worry about who might know I'm male. Dennis Rodman can do this any day. I get to do it one day a year. . .
giorgio
My favorite Halloween night was three years ago. A local bar was having a "La Cage" night and anyone crossdressed was let in for free. My wife did my makeup and helped me dress up in a mid-calf black dress with matching heels. We went to the bar and I was complimented by quite a few of the women there. I had such a great time I didn't want it to end. This year it looks like the maid will be making an appearance..... My love to all. Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!
P.S. Tara me luv! *kisses*
Linda/NYC
Favorite Halloween Costume...has to be this year's costume. My wife and I went to a party this weekend as Lois and Clark...and I got to be Lois! It was my first time out dressed...and it was great. Stylish makeup, a great new Anne Taylor suit, and a hip wig made me the star of the party. People had no idea it was me dressed as the attractive young lady...and were stunned to find out there was a man underneath the great costume. What a great party!
Have a great Halloween -- Donna Kelly
Donna Kelly
My halloween costume was a beautiful black evening dress with glitter and
see through mesh panels around the shoulders and 19" from the waist. My SO
was, and is, very supportive in her (his) double breasted suit, tie and
suspenders. This was truly crossdressing. This was a great experience for
me to show up at (of all mucho places) a Harley Owners Group party. My SO
wants me to be more overt and has suggested shopping trips and going out to
dinner in drag, rather than drab. At 50 I am still inhibited about letting
others see me for who I am even though I have accepted this gift. Having a
crossdressing SO in a heterosexual relationship is the biggest christmas
gift any TV could beg for. She is at ease in advising me of stance, walking
and other conduct befitting the woman I like to be.
As for PICKETING!! If done with to much trashy drag queen overtones, it may
result in negative publicity. Support the annual L,G,Bi & TG freedom day parades and act like
the lady you want to be recognized as. Lindsay.
Lindsay, Mtn View, Ca.
Tonight it is October 28, just two days before Halloween. There is a full moon tonight and with every full moon that I see, I’m reminded of the Werewolf for who on this night changes in the monster that he really is. As with him each time that there is a full moon I too wish to change. No luck so far.
This time is different though because on coming out to the Better Half I feel like the Wolf, trapped in a cage surrounded on all sides by iron bars which despite my best efforts will not move or even give a little. I do have an out though and it’s sure fire way. It will solve everything.
Dawn
I think my Elvira mistress of the dark. I look great and felt great. The
makeup was done by a dancer friend of mine. She even boeeowed the outfit
for her party. Hugs to all
Phyllis
Well ...I would have to say that My "CATWOMAN" costume was the best --Because Cindy Chose it for the Halloween Pictoral --Lead in Photo (below). But this Halloween starting tonight, 10/26/96, I will be wearing my New Dominatrix Outfit to a party , alsoI will be at partys Wed -Thur, and next Saturday . I just bought a new pair of Platform Thigh High lace up boots,with 6in. Stilletto Heels at the Dressing For Pleasure party we attended Oct. 17 -20 in New Jersey. I will wear that with my Skintight Leather mini, Long Black Leather Gloves, Black Leather Bodysuit, Seamed Danskin Fishnet Stockings, My Studded belt and Bracelets, Exotic Makeup with Long Dramatic Eyelashes, Jet black Mid Back Wavy Hair, Red-Red Lips with Gloss. Lets see if I can turn a few heads like that!!!! Maybe win a contest !! --I have before Thanx Girls and Thanx to Cindy for her "HALLOWEEN Pictoral" I Love Showing off ! ...Roxanne
Roxanne
My best costume was the one I used this year, because I was out in public as a woman. I was a Harem Girl and won third palce in my category. It was also at a PPOC party. Tonight will be to a basically straight party. But I will will be dressed in a short black skirt and leopard tie up.
Roxane
I a 45 year old tv with around 40 years experience; but still in the closet-
and its driving me crazy- What does this have to do with Haloween- I have
not shared this with my wife- but I think she knows and approves-I think
she has bi tendencies. Anyway- this halloween she is meeting me in NYC
while I am on business- we're going to a party- I hope she's not too
surprised! I've been preparing already - shaving etc. I been shaving my
legs for months-no comment from my wife- but a lot of leg touching in bed-
rubbing etc- I sometime think I'm a little crazy to go through with this-
but Karen keeps taking over my - I'll post the results- lovev to hear any
comments and suggestions
Huggs
Karen
Karen Zelm
If you are reading this you are interested or part of the Transgender Family.
If you live in Southeastern Ontario, I would like to here from you.
Why? It time for the Transgender Community in the Kingston, Bellville, Brockville, Peterborogh areas to come alive.
HOw? Let me know who you are and were you are, Contact:
Gender Metaphor
829 Northwest Road,
Suite 715
Kingston, Ontario
or
genmet@adan.kingston.net
or join me and my friends for coffee every morning at TG Chat daily from 5:30 to 7:00 EST am daily
HUGS
Michelle Renée
Gender Metaphor
Kingston, Ontario
Canada
Michelle Renée
Pickets CAN serve a usual purpose by making us more visible, but any
benefits can be wiped out if the pickets themselves project a negative
image of transgendered people. I think a more effective way to educate
people about transgendered people is simply to come out of the closet and
TALK TO PEOPLE on a one-to-one basis.
After I transitioned in May, I wrote
letters and sent pictures to my
former employer and the crisis center where I volunteered and asked that
they be posted for my former co-workers and sister volunteers to see. I
got several nice letters and telephone calls in return -- all supportive.
I offered no apologies for who I am -- I simply explained what was going
on in my life. I transitioned on my job with no problems, and discussed
the issue with any of my co-workers who expressed curiosity. I also was
open in discussing my transsexualism with sister volunteers at the
suicide and crisis center for which I volunteer my time here in
Albuquerque. Again, everyone was supportive.
In fact, I was recently
elected to the organization's board of directors. I have discussed
transgendered issues with three of my professors at the University of New
Mexico -- both in person and in papers. Although none took me up on my
offer to discuss transgendered or transsexual issues in class, all
included information I supplied (included my objections to inaccurate
textbook treatments) in lectures. I have made a lot of new friends since
I stopped hiding and began living. You can help people better understand
transgendered people by simply TALKING TO THEM with pride, confidence, and
honesty. People pick up attitudes quickly, so don't be ashamed of who you
are. Good luck!
MRupe
Picketing, yea or nay. As an implementations person by profession, let's make an assumption. We will Picket. Purpose?
To make a positive public display resulting in greater societal acceptance of our T-ness. To piggy-back on sallyanne's (?) posting, what people remembered about the NY Times coverage of such an event was that a bunch of men were in drag. We all know that this has a negative connotation and that the likleyhood of a similarly structured repeat would have similarly negative public impact. How do we IMPLEMENT a positive public display (not a picket- you come up with a positive euphemism) that will attain the required objective? I've got an idea, let's hear yours. I see the primary obstacle as potential negative press. Why? Pictures speak a thousand words. Take the visual away from the press as a weapon. Let a few dedicated T's come as genetic fathers, husbands, wives. The so-called "normal" elements of society standing up for the right to be transgendered. Of course the logistics of the event would need to be worked out- What is the best way to communicate the purpose? Verbage on the signs? Pictures?
Lauren
I am looking for a cd,ts,tv friendly doctor in the minneapolis MN area. Any replys would be very helpful. Sara
Sara Hanson
Picketing, like any other form of communication between people is going to be effective
20% of the time. As in public speaking you are addressing a population of 100 people, of those 100
40 like what you are saying or are a part of your "movement", 40% are against your statement and
will not be swayed from their beliefs. The most picketing can hope for is to reach the 20% that is
left, who have not made up their minds pro or con to your statements. Picketing can raise the
awareness of the public to our lifestyle but, it can also backfire very publicly on world news
especially when something goes wrong. The wrong may not be of our makeing but, the news
media cares only for headlines. Bottom line, use pickets wisely, and have a plan for when it all
goes wrong.
Cynthia Roberts
I belive picketing is a useful way for our community to be accepted. It shows
people that we to are human and have the same dreams, wants and needs as
everyone else. Another importaint aspect is education to show people that we
are not the freaks that they think us to be. I belive as time goes by that we
will be accepted by the general population.
Nina
Yes, but I would like to add that picketing and demonstrations can be
used for evil as well as for good. If you feel it necessary to picket
make sure it is for a cause the is morally sound. Picketing for an unjust
cause may do more harm than good.
Suzanna
The answer is YES !!! If we stay in the closet, we'll never be accepted
as true human beings, we'll always stay a subject of laughing for
narrow-minded persons. From my own experience, I can affirm that, by explaining,
fighting against common places, lot of people can open their eyes. If women and
gays stood still, world could never be changed !
Ioanna
Ioanna
Reading the comments from Patti and Kerri, I've got to agree that commmunity action
will do more to show society that we are a valuable part of the community, and not
some side show in the circus. I've always felt one gains more by being supportive
than by being confrontive.
Christy Kay
Politics do not make good bed fellows. Positive community action will yeild
a more positive image. By helping the homeless, working in soup kitchens,
cleaning up the waterways, roadways etc. the statement "that we want a better
place for all to live" will be made. When you step into a negative light
it taints the picture. Actions that support a positive moral, ehtical legal
action will do far greater good. As a group, we have a great deal of social
education to do. As women, are actions need to be nurturing.
Patti
I'm new to the net, and luckily found Dana Gene's page through a special gal in Sweden named Katarina. Since I'm thousands of miles away in Nevada, that seems amazing. I'm so far only out of the closet on the net. At this point the best I can do is look androgynous. I'm having some luck with Evanesce, and a cream Revlon puts out call Eterna 27. To say I thilled would be a gross understatement. (I might have to really come out) My background is journalism, and business. Corresponding with the girls in the TG comunity has been a life saver. In receiving e-mail, and answering it I've learn a great deal about myself. Hugs, Rosemary
Rosemary
I am collecting information for the girls. The results will be made known here and other TG sites. Please E-mail the following information if you will. 1. What types of hormones and the dosage i.e. Premarin @ x.x mg, Progesterone @x mg, Aldactone, etc. etc. 2. Results of hair difference on body, face, and head. 3. Age 4. How long on hormones.
Thanks everyone.
Denise.
Denise
No...Pickets only separate the demonstrator from the audience.
To be truly effective in molding public opinion, one must make the
audience identify closely with the demonstrator.
If you did choose to picket, the best way to do it would be to
dress as conservatively as possible (i.e.: MTF TV in their boy clothes,
etc.)
Ronnie
Hi I would like to know what SRS is and what it does.
Debra Ann
This is all just too amazing. Its wonderful. I don't know where to start. There
is such gentlness, beauty, niceness and sweetness.. I'm brand new and need
someone to talk to. I want the whole operation. Though, I'm really diffrent,
'She' is not a sexy gurl like the others, just a quiet, shy, kindof scraggly
little thing, but thats what I prefer. Not a problem with clothing or anything
else because I make my clothing and shoes and collect vintage clothing for
'Her'. Wow there is such a peace, contentment and calmness in my heart now. Is
this natural? Guess I should write on it, as I am a writer. I hope someone who
has made the transition will befriend me, because I don't plan on telling current
friends. That life is behind me, I finally like me. Oh yea, I'm straight as an
arrow, but the mannerisms are natural and shocking people.
Bye for now,
Crissa
Crissa
My first time out in public was on Halloween,and my 1st wife and her friend
got me all dressed up.While i was there a man i no kept hitting on me,to
my suprise my wife kept telling me to go for it so i did.It was FANTASTIC.
Debra Ann Johnson
It's hard to think of all the role models, I've had so many.
But specifically, I think of Marlee Matlin (deaf actress),
Cathy Hearn (U.S. Olympics), Jocelyn Bell (scientist) and the
late Judith Resnick (astronaut).
spunky
spunky
I DON'T SEE PICKETING AS A WAY TO ELICIT A FAVORABLE RESPONSE FROM THE 'STRAIGHT' COMMUNITY, OR THE OTHER PARTS OF THE LARGER 'GAY' COMMUNITY. ( I *HATE* LABELING)!! TO ME, PICKETING REPRESENTS A 'BUNCH OF FANATICS/FREAKS TRYING TO POUND THEIR IDEAS INTO SOMEONE'S HEAD', WHETHER I AGREED WITH THEIR POSITION OR NOT.
PERHAPS IF THE PICKETING WAS DONE IN AN EXTREMELY TASTEFUL WAY, THE IMAGE OF " A BUNCH OF DRAGS QUEENS WITH BIG SIGNS" WON'T BE ACHEIVED. SELDOM HAVE I SEEN A RESPECTABLE PICKET LINE; THE NEWS PORTRAYS THE 'LINE' AS A TICKING TIME-BOMB, WAITING FOR POLICE INTERVENTION.
IT'S USEFULNESS IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE SERIOUSNESS OF IT'S PARTICIPANTS.
OBVIOUSLY, I'M OPINIONATED, BUT I HOPE I'M ALSO BALANCED ENOUGH IN MY REMARKS TO MAKE SENSE.
Elayne
ELAYNE
I live in Hollywood, CA and I want to meet other young >girls< my age who are serious about their future (ie. college, career, modeling, whatever). A great proportion of the girls I meet are resigned to prostitution, or performing in clubs, which is no long-term career, in my opinion.
We girls MUST stick together, because the world wants to chew us up and spit us out.
There are so many resources to us girls, but so many just don't know. It doesn't matter where you live, there is ALWAYS someone there to help, or listen.
Your's truly, Elayne
Elayne
I was wondering, if there are any post-op TS's, who had recto sigmoid transplantation done.
All I've heard about the results (second-hand) is negative. I am interested in the procedure
myself and would like an honest general opinion. Thanx.
Ellen Morris
I had originally changed my name to Stacie, as well as my driver's license (and to reflect the the change in gender to female)and was successful in changing all my other important records. I sought help from high sources in changing my birth records. I was taking hormones, but not yet cross-dressing or in the process of electrolysis. I was scheduled for a lyrenectomy to boot; I, nonetheless, turned away from it all...it is extremely hard to be gender dysphoric - I ended a military career to confront it. You can gather from this message that it's not over...any suggestions.
Daniel N. Flaherty
I agree wholeheartedly that the tg community should become more active and
visible to the general public and that we must do something to overturn its
perception of us as perverts and freaks. Our first and biggest need,
however, is to gain some degree of acceptance, understanding and respect
from society and, especially, our families, friends, co-workers, and
neighbors. While I am not at all sure that picketing and an "in your face"
confrontational approach is the answer to the fulfillment of that need, I
am quite certain that we will never achieve it in our closets. Hugs to all!
http://pages.prodigy.com/kerricd
Kerri Edwards
Although there is a place for open demonstrations, I feel that we t's have been put into a less than favorable light with the recently publicized Transexual Menace demonstrations in Washington DC. For those who did not see it, the New York Times published a photo of a group of t's in the Washington Metro. Unfortunately, people with whom I spoke who had seen the photo recalled that the t's were men in drag and did not recall much about the article itself.
When homosexuality became less of a closet issue in the mid-1970's the Times published several favorable stories about gay males who looked like normal people. I believe that this early sympathetic publicity helped all gays become more accepted by the population at large than would have been the case, had the Times not signaled its approval by using sympathetic artiles and graphics.
Yes, there is a time for demonstrations. But, first, we need to become viewed as normal men or women who happen to have been born with a birth defect corrected by surgery and pharmacueticals.
Sallyanne
Picketing and demonstrations have always brought attention to the public
eye, regardless of the cause. I'm a firm believer in espousing information
on the TG community whenever and wherever possible. Picketing and demonstrations
is just one more way to bring us all in the TG community before the public
eye. If it wasn't for the demonstrations in the late 1960's against the war
in southeast asia who knows when it would have ended. Kent State was a turning
point in American history. Though our cause is not as important as the
demonstrations against the war it is important to all of us, our families,
and friends.
SABRINA
sabrina@mercury.net
I would appreciate any info on the following: (1) Possible coverage of SRS
expenses by MediCal(the California Medicaid program.) (2) Any advice regarding
having an orchiectomy(surgical removal of the testicles), including MediCal
coverage. (3) Electrolysis in the genital area in anticipation of SRS. (4) The
use of Estinyl compared to Premarin.
Thanks very much for your attention.
Rose
HUVITAV, KAS KEEGI KA MAAKEELES JULGEB JUTTU TEHA? KUI JAH, SIIS TEE SEDA KIIRESTI JA ANNA ENDAST TEADA. OLEN ÜSNA VANA; ÄKKI SUREN ENNE SINU TEADET ÄRA NING EI SUUDAGI ÄRATUNDMISEST RÕÕMUSTADA. MUSI!!!
CATHY
Debbie,
I do admire you. You are really brave. I agree again ( the main topic ).Don't you have a home page? You should have one. Take
care.
Katrina
Role model would have to be Dennis Rodman and his high-camp drag routines. I mean, is this guy having a good time or what?!! The guy is so up front about his cross-dressing that he flaunts it rather than masquerading as a woman. So I guess I don't really want to pass as a woman, I just want to dress like one. . . What's that all about?
giorgio
VCR ALERT!! again. . . The Learning Channel (TLC) has been running and re-running an extended (2 hr?) documentary about an SRS over a period of about 7 years. No, I didn't happen to get the name, but TLC advertises these specials regularly. (I'm not a shill for TLC either. . . ) ciao,
giorgio
HI.
New to West Hollywood and the TG scene.
Looking for friends and resources. Particularly interested in a
reccommendation for a place to get a makeover. Looking forward to Halloween. :)
Sean
Picketing can be good or bad depending on the circumstance. Usually it is used as a means of confrontation. I have a hard time with confrontation but if the cause is just I'll be there. Picketing is also used to call public attention to a percieved injustice. Do we wish to be that public? I think we need to be. No rights were ever won by sitting in a closet wishing. The only way to be truly accepted by society is to be in their face all the time untill nobody has a second thought about it. The problem is: do you want to be the ground breaker? I'm at a point in my life where I have to break some ground in this small town or move. A lot to think about. All I can say is if you are going to picket, wear comfortable shoes.
larissa (did I ramble or what?)
larissa
For certain occasions it picketing might work. Usually the media turns it
into a circus. I feel that writing to politicians and getting involved
in the community is more helpful to our cause. we need to educate people.
Picketing usually has a negative effect. People need to be aware of us in
a positive light. Hugs to all.
Phyllis
No, picketing is self defeating. The public looks at you as a trouble maker. The way to show our true value would be at community events and parades. Show how good, and kind we are as a community. Either way it forces us out in the open, and to many of us that would mean loss of jobs and family. If we must make a statement, let it be one of peace and coexistance rather than uproar. HUGS, Terrianne, Jacksonville, FL.
Terrianne
A group of us from Tracks in Tampa are going to New Orleans this weekend - (Oct 19 - 21)
Looking for good drag show / club / restaurant locations in the "Big Easy".
Staying at the Best Western in the quarter - under the name Debbie Allen - call or write with any
suggestions on where to go. Thanks.
Debbie Allen
To the person who sent me a "nasty rude ignorant letter" who had to send it anon -
come out of your hole and have the guts to put your name behind your opinions.
I have received thousands of letters over the past 6 months with TGF and this is the only one received
that was "hurtful". Why do people take delight in "hurting others" with words that
are insensitive. To that person I say - I do the best I can and am free to voice my opinions as I please. I dont ask you to agree with them - or even read them -
all you have to do is move on to something else. It's like going out in drag - for every negative look or comment -
there are a hundred others which are positive. There's always "one ******* in a crowd !
I think I know who this person is - for she told me she lives in Tampa - I believe she belongs to a local support
group I once attended - I say " identify yourself " and find out more about Debbie - you might just find she is a
good person with all the same problems you face every day.
Whoever you are - I wish you good luck as you go about your business.Try to be accepting / tolerant / and a decent human being.
Debbie Allen
Like ALL other minority groups in history WE have to be as visible and vocal as possible.
Political action groups / demonstrations / picketing etc are all essential to our long term acceptance to all of society.
We in the USA have it a lot better than most countries - all we have to do is "get out there and be seen and heard" and our constitution
gives us the freedom to do all of these things openly. In many countries - like Turkey - they lock the transgendered up and torture them.
Our struggle must be world wide and ALL of us must help in every way we can - using every opportunity
to gain our acceptance in society. One day anyone should be able to "wear a dress - choose our gender" openly without fear of
discrimination in any form. Each of us can do our part by going out into the real world dressed as females
and "acting like ladies at all times". It does not matter how realistic you look - it's the persons freedom and God given right to dress as we decide
and go about our personal and business lives as we please.It's what inside a person that truly counts - not how they look on the outside.
So I say to all of you still in the closet - get out and be "all the woman you want to be". Love Debbie.
Debbie Allen
My role models are Cynthia and Linda Phillips who run the Texas Tea Party. I went to
these events for 3 years - last one about 4 years ago - so I have not seen them for a long time.
These 2 people have helped more people than any other couple I know - spend most of their time
working to save marriages / help people through their sexual identity crisis / set a standard for
cross dressing and understanding from "anyone who will listen".
When I was going to these Tea Parties I was struggling through my own identity crisis and they helped me
more than I could ever tell them. I will always remember Cynthia telling me "always be a lady - 'pull down that skirt Debbie' - be proud of who and what you are ".
I am hoping to return to the event this next Feb in Tx - and I look forward to seeing them again - and hearing those magic words " you have come a long way baby !".
Second role model is a transexual here in Tampa who did incredible drag shows - cartwheels across the stage in a skin tight dress and 4" heels.
She now has walked away from this past life - had her sex change - looks fantastic and now runs an upscale hair dressing salon and lives her life as a total female.
She went back to school - developed a whole new life - and did all the things I wish I had the courage to do.
And a host of others like Cindy Martin who runs TGF - who provide a support system for thousands of us who
look forward to a new issue every Monday morning. Few people know how she finds the time and money to set this publication standard
for all of us. She is a true role model for ALL of us. Debbie Allen
Debbie Allen
Anyone know how to get in touch with the organizers of Fantasia Fair in Provincetown, MA starting THIS weekend???
Work takes me to Boston this Saturday, and then I have the week off unexpectedly, so I have a room reservation at the Provincetown Inn, but no information on how to register for the "Fair"!!!
Your help would be greatly appreciated, I am looking forward to my first extended venture en femme!
Thanks in advance for any and all help!
Barbara Curry
Anyone know how to get in touch with the organizers of Fantasia Fair in Provincetown, MA starting THIS weekend???
Work takes me to Boston this Saturday, and then I have the week off unexpectedly, so I have a room reservation at the Provincetown Inn, but no information on how to register for the "Fair"!!!
Your help would be greatly appreciated, I am looking forward to my first extended venture en femme!
Thanks in advance for any and all help!
Barbara Curry
My role model is a very attractive middle age woman with whom I work. She doesn't know that I am a cross dresser. I observe he each day at work, and later try to copy her fashion ideas, her mannerisms, and her femininity in general.
Stephanie
There is no single person that I readily indentify as my Role Model, however I do witness traits in many people, nameless and otherwise, that I aspire to develop in myself. Of the commonly known people, I would need to include a lengthy list of musicians/singers. Many a song has helped me through bad times... To a degree my mother. But no _one_ sticks out in my mind right now...
Aaion
Help!!
I'm a TG in LA, and I've just landed a job as a woman on Melrose Ave (Gattos, 7406 melrose Ave). My dilemmas are body/facial hair, and voice
I'm experienced enough as a *woman* (hence, getting hired as a woman), but voice lessons and electrolysis are essential.
I need input on voice training; my manager, another TG says her once beautiful singing voice is gone because of her raising it I sing as well, and want to take care of my voice as I learn to raise it to a more feminine level.
Secondly, I need valuable info on LASER electrolysis, from patients, or experienced individuals. Email is Wylie001@cerritos.edu. I hope to get an educational website at Geocities, soon.
Hope to hear from you all.
Elayne.
Elayne Thomas
bi-gender might be bi my role model is my sex theropist i'm seeing. I also ways look at him for support and ideas.
Samantha
bi-gender might be bi want to be both sexes My role model is my theropist becasue I turn to him for ideas and like a lot of the things he have to say about transgender people
Samantha
Help! Has anyone heard of a TG event in Provincetown MA called "Fantasia Fair" ?
..and if you have, can you recommend a TG friendly hotel that I might stay at for a
womanly weekend in this community during the Halloween weekend? It would be
really nice to find a roomate, so we could help each other through all the possibili-
ties, but that might be too much to ask for...or is it? : ) Thanks!
Shelley
Shelley
I am writing this to thank cindy for FINALLY having a web page for TG and TS like
myself who have run into roadblocks in the gay/lasbian/bi community whom have NO
idea on how to proceed with the delicate transition form one sex to another.
I just wished that we could organize ourselves into a cohort group so that we
can reap the benefits of women's liberation and the alternative communities with,
which, we are still overlooked. I hope that we will someday overturn the decisions
of the biased society that makes us lower than the gay/lesbian community ONLY because
we have no UNITY.
Brandi C MacDonald
I would imagine, like alot of TG individuals when you speak of role models JoAnn Roberts
comes to mind often. People change and develop over time and while JoAnn is still
there as an icon to me in my life, I have changed considerably in the past year due in
no small amount to JoAnn Roberts. My present role model is a performer in Kansas City,
Missouri named Loretta Martin. She is a true artist and friend, who has helped me
develop into the person I am today, able to "pass" and not afraid of being me. Yes she
has even had me performing on stage.
Cynthia Roberts
I have multiple role models. I will merely give the categories that I use and not
all the names. For example, I have a fashion role model, a style one, a manner
and/or conduct one, a personality one and a lifestyle one. This seems to work for
since no one person can be all things to anyone. If pressed to name a single
person, I would have to go with Rita Moreno. A classic fashion and style person
with a great personality, wit and charm. She looks great in anything she wears
and besides, she is of my generation. And if you don't know what that is then you
are too young to appreciate real class, style and feminine ladylike behavior.
preop@gnn.com
My ROLE MODEL is Rebbecca H. Heels from Versatile Fashions, Publications -- Kinky Contacts -Reflections magazines!! Rebbecca is the MOST Kinky EROTIC Exotic TV,s I have ever seen , and try to duplicate her LOOKS and outfits as best as i can ! MY 2nd choice is , Cherysee St. Claire , that modeled for Versatile Fashions and made a few Vidieos, -Me and my Domonatrix wife have MET her at "DRESSING FOR PLEASURE" party in New Jersey, and SHE is an ABSOLUTE -- "DOLL" --Thanx Girls -ROXANNE from Connecticut
ROXANNE
My best Halloween so far was last year, when I went to a straight bar en femme that I had been going to for a few years in boy mode. I had a fancy cat mask made out of feathers that I put on before I went in. The place was crowded. I ordered a beer with a glass and straw so I could drink it with the mask on. No one could figure out who the new blond lady in the mask was.
One of the waitresses who knew me came to the bar to place an order, and I beckoned to her, and as she approached, I took off the mask and said Hi. She had a kitten on the spot ;-))) She said you look great! Your beautiful! The commotion caused the bartender to take another look, and he recognized me too.
They had a costume contest and I won 1st prize of $50. The restaurant staff did the judging. The
bartender said that he had told one of the waitresses that she should vote for the lady in the booth,
and she said why? She's not wearing a costume-Its just a woman. He said take another look. she did
and voted for me. What a night!!
Marianne
I don't really have any individual role models but I admire all the people who have fought for individual rights. I admire every one who has come out of any sort of closet. Some day we may all be able to leave or prisons of shame and unacceptance by others and just be ourselves.
Larissa
My earliest role models were the people on The Brady Bunch, in
particular Christopher Knight (Peter) and Susan Olsen (Cindy). Believe it
or not some of my story ideas were used during the 5th and final season and
during A Very Brady Christmas. (Remember when Cindy wrote a letter to
Joe Namath pretending to be Bobby?)
Later on I was imitated female superheroes. Sabrina the witch was
another hero of mine. However, I think most of my role models were
people, male and female, that I have met over the years in my every day
life I could write page after page about them.
Considering my connections with Hollywood and The Brady Bunch I hope
I'm a positive role model myself.
Suzanna
I'm going to be visiting Phil in a week and Houston in a couple of weeks. What is the attitude of the local PD and people to us card carrying TS and my other sisters in this world?
*Hugs & Kisses**
Barbara Lynn Page
Barbara Lynn
I don't have a single role model. If anything I have to look at all the transgendered people
who've come before me and made my way easier. Many of them suffered the indignity of being
called mentally ill, and still pressed forward. We owe a debt of gratitude to these people.
Their pain and suffering has alleviated much of ours. And our following in their footsteps,
will help those that follow us. As I was once tasked by JoAnn Roberts when I offered to pay her
back for helping me, she said, "Don't pay back, pay forward, help the next person." I've tried to do that.
Christy Kay
Over the years I have bought a lot of bad clothes and accessories.
Now I go out shopping for myself. If the sales staff won't accept me
I simply go somewhere else that cares to give my money to.
Having a professional hairstylist help select the correct wig is important.
So are the correct size brest forms. Here in Seattle, I go to a large department store.
The great lady in the linqerie department showed me what the correct size bra I should
"really" be wearing and suggested the most normal size forms to me after letting me
try on various sizes. I dresses, they know my size and bring me as many items as I
want until I'am happy. The cosmetic ladies are terrific too!
Patti
It sure seems as if the vast majority of us have had an early chilhood experience at Halloween, that set the stage for the rest of our lives. My own experience is no different. I was eight years old when I had the first opportunity to go out as a girl. My two older sisters and my Mom thought I would make a convincing girl,. Of course, I really objected to this treatment (HA !) I have dressed enfemme for every Halloween since. When I was 14, I dressed as a French maid and accompanied my sisters to a party. They introduced me as their cousin. My sisters encouraged me to flirt and see how far I could get as a girl. Boy, did I have fun !! No one ever suspected and we never told.
Danielle duBois
During my freshman year at a local college, I decided I wanted to go to the Halloween dance. Costumes were, of course, encouraged. :)
I talked about it with my sisters and mom, but (as far as they knew) I didn't know WHAT to go as. Mother suggested I go as a girl-- my
heart LEPT! :) I played it cool and said that I would, if I couldn't find anything else. Needless to say, I didn't try too hard. <g>
The "big night" came. My youngest sister (six years my junior) did my makeup and styled my wig. I wore a black dress with gold buttons,
and my sister loaned me a grey-and-black jacket that went perfectly with the dress.
I arrived a few minutes early to find that campus security wouldn't allow anyone into the gym until 7pm sharp. As I stood there waiting,
along comes my lab partner, walking with a few of his female friends. As he walked past me, he glanced at me and moved on. "Fine! DON'T
say 'hi'," says I. He did a double-take. "Bill? Is that YOU?" he asked. "I thought you were just an ugly girl!"
Well, considering the source, I let the "ugly" part pass. I was happy that somebody that knew me thought I was a GIRL! :)
The evening went fairly well; another of my classmates stared at me all night, but I suspect that was because of a few "spirits"... The
next day was the best- the only woman in my class (Electronics. Go figure.) was talking to a few others about the night before, and the
subject was me. "He didn't look bad. He dressed really conservatively," she said. I stood there, around the corner, listening.
Those two things made my week!
______
|ammy
My best Halloween is about three weeks away! I will be cossdressing for the first timetime, and can hardly wait!
We are going to a local club that is TG friendly, and also to a friends party.
I have (or am excitedly watching the mail for) most of the "Stuff" I need. Delightfully, my wife is very positive about this this experience. I'll let everyone know how things turn out! Any advice?
Thanks!
Tracy
It was a year ago, Halloween. I was in New Orleans for a much-needed vacation.
A pre-op friend and I (clinically diagnosed as a candidate for GRS--I couldn't bring myself to do it) had gone to the Round-Up, a gay bar just off Bourbon St..
I was more than a little paranoid that night as, despite the fact that I do go out, this was the first time I'd had to do so on a bicycle, my rental car have blown a bypass hose (ahem).
I was wearing a short, black vinyl mini, white lace, long-sleeved, high-necked body suit, and spike-heeled pumps. Believe me, if you think learning to "Walk" in them is a challenge, try riding a mountain bike.
We go hung up at the corner of Chartes Street by the seemingly endless traffic.
When a break finally came, I "pumped" the pedals as hard as I could to clear the intersection.
Wouldn't you know it; One of my shoes fell off in the middle of the intersection.
For what seemed an eternity, I stood on the sidewalk, one shoe in hand, waiting for a break so I could retrieve the shoe in the street.
I didn't think I would ever get a chance when a short (5'-8"), heavy set (180 lbs. maybe) bald headed guy about 50 approached me.
"May I help," he asked?
Before I could answer, he stepped onto the street, waving his arms to stop the traffic, permitting me enough time to get my shoe.
Replacing them on my foot, we walked together to the Round Up, he pushing my bicycle.
Although not physically attractive, he was so cute and so nice, I really appreciated him.
At 5'-9" and 130, I'm very passable.I'm not really attracted to men but am VERY attracted to the concept of being attractive to them.
We talked, over beers for about an hour, and the subject of my wardrobe came up.
He asked if I had any latex and I replied that I had brought my high-waisted, red mini with me.
Shyly, he asked me if it would be too much trouble for me to wear it for him and be "romantic" with him.
I told him I thought he was cute but that under no circumstances would I engage in any kind of "genital" satisfaction with someone I barely knew.
He told me he understood and agreed but pleaded with me to wear the rubber skirt for him.
He drove me back to my room at the inn, and waited as I went to the restroom to don the skirt he wanted, so much, to see me in. I wore a gossamer, white poets blouse with it.
Returning to the bar, he feigned over me all night, buying me drinks, and showing off the fact that I was his date.
I was so grateful, as the night
Stefi
VCR alert! According to TV Guide, Cinemax is going to show a docu-
mentary about 4 hetero CD's called "All Dressed Up and No Place to Go".
It airs on Thursday, 10/17 at 11:30 PM EDT and again on Friday, 10/25
at 1:30 PM EDT. I've never heard of this film, but it sure sounds in-
teresting!
Stephanie
After hours and hours of preperation with the help of a very special lady, I went to my first pary as a woman. We arrived at the party and the door was opened, I was scared to death because I was out for what others considered a lark but what I knew was the first time in public for me. I walked into a room full of strangers nad heard a woman across the room say, " Hey who's that and why isn't she in costume? Needless to say I had a wonderful time and went home the proud winner of best costume for having fooled so many. I am a long way from being able to pass now but this is a memory I will always cherish.
anne
I met my friend Steph Matthews on her first real time out. Since then,
I've watched as she's become a major shaker in the Community, and most
importantly, she's taught me much.
Ronnie Rho
HELLO,
JAY here. I will be brief. P L E A S E if ANYONE can help me...I am trying to find Canary Conn's E-MAIL address, phone number or U.S. Postal address. I met him some years ago. It was nice and I would like to reestablish contact.
I do look forward to a positive response.
Thank you,
JAY
Thank you very much indeed, Debbie. Your advice was a great help. Hugs.
Katrina
Hello,
I will be brief. I am trying to locate Canary Conn. A dear friend from years ago. Author, friend, singer..If anyone might know where she is or can spread the word or my E-MAIL address I would GREATLY APPRECIATE IT.
Wishing you a fine day,
JAY
JAY
I started crossdressing when I was 12. I took my older sister's nylon
panties from the hamper, wore them and fell in love with them. I was
caught but luckily my mother was very understanding. She allowed me to
wear lingerie (panties,slips, girdles, bras) at home. I am 28 now and I
have accepted my crossdressing. It is part of my identity. Crossdressers
should learn to accept and love themselves.
Lydia
My best Halloween was probably very similiar to everyone elses. I finally got
to put on my favorite minidress, stockings, high heels,and did my hair and
make-up perfectly.I then got to walk out my front door and be with other
people, instead of hiding in my own little "closet" known as my house.No one
knew the warm feelings that were shooting through my body that night.They all
thought it was just some costume, but to me it was so much more. I didn't
want the night to end.The one thing good about Halloween is the safety-net
that is out there if you don't quite pass.I could drive in my car and not
worry about getting pulled over and harassed. My 2nd favorite Halloween was
the night I was dressed as a ballerina. I never felt so feminine as when I
wore those tights, leotard and short little tutu. I felt like a little
"Tinkerbell" the whole night. Halloween once a month, what do you say!!!
Veronica
It was Halloween in Illinois in 1955, and being 11 and in the 6th grade, I
decided I was too grownup to wear a costume to school anymore. So when it was
time for "trick or treating" that evening, I didn't have a costume. But my
brother, who was seven, was raring to go, and my mother wanted me to take him
around the neighborhood. So, to give me a costume, she tied a scarf around my
head and applied some lipstick and sent us on our way. I felt uncomfortable
with this arrangement, but said "OK". And I got the anticipated ridicule from
a few friends who recognized my brother and me. I definitely didn't like that.
But, then there were homes where we weren't known, and I distinctly remember a
teenage girl and several mothers talking to me as if I were a girl just taking
her little brother around the neighborhood. I found very much to my surprise
that I liked that. It was really neat. But I didn't dwell on it because it made
no sense of course, and by the next day I was back to being the intelligent,
well-mannered and obedient boy everyone expected me to be.
I'm not so obedient anymore.
Barbara
Barbara Purcell
I've had two wonderful and interesting Halloweens. My first was when I was seven; I was allowed to dress as a girl for the night. My parents couldn't pry me out of the dress for a week....
The second was just a few years ago, I had just begun to come out -- six months in skirts under my belt -- and went to one of the local club's Halloween parties. There was a couple there, crossdressed the both of 'em, and this was THEIR first time out. And suddenly I was a tribal elder instead of a newbie.
Hugs -- Rose
Rose Prescott
What I love most about Halloween is that everyone drops their pretentions and just has fun. On Halloween I wear a nurses uniform (complete with white stocking and cap), and am able to overcome my shyness and ask women to dance whom I wouldn't have the nerve to ask at any other time.
Mary Beth.
Mary Beth Cooper
To Katrina - with no e mail address and her 'beard cover question'.
Any dept store that sells Dermablend foundation products - but it goes on heavy and you have to be very careful getting the right color.
The very best product is available at any costume store - its called "clown white" -
and you put in on over a good skin moisturizer - about a dozen dabs all round you beard area and then blend it in so it looks white ish. Then use your normal "panstick foundation".
I can 'always' tell if a drag queen knows make up by asking the question "what type of foundation do you use ?" If she replies liquid - then I know she
does not know about make up ! All the showgirls use panstick - like Max Factor - but the very best by far is Joe Blascoe - out of Orlando / Vagas / or Hollywood.
Good luck Katrina - I hope you get this and it helps. Love Debbie
Debbie Allen
I like Halloween very much - it is a wonderful time to show off your stuff in places where you might usually never want to go.
When people ask anytime during the year "why am I dressed up in female clothes - I casually tell them I got my dates mixed up and I thought this was Halloween !
It's a great "ice breaker" ! I live at a very exclusive conservative world famous resort hotel / home complex.
I go through the security gate every day as a guy and as a girl - but I have never gone to the "main" complex area with all the restaurants and nightclubs - for fear
that all the people who work or live there might recognize me - and make their own judgements about my sexuality.
Last Halloween I decided this was the perfect day to "show Miss Debbie to my friends who ONLY know me as a guy.
I dressed in a beautiful black classy floor length gown - and had the make up / wig / assessories etc to perfection. I looked
like a very classy redhead out to dinner with a good looking male date. I felt great and I knew every eye in the crowded restaurant
was on me the second I walked in. It was not that I was being 'clocked as a drag queen - it was 'a check out this lady ' kind of feeling !
I loved it and I recognised at once many of the people I see every week as I go about my business as a male.
I made sure the people I knew got a good look - and had a nice meal. Then I went to the nightclub area where I go several times a week and where I know ALL the
waitresses and bar people. My date ordered the drinks and after several minutes I decided to let them know who this pretty gal "realy was" . They could not believe that the guy
they ALL knew so well could "impersonate a female so well". It was fun showing off !
I know they did not believe that this was a "one time dress up session" - but I truly did not care.
It allowed me to go there dressed as I pleased - and have a valid excuse for dressing in female clothes.
Now when I go up there as a guy they all want to know when I will be comming back as a girl.
This 1996 Halloween I plan on going there again for dinner - and this time I am going to give them "real DRAG 101" - one of the club
showgirl costumes. It's a liquid silver skin tight gown - low cut with plenty of cleavage - and flared floor length with tons of silver lace - spannish style !
Heavy drag show make up and hair will complete the costume. I can't wait for their reaction !
So go form it girls - make Halloween YOUR night to show off just how beautiful you are. Love Deborah.
Debbie Allen
When I was 12 I walked from my Junior High school to a nearby
elementary school where my mom was substitute teaching. About everyone
except me was where costumes. Somehow I convinced a 5th grade boy that I
was a girl pretending to be a girl for Halloween. To my delight he told
me how he figured out I was a girl and even gave me a few pointers. When
he asked me if I was in 4th grade or 5th grade I ran away. It's what I
call "the tripple" and, at least for me, a good way to learn what the
general public thinks about cross dressers without actually doing it.
It was fun.
Suzanna
Show Support for Ellen
We have it on very good information that the ABC sitcom "Ellen" starring
Ellen DeGeneres is being bombarded
with hate mail. DeGeneres' character is coming out as a Lesbian on the program.
If you would like to express support for the show address LETTERS to:
Ms Jamie Tarses
Programming Director
ABC Television
2040 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, CA 90067
(310) 557-7300
Cindy Martin
PS: I'm not a major fan of this show, but thought you might like to be advised of the intolerance some people are showing.
I don't know if this qualifies as the "best" thing, but it certainly made a
lasting impression! Two Halloween's ago I went out dressed (in public for
the first time!) and decided to strut my stuff down Santa Monica boulevard
in West Hollywood. I walked one block (I kid you not), and was immediately
propositioned by some guy in a new BMW. He offered me "a ride". I politely
declined, and he drove off. Now a little nervous, I headed back to my car. I
have to say, the whole thing was kind of flattering, in a very bizarre way!
Be warned though girls, I think most "hooker fantasies" can be very easily realised!
Camille
I need some help here folks. I am a post-op M to F (12 years)
and I am also a Registered Nurse at a major University. I am
researching the health concerns/problems encountered by post-op M to
F's. The medical literature has scant information available regarding
the health of our population - and there is virtually no information at
all addressing the long term implications of SRS. Kindly e-mail with
your health concerns/problems: immediately post surgical,
endocrinological, long term metabolic (i.e. muscle loss, bone loss,
thyroid, etc.). Also of intrest would be to hear from the very small
minority who have reversed the SRS (i.e. "returned" to male after the SRS).
The literature is chock full of the psychological, legal, and
political implications of SRS. We know next to nothing about the health
concerns we all face. Thanks in advance....
Kathy BSN RN
My best Halloween ever occurred last year. I happened to be in San Jose,
Calif. for a business meeting and, naturally, took along some of Kerri's
wardrobe. The night before Halloween I was chatting in Prodigy's crossdress
"room" and mentioned that I was in San Jose. Another chattee, Denise
F., said that she lived there! We arranged to meet on Halloween night at
Hamburger Mary's and had a truly great time. Denise and I are now close
friends and I'll be back again this year - the first reunion of what has
become an annual event. http://pages.prodigy.com/kerricd
Kerri Edwards
Lana Clarich
Two years ago I took a chance and went to LasVegas and met some girls there
that were from another city. We dressed up in various costumes, I just happened
to dress as a French Maid. We went to many hotels and several of them had
costume contests which several of my new found friends entered. I was surprised
at how everyone reacted. Not one negative response. One of my friends was a
UNLV basketball fan and we even went to the opening night. Also went to a few of
gay bars and saw some really far out costumes. On the last night, I wanted to wear this dress I had purchased before I left. And so I just wore that to this costume ball at the RIO. One of the organizers forcefully made me enter the costume contest and I ended up as one of the finalists.
I was more thrilled by many of the great comments as I was about winning some of the prize money.
Michele
I am a speech pathologist (30 years) and am the director of a university training program for graduate students. We have a few transgender individuals and I am developing a proper case history form. I need some feedback of proper questions to ask in a sensitive and proper manner. If you would like to review a section of the form for editing and comments, please contact me at my e-mail address. The form is in sections:Name, etc, History(transition type,pre-op phase,surgery schedule),Professional Team,Education/Employment,Vocal History,for example. Thanks for your attention to this posting.MJ
Marilyn
I was about 8 or 9, when Halloween night came and I did not have a costume. My mother
dressed me in my sisters "dress-up" clothes. I went out as a gypsy girl, in a long
swirling skirt, brightly colored blouse, and a gypsy-like head scarf. When I went
to my best friend's house, his mother thought I was a little girl, and told me how
precious I looked. Looking back, it was only a hint of things to follow.
Christy Kay
I am newly awakened to a longing that has been with me for years. I have admitted to my femme side and am interested in exploring it further. I am just starting to begin to commence to select places to shop for the necessary clothing etc. I am shy and hesitant to do so for fear of the hostility. If you know of any favorable shopping locations in the New Hope, Pa area please drop me a line. Thank You Patti
Patti
I went out as Elvira Mistress of the dark. A number of men and some of the
women commented on the look. I was asked to help one of the GG's with her
makeup. Made my day. Hugs to all.
Phyllis
The best thing that ever happened to me on Halloween was when i was 15 (circa
1977) yrs old my mom dressed me up in pink hot pants gogo boots and put my long
hair into a pony tail..the works...i went out with about 5 friends (All guys)
and did our Halloween thing...as we bumped into people and went into houses
i realized that most people thought i was a girl! it was incredible..in fact
two times i was called "Christy" by next door neigbors so i must've looked like
her in some way...
My pals didnt realize it, in fact they teased me mercilessly but i did not care
i stayed out for an extra hour or two and was even told by a group with parents
chaperoning that i shouldnt be out alone (Not safe for a girl!!)...anyway..it
was the best..my only real passing gradE!!
Michele
Michele
I think the worst thing I ever bought was a jean mini-skirt that was
too small for me. It looked great in the mall but the top button broke as
soon as I sat down in the car. Instead of trying to fix it I think I'll
donate it to charity.
Suzanna
Epilady.....Ouch.... Need I say more?
or maybe foam rubber breast forms. Oh so natural...oops.
or it could be a dress two sizes to small. For inspiration. It's still in a suitcase.
anne
I wasted more money than I'd like to count buying size L teddies,gowns, etc
from Fredericks of H.Their L size wouldn't fit my 13 year old.
barbra
For me it also was Michael Salem's catalog. It has nice things in it, but
I always felt like I had to "pay the price" for my CD lifestyle if I bought
anything out of it. The prices are just too outrageous. I found things at
a fraction of the price in local woman's stores. I also found that salesgirls
really don't care what you're buying, it's really just a job to them. I guess
I always thought of them as being the "gender police", which they're not.They
were usually sweet, and sometimes were more helpful then I even needed.
Veronica
For me, the dumbest thing was silicone breasts. Maybe I let the
saleswoman talk me into a larger size than I needed. Anyway, they
did not really look more convincing than most of the alternatives,
they were very heavy (I wonder how Dolly manages), and the straps
made little blisters on my shoulders. I spent a week in fear that
my wife would notice them. I really could not think of a good excuse.
On the plus side, the saleswomen seemed to enjoy the fitting as much
as I did. Maybe it was the $$$.
Carol Wells
Dumbest thing? I don't really know. Probably some clothes I have bought but haven't worn at all. Buying things is quite a challenge and often quite embarassing. You know. But to avoid the next dumb thing could anybody give me some advice? Which is the best beard cover one could get from an on-line store? I don't have a personal e-mail. Could you just leave your message on Bulletin Board. I hope the editor wouldn't be to mad at me for discussing practical problems on these pages. And anyway, maybe some other person can use the hints as well.
Thanks a lot.
Katrina
I's being billed as a Transgender Celebration on October 26th, at 10:00 am, at
The Center, 2256 South Grand Bvld, St Louis, MO. It's being co-sponsored by
MCC-St Louis and St Louis Gender Foundation (StLGF). The Guest of Honor is Rev.
Elder Wilhelmina Hein of Auckland, New Zealand. She brings a message of inclusive
love, understanding deeply what that means. Rev. Hein is a post-operative
transgendered person. Her story is one of hope and courage.
Open to All and refreshments provided!!
For more information contact: The Center at (314) 771-7995
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