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"...Because the world is full of idiots."




Thought Trans-mission

Who Me?...Paranoid?

By Melody Griffiths


This column is designed to be about thoughts, feelings, and events a young transsexual goes through in her quest to discover who she is, and become who she wants to be -- both serious and humorous. The viewpoints expressed in this column may be inflammatory, and as such are not to be considered the opinions of the editors or owners of Transgender Forum -- solely the author of the column, Melody Griffiths. Comments on this column may be sent to the address posted at the end.
One thing I've noticed about transsexuals that strikes me as odd is the habit they have of thinking that the smallest slight *must* be because the offending party judged them to be transsexual.

I'm not talking about being "sir'ed" when it's obvious you aren't presenting as one, I'm talking about those "little things", like getting honked at driving down the street, or leered at, or whatever.

Not that we don't think this for good reason -- transsexuals are perhaps one of the meekest groups of people around -- we always assume that the public is putting us down because we are transsexual. But, I've found, this isn't always the case.

And, even though I'm sure most transsexuals have seen the following situations, they tend to forget it. Well, maybe a few reminders would be in order.

I remember growing up as a 'male' teenager - hanging out with my girlfriends I'd frequently see harassment towards them. Idiots honk their horns passing them on the street, or shout rude things out the window. Why?

Because the world is full of idiots. I don't say this because I'm bitter, or anything like that -- I say this because it's true. And men are pigs.

Well, some men are nice, *clean* pigs, but that pig is still inside them... hm. Getting a little feminist there. Anyhow...

So, these idiots seem to think that perhaps we'll hike up our skirts if they honk at us. Like we're going to show some appreciation for their 'noble guesture'. Whatever. But this doesn't happen because we're TS -- it's because we're women.

Or, in a shop, or whatever. I did a little training for commission sales -- with men a salesperson is submissive, generally, and with women the salesperson is dominant. Condescending, pushy, rude and sometimes downright insulting. Once again -- this is because we're _women_, not transsexual.

Get used to it -- you threw all your male privilege in the garbage can when you decided to cut your pee-pee off.

And so you're sitting in line at the supermarket, and a guy does a double and a triple take on you. "Oh my god! He's read me!" you think. This has happened to me before, too. Then the guy turns to me, and he says: "My God! Are you a transsexual?"

*NOT*.

"So, nice day isn't it?" ... "Hm." (looking at gum I was buying...) "I guess that gum is good, if you're buying it." (and then he grabs a pack for himself.) "That dress will look good on you..."

Not to say that you aren't ever getting read, but odds are the times you're read are far less then the times guys are just "checking you out".

We seem to think, sometimes, that the entire world scrutinizes everyone else to see if they're one of "those nasty transsexuals". They generally don't. If you're tall, then most of the time they'll just think you're a tall woman. Or if you're furry you have a hirsutism problem or something. Sure they'll stare, though, because it's unusual, but they may not be "reading" you as anything other than an odd woman.

People look at women. Men are checking them out for -- well, you know -- and women check them out for fashion, or to compare themselves. We just don't realize that people don't scrutinize men so intently. If a man stares at another man, well then people might think he's gay, and we can't _have_ that, now can we? If a woman stares at a man, she only does it briefly, generally, because she doesn't want him to notice.

It's a vast world, the treatment of the sexes in society. And we seem to take an awful long time sometimes to realize that. But, get used to it. It's what you've bought into.

Not that I'm saying you're never getting read -- just keep in mind that a lot of the things you may be taking as transsexual harassment may be female harassment...

And if you don't like it, join a feminist group ;)




Melody Griffiths is a 21 year-old pre-op transsexual living full-time in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. She is a musician, a keyboardist and composer who loves cats, kids, flowers, and art of all forms. She can be mailed at: ua770@freenet.victoria.bc.ca -- or check out her homepage.
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