Chatsubo

The Chatsubo, or simply The Chat, is the bar made famous by William Gibson in his 1984 cyber-punk masterpiece NEUROMANCER. The Chat is where the cyberjocks, razorgirls and joeboys came to gather information and kick back. Please feel free to do the same here.

by JoAnn Roberts - CyberQueen

"First deserve, and then desire." -- English Proverb

First you say you won't and then you will... Lest anyone think I have nothing else on my mind (and some of you doubt I even have that), I'm starting this month's column on a subject other than IFGE... the Texas "T" Party. For those of you who missed this year's T, you might have heard this was the last one. According to a press release handed out at the T and signed by Linda and Cynthia Phillips, "... your hostesses are tired!" and so they decided this was to be the last T. However, according to my spy... err... news network (they're everywhere, they're everywhere), the Sam'nEric of the transgender set have changed their collective mind and I'm hardly surprised. The T is a gold mine generating, by conservative estimates, between $10,000 and $15,000 profit each event. I sure wouldn't want to give that up if the T were my event. Maybe if the Phillips do throw in the towel, the original T sponsors would consider reviving the event under its original aegis. Stay tuned for the latest developments on the 1997 Tentative T Party.

Okay, now comes the IFGE stuff. Early last month, the Chair of the IFGE Fund Raising Committee, Sharon Saypen, sent out a letter asking for donations to help stock the "new" IFGE bookstore. Excuse me... new? IFGE has been selling books since 1989. I know. They buy my books for resale. So, what happened to the money they made from selling the books they already had in stock? And, if they can't turn a profit selling what they have now, what makes them think they'll turn a profit with a larger inventory? I don't know about you, but I get tired of listening to IFGE beg for money every year and every year it's a new excuse. Since its inception, this community has poured close to $2,000,000 into IFGE. Over the past year IFGE raised over $40,000 in membership fees and slashed its employee costs by almost another $40,000. So, I have to wonder, where is all the money going? It's time IFGE came clean about its financial health. It's time for IFGE to publish its Profit and Loss and Balance sheets. By law, this is public information. As dues paying members, you and I have a right to know this information.

If your money is burning a hole in your pocket and you just have to make a donation, let me make some suggestions (and if you make them before April 15, you might be able to deduct them from your 1995 taxes). Charity starts at home, so give money to your local organization first. That's where it will do the most direct good. Next, send some money to GenderPAC c/o PO Box 229, Waltham, MA 02154. Finally, send some money to ICTLEP at PO Drawer 35477, Houston, TX 77235. As you read last month, ICTLEP has opened an office and really needs some cash.

Cyber-this. Cyber-that. CyberQueen! Everybody and everything is getting into the "cyber" act, so it comes as no surprise that cyber-cosmetics have entered the scene. Yes, girls, L'Oréal announces Cybershine, its latest color line for spring which is all pink and glossy. For you UNIX gurus: <$rm cybershine >.

If you think that cosmetics and the companies that produce them are frivolous, consider this. L'Oréal made a takeover bid for Memphis based Maybelline to the tune of $600 million. Maybelline is the all time champ when it comes to mascara sales. Its Great Lash mascara in the pink and green container is used by virtually every major makeup artist in the U.S. And, even while it's being snapped up by another company, Maybelline has just introduced Great Finish nail polish which claims "Wet to set in 2 minutes flat." Now that's a major accomplishment.

Revlon isn't sitting on it laurels either. It's just launched two new Spring palettes called "In The Flesh," in both deep and pale tones. Personally I prefer the deep tones. It takes a very feminine face to pull of the no-makeup makeup look.

More on makeup and money... Cosmetic Queen, Estée Lauder, is rolling in it. The privately held company went public last November and the market sharks snapped it up. Since then Lauder has reported second quarter earning of over $58 million. Netscape move over.

Faced with having to replace supermodel Cindy Crawford on MTV's House of Style, it takes not one, but two non-super models: Amber Valetta and Shalom Harlow. Who?

The HOT BUZZ on shoes for Spring is the return of the Spectator Pump. But the newest "specs" bear little resemblance to their sisters of yore. They're clunky and plain ugly. Why can't I just find a nice looking Spectator with a 2 inch heel and no ankle strap?

Do the name Max Factor ring a familiar note? How about Dean Factor? No? Well, Dean is the 31 year-old great-grandson of Max, he that virtually created the cosmetics industry and the most celebrated makeup artist in the U.S. Factor The Younger has created his own cosmetics line, SmashBox Beauty, for release mid-month. Targeted initially at makeup professionals, SmashBox is expected to make it to department store shelves by late Fall. Watch for it.

Perhaps taking a cue from the recent awards handed out by Renaissance Gretaer Philadelphia to female role models (a.k.a The Rennis), Glamour magazine handed out Glammie Awards to Hollywood films of 1995. Nominees for the Burt Reynolds Flip Your Lid Award were Shelley Long in the Brady Bunch Movie, Anne Bancroft in Home For The Holidays, Robert Duval in The Scarlet Letter, Jim Carey in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, and Sly Stallone in Assassins. And, the winner is: Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo... Speaking of drag movies, The Birdcage, a remake of La Cage Aux Folles with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane has been a huge hit and is getting great national reviews. Seems America does love drag.

Nationally known for his outstanding reputation as a sex educator, Renaissance board member Dr. William Stayton, has been asked to testify as an expert witness in the ACLU court challenge of the Communications Decency Act which criminalizes "indecent" speech on the Internet. Fear of the CDA has caused some content providers to shut down their web sites, while others sneer at the law. A federal judge has issued an injunction against prosecution by the Justice Department until the court rules on the constitutionality of the law. Content providers like the Safer Sex Page, the AIDS Education Network, Stop Prisoner Rape, the Queer Resources Directory, Apple Computer, America On-Line and others have joined the ACLU lawsuit. If the CDA is upheld, many of the web sites with information about transgender behavior could shut down. Congress passed the CDA so they could go home and tell constituents they protected their children from smut on the Internet, knowing full well the law is unconstitutional. It's election year and politicians will do anything to get reelected.

And while I'm on the subject of election year, are you as scared of Pat Buchanan as I am? I mean, puhleeze! The best line I've heard about Pat The Hun is: "His speeches sound better in the original German." And there's this apocryphal story of the homeless man who approached Buchanan in New Hampshire and said he had not eaten in three days. Pat supposedly replied, "I wish everyone had your self-discipline."

The Republicans decry the moral decay of society and a cosmetics company rises to claim the honor. Urban Decay features lipsticks with names like Asphyxia and Smog that coordinate with their nail enamels with names like Frostbite, Bruise, and Mildew. Spurred by the blood-black success of Chanel's Vamp, Urban Decay is the in thing. Bruise, the reddish-purple polish is the most popular at $9 a bottle. You'll find Urban Decay at, where else, Urban Outfitters, and Nordstrom, or call 800-784-urban.

According to the Fashion Workshop in the April issue of Glamour, definitely out are shoulder duster earrings and patterned hose of any kind. We can tell the editors at Glamour don't hang with Drag Queens. How could we possible do without our shoulder dusters and who among us doesn't treasure her fishnets? Well, I've got news for them, the Spring fashions on the runway have their share of faux pas, like: frills on everything; clothes so sheer nothing is left hidden; skirts so long you'll trip on the hems; and clothes so bare they're only good for summer.

What's up with Fredericks's of Hollywood? Maybe they've finally caught on that more men buy their clothes and lingerie than women. After all, a woman has to have a near perfect body to even think about wearing Freddie's clothes in public. They only place I've ever seen these clothes are at TV conventions. So, the latest catalog arrives (yes, I get it) and more than 60% of the clothes are now available in "Plus" sizes. Enticed by such offerings, I placed an order. I'm still waiting after almost two months because what I wanted was out of stock the day the catalog arrived.

Perhaps it's not just Frederick's that is specifically catering to men. Victoria's Secret is being sued by a woman for discrimination. Seems the lady received a Vicky's catalog touting a 10 percent discount off her order, while her boyfriend received the same exact catalog except his offered a 25 percent discount.

Anne Blackwood replied to my jibe about Nielson and Stallone last month: "Brigitte Nielson couldn't possibly be Sly Stallone in drag. She's too tall ... barefoot. I met her once, when I auditioned for Cobra. For some reason she was sitting in on the casting sessions. I had no idea who she was, just thought, "There's a rather attractive blonde." Should there be a TS Rocky movie would they call it Rocky XX or Rocky XY?

So, those are my opinions, but, hey, what do I know? I think it's indecent the way some organizations beg for money. It's better to give than receive. Comments? Email them to TheBitch@cdspub.com.

© 1996 by Creative Design Services.

Up On My Soapbox

Since I lost my companion here (Kalina got "kicked upstairs" with her own column), I feel that the readers deserved a little more than just the hot buzz stuff. So, I went digging in my archives and I'll be posting editorials and essays from past writings, updated for today's issues. What follows is the first of several editorials on political activism. If you like this part of Chatsubo, let me knowJoAnn Roberts.

I wrote this piece for LadyLike #9 around September 1990 in response to the flap over Robert Mapplethorpe's photo exhibit. It was the first time I wrote about an issue larger than the community itself. Some things never change. With a little editing, it's as applicable today as it was six years ago.

Political Activism

I want to talk about a more serious subject, politics. Oh, I hear you groan, but you must listen because everything we've worked to achieve is being threatened. Pick up any newspaper and look at what's going on around you. Do you remember how The National Endowment for the Arts was held for ransom by right-wing fundamentalists because Jesse Helms didn't like Robert Mapplethorpe's sexual images. The recording industry was being bludgeoned by the Parent's Music Resource Center to label records with stickers noting. "objectionable language." Members of the rap group 2 Live Crew were arrested on obscenity charges because their album, As Nasty As They Wanna Be, was deemed obscene by a Florida State Supreme Court.

Want more? The right of a woman to choose whether or not to have an abortion is under massive attack in almost every state. The Federal Supreme Court ruled that the Right to Privacy does not extend to same sex, consenting adults in their own bedroom, and Congress has enacted the Communications Decency Act [CDA] which will try to muzzle the Internet and make it "safe" for children. (Hey, kid, what are you doin' readin' this stuff?)

So what does all that have to do with crossdressing? Every thing! In every case above, someone is trying to control what you see, what you hear, what you read and what you do. Personal freedom is under an unrelenting assault by people who know better than you do what's best for you. Your Right to Free Speech is about to be canned.

These zealous guardians of our moral fiber have succeed far too often for my taste. We're in deep fundamentalist shit and most of us haven't a clue how we got here. It was a short step from records and art to the Internet. And, if they can make the CDA stick on the net, believe me, magazines and books aren't too far behind. If "they" decideTGForum has "no redeeming social value," Bang! We're gone. If "they" decide that no one has the right to control what they do with their own body, then any family of a transsexual who disagrees with that transsexual's choice for reassignment can stop the operation.

Come on people. Wake up and smell the coffee. Do you think that Human Rights and Civil Rights are someone else's problem? Better think again and start to do something. Ah, I knew you'd say, "Like what?" Well, how about this:

Don't just sit there looking pretty. And don't come crying to me when you get canned from your job because you are a [pick one: crossdresser; transgenderist; transsexual ]. Get off your fat butt and do something positive for yourself. Go over to Political Writes and read about what's going on in the community. Then get busy.

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© 1996 by cdspub.com