A Special Gift

By Vanessa Kaye

Every once in a while it is important that we give ourselves a special gift. After all, if we don't think we're deserving of something nice, who will?

This past month, after returning from Las Vegas, I still had some cash left, quite remarkable when one considers Linda's luck at the slot machines. I decided that I would use some of it to buy something special for Vanessa (that's me). I had grown so tired of shaving my legs as well as all of the nicks, cuts, and stubble. So... I finally purchased one of those "Hair Removal Systems" for about the price of what one good body waxing would have cost me.

After getting my new purchase home, I couldn't wait to try it out! I read all of the promises on the packaging system and decided this was going to be simply fantastic! Well girls, the very best thing that I can say about the Satinelle Hair Removal System is that it feels so incredibly wonderful when you turn the damn thing off! As odd as it may seem, this leads me into my Christmas message.

Linda had suggested that I write about the "Season of Peace and Giving". That time of year when everyone is supposed to be joyous and happy and charitable to all their fellow beings. After thinking it over for some time, I decided to write about being good to one's self.

The transgendered person, be they male or female, lives for years, and some times their entire life, with conflict and guilt that few other people can ever understand. During our younger years, we realize that we are "different" and we feel guilty about it. As we grow into adulthood, we continue to struggle with trying to understand the "whys" of who and what we are. This inner conflict is equally as violent as any combat occurring throughout the world today.

While this girl won't give away her age, she will say that she can well remember the seventies. During that time, she had a friend who once said, "When you finally figure out, that you don't need to figure it all out, you're getting your shit together." I guess, that says what I am trying to say in a nutshell.

What's the point to all of this, you ask? It is much like the advanced, electronic hair removal gadget that I purchased, "It just feels so good when you stop!" The greatest gift that you can give to yourself is acceptance. Many of us have read the studies, books and various articles on the theories of transgenderism. The bottomline is that there is no simple answer. We are who we are. We have the same rights to happiness and a full life as anyone else. All people who dwell upon this spaceship Earth are unique and all have the same rights.

Years ago, I met a crippled man on the sidewalks in Tokyo. He was selling small drawings and poems to earn enough to buy food. I stopped and read one of the poems he had written. In Japanese, it was "Hitotsu, hitotsu no mono ni; hitotsu, hitotsu ume ga ate." The English translation is "Within each one, and everything, there exists a special dream." I don't think that I have ever been more touched than I was at that moment when I read what this severely crippled man had written.

As transgendered persons, or the partner of a transgendered person, we are considerably better off than that man on the Tokyo sidewalk who had no legs. Yet, we too often subject ourselves to an inner conflict that need not be. During this time of year, when we are surrounded by the wonderful smells, sights and sounds of Christmas and Hanukkah, take the time to be good to yourself. Give yourself, and your partner, the gift of acceptance. Let there be peace within you, and within your relationship.

This past year has been one of significant change for those within the transgender community. It is my wish for all of my sisters and brothers that we learn to accept ourselves, and each other and respect those differences which make us all special and unique persons. We all have a special dream that lies within us, my prayer is that yours will come true.


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