Ho, ho, ho my little kittens! It's holly jolly Christmas and Chanukah time. I know around my house when the jolly fat man slides down the chimney to fill my silk stockings with goodies he's wearing a red lace corset trimmed with white fur and a pair of red Charles Jourdan pumps. At least that's the way I see him. But now, down to business... the Diva is on the Net!
I got a note from a Miss Robyn Richards down in Oz. It was sent by snail mail in October and has been wending it's way around the globe ever since then. Robyn wanted me to pass along an offer to all the members of Renaissance who may be thinking of a trip to Oz. I have decided to give the info to everyone, so here it is; Members of Robyn's group, The Chameleon Society of Victoria (I love that name) are willing to show TG visitors around the town. (The town being Melbourne.) For more details on the Society and the hot spots they can show you contact them at PO Box 500, Williamstown, Vic 3016, Australia. Ring them up at 61 3 9315 9172. (Don't forget the country code.) If you go, let us know how it was.
Speaking of Down Under, Brad Rodgers, (a regular bloke, Bruce) is the first male to qualify for the Miss Australia Contest when he won the Miss Victoria Fundraiser contest. The event was renamed simply Victorian Fundraiser in deference to Brad. It used to be a beauty contest but now it's a charity event, and Rodgers, 27, won his title by raising $78,000 for the Spastic Society of Australia.
"I'm not here to make a political statement for blokes,'' he said, "but I do hope I'll be the first of many more to come. I'm not into that gender specific stuff.''
His competitors will all be gowned for the February finals. Rodgers says he'll make do with a tux. Maybe we could get the Chameleon Society girls to talk him into a dress.
Prince was on the Oprah Winfrey Show on November 20th. He said that when he was five years old he created "another person" in response to living in an abusive household. The reason we care? He's not sure if the "other person" is male or female. Well, I think we have a clue, don't we girls? Any man who can dance that well in heels that high is bound to have a high Femininity Quotient. I thought on several occasions that photos included with Prince albums were pictures of Prince in drag. (Turned out not to be but, it could have been.) Perhaps as The Artist Formerly Known As... continues his therapy he'll find out the other person inside of him is Madonna. Or, maybe not.
Dolly Parton was on the Tom Snyder Show and the talk turned to her image. She said she was always interested in glamour and has always loved makeup and wigs. (She can get fully "Dollyized," wig and makeup, in fifteen minutes. You go girl!) Tom postulated a "hair & makeup" gene for girls and a "truck" gene for boys. We all know that he's on the right track here but he's missed the fact that the H&M gene (or the FQ) can leap from gender to gender. Same for the "truck" gene. Ask any diesel dyke.
Dolly looks fabulous for a woman her age, heck, for a woman of any age, and she admitted that she has work done whenever she needs it. Being Dolly is her business so plastic surgery is just property maintenance to her. She said that she loves to go out on Halloween in Santa Monica and other spots near L.A. since she runs into a great number of Dollys walking around, about half of them guys. They have no clue that she's the real thing so she always get's compliments on how good a job she's doing. Take a close look at the next Dolly you see, cause ya never know.
A few months ago I wrote about the city of Raleigh, North Carolina and their classification of drag shows as adult entertainment that would have messed up a main stage production of La Cage. The reclassification also had the girls over at Legends a little upset since they would have had to stop their drag shows, and several female impersonators would have been headed for the welfare line. Fortunately they won the appeal and Wake County Superior Court Judge (they wear those sexy black robes don't they?) Howard Manning, Jr. said the law, which was aimed at stopping "lewd" displays on stage, did not apply to drag shows--as long as they aren't lewd. Now heaven knows most drag shows aren't lewd, unless the performer is doing Cher, so the shows can go on at Legends, the First Amendment is safe and the welfare office won't be full of queens.
Crossdressers tend to own an enormous quantity of clothing. Once out of the closet most of the ladies spend a lot of time trying to fill it back up with frocks. I myself am a semi-reformed shopaholic. I say semi, since I'm fighting the urge to stop typing this delightful column and head out for some of those fabulous before Christmas bargains right now.
There, I'm back and that new little black dress looks so good next to all those other ones in the closet. Now where was I ? Oh, yes. I was about to tell you about a wonderful program that gives us crossdressers a chance to do something really nice for the people we love to emulate--women. Many women who are trying to get off of welfare (you knew I was going somewhere with that didn't ya?), and who are getting training in job skills through various programs set up for that purpose, find they have a hard time going to interviews since they haven't a thing to wear. They may have mastered the skills but if they show up for a job interview in an old house dress or pair of ratty jeans they aren't going to have much of a chance at getting the job. It's sad but true (and we know better than most) that the clothes make the woman.
How can we help? There are eleven shops scattered across the country, from Philly to California, that provide second hand clothes to women coming off of welfare and getting ready to join the work force. (I saw them on ABC News.) The shops are called Bottomless Closet. They get all of the clothing from donations so before you do something drastic, like purge again, or if you're just considering a closet cleaning, it might be a great idea to donate any good business type attire (suits, business dresses, coats, shoes) to the Bottomless Closet. What is a pleasure for us is a real necessity for women who are trying to support themselves and their kids through gainful employment. That Jones New York suit that you've worn a few times and grown tired of may be just what some woman needs to get her through a successful job interview. You can call Botomless Closets at their main number in Chicago 312-527-9664. You can also check the phone book for the number in your area or email ABC News for more information. It's really a worthy cause that dovetails nicely with our need to buy new outfits all the time.
(Ed. Note: In California, the following county welfare agencies are actively seeking interview clothes for their clients: Alameda, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Mateo and Solano counties. Ask for the "GAIN" division of the local welfare office. They'll be able to direct you from there.)
Richard Bransome is no stranger to publicity stunts. His company, Virgin Group, opened a new store called Virgin Bride that's going to be one stop shop for couples heading for marriage. Bransome borrowed an idea from Dennis Rodman as an opening day stunt. The lovely bride arrived in a white wedding gown, veil and fishnet hose. "She" was Richard Bransome and he went so far as to shave off his 30 year old beard to do it right.
No word on who the groom was or where the lovely couple went for their honeymoon but knowing Bransome it was probably an around the world high altitude balloon ride. Meanwhile, back at the store, Bransome tossed out red roses to the crowd and showed of his fishnets (I really hope they were white, black would be so tacky) to the photographers. Now this is what we need from more CEOs around the world. If more of them would wear dresses... ah, well, more of them would... wear dresses. Boy, when you don't have a good punchline it can get real scary.
Last year I mentioned a song called Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear that gets played by twisted DJs every holiday season. I may not have all the info right away but I never sleep (OK, a slight exaggeration. I get my 10 hours of beauty sleep every night) until I deliver the goods. My informant in Tennessee, Tennessee Vals boss lady, Marisa Richmond, found the album the tune is on and has passed the information along. It's called I am Santa Claus by Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio. Twisted Radio is a collection of Seattle DJs and the whole album is nothing but Christmas parodies. It also includes I Came Upon a Road Kill Deer and Teddy, The Red- Nosed Senator. Marisa got hers at Tower Records so you should be able to find it fairly easily. Then you'll be... walkin' round in women's underwear. Do de do de do de do de do. Catchy little tune.
It won't be long till 1997 kids. Ninety six has been a wild ride so far and there's still a few days left to get us in trouble. Here are a few things to do in the coming months that should help to keep us all occupied.
1. Visit Lady Chablis' Cabaret in Savannah, Gee A. The real life star of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil has parleyed her fifteen minutes of fame into a nightclub where she and other local girls perform. According to Chablis, now they've got a little job security.
2. Sign up for an aerobics class at New York's Crunch Gym with fifteen minute of famer instructor, Anthony Truly. Sure, most of us have had workout fantasies where we swath ourselves in Spandex® and sweat (not too much) to the oldies, but Anthony has taken it a step further. He leads the class in drag. He has twenty five different wigs and uses props and stobe lights. The classes have names like Aerobics With Attitude and Abs, Thighs and Gossip. His costumes range from a dominatrix outfit to the ever popular bridal motif. If you want to be a supermodel you better get that body in shape and what better way to do that than with a drag queen aerobics instructor?
Thanks to Jessica Brandon for the first two items.
3. Dress up events are spinging up out of the woodwork. I guess people are finally catching on. Here are two events that I've never heard of before and who knows if they're any good. I present them merely as a diversion. No endorsement is implied. There, that oughta stop any lawsuits.
February 20 - 23, 1997 in New Orleans, Louisiana they're putting on an event called New Orleans Fantasy Fest. Registration for the event is $225. It includes various dress up stuff and for more info check out the Fantasy Fest website. Let me now if it's any good if you go.
That's it for now my lovelies. I must begin my ten hours of renewing sleep or I shall simply be a wreck on the morrow. Happy Holidays! and ta ta till 1997. Keep smiling. Drop me a note. The Diva