The Vampire's Lair

The Creature Cantina and the Lesbian Love Lounge

By Kalina Isato

February 17, 1996.

I wore all-black that night: black ribbed turtleneck, black jeans, black thigh-high suede boots, and black leather jacket. I had given myself scupltured nails by following the instructions on a Kristy Wells Acrylic Nails Kit. It took me six hours from start to finish: prepping my hands, fabricating nails using scuplturing on top of nail tips, and finally painting them. I painted my new 3/8"-beyond-the- fingertip talons with Revlon's Toast of New York and wore L'Oreal's Russet as a matching color. Russet is like Toast of New York, but with a very light frosty shine. I left my nails on until 7:00pm the next day. I really like the extra dimension of femininity that sculptured nails give me. The many hours I had spent perfecting the look of my nails was all worth it!
My partner, Mary, styled my Ginger Brown-colored Tara 3/4- style wig so that much of the hair on the left side framed the left side of my face (see photographs at http://www.cris.com/~Kalina/Vamp/Scrapbook4.html). I wore the black headband with the wig again, the same successful combination I wore last time I was out. That look was more realistic than any wig and wig/my-own-hair combination I have worn thus far.
We stood outside our apartment complex for a few minutes, waiting for our ride to arrive. Our club friends, Shani and Brian, were going to take us on a night out downtown. As we stood on the busy street waiting, plenty of people walked by and noticed me. Several men turned to give me a second admiring and possibly wanting look. Heh heh. Mary remarked that, with the choice of hairstyle and clothes, I looked possibly Hispanic and maybe a little Black. I just thought I looked like a hooker. I didn't mind. I admit I'm an attention-seeking girl! It's in my nature.
Our first stop was the infamous Silk City Lounge, voted "Best Dance Club in Philadelphia" by The City Paper, a freebie newspaper in Philly that has club and concert listings in it. Bruce Willis made a stop at the Silk City while he was filming "12 Monkeys." The cover charge was $5, which was outrageous considering a club across the street called The Bank was a more happening place and had the same cover charge. The cover charge at Silk City pissed everyone off, since the club was so small.
"Maybe it turned cool," I said to myself. I was not impressed by Silk City the first couple of times I was there (two years ago and one year before that). I remember the club was too small. I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised. Just hoping.
The place was dark. Very dark. Much like the other two times I had been to the club. The dance floor area was greatly expanded from last year, which is not saying much, since now they can comfortably fit about 20 people instead of 18. A disco ball about the size of a billiard ball was suspended above the ceiling. A few colored lights were suspended from the ceiling, too, but had no logical reasons for being in the locations that they were at. An ugly ceiling vent ran from one side of the room to the other. The place still looked like someone's shabby old basement. This place was voted "Best Dance Club in Philadelphia"?
The restroom situation was greatly improved. Now there were two restrooms instead of one. The restrooms were the only source of bright light, so whenever someone entered or exited one of the restrooms, he or she could be seen by everyone in the club.
On the three standup tables away from the bar area were strange light fixtures, cone-like and filled with bright- colored liquids and a strange mushroom-like growth in each one. We each ordered one and only one drink. The prices were more like club prices than bar prices.
Mary and Shani went off dancing. The music was definitely cool, but the music did not seem to fit the people that were there. Looking around the bar area, I noticed something odd.
The people.
It was an assortment of oddballs and rejects, club people who looked like they were rejected by the "real" clubs. A trio of all-black-wearing college-type clubkids sat in one corner sipping the beer on tap. Two rather large and short biker dykes in flannel shirts sat next to them. A Black man in a black leather jacket with a skull and crossbones emblazoned on it sat next to the dykes. The jacket had a strange "growth" protruding out of each shoulder. They were not identical protrusions, which led me to believe that perhaps the foam shoulder padding was popping out of his jacket. A tall and thin skinhead beatnik man stood next to a Jason Alexander look-alike. A couple of Black girls in funky 70's clothing and dredlocks stood next to the bald couple. Every two or three people group looked completely different from the next group. There was no consistency. When I stood back to take in the entire bar area scene, it reminded me of something I had seen long ago.
The Creature Cantina in Star Wars.
A motley crue of alien beings and everything the cat could possibly drag in.
"I'm going to have nightmares of this place," Brian remarked. I told him about how this place reminded me of the Creature Cantina and he laughed and agreed. We noticed quite a few men checking me out and giving me welcoming smiles. Of course, I liked it! Mary later pointed out that of course guys would check me out, since I looked like I was flirting with Brian the entire time. Since I sometimes get a kick out of being read, I faked a shaving motion with both hands as I was describing my facial hair shaving ritual to Brian in one of our conversations, much to the astonished look of two Hispanic men standing not too far away.
There were more people filtering into the club. More college kids. More reggae-type kids.
After being utterly disappointed, we quickly left Silk City and headed towards the Black Banana. Oh, yes, I got beeped a lot walking out of the club and to the car. One man was driving in his big car, totally eyed me up and down as he passed by (I smiled at him, of course!), and came to a screeching halt at the just-turned-red light a few feet away. He almost ran a red light and just avoided hitting a car as he sat there a bit shook up. Mary, Shani, and Brian shook their heads at his stupidity. I laughed aloud. Now that is a flattering notion, being able to corrupt traffic! I loved it! You can bet I'm a sicko and love attention like that. I would've gotten more jollies if he actually bumped into something! Hee hee.
Mary remarked that the driver probably thought I was a hooker. Hookers were notorious for walking the Spring Garden Street strip.
"Cool!" I exclaimed and laughed. Shani laughed, too. Brian waved off the Silk City and we all said "Bah!" in unison and smiled as we drove away from the slushy snow-ridden street.
It was just before midnight when we entered the Black Banana. The place looked desolate as usual at this time of night. The Banana was primarily an afterhours place, so the action wouldn't start until 1:30am to 2:00am when most clubs would begin winding down.
I made a pitstop at the women's restroom. There was one toilet and a stand-up urinal in the tiny restroom. The sink and mirror portion of it was separated from the urinal portion by the shortest of partitions. I quickly finished my business for fear of someone walking in on me. I then checked my makeup and my body in the mirror.
Just my luck. A middle-aged woman in a red suit walked in. The music was blaring outside. She sat down on the toilet and remarked, "Darn! Just when I have to go to the bathroom, a Rod Stewart song comes on!" I smiled at her and she smiled back. I don't think she had the faintest clue that I was a guy while I was freshening up. I took my time studying the mirror and making sure my face didn't look too shiny. I patted my hips to make sure everything looked in place. I love my lower torso padding! It makes me look so feminine!
I walked out of the restroom and into the first floor bar area where my three friends sat. It was a cozy little bar area. A church pew with four little tables in front of it served as seating for one side of the room. A few more tables and chairs were scattered here and there around the long bar. A vending machine was next to the entrance and sold cigarettes and overpriced snacks. The bar was stocked with all top shelf liquors, more so than the upstairs dance floor bar as I recall.
We had a couple of drinks before we headed upstairs. A couple of guys walked in. One of them gave me a severe lookover and I did the same with him out of courtesy. A guido couple walked in and the guy kept checking me out even though he was with his big-nosed blabber-mouthed girlfriend who kept gabbing and gabbing and gabbing, so much that she didn't even notice her boyfriend stealing glances at me. I was sitting down as they walked by and I must have looked very petite to him and, dare I say it, delicious. But the night would continue and would later reveal a startling revelation: tonight was called "Love Deluxe" and I had never seen so many female couples in any club since Hepburn's closed down.
The second floor area had been improved slightly. The VIP section was totally revamped and now had a Japanese motif. No one entered that section throughout the night. A working wood burning fireplace stood next to the VIP area. It was not working the last time we were there. The dance floor area was decorated with simple white sheets hanging from the ceiling, perhaps to resemble clouds. Banners saying "Love Deluxe" were draped here and there.
We noticed the restroom with the one-way mirror was not so "one-way" after all. You could see into the restroom from afar and at a certain angle! This made me reel in thought at all the times men and lesbians could have seen me doing my number ones while standing up. How embarrassing!
Nah! I should really have been reeling in thought at why so many men had approached me on those very nights that they could have seen me whizzing while standing up. I guess a chick is a chick to some men even if the chick has something she's genetically not supposed to have. Hmm...
The dance floor filled up quickly in the course of an hour. Two Milli Vanilli/Scritti Politti types were dancing in the middle of the dance floor. A drunken gay man in a blue denim jacket starting twirling about. His friends would join him later. A number of female couples were dancing together. Mary and I got on the dance floor shortly thereafter.
"Can we switch?" a young Black girl in a fancy dress and rhinestone-studded necklace next to us asked me. I could tell she wanted to dance with Mary. I danced with her tall Black friend who looked very much like plain Jane newsreporter, Tracey Matisak, on the local Fox television station. "Tracey" was lethargic and didn't look like she wanted to dance with me. Perhaps I was not her type or she figured out I was a guy, I don't know.
After one song, I mouthed and hand-gestured "No more of this!" right in front of her and moved back to Mary. The Black girl in the fancy dress smiled and moved back to her friend.
"Bleagh!" Mary said aloud. Mary didn't like dancing with that girl.
The dance floor filled with more and more female couples. A large number of single men were standing hopelessly around the dance floor, many of them looking dumbfounded; others looking stoned and stupid. If only they knew that the secret to having loads of fun was to dress as a woman!
We got off the floor to get another drink and all eyes were on me. I loved it. I smiled at everyone I passed. The Black girl that danced with Mary moved next to me now and tried to strike up a conversation with me. She was drunk and needed advice on flagging down the bartender for another drink. After she got her drink, she quickly scooted back to a table where all of her friends sat. It looked like one big bachelorette party where she was the bride-to-be, since she was the most lavishly dressed. I wondered what the guy she would be marrying would think of her lesbian tendencies. Mary and I finished our drinks and headed back to the dance floor.
As I was dancing by myself in front of the mirrors for a while, I noticed a young hulk in a tight white sweater checking a few girls out, including me. He kept staring incessantly in one place, never losing his focus. His eyes darted around the dance floor, but ended fixated on me for many minutes. I gave him my patented wiggling body motions that could fool anyone into thinking my faux pas body parts were real. His friend was sitting next to him and was staring aimlessly at me as well. Gee! The Creature Cantina was not limited to Silk City; there were some bonafide cantina creatures in the Black Banana that night, too.
But, mostly, there were lesbians... which was cool, since I consider myself to be a lesbian.
After much dancing, I finally sat down and the hulk moved his eyes to another dancing female, my friend Shani. A cute skinny brunette in tight black clothing accidentally bumped into me while I was sitting down and watching everyone.
"Ooh, I'm sorry!" she said. "Well, now that I got my ass in your face, I'll tell you about this party we're having Monday nights at the old 'Revival.' Remember that place?"
I nodded.
"It's a party called The Spot. Here's a flyer. Hope to see you there!"
"Thanks!" I said.
Cool. It looked like another "ladies only" night.
We cut the night short after everyone agreed that we should get something to eat. Philly has some great all-night diners. Most everything in downtown Philly is closed after 2:00am save for a few clubs and the all-night diners. These diners were always filled with club people, many of whom we've seen in our past and present adventures.
We saw Terri Arnaldi, Elaine Howard, and another transgendered friend sitting at a booth as we walked into the Midtown Diner on 11th and Sansom. Towards the rear were several people we had seen at the Silk City and the Black Banana. Brian, Shani, Mary, and I each ordered omelettes.
It was 3:30am now and a quick check in the restroom revealed my makeup still looked fresh. Shani remarked at how great I looked all night. She revealed that she was wearing the top that she had attracted Brian with the night they first met. Let me tell you that Jayne Mansfield looks like a prepubescent girl compared to Shani. Shani's ribbed top flattered her upper torso like there was no tomorrow. Brian agreed. Mary and I finally hit the sack at about 5:00am. It was a great night, full of fun and cantina creatures.

Kalina
The Sexy Vampire


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