So I made a coupla mistakes last month. Sue me! I spelled Stanley Biber's name wrong, as well as Kyra Sedgewick's. Ah, well. The mind is the second thing to go as we get older. I don't recall the first.
On the community front, things seem quiet, until you lift the lid and see that the pot is about to boil over. There's lots of stuff going on in the background. Suffice it to say there's motion and where there's motion, there's usually friction. Look for motion from GenderPAC in the next month. They'll be going on a membership drive. GPAC needs your monetary contributions because GPAC is very fortunate to have Dana Priesing representing us in Washington, D.C., and Riki Wilchins pounding the pavement at gender events, but they're doing it gratis right now and that's not going to play well much longer. GPAC has to be able to sustain its lobbying efforts and that means your tax-deductible dollars. Send anything you can to your favorite organization, IFGE, Renaissance, Outreach, AEGIS, FtM International, or Tri-Ess, and tell them the money is for GPAC. Or send the money directly to GPAC, care of PO Box 229, Waltham, MA 02154. Be sure to note which organization gets notified of the donation. It's needed for tax purposes. To get a peek at what GPAC is doing, hop on over to the GPAC page.
I've been sitting on this item for almost two months now and I gotta get it out. I never thought that I'd see someone who treated this community worse than Michael Salem does, but I have. I (and a whole buncha people) received a mailing from Stephanie Lloyd's Transformation Boutique announcing a U.S. mailing address. Ms. Lloyd is a post-op transsexual from the U.K. who owns a string of Transformation boutiques over there and publishes an eponymous magazine. Ms. Lloyd is as revered there as Mr. Salem is here. The junk that was offered in the mailing just blew me away because it is so patently false in all of its claims. Like, Oestrogen Breast Cream that will grow you a hefty set of boobs in just 6 months for only $100 a month. Like, Hormone Nipple Cream (whatever that is) for just $95 per ounce. Like, a realistic vagina replica for only $149 shown with a photo of a real woman's vagina. Like, eight different types of breast forms all under $100 per pair and all illustrated with photos of the breasts of real women. Gimme a break! Please. If you or anyone you know has received this mailing, please make sure you tell everyone else what a rip-off this is. Better yet, go to the post office and file a mail fraud complaint.
Also in the above mailing was an interesting tidbit that should concern Jerri Lee of Spartacus. Ms. Lloyd notes that we should not confuse her Transformation magazine with Ms. Lee's Transformation magazine, and that she is pursuing the issue through legal channels. Ms. Lloyd would do well to watch her own ass in that regard.
I'm sure that someone will pick this one up and explore it extensively, but in case you've been visiting Mars, Dennis Rodman of the Chicago Bulls has all but explicitly proclaimed himself a transvestite, and on national television, too. I wonder if he'll do a LadyLike cover for me?
Those of you who've been to a recent Paradise In The Poconos weekend know that we added a Big Hair contest and it's been a lot of fun. Now comes an online site to help you learn the ins and outs of creating huge hair. Texas Hair & Style provides step-by-step instructions. They even provide you with Big Hair GIFs so you can paste them over photos of yourself to see how you would look with really big hair. Dallas! I shoulda known.
More games online are available at Hollywood Online where you can play Dress Up with Nathan Lane from Birdcage and download Barb Wire video clips.
I usually make a big hoopla about getting online and finding the tg community, but of late I am becoming dubious of the benefit, especially on the newsgroups [soc.support.transgendered] and [alt.transgendered]. Over the past several months a flame war erupted that was particularly vicious an very anti trans-gender and anti transvestite. New people coming in looking for support were driven away and some old-timers left, too. Kym Richards, publisher of Cross-Talk magazine, left the groups and Sister Mary Elizabeth wasn't too happy with what she saw there either. I've all but stopped reading the posts daily and only check in once a week.
IFGE has expanded its online presence with an electronic bookstore and an electronic version of Transgender Tapestry. Meanwhile, IFGE and 3-D Communications, Inc., the people who publish Transgender Forum (what you're reading now) on the www, have agreed to merge their Support Group lists to provide a single, comprehensive resource for that information. The list will be co-maintained by IFGE and 3-D Communications. I should have a URL for you next month.
Quote without comment: "I heard Senator Bob Packwood is transferring to my district because my seat is up for grabs," Colo. Senator Pat Schroeder. And this just in from Teheran, The word "dole," as in Bob Dole, is Farsi slang for dick or penis. Hmmm!
Are you a guy or a man? That's what Glamour magazine wants to know. What's the difference? A "guy" makes a lot of mistakes before he's 30. A "man" makes a lot of money before he's 30. A "guy" quits his job. A "man" starts his own business. Okay, you get the idea. What's intriguing about the piece though, are the women they rate as "guys" and "men" like... Women Who Are Men: Angela Basset, Courtney Cox, Lady Di, Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfeiffer... Women Who Are Guys: Whoppi Goldberg, Rosie O'Donnell, Fergie, Madonna, Sandra Bullock.
On to fashion news... for Summer the eyes have it and the look is minimalist. Try a bold cover swept across the lids and mascara, no liner. I can't abide by that look, however. I feel the eye needs to be defined by lining and here's how... 1 - prep lids with a light coat of foundation to provide a "canvas," or use a neutral shadow like beige or taupe... 2 - the trick is getting it right for the type of liner you use (a) for liquid: tilt the container so the liner pools near the opening, dip brush and wipe off the excess (b) for cake: wet brush so it's damp and run over the cake (c) for pencil: rub the point of the pencil into your palm so body heat melts the liner then dip brush into it... 3 - close one eye and place brush parallel to and up against the lashline. Start along the outer third and trace a line just past the corner. Now go back and make one smooth line from inner edge to outer corner. 4 - allow liner to really dry, then close your eyes and dust lightly with powder to set. Apply mascara.... 5 - need to fix a smudge or mistake? With cake liner it's easy, rewet the brush and go over the edges. For liquid or pencil, dip a small synthetic brush with an angled edge into foundation and "erase" the smudge. 6 - final tip: if you're right-handed, start on your left eye and vice versa for southpaws.
Summer sweats can dissolve your makeup right off your face. We've all battled those little beads of sweat on our upper lip. What's a girl to do? Try one of the new silicone based foundations like Cover Girl Continuous Wear Natural Makeup or Max Factor Lasting Performance Stay Put Makeup.
If you like clothes that are the cutting edge of style (not fashion), watch for a Rampage store to open in a mall near you. Rampage is all the rage and they carry lines like French Connection, Betsey Johnson, and their own designs. Prices are tres affordable.
If you were hoping to make it into next year's Renaissance News & Views swimsuit issue, you'd better take that photo before the summer is over. What? You can't find a swimsuit that's suitable? Try a new line by Elisabeth from Liz Claiborne in sizes from 14 to 24. A mesh-top tank suit in nylon/Lycra spandex is about $72.
For you extra tall girls, here are two possible sources of stylish clothes: Long Elegant Legs specializes in casual separates to size 22 (800-344-2225), and Tall Classics features both office and weekend wear to size 20 (800-345-1958).
Yes, I know it's barely July, but dahlings you must begin to think about your Fall wardrobes. The scene for Fall seems to be bright primary colors: red, blue and yellow. (Contrary to popular belief and computer geeks, green is not a primary color.) It's difficult to pull off yellow and blue just looks to dowdy to me, so I'll stick with my fave, a bright bold red. Another hot look coming this Fall is Military Style. That means belted coats and jackets with epaulets and double-breasted pockets.
Corrective concealers are making a showing at beauty counters everywhere because no one has a perfect complexion, expect perhaps a newborn. If you choose to use a foundation-concealer combination follow some of these tips... put the foundation on first and the concealer over the foundation... try to apply both foundation and concealer in natural lighting whenever possible... choosing the right shade is tricky but don't be too fussy because the concealer will blend into the foundation... never try to change your skin tone with a concealer. You can get skin care advice and makeup lessons online at Clinique's website.
I found this really cool magazine called TopModel that features news exclusively about the top fashion models. The May/June issue focused on mega-supermodel Cindy Crawford with scads and scads of photos. But the one photo that really caught my eye is on page 59. It's a close up of Cindy's face that is not retouched. This unabashed view of Cindy's face reveals much of what the fashion and beauty industry routinely hide -- flaws. Cindy has large pores, tiny wrinkles around her eyes and a hair growing out of that mole at the corner of her mouth. There was also a great Cindy Cut-Out doll with flashy and casual clothes. A six-issue subscription just $17.95 sent to PO Box 58295, Boulder, CO 80323-8295.
Change your look without changing your clothes. That's the message from a new book at the Conde' Nast Collection: Chic Simple Accessories. Following a few simple rules, you'll learn how much is too much, how little is not enough, where to put it and when to wear it. More to our needs is using accessories to camouflage figure problems, or changing a day look to an evening look, or conservative into trendy. Call 800-426-9922 to order. About $24.
So, those are my opinions, but, hey, what do I know? I think if you haven't pissed off someone, somewhere, you're not doing your job correctly. Comments? Email them to CyberQueen@cdspub.com.
© 1996 by Creative Design Services.
Since I lost my companion here (Kalina got "kicked upstairs" with her own column), I feel that the readers deserved a little more than just the hot buzz stuff. So, I went digging in my archives and I'll be posting editorials and essays from past writings, updated for today's issues.
The newspaper carried a story today of an 11 year old boy who was kept in a wooden box by his step-grandmother, because she feared he was brain damaged. The boy was found to be mentally normal.
When I read the story in the October 10th issue of the Philadelphia Inquirer, I almost started to cry. What an ignominious way to live! How has that poor child's psyche been damaged? What will happen to him in later life? The whole thing gave me pause to consider my life.
As I thought about that child, I realized that I, too, at one time, lived in a box. My box was made from a variety of woods; bigotry, racism, sexism and parochialism were a few. The nails holding it all together were fear, loathing, ignorance and despair. The wood was supplied, without charge, by the world around me and I pounded those self-made nails. Yes, my box was nailed shut from the inside. I hid the real me in that box for almost 32 years. The person that walked through the world was only a facade, a shadow-person built out of other people's expectations. Then one day something happened. The nails made of ignorance started to rust away. They were soon followed by those of fear.
Eventually, the nails were all gone and first one side then the other fell away from my box. I let free the real me. I faced the world for the first time and realized that I could be my own person. I could have original thoughts and feelings. I was not a puppet to be controlled.
I knew I could do almost anything I set my mind to and that ultimately, I could control my life. The key was acceptance of myself and acceptance of the responsibility for my actions. I understood that there is a basic human dignity within everyone and that dignity deserves respect. I resolved never to apologize to anyone for being me. And, I would consider carefully any criticism of others.
So, how many of you are still living in your own boxes? Isn't it about time for you to start pulling the nails free? Isn't is about time for you to kick the boards loose? And, isn't it about time for you to face the world and yourself with the truth?
There are no barriers except those you erect yourself, so tear them down. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I have the ultimate control and responsibility for my life." Then believe it and get on with the rest of your life. The past is immutable, so why worry over what cannot be changed? Look forward to the future and new goals. You will be amazed at how much you can accomplish if you will only believe in yourself.
There is no one in this world more deserving of your respect than yourself. For, if you cannot respect yourself, how can you possibly respect anyone else? And, how will you ever break out of your box before you mentally suffocate?
©1987, 1992, 1996 by JoAnn Roberts. No reproduction without the permission of the author.