By Leslee M. Anthony
Go to any mall, any dress shop, anyplace were you will see women doing their natural thing and you will see hips. Just look at the figures, no Dear, not numbers, shapes. Of all the features that you will see that make a woman different, you will see hips. So, my thesis goes like this, "if you don't have hips you do not appear feminine".
Most female fashions have hip sizes at least the same measurement as the breast size, usually larger. And therein lies the major distinguishing feature between males and females, hips. Not counting certain genital obvious differences. Doubt that?? Check any size chart from your favorite catalog. You do get catalogs don't you?? Hips usually are about 2 inches larger than the breasts. Then compare a men's size chart. Hips are typically 2 inches smaller than the chest. This is the ever strived for "drop" that men so eagerly seek. Besides, females are wider simply because at some point long ago it was decreed that they need more space at the pelvis to accommodate child birth. Makes sense to me, but raises hell with my clothing fitting.
Surely we have all seen an otherwise beautifully dressed, carefully made-up and totally stunning transgender person in an expensive outfit with lovely breasts, but no hips. The rear and sides sag in a dead give-away. (We will leave the voice for another time.) Come on, admit it, men's chest measurements exceed their hips and waist. (Or should and beer and other "belly" problems not with standing.) Combine that with a female tendency toward "saddlebags" and you have a serious image and presentation problem for females that men do not have.
Big deal, another problem, so get on with a solution already!!
Try custom tailoring. But that is expensive, and I mean like really costly. And it still fails to produce the feminine look of hips. It can make the clothes fit wonderfully, but no "seat" and no hips remain as a signal that something isn't natural. You might fool a few males, including yourself, but probably not a single female or most men. You might also try buying a blouse or jacket of one size and a skirt or slacks of another. Also expensive. Workable, but costly.
The next step is commercial panties with pads. Usually UGLY and lumpy. Great under a loose fitting outfit but with stretch jeans or tube dress or skirt, ugly. Or try a snug mini with lumpy pads, but stay out of the light and public when you do. Why?? Because the pads are, generally, too localized and not carefully tapered as in the natural female body. And the real comedy comes from the "one size fits all" pads. Yeah, sure and my real name is Marilyn Monroe.
Speaking of mini-skirts, better a lumpy look than a flat one. Most of us want to look like someone we admire and forget the real us, and that is why hips become important. No matter who your role model is, she has hips. Anyway, mini-skirts and other tight revealing outfits require HIPS. And that includes a derriere, seat, rear, butt, call it what you want but get one. Better yet, leave these fashions to those with the natural equipment to wear them and go for the natural look. If your goal is passing (being accepted) then hips are in.
Individual solutions can take several routes. First, make a conscious effort to reduce your waist size. By diet and exercise the waist can be reduced and to make male hips seem less masculine.
Then, become fashion and style conscious. Loose fitting tops and sweaters with no discernible waist line make a stylish and simple look. This will hide the "belly" and cover up a less than feminine waist/hip ratio. NEVER, as in not ever, a belt, unless you are blessed with an exceptional figure. Or, if you do wear a belt, wear a wide one and be prepared to breath only occasionally because you should pull it as tightly as possible thereby reducing your waist and enhancing your hips. Pleats in skirts and slacks, solid colors, especially black or other dark colors, and good posture. Besides a tight belt tends to make you stand up straight.
Good posture?? Right!! Try it. Stand up and, if possible, relax into your normal posture. Probably your stomach sticks out, your chest sags and your shoulders are rounded a bit. Now, tighten your stomach (suck in the gut if you insist on a macho phrase), stand up straight and look proud, just as your Mother used to say. You will notice first that your chest (breasts) are more prominent, not great, just better. Then you will notice that your hips look better because your waist is smaller, temporarily. And anything you can do to enhance those hips is a major plus. (Some say that women enhance their breasts to detract from their hips.) ((Interesting switch, they want smaller hips and we need bigger ones.))
Anyway, add to the posture a well designed and well made waist cincher undergarment (see wide belt above) and you are on the way toward a more acceptable female you. Let's not get into the heavy figures, either male or female, but deal with the waist smaller than the hips ones.
Pads?? Get good ones that extend well down the thigh, fill the seat and that do not create lumps or clearly defined lines. They must flow naturally and smoothly to conform with the rest of your body. That means you may have to forget the Victorias Secret or Fredericks lingerie. Who will see it anyway?? Oops, sorry I asked. Get your favorite outfit and do some experimenting with assorted pads, postures and undergarments. No matter what your size, the hips are where the femininity shows. And swallow your vanity and get the straight or thigh cut panties so that when, not if, you wear pads, they will be held smoothly and firmly. The day of the girdle or at least the stretch panty is back to keep pads smooth and in place. A pad shouldn't look like a pad it should look like a part of you.
A major consideration in pads is that they lay smoothly and not leave or show a discernible "panty" line, in this case "pad" line. This is where the stretch undergarment becomes essential. Under minis or knits or any figure fitting garment, it is even more important to eliminate the line.
When out for an evening, I like to wear fairly slim fitting dresses, tube or column dresses if you prefer, knits and suits. Hips become a necessity in them because the figure shows more. Anyway, for these fashions I have designed and made my own custom pads that fit well and suit my figure. Even in a bathing suit they look natural. BUT, my bathing suit is a conservative level thigh cut with a little skirt, so it helps the "hippy" image. My pads were cut and formed from 1 inch thick foam. They are a sort of thick "L" shape that wraps around my lower hips to form a derriere also. Each one is cut carefully with tapered edges to flow smoothly and not project the "line" mentioned earlier. I had a great collection of blisters from cutting and shaping these. But the results are worth it, them (the blisters).
Which brings up a special problem with pads, visits to the ladies room when out for an evening. Depending upon how you wear them, they can require major reconstruction to get into and out of if necessary. So, buy the panties, stretch of course, that have the snap or hook/eye crotch openings. All of this will cost a bit more but avoiding the super embarrassment of dropping a pad, or taking forever, or breaking a nail struggling with a recalcitrent panty and pad, are worth it. A little home practice will help tremendously. Stitch the pad into the panty?? If you want, but laundry may be a problem.
Day wear is something else, and the casual sloppy look is hip independent as long as the blouse or top is loose and hanging freely. The stirrup pants and a big loose top do not require a hippy look. So leave the pads at home.
Recently on TV there was a show discussing the transgender trend in the movies today. All the way from "Tootsie" to "To Fong Woo.." and "Priscilla.." and the "Crying Game" to name but a few. The point was made that male-to-female parts are easier to portray because men need merely add to an appearance via breasts, HIPS and cosmetics. Whereas a female-to-male part is more difficult because the female must subtract parts such as breasts and HIPS. It was more complex than that but I think you get the point. Add hips!! I mean really, if the movie makers feel that to fool you and create reality, and they consider hips to be important, then we might be well advised to do the same. Become a hippy.
The next time you see your favorite role model or an appealing female, examine what it is that is so attractive. Most of the time your list will include hips, often disguised as a trim waist or ample bosom. After all, why do pin-up photos so often show rears and hips as well as breasts?? And ask yourself a key question, Do I have the physique and means to project that image?? Whatever you do, find an image that is natural and realistic and add HIPS.
I love the Rita Moreno look, but for me it is unattainable so I have settled on Marjorie Main. And I bet most of you are too young to know either of these ladies, but if you do then I hope you have a good chuckle.
And for those of you who ask, what makes me an authority?? I'm not, not by any means. I am merely experienced and trying to share some thoughts on what makes a person accepted in the feminine role and what doesn't. Your ideas and experiences may differ. Fine, as long as you are aware of the differences in image presentation and are satisfied with who you are how you present yourself.
In short Dears, get hippy, you will love yourself even more.