Couples

By Julie Freeman


Julie Freeman is a significant other who has been active in the gender community for over nine years, particularly with significant others and couples groups. Julie has contributed to the "Other Voices" column of the ETVC newsletter (THE CHANNEL) and also writes articles on gender issues for the DVG newsletter (DEVIL WOMAN), Tapestry Magazine, the Femme Mirror and the Internet (TGF). Julie was ETVC Member of the Year for 1995 and may be reached through the DVG hotline at 510-937-8432 or through DVG, PO Box 272885, Concord, CA 94527-2885.

Making the Other Significant

There is always much discussion and effort put into helping crossdressers and transsexuals feel comfortable at support groups and find the answers, if possible, to their many questions. Often there are educational seminars accessible to address their needs and social activities available to allow for intermingling of the various transgender lifestyles.

Family members, in particular wives and partners of crossdressers known collectively as SIGNIFICANT OTHERS, are welcomed into the transgendered support groups and frequently have special meetings of their own to address their needs. More recently there has been an increase in couples groups where the activities center around the crossdresser and his significant other. But for the most part support groups cater to the needs of the crossdresser and transsexual.

The question that comes up is how should support groups continue to support significant others who may no longer be in a relationship that allows them to feel comfortable attending gender meetings. In others words, when a couple breaks up, the crossdresser still has his support group, but the significant other may feel reluctant to continue attending gender activities alone.

Although she may feel comfortable attending an occasional SOS meeting, particularly designed just for significant others and partners, this may be somewhat limiting to her interests and needs. In all probabilitiy, she has already established friendships with other members of the support group who are not significant others and may even have found it very rewarding to attend support group activities.

Thus, gender groups have to find a way to allow for the continued participation of significant others, if they wish, to feel comfortable and still feel welcome. Keeping significant others happy should not be limited to those who are in a significant relationship.

(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)


Back to Transgender Forum's home page