Bluegrass BelleView

January 1998


 

Meeting: Saturday, January 17

We'll be meeting at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, corner of Bell Court and Main St., Lexington, Ky. The doors will open at 7PM, with the meeting at 8PM. Maria Price of the Kentucky Fairness Alliance is to be our guest speaker. After the meeting, as usual, we'll socialize together at a club or restaurant to be determined at the time.


Upcoming Community Activities

Saturday, January 10, 9pm, Vertigo. The Icy-Hot Show to benefit the YWCA Spouse Abuse Center, $5 with net proceeds going to the Center

Thursday, February 12, 9pm, Vertigo. The Miss Gay Valentine Pageant hosted by the Royal Sovereign Imperial Court of All Kentucky, Inc.

Saturday, February 21, Bluegrass Belles Monthly Meeting.

February 20-22, True Spirit Conference >98, Best Western Maryland Inn, Laurel, MD. Contact The American Boyz, PO Box 1118, Elkton, MD. 21922-1118 or email: transman@netgsi.com

March 24-29, IFGE ACrossing Borders@ Annual Convention. Contact IFGE, PO Box 229, Waltham, MA. 02254-0229 9. Information Packet available.

March 27-29, Northern Kentucky University (NKU) Come Together Kentucky Conference for GLBT student and other organizations, For more information- email: outfront@nku.edu


A Busy December......

By Anne Casebeer

The holidays are now over, and life can return to normal, but not before we recap what was a busy month for many in the group. The day after Thanksgiving, Dawn hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for several Belles. Dawn, RuthAnn, Marjorie, and myself found ourselves together in Lexington December 5 for a bit of pizza at Joe Bologna's, followed by some 8-ball at Yesterday's. The 13 found Dawn, Angela, RuthAnn, Terri, and myself out for a bit of shopping in Louisville; following that, Marjorie, Angela, and I headed for Brentwood, TN., where our sisters in crime, the Tennessee Vals, were holding their annual holiday bash. Saturday the 20th found Jennileigh Love and Pamela DeGroff of the Vals parked in my driveway in Louisville, awaiting my return from work; after which Jennileigh, RuthAnn, Angela, Dawn, Marjorie, Amy, and I dined at the newly-opened Oldenburgs BrewPub and Grill on Dutchmans Ln. Several of us then took in the show at the Comedy Caravan. The 21st was our first Christmas Party at the Wyndham Garden in Lexington. Despite the lingering afteraffects of the activities of the night before, Jennileigh gave a memorable address on building coalitions with the GLB community, and Steve Johnson and Pamela DeGroff performed for our listening pleasure. I hope all of you had a great holiday, and are ready for more interesting activities in 1998.


Full Circle of Women Conference

A radically different, politically incorrect, exploration of what it means to be a woman...This conference is for woman-identified individuals living their lives as

women: transgendered, nontransgendered ("biological"), transsexual (preoperative, nonoperative, and postoperative), and intersexed people living as women. It has particular relevance for women who are thinking about gender as a concept or as a personal issue and those who want to broaden their vision of womanhood or understand the range of transgender experience more fully. Writers, therapists, educators, friends and partners of transgendered women, political activists, and leaders in the gender community have found this conference inspiring. Participants at previous Full Circle weekends have called it "an amazing experience," "an incredible gift," and "a major turning point." In 1998, this conference will be held in Southern California March 27-29, and November 13-15, and in Massachusetts April 24-26. For complete brochure on paper or online, contact Janis Walworth by email at merkins@cris.com, by phone at 310-670-2222, or write to Center for Gender Sanity, PO Box 451427, Westchester, CA 90045. This information can also be found at our website www.cris.com/~merkins/fcw.shtml

(Reprinted from Press Release)


Planning For Lobby Days 1998

By Dana Priesing

Dana Priesing is GenderPAC's lead lobbyist - Ed.

In an effort to plan ahead & improve the event, we've been doing some preliminary thinking & outreach work around Lobby Days 1998. Here's a brief report on the upcoming event & how you can help if you're interested.

THEMES & ISSUES

We would like to begin laying the foundation for an annual event that addresses issues of gender, racial & affectional equality, and addresses areas of oppression *functionally* rather than by emphasizing individual identities and rights claims. Moreover, we want to touch the next generation of stakeholders & leaders in activism around these issues, starting with students from the more than half-dozen major universities in the local Washington D.C. metropolitan area. With that goal in mind, we have met with, and will continue to meet with, student activists, to discuss issues & mechanics.

At this point the selected issues are tentative, but we'd like to concentrate on perhaps three to five of the following:

1. Hate Crimes/Tolerance: Dana suspects that the companion hate crimes bills will still be pending when next Spring rolls around, providing a vehicle for discussion and the opportunity to show support for the work of the D.C. hate crimes coalition. If the bills remain pending, the issue will be one that will attract some interest on Capitol Hill. On the downside, the D.C. area universities are fairly tolerant environments. Bashings are rare, therefore this issue may not have great pull for potential student participants.

2. Job Discrimination/ENDA: This issue has a lot of pull among folk who identify as or are perceived to be TG, TS or gender-different C including students who have encountered difficulty finding work because of their gender expression (dress, manner, style, or the like). On the downside, unemployment is at a 25-year low, & interest in ENDA on the Hill is marginal at best. Therefore this issue may not attract the sympathetic ear that we would prefer

3. Freedom to Marry: This issue is hot hot hot, with DOMA having been passed last year by Congress, and further moves likely in Hawaii and other states. It strongly pulls folk from across the queer spectrum, including students. There's no current vehicle to use as an entre to discussion, but expression of disapproval for DOMA provides an entre to discussion of the disbenefits associated with inability to make legal unions. (Dana loves this issue, but that doesn't count.) Downside: it could be like poking a stick in a bees' nest.

4. Solomon Amendment: A little background about this: the military bars GLBT folk from serving. In response, many universities barred on-campus military recruiting. In retaliation, Congress passed the Solomon Amendment denying certain types of federal financial support to universities barring on-campus military recruiting. This issue seems to pull law students pretty well. Downside:Perhaps a bit complex.

5. Other Issues: Hopefully the ISNA team will be back to talk about IGM. In addition, we're investigating and chatting with students about appropriate issues involving race, Title IX, and HIV. And who knows what will come over the transom between now and next Spring. Got any good issue ideas? Let Dana know at 202-347-3024 or danapriesing@earthlink.net.

For those of you who are nervous about broader scope, let me emphasize: Lobby Days 1998 *will* deal with issues of gender-difference. So even if your main thang is job discrimination & you could care less about hate crimes or anything else, you oughta be there, & GenderPAC will not silence your voice. We like multiple voices, standing together.

WHEN

Lobby Days 1998 will be 4/20 & 4/21. Sunday 4/19: Brief conference to admire our collective strength & discuss issues to be covered, Capitol Hill advocacy, do's & don't's, etc. Monday & Tuesday 4/20 & 21 Hit the Hill. After each person or group makes a visit, they visit a payphone & call the cell number for the person stationed at the laptop for the associated body (House or Senate), who then marks off the target just visited, & assigns the next convenient target. Monday evening meeting to debrief, discuss problems, etc. Tuesday: more of the same. Finally: Declare victory & retreat, crack open the beer,& debrief.

ACTION ITEM #1

Last year several folk offered to help with the next event. Those of you who want to help with this (actually it's a lot of work -- last year Riki & Dana put in four weeks of person time -- it would be nice to spread the load), let Dana know.

ACTION ITEM #2

Those of you who plan to come, let Dana know. She wants to start a rough attendance list.

Best wishes to all, Dana Priesing


Keep America Beautiful

By Jennifer Comer

For numerous years, this has been a staple motto of the United States. This column is devoted to applying the same principles to our Community.

MAKEUP: BEARD COVERAGE, PART I

What better way to initiate this column than to discuss a major nemesis! Even after the closest shave that leaves us bleeding from every pore, that shadow persists as an irritant and identifier for nearly all of us. Inadequate concealment and the disdain for being read may equate to a fate worse than death. Those of us who have spent hours searching the Web are well aware that there are numerous schemes to overcome this genetic blemish. But what really works? And how much of our dressing time will it consume?

There are numerous opaque foundations from which to choose. And the key is opaque. Unless you are so far advanced as to have subjected yourself to permanent beard removal, anything short of opaque will prove inadequate. Covermark and Dermablend are high profile favorites (and equally high priced). But the vast majority of us have a limited budget, and all of our cosmetics are an ongoing expense. Liquid foundations work well for some and are easier to apply, but provide inadequate coverage for most of us. For especially reliable coverage, heavy creams (either in a tube or in a jar) or pancake best fit our needs. I used pancake makeup for years, up until about 4 years ago. Pancake does give a very nice matte coverage and can be applied repeatedly until satisfactory coverage is attained. I found, however, that I needed an opaque cream underneath the pancake to achieve satisfactory beard cover. This became rather time consuming since I have always been very careful with this vitally important step. The products also direct one to apply the pancake with a makeup sponge. This may be fine for GGs, but it doesn=t leave a very heavy coat of color, requiring several applications for adequate results. I did manage to save some time by literally "painting" the pancake on with a soft brush (like one for a blusher). This was better, providing a heavier coating with each application, but was still an overly prolonged process. I switched back to the opaque creams.

As a beard cover, I currently use a combination of two products, an opaque cream, blushes, and a translucent loose powder. The opaque foundation is a product of Signature Cosmetics, comes in a variety of shades, and is distributed by the Walgreens and Revco Drug chains, and perhaps others, costing about $4.50 for a container. The container is small and won=t consume much space in your purse (fortunately, a little goes a long way) and has a clear screw-on top to prevent accidental opening. This foundation is a densely opaque thick paste.

Who has ever found a foundation/beard cover that matches perfectly? It will take some experimentation with shades to determine the best for your complexion. All of the books that I=ve read recommend matching the foundation to the skin on the underside of your forearm. I suppose that=s close, but my face is an entirely different shade. Expect to need a minimum of two shades for the shading of colors to contour your face (deceitfully conceal the imperfections). Consider stocking three shades - the best match, and the shades just barely lighter and just barely darker - to effect the best facial "canvas" from which to create your best image. In order to achieve the necessary amount of coverage, I apply this foundation cover in two steps. First, I rub the foundation into the pores of my beard with a circular motion using a fingertip. I know this is supposed to be a no-no and encourage pimples, but I=ve had no problems. This rubbing technique seems to coat the remaining deep stubble, which apparently remains coated as it grows out (mine does not show after as much as 24 hours!, at which time it is easily felt). Next, tap the foundation on with a fingertip over the areas that aren=t completely covered. The tapping adds coverage in key areas and creates a very minimal variation in color that enhances coverage. Next tap the foundation at the edges of the application to blend the borders of the foundation into cheeks and neck. This does a remarkable job of disguising any definitive edges. The lighter and darker shades of foundation cover can be used to "contour" your face. This alters an observer=s perception of the shape and curvature of your face. The GGs are experts at this (there are not really as many raving beauties as there appear to be). Experimentation

is again in order. Use the darker shade to de-emphasize particularareas or facial features, and use the lighter shade to highlight. Your goal is to make your face appear to be an oval with no prominent features. This may sound like an impossibility, but most of us can achieve a very passable countenance. Check out some of the ladies= magazine before-and-after makeup pictures to see just how impressive the effect can be. Use the same tapping technique to blend any areas of demarcation between adjacent shades of foundation. Once you are satisfied, allow this foundation to "cure" for about 10 minutes while you busy yourself elsewhere. Your result is the "canvas" upon which you can subsequently create your "face." You have not yet progressed to a stage equivalent to the skin with which every GG was born. Beard coverage is, however, such an absolute necessity that these steps must be taken very seriously and completed with expertise.

Next month, we will start with the "Morticia" face that you have created in this initial makeup step and proceed with the creation of a lovely new you to present to the world. PLEASE feel free to send your experiences and suggestions (on nearly any topic) for inclusion in subsequent articles. Your contribution will be identified by adding your E-mail address. It is NOT necessary to be a member to contribute This column will appear as often as I can find an opportunity to hide and create it.

Enjoy!

Jennifer Comer


Ask Harriet

... is a brash new half-hour comedy in the tradition of "Some Like It Hot," "Tootsie" and "Mrs. Doubtfire." New York's most popular advice column, "Ask Harriet," has always been written by a woman, until now! Super macho Jack Cody (Anthony Tyler Quinn), a notorious womanizer and hothead who wrote the tough, opinionated column "A Man's World," has been fired from most of the dailies in town and when a multi-million dollar harassment suit catches up with him, he's sent packing from the last respectable paper. He applies for the "Ask Harriet" job to take revenge on his editor and former flame, Melissa Peters (Lisa Waltz). And he is desperate for a job to keep his alimony up to date and his 10-year-old daughter Blair (Jamie Renee) in ballet lessons. With best buddy Ron (Willie Garson), a restaurant critic, in tow, Jack secretly applies for the position of writing the advice column on

the death of the current "Harriet," confident that there's nobody better to tell women what they should do when faced with jerks like him. He thinks he can write the column from home, until Melissa insists on meeting the new "Harriet," so Jack goes to work transforming himself into one helluva good-looking woman. Billy Riback ("Home Improvement") and Jonathan Prince

are executive producers for Columbia TriStar Television in association with Bris Entertainment. Patrick Malone will be playing 'Trey Anderson'.

From FOX press-release information


My Transgendered Experiences

By Erica Miller

This all started several years ago, when one day I just started wondering how it must feel to my wife to be so beautiful, and wear such wonderful and sexy clothing. So, after a while of asking her about it, I realized she was not catching the hints. I then asked her what she thought about me dressing up as a girl. Well, I=m sure most of you know how that went. She did not take it well; she thought I was gay, or worse. After a few days of her seeing how much I wanted and needed to do this, she allowed me. It was so wonderful, I enjoyed it so much, I kept doing it more and more often .After about a year or so I was getting fairly good and was wanting to get out .This is when I finally got the nerve to contact the Belles. It was a good move. I went to a few of the meetings alone. Bonnie started asking me how it was, and whether I had fun or not .I then realized that she wanted to go with me, so I asked her. Ever since, she has been going out with us as a group. My wonderful wife is transgender- friendly, and she loves her Erica. That is the most wonderful feeling a transgendered person can have. So, for all that are married and crossdress, please have your wife contact Bonnie, and she will tell you that it won=t take away the man. I am still the same strong construction worker I have always been, and will always be her man - and her Erica. I hope to have more next time, and I will be updating my web site often. Please feel free to visit me.

Your Gender sis, Erica Miller


 

Our Time in Eden

by Anne Casebeer

Isn=t she cute? Everybody used to tell Mom that she had a cute little girl, with her curly blonde hair and blue-green eyes. Of course, they were making an assumption, and we all know what happens when a person ass-u-me-s. When you get to see a mother's newborn baby, don't you ask the obligatory "what is it?" question? If you don't ask the question, then you probably assume what gender the baby is from how it's dressed and its general appearance. Of course, the first thing the doctor looks for when delivering the baby is what type of genitalia it has, and since Dr. Kaplan couldn't ask this baby what gender it felts itself to be, (and, if he had, I probably would have asked for a beer while I decided) you are reading this article and attending TG support group meetings with me. Had they asked me, and I had been able to reply, the chances are pretty good that I wouldn't have wanted to choose at that time. To tell the truth, I'm still not certain which I'd choose, if pressed to decide. I think I'd rather decide not to decide on one or the other, and opt for something in between.

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice,

I can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill,

I can choose all by myself, I will choose free will

Geddy Lee (Rush), Free Will

That stated, consider whether you make the same mistake the doctor did. If you are reading this, you probably are more enlightened about gender matters than, say, 95% of the population. Still, how often do we decide for ourselves where a fellow transgendered person falls in the continuum of gender? Admit it, upon being introduced to a fellow transperson, haven't you asked whether they were TS or CD? I know I have, and it=s a bad habit that I'm breaking. Keep in mind that many of us haven't decided or don=t want to decide what we are, and it=s perfectly OK to just be yourself and occupy your own niche. Respect that fact in others, please. And while we're at it, let's respect those who do know what they are, and what space they occupy in the TG continuum. A friend recently resigned the presidency of her support group, and, indeed, left her group entirely, partly because a few members of her group could not accept her as the woman she is until she completes SRS. Not only was their treatment of her nonsupportive to the extreme, it also showed ignorance of the basic idea that gender is a personality trait, not a reflection of a person's genitalia. In the TG world, people are who they feel they are, and it falls to each of us to accept and celebrate that fact, and respect each other=s feelings and presentation.

Dr. Sarah Fox, Vice-President of Crystal Club, and editor of the Crystal Chronicle, wrote this recently on this subject:" The single most common injury we inflict on others, often unintentionally, often with malice, is our judgment. As well liked and respected as I seem to be, even I have fallen victim to injury at the hands of my sisters. I have been categorized variously as a TV or a TS apparently with little regard for my feelings on the matter, as suited the personal needs of the person categorizing me. I have been told by the same people at different times that I'm pretty, that I'm not pretty, that I pass, that I don't pass, that I'm a ruthless despot, that I'm a kind and thoughtful leader, and so forth. I didn't ask for their opinions, yet they had some personal need to impose them on me, and it has always hurt. The one thing that thankfully nobody has been so presumptuous as to assert is that I am somehow not a woman. I am very lucky, because I have seen several friends torn apart over this very issue. It is very much the same sort of insult as African Americans use on each other when they call each other "white." To deny another person's fundamental identity is always hateful and hurtful in the extreme.

Please don't gloss over this point. It is very important: To deny another person's fundamental identity is always hateful and hurtful in the extreme. (Emphasis mine-Ed.)

For instance, if I say I am a woman, having come to terms with myself only after 36 years of life, it doesn't take a Nobel laureate to anticipate that I would take great offense at someone else being so arrogant as to tell me I'm wrong, simply on the basis of my appearance or a ten minute conversation. I have known others who have agonized over whether they are TV or TS, finally coming to the decision they're TS only after months or years of soul searching. Then another TS will refuse to acknowledge that personal truth simply because he or she doesn't want to have that person sharing the same gender category. Whether others perceive a person as TV or TS seems to depend as much on matters of appearance, personality, or congeniality as it does on one's actual gender identity. It's superficial, it's hurtful, and it's wrong.

I feel very strongly that the very minimum we should expect from a gender support group is support on gender issues. When most of society refuses to acknowledge our chosen or preferred gender, should we not have a place we can go where it is acknowledged, respected, honored, and even celebrated? I find it highly ironic that I am almost treated more like a woman by the public at large than by my own gender community. When I declare, "I am a woman," my sisters and brothers should affirm, "Yes, you are a woman." When I declare that I am a TV or TS, my sisters and brothers should affirm that too. My transgender family should trust me and respect me and accept me at face value."

Amen, Dr. Fox! 'Couldn't have said it better.

We've invented a lot of scientific-sounding alphabet soup to describe different types of transgendered people, and these terms do serve a purpose. I can accept that a MtF TS has many unique issues to deal with, and may want to know who else in a group is also TS, so they can compare notes with those who are walking the same pathway, but do we really need to ask a person on first meeting if they are TS or TV? I've watched transpeople do that right after they learn the person=s name, and many times, I feel that it's being used to form a judgment of that person. I get to see a lot of support group newsletters, and a common subject of late has been the question of "do we really have a TG community, and if so, is it fractured?" I know of too many situations where transpeople have divided along TS versus TV/CD lines, and I regard that division as a complete farce. Can we please consider getting to know someone a little before we ask them to tell us what they took years to figure out, if indeed they have? This whole action leads to another TG irritant for me: the idea that CD/TVs and TSs can't get along or have little in common. It is an idea whose time, I hope, never comes; we have to support each others, particularly in an area such as Kentucky, where those who think we=re immoral and dangerous don't differentiate between us. Dr. Fox wrote on this topic recently, as well:

"In the broadest perspective, the lady sitting in the stall next to us has no idea whether we are TV, TS, DQ, or whatever, and she probably doesn't even understand the differences. All she knows is that someone who is/was male in at least some manner walked into the restroom with her and is peeing next to her. The regard and respect she has for that person depends largely on the regard and respect we have for each other and for her. There are much bigger issues that face us -- matters of our most fundamental civil and human rights. Isn't it silly to let our community fall apart over matters such as bathroom privileges? We will all thrive or perish together. Let's thrive. Let's unite once more!'

Sabrina Marcus suggested in her address at SCC in October 1997 that more TVs should attend the lectures aimed at TSs, and that all of us should learn more about FtM issues. That would go a long way to foment greater understanding, togetherness, and, yes, community. We CAN support each other, I've seen it happen too often, and I'm proud to be a support resource for all in the community. If I don't know the answer, I know where to find it and who to talk to, and can always listen and care, whether you are a TS, CD/TV, SO, or transwhatever. I would hope that all of us agree with this concept, and would offer ourselves as friends and supporters of any who question their birth gender in any way. It's our only way of paying back those who gave us the information we needed.

While we're at it, why don't we also respect a person's presentation and appearance a bit more? . There is too much emphasis on appearance - that's a societal problem, not just a TG problem. Like it or not, the most attractive of us tend to be the most popular, and by doing that, we necessarily overlook the wallflowers. Much is made of passing, or not passing, and there is too much emphasis on whether or not we pass, which is another term for being "attractive", in the way that a genetic female is judged to be attractive or unattractive. We too easily forget that not all men resemble Leonardo DiCaprio or David Duchovny, nor do many women possess the looks of Paulina Poriszkova or Angie Everhart. It=s easy to forget that many genetic women are large, overweight, have facial structures that are not particularly feminine, rough voices, receding hairlines, and other physical "flaws", that, if present, render a TG person "readable" in the eyes of their peers. Yet, if a TG person has any of these, they are, gasp, not passable, and therefore not fit to be seen with in public, in the opinion of some elitists. It reminds me of the scene in "Titanic", when the women, children, and some men from the first-class salon are allowed to board the lifeboats while the steerage-class passengers are locked below decks to drown. Being born with money should not have been the factor that determined whether or not people lived or died at sea, and being born with perfect skin, light beard, a slender physique, pretty features, and a high voice should not determine whether or not you are accepted by your gender group peers, or invited to group events. True, if you are one of the lucky ones who "passes" perfectly, you have every right to go out on the town on your own, but in a group outing, be assured that you will never have my support for excluding any member, regardless of how they may look. If a person is a member of this group, as far as I'm concerned, they are welcome. Will we be read? Get this, if you are in a group, the group will be read, and that's a good thing; by being seen in public as well-behaved, responsible adults, people who happen to be attired somewhat differently, we help others know that they don't have to hide. If others hadn't done that for us, we wouldn't have been here, right?

If it sounds like I'm performing a splenectomy on myself, so be it. Perhaps the baby picture is appropriate after all, given the tone of this. Don't get me wrong, things are pretty harmonious here in Kentucky; we have a disparate group of individuals who get along, wherever they are in the TG continuum. However, I see what is going on outside our area, and to some degree, I don=t want some of these afflictions to get here. I don=t want to have to find cures for "we can't let her come along, she doesn't pass-itis", "I don't want to hang out with those stuck-up Ts's-osis", "She's just a cross-dresser syndrome", or the deadly "She's still a he until her surgery-disease." I'd rather we all get vaccinated against these and other diseases, borne of virulent disrespect, before they get carried to this group of people. It's easier to stop an epidemic before it starts. So, please take a few minutes, and look at Vanessa Edwards-Foster's article, Cathy Platine's, and Jane Ellen Fairfax', give their varied points of view a lot of thought, roll up your sleeve, and allow your mind to be vaccinated against these dread diseases. It might hurt a bit to see truth, but give it some thought. There are too few of us, and too many who oppose us, for us to be fighting each other.

Freedom and Mascara!

Anne Casebeer


Hierarchy & Fragmentation

The Dismantling of the Gender Community

By Vanessa Edwards-Foster

Recently a few articles have brought to light a continuing problem in the Transgender Community -- exclusive or divisive attitudes. One article from Linda Phillips, editor of Boulton & Park Society's newsletter, reopened a persistent argument about the demise of the Gender Community. In it she mentioned Kymberleigh Richards (editor of the now-defunct Cross Talk) and her blast at the entire TG community (She then remarked on "the selfishness of those [in] Genderworld," and a tendency to pursue our own dreams while leaving behind those remaining to have fulfilled theirs. In another article Ms. Phillips pointed out the TS's reputation for "no sense of humor" in regards to taking personal criticism and their tendency to disappear after surgery, the trivial nature of crossdressers who focus wholly on their appearance and clothes, closeted folks who haven't found the courage to step out of the closet, and publicly outlandish fetishists who in her opinion should go back into the closet.

From the Femme Forum, Jane Ellen Fairfax levelled a shot at the "passable" crossdresser. In the article she described a case of an individual at a transgendered convention who demanded, "Keep the group away from me. They'll get me read!"(an insensitive comment and totally uncalled for, especially considering the situation.) She then goes on to claim that the "crossdresser intent on passing" does the cause of education and acceptance "real harm" and to attempt to pass is "selfish and intellectually dishonest." Later in the same newsletter, facilitator Brandi Welch brought up issues of contention concerning Tri-Ess's excluding others because of sexual orientation. In it she discusses her receiving numerous missives on the various reasons her group should remain exclusive as such, but doesn=t understand the persistence of those arguments from within the group considering that nobody is picketing Tri-Ess meetings, or gate-crashing events. Later in the article she mentioned her hormone therapy, electrolysis, membership in TATS, and pursuit of living full time as female -- likely an attempt to head off future arguments of her validity as facilitator for a heterosexual crossdressing chapter. Yet a firestorm may have just begun, as one "friend of" Tri-Ess, a pre-op TS, has already questioned the criteria for exclusion of full membership to full-time TG's or eventual transsexuals in light of the same article.

Yet another article forwarded to me by Cathy Platine, points out the lack of acceptance and sensitivity from the crossdressers in their group. The initial problem arose from the >bathroom issue= but evolved into an argument, with the crossdressers stating that "until [she is] post-operative, [she is] a man and should be treated as one." and that regardless of her living full-time as female under the dictates of her RLT (Real Life Test), "[she has] no right to use a woman's restroom." She then surmises that the crossdresser, that their behavior is still primarily male, and that their relating to the "female within" is, in essence, fallacy.

It goes without saying that many, or all, of the above categories have made little secret of distancing themselves from gay transvestites and female impersonators. Their appearance and behavior are viewed as embarrassing caricatures of the stereotypes we all live down. Regardless of the circumstances that occurred previously which contributed to their being who they are, the tendency is to group them into one seemy amalgam with no desire of femininity whatsoever. In general they're looked upon as "drag queens" -- dregs of the community whose entire raison d'être is to have sex with men.

There's a gulf that divides us when we separate ourselves into finely honed, or smaller, sub-groups. Reasons vary regarding why this occurs. There are some who welcome a more exclusive approach to their circle of peers, choosing only to associate with those of similar mindsets. At other times there are miscommunications and misunderstandings that occur, and those words create unintended divisions within the community. Whatever the reason, divisiveness among our loose-knit community is what will eventually dissolve what community we have. Divisive or exclusionary attitudes can be boiled down to one component: hierarchial mentalities...the feeling that "our group is better than theirs." Hierarchies in the TG community was a topic on a recent Transgender Community Forum's Gazebo chat room on AOL. Unfortunately I was unable to log on and participate. The Email sent to me by TCF coordinator Gwen Smith did bring up some interesting questions which I=ll attempt to address (with a little rearranging in the order of the questions).

Why is their a hierarchy mentality within the TG community? Grouping according to commonality is natural instinct and is not peculiar to transgenders. We all tend to naturally gravitate to those with the same general cultural background, interests, or experiences. Further still we'll then seek out those of similar experience levels within the general groupings. The problems that arise are when these groups then become exclusive. Naturally, someone who's been excluded would feel hurt or offended. The problems are exacerbated when one group or subset develops a >better than thou= attitude towards another. While it's true there are traits or talents that distinguish one from another, we shouldn't develop superior attitudes to trivialize others we deem lesser than ourselves. We all have different talents, different experiences and different views to contribute to the whole.

Is the competition inherent in some the root of this mentality, and does that act as a negative influence on others in the community? Competing for attention is also natural. We all crave it as children. As we grow we tend to develop our competetive urges differently: little girls pursue it in appearance, and/or more creative or artistic fashion; while little boys are societally and/or genetically programmed to compete more overtly -- to win games, battles, acclaim, etc. Friendly competition is positive and can keep one strong, but when its ultimate goal is for feeling superior or dominant over another, it becomes negative. Competing should be limited to appropriate situations. Competing amongst those in our own community is divisive, and only serves individual egos.

Are there any benefits to a certain level of hierarchy, or is it all a bad thing? A hierarchy by definition implies various levels subordinate to levels above. In an organization=s administration it can benefit by setting a responsible party to guide the group, and responsible subordinates to help. This gives focus to the organization=s individuals who otherwise would likely stagnate without some catalyst to initiate consensual direction. However hierarchies in a community of individuals, or a community of groups within the whole, imply superiority to others arbitrarily deemed below our level. This is where hierarchies fail. There=s a tendency to consider neophytes beneath us, because of lack of experience. Another tendency is to consider those beyond our level, or those more zealous as extreme or even temerarious. There=s also the chance that we categorize too broadly, potentially underestimating or dismissing those whose talents we don=t appreciate or understand. Generally we view anyone not at our specific level as either suspect or unenlightened.

Does a hierarchy help or harm an individuals self-worth or self-esteem? The only individual helped by hierarchy is the one who, by virtue of feeling superior, can make another feel less worthy or devalued. Bringing others down to make yourself feel better never raises a community, it only lowers it. Eventually it even harms the arbitrarily superior individual by showing them to be self-centered, shallow and insensitive. As a result, their peers will consider them someone to avoid. Ultimately this attitude affects us all by affirming a negative image of transgenders in general.

Are there real differences between the ranks, and are their enough similarities to ease those differences? While we all share a commonality -- an attraction to the clothing, and/or the mannerisms, and/or the gender of the genetic sex we were not physically born to -- yet there are true distinguishing factors as well. Adopting a theory put forth by Martine Rothblatt, in general transgenderism is a continuum. With the ultimate terminus being post-surgical transsexuality, and the absolute beginning being the first flirtations with fetishism or novice crossdressing, there is a wide range of choices within transgender spectrum. Given that this is a continuum, most of us continue progressing through the various stages; moving on once we've decided we comfortably passed a certain level. For many, this transition through the stages can be lengthy. Because of societal stigmas and a general lack of accessible information on transgenderism, many start off as crossdressers -- often quite closeted -- before discovering their true desires. Others find their true desire is to be nothing more than a crossdresser. Some individuals will even start out in gay drag or even prostitution under the guidance of society's stereotype of "what a drag queen should be" before realizing that they feel out of place. Instead they discover, after finding information or groups of those that are their true peers, that they are in reality transgenderists or transsexuals. Tragic as that may sound, as long as the institutional stigmatization is in place, this scenario will continue. While it may seem to some of us that we share no common bond, there is one undeniable similarity: society views us all as one entity and will likewise discriminate against us in the same sweeping manner. The only way to win any rights and acceptance from the non-TG world is to unite and to educate them, as well as each other.

Which bring us to our final question: what do we stand to lose by perpetuating a hierarchy? Judging other individuals or groups tends to divide. Dividing then dissolves to "rock throwing"-- launching epithets or worse -- which causes a similar response from the other side. A by-product of our divisiveness is that we give arch-conservative moralists half a victory resulting from our lack of focus caused by the fragmentation. It plays right into the old strategy of divide and conquer. If we fragment as a community, we will become an even smaller minority than we already are as a whole. Moreover our disarray will erode any credibility we=ve built to this point, further jeopardizing our position regarding our rights. The dismissive attitudes and the firing of salvos at one another must stop if we hope to keep our community from completely dissolving. If we fragment our community we stand to lose all progress made to date, as well as losing any real chance of winning rights or respect and acceptance from society at large. We need to stop spending so much energy pointing fingers at each other, and spend more time educating ourselves on and understanding each other. Quoting Abraham Lincoln (a paraphrase from Mark 3:25), "A house divided against itself cannot stand."

Vanessa Edwards-Foster


Transgendered Community?

By Cathryn Platine

Is there such a thing as a transgendered community? This questions arises over and over. Many claim that a community including transvestites and transsexuals does exist and many support groups are of the "open" type which includes both. I was the president of such a group, I recently resigned. My experience was not uncommon among transsexuals working with transvestites. The level of understanding among the two groups is very limited, they are quite different. While referring to transsexuals, I will be talking about male to female for few female to male transsexuals join support groups.

Transvestites usually start off as fetishistic. They don't like to admit it, they sometimes deny it, but it is the simple truth. Often the sexual component of their crossdressing fades to a lesser importance as they get older, but rarely does it go away completely. Recent studies seem to indicate that the behavior is more complicated than just this, that like transsexuality, seeds can be seen long before puberty. Transsexuals would do well to remember this. The main friction between the two groups seems to stem from the sense of gender identity. Transvestites are men. Most of them are very happy to remain so and would not dream of giving up their male lives. Some may talk about the "inner woman", getting in touch with their feminine side or something like this, but the fact remains that the primary identity is male. Male to Female (MtF) transsexuals are women. Their identity is female, and only with rare exceptions, most eventually transition to the social role of woman that is much more fitting for them.

Just as in the larger society, the same misunderstandings that are found between men and women are found between transvestites and transsexuals. Just as in relationships between men and women, the two groups can work together and support each other. Just like relationships between men and women, they rarely really understand each other. Understanding between the two groups is further complicated by several factors. From the outside, there appears little difference between transvestites and transsexuals. They both consist of biological males who dress in women's clothing and this crossdressing behavior is the thing that is most noticeable about both groups. It is this common behavior that joins them together in open support groups. It is this common behavior that tricks so many into thinking that this behavoir is part of a continuum with fetishistic transvestites on one end and fully female identified, surgery tracked transsexuals on the other end. This thinking is false and leads to the misunderstanding between the two groups. The difference is basic and mental. A transvestite brain is male, a transsexual brain is female.

As is true among most men, the penis is central to the transvestite's sense of maleness. Just as is true among most men, this colours much of how they see the world. While a pre-operative transsexual may still have a penis, it is not only not a part of their identity, it is a painful reminder of the gap between themselves and other women. Our society, being male dominated, places far greater importance on penises than such a relatively simple piece of skin warrants. Transsexuals are often cruelly denied their identity as female by the state and by the rest of society because of the presence of this "male marker". It is little wonder that so many single-mindedly pursue surgery to correct what is to them, a birth defect. Among a support group they, not unreasonably, expect that the presence of this defect should not be the basis of denying their identity, but sadly, all too often this proves wrong. This is what I found as well. Being men, transvestites place the penis on the pedestal of identity and being men, they sometimes cruelly use the presence of one to deny a transsexual woman's identity. I have been told that until I am post-operative, I am a man and should be treated as one by several transvestite "sisters". I have been told than even though I live my life as a woman 100% of the time, I have no right to use a woman's restroom because I might upset someone with the presence of a penis that no one ever sees! They would doom me to never using a public restroom or placing myself in the path of ridicule or even possible physical harm by using men's restrooms. I was unable to change the mind of these transvestites. The penis is so important to them that they can overlook the reality of my life, my hormonally changed body, my entire sense of who I am and not see anything wrong with this. Small wonder that after exposure to this type of "support" so many transsexuals want absolutely nothing to do with transvestites. Just as is true with most men, far too many transvestites simply cannot understand the female mind.

When I first attended a meeting of the support group I eventually became president of, I was struck by one main impression. It was a Christmas party and a dinner was prepared and served as part of the meeting. The people preparing the meal and who did the vast majority of the cleaning up were the wives of the crossdressers. The transvestite males, as is true of men the world over, ate the meal and afterwards gathered in knots and talked about sports and cars and other male activities. I found myself drawn too and identified with two of the spouses and a female visitor from a local women's shelter. I still joined the group because at that point in my life I had been unable to express the essential woman I was anywhere else and I did find afterwards several transsexual sisters I did identify with. This support was vital to my dealing with my transsexuality and my being able to assume the role of a woman that was my proper place. Although my need for the group quickly faded as I became more comfortable with myself, I saw the importance of this to those like me who followed and so I was willing to take on the responsibility of being an officer of the group. I believed that my presence would help my fellow members who were transvestites understand the differences between us and we would be able to work together. While this seemed to be true with some, far too many transvestites were still willing to deny my identity. After cruelly being attacked by a founder of the group, a transvestite, I resigned.

Can the two groups work together? I still believe they can but only if the transvestites learn that to a transsexual woman, any denial of their identity is going to be meet with shock, horror and pain. Only if transvestites somehow learn that transsexual women are women and not full time crossdressers. Only if transvestites can rid themselves of the penis-centric view of the world that far too many of them carry around as part of their male baggage.

Communities consist of individuals. Individuals are, well, individual. Men and women work together all the time for the common good, transvestites and transsexuals should be able to as well, but like men and women, the two groups are vastly different. Celebrate and acknowledge the difference and much can be done. Fail to see the difference and some will be hurt quite badly.

Cathryn Platine


Totally.....

By Angela Bridgman

Well, the holidays are over, and a new year begins. For me, this has been a very interesting year, one in which I underwent many changes. I am, quite literally, a completely different person, as 1998 rings in, than I was last year at this time. Last year, at this time, I was still "morphing", going to work as Rick, and living as Angela the rest of the time, but that was due to change soon.

At that time, I was still living in Pennsylvania, and working in New Jersey. In fact, as the new year began, I had two jobs. I was working for a temporary agency which would later fire me for transitioning, and I was also delivering a newspaper route. Things were going well, for me, but the walls were about to begin to crash in.

By February, I was working only the paper route, and was not even receiving unemployment benefits yet, the temp agency had attempted to block them. Later, I would receive them, with back payment. In an attempt to get even with me for this, the agency then decided to do everything in their power to prevent me from finding another job, by giving false and misleading job references, to any and all potential future employers. This left me with no alternative, but to sue them. This case is still ongoing, and, it looks as though I will win! However, in my personal life, things were going south, fast. As a result of the job troubles, I began to drink heavily, and became a very unpleasant person to be around. My first suicide attempt also came in March, and left me breifly hospitalized. In April, I again attempted suicide, and nearly succeeded. I was beginning to feel the pressures of no work, except the paper route, causing me a severe bout of depression, and low self-esteem. By May, I had, so I thought, found a job. It didn=t last long. However, in May, I did take part in National Lobbying Days, and, as a result, met a person who helped me to change my life.

The job ended three weeks after I started, as I was blamed for someone else=s conduct. At that point, I began toying with the notion of going to my former employer=s office, the temp agency, and start blowing people away. I recognized that this was not what I wanted to do, and that, in order to avoid it, I would have to move, far away. The farther the better, in fact. By mid-July, I arrived in Louisville. I arrived here with not even two quarters to rub together, no job, and not even a car. Thank God Anne Casebeer was willing to take me in, until such time as I could get back on my feet. I started a paper route almost immediately, in August. I remained virtually unemployed until November, when, finally, the call I was waiting for came through. It was the Census Bureau, offering me a job. Not exactly what I was looking for, as I wanted data entry, and this was for a Mail Processing Machine Operator, but, it was a foot in the door, and the light at the end of the tunnel. Christmas was a bittersweet time for me. With no blood family, save a cousin, an aunt, and an uncle, all in Chicago, I figured for a rough Holiday Season. But it didn=t happen that way. For the first time ever, I was able to count my blessings, rather than to dwell on the negative side of things. I am not sure how much of this has to do with my transitioning, but, I'd go to the window with heavy money that it was the largest part of it.

Yet, I am bothered when I hear crossdressers talking of transsexuals having an "elitist" attitude. I know what they are referring to, and they are partially correct. But, I feel they do not understand where that attitude comes from. Most transsexuals look upon crossdressers as girls who want to play, but don't have to pay. We transsexuals are unable to hide who and what we are. We face all of the discrimination that most crossdressers never knew existed. Most of the people who went to Lobby Days were transsexuals. Crossdressers, wake up! This is your issue too! You may not think so, but it is! If your boss were to discover that you crossdressed, in your own time, off company premises, you could still be fired for it! Yes, it can happen, and it has happened. Yet, most crossdressers seem to just want to play, and not do any of the work. That is where the "elitist" attitude comes from.

I am one of the transsexuals who can see that not all crossdressers are that way, but many transsexuals do not see this. It is time we stopped fighting each other, and labelling each other, and began to work together, all parts, into making our rights a reality. Let that be our goal for 1998!

Totally, Angela Bridgman

The Bluegrass Belles is a support and social group for all transgendered people, including transsexuals, transvestites, crossdressers, those who care for transgendered people, and their families and friends. We are an open group, and welcome anyone with a gender issue. We meet twice monthly for socializing and support, and can supply information on gender issues to anyone needing it. We welcome trades of newsletters with other TG groups, and allow reprintings.