Gender Identity Center Journal

Online Edition

November/December 1997


Welcome to the online edition of the GIC Journal, the newsletter of the Gender Identity Center of Colorado. Here, you'll find a sample of articles and features from our print edition. For all the news, vendors, photos and more, subscribe, or better yet become a member, of the GIC.


Contents


Lots of Sweat Transforms Space into Beautiful New Center

by Carolee Laughton

Lot of sweat, tears from overwork, and even a little blood, transformed the basement level in our building into a breath-taking new Center!

By the time this edition hits the street, the open house will have already been held (Nov.1), and hopefully you came to the open house to see for yourself the place that a lot of love, a good deal of "vision" and sweat equity built.

The G.I.C. is now renting most of the garden level at 1455 Ammons St., approximately 1640 square feet. The new Center has been created in the space directly beneath the old Center. It now includes rooms that serve as an office, foyer, much-improved library (out of the closet), and most notably; our larger "new and improved" meeting space.

Across the hall, where the old bail bond office was is a new room that will serve as a private meeting space/ living room, and also a back room for the G.I.C.'s Gold and Silver Key people. This space will include a changing area and make up table as well as display clothes donated to the Center for free use of members and guests. Even the rest rooms are now ours, and we made these fit into the overall decor, too.

The worker bees who planned the space, and piggybacking off one another's ideas, tore down walls, ripped up old carpet, put up new wall, wired and painted to transform our new space are: JoAnn Z., Robynne P., Lisa G., Wendy M., Jessie S., Roxann S., JoEllen W., Carolee L., Susan C Movers included Catherine "Cat" P., Teri C., Teri S., Lynn G. and Ken. Thanks.

We definitely worked--very hard--to make this new Center what you want: A professional space for you to come to learn, grow, explore yourself, and help others become the best that they can be in a homey, comfortable, safe and truly beautiful atmosphere.

We divided our library books and magazines into sections and have a video section as well. In addition, an IBM-PC computer donated to the Center is being upgraded to add to the Library. You can see what books and videos have been catalogued, or perhaps, in the future, be able to do online research.

If you'd like to read, a chair has been set up in the library for your pleasure. If games are more your style, you may also find a partner and play boardgames from our library collection.

While we may have completed the remodeling, changes to improve and add to what we already can now be implemented.


Members Make TransAuction A Wild Success!

by Carolee Laughton

High snowdrifts and slushy roads from Denver's second largest snowfall didn't daunt the giving spirit of this transgender community, Sunday evening, October 26. The Halloween dinner party was a blast, the costumes were wonderful! And this, the second annual TransAuction netted the G.I.C. a total of $882--a new record!

While no firm decisions have yet been made by your Board of Directors, the following are possible suggestions of what your kind donations might allow us to do: (1) replace an aging, uncomfortable couch--all the better to sit on my dears-- (2) purchase some audio-visual equipment to make videos for our library for our members to borrow; (3) replace our small, not-so-good television with a one better able to record/show videos; (4) replace some library books that have been lost or strayed since our last Center at W. 32nd Ave.

About 25 percent of those attending the TransAuction wore costumes, and many more were in gorgeous outfits. Kathy W., the Wicked Witch of the Web, won most realistic costume and I won most scary with my Xena, warrior princess, costume. (There were four judges, and I paid no one!--Still don't know why my costume was most scary, I didn't even brandish my sword much.)

Once again Jamie Lynn arranged a great show with her female impersonators, and several members, including our prez, Susan C., who sang "Shut up and Kiss Me," filled out the entertainment venue.

Good food, a good show, and good friends helped to make the evening a wild success!


PRESIDENTIAL PONDERINGS

From almost the first time I came to the G.I.C. (Dec. 16 will be 6 years), I've heard comments that the Center is "too gay." I'm still not exactly sure what that means. Is it possible that someone is worried that we're too happy? I think not.

Some of us are gay, lesbian, or bisexual and revel in it and take pride in being "out there." That's O.K. Many of us are not as forthcoming about our sexual orientation. That's O.K.. Some of us aren't sure about it or aren't ready to act on it if we are. That's O.K. Most of us are heterosexual and that's O.K., too. But I don't think that's what's meant when someone says that the Center is "too gay."

I think the concerns come from the fact that we've adopted the pink triangle into our logo and the rainbow into our T-flag. The t-flag, our best-selling item to date, is one of the two symbols of transgender pride that I am aware of. (The other is the "Freedom of Expression for Everyone" buttons (available at the Center) developed and distributed by the IFGE. I have heard a former member proclaim that she would refuse to wear or display these items because she is not gay; she is, however, transgendered.

HISTORY: In Nazi Germany, gay men were forced to wear the pink triangle and lesbian women the black triangle. The gay community has reclaimed these as symbols of pride. How much do you want to bet that many of those gay men and lesbians were transgendered? At the Stonewall Bar in 1969, the rallying point for the gay community, it was transgendered people who first stood up and told the police they wouldn't sit back and take this anymore.

I think a lot of people are scared that we're interacting too much with the gay community and that society-in-general will assume that all transgendered people are gay. Guess what, folks? They already do! When you first came out to someone (outside of the G.I.C.), what was the first question you were asked? For many of us, that question was "Does that mean you're gay?" (Personal History: Even thought I knew better, that was one of the first questions I asked my ex when he came out to me. When I first told my mother of my involvement at the G.I.C., the first, and only, question she asked was "Does that mean you're a lesbian?" I told her no at the time. Oh well.)

The simple truth is this: If transgendered people (from the most closeted crossdresser to the most re-closeted post-op TS) are ever going to get any legal protection (i.e., protection against job and housing discrimination, protection in custody fights, etc.), we need to align ourselves with a group that carries some political clout. Sadly, even if every transgendered person were out and proud, we probably still wouldn't have enough political clout. The group that we fit in with best is the gay, lesbian and bisexual community.

Aligning ourselves with the GLB community means more than asking them nicely to add transgender to GLB, thanking them, and moving on. They need to get to know us. We still have education to do, even with people who are supportive and compassionate to our cause. Even though the GLB community is aware of the transgendered, we're still mostly invisible. (See Amanda W.'s letter to the editor on page 4). We can't ask them to fight for the rights of people who aren't willing to fight for themselves.

To prove my point, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) continues to take the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA) before Congress. ENDA would outlaw job discrimination based on sexual orientation. Interestingly, when ENDA was originally written, it included the "T" word. Somewhere, someone decided they wouldn't get ENDA passed if they included the transgendered. So they took it out! So far, they haven't been able to get ENDA passed anyway, but do you really think they'll come back for us later? Many people are pushing HRC to add "transgendered" or "gender non-conforming appearance or behavior" language to ENDA. It hasn't happened yet. And it won't happen until more transgendered people start speaking up for themselves.

The City and County of Denver wrote an anti-discrimination ordinance several years ago. The wording was supposed to be "...sex, gender, sexual orientation. . . ." with "gender" to be interpreted in the broadest possible sense to mean "transgender." One of our former presidents helped to draft that ordinance. (I'm not sure if the word transgendered had been coined yet, or if, at that time, wasn't widely used, or if it was considered too radical). The word "sex" does not appear in the ordinance now and gender has the most common interpretation: male OR female.

Denver is not sure now how to deal with discrimination against transgendered people. That was obvious in April 1996 when one of our members contacted the Denver Anti-Discrimination Office (DADO) about the Red Lion Incident. She was told that unless this had to do with her sexual orientation, they couldn't help her. Thank you for calling. Goodbye.

It is long past time for the transgendered community to build an alliance with the gay community. If that means we become active with the Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire, I'll be there. If that means that we work with Equality Colorado, pushing for new hate crime legislation that includes transgendered, I'll be there. If that means taking part in PrideFest, I'll be there. Loud and proud. If that means requesting a seat on Mayor Webb's Gay and Lesbian Advisory Committee, which I've done, I'll be there. If that means helping to raise funds for the Colorado Aids Project by working with the Carousel Ball Committee, which we hope to do next year, I'll be there, too. I'll be wherever we need to be to let the GLB community know that the transgendered are ready and willing to help. The GLB community will fight for us as long as we're willing to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them.

The following is adapted from the poem written about Nazism by the Rev. Martin Niemoller:

It's time, G.I.C. , I'll be there, will you?

As Always, Susan


Be Out... Don't Perpetuate the Silence

What do we get for being "safe?" And are there any costs for acting this way?

This is an opportune moment during National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11) to sit back and ask ourselves as we live our lives, make choices, and live with their consequences.

Because of our unique transgendered struggle, hiding from ourselves, our families, the world, becomes a much-needed safety mechanism. It can provide desperately needed psychic space and freedom from the pain of not being able to be ourselves. But at what cost?

"The trouble with hiding successfully is that no one knows that you are there," Amanda writes. "It can protect you from being harmed, but it can also make you a target by isolating you from community....Nothing will change for the better until we face our fears and our demons. It's easy to take the position that I cannot make a difference, that I cannot change the world....If I don't attempt to make what connections I can, who will?"

What hiding does, she writes, is it blunts our abilities to stand up and speak out for ourselves and others. She didn't speak up or out at political functions to what end: "I played it safe' through fear of standing out. Guess what? I stood out anyway, and lost an opportunity ."

Why should she, or any of us for that matter, take that first step to let someone know we're transgendered? We all can think of ten reasons why anyone of us should hold back. But is there anything to be gained from being out, other than a lot of derision?

"To be honest, my actions are foremost for my benefit. Because I'm tired of being stared at, laughed at, scowled at, misunderstood. Because I want to walk proudly through my life."

As I'm learning through my own path in this life, I can let fear rule me, or I can let fear give me the energy to bring positive change into my life and push me beyond that fear.

I used to be afraid of heights, and when I went to a Colorado Outward Bound exercise, I decided to "push the envelope" and not let the imposing 90-foot rock face scare me. I got into the harness, made dang sure that the ropes attached to me were also well attached to the rock the size of a Volkswagen Beetle and a large tree before I leaned backward into the harness over the edge. The people below seemed to slosh in my vision and my stomach flip-flopped. And then the voices in my head began: "Just what the hell am are you doing here? This is really stupid. I'm scared, I quit." But I didn't quit. I suddenly remembered a conversation I'd had with a friend a long time ago. She asked me, "Carolee, how do you know you're ready for change?" And I replied, "Oh, I just throw myself off a cliff and run like hell to catch myself at the bottom." Hello. Isn't that just what I was doing? I held the rope that would let me repel off the edge. I controlled exactly how fast I would go down. And I went repelling slowly, so I could enjoy the trip down: the aspen turning yellow, the August sun shining through billowy clouds, crows riding along with the wind. Then I got to the bottom and did something not even I expected I would do.

The leaders of Outward Bound had challenged some to try climbing blindfolded. And I decided I would try it! Again, I had my belayer with me to keep me from falling and my surprised team calling out where I could find handholds and footholds. No I didn't scamper up. It had rained earlier and this cliff was slippery. I lost my footing several times before I finally found my way. Blindfolded, I concentrated on feeling out the square foot or so directly in front of me. It felt like I had a relationship with the rockface, it wasn't something "to be conquered" but something to work with. I climbed carefully to the top--oh my god, I'm at the top! I did it! I ripped off my blindfold in exultation, to the cheers of my team mates below and repelled down feeling totally charged with energy, but also filled with peace.

I was mobbed by my team when I got to the bottom. One of them reminded me that at the beginning of the weekend I had been petrified of climbing up a 12-foot plywood wall and I had just climbed about 90 feet. Yeeha!

So, am I totally out? Not by any means. Some people know, some do not. I'm still feeling my way along this social rockface for handholds. Sometimes I'm totally brazen, like dancing with my girlfriend in a straight club at Virginia Beach this summer. Other times, I'm quite shy. I let the circumstances determine what I say, to whom, and how much.

My rock-climbing experience not only empowered me to lose my fear of heights, it made me unwilling to give people power over me any more. I value integrity above all other values, and I also want to live my truth by being who I am. I stand with Amanda. I too will not perpetuate the silence.


The Doctor is In...

by Rachael St.Claire, PsyD

Reflections on the 15th Symposium of the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA)

The 15th biennial symposium of the HBIGDA was hosted by the Gender Identity Program at Vancouver General Hospital in Vancouver, British Columbia, on Sept. 10-14, 1997.

The HBIGDA is an international organization of health care providers, including psychotherapists, surgeons, and physicians, who provide health care to transgendered persons, especially transsexual men and women. This professional association is named after Harry Benjamin MD, an endocrinologist who pioneered and advocated for the health care of transsexual persons. HBIGDA is best known for its Standards of Care (SOC), a document which establishes minimal clinical guidelines for the provision of cross sex hormones and genital surgery for transsexual men and women.

Over 200 participants from several countries, including Canada, the United Kingdom, Italy, Germany, United States, Belgium, and China, met to present the latest developments in the field of transgender studies and case management. Several transsexual professionals presented papers, including Sheila Kirk, M.D., Anna Lawrence, M.D., Becky Allison, M.D., and Marsha Botzer (founder of the Ingersall Center in Seattle). Many genital surgeons attended, including Stanley Biber, Toby Meltzer, J. Hage, Donald Laub, Eugene Schrang, Stan Monstrey, and Refaat Karim. Randi Ettner, a psychologist who wrote Gender Defenders, also attended.

The highlights of the 15th Symposium included: 1) the initial reports of long- term follow up studies of post-operative transsexual persons; 2) the debate over the medicalization of transgender identity; 3) the controversy over the proposed revisions in the Standards of Care, 4) the creation of The International Journal of Transgenderism.

Long-term followup studies of relatively large post-operative transsexual men and women are becoming available. The main question being asked is whether or not the quality of life is improved by persons who make a full-time gender transition, including hormonally induced changes in secondary sex characteristics and genital surgery.

The preliminary results from several studies at different sites consistently show two factors related to improvement in the quality of life: 1) satisfaction with physical appearance, including genital surgery, and 2) preservation of important social relationships.

These results suggest that quality of life will improve with transition and surgery if we are satisfied by the physical trans- formation of our bodies, and can accept the limitations which our biological sex places upon the transformation of our appearance. However, transition and surgery will not magically heal self-loathing. We have the responsibility to do the inner work of self-acceptance. Many of us go through shame and self-hatred because our bodies and physical appearance do not closely enough conform to the bodies of the sex we identify with. Society's stigmatization of transgendered people (transphobia) intensifies the painful disparity between our wished-for body and our real body.

This transphobia is internalized by us and expressed in the need to pass as women or men in society. Our painful longing to be the other sex is eased when we can pass unnoticed into the world. However, we all must face the reality that we are transgendered, that we were born with anatomical bodies that are contrary to our gender identity. If we are to live full and satisfying quality lives, we need to become satisfied with our bodies, and I dare to be so bold as to say that we need to have pride in being transgendered people with transgendered bodies.

The quality of our lives after transition is also highly determined by the quality of our social relationships. Our satisfaction with our lives is increased by meaningful relationships with our lovers, our children, family members, co-workers, neighbors, and community. We often forget to reach out to our transgendered brothers and sisters who already understand and accept us as we are. Our future quality of life depends on working hard to preserve our relationships despite others' initial difficulty in understanding and accepting us.

HBIGDA members discussed the medicalization of transgendered people. On one side are those who view us as living differently gendered lives that should not be labeled a "disorder". Others consider transgendered people to have gender identities that violate normal principles of gender identity development. However, a consensus of HBIGDA members believe that if Gender Identity Disorder (GID) were removed from the DSM-IV, health care companies and national health care policies would then be justified in denying necessary treatment. Remember that in Canada, Germany, Italy, and the UK, therapy, hormones, and genital surgery are paid for by the government because HBIGDA members have successfully convinced these governments that GID is a disorder that requires medical treatment.

HBIGDA is now publishing a professional journal, The International Journal of Transgenderism, that can be found on the Internet at http://www.symposion.com/ijt

Dr. St.Claire will be leading a discussion of the revisions on Sunday, Nov. 16 from noon until 2:00 pm at the GIC. All are welcome to participate. Donations to the GIC are encouraged.


Communi-T News

Meeting with HRC Panel - Oct. 2,
Transgendered issues were the topics that dominated a panel discussion with representatives from Denver's Human Relations Office, the City Attorney's office. C.L.I.P., a representative of private business Human Relations and Kathy Reynolds, City Council woman.

All the members of the Denver Anti-Discrimination Office (DADO) were present, and discussed their procedures for determining their jurisdiction and resolution methods for discrimination complaints brought to their attention. The inclusion of transgendered as a definition of the present word "gender" in the ordinance was discussed at great length. It was clear that gender presently is understood to mean male or female. Tina Scardina, who chairs the Mayors Gay and Lesbian Advisory Committee, moderated the meeting, and specifically invited the G.I.C. and provided a prepared question for the panel's response.

Mayor Webb's Town Meeting - Oct. 6,
Mayor Wellington Webb called a town meeting with the Gay and Lesbian Community at the new Denver Public Library Conference Center to find out how Denver can more effectively meet the needs of the Gay and Lesbian citizens. The Mayor had all his appointees and representatives from all his departments present. Tina Scardina moderated the meeting which focussed on what it is to be Gay and Lesbian, and attempted to explode the myths and stereotypes about the community. Prepared sections focussed on GLBT and Questioning youth, Public Safety and Health, especially with respect to services for those with HIV infections and AIDS. Dianna C. spoke during the Q&A portion about the "Transgendered" needing to be included as well as the GL & B folks.

"Justice Now" Conference, Glenwood Springs, Oct. 17-19
Equality Colorado sponsored a dynamic gathering of GLBT and friends from organizations all over Colorado to a planning conference. Susan C., Wendi M., Teri C., and Robynne P. attended this important meeting and were warmly welcomed as representing the Transgendered. Equality has long wanted to see the TG part of the community involved. Networking was the game, and many important contacts were made with groups all over the state. Meetings focussed on the 1998 Legislative Calendar, becoming included in communities of faith, organizing in rural areas of the state and action planning and communication both in the metro area and statewide. In the Denver Metro area a network or congress of GLBT and Allied organizations to share plans, resources and to speak with one voice in political matters and for funding requests.


The Journal is the official publication of The Gender Identity Center of Colorado, Inc. , a non-profit education and support organization for transgendered people, families, friends and the community at large.

Editor: Carolee Laughton

To place an advertisement or obtain advertising information, call the editor at (303) 202-6466.

Articles from contributors must be printed double-spaced or submitted on a 3 1/2" disc in ASCII text format. Submissions are due on the 15th of the month preceding publication:

G.I.C. Journal
1455 Ammons Street, Suite 100
Lakewood, CO 80215-4993

GICofColo@aol.com

Opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect the policies of the G.I.C., its Officers, or the Journal.

Copyright (c) 1997, Gender Identity Center of Colorado, Inc.