The Bluegrass BelleView | |
Bluegrass Belles TG Support Group | Lexington, Ky. July 1997 |
Next Meeting: Saturday, July 19
by Dawn Wilson
Back By Popular Demand..
At July 's meeting, we shall enjoy the return of therapist Dr. Sue Strong and PFLAG. Dr. Strong has spoken with our group before, and has experience in dealing with the issues that confront transgendered people daily. This is a meeting designed to help you with any issues you may face, regardless of whether you identify yourself as being a crossdresser, transsexual, family member, or significant other of a transgendered person.
Summertime......Hot clothes, sticky faces and uncomfortable hair....Because of the heat July meeting will be more than a dressing up party. The meeting will be held at our new permanent meeting site at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, at the corner of Main Street and Bell Court, in Lexington, KY. To give our speakers all the time they need to deal with, we will be We always have had a policy of come as you are but this one is come as you want. but please use good taste. If you come dressed as the opposite gender chose light fabrics, sandals, and no hose. Walking shorts are fine. Now if you wish not to come in femme than dress as you would if you were at a company picnic with your family. Don't be tacky!!! What is not proper attire: Short shorts, tank tops , facial hair with wig and make up. Vulgar T-shirt. Grunge max. Cut-offs.
Directions to main site: from the north, take I-75 South to Exit 114; At the end of the exit turn right on to North Broadway. Take N. Broadway to Main, turn right onto Main, get into the far left lane, and this will take you east on Vine- follow Vine thru 6 lights, be in the far right lane, this lane will turn right on to East Main. You will pass a McDonald's, and two lights. After the second light there is a church on the left. Turn left. We will be meeting in the building behind the church, and there is plenty of parking. If you get lost, I live very close to Bell Court, and you can call me at 389-9304, and I will come and get you.
Also, I need volunteers to help with our Belle of the Ball.
Taking Care of Business
It is truly a rare person who wants to hear what he/she doesn't want to hear. This is true regardless of faith, race, gender, or age. This week end, I wanted to present a paper in Philadelphia addressing the needs of the transgendered community concerning jobs and opportunity.. The paper covered 3 major points : (1) Lack of leadership. (2) Lack of communication. (3) Failure to network. All of these are essential to the business world, so why not in ours?
I really hate it when other groups make unfounded accusations, while sitting on their collective rears doing nothing. I recently read that one group hosted a major figure in this community, only because they didn't do their homework, they had no one show up. It is a shame. Maybe if they had some real contacts, they would have succeeded. That why I am glad for people like the transssexuals in our group. Not only do they tell me things I don't want to hear, they also make suggestions and comments for the group.
You see, to be a community, there needs to be leadership, You need people like Anne, Becky, Terri , Marjorie, Alex, Mitzi, and all the others. These people are class acts, and if it were not for them , the GLBT community, and my parents, it would be a long way home! Well, I didn't get to go to Philly, because I stayed behind to check on my parents, and receive an award. It wasn't Philly, but, hey, it was worth it. No regrets.
Dawn Wilson
By Dianna
In 1994, Phyllis (Frye) and a few others, began working with HRC re: TG inclusion into Federal Jobs protection legislation.
In 1995, the HRC-backed ENDA was introduced into Congresional committee. Shortly after, thanks to Karen Karin's work, Sen Jeffords (R-Vt) added an amendment to ENDA to protect transgendered people. The bill died in committee when not enough people had signed on to move it ahead before theend of the legislative session.
In 1996 ENDA was reintroduced, as it stood at the end of the 1995 session with TG protective language. Shortly after its introduction, HRC successfully lobbied to have the transgendered language removed, because HRC feared that this language would result in a loss of votes on the bill. The TG community wails and gnashes its teeth, with small pockets of TG activism working to block HRC fund-raising efforts in retribution.
HRC responds by condescending promises of "future help" for TG-specific legislation. Everyone is lulled by HRC's insistance that ENDA is going nowhere anyway. Suddenly Congress passes DOMA to appease the Religious Right, and its billion dollar effort to take over the government. An "apology" is given to the gay community when, in a nice show of [something], Congress suddenly brings ENDA to the Senate floor for a carefully orchestrated vote --ENDA fails 49-50 when one of the most gay-supportive Senators in Congress, Ben Nighthorse-Campbell (R-Colo) "inexplicably" votes "No" as the final vote cast. (Editor's note: ....and Sen Mitch McConnell, R-Ky. abstained, citing a "lack of information") Only a few people who truly understand politics and how the legislative process and "deal making" works can really see what has .happened
In 1997, ENDA is being prepared for re-introduction. Phyllis and 20 other TGs go to Washington to lobby for TG inclusion. A couple of months later, GenderPAC goes to DC and after being successfully seduced by HRC propaganda, capitulates, abandons ENDA, and signs on to Hate Crimes legislation instead. HRC continues to talk about TG inclusion at dinners, etc. whenever it is politically good for them to do so, but ignores the contributions of TGs as it sends out important press releases. HRC continues to tell Congress and all who will listen that TGs are a political liability, but seduces most of the TG leadership by blowing in their collective ear that "next year" they will suddenly reverse position and work to convince Congress that TGs are good people after all - assets to the community everywhere -- who after all DO deserve legislative protection.
Sometimes it is politically correct to sell out -- to take a short term loss for a long term gain. It takes guts to do this. I offer a gut-wrenching challenge to the TG community: It is bad enough that most of the girls in this community are trying so hard to be "Nice" girls, to be soft and femme and therefore incapable of fighting for what they want. Come on girls -- you are not going to "pass" when you are doing politics anyway. It pains me to know that dressing now is somehow more important than fighting for legislative protections to be able to dress in the future.....But it is worse that the boyz have wussed out on this. I know that many of the men in this community are tough physically, but where is the fight when it comes to ideas and politics? Real men don't get seduced by promises of future "something". Real men make sure there is something tangible in hand before they give away the farm. Real men don't get raped, and would bloody themselves severly rather than allow their girl friends to get raped.
WE DO NOT NEED HRCs APPROVAL to get Federal jobs protection. WE DO NOT NEED HRC to include us.
WE NEED Federal jobs/employment protection. GenderPAC should be working for ENDA inclusion, not HRC inclusion. All the other TG organizations and individuals should be working for ENDA inclusion -- to hell with getting the HRC to include us!
No Guts -- No Glory!
Dianna
Reprinted by permission,
last name withheld by author's request.
Our Time in Eden
Newsletter Publishing 101
The job of putting this thing we call the BelleView together each month takes a few twists and turns. I do this for you. As one of the more active, out members, I obviously want to share my fun and rewarding experiences, since I'd like more of you to join me, and want those who couldn't be there to know what they missed. I want to bring you some local news of interest to our community. I want to provide an information source for group meeting and outing dates and times. My interest in computers and graphics needs exercise and stretching, and I've learned a lot about how to make WordPerfect Suite 7 do stupid pet tricks in the process of putting this together, as well as our group web page. I've played with the formatting over the last few months, and have finally hit upon a format that I like, but I make adjustments to try to vary things, plus unforseen problems cause changes. For instance, my write-back cache and RAM went down, so I'm doing this one on my laptop, and it doesn't have the photos loaded in it, nor does it have the graphic capabilities of my main system. The authors' photos will return in August, hopefully. Oh, well....Anyway, the preset format makes life easier; I just fly in the columns, and fix the lengths with the photos, but not this month....
Great Writers...Like You
Another major interest of mine is bringing to you some excellent writing that others in the transgendered community, perhaps people you might not have heard of, are doing for their own groups. You may not be aware of this, but we exchange this newsletter with other groups, and I find that some of the newsletters have fine writers making contributions. I'd rate ours, being modest and knowing that I have much to learn, about a B, up from a C- when I first started this. Will we make an A? Who puts out an A newsletter? In my opinion, Renaissance, Tennessee Vals, CrossPort, and Crystal Club are examples, and there are others as well. Can we do that well? Maybe someday soon. How can you help? In a word, write!
We aren't a large group yet, but we're growing steadily, and I'm happy with the fact that we seem to gain at least one or two new regular members each month. We have been noticed in the greater transgendered community, or at least I've been told as much when I've traveled to lobbying days and conventions. Despite our modest size and experience level, we've had some interesting literary contributions by group members. Dawn's monthly contributions have earned her both compliments and physical threats; either way, she makes you take notice, and that's what it's all about. Marjorie has shown skill and literacy in her attempts to bring us up to date on events in the Lexington area, and I hope she continues to keep us posted on news from the Royal Sovereign Imperial Court of All Kentucky, among other subjects. I've heard rumors that Jamie still exists, and has fallen victim to managemental overwork syndrome, but I for one haven't given up hope that she might find the time someday to exercise her Macintosh again. My friend Amy dealt with the SO side of life, and is intending to write again for us when she has material that meets her high standards. Then, I get long winded about boring road trips, political blather, and beverages whose recipes comply with the German law known as "der Rheinheitsgebot"
So where is this heading? Straight to your typewriter, pen and paper, or PC, hopefully. You have something to say. You have an ego. You always wanted to be published, to have a real-live column in a real-live magazine. Maybe you wanted to be the transgendered version of Billy Reed, Rick Bozich, Bernie Lincicome, P.J. O'Rourke, or even William Greider. Here's your chance: You write it, and I'll publish it. The mechanics work this way: if you have a PC, get on it, write your article, save it to ASCII, MS Word, WordPerfect, or AmiPro format on a floppy, and hand it to me at the monthly meeting; or type it on Notepad in Windows, attach it to an e-mail, and send the whole works to acasbeer@jcc-uky.campus.mci.net. If you aren't a compugeek, don't fear - give me a hardcopy, typed or handwritten, and hand it to me at the meeting. Don't worry about spelling, grammar, and punctuation being perfect - I come from the school of thought of editing which states that the feeling of what you write is more important than perfect form. I also use WordPerfect, which corrects most mistakes automatically. You won't be disappointed with the results. C'mon, you need an ego trip today, and your friends really want to read what you have to write. No kidding!
We Have Ways Of Making You Think...
I like publishing articles by others in
the gender community. Sarah Fox writes some wonderful articles
for Crystal Club, ones I've republished for your benefit, and,
I'll admit, she's published mine a couple times now. I admit to
having a raving ego at times, and I still can't believe that
other people find my writing of interest. You will likely see
other contributions, both serious and funny, by Jennileigh Love
of the Tennessee Vals, and probably others from Tennessee Orange
Country. I write a column for them each month, too, and I don't
give them the same articles I publish here, so I might backtrack
to some of those sometimes. TG Forum, a weekly Internet magazine,
always has articles of interest to TG people. I published
something in this issue, however, that undoubtedly moved me far
beyond anything I've read recently. It's very sad,
thought-provoking, and yet gives me the true feeling of why we
exist: for support. I'm talking about Vanessa Edwards' eulogy to
her friend Carolyn Patek. I read an edited version of this in
GCTC's newsletter, and Emailed a compliment to Vanessa about it;
she told me that it had been heavily edited, and sent me the full
text. I won't comment on why it was edited the way it was, any
more than other people can figure out why I do the irrational
things I do. That stated, if this article doesn't make you think,
make you a bit mad, and make you flat cry off your mascara, then
you just aren't the feeling human beings I thought most of you
were. I've read it numerous times now, and I shed tears every
time I read it.
Goin' South
Most of you know that I'm also a Tennessee Val, and many of you have accompanied me there before. They are heavily involved in Pride activities in Nashville, and I participated recently in a number of Pride events with them. In May, Terri, Dianne, and I attended their Pride Ball, which was a lot of fun. In June, I spent a long weekend in Nashville. Thursday, June 10th, I had my hair done by Kim at "Raindogs" salon, then drove to Nashville, where that night, the Vals put on a "transgendered mixer" at "The Chute", at which Terry Murphy, the organizer of the Southern Comfort Conference, spoke. Terry is a compelling speaker, and her talk spilled over from the subject of Southern Comfort into gender and sexual preference issues, and raised some interesting questions in my mind about what constitutes "hetero" and "gay" in a transgendered person. This group devolved down to Terry, Marisa, Jennileigh, and myself as the night passed by. The end of the night found me on stage on karaoke night, singing Boston's "Amanda", while wearing my new red and white dress. What was I thinking? Or drinking? (12-year old Scotch). Since Terry and Marisa still spoke to me afterwards, and Jennileigh still let me crash at her place, I guess I didn't offend anyone with my attempt to hit high notes I had no business attempting, but I'd told everyone I could sing, so it was putup/shutup time. Friday, we relaxed, I wrote my account of the Be-All, and then we went out for dinner at a nice restaurant near Vanderbilt University called "World's End". The Connection was the obvious destination after that, and another late night....Saturday, a number of Vals, plus some last minute help from some friends, carried the "Drag-On", a large, brightly-colored fabric and papier-mache dragon that requires 10-12 people to carry, in the Pride Parade. I held up the rear, being a tall person with decent upper-body strength, and didn't see the crowd very much. I do find it interesting that the rain held off until about 15 minutes after the parade ended. We were treated to interesting performances by Iona Trailer, and Bianca Paige, and some musical performances. Jenni and I left shortly after this, and rested/primped a bit prior to the Vals meeting, after which we had dinner at Mozzarella's with a large number of Vals. I returned to Louisville Sunday afternoon, rested and refreshed, feeling great about spending a weekend with some really good friends.
Workin' For A Livin'
While I was attending the Be-All, and Pride activities in Nashville, I was getting ripped off by some of my employees. I fired 3 people and have had a devil of a time replacing them, which may make me a transperson in need of time to crossdress. The employees in question will probably find other jobs soon enough, given our 2% unemployment rate, but they will undoubtedly run afoul of the rules elsewhere, and will probably go from one minimum-wage job to the next without achieving any upward mobility.
This has a lesson for the unemployed/underemployed transperson. You will be judged more closely than others in the workplace if you are transitioning, so if you intend to move up, you have to be better. You must be more skillful, more efficient, more versatile, more available, more willing to work odd shifts and hours, more reliable, and take charge of tasks and situations. Take initiative and charge of your job and you may move up, certainly you will be more secure. For certain, always be honest and don't do anything to bring attention to yourself negatively, and obey all company rules at all times. Remember, you may very well be the first transperson your boss knows or has seen, other than on Sally Jessie Raphael, so you have an obligation to pave the ground for those who follow. More and more people are coming out and transitioning each day, and we will become a common sight in the workplace someday, but it will take some time until that happens. Until then, we must be like the Irish and Italian immigrants of the early 20th century, African-Americans in the '60's, and Hispanics in the '80's, and be better than everyone else just to get an even shot. We can't afford to be slackers!
Party Girl?
"Well, you ain't nothing but a party girl
Just like a million more all over the world"
Elvis Costello, "Party Girl"
Guess what? I recently learned that, according to a transperson from my own hometown that I have never met, I am a party girl, nothing but a party girl, and that most of the members of the support groups I also belong to in Tennessee and Ohio consist of nothing but party girls, too. Isn't that nice? I thought that I'd better find out what a party girl is and does, since I have been found guilty of being a party girl in somebody's court of law simply by belonging to the Bluegrass Belles. Well, I presumed that I am guilty of the charges, but I didn't know exactly what a party girl is and does. So, I checked with the expert on party girls, whom I'll just call the Great Conceiler, and this is what she told me:
Party girls drive all night to Washington, DC, after working a 12-hour day, dine in nice restaurants, drink stout in bars, and pose for pictures in front of the Washington Monument - after spending 2 days visiting the offices of Congressmen and Senators urging the expanded reporting of hate crimes, and the passage of ENDA. Party girls, by the way, can do this twice in a 3-month period.
Party girls go out to dinner, openly, publicly, with their best girlfriends - after they have written letters to the Board of Aldermen, urging passage of the Fairness Amendment in Louisville.
Party girls work all day, then attend town meetings, in which they can talk to their local Member of Congress and their staff, to reinforce the talking points they emphasized in their recent visits to DC, as well as making suggestions for reform of Medicare and Medicaid, programs that are in serious need of serious overhaul and reexamination. They go back to work after that, and work a few more hours, then do their month-ending paperwork.
Party girls go to conventions, learn to model, do a lot of shopping - and take the time to educate and inform those who make note of their transgendered status while out in public about what and why and how we do what we do. We show them that we are real people, out in public, proud of who and what we are, and, above all, "normal people", whatever that means. Then they come back to the group, and share what they've learned. Not to mention the kewl pictures.
Party girls work for a living. Very long hours, weekends, constantly on call, to the point of declining video memberships by roaming cellular phone while in support group meetings. Their boss and employees know what they do in their limited spare time, and while they don't necessarily understand, they don't criticize.
Party girls are kind of like Valley Girls; they like to shop. Oh boy, do they ever. They go shopping, alright - and take the other girls along with them that aren't quite as experienced, and show them how to shop for lingerie, for dresses, how to consignment shop, how to shop for makeup and those all-important accessories that make/break passage and a great look. They even pick up gifts along the way for their parents, their friends, their SO's, and even charity. They share the names of great places to get bargains, and places where they were treated to especially good service, so the business can prosper and other party girls can share in the goodies.
Party girls like to sing karaoke, maybe dance (other party girls, not necessarily this one), attend concerts and clubs that feature live music, and watch drag shows - after attending to the support needs of others in their support groups, taking time to gather information on events on interest to their fellow group members, and listening and learning from interesting speakers in the transgendered community.
Party girls maintain web sites, where those who are interested in transpeople can learn more about us, as well as letting those who aren't out yet and want to be know how to find out and get out in the world-safely. They answer every piece of Email that downloads into their Netscape Mail, and snailmail replies to all handwritten letters. They maintain a list of websites and linkages that they can give others needing information on more specialized transgendered issues and resources. They know where people can obtain medical and therapeutic resources and disseminate that info on request. They develop and communicate with transpeople from other states and areas, because when you are on the web, you might get inquiries from anywhere. They steer transgendered websurfers to support groups in Southern California, Iowa, Idaho, Toronto, Columbus, OH., Nashville, Indianapolis, Chicago, Michigan, and Florida. They then followed up to see if they made it, or at least look into it-and most have. They like meeting people from other groups around the country at events like the Be-All; probably over a beer or 2, and then try to keep in touch with them (Sorry if I haven't, but I will, I promise....).
Party girls spend about 6-8 hours monthly putting together a group newsletter and publishing it to the Web and on paper. Why, they might even drink a Guinness while they're doing that, and it's possible that they might be listening to Stravinsky, Frank Zappa, or Electric Light Orchestra while they're doing that. I plea guilty to doing everything I do to a soundtrack, I confess..
Party girls might walk in Pride Parades. They might attend Royal Sovereign Imperial Court Meetings. They might belong to Ebony Male. They might belong to the NAACP. They might participate in GenderPAC, or ICTLEP Lobbying Days, or start ITA chapters. They might belong to AEGIS, or IFGE. They might participate in walks and runs for charity, or contribute clothes they don't use to the homeless, or help those who live in disadvantaged areas and circumstances find jobs and places to live. They might work to feed the hungry. on holidays. They might give blood. Of course they do these kinds of things, mostly because it makes the beer and pizza taste better after you do. That's the only reason why a party girl would ever do anything like that, right?
Lastly, party girls deal with difficult family matters. At least 2 Bluegrass Belles have parents who are chronically ill with various conditions, including senile dementia, and handle their affairs the best way they know how. We deal with the insane regulations that the Medicaid and Medicare people put in our way. In my case, I make sure my mother is able to travel to the Masonic Home to visit my father daily, even though she has never forgiven me for taking away her car keys. I drop even gender matters and work to deal with their medical and legal problems, because I know who brought me into this world, for better or worse. They know of my transgenderism, and bless 'em, they're trying to understand. Despite that, I won't go further down the gender pathway until their passage, out of respect for them. They need their son right now, and I respect that. Others of us have SO's and possibly kids, and we care for them, which is one area where being transgendered is an advantage, because we aren't afraid to show a nurturing side to our personalities, and those who really care about us have grown to appreciate that.
Well, the Great Conceiler has spoken, and really opened my eyes to reality. Yes, folks, I'm a party girl. So is Dawn. Marjorie is, too. Terri resembles that remark. Dianne pleads guilty. Corey would qualify. Erika probably is one. So are Robin, Becky, and Mitzi. There are party guys, too, just ask Taylor. Just about all of the Belles are party people. Everybody I know in the transgendered world works hard to make their lives better, to improve the lot of society and change that which needs changing, and to help their friends who are in need of help; after that, it's time to unwind and have a few good times. That is therapy, too, and we all need it.
Transgenderism is not the Bataan Death March; I've had more fun and met more interesting people in the last few months, than I had the chance to meet in 36 years. You meet nobody in a closet, and if you want to replace a small clothes closet with a slightly larger one, without adding the interaction between people and the chance to be yourself, then what are you really doing? So, let's have a brew, or juice, or diet soda sometime, maybe (God help our waistlines!) ice cream, preferably someplace where great music plays, after we've done the work, and be party girls. Being a party girl has nothing to do with being snockered in bars while wearing dresses. It has everything to do with being a transgendered person, proud of it, working to be a better person and make life better for each of us - while having a good time and making friends doing it. I wouldn't want to be anything else.
"Seek that, which within, lies waiting to begin
The fight of your life that is everyday"
Ian Anderson, "The Third Hoorah"
Freedom and Mascara!
Anne Casebeer
11-26-60 - 05-14-97
by Vanessa Edwards
Carolyn officially joined GCTC as a member in August, 1993 and later went on to also become a member, and former president, of the TATS group. Her rosary service was attended by a number of current and former GCTC and TATS members. In December of last year Carolyn returned after having Sexual Reassignment Surgery in Montreal. She looked forward to her surgery, and was equally enthusiastic about getting back to work and getting on with life as a 'new' woman. Employment had proved elusive after her SRS recovery, as she went nearly five months with no success. She was pleased to finally land her first post-recovery job on May 2: Unfortunately, it only lasted less than a week. On Thursday, May 8, she fainted while at work and was treated by paramedics at the scene; but she refused hospitalization and was allowed to return home. On Friday, after realizing she was too weak to work, she paid an initial visit to her physician. Less than a week later she was gone.
It is bitterly ironic that Carolyn worked so long, and paid such an expense to achieve a goal she'd so strongly desired--only to have that life end so soon afterwards. Even though she'd had a number of years experience in installing and troubleshooting PC network systems and various software, she was disappointed by the fact that she was having virtually no luck in finding post-surgery employment. While she tended to keep personal problems to herself, she was frustrated at not being able to resume her usual social routines because of her lack of income. Equally maddening was the craving for companionship, or a mate, but she was confined to loneliness as result of her circumstances. It's similar to a child who saves for years to buy a motorcycle and once he buys it he cannot afford the fuel to test drive it; but before getting that chance to drive it, it's taken away. Carolyn never had the chance to fully realize her potential as a female; a brand new image fresh out of the chrysalis, never having the chance to spread her wings and fly.
The sudden nature of Carolyn's death has profoundly stunned me, as I'm sure it did her family and friends. Yet I can't ignore the thought of other tragic ingredients to this mix that likely would go unnoticed. The first thought is of all the plans made that will never be realized. As a result of being one of her closer friends over the past year, I personally know of a number of things we were to do together that will forever remain undone. I'm also acutely aware of the support provided over the last 6 months--spiritually and financially--that she so desperately wanted to repay to both her mother and her brother Gary. She was also taking her first tentative steps toward repairing some of the burned bridges after an unceremonious ouster as president of TATS last summer. Another item is her dreams and feelings that will always remain unspoken. Carolyn may have been outspoken, occasionally even brusque; however, she was a shy young girl inside. All she really ever wanted was acceptance. Knowing this, she likely never opened up fully to most of those who knew her. There were a number of folks, she'd confided to me, who she cared for, worried about, and admired. Yet the all too common fear of being misunderstood, rejection, ridicule or embarrassment sealed these thoughts within. The final ingredient that truly haunts me is her lack of seeking hospitalization in a situation that in hindsight required it. Except for the fact that she was financially drained and lacked insurance, she would have agreed to hospitalization...and likely saved her own life. Except for the fact that she was chronically unemployed after her surgery, thus low on funds; she would have been able to purchase hospitalization insurance, or had the insurance provided by her employer. But for the fact that she worried that some job prospects were 'reading' her as a transsexual because of her height, and the fact that employers are still legally entitled to have denied her employment based on perception--not work experience; she would have more timely been employed. With her skills and experience, and this current 'economic boom', there was should be no reason for her to remain unemployed for four months. This is particularly ironic for me considering the timing--coming on the heels of my return from the second attempt to lobby Congress regarding employment non-discrimination--and my personal situation which mirrors the same employment problems she'd also suffered.
In one conversation with Carolyn about a month ago, she lamented her extended period of unemployment and questioned her decision to complete the SRS. She'd agonized that by accomplishing her dream--becoming the gender she'd always felt she was--she'd doomed herself to a nightmare of financial ruin. Sadly, that's the unfortunate case for many a pre-op and post-op TS; a two-edged sword of winning the prized goal, but losing more than what was gained. It is particularly galling that if one is true to oneself, then they must be punished for not repressing it. Why should transgenders--or any other alternate lifestyle that does no harm to others--be ghettoized or marginalized into illegitimate or 'fringe' professions not pertinent to their professional experience? Why impoverish a viable member of the community, and waste their talents or contributions because of an innocuous change of gender, image or appearance? Carolyn was a generous and very principled lady with a dry, caustic wit; fiercely loyal to her friends, and always willing to help. She had a penchant for computers, and was skillfully quite adept. She also loved her stuffed animal collection; and her family had noted this, thoughtfully seating her favorite--Wile E. Coyote--on a chair next to her as her body lay in state. It thoroughly upsets me that she felt guilt after pursuing her most cherished goal. For the want of a job...a life was lost. All Carolyn ever wanted to be was Carolyn. As I type this I can't forget my last memory of her lying there peacefully with her Wile E. holding vigil, staring out at the mourners. I also can't help but wonder if, other than her family and friends, society really doesn't care. .It should.
Vanessa Edwards
Postscript: Vanessa sent word to me shortly before this went to print that Carolyn passed from a lung embolism-a blood clot. Nobody is certain how that occured, or whether it had anything to do with her being a postsurgical TS. Our sympathy goes out to Carolyn's family, friends, and support groups, who we know miss her badly. I never met her, and I miss her, too.
Anne.
By Anne Casebeer
The Bluegrass Belles are now on Ky. 3rd District Congressman Anne M. Northup's mailing list. Going to her office is Washington twice might have had that effect. Her most recent mailing has the office addresses, phone numbers, and times that she is available. The Congressman is having a town meeting at Louisville Southern High School, Monday, July 7th, at 7PM. I've attended her town meetings before, and they are probably the most interesting and accessible political events you could attend. You can literally bring up any topic of interest to the community, and she will have to listen to you. In addition, she has caseworkers and legislative assistants with her to listen to issues.
Congressman Northup is on the Appropriations Committee, which controls spending, so her emphasis is on fiscal issues, on which she definitely falls on the conservative side. Her major issues of interest are crime, Medicare / Medicaid, balanced budget, and education reform. So far, she has not tipped her hand on social issues. ENDA has been reintroduced; it would be to our advantage to encourage her to vote to pass it, despite our exclusion. The way I will state it is this: as a conservative, why not remove any impediment to talented workers being able to hold productive employment in the private sector? In any case, this is your chance to talk to our Congressman about any issue that concerns you.
I will be attending this town meeting in male mode; if you are interested in coming, contact me. If you can't, her local office addresses and times are:
Beechmont Community Center, 205 W. Wellington Ave, First Tue/month, 11AM - 1PM
Shively City Hall, 3920 Dixie Hwy.,
First Mon/month, 11AM - 1PM.
Southwest Govt. Center, 7219 Dixie Hwy., First Wed/month, 11AM - 1PM.
Main Office: 600 Dr. Martin Luther King Pl., Ron Mazzoli Fed. Bldg., Suite 216
Louisville, KY. 40202, 502-582-5129, fax 502-582-5897
Don't miss this chance to talk to YOUR representative in our government. She works for us!
Postscript: Amy McCorkle and I attended the meeting, and it was a pretty ugly affair: Congressman Northup was assailed over her "seeming lack of concern" for putting an end to the Briarcliff project in the Okolona area.Later,Amy asked openly why the Congressman was opposed to funding for the National Endowment for The Arts.The Congressman's answer showed her clear lack of support for Arts funding. I asked her privately, after the public session had ended, if she had decided her stance on ENDA, and allowed that I had been to her office twice previously, and we talked briefly about it. She feels that ENDA is fatally flawed legislation, exclusive of too many groups such as transgendered people, and a nightmare for business people. In respect to her, she's probably right.that it is flawed legislation. At least, she's honest about how she felt; she looked me in the eye, and told me straight out. Back to work, ladies.
Anne Casebeer
By Anne Casebeer
So, here I am, standing on my driveway, surrounded by a vast array of luggage and various items, trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to cram all of this into the trunk of a Taurus. This is my biggest memory of going to the Be-All....the fact that the biggest problems I faced were (A) How to cram all this stuff in the car, and (B) having my employees rip me off blind in my absence.
I succeeded at A, and my employees succeeded at B, but that's a story for the Commonwealths' Attorneys' office. Since this is intended for reading by the terminally transgendered, I'll stick to matters pertaining to befriending other gender folks, meeting people I'd heretofore only Emailed or read, shopping and taking feminine protection product surveys in the fine Chicago malls, drinking ales and stouts, modeling clothes on stage, doing my imitation on stage of a trannie redneck, taking dancing lessons from Chicago lesbians, and makeup lessons from beauticians on casino boats who've gone past their limit. I already was quite aware that out in public is where the fun is, but this iced it - I stayed fearlessly, relentlessly public for the entire time, and I'll never do it any other way again. I've been working on my femme presentation, trying to pass better despite my size, and it's now paying off. Fooling 'em some of the time is OK with me....
Tush
After cramming the load in the car, I femmed out, wearing a casual top, black jeans, my dark brown pageboy wig, and conservative (for me) daytime makeup, then threw the makeup case in the back seat and got rolling. I stopped twice along the way at convenience stores, prudently in metro areas, and had no problems. In a Meijer's store in Lafayette, I asked the clerk where the restroom was, and he replied, "The ladies' room is back there, ma'am". "Thank you, sir", I replied, and I wonder if the college-age guy knew why the 30-something woman who's butt he was admiring was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. Fooled you, kid, I know that look, I've resembled that remark before, I could see you in the corner security mirror!
I checked into the Hyatt Lisle, got the luggage moved into the room, after running into and surprising 3 members of Cross-Port with my casual femme presentation. My plan was in place: no guy clothes, no wigs, my own hair, out everywhere, meet as many people as I could in the gender community, do everything I could do activity and seminar-wise, look my best at all times, and have maximum fun. I showered, unpacked, and worked on my very own mane of curly medium-brown hair. The effort was restful, leisurely (I arrived at 2PM, and dinner was at 6PM) and mostly successful. I opted for a casual look for the first meal, a summer-weight print dress and flats. The pizza was OK but not quite up to Giordano's or Gino's standards; more important was the chance to meet the members of Chi-Chapter, who organized the event. Amanda was organizing the Friday Night Gong Show, and I'd sent Email to her regarding my version of Charlie Daniels' Uneasy Rider. She had been frantically sending me Email, and I don't know why I didn't get it, but we made contact in any case. I was ready to do it, having rehearsed all the way from Columbus to Renssalaer. I then proceeded to Oakbrook, where Filene's Basement awaited me. I needed new underthings due to recent weight loss, and they are the best place to stock up - name-brand lingerie and clothing for Wal-Mart level prices. I had a nice chat with the lady in charge of the jewelry department, who claimed to not read me until I produced my charge card. She encouraged me to pass the word at the convention about their store and sale, and also let me know that it was "Field Days" at Marshall Field's that week, with big savings possible. She didn't have to tell me twice Upon returning, most of the convention had gathered in the atrium bar, where I met the Crossroads' contingent, among others, and met up with their newsletter editor, Jayne Nicole. We talked gender and other matters late into the night; we'd previously exchanged Email, and I found her very funny and interesting.
The Lady in Red
The next morning, I woke early, dressed in red suit and blouse, and went to a 2-part class on modeling, given by Eve Burchert. Eve taught us the basics of standing, sitting, walking, turning, and other matters so important to projecting a proper, ladylike image. After lunch, I enjoyed a class on femme voice, given by Amanda of Chi-Chapter; I have a femme voice I can use in public places, although it lets me down at drive-thru windows, bars, and other loud places, and it was nice to see that others thought it passable. I went to Yorktown Mall after that, and was walking from Carson Pirie Scott to Von Maur's when I was approached by a lady, yelling "Ma'am, Ma'am, would you mind taking a few minutes to take a survey?" I agreed, and she warned that "it was quite personal". It turns out that it pertained to feminine protection products, and when told that I was a crossdresser, the surveyer was absolutely shocked. Now, I'd just come from modeling class, but still, I guess I must pass pretty well. I made a number of public shopping excursions this week, and nobody raised an eyebrow, from malls to discount stores to groceries to banks to drugstores. Dinner was enjoyed on board ship while cruising Lake Michigan, and I enjoyed seeing the city from the water after dark. Jayne Nicole and Olivia (I didn't catch where she hailed from) made pleasant conversation. We then proceeded to the Baton Club, which was reputed to have the nation's best drag show. I found the show to be good, but not that much better than the shows at either the Louisville or Nashville Connections. It certainly was very expensive, at $10 for admission, plus a 2-drink minimum (at $5.50 for a Heineken!). On the bus ride back, I ran into fellow Belle Robin, who I didn't realize was going to make the Be-All, and whom I'd had little chance to get to know previously. I was very happy to have a chance to get to know her better. Marjorie, my roomie, arrived on the scene just after I made it back to the room, having arrived in town in the early evening. Supposedly, she hit the town with Linda Buten and Jennifer Marquette of Cross-Port, but since Chicago still exists to this day, I don't believe that's true.
This Year's Model
Friday morning, I was up early, having an 8AM appointment to have my hair done and eyebrows plucked by Velma of Rachel's Wigs and Such, one of the vendors present. I'd never learned how to properly do my hair, and she was very happy to show me exactly how to do it for myself with a minimum of fuss and hairspray. It looked wonderful, and I was able to replicate it for myself reasonably well afterward. I'm still looking for a copy of the movie Where's Poppa?, starring George Segal, for Velma, and I hope my sources turn one up for her. I was prepared for the modeling session to follow, and we pulled it off well. My partner was Helga, a real fine lady from Zurich, Switzerland, who really blossomed as the week went by. I prepared for my Gong Show appearance that afternoon by rehearsing in the car, looking over the preparations underfoot in the dining room, primping, a little more shopping, and having a little wine and cheese at the GenderPAC reception, where I found to my regret, that Riki Anne Wilchins couldn't make it.
I can't say that I was the greatest judge of my "performance" that night, I know that I missed a couple lines; but people laughed, I got compliments on the "performance" and I didn't get gonged.
The Transgendered Uneasy Rider
I was taking a trip out to LA
Tooling along in my Chevrolet
Putting on mascara
and digging on the radio
Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
I heard that highway starting to whine
and I knew that left rear tire
was about to go
Well, the spare was flat
And I got uptight
Because there wasn;t a filling station in sight.
So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim.
I went as far as I could
And when I stopped the car
It was right in front of this little bar
A kind of a red neck looking joint called the Dew Drop Inn
Well I fixed my hair and put on my hat
and told the bartender thst I had a flat
and would he be kind enough
to give me change for a one?
There was one thing I was sure proud to see
Wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him and me
And he just looked disgusted
and pointed towards the telephone
I called up the station down the road a ways'and he said he wasn't very busy today
and he could have some body there
in about 10 minutes or so
He said
Now you just stay right where you're at, And I didnt bother to tell the derned fool
Thst I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go.
I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
when somebody comes in and said
Who owns this car
with the rainbow flags and lingerie on the floor?
He looked at me
and I damned near died
And I decided I better just wait outside
So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
Just when I thought I'd get out of there with my skin
These 5 big dudes come strolling in
With this one ol' drunk chick
and some fella with green teeth
And I was almost to the door when the biggest one
Said you sure as hell ain't no lady son
and he took my ol' hair
Right off a me
Now the last thing I wanted was to get in a fight
In Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night
'Specially when there was 3 of them
and only 1 of me
They all started laughing
and I felt kind of sick
and I knew I'd better think of something pretty quick
so I just reached out and kicked old Green Teeth right in the knee.
He let out a yell that would curl your hair
Before he could move , I grabbed me a chair'
and said Watch him folks
"Cause he's a thoroughly dangerous man
Well, you may not know it
but this man's a spy
He's an undercover agent for the FBI'
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the IFGE
He was still bent over holding on to his knee
But everyone else was looking and listening to me
And I laid it on thicker and heavier
As I went
I said "Would you believe this man has gone as far
To tear Gingrich stickers off the bumpers of cars
And he voted for
Bill Clinton for President.;
Well, he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko trannies
I bet he's even got a bunch of panties
Hanging up on a line
Inside of his garage
He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya, guys
He may look dumb, but that's just a disguise
He's a mastermind
in the ways of espionage
They all started looking real suspicious at him
and he jumped up and said Now Just Wait a minute, Jim
you know he's lying
I've been living here all of my life
I'm a faithful follower of G. Gordon Liddy
And I never wear anything the least bit frilly
And I ain't even got a garage
You can call home and ask my wife
Then he started saying something 'bout the way I was dressed
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy moving
And hoping I didn't run out of luck
When I hit the ground I was making tracks
and they was just taking my car down off the jacks
And I threw the man a 20
and jumped in and fired that hunk up
Lyn St. James would have sure been proud
of the way I was moving when I passed that crowd
Coming out the door and heading towards me at a trot
And I guess I should have gone ahead and run
But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
Of chasing them all just once around
the parking lot
Well they're headed for their car
'But I hit the gas
and spun around and headed them off at the pass
I was slinging gravel and putting a ton of dust in the air
Well, I had 'em all stepping and fetchin
like their heads were on fire and their fannies were ketchin'
But I figured I better go ahead and split
before the cops got there.
When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
Had gravel flying and rubber squealin
And I didn;t slow down
Till I was almost to Arkansas
Well I think I'm gonna rerout my trip
I'd wonder if anyone 'd think this trannie'd flipped
if I went to LA
Via Omaha?
I hope that Charlie Daniels will forgive me!
After the show, Marjorie and a couple ladies from St. Louis Gender Foundation piled into my Taurus, and we became thoroughly lost on the Tri-State Tollway in search of Temptations, a T-friendly bar that some of the Chi-Chapter folks recommended. We met up again with the Crossroads folks, had a couple Killians', then the DJ played that old familiar tune, "We Got The Beat" by the Go-Gos. I had no choice at such a time but to dance, then was attracted to a pair of young ladies who took pity on my ineptitude on a dance floor. One took the initiative, and soon had me wiggling my buns in proper femme fashion to the beat of the music, which to my eternal gratitude remained in late 70's and early 80's mode. We took a few minutes from the floor, got to know both of the ladies, and the lessons continued, with me using my feminine bearing and being critiqued. I learned a lot about deportment that night, and strained my vocal skills to the limit. My throat was fried, my knees were suffering the ill effects of 18 straight hours in heels, my contact lenses were bothering me (didn't have the right soaking solution) and I loved every minute of it
.A Saturday To Remember
Saturday morning, I had nothing scheduled, so I took my time and went down to the lobby, had a bit of juice, talked to Marsha of Cross-Port a bit, and snapped a few pictures for posterity. Lunch was very interesting, when I sat next to one of the IFGE board members (whose name escapes me), and we talked about the IFGE and what it means to the community - a good education for me. Dr. Randi Ettner gave a short but memorable speech, in which she equated the transgendered/femme sides of us with the hidden spirit that is a part of Native American culture and beliefs. She feels that therapy for the transgendered, ideally, brings out the inner spirit and gives it life. I found that to be an intriguing analogy, and wished that I could have attended her seminar, but I'd already scheduled a photo shoot with Dan. The results of that were excellent, and I had a wonderful time. After that, I was heading towards the door to return to Oakbrook Mall in search of a leather skirt and accessories for my formal gown for the evening banquet, when I was asked by one of the Chi-Chapter folks (name escapes me again) to join them on a shopping trip to Yorktown Mall. I was glad to, and was even happier when I found out why: most of the shoppers had never been out femme. We divided up, and my partner was Jessica from the Twin Cities. Jessica allowed that she'd been shopping but was too afraid to do anything but window shop; we solved that with me doing the talking to start with, and we both found the last minute compliments to our evening ensembles. We even had our group picture taken by a pair of preteen ladies, who were enthralled by this group of crossdressers in varying degrees of passability.
Upon returning, we changed to evening wear, and redid our hair and makeup into smoky evening mode; waited an hour for the group picture, enjoyed a fine meal, then an impressive performance of singing and vaudeville by the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. I also enjoyed the conversation with several members of the chorus afterwards, when we were able to talk about that universal subject, music.
A number of us then headed for the Hollywood Casino in Aurora, Ill. I'm not a gambler at all, as is Marjorie, but we enjoyed talking to one of the bartenders who attended to our needs with great courtesy and healthy interest. Later, we talked and exchanged makeup hints with a Chicago beautician who found us more interesting than video poker. After that, the captain invited us to the helm to watch him dock the huge riverboat. As it turned out, he is gay, and was very interested in the BeAll, having seen a number of transgendered people on his boat the past couple of days.
The only scheduled event for Sunday was the breakfast brunch. It was bizarre and a bit sad to see and talk to people in male mode, and have to identify them by nametag. I was not in male mode, I figured that I checked in femme, and would leave that way. I had intended to do a little more shopping before I left Chicago; I was moving my luggage to the car, when I found out about a consignment shop, the Clothing Exchange, that was having a moving sale. I got directions to Villa Park, and set off for the shop. When I arrived, I found a number of Be-All refugees there, and the proprieters were serving wine and soda to the shoppers. I found 4 dresses, 3 skirts, and some cosmetics that fit, and had another good time. In fact, it was the perfect farewell to Chicago. The drive home was uneventful; even a gas stop in rural Indiana was no problem, with the teenaged female clerk complimenting me on my new dress and makeup. If she read me, it wasn't obvious. When I was crossing the Kennedy Bridge into Louisville, I dialed up Amy on my cellphone, and invited her to a final femme dinner (and her birthday dinner) at Friday's. By this time, my hair was falling out of style, and my makeup was less than perfect, but Amy didn't mind, and neither did the waitress at Fridays. It was the perfect ending to a great weekend.
In short, whether you are an experienced public crossdresser, TS, or a less-confident sort, a convention like the Be-All is something you should not miss. You will make friends, gain confidence, and become better at the craft and art of crossdressing. You will have fun. You will not want to leave. And, you will learn how to take feminine-protection product surveys...let's see, what's better, Kotex or Tampax? Where were the ladies from Temptations when I needed them?
Anne Casebeer
The "BelleView is the monthly newsletter of the Bluegrass Belles TG Support Group, PO Box 20173, Louisville, KY. Contact us using Email at dwils00@UKCC.UKY.EDU, or acasbeer@jcc-uky.campus.mci.net, snail mail to PO Box 20173, Louisville, KY. 40250, or dial 606-389-9304. Any article can be reprinted by permission of author. We welcome contributions, letters to the editor, comments, and exchanges of newsletters with other groups. We meet in Lexington, KY on the 3rd Saturday - contact us directly for details.