BGB BelleView, November 1998

Social and Support Meeting:

Saturday, November 21

We'll be discussing relationship issues at our November meeting. Our friends, the Isons, from CrossPort, will be talking about building and maintaining love and respect within couples where transgenderism is an issue. We'll break into groups, then rejoin and have a discussion. This is a meeting that you should bring your family member, spouse, partner, friend, or significant other to, and should be useful for everyone. Come to learn or teach! We'll start at 8PM at First Unitarian.

Planning Meeting for "Standing United" Preceding Regular Meeting

All those interested in helping with or planning the upcoming '99 IFGE Convention, to be held here in Louisville in March, should plan on arriving at First Unitarian by 630PM on the 21st. We'll be making progress reports on the hotel search and dates, delegating and assigning responsibilities, and reporting on news from Alison and Kristine. The meeting is open to all who are interested, be they BGB members, our friends from the surrounding cities, or members of the local GLBT community. We welcome everyone's input in order to make this the finest convention we can!

Holiday Party Coming Fast!

Our holiday party is coming up fast! December 19, to be exact. It will be a potluck feast, so start thinking about what you want to bring. Board members are asked to bring meat dishes. Everyone else should bring casseroles, salads, vegetables, breads, or desserts. Mattie Carter of Southerners on New Ground (SONG) will speak. We'll be meeting at First Unitarian, as usual. Also, you can bring a gift ($10 limit), and we'll draw names (optional). We'll open the church at 6PM, and start at 730PM. Partying afterwards? I'd imagine!

Other Nearby Holiday Parties

For those looking for more holiday fun, our friends from CrossPort and Tennessee Vals are also hosting holiday parties, and you're invited. Neither are very far to drive, and inexpensive motel lodging is available near the party sites. CrossPort's will be Thursday, December 17, featuring a buffet, DJ, and possibly even karaoke. Costs and contact data are not available at this time, but we'll know by meeting time. It's always a good time, and good excuse to break out the sequins, taffeta, and velour.

The Tennessee Vals will be holding their Holiday Banquet at the Hilton Inn Suites in Brentwood, TN, just south of Nashville. Dallas Denny will be the guest speaker, and she is always interesting, acerbic, and informative. For the banquet itself, you may choose from prime rib, chicken Marsala, stuffed flounder, and vegetarian dishes. This is an occasion for your best formalwear, held in very classy surroundings, and followed by some serious partying. To attend, mail your menu selection, your name, and $25, to Tennessee Vals, PO Box 92335, Nashville, TN. 37209. They want all reservations in by December 1st.

 


With No Apologies..

By Dawn Wilson

Winning Adversity's Challenge

It was a cold, dark, eerie night..... No this isn't a ghost story, but a thank you story. You see, the night was Dec. 21st. The event? The formation of BGB (and, yes, the moon WAS full). We are not quite 2 years old, and already we've conquered more demons than many of our TG sisters and brothers; Washington, KCA, HRC and now a shot at the title. Yes, we are hosting a convention. Not just any convention, but the IFGE'S. This convention is only the beginning of greater things to come.

I am very proud of this group! Because of YOU, we are now a premiere group! One in which business and fun is a great recipe for the traditional madness which engulfs BGB. It is my hope and wish that this convention will lead to more members and more good times. It is may hope that one day we will host a permanent BGB convention in Louisville. That is a worthy hope.

But, let us remember that we all have great ideas, but if we fail to execute those ideas, they become failed dreams rather than reality! For example, Terri once told me of an idea to do charity work. Terri then executed the idea by setting up collection jars in good locations. Out of the hard work of Terri and Common Ground grew a charitable cause- the construction of a Pediatric AIDS clinic in Louisville. One person, one idea, and one execution can lead to an exciting result! Thank you Terri! As with the AIDS clinic and the Pride Picnic, to carry off the convention we are going to need not only ideas, but execution. Thanks to the quick thinking of Anne and the trollop, we have averted and solved problem after problem. I am going to ask Cindy, Terri, Evelyn and Bonnie to join me in the effort to line up vendors. Why them? Why not.

There is a lot Anne and I need to work out and organize, so all those in BGB who want to actively give input need to meet one hour before the regular BGB meeting. At that point, I would like to have to have status reports given. We are not out of the woods yet, but I do see daylight!

BGB & Fairness VS The Lexington/Fayette County Human Rights Commission

In late September, the Lexington Human Rights Commission had its first meeting with the GLBT community, and by all accounts surprise and shock would be the understatement of the year! I arrived at City Hall in a Wildcat Blue Oxford Cloth shirt with my Lexmark ID badge showing. We met at City Hall on the 5th floor, where members of the Lexington Fairness committee were joined by Lexington-area members of BGB, and Maria Price of the State Fairness Committee. We had prayer before the entertainment began. and we were going to need it. We were lead by Rev. Rex van Alstine of Lexington MCC and Rev. Gary of the Disciples of Christ Church., same as Woodland where I belong. We then challenged the Commission to do 3 things :

1. DISCUSS GLBT ISSUES IN PUBLIC, THE COMMISSION AND WITH FRIENDS.

2. TAKE ACTION TO INFLUENCE, ENFORCE OR CHANGE THE LAWS.

3. NAME A GLBT PERSON TO THE COMMISSION AND MAKE A STATEMENT.

The Q&A of this 5 minute session stretched to 50 minutes, as members stated that they didn't realize there was a problem. They also acknowledged their shortcomings and their so called frustration with the lack of legal remedies and jurisdictional disputes. Some members sought clarification of issues and more information, but one member, a long time member of the commission who is an female African-American, was very angry. She felt our approach was accusing the commission of failure in its efforts. At this point, I spoke up and reminded her that we were not there to press policy, but to establish a dialogue. I also reminded her that, yes, they had fail this part of the community by making nebulous statements that did nothing. I also reminded this lady of the words of Dr. King: " Laws only change one's behavior in society, not the hearts of men." With that, she withdrew her opposition. The meeting closed on a positive note with an exchange of statistics. Lexington Fairness and KFA will be continuing to lobby these people on GLBT issues, and Marjorie and I will be involved at some levels to push the Transgendered ISSUES, and make sure they stay included. Marj and I then ate dinner with members of Lexington Fairness, and discussed tactics.

If you are TG, live in Lexington/Fayette County, and you don't get involved, the forces that put you in the closet will win. To Quote Homey the Clown "I don't think so !" I refuse to go down without a fight and we are in on the ground level on this one. The choice is simple: No justice, NO PEACE, NO MERCY!

See What Kind Of Damage One Queen Can Do? The attack on Angela Bridgman in the October CrossPort InnerView was unfortunate. Let's be clear about something: blasting every one in a group because of one closeted, uppity queen is not a good idea. We've received a pile of email on this article, and many people in many groups were as outraged as was. This came at a very bad time. We can ill afford a "border war" with CrossPort over one person's ignorance. We are going need their help, and value their support and friendship.

I know it hurts Angela. We all were hurt by this. It was a tasteless, vicious attack which deserves a response. A measured one. As founder and CEO, it is my job to meet with these people and DEMAND an apology, not only in person, but to BGB and the TG community in general. I am going on record as saying that I feel that, as editor, Jeannette Caden is accountable for letting this get printed, and has amends to make as well. I also will ask that the person who wrote "Catty Chat," must stand and apologize to Angela. As CEO of BGB, I ask this in a cold professional manner and will not relent. It's only fair.-

Education Is Where You Make It, Not Why

On Nov. 6th, the transgendered reign of terror of Dawn Josephine Wilson at Lexmark will end. I am moving on to brighter pastures on Nov. 9th. Although there were many benefits to staying, there were also a lot of drawbacks. Not unlike the rest of my TG brothers and sisters, I had a rough road in the beginning, lasting for about 2 weeks. But, because of my hard work and attitude, I was able to win over a lot of people. Yes, I even won the bathroom issue! (I use the womens room with no problem) Management has been supportive, as well as many of my team members, who were saddened to hear I was leaving. Management tried to get me to stay, but knew that it was to no avail. Starting November 9th, I will be working as a consultant for a foundation on a permanent basis. The benefits package is being negotiated as we speak. Lexmark was a great place to work, and we now have a foothold in the door that is positive. In fact, on Monday I will report to medical with some contact info for our group, for sensitivity training later in the year. Sometimes it takes an iron hand in a velvet glove to do a job.

... NO ROCKY HORROR JOKES, PLEASE!!!

It is always nice to be respected. It is even nicer when it is unexpected! It has been 8 years since I graduated from Transylvania University. Aside from the numerous requests of my fellow alumni, I never have been asked to do anything for Transy.. Yesterday, that all changed. I received a letter, signed by the former Dean of Students who is now the Chair of the Academic Standards Committee. You see, Airhead here had her records changed, but needed to have a new degree made up with the name changed. This cam e to the attention of Dr. Thompson, and as a result of that contact, Dr. Thompson has asked me to give a lecture on Transexualism to a class of 40 upperclassmen! This is quite an honor for this Transsexual from Transylvania! The lecture will take place Nov. 9TH, the 1st anniversary of the death of my uncle, at 9:30am. Education is why we exist as a group, but since this is my alma mater, I'll be doing this one alone. I'd welcome any suggestions or outlines you can think of, however.


Our Time In Eden

By Anne Casebeer

Southern Comfortable

Relaxation is something I have never had an easy time doing. I'm pretty high strung and hyperactive, a serious coffee and diet Coke addict, and a workaholic besides. Further, I turn up the intensity when I have to, and the tank runs dry after awhile. That was indicative of my state of mind on September 30. I'd worked nearly 3 weeks with no day off, and was completely fried. To appreciate my work ethic, try this: work 9 hours, pack for 4 days and nights of serious crossdressing, grab a trollop and her luggage, drive from Louisville to Lexington, pick up the legendary D.J. Wilson, then drive to Atlanta. All of which we did in about 6 hours flat. Did I break any laws? I'll never tell.....As many have observed previously, Southern Comfort is aptly named; a comfort zone for all transgendered people, located in a comfortable hotel, and attended by a lot of transpeople who, well, make you feel very much at ease. Comfort, indeed. I walked into the bar at the Sheraton 4 Points after this marathon work-and-drive Wednesday, just about overcome with road hypnosis and caffeine overdose, attired in the worn out jeans, black golf shirt, and half-rotten running shoes that I wore to work that morning. The sight of the good Dr. Richmond at the bar was quite welcome, and a couple quick Heinekens before closing time provided a temporary remedy for what ailed me, thank you very much.

If destroying rain forests were my goal, I could discuss the whole conference, but I'm better off just hitting the highlights. The nice thing about SCC is that everyone will have different highlights. By doing it this way, I'm going to omit many worthy events, but sorry, it's my highlight film. My highlights usually focus on people, and with 500+ transpeople in one place, it's inevitable that one would meet many interesting individuals. Plus, something else happened that was pretty momentous... whoops, can't tell you about that yet. So, in no particular order....

Meeting Jamie Adcock of the Swans, and Terrianne Summers of the North Florida Sisters was a major highlight. I've traded a bit of email with these ladies, and ladies they are indeed. Placing faces with names is always nice, and I enjoyed getting to know them better. They both were as intelligent and witty as I expected them to be, and I hope they can come to......you're not ready yet.

The talent show is always a favorite event, even if I couldn't participate, which time didn't allow this time (you'll see why later...) I thoroughly enjoyed the comedy of Jami Ward, Sabrina Marcus, and Angelika! Angela delivered the routine of her life, while Jami managed to make us all bust our girdles in laughter as only she can. Sabrina is the measure against which I judge emcees, TG or not. Which brings us to Marc Eden's incredible rendition of The Impossible Dream (The Quest), from Man of La Mancha. How could Marc top last year's performance? All he did was choose a song that all TG people can relate to, and simply sing the heck out of it. His voice was even better than last year, if that's possible. The day after, I had the opportunity to talk to Marc for awhile, and he's every bit as impressive in conversation as he is on stage. A true gentleman.

While we're speaking of gentlemen, I must mention Robert Eads. Robert brought the house to tears with his speech before Thursday's luncheon. Once again, I made certain to meet this man. I found another true gentleman, a man who reminded me very much of my father in build and demeanor. They could have been brothers, in fact. Robert is suffering from cancer, and is a warrior of the first order. He will live at SCC as long as there are SCCs, and I am a better human being for having met him. Thank you, Robert, for being there for all of us.

I first met JoAnn Roberts at SCC in 1997, but didn't have much chance to talk to her at that conference. This time, I was able to talk to her a bit more. I found her to be very approachable and funny. The way that she handled her quick, apparently unplanned "performance" in the talent show was a nice piece of quick thinking. Very impressive. I was also particularly impressed with Stefanie Schumacher, the other co-chair, who I didn't know well at all going in. A very witty and intelligent woman who, with Jenni, did a great job in a difficult situation. Cindy Martin and Jamie Faye Fenton were also very much in attendance from TG Forum, and I really enjoyed talking to them. I hope they can attend......almost gave it away, you aren't ready for that song yet.

The luncheon speeches were universally excellent. Giselle Schumacher (Stef's mom) delivered a simple and moving message, Dawn Wilson's address was a 90-proof dose of medicine that was needed by all in the community, Marisa was both funny and thought-provoking as only she can be, and Les Feinberg was everything I'd expected and more. I didn't get to that many seminars, but the ones I did attend were well done. The biggest problem, other than the effort of making my damaged knees function in the morning, was deciding which of several seminars to attend that ran simultaneously. Not an easy thing to do. I watched a girl, one from the Louisville area in fact, place tape recorders in seminars and attend another one at the same time, which is something I may try that next spring....whoops, almost gave it away.

The only negative part of Southern Comfort for me was something that comes of growth, something that occurs more and more in the real world, and something that was in no way the fault of the organizers. There was a strange atmosphere to this conference, a certain noise, vibration, and harshness. With the increase in attendance came an increase in the rudeness and crudeness factor. I don't expect any gathering of 500+ human beings to be peaches and cream, but there was a certain increase in cutting in line, loud talking and argumentativeness, and general rudeness. Maybe more people got cut off on the freeway on the way to the convention, I don't know. I heard of at least one incident of someone supposedly using the sink in a ladies' room as a urinal, and a couple near-fights breaking out. I hope that next year, with the increase in attendance that is sure to happen, that people can leave their rudeness in their hotel rooms, but I won't be holding my breath. Could we all consider that? I get cussed out enough at work. Civility really is the glue that holds society together.

Who The @#$* Does Roseanna Dantanna Think She Is?

I'm afraid I must interject my 2¢ worth regarding the issue of the "Catty Chat" column. . I was totally shocked when I read that passage in the CrossPort InnerView. I'm a member of CrossPort, in addition to BGB, and I consider

Jeannette Caden, their newsletter editor, something of a mentor and certainly a friend. I understand, after speaking to her at CrossPort's October meeting, that she's had some difficulties lately. I'm also quite aware that their new board structure is getting organized. Also, every newsletter editor that I know of attempts to interject humor wherever possible. Still, I don't feel that this sort of personal attack belongs in a group newsletter, regardless of whether or not Angela is guilty as charged.

This is exactly tha kind of thing that drives wedges between nearby groups, and has in the past in this part of the country. It won't this time, not if I can affect the outcome in any useful way. I've spoken to several members of CrossPort's board, and some former leaders of the group, and all expressed regret for this incident. Jeannette has assured me that it won't happen again, and I believe her. We will not let it interfere with the friendships that exist between members of this group and CrossPort, will not let it interfere with the help they've offered us with the upcoming convention, will continue to maintain contact with CrossPort, and especially want to invite the Isons and any other CrossPort members to visit our meetings and outings. The actions and words of individuals are not the actions or opinions of either the board or the group as a whole.

Since the beef here is with one individual, I'd like to publicly ask that individual to publicly retract that statement , or at least make some kind of apology in public to CrossPort (yes, you owe your own group an apology for this), BGB, and to Angela personally. That person is responsible for deliberately trying to make enemies of 2 friendly TG groups located within 90 minutes of each other with several members in common. I find that unacceptable and reprehensible. It also shows contempt for the very idea of the purpose of a support group - support for each other above all. Certainly, if your goal was to hurt the feelings of a very sensitive, hard-working, supportive human being, you succeeded very well. So, Roseanna, whomever you are, please send that email, disk, or come to Louisville. We'll let you have newsletter space or 10 minutes of floor time at a BGB meeting to explain or apologize, and what you have to say will be treated with respect and courtesy. You're not going to get your head ripped off, because all adults should respect the guts requited to do the right thing. You'll have to come to the mountain, so to speak, because I seriously doubt Angela will be coming to a restaurant or club near you very soon. Of course, that's probably what you wanted. You probably got your wish, but be careful what you wish for in life, you just might get it.

We Got It! IFGE '99's In Louisville!

I guess you're ready for the news., but I guess you probably have already figured it out. BGB is the host group for the 1999 IFGE convention, and I've spent the last few weeks burning the midnight oil in search of a hotel and the other wonderful things we need to pull this thing off. Fortunately, Alison Laing and Kristine James of IFGE are in our court, handling the funds, overseeing things, and letting us make the moves that we can make. In next month's newsletter, we'll have most of the details, and certainly dates, hotel, and logo. It'll be in March, but the exact dates are not cast in stone as of this writing. Once these preliminary steps are taken, we will need to brainstorm programming. I'd like everyone in this group to please share their resources, because the electrologist you see, the stores you shop in, the salon you frequent, the lady who sells you your makeup, even your clergyman or doctor may be just the person we need to teach a seminar or be a vendor. This will become more clear later, but first things first.


Three Years Out -- On My Own

By Marjorie Demaille

What that title signifies is that it was back on the 5th of August in 1995 that I first got up the nerve to venture out in my blue dress, by myself, in my own town. I can quote from my journal of the time, "Yes! Yes! I went to The Bar in drag, and once it was over caught the rest of the after hours drag show at Lifestyles. Weather was cooperative. A regular summer night would have been miserable walking around. There was a light rain last night to keep temps and crowds alike down. ... I found it kind of pleasant strolling in misty rain under my umbrella. I mistepped into a couple puddles. Twice while on brick sidewalks I caught my heel in cracks between them."

Perhaps it has been your experience that being in public as your alternately gendered self goes more easily with another gender bud along. Most times that's true for me also, and certainly the companionship adds to the enjoyment of our outing. While I will grant all that, let me point out that from facing the conventional world solo, one-on-one, has sprung many of the more memorable and most fascinating cross-gender episodes. Let me run a few of these vignettes by you. How about...

Exotic Dance

You really don't need to spend many hours to have a memorable time -- this one went by within the space of an 60 minutes. One Friday while primping, a gay acquaintance new to the Lex scene rang up. He wanted to tag along just to get out of the house. By the time I made it over there it was closing in midnight. He'd heard about The Bar Complex as a meeting spot, and expressed a desire to give it a go. I was set on the Vertigo dance club. Once I'd let him off, I strode to my preferred destination in red mid heels I had got at the Shoe Carnival, where one of the Belles worked. The dress was a red dotted one, in a mock wrap style tying at the hip, and a short one besides. I wish I had a picture of this outfit! I had to brush off one guy on the sidewalk shortly before getting to the club entrance. Once past the flashlight ID check (it's dark in there) I ordered a glass of wine at the bar. The first thing anyone said to me was one patron telling me how he liked my dress.

Vertigo prides itself on "the biggest ball in town." I must say indeed, never have I seen a larger mirror ball anywhere. Somewhere on the mezzanine overlooking the floor (nothing up there but the DJ) is a bubble machine. That leads into the entertainment for my time there. A petite woman, really perky, one with an applique (or temp tattoo) beside her nose, asked me to change a twenty. Well I didn't have it, but I asked her why she needed a five-dollar bill. The idea was to tip the DJ so he would run the bubble machine the rest of the night. The bartender made change, and Monique took me by the hand to introduce her party mates. After a little trouble we did get bubbles, for all of ninety seconds. What a waste of $5.

There is one mirrored nook on either side of the dance floor. I'd say these must be tranny magnets; I know I felt drawn over there. Right then Monique decided it was time for my dance lesson. Did I say she is a strip dancer? Out on her first night since Christmas? She had me stand facing the mirrors with legs wide apart, then roll hips in a circle. This goes pelvis forward and body back on the front stroke and butt out on the rear. Next you get fancy with it by putting a dip into it on the frontside and rising up on the backside. She showed me the arm motions too. That much is going to take some practice. In the advanced course you do all this while turning your whole body in circles, which she next demonstrated. So, people, I had to believe this woman is an exotic dancer.

At the Money Machine

On Friday after Thanksgiving, and following a lengthy depilation ritual, I attired my Marjorie self in jeans, a favorite long-sleeve wine-red top, white Reeboks and my black shell jacket for an afternoon showing at the movies. Before going, I deposited my paycheck at a walk-up ATM kiosk. Has this ever happened to you: I waited in my car for a senior couple to use it first. Once inside though, I noticed that the gent had left his wallet on the counter beside the machine. Now what do I do? I mean after all, the very point of waiting in the auto was to avoid facing these citizens. Okay, I grasped the wallet and stepped outside, waving it. The woman let down her window to accept it gratefully, saying, "We need more young girls like you." I guess she did not look very closely? I think I smiled during this trade and thought it best to preserve the illusion by remaining silent. I suppose I could have squeaked a thank you. When I returned to my own transaction I cracked up totally at the double irony of being called young and a girl. Yes, one more moment of trans hilarity.

The Mulcher

One particular Sunday I was going to try grocery shopping, but I was only getting ready when Dr J called up. This gent is my former office mate, and that morning was attempting a little yard work. He experienced troubles with a rented mulcher. From the lab days he knows I can sometimes handle mechanical repairs. At first I tried to troubleshoot this matter over the telephone, but it became pretty apparent to me he wanted me to come look at it. At that point I explained about being en femme that day. Actually he and I had talked some about trans matters previously, like the day he asked me why I had that bottle of nail enamel on my kitchen table. He seemed all right about it that time. So I told him if I came over there, it would be as Marjorie. Further I stated it was no problem for me, the question was could he handle it? He was reluctant on that one, so I said I'd call back when I got ready; I'd only just washed up and shaved.

I broke out my gal's jeans and a nicely colored top along with my white ankle socks and ladies Reeboks. Dabbed on my notion of daytime makeup, clipped on simple blue disk earrings, got out a couple rings and the tools. Next I slung my latest handbag on my shoulder and went over there. The short of it is he did not faint, plus we got the machine to start. Yay! Marjorie the mechanic. What did my friend say? He said I looked different. I said I hope so. Subsequently it rained heavily, canning the grocery visit. I'd say I didn't need to go to the store in drag to call this an unusual day...

Transvestite Beauty Contest

On Halloween night I read two letters from a transsexual correspondent at an O'Charleys restaurant, while I was eating a salad there, wearing pregnant drag. Why was that, you might ask. For Halloween 1996, the local mainstream rock radio station staged a transvestite beauty contest at a college tavern. The name of the contest: Hell on Heels. The top prize: A set of Black & Decker power tools. I can only picture ten of us who were competing though there may have been a dozen in all. Marjorie was the only pregnant one of course.

This maternity outfit drew a good deal of tittering from the genetic women, it seemed to me. To counter the gaze of one young lady eyeing me when I first entered, I asked if she had never seen a pregnant woman before. Her answer, "I guess I don't get out enough." Later on I was sipping my White Russian, biding time with Lola, my fellow contestant (so to speak). Another girl came over where we were sitting to ask us about things. She wondered why we like to wear bras and particularly hose. "Why hose?" she wanted to know. I told her I like them. She thought we had guts to be doing this; in a college bar, maybe so. I really liked her for talking to us. She rooted for me; she complimented my dress too.

At length it came time for the main event. When my name was called and I clambered on stage the emcee, in his Alice Cooper eyes, said, "Oh my god, this one's pregnant." Of course he had to ask who knocked me up, and when I had no immediate answer said, "She doesn't know. Slut."

And the gender stories can go on from there. At this point let me invite you to put yours to paper to share with us. Or if you are still only new to chasing around out there, imagine what sort of fun lies ahead for you to discover. I'll sign off for now. Remember: life is too short for long skirts.


Totally..

By Angela Bridgman

Southern Comfort

........was an unqualified success. If you missed out on this one, do not fear, there will be one again, next year, and I'm sure it will be as much fun as this year's was! There were shopping trips, vendors selling all kinds of neat stuff (I got a nice pair of black heels), and lots of fun people at the Convention. It was a chance to meet, in person, some of the people I'd only read about...or read their writings.

Unfortunately, I missed out on the Hard Rock trip, tix were sold out long before I had a chance at them. However, we did take in the local nightlife in Atlanta, first at the Nomenclature Musevm (yes that's spelled right, Anne!) and then at the ever-famous Chamber. The Chamber reminded me a lot of Connections, so I'll say no more on that subject....

There was the talent show on Friday, in which yours truly gave a smashing performance, thanks, in part, to some instruction received by Jami Ward, about whom I'd only heard legends.... The best thing at Southern Comfort, though, without a doubt, was the "Prom That Never Was." I wish they had told me months in advance that they were auctioning off some of the guys from the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus, so I could've saved up my money, to get a real prom date! Never underestimate the seductive powers of The Trollop! Whilst all these other girls had a nice man to dance with, I roamed around the hotel a bit, and happened upon John, the cute flight attendant from British Airways, who happened to be staying that night in the hotel. He told me that he was gay, and had heard that the Gay Men's Chorus was performing. Mmmmmmm...I got an idea! With me on his arm, John got to see the final half of the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus, who were truly fabulous! After they had finished, the dance resumed, and John swept me onto the dance floor for my moment. I can tell you this much...I enjoyed it! And he sure had no complaints!! And, contrary to popular belief, he was the closest I have gotten to a man in about six months...not for lack of trying, you understand!!!

There was, however, a small bit of ugliness at Southern Comfort.... reprehensibles (oops, representatives) of HRC were to speak at our convention. Because of delays in serving at the luncheon, speaker Leslie Feinberg went over, and I missed out on the last of his speech, in order to insure myself a front-row center seat for the HRC seminar. I got to the room, and only one other person was there...the man was on the Board of Governors for HRC! Apparently, he had come only to observe the proceedings, he did not speak during the presentation given by one Tony Esoldo...who, by my own estimation, was the youngest, least experienced, and greenest person HRC could possibly have sent us...perhaps they were sending us a message....I took advantage of the fact that I had a captive audience, right then, with a member of the Board of Governors for HRC...and gave him a piece of my mind. I advanced to him what I call my "big money" theory. Here's the way of it...HRC is pretty much aware that trans-inclusion is not only right, but necessary! However, there are a few donors to HRC that I call the big-money donors...people like David Geffen and Elton John.... My theory is that it is these big-money donors who are against trans-inclusion...and HRC must do as the big-money donors want, or lose the support of those individuals. The man (whose name I never caught) did not disagree with me on that theory. And, on one level, if that is what it is, I can understand their hesitation to include trans-people...after all, they would be losing a lot of their big money....never stopping, even for a moment, to consider that they may gain a lot more than they lose by trans-inclusion! Tony himself was a nice enough fellow, but he had no idea of what really had been going on between HRC and the transgender community; he was not able to answer any of the tough questions. questions like those posed by Helen Garfinkle, of WBA. Tony as much as admitted that the transgender issues were well known by the local gay and lesbian people, and well over 50% of them supported inclusion of transgender people...however, it seemed word of this was not getting back to Washington, hence Tony's plea for more education (sound familiar yet?) Helen then told Tony that she, and her group had spent hundreds, no thousands of dollars educating the GLB community as to our issues...and it seemed to do no good, since the word was not getting back to Washington (and Helen, I might add, is a Maryland resident...how much closer to home does HRC want this to be before they get it, anyway??? Do we have to serve it up to them on a silver platter??) After that, Angela Brightfeather got in a few remarks about how the GLB community was not effectively using transpeople in their arguments against the same-sex marriage bills, like DOMA...in light of what has recently happened in Alaska, this was a most excellent point! Terry Murphy took a few shots herself, supporting the sentiments of all present, save the reprehensibles (oops, representatives) of HRC. After all that, The Trollop took aim. I had the evidence in my hot little hands of HRC's attempts to sabotage the Lobbying event led by Phyllis Frye in Feb. 1997. Two weeks prior to that event, HRC, accompanied by GenderPAC's own Riki Anne Wilchins, warned all the Senators and Representatives in Congress who would listen that we (the transpeople) were coming...and to tell them that ENDA would not pass with trans-inclusion!! Dawn Wilson confirmed this...and also mentioned that when she had worked as an L.A. for Sen. Mitch McConnell, she had observed HRC in there persuading the Congressmen and women that ENDA would not pass with trans-inclusion. I then threw Tony Esoldo's own words back at him, and asked if that was how they, in his own words, were "opening the doors of Congress to the transgender community." Needless to say, Mr. Assault had no sufficient answer to that question! Round Two...The Trollop takes careful aim again...and scores a direct hit, drawing gasps from all present, including the HRC reprehensibles (oops, there it goes again!!! representatives) I built this one up more slowly, to ensure maximum impact. I asked if anyone in the room remembered the last ENDA vote, which went down 49-51...with 1 abstention. I asked if any in the room remembered who the abstention was...then told them. Sen. Mitch McConnell! I then pointed out that Sen. McConnell had all but bent over backwards to help me in my struggle with the U.S. Census Bureau...in Indiana!! Completely out of his jurisdiction!!! But he did so anyway.... And then, I delivered the bomb...do you suppose that if trans-inclusion had been a part of that legislation that McConnell just might have voted yes, rather than abstaining? That would have made the vote 50-50...sending the tie-breaking vote to Mr. Gore...who undoubtedly would have voted in favor...and Clinton most definitely would have signed it! I then pointed out that since we talked to all supporting Senators...and every one of them said they would not have withdrawn their support for ENDA had trans-inclusion been in it...So, therefore, I posed the rhetorical question that, had trans-inclusion been in that bill, ENDA may have actually passed!! It was reported to me that Mr. Assault looked like he'd been punched by the time that meeting was over! So, is it MOTS for HRC...I guess we will have to wait and see. However, I do wish to point out here that first, I have no personal problem with Mr. Assault, merely the organization he represents...and secondly, I have to hand him a whole lot of credit for having the guts to come to this convention in the first place! I also must hand him a lot of credit for standing up to the tough questions....although he could not answer them, he did not hedge, or try to change the subject.

Other than that, there was more, much more, exciting things happening at Southern Comfort. Most of us know what I am getting at here, but I will hold my tongue and not say anything about that subject for now. Overall, I have to say, if you missed this year's Southern Comfort, you really missed a lot!!

Totally...Uncalled For!

Recently, the following appeared, in the October issue of InnerView, the newsletter of CrossPort, our sister TG support group in Cincinnati, credited to one "Roseanna Dantanna": "Tell me something: Is Angela Bridgman the loudest, over-bearing person to attend CrossPort in some time? Wag, wag, wag, wag, wag all night long; give it a rest; enough, already! And turn it down a few decibels while you're at it. As I always told my Uncle Fred: You can wear a dress and call yourself 'Aunt Molly' all you want, but as long as you continue to act like you do, you'll always be Uncle Fred."

Now, personally, I freely admit to my own faults...there are times at which I can be loud, obnoxious, overbearing, and sometimes downright rude! Fine. I admit that...but I do not feel that a support group's newsletter should be the venue for someone to air out a personal attack...or to directly attack another person's femininity...and under a pseudonym, yet! I don't know how CrossPort feels about this, but we here at BGB see our own newsletter as a reflection of us as a group...and I have to wonder if this is the image CrossPort would like to portray in front of the rest of the TG community. Personally, for me, I have more class than to hang where I'm not wanted, and, thus, will no longer be attending any CrossPort function ever again. Period.

 


Feminine Boy Shakes Up Small School

By Dan Sewell

CARROLLTON, Ga. (AP) -- Patrick Nelson had heard there was a cross-dressing boy enrolled at his high school. But darned if he could figure out just who it was. "I looked for him the first couple weeks. The honest truth -- I didn't even know," Patrick said. One day, he was talking about the mystery to a friend, who smiled and pointed to the pretty blonde at the desk next to his. "I said, 'No way, that's too weird!"' Patrick recalled. "Then I thought about it, and I said, 'So what's so weird about that?"' But while Patrick and his friends were willing to accept Matthew "Alex" McLendon's feminine appearance and mannerisms, others in this rural, conservative western Georgia community of about 20,000 weren't. And so 15-year-old Alex withdrew from school under pressure, leaving supporters of the popular, easygoing student wondering what threat they had supposedly been protected from.

"Alex wasn't causing any problems. She got along well with everybody," said classmate and friend Meayghan Denkers. "She wasn't trying to change anybody to be like her or anything." After a heated meeting of the board of the small, private Georgian Country Day School on Oct. 6, Alex was "invited to withdraw" or face expulsion. Alex, who had enrolled in September after attending public school, was cited for wearing a tongue ring, but had been called before school authorities earlier about his female dress, makeup and hairstyle. Most of Alex's classmates -- including some of the boys -- wore bows in their hair in protest until ordered to remove them by the principal. Some indignantly quoted their school handbook, which urges acceptance of "diversity in opinion, culture, ideas, behavioral characteristics, attributes or challenges." "Alex represents something that's way beyond the experience and the comfort zone of the very conservative people we live with," said Lori Lipoma, Meayghan's mother and a drama teacher at the school. "I really think we all lost something very precious that night." School officials would not discuss the case. "We make no comments on students," said Rex Camp, chairman of the board of the school, where tuition is more than $5,000 a year for the 50 or so high school students. Kindergarten and elementary students are in a separate building, but one parent of a 6-year-old expressed concern at the board meeting about Alex's effect on younger children. "I believe in sexual standards in society, and I want my child in a school that holds the same sexual ethics that I do," said Craig Neal.

Alex, who speaks in a soft, feminine voice, began cross-dressing two years ago and considers himself "95 percent girl." Larry Harmon, a Dade County, Fla., psychologist who counsels patients on sexual identity, said such feelings appear to fit a rare condition called gender-identity disorder. He said it doesn't necessarily imply homosexuality, and it's difficult to know how many youngsters have it and why. "I'm not homosexual," Alex said. "I just look like a girl and I dress like a girl. It wasn't anything flamboyant, not sequins or anything. But because I'm a guy . He has since enrolled in night school and hopes to pursue a career in fashion merchandising and modeling. At the Georgian Country Day School -- where Alex said he enrolled to get a better education -- he struck up a friendship with Meayghan and was soon invited to spend nights over at her house. The first couple of times, Meayghan's mother popped in on them unannounced just in case."They'd be sitting there doing hair, or painting nails, and I said to myself, 'This is a girl," Ms. Lipoma said. A few weeks into the school year, he and his father were summoned to a meeting with school officials. They said that parents had complained, and that he had to dress like a boy, Alex recalled. He refused and was sent home. A special board meeting followed. Under the law, a public school would have had to show that Alex was disrupting education or undermining safety. A private school has more leeway. Alex's mother died when he was young. He said that his cross-dressing initially caused a rift with his father, but that the older man stood with him in the dispute with the board. Mack McLendon declined an interview."School is supposed to be preparing you for life," Alex said. "Parents are trying to protect their kids by covering their eyes. It's going to be a real shock for some of these parents when their kids get out into the real world."

Copyright 1998 The Associated Press.


A Cross-Dressing Carey

On the Wednesday, October 28 episode of the ABC hit sitcom The Drew Carey Show, Drew (Carey) and his heterosexual cross-dressing brother Steve (John Carroll Lynch) square off over the clientele at Drew's favorite watering hole, The Warsaw. Throughout last season, Steve's "coming out" was dealt with responsibly and with humor, as Steve was never the butt of hostile and transphobic humor. In the October 28 episode, Drew stands up for his brother when he is accosted by a Warsaw patron. Steve, upset that anyone would tell him what establishments he can and cannot frequent, invites some of his transgender friends to the bar a few nights later. Drew and Steve soon fight over the bar's new patrons. While the casting of Steve's "cross-dressing" friends is a bit off base, the overall episode is exemplary.

Much to the producers' credit, the sitcom has done more for television audiences' understanding of cross-dressers than any other sitcom in recent history. Steve Carey is given an incredible amount of dignity, despite the often odd and twisted world the other characters seem to inhabit. Executive Producer Deborah Oppenheimer that Steve is one of the show's and audience's favorite characters, and that "we feel proud to present the character of a cross dresser to an audience of more than sixteen million people."

GLAADalert, 10-28-98