BGB BelleView September 1998ox 20173, Louisville, Ky. 40250 September 1998B

Social and Support Meeting:

Saturday, September 19

Are you looking for a job, changing careers, preparing to transition on the job, or interested in polishing your image at work? Join us at First Unitarian, where Ms. Rodman Waddell from the Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation and Career Resources will speak to us about the free resources her agency makes available to job seekers, how to prepare a resume that will get you interviews, and how to present a sharp image for interviewing and work. Dawn also plans a fashion segment with some appropriate looks for the workplace and beyond. Dress in your business best, or casually if you prefer. If you're interested in modeling, contact Dawn directly prior to the meeting at dwils00@ukcc.uky.edu, and note the details in her article this month.


Click Here For Information

Southern Comfort '98 Is Fast Approaching

September 30 - October 4, to be exact. Don't miss the party of the year! Informative seminars, entertaining speakers, political discussion, fellowship and networking with other transgendered people, and that great Atlanta nightlife! Contact Anne (672-8613 pager - agc@MCI2000.com), Dawn (dwils00@ukcc.uky.edu)or Angela (446-2175 pager - trollop1@earthlink.com) to coordinate your ride and room - as of this writing, we may have to go at separate times. For details, go to (http://www.sccatl.org)


Singing For Our Lives Picnic & Concert

Saturday, September 19 at Juniper Park in Frankfort, Ky. Events include an exhibition softball game, Earth Heart concert and instrument making, AIDS Quilt panel making, "Soulful Celebration" Interfaith Service coordinated by the Kentucky MCC Churches, a display of the Family Photo Project (photographer on hand to take your photo if you wish to participate) and the "Singing For Our Lives" Sunset Concert with The Lexington Men's Chorus, Sister Sound, Cynthia Fletcher and Carol Kraemer, and The Revelators. Admission is $5-$15 sliding scale. Hosted by the Kentucky Fairness Alliance.


Peace With Justice Week October 15-18

The Peace With Justice is billed as the 7th Annual Gathering of Peace and Justice Activists, and will be held in Henderson, Ky. It will include hundreds of activists, artists, healers, musicians, organizers, and religious leaders from around the nation, gathered for 4 days of revitalization and renewal. For more info, contact Peace With Justice Week '98, c/o The Paff Haus, 435 First St., Henderson, Ky. 42420


With No Apologies.....By Dawn Wilson

When the bough breaks, the good must be ready....

In late August, I fought Round One in court with Mr. Jeff Morgan, my former landlord. Without further detail, let it suffice to say that I was vindicated. I was only asked by the court to make available a repair person for the wall damaged as the couch was being moved by Anne and Angela. The judge tore him a new one, and was waiting to hear from the human rights

commission about the housing - discrimination charges that I brought against Mr. Morgan .

Now, I can get back to living. I have moved into a nice place in the same Lexington neighborhood I'd lived in previously. I'm going to be giving an address and seminar at Southern Comfort, and we have been asked to appear again at the Kentucky Counseling Association conference. From our old friend Sue Strong, the note, please.....

Dawn,

I submitted a program for the Bluegrass Belles for the Kentucky Counseling Association, which represents the school counselors of Kentucky. That program has been accepted. If you have not heard from the chair of the conference, Jeri Harrell, please contact her. I want to make sure you are advised, and have time to organize the Belles for this presentation in Louisville at the Executive West Thursday, October 15. It's important to continue to share transgender information to Kentucky's school counselors, and you did a great job last year.

Thanks,

Sue Strong

We really did a job there last year, so make your plans to come to this conference if you can, and help us.

September's meeting will feature a fashion show and guest speaker Rodman Waddell, from the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation in Middletown. Anyone interested in modeling is asked to have the following: A white blouse or top, a pair of black pumps, and some black slacks. I also will need your sizes asap. It should be fun!

Love, Dawn


Harassment Forces Gay Business to Close Early

by David Williams, Editor, "The Letter"

When Murphy's Place, a popular gay bar in Louisville, closed its doors for good on June 30, Tony Elble and Murray Powell, proprietors of MT Closets, a gay and lesbian gift store next door- -and an advertiser with this newspaper--hoped they could stay at that location for the foreseeable future. The leasing agent seemed agreeable. It was a good spot near several other gay and lesbian bars, and business remained healthy.

But those hopes were dashed in early August after the old Murphy's space was leased to three partners for a new bar called Freddie's. Because their plans called for opening a restaurant in the MT Closets spot, the leasing agent sent them an eviction notice on July 21. He also raised the rent to an amount over twice what it had been paying. Elble and his partner, Murray Powell, could do nothing about the eviction and began considering their options. But they weren't prepared for the harassment that ensued.

Louisville police and a private investigator have yet to determine who might be behind the harassment. Jesse Francis, Freddie's manager, and Fred Pizzonia, two of the three new owners, adamantly deny any involvement by the partners, and there is no evidence to link them to it. But whoever it was succeeded in forcing MT Closets out ten days earlier than planned. It will be reopening at two nearby gay bars, The Connection Complex and Tynkers Too, in October.

The problems began July 23 after contract painters for Freddie's sprayed grey paint over a storefront sign and splattered it liberally on the pane-glass windows. Several rainbow flags had to be removed, but the store wasn't notified beforehand. At the same time, sidewalk access was blocked by trucks from the west, where most of its customers generally came from. When Elble began taking photographs, one of the painters called him a "faggot." Elble stood up to him forthrightly. He notified Freddie's owners, who fired the painters as a result of the fracas and paid for a new sign. But more serious problems soon arose. With trucks blocking the entrance over the next two weeks, business fell precipitously. Several customers later told Elble they thought the store was closed. When he and Powell complained to the owners, they said they'd obtained a permit to park their vehicles on the sidewalk to load and unload materiel. Pizzonia says they tried not to block access during business hours, but Elble counters he saw trucks on the sidewalk on several occasions while the store was open. At the same time, arguments with the leasing agent over the rent grew heated. Then, about 3 am on July 29, someone attempted to break into the store's back door but was scared off by the alarm. Nothing was taken. That afternoon, according to Elble, one of the new landlords, Ed Henley, asked him how much money they could "throw" their way to help them move out. Elble and Powell dismissed the idea. Pizzonia confirms that an offer was made, but no agreement could be reached.

About a week later, Elble and Powell started receiving hang-up phone calls at their homes. The first, they believe, came from the new bar next door: they could hear the familiar background noise from the construction. But others soon followed. Most were placed after hours to the store phone, which they transfer to their homes at night. The calls couldn't be traced. Events came to a head on August 7 when Elble and Powell arrived at the store only to find a truck blocking the sidewalk once more. They asked one of Freddie's owners to move it, but three and a half hours later it was still there. Elble says he saw Francis and Pizzonia casually leaning against it. When Elble proceeded to take a photograph, he says Pizzonia mumbled a few "choice" words, turned around, mooned him and shouted profanities. Francis and Pizzonia both assert that Pizzonia simply turned around and shook his buttocks "playfully." Over the next four days, someone rummaged through Elble's car and broke into the store's South End warehouse, but the final indignity was a brick thrown through the store's front window. Elble filed two police reports which characterized the break-ins and vandalism as hate crimes. He also named Freddie's co-owners as suspects. But when he got the initial reports back from the Louisville Police Department, there was no mention of suspects or hate crimes. Elble returned to the department to demand that the reports be changed. After some initial reluctance by the policewoman handling the report, they were.

Louisville's media were contacted but failed to cover the story.

Powell and Elble, both of whom suffered stress-related illnesses as a result of the harassment, have hired a private detective to gather evidence and are weighing their legal options. "I'm not going to let them tear down a business that we worked extremely hard to get here," Elble told Cleveland's Gay People's Chronicle. It's not the first time MT Closets has been forced to move. Last year, the city of Louisville zoning department told them to shut down operations at their previous location in the South End because it wasn't in compliance with zoning restrictions. An investigation by The Letter discovered that at least two other businesses in the same block also appeared to be in violation of zoning laws but were still operating with impunity. They're still there.

In August, a banner across the front of Freddie's claimed it will have the largest lighted dance floor in Louisville. Francis and Pizzonia hope the bar, which is due to open at the end of September, will attract both gays and straights. Pizzonia, who once had a business partner who is gay, says he welcomes everyone to the club; if it turns strictly gay, it doesn't matter to him. "A mixed crowd would suit me just fine," he notes. He's visited The Connection on many occasions. Concerning MT Closets, he comments, "We would have loved to rent to them because it was a nice, clean place. But we just didn't have a spot for them" in the floor plans.


Unfair Labor Practices At Darden Restaurants

Forwarded By Terri Hambaugh

Darden Restaurants, the owner of Red Lobster, Olive Garden, and the new Bahama Breeze restaurant chains, wants to be able to fire employees solely because those employees are Gay. Darden Restaurants is going to court to try and get Cook County's (Illinois) human rights ordinance -- which prohibits discrimination based on race, sex, religion, sexual orientation,

and other categories, in matters of employment, housing, public

accommodations and credit transactions -- declared unconstitutional.

Their action comes in response to an order from the Cook County Human Rights Commission that they reinstate a Gay employee who was repeatedly

>ridiculed and eventually fired because of his sexual orientation. The restaurant is not trying to claim that it did not discriminate -- it is acknowledging that it *did* discriminate, and that civil rights laws which prevent them from acting on their bigotry are unconstitutional!

This is not just a company that supports an anti-Gay "foundation." This is not just a company that discriminates and tries to cover it up (although those examples are bad enough!). This is a company that is actively seeking to overturn important civil rights legislation -- which would open the doors for countless other firings, harassment, and other forms of discrimination.

Next time you're tempted to eat at Red Lobster or The Olive Garden, imagine your Lesbian daughter/sister/granddaughter/aunt/niece/friend/mother/lover/ self being fired solely because she's a lesbian -- for no other reason. Or imagine your Gay son/brother/grandson/uncle/ nephew/friend/father /lover /self losing his housing - or being unable to find a place to live -- solely because he's Gay. There are hundreds of other restaurants out there -- ones that aren't using your money to take away the civil rights of those you know and love. Patronize them, but not Red Lobster or The Olive Garden. BOYCOTT RED LOBSTER AND THE OLIVE GARDEN.


Which One Is The Enemy?

This appeared in my email last month. The person who submitted it wishes to remain anonymous, but is involved in It's Time America! It reminds me of a classic Kris Kristofferson song entitled "Who's To Bless and Who's To Blame?" Let's see what HRC has to say for themselves at Southern Comfort......- Anne

Is there anyone who can explain if there is a effective difference in the official policy of the Committee on Moral Concerns and the Human Rights Campaign that will actually make sense to those of us working for equality?

1) "Giving extra legal protection to gender-confused individuals is dangerous and unwise," executive director of Committee on Moral Concerns, a Sacramento lobbying group that claims many church-going backers, Art Croney, said in a letter to lawmakers.

2) "There just isn't the level of acceptance and understanding that needs to happen before(transgender)legislation on a federal level is viable," said Nancy Buermeyer, the Human Rights Campaign's senior policy advocate.

Does Nancy actually think that there was a substantial level of acceptance of gays and lesbians before we all, including transgendered folks, started fighting for civil rights? Time to pull your head out, Nancy. Just so that you know that HRC's Nancy Buermeyer is not quite the ally she wants us to think she is..... She was at ICTLEP in Houston last summer, and she STILL doesn't "Get it" about the TG community? Even a year later? GEEZ!


Marj's Mirror....By Marjorie Demaille

A Supporter Speaks

A month ago, a long time woman friend visited. We go way back, first running into each other just after she had wed a guy I knew from high school times. As she explains, I am out to her, and in fact we had our first public episode during that stay. For some reason, lack of other venues most likely, on Sunday evenings the club-café where we dined is patronized largely by queer people. Let's find out her reaction, in her own words:

Linda & Marjorie's First Night Out

It was a warm pleasant evening, and I was feeling happy and warm inside. It had been a great day, and a pleasurable weekend. I had been with one of the most important persons in my life, my Ed. I live in Indiana, and Ed had come to bring me back with him to Kentucky for a whole week on my well deserved, hard earned vacation. I had been excited for months planning this vacation because I had not seen Ed since Christmas. I have known Ed since '83 and I have loved and admired him greatly. Although he and I came from a totally different world, Ed became my dearest treasure in life. We shared everything and had seen each other through hard times and laughed, and loved, planned and dreamed together.

Tonight though, I was about to be introduced to a part of his world I wasn't sure I was ready for. I had learned about Marjorie maybe 3 years ago. Ed had told me and opened up to me. Now I had always known he was different, and like most straight folks, I guess, I assumed he was gay. I accepted what he said, for the most part, pretty well, maybe because I am different too. I am a woman in every sense of the word, and proud to be one! But I have a thyroid problem, and have to shave everyday, the shadow is heavy at times, and in my small town it's just enough difference for people to point you out and make fun of you. Even though I am a good nurse, a warm and friendly person, hard working, and in my own way, attractive. In this small town, I am called a freak, behind closed doors. That hurts and is hard to live with, but people like my Ed always brighten my world and help me to grow and lift my self esteem. For me, electrolysis would be a godsend, but I cannot afford it, so I must learn and accept straight people's behavior.

I had met Marjorie in complete dress one time, for a short period, just to acquaint myself with her and to please Ed, since it was a desire of his to share Marjorie with me. I was uncomfortable with this experience, but in a way I felt even closer to Ed than ever so I thought I'd be able to handle Marjorie okay. As Marjorie and I were getting ready for our big night on the town, I found I was really getting nervous. It's one thing to be alone with Marjorie, a whole big different thing going out in public. I had finished dressing first so I observed Ed as he began transforming into Marjorie. I found I was beginning to go through an array of emotions. One of my first emotions I did not realize until late in the evening was "anger." As I sat there watching my Ed become Marjorie, I became angry and full of resentment because it was like watching my Ed die, become non-existent, and I hated it. The next emotion was fear, fear I would lose my Ed forever to Marjorie, fear I would say the wrong thing to Marjorie or her friends. Fear because I came from a small town, as I have stated before, where this would be totally unacceptable and also fear because I am a believer in God, and wholesomeness, and being the best you can be as God made you.

Now, I had never seen a drag queen, never been in a place where open gay activity was acceptable or even desired. Nor had I ever known anyone who was a cross-dresser, except my Ed. I was about to walk into a world totally unknown and unacceptable to me. Why? Because I loved Ed deeply and Marjorie was part of Ed, so I felt it was important to try and understand and open myself up to Marjorie's world so Ed and I could continue, perhaps even enhance, our close relationship. So here we were, all dressed, ready to go. Marjorie had a cute black and white two piece outfit on with black flats. Her hair was very attractively styled, shoulder length, brown with just the right amount of curl. She had earrings, a necklace, and a ring on her very attractive long slim fingers. Her polish was a pretty burgundy and her nails were long and stylish. She was tall, slim and carried herself very ladylike. Her makeup was very well done, not like the TV shows and some books present most crossdressers and drag queens. I wore a black corduroy jumper with silver buttons and a red, soft, velvet type top with low white heels. I had on the ring Ed bought me. A lovely citrine, set with 3 diamond chips on each side within a basket weave gold design. I also wore a small set of earrings, the little round diamond lookalikes. My hair is almost shoulder length brown, and straight with just enough body and bounce. As we got in the car I was really getting nervous and I warned Marjorie that I may be very quiet. As it turned out I reacted the other way as the evening wore on.

When we arrived at Regina's the bar was pretty full. Marjorie introduced me to two of her friends, who pleasantly said hello, then we settled ourselves at a high round table close to the bar. I was really getting nervous now as I looked around and saw the interactivity of gays, cross-dressers, and drag queens. We ordered our drinks. I had a Jack & Coke and pretty much downed it. I had not eaten all day so it hit bottom pretty fast. There was one cross-dresser there who was very attractive to look at, in fact she was prettier than most average women and dressed in this sexy looking black dress, short with open shoulders. But she was loud talking and, as most bar conversation goes, distasteful and vulgar. At the table across from us there were maybe five or six gay males, and the one young gay male was really strutting his stuff and touching and laughing and posing like the common whore in a bar. Some of the other gay guys were well mannered and pleasant. After taking in the crowd and trying hard not to appear uneasy I turned my attention back to Marjorie. She was such a lady, quiet and so poised. She had her long slim legs crossed and held her drink so daintily. Her eyes were bright and she was very interested in the other attractive cross-dresser. I had never seen Ed so openly taken by someone's mere appearance before and I guess it bothered me that Marjorie was more interested in this attractive cross-dresser than me. Yet, I found it interesting to watch her interact with her friends.

We ordered dinner, I had another Jack & Coke, and again drank it almost straight down. As we waited for our order, Marjorie went up to the bar at my encouragement to mingle. I watched her as she stood between one male gay and one black cross-dresser. She had one leg up just a little, and her shoe was kind of dangling off and on with her arm around the black cross-dresser. She was talking and laughing in a low voice and she really seemed to enjoy being part of this crowd. I was getting angry as I sat there. I thought how I had worked hard to try and drop a few pounds, spent money on the cute jumper I really could not afford, and here I was, sitting alone at a table, in a bar with gays, trans, and drag queens. Ed was nonexistent and Marjorie was having a great time without me, was not even interested in me. Then I noticed two or three guys trying to figure out if I was a woman, a trans, or a cross-dresser. This made me angry because I am what God made me to be, "A WOMAN." I just have this damn shadow on my face that I cannot do anything about. Marjorie came back to the table when they brought our pasta order and as we were eating, after ordering another Jack & Coke, we began to engage in a conversation. "This is what turns you on! You enjoy being part of a crowd better than a one on one relationship, don't you?!"

"Yes Linda I do." "Marjorie you would rather be a part of a bullshit crowd with people who really don't give a damn about you as a person -- they're just bullshitting -- than have a one on one relationship with someone who really loves you. There is nothing more rewarding or beautiful than a one on one relationship with someone you love and loves you, where you share everything and do everything together. To hold, to sleep with, to love." As I sat there looking at Marjorie, I just couldn't understand. I reached over and pulled at her wig playfully and without realizing it shook her a little and said, "What's wrong with Ed?! He's a wonderful person!" This bothered Marjorie as I said it loudly although I did not realize this until the next evening when we discussed my reaction. I encouraged Marjorie to go back up to the bar as I could tell that's where she really wanted to be, ordered another Jack & Coke and watched Marjorie, shaking my head, trying to understand. Finally, Marjorie came back to the table and asked if I'd like to meet her two friends, the one gay fellow and the black cross-dresser. I said sure. They were very nice and gave a warm hello. Then we left Regina's and went window shopping a little bit then we went home and I was glad to have my Ed back as we snuggled down in bed for the night.

The next evening we talked over the eventful night at Regina's. That's when I learned my behavior was a little loud and that I shook Marjorie when I was playing with her hair. Now Ed's not one to get real angry, but he was upset because I got loud and at first he could not understand my reaction. What I found strange was my loudness bothered him. The pretty cross-dresser's loudness turned her on. Then I explained how I felt Marjorie was taking Ed away from me and I did not want to lose him. I reminded him of how he felt the first time he went out as Marjorie. Well it's no different for us straight folks the first time we go out with our loved one as their other self. We are nervous and we go through just as much of a set of emotional changes as cross-dressers themselves their first time out. So please if you're introducing your straight loved one to your world of cross-dressers, gays and drag queens, be patient. Do not be offended; we just have to work our way through this new world the same as you did.

I believe in being honest, and open, so I was with my Ed and Marjorie. I love Ed very much, I find Marjorie very much a lady and I will respect her as she is. Truthfully, I prefer my Ed, but I am willing to share him with Marjorie. I read all I can about trans and cross-dressers. I talk openly with my Ed and I hope to find a way we can continue to love each other, respect each other's lifestyle and not lose the very special relationship we have.


Behind Green Eyes.......By Mikey "The Puss" Casebeer

...'Cause Anne Was Too Damn Lazy To Write This Month

So, where's Anne this month? Her alter-ego is always doing something other than cleaning my litter box, giving me my 9 Lives, or stroking my belly, the useless slob. She's probably out cutting the grass, changing the oil in the van, or renting porno movies to Religious Reich yahoos, who knows? Who cares? You have me, after all, so please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a beast of wealth and taste. I'm Mikey, the intelligent and sarcastic feline that allows that nonpassable slob Anne Casebeer to clean my litter box. Looks? I'm a hell of a lot better looking than that ugly bozo (if you ever saw that thing in male mode, you'd know why transgenderism exists). I'm in 16-bit grayscale with stripes, postop (had my orchiectomy performed at Jefferson Hospital by Dr. Nightingale in 1990), and I'm blessed with a body that looks absolutely divine in elegant fur coats. Behind my demure little feminine voice, you will find the manners of a rattlesnake - just ask Marj, RuthAnn, Erica, or Bonnie, to whom I have rudely shown my hissing disapproval, and I got back at that damned trollop by peeing on her Patricia Ireland book. Dawn, oh gosh, she just won't take any of my crap. Anyway, I will claw, scratch, and bite if necessary to get what I want, give constant dirty looks, and if all else fails, I will even pee on your dirty laundry. I demand to be feted with only the finest Jackleg salmon, Atlantic Ave. whitefish, Prudhoe Bay crabmeat, and Gulf (Oil) shrimp; I sleep all day, party all night, I require my coif to be carefully groomed daily, I never lower myself to being seen publicly with other lesser cats, and I do my level best to obstruct the path of anyone who dares to ignore me. In short, I'm definitely transgendered.

Now, I've been watching Anne, and I think I have enough experience at mouse abuse to do this thing. It's really nothing, even a dumb human being knows what's on tap for this month already, it has to be the "You're Going To The Southern Comfort Conference With The Rest Of Us Cool Cats" issue. That's right boys and girls, we want YOU to join us in Atlanta on September 30. A threat? Well, no, but Anne, that useless transgendered jerk, decided that all of you who don't go should be punished. At least, I'm going to blame it on her. The type of punishment to be inflicted was a difficult decision, knowing that many in the group actually enjoy punishment, but we decided that only one disciplinary method would do. Yes, the guilty will have to deal with me. In fact, I'll attack the ankles of anyone in the group who does not decide to go. I wonder if the mice and groundhogs I've tortured enjoyed it? I don't think so.....

Along with Anne, that stout-guzzling pig, I'll be joining the mob that will undoubtedly cause traffic jams on I-75 in Atlanta. Of course, as always, she's managed to overschedule herself, but if I know her, she'll probably make it somehow. Anyway, back to the Southern Comfort Conference, and why you know you ought to be there (other than the claws in my contract that you will be subject to, my little pretties...). First of all, you're (disclaimer added at the request of the editor) almost guaranteed a good time. Do you want to party? I think that can be arranged, dears. Aiming towards transitioning, RLT, HRT, or SRS? You can talk to the doctors and professionals who can help you make that happen. Are you a ham? You can join Anne in making a fool of herself, something she's really good at doing, at the talent show Friday night. If you just like meeting cool people, that's on a lot of people's agendas - personally, I'm looking forward to attacking their dragging skirt hems as they walk by me. The shopping in Atlanta is marvelous, they even have a SuperPetz store, and major malls are just a few steps from the hotel. It has even been reported that reprehensibles, oops, representatives of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) will be giving a presentation. I just can't imagine how HRC figures that TG people aren't human when it comes to employment rights, and I know that Anne can't wait to let them know exactly what she thinks; I think I'll just meow and scratch their eyes out when they aren't looking. Hey, I'd really like the right to choose my owner, but d'ya think they'd help ME get my rights? No way. I'm just a lazy kitty, but if HRC doesn't wake up and become inclusive of all oppressed people in their campaign, they might prove to be as unworthy of human support as the Christian Coalition.

Of course, the threat of having me sic'd on you is an idle one. I just get tired of all those people wanting to stroke my fur, and I'd be scared that some redneck crossdresser would skin me to get a free stole. That does not mean you should be scared. Before you dismiss SCC out of hand, ask yourself why you can't make it. This is an experience that any transgendered person can and should have, whether you dress at the meeting place and change back afterwards, live 24/7 in your preferred gender, have completed SRS, or care about someone who is TG. Attending a gender conference, according to Anne, is a life-altering experience, and SCC is the best one of the year, with a variety of attendees that will guarantee that you meet people with wide perspectives on life and their place in the TG community. So, can I count on you to go? I'll be there, sitting on the bar next to the overweight Guinness-swilling trannie. I'll be the ravishingly lovely grey striped furry creature enjoying a dish of fine Kentucky homegrown 'nip. I'll just sit there on the bar or table, give offhand dirty looks to anyone who won't give me my unfair share of stroking, and claw anyone who tries to talk to me as if I were a baby human or a purple dinosaur. Gimme a break, I'm a cat, not a stupid dinosaur or inept infant human! Show some respect. And, as diverse as Southern Comfort is, I expect that I won't be the only transgendered feline who attends. I've been trying to convince Tabitha, Jenn's girl kitty, to sneak along, because I've been trading email with her while our humans are working and she seems cute. Maybe she'll go with me to the Chamber, where we can claw each other a bit, and use the human-o'nine tails on each other? Now, that could be fun.... But, just consider the psychic damage we'll do to the maids when they come to clean Anne's hotel room, and find 4 matching black 3" stilettos in size .5ZZ.....


Totally......By Angela Bridgman

A Family After All

Since everyone else will be writing about Southern Comfort, I thought I would leave that job to others, although I must admit I am very excited to be going to my first gender convention! Instead, I thought I'd cover some old news, some new news, and a few other things. Working full-time, and going to school is very tough, but well worth it, at least so far....if I could only get some sleep!

I've gotten a new car; a Mazda 323, 1987 model, with only 80,000 miles on it, and paid only $2500 for it. My cousin Jannette, visited me here in Louisville, in July. She is the first family member of mine to see me as Angela (except, of course for all those times I got caught!) She also was, I thought, the only flesh and blood family I had left. I believed my biological sperm donor when he told me that the rest of the Bridgman family was embarrassed of me, and wanted nothing to do with me.

I have since found out that he was lying to me. By believing him instead of checking it out for myself I deprived myself of a year and a half of communication with my family. Now, I don't think anyone in my family is ecstatic about the fact that I'm transsexual, but, except for my "parents", none seems to have a real problem with it.

I found this out, because my biological sperm donor sent me another of his famous guilt-trips. My biological sperm donor has always been good at laying them. He wrote to inform me that a family member had passed on, and that by the time I read the note, it would be too late, there would be nothing I could do. He added that he "hoped I would be very happy and proud."

For the first time since Mother's Day, and the last time ever, I called my "parents", to find out who had passed away. Instead of telling me, they began to harass me and pick a fight. As usual, my conversation with them ended up as an argument, and I hung up on them. I decided to try calling my uncle (my biological sperm donor's brother), to find out who had passed. I found out it was my great aunt, whom I had not seen, or heard from, in over ten years.

At first, my uncle didn't know who I was. I then told him the name he would remember me by, and what was going on in my life. He already knew about my transsexual status, but had no idea I'd moved to Louisville. While he did refer to me in male pronouns, he seemed to be perfectly amenable to keeping in contact. I told him I'd prefer to be addressed as Angela, and as a female, however, if he was more comfortable the other way, then that would be okay, too. He told me I could call any time, and gave me contact information I'd lost on my three Bridgman cousins.

I've gotten in touch with all of them. Karen, the middle child had absolutely no problems whatsoever in talking with me, or referring to me in my preferred gender. It turns out that she lives in Columbus, Ohio, so I know who I'm going to visit next time I'm up that way! She and I discussed the possibility of coming up to Columbus for Thanksgiving.

Paul, the oldest was the one I thought would be least likely to accept me. I turned out wrong. It turned out that he hadn't even spoken to my father for over three years, and had no idea about my transsexual status, nor of the fact that I had moved. His reaction to the news was anything other than what I'd expected. He just said, "I live in the big city, nothing shocks me." His wife, Ruth, remembered seeing me at my grandmother's funeral, and remembered the eulogy I'd given for her, and how beautiful it had been. As soon as I told her about my transsexual status, she made a connection no one else had....why I had such long fingernails at the funeral. My brother and Paul had been after me to cut them, and I wouldn't do it. The nails were so long they broke holes in the fingers of the pallbearer gloves I was wearing. She just said that she now understood the long nails, and that she worked in a restaurant; many of her customers were transgendered, and they were among her best customers. (She even knew the "TG" word!) Ruth and I actually had a nice, long conversation about what I am going through, and she was very open and sympathetic.

Kelly, the youngest, also does not have any problem with it. Like all of my family, she is not necessarily thrilled about it, but has no problem dealing with it, and accepting it, and making me a part of her family. She told me that whatever made me happy she was in favor of. She also told me that from her own recollection my father had been very hard on me. It seems I'm not the only one who remembers the hell my "parents" put me through!

You may wonder why I'm telling you all this. The important message to all of you is to never believe that your whole family is against you, just because one who does not agree with your "lifestyle" tells you so. Because I believed it, I deprived myself of family contact for a year and a half....I'm just glad I didn't deprive myself for life!


1999 IFGE Convention Canceled

The IFGE convention planned for Orlando, Florida in the spring of 1999 has been canceled.

According to executive director Nancy Nangeroni, "The reasons for the cancellation are many, and force this decision on me. I regret the change this makes to what many members of our community, and particularly IFGE's supporters, view as an important recurring event. More often than not the IFGE 'Coming Together' convention has served to widen acceptance for members of our community in the host city, and it has been a powerful force in many people's lives. I do not make this decision lightly. Unfortunately, IFGE has repeatedly proven itself incapable of running a convention that is consistently successful financially, logistically, and -- most important for it's continued health -- emotionally for it's organizers. Moreover, there is currently nobody with the know-how, experience, desire, willingness and commitment to run this convention without undue risk of another deficit for IFGE. Meanwhile, the Southern Comfort and other conventions continue to be run capably and to provide a forum, while not the same as what IFGE has provided, certainly covering the bulk of the need not better served elsewhere. At the same time, I believe IFGE's constituency is better served by a focus within the organization on improving delivery of a more limited set of services, rather than by trying to be everything to everybody. Over the last 10 months, we have instituted many changes here in Waltham, some of which you may see reflected in the increasingly fascinating pages of Transgender TAPESTRY magazine, which is reinstituting itself as the leading print forum for reasoned discourse in our community, moving into a larger role within a rapidly expanding community. We've also seen improvement in our bookstore, which is now the most well stocked on the subject, with timely service and a growing reputation as a good place to shop. Our web site is fast becoming a leading resource on the internet, though there are quite a few very good sites out there, and we cannot claim to have outdone some. We do, however, have a trans news and announcements archive, extensive and thorough book descriptions, community calendar, and much more. But IFGE needs to do more, and postponing for a year the extensive effort that goes into planning and running a convention will afford us the opportunity to find further ways to improve on the quality of the services we provide to our community. Our apologies to the good people in Orlando who were looking forward to our visit, and we will hope to gather there another year."

TG Forum