BGB BelleView August 1998

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With No Apologies.....By Dawn Wilson

We Are Not Alone

Early in July, I received word that TS activist JoAnn McNamara had died. Worse yet, she took her own life. This not only saddened me, but drove home a point I have been making over the years. A point I even have to remind myself of: Hope is not a 4 letter word. Because of my upbringing and my own personal religious experiences, I do not condone suicide. Although I have been close to and over many breaking points, Iwould not and could not take my own life. In Romans 5, Paul wrote that "suffering leads to perseverence which leads to strength which defines character, which emboldens one's faith to carry one.@ This is hope.

Somehow she lost faith, and I can understand how. At that same time, I was pushed past a breaking point. Because of the proven lies of a past landlord, I lost my home, my S.O., 5 contracts, my car and some dignity. All because I was black. Not TG. Not Gay. Not poor. BLACK. If anyone ever had a reason to commit suicide I would have been a prime candidate. But as King David learned and Jesus taught, "That which your enemies meant for evil, I will turn to good for the glory of the father." Although things are going to be rough for a while, I will survive and prosper. I felt sorrow for Joanne, with no family or anything to substitute for that, she must have felt alone. No TS or TG should ever feel that way. That is why I don't woodwork. No one is an Island.....No one.

Expect All Things From Above

...but it sounds more impressive in the original Latin! The tag comes from my Family Crest, a lineage that goes back to Kings and Queens of Mali with a detour through Charles the V of Spain. The last few weeks have been, can we say, interesting? Nomatter how low I go, I still have that which I was raised on: the Word of God! As the family motto goes, "EXPECT ALL THINGS FROM ABOVE" of course it goes on to say ",That which you do not gain in negotiation, take by force of arms." Sounds scary doesn't it. Well that is what happens

when you mate a Northern African Princess to a Spanish Hapsburg! Bad Business.

The survival instincts go with the territory, along with the temper. (We used to slaughter Europeans on a regular basis) Now combine that with a religious zeal and you have the basis of a Wilson. Now what does this have to do with Transgenderism; a lot. Because of the ignorance, prejudice and hatred of others combined with our own adult shortcomings, we tend to take our rage out on people who don't deserve it. Over the past few years, Ihave witnessed HRC and others in the GLB community tell transgendered people that their money was wanted, but their presence was not. It didn't matter that we had been there first, we were still told to get to the back of the bus! For some this led to some serious problems, others ran away and hid, and the rest stayed and fought. The answer is to become involved in the community, not just in GLBT causes, but in the community at large. To become a visible force for good, and to make a difference. But enough of this.

On July 8, I was able to practice what I preach, more so than ever. As I have told you in the past the BGB/It=s Time, Ky., is not only involved in so called TG politics, but serious community outreach as well. We have TSs who teach at boys and girls clubs, trollops who belong to NOW and who regularly visit patients in nursing homes, and CDs actively collecting for Pediatric AIDS.

I am serving my second term on the board of the Robert H Williams Cultural Center which serves an economically depressed area of the city of Lexington. July 8, the Robert H Williams Cultural Center was the lead story on the ABC affiliate WTVQ in Lexington, beating out a bank robbery. The story focused on the Computer Stars Program and the classes being taught there. Apart from a few honor students ( yes your honor , no your honor) posing as instructors, things went very smoothly. I participated in the interview, along with Brad, Alex and Ben from RHWCC. My TS comment was edited out (boo!), but the center, TSs, and the community were shown in a positive light. This is important. Since we are doing sign up through churches, I am asking everyone who lives in Lexington to get people signed up for the next set of classes which will be taught in September.

I become very disturbed when I see and hear about TSs that want what they have not left the woodwork to earn. Equally galling are those Aout@ brothers and sister whose bad behavior seems to be tolerated as a badge of honor. It gets us nowhere.... Fast.

In The Court

Also in July, the Investiture Ceremony for the Royal Sovereign Imperial Court of All Kentucky was held in Lexington. It was my first, and will not be my last. I would like to extend my thanks to HMRSIM John Moses, Emperor 17 of all Kentucky; and HMRSIM Mika Milano, Empress 17 of all Kentucky, for the Royal Decree of Honorary Lineage. This decree names me as The Emperor's Activist for Human Rights 17. It is an honor that I will cherish. Also, Marjorie Demaille was invested Princess to the Emperor. She has acted as BGB=s representative to the Court for the past year and a half. These are great honors that reflect the work and visibility of the group. On behalf of BGB, I wish to thank the Court for all it's help and recognition, and we look forward to working with it in the future.

In closing, I thank all of you, for without you, I would be nothing. As the song goes, AThis is how we do it!@

Trans Across America

Watch out, Pat Buchanan. Ridiculed for years, "transgenders" are emerging as the newest group to demand equality

By John Cloud

When James Madison was urging his young nation to refrain "from oppressing the minority," he was talking about "other sects," not other sexes. Shannon Ware, an engineer from St. Louis, Mo., who began life as Craig Ware but now lives as a woman, would grant that much. But since a high school civics teacher inspired her, she has clung to the belief that social change is possible, that America is elastic enough to accommodate all minority groups--even when the minority is as caricatured and misunderstood as hers.

Ware is "transgendered," which means her mental gender--her deepest awareness of her identity doesn't correspond to the parts she was born with. Though she has become an activist in the past year or so, Ware struggled with these feelings for years. Now, at 45, she is happy with her inner and outward selves, the latter feminized with hormones and women's clothes. Ware isn't yet "transsexual," but she does plan to undergo what doctors call "sex-reassignment surgery" when she and her beau David can afford it; it will cost about as much as their new Nissan.

Since transsexuals burst on the scene in the 1950s, when a G.I. went from George to Christine Jorgensen, journalists have periodically revisited the subject in tones varying from the dryly medical to the hotly sensational. But today many forms of gender nonconformity have actually become mainstream. In the past five years, several movies, plays, tabloid shows and famous cross-dressers like RuPaul have moved drag from the fringes of gay culture to prime time. Even Teletubbies, a show for toddlers, features Tinky Winky, a boy who carries a red patent-leather purse. Less noticed, however, is that gender nonconformists have been working together, with some remarkable successes, to build a political movement. Their first step was to reclaim the power to name themselves: transgender is now the term most widely used, and it encompasses everyone from cross-dressers (those who dress in clothes of the opposite sex) to transsexuals (those who surgically "correct" their genitals to match their "real" gender). No one knows how many transgendered people exist, but at least 25,000 Americans have undergone sex-reassignment surgery, and the dozen or so North American doctors who perform it have long waiting lists. Psychologists say "gender-identity disorder" occurs in at least 2% of children; they experience discomfort with their assigned gender and may experiment with gender roles. Some of these people turn out to be gay; most don't. The overlapping permutations of gender and sexuality can get baffling, which is why transgender activist Riki Anne Wilchins simply declared "the end of gender" in her recent book, Read My Lips. Wilchins believes that male-female divisions force constructed social roles on all of us and create a class of the "gender oppressed"--not only transgenders but also feminine men, butch women, lesbians and gays, "intersexed" people (hermaphrodites) and even people with "alternative sexual practices." (Marv Albert, meet your leader.) In the early '90s, transgenders started forming political groups, mostly street-level organizations, which picketed the American Psychiatric Association, for instance, for using the gender-identity-disorder diagnosis. Previously, transgenders appeared as figures in the early gay-liberation movement: it was cross-dressing men--their "hair in curls," as they chanted--who threw the first rocks in the 1969 Stonewall riots in New York City's Greenwich Village. But as the gay movement went mainstream, it jettisoned transgenders as too off-putting. Transgenders faced practical obstacles to organizing themselves separately. Most couldn't simply dress as a member of the opposite sex without getting beaten or fired. Many felt pressured to undergo expensive genital and cosmetic operations, which doctors wouldn't perform unless the patients also underwent years of psychiatric treatment. After the surgery, some had to move to find a new job and start a new life. Political organizing was a luxury. Today medical rules are getting more relaxed. Some transgenders still elect to have full operations, but others (especially the young) express gender their own way, perhaps just with clothing or hormone treatments or with partial surgery. Increasingly, they simply refuse to discuss their private parts. "What's important is hate crimes and job discrimination," says Shannon Minter, a female-to-male transgender and civil rights lawyer. "Why does everyone want to talk about my genitals?"

Governments and employers are starting to listen. Although just one state, Minnesota, has a law protecting transgenders from job and housing discrimination, cities all over the country (including San Francisco, of course, but alsoSeattle and, as of last year, Evanston, Ill.) have passed similar legislation. Recently the California assembly approved a bill to increase penalties for those who commit crimes against transgenders; the bill awaits senate approval. Lawyers with the Transgender Law Conference have helped pass statutes in at least 17 states allowing transsexuals to change the sex designation on their birth certificate, which means their driver's license and passport can reflect reality. (One unintended consequence: legal marriages between people who have become the same sex.) In Missouri, the house judiciary committee met in March to discuss the state's first civil rights bill to include "sexual orientation"--defined to include gender "self-image or identity." Illinois and Pennsylvania considered similar bills. None passed, but "we were happy to get the issue out there," says activist Ware. Many transgenders are furious that the biggest gay lobbying group in the U.S., the Human Rights Campaign, opposes adding transgenders to the Employment Nondiscrimination Act, a gay job-protection bill that has been pending in Congress since 1994. But the Campaign is coming around. Last year it helped arrange a meeting between transgender activists and Justice Department officials to discuss anti-trans violence (a 1997 survey of transgenders found that 60% had been assaulted). The Campaign is also lobbying for a bill that would give U.S. district attorneys the authority to handle state crimes involving bias against "real or perceived ... gender." Transgenders have their own D.C. presence, GenderPAC. It sponsored its third Lobby Day on Capitol Hill in April, when more than 100 transgenders met members of Congress. A state-focused group called It's Time America! has chapters in half the states. And of course, transgenders are talking about staging a march on Washington--de rigueur for any minority going mainstream. Businesses are paying attention. Computer firm Lucent Technologies has added "gender-identity characteristics or expression" to its equal-opportunity policy. The University of Iowa has similar language, and in February, Rutgers adopted more limited protections for "people who have changed or are in the process of changing" their sex. Last year Harvard allowed an incoming

female-to-male freshman to live on a male dorm floor. Campus groups have asked the college to formally protect transgenders, but Harvard being Harvard, the university is studying the issue. Transgenders are pushing ahead in the courts as well. In a little-noticed but groundbreaking case last year, a Minnesota male-to-female transsexual won Social Security "widow's benefits" following her husband's death in 1995. The Social Security Administration declined to grant them at first but reversed itself after the woman appealed, with the A.C.L.U.'s help.

The most important victories are often won outside the public arena. A littleover a year ago, Shannon Ware was the host of a constituent meet-and-greet for her state representative. Over coffee and snacks, Ware introduced Representative Patrick Dougherty, a moderate Democrat and devout Roman Catholic, to several transgenders. He was set to consider legislation that would make it difficult for transsexuals to gain even partial custody of their children after a divorce. For Ware, it wasn't an academic issue. She was once married and has a daughter, Elizabeth. Though the 13-year-old and her mom have been "totally cool" about her transition from Craig to Shannon, Ware knew others weren't as lucky as she was. Another Missourian, Sharon (ne Daniel), has fought her ex-wife for six years for the right simply to visit her two boys. The low-key meeting at Ware's house worked. Dougherty istened as she and several others told their stories. Some had lost jobs, some had been rejected by family, all felt battered by a society that insists that biology is destiny. Dougherty left seeing no reason to attack these folks with a new law. A few days later, he quietly let the legislation die in his committee.

Time, 6-20-98

 

House Vote Expected On Policy Protecting Gay Federal Employees

by Lou Chibbaro Jr.

Four Republican members of the House of Representatives last week announced plans to overturn President ClintonÆs May 28 executive order banning anti-Gay discrimination against civilian employees of the federal government. The House members, led by Rep. Joel Hefley (R-Colo.), said they will introduce an amendment to an appropriations bill prohibiting the expenditure of any funds to "implement, administer, or enforce" the Clinton order, known as Executive Order 13087. Among those joining Hefley in backing the proposed amendment is Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas), the House Majority Whip. ClintonÆs order added "sexual orientation" to an existing executive order that bars discrimination against federal workers on grounds of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disabilities, and age. Experts in government employment policy said ClintonÆs order strengthened and provided a more coordinated approach for enforcing existing anti-discrimination protection for civilian Gay federal workers. The existing protections for Gay federal workers had been put in place by past court rulings and civil service rules as well as by a separate policy directive that Clinton issued in 1994.

The White House and the House Democratic leader, Rep. Richard Gephardt (D-Mo.), vowed to strongly oppose the Hefley amendment. Hefley announced in a June 24 letter to all members of the House that he will seek to attach his amendment to a Department of the Treasury-U.S. Postal Service appropriations bill for fiscal year 1999. The bill is scheduled for a vote on the House floor the week of July 13, when Congress returns from its July 4th recess. Others announcing their support for the Hefley amendment, in addition to DeLay, were Reps. Robert Aderholt (R-Ala.) and John Hostettler (R-Ind.). DeLayÆs support for the amendment drew the attention of many lawmakers because, as a key House Republican leader, his support means the measure is likely to receive backing from other GOP leaders, including House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.). GingrichÆs office did not return a call this week seeking to determine his position on the amendment. In his June 24 letter, Hefley said the Clinton executive order gave "homosexuals special status as a protected class throughout the federal government...While we do not support discrimination," Hefley stated in his letter, "we also do not believe in giving special protected status because of sexual orientation or for most other reasons." Hefley added that the executive order would likely affect some private sector employees. Hefley said private contractors and local and state governments "are generally required to comply with federal non-discrimination policies" as a condition for receiving federal grants. Richard Socarides, a special assistant to Clinton and the White House liaison to the Gay community, disputed Hefley=s assertion, saying the executive order will have no effect on employment practices of private or state and local employers. Socarides characterized as "ridiculous" Hefley=s assertion that the order would afford Gays "special status" and a "protected class" in the government. In a statement accompanying his executive order, Clinton said the order "cannot create any new enforcement rights" related to Gay discrimination cases because Gays are not covered under U.S. civil rights laws. The presidentÆs order itself states that its scope is limited to "the extent permitted by law." Gephardt, the House Democratic leader, called the Hefley amendment a "mean spirited attack on Gay and Lesbian Americans." "The executive order they seek to undo ensures equality and fairness through our federal government," said Gephardt. "It does not create special privileges as they allege." Also opposing the Hefley amendment is openly Gay Rep. Jim Kolbe (R-Ariz.), thc chair of the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Treasury, Postal Service, and General Government. Because his subcommittee is overseeing the Treasury- Postal Service appropriations bill, Kolbe will be the designated floor manager of the bill at the time Hefley introduces his amendment. Kevin Ivers, a spokesperson for Log Cabin Republicans, a national Gay Republican group, said he believes most, if not all, moderate Republicans and a number of conservative Republicans will vote against the Hefley amendment. Since Republicans outnumber Democrats in the House by just eleven members, opponents of the Hefley amendment will be able to defeat the measure if all or most Democrats vote against it and a block of moderate and conservative Republicans join them. "I feel we have more than eleven Republicans who will vote no," said Ivers. "There will be a lot of tests here on both sides of the isle. Will the Democrats and the Republican moderates stand firm against this?" Daniel McGlinchey, interim executive director of the National Stonewall Democratic Federation, a group representing Gay Democrats, predicted there will be "solid Democratic opposition" to the Hefley Amendment. McGlinchey, who works on the staff of openly Gay Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), said the vote will likely be close, noting that House Speaker Gingrich has recently clamped down on House Republicans who have strayed from key positions handed down by the House GOP leadership.

The Human Rights Campaign, the nation=s largest Gay civil rights group, called the proposed amendment part of an "unprecedented wave of attacks" by prominent Republicans against Gays during the past three weeks. HRC cited recent verbal attacks against Gays by several possible GOP presidential candidates, comments by an official with the Texas Republican Party comparing Gay activists to Ku Klux Klan members, and remarks by Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.), who equated homosexuality with alcoholics and kleptomaniacs. "Enough is enough," said HRC Political Director Winnie Stachelberg. "Will it take an incident where someone is hurt or killed for the GOP leadership to realize their incendiary rhetoric leads to discrimination and other severe consequences?"

1998 The Washington Blade Inc.

Editor=s Note: The Hefley Amendment was passed in the House. All Ky. Representatives voted for it. Indiana Representatives voted along party lines, with the Republicans voting for it, and the Democrats voting against it. Remember these votes when you go to the polls on Election Day. Are you registered to vote? - Anne

 

Our Time In Eden.......By Anne Casebeer

Who=s To Blame? Why Not Look In The Mirror?

With some anguish, I=ve read many articles lately that note shrinkage of attendance to TG support groups, and most of those have placed the blame squarely on the Internet. In my opinion, those who wish to blame the shrinkage of their groups on the Internet need to look at the way they use it. Whether you like the Web or not, one of the first things you simply have to do when starting or maintaining a TG group is to go online. If you don=t, you might as well not bother starting your group at all, given the fact that so many TG people are out there on the Web. Blaming the Internet for the downfall of the TG support group is the lament of those who don=t use it well.

Internet access was the tool that I used to come out. The first thing I did when my computer was refitted to provide Internet access was to look up Acrossdress@ and Atransgender@ in Yahoo, which still seems to be the most effective search engine. At that time, I had over 100 applicable pages to refer to. Today, you=d be hard-pressed to keep that search under 1000. Finding the Tennessee Vals was easy. The Vals were one of the top 10 sites screened by Yahoo, and is one of the most complete TG sites on the Web - Jennileigh Love does one heck of a great job on it, and I steal code from her often when trying to deal with web pages. It=s a big reason why the Vals are growing in a time when other groups comment about shrinkage. After starting BGB, we copied the Vals= web site within days of having our first meeting, within the limits of my ability to do such things, with similar effects B many of our members have arrived via our webpage.

Marisa Richmond has written in her column for the Tennessee Vals= repeatedly about her feeling that personal contact is needed, something the Internet does not provide. ETVC, among others, has run articles in their newsletter that blames Achat rooms@ on the decrease in attendance to their group. I completely agree with Marisa=s position, although I do recognize that online chat has a place. AChat rooms@ are simply another step in the coming out process B a means to establish some contact with other transgendered people, and perhaps share advice. They fit into the whole process of Acoming out@ somewhere between the point at which we discover the word Atransgender@ and realize it applies to us, and walking out the front door in a dress and makeup to go to a club or support group meeting. If sitting in front of a computer in your bedroom, wearing makeup and a skimpy dress (or imagining yourself wearing same), typing into a computer and talking to people like you makes you feel more confident and helps you come to some kind of agreement with yourself, then do it. It seems to me that it would get very old, very quickly. I=ve tried chat rooms, but I don=t find it a very effective way to carry on an intelligent conversation. There are times when I=ll kill a little time that way, usually on a holiday or late night when sleep is hard to come by, but that=s rare. I knew what I was looking for when I logged on for the first time B I wanted to meet other people. It=s no secret that others aren=t quite as certain of what they are looking for as I was. Still others have problems dealing with family issues, which may keep them from coming out. For that person, maybe some time spent in chat rooms talking to others is time well spent on the trail to self-acceptance. Sooner or later, you=re going to want to stop letting everyone else have the real fun of actually meeting other people. When that time comes, and I bet it=ll be sooner, not later, then we=re here for you. For that reason, it=s absolutely vital that support groups have visible and vibrant online sites. I will take notice of Transgender Forum, and thank them publicly for giving free space to support groups; those of you who don=t have sites yet should look into this, because if you are on TG Forum, you will be noticed.

Those who are blaming their decrease in attendance on the Internet should look instead at a couple of other factors. How well do they use the Internet? The typical group web site these days is a single index page with a mailing address, phone number, and email address. I personally feel very strongly that every group should put some sort of abbreviated version of their newsletter on their website. The argument against that is this: why would people join the group if they can read the newsletter online? I don=t think that argument holds water. I can=t speak for anyone else, but in my case, reading the columnists in the Vals= online newsletter made me want to meet them, because I could see that I had something in common with them. I=ve found that to be true in reference to other groups, too B you can see into a person=s soul through their writings. Since the soul of any group consists of the people who attend regularly, you can see what a group=s personality is like via their newsletter columnists. That=s why I will always support placing our newsletter online - my greatest concern is for that person who is probing the Internet late at night, looking for others like us.

I also notice that the support groups who are commenting about shrinkage seem to be centered on the coasts, both West and East. All I see from the newsletters of support groups from the Midwest and Southern parts of the country is growth. I can report that BGB has grown drastically since moving to Louisville. This seems to be the case with most groups around the South and Midwest; I see it from their newsletters. Maybe this is because of the fact that many of the Midwestern and Southern groups have serious Internet presences. Maybe it=s because we have learned from the mistakes of others, and maybe it=s because transgendered people still aren=t the common sight on the streets of Louisville or Lexington that they are in San Francisco or New York. I see some of the groups in the middle of the country doing some very interesting things, events that surely keep the interest of their members. A great example of this is the Unity Banquet that the Houston TG groups pulled off last spring. Interesting activities will keep people coming to a support group, build community support, and attract new members.

I recognize that much of the problem on the coasts may be the head start they have on us. Transgendered people need the services of a group to a lesser degree as they go on in life. A TS may need the resources of a group to find supportive therapists, electrologists, lawyers, endocrinologists, and surgeons; once they=ve had SRS and woodwork themselves, they may feel that they don=t want contact with other transgendered people. A crossdresser who has been out a long time may be very confident in public, and may not feel that they need a group to maneuver in public. These people probably don=t need a group, in reality, but groups need them to teach and lead others. You have to have people who have been there and done that. To keep people who are experienced, you have to put on fun activities, tend to the support role, get active in community activities and political activism, and always come up with new ideas - a pilot refers to it as Apushing the envelope.@ I=ve heard the Ayou can=t do that, the new members aren=t ready for that yet@ argument.. When I hear that, my first thought is Abravo-sierra.@ We often overlook the confidence gained from operating in a group, and don=t take the advantage we should of that. Most of the time, the new people do just fine, thank you very much, and gain lots of confidence from being included. And, while we=re at it, don=t ever suggest to me that anyone in any support group should not be asked to an outing because they Adon=t pass@ - that is the epitome of elitism, and the complete opposite of what a support group is for. I will go out in public with anyone in this group, gladly, regardless of their passing skills B and, I mean the mall, movies, restaurants, concerts, traveling, you name it B not just the Asafe@ places. How do we expect people to gain any self-esteem or confidence if we cast them out strictly on their looks? What makes us think that we=re so damned passable ourselves, anyway? I know I get read, and frankly, m=dears, I don=t give a damn.

In short, support groups are pretty simple. You can grow or shrink, based on merit. To get stronger, you must take the hand of the new person, welcome them in with open hearts. Listen to them, because they could be slipping away B they will only stay if we have the will to keep them here, the desire to listen, and guts to implement their new ideas. You have to be listed as many places as you can be, and be as open and public as you dare to be. You must use the Internet, as a resource, not as an excuse. It is written in the bookY..

 

The Community Forum

On July 17th, I participated in the ACommunity Forum on Gender Orientation and Expression@ at the Fairness Campaign office in Louisville, along with a distinguished panel who covered the gamut of the transgendered community as it really is. Marj, Dawn, Angela, Stacey, and Terri from BGB also attended, and thank you for your help and support; also your comments, because each of you got in your licks, so to speak. I have to believe that we managed to open some eyes and gained some respect. At our June meeting, Adam Schneider noted that many members of the Fairness Campaign didn=t understand transgenderism. I have to believe that those who attended the forum now have a decent idea, and it was very pleasant to see Chester, Maria, Carla, and others from Fairness who really do Aget it.@ I also enjoyed the way that the forum was conducted; the audience was nearly as much Aon the panel@ as I was, which was just fine with me, and there was a lot of youthful energy in the room.

Ah, but there is a dark side to every silver lining (Hey, I=m a realist), and this one came from a member of the panel who will go nameless (not me). This person and their partner stated that the local MCC church=s pastor had refused to marry them, a position that raised the hackles of many of us in the room. MCC churches are supposed to be supportive of everyone, right? As it turns out, they are, and always were as supportive of the community as advertised. Angela and I met with the Rev. Dee Dale of the Louisville MCC Church on the 24th, after Angela contacted Rev. Dale earlier in the week regarding this issue. As it turned out, there was a very good ecclesiastical reason why this couple couldn=t be joined in marriage at MCC, and Rev. Dale was very willing to conduct another type of service that would signify their commitment to each other. It=s my understanding that they didn=t find that satisfactory, and made that clear in a torrent of loud invective more appropriate to a barroom brawl, soccer match, or gang fight than a place of worship.

If it is true that this person actually cursed Rev. Dale, and I feel strongly that it is, then this person owes Rev. Dale and everyone at the Fairness Forum a complete public apology in a published forum for their misrepresentation of the truth, and for the slander of Rev. Dale. I will be the first to advocate one=s right to free speech, but lying about that meeting with Rev. Dale was behavior that was way beyond forgiveness, an act that I=ve fired employees for committing on a number of occasions. A number of people at the forum were ready to lead a public protest of the MCC Church based on this person=s assertion, a protest that would have been based on a lie, and an action that would have done serious damage to the TG community=s improving relations with the Louisville GLB community. I cannot forgive or forget actions of this sort, and I wonder if it was done deliberately by that person in an effort to discredit members of our group. The whole affair also teaches us an old lesson; look before you leap, and take extra care to make certain all the facts are in before reacting to a situation. The extra time spent investigating and asking questions, the time spent making a call or 2 to check the facts, is always time well spent. Angela, despite her busy schedule, did this on her own, discovered the truth, and worked to repair the damage done. Thank Angela and the Lord for that, especially since a church was involved, because in all business dealings among responsible adults, the truth always matters, and the world expects a high level of responsibility from the clergy. I=m personally satisfied that Rev. Dale is honest and supportive, and Angela and I took the liberty of asking her to speak at an upcoming meeting. I know that not everyone in the group has strong religious beliefs, and many have beliefs that differ from Rev. Dale=s. What is important is to realize and remember that no legitimate Christian clergy, or clergy of any faith, waste breath on hatred, but there are lots of illegitimate ones. Know the difference, and don=t lump the good guys in with the bigots.

Totally....By Angela Bridgman

Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem? Simply put, self-esteem is the feeling a person has for herself. Some people have high self-esteem, meaning that they generally feel good about themselves. Others have low self-esteem, meaning that they generally do not feel good about themselves. Most people, however, fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

When people have low self-esteem, it affects them in many ways: Physically, emotionally, and mentally. When a person does not feel good about herself, it tends to have visible outward effects. A person with low self-esteem is frequently ill, tired, and depressed. A person with low self-esteem tends not to perform their duties as well as a person who has a better self-image. People with low self-esteem also tend to be loners, with few friends. People like that, especially kids, tend to be labeled as surly, uncommunicative, uncooperative, and withdrawn, when the simple truth is usually that the person in question has low self-esteem.

There are many reasons why a person might have low self-esteem, however, it is usually because a person somehow feels incomplete, or worthless. Usually, this is not caused by the way people treat another person; poor treatment is usually a reaction to low self-esteem. It can lead to a vicious cycle, in which a person feels poorly about herself, and so, is teased, causing her to feel even worse about herself, ad nauseam.

Personally, I have been on a roller-coaster of self-esteem for the past three years. Some days, I feel great; I feel like I could conquer the world. On other days, I simply want to pull the covers back over my head, and go back to sleep. Self-esteem is a very powerful emotion, one which affects us in many ways. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and how we feel about ourselves can greatly influence how we see the world and how we deal with problems; it can even effect our appetites and sleep patterns.

Because the effects of low self-esteem can be so devastating, we, as a society, should try very hard not to cause another person to feel poorly about herself. While all of us may not agree with certain lifestyles, some people need to live those lifestyles in order to feel happy and complete. Heaping guilt upon a person because of her lifestyle will only cause that person to feel poorly about herself, it will not cause her to change her lifestyle. If religions would only learn that, I think the world would be a much safer, happier, and better place.

When a person no longer feels poorly about herself; when she is no longer hiding a significant portion of her life and feelings, she tends to begin to feel better about herself. This has the effect of making her better able to perform her duties, and it also makes her a nicer person to be around. Thus, the significance of self-esteem becomes clear, and the importance of having good self-esteem is apparent.