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New This Month:

What Will the Neighbors Think?
Assumptions
Spring has sprung
We Eat Our Leaders: By Dallas Denny
News TransMissions
Transbabble

 

April 1999 - Online Edition

Upcoming Group Meetings & Events

April 10: Board Elections

May 8: Coffee House Talent Show

June 12: Discussion Circle

August 14: Cookout

September 11: TBA

October 9: Halloween Party

November 13: TBA

December 11: 7th Annual Anniversary/Holiday Party



Future Board Meetings:  April 25, May 23, June 27 (all set tentatively for the 4th Sunday of the month.  Contact the Vals for times and locations.



Tennessee Vals Special Events:

Saturday, May 15:  TVals Night at the Nashville Sounds - vs. Albequerque Dukes (with Fireworks)

Saturday, June 12: Night in White, Regal Maxwell House Hotel


Her Majesty, The Queen, Marisa The Queen's Throne
By Marisa Richmond
marisaval@aol.com

As Nashvillians begin the month of April, we obviously have two major duties ahead of us. First, we will all be keeping an eye out for tornadoes. Second, it is my sincere hope that those in the Transgendered Family will finally step up and assume more responsibility in running the Vals. That's right, it's election time again. As I have perused newsletters from other groups, I constantly see this same plea being raised. Every group has the bulk of the work done by a small fraction of that group. It does not have to--and in my opinion, should not--be that way. Of course, plenty of people think everything a support group does is free (HA!) and is just there for them to take. Well, nothing in life is free. You must be prepared to work for it. Some will always complain, no matter what others try to do, but each and every person should find some away of assuming some responsibility. We have only one board meeting and one general meeting per month, with seven (official) positions. The time demands are not great, but at least two current board members are not planning to run again. We all have other commitments in our lives, but the emotional rewards that come from meeting responsibility provide a wonderful feeling. So if you are the type to complain, it is time grow up and be an adult and get involved. That is the way the Vals and every other group in the country can continue to grow and help others.

For the second straight month, there is news of the murder of a transgendered person in Houston. This person, unidentified as I write this, was found shot to death in a motel in southeast Houston while wearing women's clothes. The indiscriminate taking of another person's life because of their perceived differences (be they transgendered, or black, as was the case when recently convicted John William King dragged James Byrd, Jr. in Jasper, Texas to his death last June) is inexcusable. While we are now using the Internet to track hate crimes against transgendered people and report them, we must never stop working to educate society about the harshness of transphobic prejudice and work to eliminate that and all other forms of bigotry. And if you have additional information you wish to add to this or any similar story, be sure to visit www.gender.org/remember/.

There is yet another story that was circulated recently about a less tragic, but equally disturbing, situation in Phoenix. The local chapter of the Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Veterans of America is being excluded from the 1999 Veterans' Day parade because they, supposedly, did not adhere to a previously unstated dress code. It seems that several marchers from various groups were not in military uniforms, but one of the members of the GLBVA was dressed "in drag": Neala Lynn Balmes, a 50 year old pre-operative transsexual. Balmes, a Vietnam Army veteran, lives full-time as a woman and was, reportedly, dressed conservatively and attempted to be inconspicuous. It is unfortunate that people who risked their lives for the cause of freedom are being denied the right to express themselves. Whether the organizers of the Phoenix march wish to acknowledge it or not, the simple fact is that many transgendered men and women have fought, and died, for what they believed was the constitutional guarantee of freedom. The transgender community has had several veterans, such as Christine Jorgenson (Army) and Dr. Renee Richards (Navy) who have served this country. The numbers of transgendered people in the military remains significant (as any support group near a military base will confirm) despite the attempts to purge good, qualified people solely of gender identity or sexual orientation. It is time that veterans groups like those in Phoenix rejected discrimination and stood up for individual freedom. But then, I guess that is not what they care about.

Another item I saw first on CNN Headline News, and subsequently on the Internet, points out the need for us to get more involved to educate the rest of society. The Health Services Commission in Oregon determined that SRS is "not effective" and, therefore, they would not provide funding for it as a medical necessity. Many within the community take from others with a 'what's in it for me?' attitude and feel as if they do not need to give back to others in any way. While the desire of many to transition and pass completely is understandable, in my view, such attitudes are selfish. Since we are (presumably) adults, we can accomplish much, but only if we are willing to work for it ourselves and not just take what is out there or wait for somebody else to give it to us. I can think of no better way to do this than to assume responsibility in your local gender group. Every group I have ever encountered is always hoping to find more people willing to help bear the burden and do the work. And it is through the local groups that we can best exchange and disseminate information to one another as well as correct misinformed people who believe SRS is "not effective."

Changing subjects...I recently watched and taped a special on E! Television about Divine (1945-88). If this was a rerun, I missed it the first time. Anyway, Divine was the most famous drag queen of the eighties and paved the way for the social acceptance of others like RuPaul. Years ago, I saw Pink Flamingoes (1973), Polyester (1981) and Hairspray (1988). I also read the biography Not Simply Divine (1993) by Divine's personal manager, Bernard Jay. Like many who are gay or transgendered, Divine was caught between the desire to be himself and the attempt to conform to society's rules. He was raised a Baptist in suburban Baltimore and was abused by others, and fell out with his parents, because of his effeminacy and weight. The story of Divine is fascinating because Divine became everything a suburban, upper middle class, white, Protestant, male was not supposed to be...and became famous and successful (although Divine was a terrible money manager and constantly flirted near bankruptcy) by living to his rules, not others'. Divine's experiences even taught his Baptist preacher the importance of tolerance (a lesson many other Baptists like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson could learn...). Many of us feel the need to conform to unrealistic standards imposed upon us. I applaud E!TV for providing a two hour look into the life of the quintessential non-conformist. Divine's life can and should inspire every little boy who ever wanted to be like Elizabeth Taylor, or for that matter, any little girl who wanted to be Tab Hunter. And if you like to eat dog feces, well, that's up to you too.

A couple of days later, I decided it was time to buy my new World Cup Barbie (hey, athletics is feminine). While I was in the toy department of my neighborhood Target store, I decided to take a quick look to see if they had any Teletubbies. Well, sure enough, they had quite a few. I grabbed a Tinky Winky and headed for the checkout counter. The clerk was a little, old, gray haired woman. As she ran the dolls through the scanner, she stopped to look at you-know-who, and what resulted was one of the most interesting exchanges I have had in a long time:

"Oh, this is that gay one. I can't believe the way some people abuse religion."

"Jerry Falwell?"

"Yeah. He is so stooopid. People like that turn other people off to religion."

"And all over a little doll."

"So he carries a purse...Who cares?!"

I couldn't have said it any better myself. And if Falwell and the Religious Reich lose gray-haired ladies in Tennessee, who do they have left?

I also hope everyone caught the recent Grammy Awards from Los Angeles. There were two moments that stand out in my mind. The first was when Sheryl Crow performed the tongue-in-cheek song "There Goes the Neighborhood" from The Globe Sessions, which won Best Rock Album. The song has a refrain that says "The Drag Queens and the Freaks are all out on the town." It is nice having part of our community acknowledged on prime-time, national television. The second was when Shania Twain sang "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!" in neo-dominatrix regalia. She almost made me want to crawl out to a record store and beg for her album....

And Talking About Bad Girls: Happy Birthday Bettie Page!


Back to Index
Dr. Love Wigged Out 
By Jennileigh Love
jlove1@ix.netcom.com

What Will the Neighbors Think?


 


Kids…what's the matter with these kids today? Sounds like a familiar rant that our parents or maybe even our grandparents said when we were younger. It wasn't that long ago when I was a kid. I remembered what it was like to spend long hours with nothing to do but play. I remember having meals made for me and my clothes laundered for me.

There are plenty of kids in my neighborhood. Many of you know I own a house in a suburb of Nashville. There are lots of kids that play around the road and around my house. Most of the ones that live here are in the pre-teen years, say maybe 11-14 years old. They do things most normal kids do. They hang out with each other. They ride their bicycles. They sneak around and smoke cigarettes. They hold the same prejudices and narrow-mindedness of some adults. Yeah, they've seen me leave the house At My Most Beautiful before.

I've lived in my house going on three years and I've not hidden my transgendered self from anyone in the neighborhood. Certainly I am discrete when leaving or entering the house and try not to be "in their face" about who I am. I will occasionally go outside the house in drag, but it's not like I'm in the backyard in a bikini sunbathing. I don't mow the yard in a sundress and a big yellow floppy hat. It really is none of my neighbors' concern how I dress, or whom I choose to associate with. I've heard some of these kids yell the occasional "Faggot!" and "Gay Boy!" at me. My favorite so far is "Hey, Mr. Gay Man!" (I thought getting a "Mr." out of them was a curious sign of respect.) As most of my gay friends do, I tend to simply ignore such expressions and look at them with a little pity.

It's easy to throw hatred back at these pre-teens because that is sort of our experience growing up. I was an awkward, feminine boy and was obviously labeled "gay" and "queer" and whatever other names are out there. I can remember how much those labels hurt me then. The knee-jerk reaction is to lash out with our own venom. However, what I've begun to understand is that these kids are in their sexual development stage. They don't quite understand their own sexuality, and GLBT people present a threat to their developing sexual orientation. Couple their raging hormones with the beliefs of their parents, which could be homophobic, and you get foul-mouthed children who yell insults every chance they get.

I've never been confronted by any adults in the neighborhood. I think they realize that I mind my own business and maintain a nice neat household. That's all that is important to them. I outed myself to one lady that lived across the street and her exact quote was "it doesn't matter who you are." That was a very progressive attitude in my opinion. One thing I've heard that keeps a lot of transgendered folks in their homes and in the closet is "What would my neighbors think, if they knew?" Well, from my experience, they may think it's odd, but they will at least mind their own business and leave you alone. That, of course, assumes that your neighbors are rational adults and not the type with a big Chevy Nova up on cinder blocks in the front yard. If you're unlucky enough to live in that sort of neighborhood, I would suggest a self defense class and discretion when leaving the house.

Conflict with children in my neighborhood is another issue. The kids are too scared of me to confront me directly, preferring the long-distance yell instead. However, in my absence, my house sometimes becomes targeted. I've had my house egged before, although you should note that the kids in the neighborhood also egg the other houses. I've had trash scattered about the yard, but so have other houses in the neighborhood. My neighbor across the street has had her car window broken and her fence destroyed, all by the same bunch of kids. I think this pack of kids and their friends are really more bored than malevolent. They tend to hit all houses with little pranks equally, so I don't think I've been targeted for being transgendered. Most of their hijinks at my house have been little annoyances and nothing permanent.

There was one exception. I came home one evening to see a bunch of trash scattered in the driveway and flowerbeds, and one shattered kitchen storm window with a brick lying in the windowpane. I immediately knew I had to do something about this before it got any worse. Who can say why they broke my window? Was it a hate crime? Was it because they thought "Mr. Gay Man" wouldn't fight back?

They were wrong.

It didn't matter why my window was targeted. The window was broken. I had been the victim of vandalism. Who cares why it was broken?

One of my neighbors saw who broke the window and we got together and called the police. Between the police officer, my neighbor the witness and some badgering of the other neighborhood kids, we figured out the two kids responsible for the broken window. One was 12 and the other 15. Of course, both denied they were anywhere near my house that day and that only made the police officer angry. Both kids were cited to appear in juvenile court and answer to a judge why they decided my kitchen window was a brick target for them. I got my window fixed and paid for. I got an apology from the kid who actually threw the brick, AND his mother, and assurance that he would never come near my house again. I even made the police aware that I was transgendered and that I hoped that I wasn't targeted for this reason.

My lesson from this incident is that kids in my neighborhood are on the mean side, but no meaner than kids were when I was growing up. Also, a good neighbor doesn't care who you are as long as you're friendly and you maintain a nice home.

Last year on my birthday, I did a little "show of power" in front of the neighborhood inviting a bunch of people over for a party. I had a mob of people at my house and many were crossdressers and my gay friends. We used my nice patio in the back yard and literally showed all we were to the neighbors. It was a great party, and I think a lot of the neighbors, including their kids, realized that I was not alone and there were lots of people like me out there. It also goes to show you that money can buy you the freedom to be eccentric. My house gives me my own plot of soil in Nashville. What occurs there is my own business and as long as everything is legal, it is protected by law. If I want to invite a gaggle of queer people over for a big party, as long as we're not being disruptive, the neighbors don't have any say in what I can do.

Until next month folks, let's keep those little brats under control and to heck with what the neighbors think of you.

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Left Arrow Left of Center 
By Pamela DeGroff

I hate it when someone "assumes" they know all there is to know about me. It's always bothered

me when I say something during a discussion with someone, only to have them retort, "Oh, you don't really mean that." It's at that point that I can't resist turning the "discussion" into an argument by countering, "The hell I don't. If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't say it in the first place."

Sit back and get comfortable, because this is going to be one of those times when I feel compelled to address something of a serious nature, rather than write a humorous article. In this case, I'd like to look at some of the assumptions people make concerning TG individuals, and some of the pre-conceived ideas we, as transgendered people, manage to come up with ourselves.

Anyone who has been part of the transgendered community, for any length of time, has had to contend with the uninitiated thinking that any guy who'll want to wear a dress is obviously: 1.gay; 2. a drag queen; 3.wants to be a woman; or 4. wants to be a woman so bad they must be getting ready to have surgery. ("When ya gonna get it cut off?") I've had to deal with all the above mentioned nonsense at one time or another. If you're newly out of the closet and haven't encountered this type of ignorance yet, don't worry, it will find you. No doubt, our FTM brothers experience a similar version of this on their end of things. I could spend time here naming off the reasons the above mentioned assumptions are woefully wrong when applied to the majority of transgendered people, but I don't wish to insult anyone's intelligence. We know what we're talking about when we confront these ideas. The real work needs to be done in educating the public, aside from the Jerry Springer Sideshows, as to what our concerns are as people.

However, as I said earlier, a lot of transgendered people are guilty of making wrong assumptions, too. What's sometimes called the "If-you-ain't-TS-you-ain't-shit" phenomenon, seems to have an adherent in every support group, everywhere in the country. On a persona= l level, I've met other TG's who swear that there can be no such thing a heterosexual cross dresser. All I can say to that is: Bullshit. I am one. And I know of several more. What really offends me sometimes is the inability of some in our community to differentiate between being Transsexual and Transgendered. Haven't we been doing this long enough now for this information to finally be assimilated?

One thing I also would like to point out is that being considered TG does not automatically carry with it the desire to dress at every given opportunity. I am transgendered whether or not I am wearing any feminine attire. My job does not allow me do dress. All of my social contacts outside of the community are not comfortable with it either. And quite honestly, there are times when I really do enjoy being a guy. However, I don't feel that makes me any less TG than anyone else. It's simply my choice.

I have been told that I should consider myself a "role model" for younger TG's who are just coming out. Once again- Bullshit. I don't want the responsibility. If anyone can glean a little knowledge, guidance, or better outlook because of my sense of humor, then fine. I'm pleased to be able to offer this, such as it is. However, I personally feel that someone just coming out should never model themselves and their perspective on being TG after any one given individual. With the wealth of knowledge available now, more than when I cam out, that would be the worst thing anyone could do.

I recently had a personal lesson concerning assumptions when I performed at Mid Winter's Night. My girlfriend, Cheryl, went with me. She wore this really nice leather dress, (she won't even let me try it on!), and I thought she looked great in it. However, a leather anything tends to ride up when you sit down. She also had a bit of trouble with the structural integrity of the top of the garment. I.E.-she was falling out of it. So basically, this knee length dress turned into the equivalent of an 18 inch strip of expensive cow hide. Plus, Cheryl only wears stockings, not hose.

"Why are all these women staring at me?" she asked.

"...Uh, well, dear. It's like this...they're all lesbians."

"No wonder they're so nice. Besides, you haven't forgotten I'm bi-sexual, have you?"

"Well", I started to say, "this evening is a fund raiser for the Gay and Lesbian Center, and I just assumed..." I stopped when I realized what I was about to say. I had taken for granted that since Cheryl has some gay and bi-sexual friends of her own, she wouldn't give any of this a second thought. Also, I thought she'd be kind of bored with it all before the evening was over. Once again, I was wrong. We have an extremely open relationship, but I never considered how important her own bisexuality is to her.

She asked me later why I've never mentioned any of this in my writing. "Well', I told her,"that's because it's unethical to talk about another person's sexuality unless you have their permission. I'll never say anything about you in one of the columns unless you let me." "Oh, go ahead. I don't have a problem with it." I had wrongly made the assumption that is was something she would rather keep to herself. She's proud of who she is, and this is part of the give-and-take of our relationship. It's just as

important to her as my cross dressing is to me.

Basically, I feel it all comes down to this: what you assume about another person is not necessarily going to be how that person perceives themselves. I don't like to be "pigeonholed"into any given, narrow parameter. And I am guilty of doing that to others. We cannot expect to change things, on any level, until we make room at the table for any and all who are willing to come and partake. While I don't wish to have anyone emulate me, I am willing to help them find their own path, their own degree of comfort and security. That's what true support is about.

Thanks for letting me rant and rave. I'll stop, and see ya next time, girlfriends!

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AC! Behind Blue Eyes 
By Anne Casebeer
agc@cwix.com

It's springtime, and as we all know, all TG people's thoughts turn to....well, we can't go there, this is a family-friendly publication. But, there are a lot of events coming up, and you should attend some of these. Probably not all, unless you are independently wealthy and able to travel, but pick your spots. I won't be listening to anyone's whining about having nothing to do in 1999.

First, we'll be electing a new board at April's meeting. I'm not certain at this writing who is running for what, but I can say that this is my last newsletter for the Vals. At that meeting, I will have discs with me with templates and graphics that I have used to do this job. It's fun, and I'd keep doing it if my schedule and proximity permitted, but I must give this job up. Someone must continue the Vals' legacy of publishing a first-class newsletter, and that someone ought to be YOU. In fact, in my opinion, there should be at least 2 Vals running for each post. It's time for more new people to come forward. Helping to steer this group for the next year will be a lot of fun, trust me. So, run for office, or at least vote for the board (and be certain to pay your dues so that you can, if you haven't already done so.)

Lobby Days will be held May 17-18 in Washington. I spoke to Carrie Davis of GenderPAC during the IFGE convention (more on that craziness in May's newsletter, but believe me, ya shoulda been there....), and I feel that this event will be much better organized than past ones. I believe that it is mandatory for our Representatives and Senators to see and speak to us every year. I laid groundwork with several Tennessee House members, plus Senators Frist and Thompson's offices. I can't lay claim to any credit for Senator Thompson's anti-party line vote on the 2nd Article of Impeachment, but that illustrates the fact that Senator Fred calls 'em as he sees 'em. People like him could be moved if his constituents continue trying. The last couple years, nobody from Tennessee has come to Lobby Days, and you've had this Kentuckian representing your interests. Folks, I'm good, but YOU should be there. Need I say that this is one of the greatest and most meaningful TG experiences you can enjoy, plus you will meet some amazingly intelligent people.

There are some conventions coming up that are of interest, all within reasonable driving time. Trans-America will be held May 13-15 in Charlotte, and we have brochures available; it looks like this could turn out to be an interesting event. The Be-All will be held in Cleveland June 4-7, and is always an excellent event; the notion of touring the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame sounds like fun. And, of course, Southern Comfort is happening in September, so save your pennies and nickels, that's the big one. Every year, we see a good number of Vals and their loved ones at Southern Comfort, and it'd be nice to see even more Vals this year. Even if you can't afford the whole conference, you should come for the weekend. The experience of a gender conference is always worth the money.

Now that spring has blossomed, I need to make note of the other annual occurrence that happens in our community; the disappearance of the "vampires." For those who aren't aware, a vampire is a transgendered person who only comes out at night. With the warming of the weather, and lengthening of the days, these folks withdraw back into the closet. This happens for a number of reasons; family obligations, pool ownership and the requisite problems of body shaving, so forth. I can understand. I also don't buy it as a good excuse for not letting the femme side out sometimes. If you can't shave, you can wear pants. If you can't dress at home and leave the house in daylight, change at the meeting, at a motel, or at a friend's house. Also, it's important that those of us who are out be understanding. I would much rather see a little hair hanging out, or even someone attending in guy mode, than to not see you at all during the summer. In general, it's the duty of all of us to be supportive and happy for each person who gets out and judge less on their passability, but that's an old subject for me that I won't repeat again. Anyway, dear vampires, please don't withdraw this year - try getting out a bit. You may be surprised how pleasant the ballpark, mall, or park can be in a light dress. And, nobody will notice the shaved legs in guy mode - I wear shorts around the yard and house in summer, and nobody has yet commented. If they do, so what?

Spring also means the return of outdoor interests into our lives. Jenni wrote some months ago about her love of sports and other "male" interests. I second this, and encourage everyone to not drop their previous hobbies because of their alleged gender-specificity. I plea guilty as charged to being a serious baseball fan who opens USA Today to the box scores long before reading about the latest Serbian or Clintonian atrocity. After writing this today, I'm going to a small lot that sells used imported cars, where I've spotted an '87 Volvo 240DL in need of the Roadmistress' tender ministrations, thereby resurrecting an old hobby that once provided me much pleasure and saved me lots of money in car payments and maintenance costs. As for gender norms, well take this real-life case into consideration: it so happens that the best carburetor/fuel injection mechanic in Louisville is a woman who once worked for me named Mary; she races a Corvette at dragstrips in Kentucky, Tennessee, and Indiana (though not in drag, unless you consider a Nomex bodysuit to be drag-friendly). I have seen Mary; dressed to the nines in elegant black cocktail dress, sophisticated makeup, pearls, and stiletto heels; appear at parties with just a hint of grease under her manicured fingernails, despite her wearing gloves while working in the muck. On the flip side, if you're an F2M, and you enjoy sewing or cooking, why not continue these interests if you enjoy them? If you know who you are and where you stand, what you like to do as a pastime will give you pleasure, not cause an identity conflict. I get very sick and tired of hearing that "guys should not do this" or "girls should not do that." Real people do whatever the hell they like doing!

So, get out your tools and work on that lawnmower, Harley, pickup truck, boat, crosstitch, house, or even tank. Yes, I know a transperson whose other car is a German Tiger tank of WW2 vintage, but I haven't yet been able to convince her to let me be a Tank Girl for a day. But, give a good German transperson a chance, and let her bribe the owner with a few doppelbocks (it is spring, time to clean the wort tun...), and, well, she'll soon be tanking me very much, I hope.

Break the rules, whatever they are anyway....you didn't write them. Just don't break a nail.



 


Riki Anne Wilchins

Comments On Hate Crimes


 


It is at once sobering and heartening to see straight news media finally giving gay hate crimes the serious attention and space they deserve. Even the New York Times has weighed in with repeated editorials on the vicious murders of Matthew Shepard and now Billy Jack Gaither. The gay press, of course, is filled with these stories; the HRC webpage opens with Billy Gaither's terrible murder.

I used to explain to college audiences and Congress-members alike that every four or five months another fairly straightforward, unambiguous gender hate crime occurs. Awful as that figure is, I didn't know how good we had it. Rita Hester in Boston, Chanel Chandler in California, Steve Dwayne Garcia and Jane Doe in Houston, Lauryn Paige in Austin, Fitzroy Green in New York, Vianna Faye Williams in Jersey City, and Tasha Dunn in Tampa... We are now averaging one gender-murder every month. Simply put, in the last half-year, this country has turned into a meat-grinder.

Where are the voices crying out against the murders of these people? Is it that the violence done to Rita Hester or the sadistic torture and murder of Lauryn Paige are less horrific? Is it that the hatred which impelled the killer of Tasha Dunn to, in the words of the police, beat her to her last breath any less virulent and profound? Or is it that when a hate crime occurs based on race, or religion, and now, at last, on sexual orientation, reasonable people can reasonably hope that voices will be raised in protest? But are six murders, or sixty murders, that occur based on gender rendered mute and invisible because certain kinds of bodies and certain kinds of hate don't matter as much? Within the queer community and certainly within the straight press, we are disposable people. How many of us will need to die violently, alone, and in terrible pain before our press, our leaders, and our organizations speak out? Perhaps they never will speak out, and some of us will continue to pay for being gender-different with our lives.

It is ironic that GenderPAC's National Survey of TransViolence reveals that the most common epithet used when we are bashed is "faggot." Transpeople are targeted because of the perception that we are gay. And gays are often picked out because they are "visibly queer," that is, because they are gender-different. But the fine-line distinctions we draw to populate and protect

the divisions among us--between orientation and gender or between gay and queer or between you and me--are lost upon those who stalk and prey upon us. We are all at risk, even if only some of us count.
 


In Your Face


 




 


We Eat Our Leaders

By Dallas Denny


 


In the transgender community, we eat our leaders. I know this because I was nearly consumed myself.

What do I mean, we eat our leaders? I am saying that the leaders of the transgender community, whether hired, elected, or self-appointed, tend to give so much of themselves and get so little in return that they eventually have nothing left-- no vitality, no patience, no partners, no money, no careers, no futures.
 


First Generation


 


Consider the first generation of community leaders. Three who come to mind are Virginia Prince, Merissa Sherrill Lynn, and Ari Kane. Virginia, who has a Ph.D. in chemistry, once owned her own company. Then she became active in promoting heterosexual crossdressing. These days she's living hand-to-mouth, making it only because of a reverse mortgage on her home. The bank gives her a payment every month while allowing her to continue to live in her house. When she dies, it will belong to the bank.

Merissa was once a ski instructor, but did not pursue that line of work after becoming involved with Fantasia Fair and the Tiffany Club in the early '80s. In 1985, she founded IFGE, which gave her a full-time salaried position-- when IFGE could afford to pay her. She and IFGE went their separate ways three or four years ago and she thereafter eked out an existence of sorts by allowing an assortment of rent-payers and freeloaders to share her home in Waltham. Last year she had a stroke and subsequently lost her house. These days she is off the streets only because a friend was kind enough to take her in and give her a room.

For many years Ari made if not a living at least the rent payments by running the Outreach Institute and by taking occasional counseling clients. Although she almost singlehandedly brought professional sexology organizations up to speed on transgender issues, Ari had neither the time nor the money to pursue a degree beyond the master's. As income from Outreach dwindled, Ari, with the encouragement of the board, looked at her options and decided to go back to school. She recently completed her Ph.D. in sexology and is currently looking for a job.

For many years, these three individuals spent their time and energy looking after the community's interests rather than their own. Had they been less steadfast, they would have pursued their educations and careers and relationships just like the rest of humanity. But they didn't. They neglected their own interests. And what is their payback? How has the community awarded them for a lifetime of service? These days all three are financially insecure and without partners.
 


The Next Generation


 


The second generation of leaders seems to be heading down the same road. Jessica Xavier, who has a congenital heart condition, gives so much of herself that her health suffers. Her friends, myself included, constantly caution her to slow down. Riki Anne Wilchins channels most of her money, time, and energy into GenderPAC. Attorney Phyllis Randolph Frye has neglected her career, passing up more lucrative work in favor of low-fee but precedent-making gender cases. James Green, a freelance writer, has turned down many jobs because of his commitment to the community in general and FTM International in particular. Who knows how much more these talented, intelligent, and industrious individuals and the many others I haven't mentioned might have accomplished for themselves had they not spent the last decade and more so immersed in gender work?
 


And Then There's Me


 


And then there's me. I was headed down a similar road. Throughout the nineties, my time and energy and much of my money were dedicated to the community. I gave everything I had to give, and then I gave more and kept giving more until finally I began to fall apart on every level. Things started to turn around only in 1996, after I underwent a health crisis. Understanding that I would die in the saddle unless I started to look after myself, I began making arrangements to do so. For the past year things have slowly been getting better, but the work I was doing is going undone and will remain undone until one of two things happens: 1) someone else is foolish enough to step into the traces; or 2) the community decides to take responsibility for itself and begins to set up sensible mechanisms of leadership.

I don't consider much of an icon, but I do think my story is typical of transgender community "leaders," and I offer it here, for what it's worth.
 


A Survivor's Tale


 


I made my transition in December 1989. My prospects were good. I was still relatively young, at 39 years of age, and I had lots of advantages-- a good education, valuable job skills, a passable appearance thanks to ten years on hormones, and a circle of friends who would not let me starve if worst came to worst. I had worked hard, losing weight, getting rid of my facial hair with electrolysis, and otherwise laying the foundation for a new life. I had no thought other than to move successfully from the male role to the female and disappear into society like all self-respecting transsexuals did in those days.

I didn't volunteer to do community work; I wuz drafted. I was asked and then begged to run a local support group. I finally agreed, and after a few months found that I rather liked it. I am, after all, a helping professional by training. The work was familiar and was certainly much needed, for there were very few resources for transsexuals in those days. It gave me a great deal of gratification, too. I really liked giving people the information they needed to make major changes in their lives and then watching them make those changes.

Within a year I had founded AEGIS and the Atlanta Gender Explorations support group and launched the journal Chrysalis. Feedback was immediate and positive, and the demand for services overwhelming. The phone was ringing off the hook and the mailbox was choked with requests for referrals and information. Without having really thought about what I might be getting into and how it might affect my life, I found I had a tiger by the tail. I could hold on or I could let go; there were problems with either choice. If I let go, the work would not get done. If I held on-- well, I was unsure what would happen, but it would certainly require some self-sacrifice. I held on. For the next seven years I spent every possible moment trying to meet the needs of AEGIS' many correspondents. It nearly destroyed me.

The logistics of running AEGIS were enormous. The phone rang at all hours with calls from reporters, therapists, and transmen and women in crisis. Requests for information poured in by mail and fax, and, after 1995, by e-mail. Most were desperate pleas for help and required immediate, individual attention. I was also editor and publisher of Chrysalis and AEGIS News, which meant I had to do everything from scaring up articles to laying out the copy to hand-assembling and stapling thousands of copies to toting bags of outgoing mail to the post office. Book orders came in daily and had to be filled at least twice a week. There were inventory lists, a database, and financial records to maintain. Daily, there was library material to index. And of course there were all the little tasks necessary in running an office-- buying supplies, licking stamps, keeping up with the sales tax, going to the bank. And of course there was local transgender community work, which included attending support group meetings and gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender events, ministering to those in crisis, and putting up visitors from out of town.
 


The Kicker


 


But here's the kicker. Throughout all this, I had a day job, eight hours a day, five days a week. AEGIS provided me with no income, and in fact would have never existed had I not been employed. I had been lucky enough to land a position within a month of arriving in Atlanta. It was a good one, too, a nine-to-five professional spot equal in every way to the one I had left, a job where absolutely nobody "knew," a good starting point for someone who was on the verge of completing her doctorate. Such a job was every transsexual's dream-- but it quickly turned not into a career, but an AEGIS asset, as it gave me evenings and weekends free and the financial resources to provide AEGIS with office space and stamps. I've held my job for nearly ten years. Although my performance has been satisfactory, I haven't advanced as I did in earlier positions-- nor did I complete my Ph.D. After AEGIS, I had little left to give either my job or my education. Work was not the focus of my initiative. It was merely the place to which I had to go in order to pay AEGIS' rent. I have stayed in the same position with the same salary, as I have not vied for

promotions or otherwise aspired to advance. After all, more money would have required that I give the job more time and energy, and those were resources I couldn't spare. AEGIS needed all I was giving, and more.

Managing AEGIS was more than a full-time job; it was never-ending. For years I didn't go to bed before 1:30 am. I was up before seven a.m. five days a week so I could make it to work by eight; on weekends, the phone began ringing early, driving me out of bed. It also rang frequently in the middle of the night, and I usually answered it, for I found it difficult to ignore the ringing phone, knowing there was a living, hurting-- and usually, at 3:00 am, drunk-- human being on the other end. I would go straight home after work and immediately start returning phone calls and answering mail. If I worked straight through until the early hours five days a week and all weekend, I could stay almost caught up. Relaxing or entertaining in my home weren't options, for it wasn't possible to prepare and eat a meal or watch a television show without interruption. My food would grow cold on the plate in the kitchen while I made referrals downstairs at AEGIS world headquarters.

Did I have help with AEGIS? Certainly, I did. AEGIS would not have been possible without monetary donations and time given by those who helped assemble Chrysalis and process orders, or without direction from the Board of Directors. Perhaps, had I inherited some social organizing gene, I could have rustled enough free help to get all the jobs done. But ultimately, the buck stopped with me. If it had to be done, and there was no one else available-- and usually, there wasn't-- it was up to me to do it. With a day job that kept me at my desk and with AEGIS keeping me on the phone at home, my weight ballooned. I began eating high-calorie, high-fat convenience foods and gave up my daily walks, which made things even worse. Gender work had become not just something which I did to help people. It had become my life. But great things were happening with AEGIS, and great things were happening in the community. My work was making a difference in the lives of thousands of people. I was a cog in the transgender revolution. I couldn't stop.

By late 1995 I had grown so heavy I was having difficulty tying my shoes. I had undiagnosed sleep apnea, and I was beginning to have trouble staying awake at work. I was also developing a niggling sense of doom, as if my days were numbered. Gradually, and don't ask me how or why, I came to understand that I would have a major health event in mid-1996, about the time of the Summer Olympics. I was certain I was going to die. But I didn't die. I broke my foot, and right on schedule, in July, 1996, three days before the Olympics. I wasn't sure whether I was relieved or disappointed. I had been cheated out of martyrdom, but I had been given another chance at life. While sitting at home for six weeks with my foot in a cast, I did a lot of thinking. When I went back to work in September, I began to slowly take control of my life.
 


Assuming Control


 


I went to the doctor for treatment for the sleep apnea. I started walking to strengthen muscles weak from inactivity. I began going to bed earlier and making an effort to eat more sensibly. And I gave the AEGIS board a year's notice. I would be resigning as director at the end of 1997.

The board of directors began to look to AEGIS' future. Our options were limited. It was clear that we did not have the financial wherewithal to open an office and hire an Executive Director, and we were unlikely to find anyone foolish enough to

work full-time for free and run AEGIS out of their own home. Our best option seemed to be merger with one or more other national transgender organizations; this was an idea the board had had been under consideration for years. Now it was on the front burner. The AEGIS board stepped up merger negotiations with other organizations, including Renaissance and IFGE, but politics-as-usual precluded any real move toward merger. Talks with It's Time, America! showed promise, but by the end of 1997, we were still a long way from a merger. At the request of the AEGIS board, I remained three additional months as Executive Director, resigning effective the end of March, 1998. I'm not sure how I made it those three extra months, for I was weary in body and spirit.
 


A New Life


 


Since my resignation I have been making slow progress in rebuilding my life. I contacted Vanderbilt University to see what would be required to finish my degree. I show more initiative at work. I see a lot of movies. I bought a house--my first-- and have been fixing it up. I'm enjoying simple pleasures denied me for nearly a decade. I relish quiet evenings at home, where I still amazed that I am able to watch a prime-time television program without being interrupted by the ringing phone. I enjoy having friends over for dinner. I find I'm cooking more healthy foods and eating more wisely. I walk daily around the lake near my house. I feel better, both physically and spiritually, and I expect to feel better yet as I continue to rebuild a life too-long neglected.

That's my story. I'm stickin' to it.
 


No Stinkin' Burnout


 


I'd like to point out that I was not and am not burned out. That is, I did not grow physically, spiritually, or emotionally tired of what I was doing. I loved what I was doing, and still do. But I did grow tired of my life being so one-sided, so unbalanced, of working all day every day without rest, and I decided to do what was necessary in order to regain the balance I lacked in my life. Like Susan Powter, the exercise queen, I called a halt to the insanity. Once I got a few months' rest, I bounced back like a rubber ball. My health has returned and so has my energy. I'm still full of plans and schemes. I'm still here for the community. The difference is, now I'm here for myself, too.
 


Please, Let's Not Eat Our Leaders


 


It's time for the transgender community to take responsibility for its leadership. We must stop relying on the heroic efforts of the few. We must stop using them up, sucking out their juices and then kicking the dry husks aside. We should honor those who have seen the community's needs and stepped into the breech, and we should understand that every hour they have spent on the community is an hour less they have spent meeting their own needs. When they retire, we should assist them as they transition into private lives-- but ultimately, we must stop relying on those who are noble or foolish or egotistical enough to step into leadership roles. We must begin to select our leaders, rather than them selecting us.

We must all learn to pull together to accomplish our common ends. We must devise methods to train and select our leaders, and we must work harder to support them emotionally and financially.

The day of the charismatic ruler is past. It's time for us to start hiring, electing, or appointing our leaders and paying them a living wage and retirement plan. Those who lead the community should be its duly designated, compensated representatives rather than its willing slaves. Our leaders should be given jobs, compensated for doing them, and held accountable for doing them properly.

Please, let's stop eating our leaders.

© 1999 Dallas Denny



 


News TransMissions


Thai TG Kickboxer Retires

Thailand's transgendered Muay Thai sensation will leave the ring for the rock 'em-sock 'em world of show business after his prize winnings pay for his sex change.

It was only a year ago that the beautiful transgender (katoey) Parinya Kiatbusaba, in full makeup and pink nail polish, made his big-league debut in perhaps the world's roughest sport, Thai kickboxing (Muay Thai),but now he's ready to leave it for a career in show business -- and to have sex reassignment surgery. Now 18, Parinya visited a clinic in Bangkok this week for an initial consultation on his sex change. The doctors there would prefer he simply continue cross- dressing, and he'll need to obtain his parents' permission, but Parinya is confident he'll find a surgeon to do the job. (In his native Thailand, the katoey are generally considered a third sex.)

As a kickboxer, Parinya attracted fans from all over Asia. He enjoyed teasing his opponents, including kissing them on the forehead, but once a match was underway he was most likely to knock them out. By the time of his Bangkok debut last year, he'd already amassed 17 knockouts in a 20-2 professional record in the provinces. But from his first victory in his first major appearance before 10,000 fans, he planned to spend his prize money on cosmetic surgery to better match his body to his feminine feelings, and was saying he'd only continue in the sport until he became bored with it.

But he had also said then that he would rather have a quiet life than be famous, and now he's thinking that show business will be his next career. He told a reporter, "I think I can play any role, but I want to be a folk singer." Given the determination he showed both as a fighter and as someone insistent on being his feminine self in a most macho arena, it's hard to imagine that Parinya won't succeed.
 


Planet Out, March 4, 1999


 




 


Gay Vets Banned Over Drag


 


A gay veterans group from Phoenix -- snubbed by planners for this year's Veterans Day Parade -- has issued a new call to battle: "Discrimination!"

Wally Straughn, president of the Phoenix chapter of the Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Veterans of America, said Wednesday that his group is fighting mad about being banned from the 1999 parade because one member marched in drag during last year's event. Straughn also said he was barred from the Veterans Day Planning Committee during "secret meetings." But Paula Pedene, a committee member and spokeswoman for the Veterans Administration Hospital, said the gay chapter is not blackballed, and may be selected to march if members abide by the rules.

The dispute, like others nationwide over gay participation in parades, involves a minefield of legal and social issues: First Amendment rights, public policy, sexual orientation and patriotism. The controversy began last year after 11 members of the gay veterans group walked down Central Avenue in street clothes. Pedene said there were 120 entries in the parade and 30,000 spectators, but the gay veterans were alone in inspiring anger and criticism. "We even had people pull out of the parade because they were in it," she said, noting that television coverage was beamed worldwide via satellite.

Straughn was asked to serve on this year's planning committee by Bill Messer, chairman o the panel. But that invitation was reversed this month when Messer sent Straughn a pair of e-mail messages saying the committee had voted to reject him because of the 1998 embarrassment. "(T)he committee felt it would not enhance the mission of the parade if you or your group participated in the 1999 parade," Messer wrote. "A vote was taken in January and (your) membership was denied." Messer said Tuesday that there was no formal vote to reject Straughn and that the gay vets are not banned from this year's parade. He acknowledged, however, that Straughn was purposely excluded from meetings. And no other group has been notified of parade policy changes or the creation of a new "standards committee" to screen applicants.

Pedene said the gay vets were singled out because some of their members violated the dress code egregiously. "They came to the parade as cross-dressers in drag attire," she said. "None of them came in patriotic clothing. ... All we're trying to do is establish standards for the best parade possible." Parade officials stressed that the gay vets were singled out because of their appearance rather than sexual orientation. Although the event has no written dress code, Pedene said 1998 participants were told they must wear uniforms or what the committee terms "patriotic attire." Straughn said that he never got that word, and

that other marchers wore civilian clothing -- Gulf War mothers, beauty queens, Olympic kids and Sheriff's Posse members in minicars. Straughn said he believes the committee explanations are a subterfuge for anti-gay prejudice. His vets chapter has 25 members. Photographs from 1998 show 11 marching in the parade, and only one -- Neala Lynn Balmes, 50 -- could be described as a cross-dresser. Straughn said Balmes, who is in the process of changing gender from male to female, always wears old-lady outfits. "That's the real reason they don't want us in the parade," Straughn said. "But he didn't dress like that to embarrass anybody. That's how he dresses -- she dresses -- every day."

Balmes said she wore a "a real common skirt" and a T-shirt because she was "trying to dress down. I didn't want to draw attention." Asked why she was in the parade, Balmes said, "I served in Vietnam (as a Jeep gunner). I'm proud of my military heritage. I'm also proud of being female." Meanwhile, Straughn said his group is willing to wear whatever's required in the Nov. 11 parade. "If everybody's going to be in uniform, we'll be in uniform. We just want to be there to celebrate with them. We're not a bunch of radical people."
 


Arizona Republic, March 4, 1999


 




 


The More You Know About Transvestism, The Less You'll Fear

By Ann Landers


 


Dear Ann Landers: My husband has been clinically depressed for most of his adult life. A while back, "Herman" began seeing a female therapist who focused on my husband's early years to see if something in his childhood might be the cause of his depression. His therapist discovered that during adolescence, Herman had been a crossdresser. He apparently had work women's clothing in his early teens but repressed it as an adult. Now, Herman wants my permission to express this side of his personality around the house. He says he would not go out in public.

This disgusts me, Ann. The thought of my husband in makeup, wig, and high heels makes my skin crawl. His therapist told me I need to be more tolerant. She doesn't think his behavior is abnormal or sick.

Herman is artistic and sensitive, a gourmet cook and an avid sportsman. More importantly, he is a terrific father to our 2 sons. I used to think he was the most masculine man alive. Now, I don't see how I can ever look at him the same way or stop wondering if he is gay. I don't' want to break up our marriage, but if anyone found out about the makeup, wigs, and high heels, I would be devastated. I need your advice.

N. Carolina

Dear N. Carolina: You need to have a better understanding of your husband's crossdressing. Herman is a transvestite. Some transvestites are gay, but many are not. They get their thrills from dressing up in women's clothing, but that's as far as it goes. Please go to the public library and read up on the subject. The more you know, the less you will fear it.
 


Tennessean, 2-26-99


 




 


Transgendered Rights Hacked Out Of Maryland Civil Rights Bill


 


Maryland's House of Delegates by an 80 - 56 vote on March 24 approved a bill to extend civil rights protections against discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodations, to add sexual orientation to the current protected categories of race, age and gender. In eight years and six attempts, this is the farthest that any such bill has advanced there. While the vote was a sweet moment for activists who had made the bill a focal point of Maryland's "Equality Begins At Home" activities this week, celebration was restrained by the knowledge that the bill could well go no further. Its companion measure is currently before the state Senate's most conservative committee, Judicial Proceedings, which is expected to vote on it next week, and should that fail, the House version would have to face the same committee. Meanwhile, one first-year state Senator's campaign against the bill may have been taken a step too far, in the view of the non-partisan Common Cause/Maryland and even some of the bill's opponents.
 


Gays In, TGs Out


 


The proposed law would empower the Maryland Commission on Human Relations to investigate complaints of sexual orientation discrimination, and to punish those it finds have illegally discriminated by means including fines and payments to victims. Only ten states have enacted similar laws (plus Maine, which enacted a measure which never took effect before it was repealed by referendum). Before the House Judiciary Committee approved the bill on March 19, it removed explicit reference to transgendered and transsexual people, even though Committee members were clearly more moved by the testimony of a pre-operative transsexual than any other. Some Committee members believe these groups will nonetheless be protected if the law is enacted. Some lawmakers believe this deletion will make the bill more acceptable to the more conservative state Senate.

The House vote is generally credited to the extraordinary lobbying effort of Maryland's Democratic Governor Parris Glendening, who made his first personal testimony before a legislative committee in its support. He had also threatened to hold back state funds from some legislators' favored projects unless there was action on the civil rights measure and three of his other top priorities. He has a profound personal motivation in the story of his late brother, a gay man who spent 19 years in the military in fear of losing his job, and ultimately died of AIDS-related illness. In a statement following the vote, Glendening wrote, "Today's vote by the House sends a strong message that Maryland is a fair, just and inclusive state and that discrimination of any kind will not be tolerated here." He wrote, "It's a big step forward in making Maryland a more fair and just society. It's a major statement. It took a lot of courage." Delegates arguing in support of the bill emphasized it is a matter of fairness and justice.

Opponents argued that lesbigay people are not suffering from discrimination, and even that as individuals they are already protected from wrongful dismissal, despite many examples to the contrary. As is usually the case, there were arguments it provides "special rights" based on "what they do behind closed doors." Opponents also said the bill would be bad for businesses. But freshman state Senator Alexander Mooney (R-Frederick), who campaigned on a "family values" platform, is perhaps the most dismayed of all. He calls the measure radical and very extreme, and fears it will lead to teachers wearing drag in the classroom and the legitimization of deviant behavior. So concerned was he to "expose" "the truth" about the bill, that he hired a public relations firm to place editorials in newspapers serving the districts of as-yet uncommitted Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee members -- intending to pay the firm with as much as $1,000 of the budget he's provided by the taxpayers. Not only was there no open bidding process involved, but the firm in question had contributed to Mooney's campaign. The General Assembly's Joint Ethics Committee will be reviewing this situation, one they have never been faced with before, and that committee's co-Chair Sen. Michael Collins (D-Baltimore) is confident that Mooney will pay with his own money if the committee decides he should. Mooney believes it's possible the firm may even agree to do the job without payment, but is loudly insisting that all complaints about his unprecedented lobbying tactic are merely an effort to distract from his message, a maneuver he describes as typical of the "militant homosexual and transgender lobby".

Another Frederick resident, open gay David Koontz, a Democrat who failed in a bid for a Delegate seat last year, told the "Montgomery Journal" that, "I'm horribly concerned that he hates gays and lesbians so much that he's willing to compromise his credibility and effectiveness with his colleagues by unethically using state money to go after his colleagues."
 


NewsPlanet, March 25, 1999


 




 


Cross-Dresser Attacks At Bus Stops


 


TAMPA, FL -- Law officers in Hillsborough County are warning women... especially those who ride city or school buses... that a man dressed as a woman is assaulting people at bus stops. The two latest assaults took place a couple of weeks ago. The man reportedly tried to force the victims into his red pick-up truck. Neither of the teenaged women who were accosted were hurt, but police say there have been at least ten similar incidents in the city since October. In two of the cases, the women were sexually assaulted. Police are distributing a composite sketch of the cross-dressing assailant.
 


Reuters - March 25, 1999


 




 


Male Student to Attend Prom in Drag


 


Pierson, Fla - For Saturday's prom, Charles Rice plans to wear a red floor-length evening gown, red satin shoes, gloves and matching rhinestone jewelry.

The 18-year-old Taylor High School senior will get to dress that way because Volusia School District administrators changed their minds Tuesday. Last week, Principal Peter Oatman told Rice he would be refused entrance to the prom if he showed up in drag. Oatman backed down Tuesday after conferring with Superintendent Bill Hall and school district attorneys, as well as reviewing news accounts of his initial decision.

"It was just something I had to stand up for," Rice said after school Tuesday.

Maybe so, Superintendent Bill Hall said, but Rice's victory isn't likely to help other cross-dressing students who hope to come clothed as they please to class or school events. Hall said Rice gets to don his gown for the prom only because the principal let him wear skirts and dresses to special events in the past. There was the school talent show Rice hosted last spring and the homecoming dance he attended in a skirt and jacket in December. Because of these prior episodes, the school system would have had a weak case if the matter had gone to court, Hall said. "The court rulings have given principals the authority to enforce a reasonable dress code for regular school events, special events and other things that may go on," Hall said Tuesday. "But the rules have to be enforced consistently." Hall said the district isn't being intolerant, but is simply enforcing its dress code. "What I'm sure of is what is appropriate and is acceptable has to be defined," he said. "It cannot be disruptive."

Rice said the feminine outfits he wore in the past never caused a commotion. Rice, who wears typical teen-age attire to class, bought his prom dress and accessories at a DeLand bridal shop. "I should have the freedom to express myself," insists Rice, who said he is gay. His grandmother, who raised him, declined comment. Rice has the support of his classmates at the rural northwest Volusia campus. "When he wore a skirt at homecoming, I thought it was kind of funny -- a guy in a dress," senior John Taylor said. "I didn't get offended. If that's how he feels comfortable, then that's how he should go." But when it comes to school dress codes, students don't have a lot of freedom to ignore them, recent court decisions show.
 


Knight Ridder News Services, 3-26-99


TransBabble

Bad Behaving Guy Becomes Well-Behaved Woman


 


Actor Neil Morrissey found out what it was like to be on the wrong side of men behaving badly when he was hassled by builders -- while dressed as a woman, wearing high heels and with a 42DD bust.

The group wolf-whistled him and shouted after mistaking the star for a woman as he filmed his role as a transsexual in a forthcoming TV film. "It's a testament to the wardrobe, make-up and the way I walk," he said.

The transformation was part of the comedy Hunting Venus, in which Morrissey and Men Behaving Badly co-star Martin Clunes play faded pop stars who are persuaded to re-form their new romantic band for one last show. Most of the musicians are shocked to find that Morrissey's character has had a sex change and become a woman in the 15 years since they split.

For many of the shots he underwent a complete transformation, although in one scene he was replaced by a body double -- glamour model Nell McAndrew. "I was getting gawped at by men for sexual reasons," said the actor. "I didn't feel vulnerable because underneath it all it was me there, but I could see the reasons why people would feel more vulnerable by having six or seven builders when you are walking past them -- which I had to do to get from the camper to location -- wolf-whistling at you and saying "Wa-hey darling". "They genuinely thought I was a 6ft 5in woman with all the attributes," he said. "I didn't really say anything at all, I'd just swing my tush and head on down to the location. "What can you say -- `Come down here mate and you'll get a surprise?'"

The transformation and make-up process were particularly grueling for the star. "It's a six-and-a-half hour process to get those breasts on and I was literally in the chair from four in the morning. I fell asleep, woke up and looked at myself in the mirror with breasts. "I'd have maybe three hours on the film before they started to collapse. It took two hours to get them off. They were glued on with this stuff they used during the Vietnam War to seal wounds, so it was really difficult to get the kit off." The white silicone chest molds had to be replaced daily and were hand-colored to match his skin tones after they had been fitted. "Not only that, we had to rid myself of showing signs of my maleness which included a very slimming girdle so it was very uncomfortable. And I had a corset on which took my waist to 25inches, so I was a 42-25-38, 6ft 5in-in-heels bird. "My waist is normally 33. The weird thing was after seven hours of wearing this corset I used to take it off at night and I wouldn't be able to keep my trousers on because it would take two hours for my organs to replace themselves before I could actually wear my own clothes again."

The actor realized some of the difficulties women suffer for their appearance by growing his nails and wearing false eyelashes, which hampered some of his day to day activities on set. "I couldn't open doors with keys, I couldn't scratch my eyes and I couldn't drink out of a cup, I had to drink out of a straw because of the lipstick."

The comedy, which is being directed by Clunes, features actress Jane Horrocks and Fast Show star Mark Williams. There are also cameo appearances from Eighties stars Gary Numan, Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran's Simon LeBon and Phil Oakey, Joanne Catherall and Susan Ann Sulley, all from the Human League. The one-off film was screened by ITV on March 31.
 


PA News, March 21, 1999


 




Out of the blue last week, a de-dragged RuPaul made a cameo (on the show Veronica's Closet) as an interior decorator with attitude - Query, 2-19-99



 


From "News of the Weird"


 


In December, the chief surgeon at Bangkok's Chulalongporn Hospital told reporters that Thailand is now the pre-eminent country in the world for sex-change operations, which could, if exploited, help the nation's anemic economy, considering that 35,000transsexuals worldwide are now on Thai surgeons' waiting lists - 3-7-99

Edward L. Bodkin, 56, was arrested in February in Huntington, IN., and charged with performing surgery without a license. Police said Bodkin removed the testicles of at least 5 consenting me and was ready to perform again when a patient got cold feet and handed over to police a videotape Bodkin had loaned him of some of the surgeries. Allegedly, some of the testicles were in jars in Bodkin's apartment. As to the patients' motives, prosecutor John Branham said, "I can't sit here as a reasonable human being and give you an intelligent answer to that." - 2-25-99



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