Future Meetings:
December 13: 5th Annual Anniversary/Holiday Party, Church Street & Overlook Drive, Brentwood
January 10: Discussion Circle, Relationships (...Or Lack Thereof)
February 14: Transgender and the Law
March 14: Talent Show (Not a Contest!!!)TBA
April 11: Board Elections
Highlights from the November Meeting: Our 3rd Annual Halloween Party was more fun than ever with many people getting into the act with costumes. See the picture spread available online. Special thanks to the Vals own Susie G. for providing a digital camera and laptop computer.
Vals Board Meetings:
November 20, December 19, January 22, 7pm at the Center for Gay, Lesbian, Bi, and Transgendered Life in Nashville, 703 Berry Rd., (615) 297-0008. Board meetings are open to all members.
The Queen's Throne
By Marisa Richmond
This month's speaker is one who intrigues me greatly. Dr. Bill Turner is the co-chair of Nashville's Lesbian and Gay Coalition for Justice. He is also a regular columnist in Xenogeny. I have always been impressed with his thoughtfulness and articulateness and have enjoyed the few times we have actually met and talked face to face-- including at least once in a professional setting. Back in July, he wrote an interesting column about correspondence he had with Senator Fred Thompson. Turner noted that Thompson responded on May 20 outlining the Senator's opposition to a comprehensive Employment Non- Discrimination Act. What surprised me about this is that Turner and I have identical academic backgrounds and professions, and yet, I have not received a single response from Senator Thompson to either of the two letters I wrote to him on the exact same issue. I wrote my first letter in October 1995 as Thompson was preparing to run for re- election. I did not point out that I had donated money to his opponent in the 1994 special election to complete Al Gore's term, so the fact that I am a registered voter and, I believe, a fairly decent, level headed writer, suggests that I should have gotten a response as well. You can bet I have every intention of sharing this with Turner on November 8.
Recently, we received a letter from a company offering to market our mailing list. Of course, we have no plans to respond positively to such an offer. Many people all around the country contact groups like the Tennessee Vals, and many of those people are fearful of having personal information shared. While the company in question markets only gay and lesbian related lists, one of the primary concerns of any support group is respect for the privacy of our members. I often talk to people who come up with excuses for not coming out they believe are original, but rarely are. Groups like the Vals would not exist very long if we did violate a person's privacy. To all those who think they are the only ones who are afraid of being outed: You have nothing to fear. Those of us who are out, are there because we chose to be. You can move at your own pace. But move you must. Inertia will get you nowhere.
Obviously, I am back home after the 7th annual Southern Comfort Convention. Despite a few minor glitches, the general assessment seems to be that this was the best one yet, and I wholeheartedly agree. We got things off to a raucous start when we had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. With 100 of us there, we not only took up a large part of the restaurant, but several got up and lip-synched to Diana Ross and did "YMCA" (but for some strange reason, nobody got up for "Macho Man"). Our annual visit to The Chamber afterwards was memorable as always, especially for the outfits people wore (or barely wore...).
Friday night, the Vals hosted a cocktail party celebrating birthdays for both Toni Barron and myself. I received several nice hugs and cards, flowers, and a CD--but no wristradio or magic decoder ring. It was flattering having people show up to help us celebrate. Allison Laing told me that if I try hard, I might make it to 30 one day. Uh-huh. The talent show later that evening was just unbelievably fantastic. It was helped by Tampa's Tammy Ward who provided a sound system the Rolling Stones would have envied. It featured 16 different entertainers all of whom were good. Among those who impressed me were Dr. Jean Rich and Kristen Rivers of Fort Lauderdale, a biological parent and child relationship (Yes, you read that right!). Our own Anne Casebeer and Jennileigh Love both sang. Since I brought Jenni out, and Jenni brought Anne out, it made me feel like a grandmother. Not bad for 29. The artist who brought down the house was Asheville's Marc Eden. His a cappella, Celtic style singing mesmerized all there. If anyone ever deserved a standing ovation for anything, it was Marc that night. I even put my cocktail down.
On Saturday, I was the host of a Transgender Town Hall. We had a panel of 12 of the best and most diverse individuals the gender community has to offer. For three hours, over 100 audience members had the opportunity to talk directly to those who are their "leaders." One national figure sitting in the audience did make some obscene gestures, behavior I personally find inappropriate, but otherwise while some controversial items were mentioned, it was all fairly friendly. I don't know if Southern Comfort will host a similar event next year, and if so whether or not I will be a part of it, but I was honored to be asked to moderate this experimental version. I also welcome feedback from any who were there.
The weekend ended with the final banquet. I was flattered to have Maxwell Anderson ask me to be his date, although I did have to fight off several other queens throughout the night--they were obviously jealous. I specifically told JoAnn Roberts to "back off bitch!" Just before the banquet, a dozen Vals members lined up for a family portrait. The number could easily have been higher, but there were a few we could not find or they did not wish to be photographed. But when I saw how many we had there that night, all feeling good about themselves, and I realized that only three of them, Susan, Jenni and Stephanie, joined because of me (the rest all came out through others), it really warmed my heart to see how far we have come in less than five years. I want next year's family photo to require the use of a wide-angle lens.
From what I've heard, most of the sessions went well (including my historical/anthropological panel with Drs. Anne Bolin and William Dragoin) and many I talked to left with positive attitudes. The three luncheon speakers, Rev. Dr. Erin Swensen, Holly Boswell, and some guy who claimed to be Sabrina Marcus in male drab, were all excellent as were the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus. I even pulled off a personal first. This was my fifth Southern Comfort, but it was not until Sunday morning that I made it to breakfast for the first time ever. I am really glad I did. I was talking to one person from Texas who had actually been discouraged from attending because SCC is "diverse," but said she had fun and intended to be back next year. I'm pleased to hear she enjoyed herself and wants to return, but it is distressing to hear otherwise responsible members of our community treat diversity like it is a disease.
One interesting thing occurred there. The Board of IFGE met and announced a significant change. Allison Laing is now the Executive Director Emeritus, but will remain on the board and will serve as a roving ambassador and ombudsman for the gender community. The new Executive Director is Nancy Nangeroni. I offered her my personal support in her new role.
One other thing occurred which served as a reality check for me. The final evening while we were partying at The Otherside, one girl there, an occasional visitor to the Vals, asked me what she had done to upset me. She simply wanted to know what had led me to be so cold to her so she wouldn't repeat it. Well, I was absolutely stunned and embarrassed. I guess in all of my running around and socializing with others, I had neglected to say more than the perfunctory, "Hi, how ya doin'?" I'll admit, I've always been rather shy, but her statement reminded me that I voluntarily assumed a role as a mentor in this community. I just forget at times how significant that can be for others and just how powerful little gestures can be. I apologized profusely, offered to buy her a cocktail, and did what I should have done earlier, I gave her a hug and told her I was in no way mad at her. I know I'm not perfect, but maybe I do need to try a little bit harder to be less flawed. She taught me something about myself and I thank her for that. I'm just sorry I hurt her and didn't even know it.
Every month, this newsletter lists events throughout North America like Southern Comfort. The spring and fall tend to be the busiest times, but there is something available virtually every month in addition to all the local support groups meeting regularly in communities large and small. Southern Comfort '98 is September 30 to October 4, and our own Jennileigh Love will be a co-chair! It's about time she got some gray on that head of hers. And if you see me and think I'm being cold, I swear, I'm not. Reach Out--I'll Be There.
Twenty years ago as I first started down the road to realizing my inner identity, few such resources were available, and information was difficult to find. Not anymore. In fact, I am impressed by the fact that at least four events sponsored by college groups are scheduled around this country during the current academic year. There are GLBT student conferences planned at California State University at Stanislaus (October), the University of Michigan (October), the University of Illinois at Chicago (Feburary), and the annual southeastern conference at Georgia Southern College (February), an event the Vals participated in when Vanderbilt hosted it, although we were not invited to send a speaker when MTSU hosted this past February. Anyway, back in the olden days when I was a college student, my school did have a Gay Students Association, but public events recognizing and celebrating sexual and gender minorities were kept invisible. All of these resources that now exist suggest a society moving in a more open-minded direction from which we can all benefit. So regardless of whether you are in college or not, I strongly urge you to take advantage of such resources if your schedule and finances permit. Maybe if Marv Albert had done so, he could have found a safe outlet for his tastes in Victoria's Secret lingerie (a fairly reasonable interest if you ask me...), and then he would probably not be in so much trouble today.
Have a good Thanksgiving. And when it's time to dress the turkey, don't forget the panties and garter belt!?
Wigged Out
By Jennileigh Love
I have recently made a leap to permanently maul my body in the name of gender expression. Yes, those little gold studs some of you have seen in my earlobe means my ears are pierced . It may seem like no big deal to some of you, but I finally decided that the world could handle it, so I did it. Reaction from my coworkers that don't know that I'm a trannie ranged from mild amusement to complete disinterest. I love it! I've always said that my coworkers think I'm insane, and I skillfully use their misconceptions to my advantage.
We all know about Ellen DeGeneres' much debated coming out episode. Controversy from this TV show is still resonating today. However, I wanted to bring to your attention two of my favorite shows that have openly gay or transgendered characters that you may have missed. WDCN Channel 8, a Nashville PBS affiliate runs the British Comedy, Are You Being Served? The subject of the show is a group of department store workers among which is a Mr. Wilberforce Humphries. Mr. Humphries never states his sexual orientation openly, but the gay innuendoes written in the script make it obvious. Mr. Humphries winds up in drag in tons of episodes and frequently portrays Mr. Humphries' own mother. Another British Comedy featured on WDCN is Keeping Up Appearances which features the misadventures of Mrs. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced boo-KAY) as she vainly attempts to climb Britain's social ladder. Hyacinth's brother-in-law, although he is more frequently mentioned than seen, is a crossdresser. Hyacinth can forgive him of his eccentricity because he's also filthy rich and drives a Mercedes. Hyacinth is also very proud of her son, Sheradon, who is so busy studying at the university with his special friend, Tarquin, that he "isn't interested in girls." Check your local television listings for days and times these shows air.
On October 17th, Nashville was privileged to have Kerry Lobel, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) visit. Kerry's appearance was part of a six city tour across the Midwest and was coordinated by Nashville's Lesbian and Gay Coalition for Justice (LGCJ). The Coalition and Ms. Lobel held an excellent town meeting discussing hate crimes against GLBT people and the upcoming Hate Crimes White House summit. I got to attend the town meeting and even have lunch with Ms. Lobel. The town meeting was an excellent community-building event here. The NGLTF recently changed their official mission statement to be openly trans-inclusive and I encourage all of you to support them. Nashville's LGCJ also announced that they were planning a state government lobbying day in January 1998 and I would encourage any of you who have the time and courage to be part of it.
I have once again survived a trip to Hotlanta , host of the annual Southern Comfort Convention. I think almost everyone agreed it was the best SCC yet. This year, I was privileged to be asked to help with the registration desk, which I enjoyed immensely. It was a wonderful way to meet more folks. This year's convention was more international than ever; we had attendees from Hong Kong, Mexico, and New Zealand. Also, the Vals didn't attend the convention this year as much as they WERE the convention. Aside from my help with the registration desk, the Vals own Marisa Richmond got to do her best Oprah Winfrey imitation acting as mediator of the "Transgender Town Meeting" which took place all afternoon during one day of the conference. We both also were speakers in seminars. The Vals' Toni Barron and Star were vendors this year. The Vals hosted a wine and cheese reception on Friday night. The Vals' own Anne Casebeer and myself were participants in the Talent Show which was a total blast. Southern Comfort's own drama queen, Sabrina Marcus, decided to pick on us during several of her speeches, so the name "Vals" got dropped a lot down there.
And if you haven't heard, I have been tapped to be Co-Chair (along with Stephanie Schumacher of Gainsville, Georgia) of Southern Comfort in 1998. I don't know whether to be ecstatic or terrified. So far, being Co-Chair has been an enormous generator of e- mail. All I know now is I have GOT to do some serious shopping for some new outfits before next year's convention. :)
On the trip back, the Vals own Susan Brown and I stopped again in Calhoun, Georgia. (It's pretty funny that we were also driving a Trans Am!) If you remember from last year, we were approached there by a guy who confessed to us that he was also a crossdresser. Unfortunately, that didn't happen this year. We were both hungry and thought about pulling into the Waffle House. Not being to fond of Waffle House's cooking (all recipes there start with one cup of lard), we spotted a hotel with a building out front, with big white 2 feet tall letters across the front, saying "RESTAURANT". We were convinced we could find food there.
Now, we were travelling on a Sunday. It was around 2pm in the afternoon. Susan and I are very much dressed femme. As we pull into the parking lot, I start to think that every person in Northern Georgia goes to the RESTAURANT after church. It was wall-to-wall people in this place, and they were all doing some serious damage to a hapless buffet. As we waited for our waitress, I observed tubs of banana pudding and chicken casserole vanish in an incredible feeding frenzy. Everyone in this place seemed to know each other, because there was considerable yelling between tables, and there were kids everywhere. Uncontrolled, rampant little rugrats, all of them who had probably never seen a transgendered person, outside of Marv Albert.
What happened when we two trannies entered this den of conservative Americana? Nothing. Not a damn thing. No funny looks. Kids just ignored us. We smiled at young mothers cradling their infants and got smiles back. The food was magnificent home-cooked fare. We talked a bit with our waitress about where we were from and about Southern Comfort. She said that the restaurant "boss" lived in Nasvhille and sang gospel music. I'm sure he'd love for us to come visit some time and tell him how much we liked his restaurant.
As we paid the check, I noticed a bunch of tapes and videos showing the restaurant owner and his gospel group. On this man's head was one of the worst toupees I have ever seen. It's ironic to me that the only wig in that place wasn't worn by any of the trannies there.
See you next month, folks. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.
Left of Center
By Pamela DeGroff
When my daughter Sara was eight years old, she said something to me that I've never forgotten. "Dad," she said. "You know what?"
For those of you who are parents, you know what it means when one of your off-spring starts a conversation with the phrase "You know what?" This is the signal that the discussion you're about to have is going to be interesting.
"No, what?" I answered, thus committing myself for the long haul.
"Well," she said. "I think cats are like women and dogs are like men. Do you know what I mean?"
The truth is that I'd actually thought about that one a time or two myself. I don't mean I sat for hours philosophizing as to whether or not cats and dogs knowingly exhibit human attributes. What I mean is...well, I've noticed things.
This whole bit of conceptual weirdness came back to me recently at one of our monthly T. Vals meetings. We meet at a church in a residential neighborhood, and occasionally some of the local animals come over to check us out. No doubt they're just as intrigued as the rest of the neighbors. Someone usually ends up saying "Hey, the gender hound is back."
I suddenly remembered the conversation with Sara when she was eight. Dogs do act like male humans quite a lot of the time. They're basically slobs, they're fond of rude smells, they have no manners when they eat and drink, and they'll hump anything in sight. Sounds just like some of my friends.
Cats, on the other hand (or paw), are completely different. They're picky about their food, they spend at lot of time on personal hygiene, and they can be very unpredictable. Sounds exactly like my experiences with women.
Okay, having established what almost any pet owner would consider to be a universal truth, let's take this a step further. If dogs act like males, and cats are like females, what would happen if either one of them was transgendered?
I guess the phenomenon would be known as Feline To Canine (FTC), and Canine To Feline (CTF), respectively. A support group meeting of FTC's and CTF's would probably go something like this:
"Hello, my name is Whiskers. I'm a three year old calico, and I've felt like I've been a dog trapped in a cat's body ever since I can remember. I was always the butch one from the litter. When everyone else was playing with a ball of yarn, I was out chasing cars and burying stuff in the backyard. I denied it for a long time- I know I'll never be a beautiful Doberman, but I'm told I'm quite passable as a Chihuahua. By the time I started taking chances, like drinking out of the toilet, I knew I couldn't face this alone. there had to be other tabbies, somewhere, who felt the same way I do about fire hydrants."
Feline To Canines' biggest problem to overcome is the size issue. Because of this, they face incredible peer pressure to use steroid laced Science Diet products. You know, the kind the East German dog racing team used before they were banned.
From the other side of the kennel, we might hear something like this from the Canine To Feline support group:
"...Uhhh, hello. I'm Spike. I'm a Schnauzer. I've always fantasized about being a Persian, but the closest I could come was dressing up like a Poodle on Halloween. That just doesn't do it for me anymore. It's got to the point where I've stopped chasing my tail. Instead, I ordered this cute catnip mouse from a catalog. I keep it in the back of a closet and only get it out when no one else is around.
"I didn't think any of this was noticeable, but the other day we were in the park, and the other dogs started pointing and one of them yelled, `Hey Spike! We hear you use a litter box now...HA! HA! HA! HA!'. I think maybe I shouldn't have worn that jeweled collar.
"Anyway, I guess things could be worse. I mean, it's a good thing I'm the size I am-at least I'm not like this Great Dane I know who's having a hard time passing. The rumor is he's found a vet out of state that will do some surgery for him. It's really expensive, though, and I hear they can't guarantee he'll meow when it's all said and done."
These dogs would no doubt look forward to that trip to the vet for the neutering procedure.
The next time your four-legged friend and/or housemate wanders into the room, check out their behavior very carefully. If there is a need, perhaps we'll have to start another auxiliary group. However, in this case, instead of being known as the Significant Others (SO's), I think we'd have to call it something like the Significant Creatures, (SC's).
Until next time, girlfriends.
Behind Blue Eyes
By Anne Casebeer
At what point does a transperson cease to be a rookie? In sports, it's after a full season. Well, November marks the anniversary of my first tentative steps into the gender world. I'd say that most genderfolk celebrate their coming-out anniversaries, not unlike romantic couples. Recently, I attended Southern Comfort, like many of you, and had a terrific time, but that's a tale I will let others tell. Suffice it to say that it was an impressively-managed gathering that offered something for anyone who can fit under the big pink circus tent with the blue TG logo. Make your plans for next year, you are guaranteed to have a good time.
It's the aftermath of that convention that really marks time and illustrates what I've learned about myself and others in the past year. Following the completion of SCC, I was obligated to drive directly to Atlantic City for the Expocon East Coast Video Show, which is a personal and professional touchstone that I build my year around annually. When you have to make a 650-mile drive, you have a lot of time to think and enough privacy so that you can converse with yourself without having people render value judgments about your sanity and/or lack of same. What spurred the bout of deep thought in the vicinity of Greensboro, NC, was, as usual, a song lyric:
"I woke up this morning, feeling so rested and young, My mind was clear of all the problems that have filled my head, Couldn't quite understand why, I felt so fine, I felt so free, But beyond it all, as I turned towards them, then I understood, it all came clear" Oh, Thank You Great Spirit, Terry Kath ( from Chicago VIII )
I spent quite a few miles between Atlanta and Atlantic City, and again from Atlantic City to Louisville, contemplating what I've learned and discovered about myself and others over the last year. Last year's ECVS came under much more unpleasant conditions, and the contrast between the two periods of time a mere year apart was unbelievable. Confidence is the word that sums it up best. I respect danger and take most necessary precautions, but I've definitely learned that you can do nearly anything crossdressed, and if you can do some of the things I've done in the past year crossdressed, your confidence in nearly any situation will grow exponentially. Spending the 5 days of Southern Comfort crossdressed is expected; traveling to and from there is a bit riskier (or risque, depending on the cut of the dress); but when you take the risk of being discovered by your peers and go out publicly, you know you've made it. The old principal of "act like you belong and everyone will assume you do" usually applies to most situations a transperson faces, and when you pull off the crazy risk and have it pay off, that confidence carries over to your professional and family life, to your benefit.
ECVS is structured much as Southern Comfort is, with seminars by day, and social events by evening. Unlike SCC, you are on your own for meals, but with the convention taking place near the Boardwalk, there is no shortage of possibilities for that - that's something casinos are famous for. The social events are sponsored by movie studios, industry groups, equipment suppliers, and magazines, and are "theme parties". Video store managers, studio reps, and show business people tend, as a group, towards being very wild, flamboyant, and more than a bit crazy. I see many of the same people annually, and they know me, thanks to my unusual last name and tenure in the business; I exchange Email with some of them, in fact. The only real obstacles to open dressing are the fact that my nametag (the wearing of which they enforce rigidly, and which has a magnetic strip so that items you purchase on the show floor can be billed to the store) said "Anthony Casebeer - Video Vault of Okolona", and the fact that I was Video Store Magazine's Handicapper of the Week the very week of the show, which was mentioned everywhere I went. Obviously, attending seminars as Anthony was necessary, but the evenings...well, that was another matter.
I broke the Atlanta-to-Atlantic City trip up in College Park, MD; checked in to a motel, retouched my makeup (I was traveling femme), grabbed a quick meal at Applebee's, and then proceeded to the scene of previous atrocities: the infamous Mr. Eagan's, on Connecticut Ave. NW in D.C. Ginny wasn't working that night, but the tall blonde girl who was made me feel right at home, and one of the regulars who was there the night 'Nessa, Shannon, Sarah, and I visited during Lobby Days happened to drop in. We chatted for quite awhile, and enjoyed a few Murphy's Irish Stouts. I left a note for Ginny, informing her that we'd be lobbying again next spring, and that we'd let her know in more detail when it got closer. A nice, quiet, welcoming evening for a weary traveler.
Monday morning, I had to let "the guy" take over, since I was driving directly to the Atlantic City Convention Center. The Monday seminar ended about 430 PM, and I checked into my room out in Absecon, NJ. (The idea of paying $120 per night to stay in a casino, versus $35 for Super 8 should be obvious.) Anne comes out to play again! I put on a navy skirt and blouse, fixed my hair and face, and went shopping in King of Prussia, PA, which boasts the largest mall in the Northeast, supposedly. I can't confirm that, but I do know this: I had no shortage of possibilities; the only problem was the money involved. Nordstrom's, Bloomingdale's, Neiman- Marcus, and Macy's are wonderful stores, but the prices were more obscene than the adult videos I rent for a living. After returning to Atlantic City empty-handed, while looking for place to dine (My policy when traveling is to never eat at a restaurant that I can enjoy at home), I spotted MY STORE: Value City. Yes, wild and woolly Value City, the trannie's paradise, where you can find, well, the same black velvet dress that Bloomingdale's wanted $155 for, for $29.95. I bought 2! Not to mention some very fancy black Hanes hose with lace thighs for $2! Yes! Yes! Yes! A fast stop at Kmart to pick up makeup, and I was ready for the next night.
Tuesday, I watched and participated in a number of seminars dealing with buying groups, the state or the video business, pay-per-view windows, talked to some of my "annual" friends, and shopped the show floor. The last seminar ended at 4:30pm, and I returned to the Super 8 to get ready for the "Video Business/Video Store/PolyGram Home Video Karaoke Party". Black velvet dress, spike heels, dramatic makeup, curled my hair, painted my nails (which were still "done" from Southern Comfort, but were unpolished for daytime discretion), then gave Miss Thang a look in the mirror, and a twirl, letting my short dress fly and expose my lacy thighs. I can't begin to describe the power I felt: Given a series of days dressed, I get into practice; I had the look right, the voice right, and, frankly, I was hot and knew it! I strutted out the door, keys in hand, and noticed a couple guys do a double take and watch me climb into the van, lust in their eyes. I've had that look before, I'd know it anywhere! Drove to Bally's, parked, and while walking to the casino entrance, I had a passing motorist, male of course, damned near wreck his Toyota Tacoma while looking backwards at me - I shot him a seductive smile and tossed my head, hair flowing. Flirting!!! I took the moving walkway into the casino, a well-dressed gentleman who was escorting an elegant lady held the door for me, and was clearly comparing me with his date! I thanked him demurely, and strutted past the baccarat and blackjack tables, past the slot machines and roulette wheels, out to the Boardwalk, and down to Planet Hollywood for dinner. A bit of lasagna, and then up the golden main escalator that spans 4 stories in the atrium lobby to the Ocean B Room for the party. The usher at the door asked for my nametag, and I demurely asked her this: "I have it in my purse, I didn't want to put a hole in this dress. Could you discreetly look at it, and let me keep it there?" "Sure, hon", she replied, I showed it to her, and she was shocked! "I never would have known! You look fabulous! Nobody will ever know. Have a great time!" I strutted to the cash bar, ordered a glass of wine, and sat down to look over the karaoke selections; selected "These Are Days" and "White Rabbit", handed in my requests, and returned to the bar, where a gent who taught a lecture that I attended earlier in the day bought me the first of several drinks! I looked familiar to him, and he remembered the "guy with glasses" who attended his lecture from my store, but I convinced him that the "guy" was my boss. I sang both songs in femme voice, and not even the karaoke operator was the wiser; he was the editor of Video Business Magazine, and knows the "guy!" My challenge, come the end of the night was threefold: One, how to get out of the casino on 3" heels while tipsy; two, the drive back to the motel in Absecon without spending the night femme in jail in New Jersey; and three: how to get rid of the guy. Mom didn't teach me that trick! I finally told him that my boyfriend was meeting me at 1am for a snack after gambling, and that got me loose. I glided out and proceeded home, brimming with confidence.
The rest of the convention was uneventful and professional. I departed after the Wednesday session, and drove to Pennsylvania, checked into a Holiday Inn, femmed out, then went to a restaurant recommended to me by Angela, the Ship Inn in Exton. The grilled chicken and mushrooms was wonderful, and I returned to the hotel, touched up, and went to the bar to watch the Indians-Orioles game. The two other patrons of the bar struck up a conversation, and read me after awhile; I was truthful - explained to them that I was transgendered, and answered their questions; something I never mind doing. They were friendly, and we enjoyed the game, a few Dock Street Amber Bocks, and some good conversation. Thursday, I put on a little black dress and drove home through PA, OH, and KY, using the rest areas as needed with no mishaps. Home was welcome.
ECVS is, as I said earlier, an annual touchstone for me. Last year, I was very scared, closeted, and knew that I needed to let that other side of me roam free. This year, she was free to run amok, and she had a lot of fun. The lesson here is an old one: you set your own limits. You can do anything you set your mind to, and the limitations are yours to decide upon. I like taking risks, and have few professional or societal limitations on my crossdressing, so I see myself as a pioneer. I don't mind taking the point position for others to follow, and so far, I've found no need for a Kevlar corset. The fun is yours to experience, but being careful is important. I took some definite risks on this trip, but they paid off in fun and an incredible adrenaline rush. Care to join me in public? It's fun out there....
Steppin' Out
By Janelle Davis
Oh, Hi there! Glad you could make it . This is your first meeting? Well, come on in and let me show you around and let you in on what to expect. First of all, when you enter your first meeting, you will probably be greeted at the door by one of the regular members whose responsibility will be to greet you, get you to sign in and possibly to collect a small fee for attendance to the meeting. With some organizations, this first visit is free. At the Tennessee Vals, this task is ably handled by our own Pamela DeGroff.
After signing in, you will be shown to the main meeting area, where you may be in for a surprise. Many of you may think that the people of the transgendered world are of only one variety. Nothing could be further from the truth! The members of the transgendered crowd mirror pretty much what you find in society. You will find several different groups arrayed around the room. Over there, are the "old timers" as my friend Pamela likes to call them), which are simply the ladies or gentlemen that have been members of the group for a very long time and have formed close associations as a result of their memberships. Over here, you might find the more politically motivated members who enjoy becoming involved with the political issues surrounding the transgendered / gay/ lesbian/ bisexual communities. Over by the snack table, you may see a group of transsexual women and men who are currently undergoing hormonal therapy and/or surgical procedures that will allow them to become the persons that they feel that they are inside. Over by the cold drinks table (non- alcoholic at most every transgender meeting that I know of), you will find the married transgendered persons with their significant others with them. I certainly don't want to leave out one of the most important groups that you find in attendance: our newcomers. You may find yourself drawn to them first and that is perfectly normal. Please do make the rounds and visit all of the groups in the room before the meeting actually starts (most groups meet and socialize for a half hour or so before the main meeting begins) so that you can get to know them and visa versa.
The main meeting usually involves getting together in a central area and listening to a guest speaker who was invited there to answer specific questions of concern to your group or perhaps just to impart so general knowledge useful to the group at large. Either way, most all of the presentations that you attend will have something of value to you as a newcomer. Don't be shy either. If you have questions and concerns, please share them with the group. You will be surprised how helpful the members can be as most of them have "been there and done that" and can offer shortcuts and advice to you. I know that I learned a world of things on my first visit to the Tennessee Vals ( Thank you Susan and Marisa!!) and you will too.
After about an hour or so, the meeting usually breaks up , with the various members going off in groups to further enjoy their evening. You may be invited to go out to the clubs to dance the night away or you may be invited to go out with some of the other group members to eat at a local restaurant or whatever. Here is where you have to decide for yourself where your comfort level lies. It probably took all the courage you had to just get dressed and come to this meeting ( or perhaps you came to the meeting place early and dressed there. Some groups have special rooms set aside for changing and some may not). You may not feel ready to step out that far yet. Whatever you decide to do, whether to stay or go on home, please don't be shy in voicing you needs at this particular point. The members will understand if you decline their offers to go out on the town after this visit. Many of them didn't go out after their first meeting. You decide what is best for you , at this point. There will always be a meeting next month and you may feel more like painting the town after your confidence levels begin to rise (and brothers and sisters, you confidence level will definitely begin to rise with each and every meeting that you attend).
Well, the main meeting is about to start! Grab another snack from the table and find a seat. Enjoy your first meeting because I guarantee you that you will always remember it! And hey, we are so glad that you are here and look forward to seeing you each and every month. Welcome to the group, brothers and sisters!!
Social/Support Group Growing in Knoxville
By Windi Knight and Deanna
Knoxville, the home of many transgendered guys and girls, has always been pretty short on places to go to meet others who have at least one very important thing in common - a secret identity which they are learning to share with others. Earlier this year, a group known as SWANS (remember the story of the ugly duckling who became a beautiful swan?) was formed. Each month new faces have emerged from their anonymity to find a warm, welcoming group of friends in SWANS who understand their story.
SWANS is a fun place! Meetings are at 7:30 p.m. on the last Friday of each month in Knoxville. Open to all members of the transgendered community (all female and male wannabes), SWANS is a safe, congenial gathering where discretion and confidentiality are honored. Spouses or partners are invited too - everyone is made to feel welcome and a part of the group.
On the October 31 meeting, Halloween night, everyone was encouraged to come dressed as their favorite fantasy person (not too hard for most of us!) - even if that person is just you dressed in the gender of your choice. Come as you feel comfortable (femme or not). A dressing area is available for individuals who prefer to undergo metamorphosis after they arrive. Our next meeting is November 28 (the day after Thanksgiving). The December meeting is December 26. If you are lonely or just want to celebrate the holidays in your favorite gender we will be there. Join us!
Interested individuals may contact Jamie c/o windi-knight@geocities.com or Deanna at DeannaLF@aol.com, or write to SWANS c/o Alternative Counseling Center, 4901 Jacksboro Pike, Knoxville, TN 37918 (telephone 423-687-8990) for more details.
Book Review
Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism ($16.95, ISBN: 1-57344-072-8, Cleis Press, San Francisco, Distributed by Publishers Group West)
Pat Califia needs no introduction for lesbian and gay readers. Her writings on sexuality, pornography, censorship, S/M, and other controversial topics have earned her the reputation of a fearless defender of the rights of sexual minorities -- and a fearless intellectual adversary.
Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism is Califia's honest, meticulously researched analysis of the contemporary history of transsexuality. Based on in- depth interviews with gender transgressors who "opened their lives, minds, hearts, and bedrooms to the gaze of strangers," Sex Changes demonstrates Pat Califia's hallmark candor and insight.
Writing about both male-to-female and female- to-male transsexuals, Califia examines the lives of early transgender pioneers like Christine Jorgenson, Jan Morris, Renee Richards and Mark Rees; partners of transgendered people like Minnie Bruce Pratt; and contemporary transgender activists like Leslie Feinberg and Kate Bornstein. Includes bibliography, resources, index.
Pat Califia is well-known as a sharp critic of repressive American attitudes toward gender, sexuality and pornography. She is the author of many books, including Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex. Califia lives in San Francisco, where she works as a therapist, primarily serving the gay/lesbian and transgendered communities.
Book Excerpt:
What would it be like to walk down the street, go to work, or attend a party and take it for granted that the gender of the people you met would not be the first thing you ascertained about them? What impact would that have on how you treated them? Or on how they treated you? What if gender was no longer a marker for privilege, certain personality traits, or roles in the family? If gender was a sexual fetish or a symbol of your ability to provide certain types of erotic or spiritual experiences, how would you put your public persona together? What would you want other people to know about you first? Would it be more important to identify your totem animal, astrological sign, career goals, dietary needs, religion, allergies, or degree of sexual availability to passing strangers than it would be to identify your gender?
If you could change your sex as effortlessly in reality as you can in virtual reality, and change it back again, wouldn't you like to try it at least once? Who do you think you might become? What is that person able to do that you don't think you can do now? What would you have to give up to become oppositely sexed? What would change about your politics, clothing, food preferences, sexual desires, social habits, driving style, job, body language, behavior on the street? Are you able to imagine becoming a hybrid of your male and female self, keeping the traits that you value and abandoning the ones that are harmful?
What would it be like to live in a society where you could take a vacation from gender? Or (even more importantly) from other people's gender. Imagine the creation of Gender Free Zones. These retreat centers could be maintained by a new class of rude (as opposed to civil) servants. And what would it be like to live in a society where nobody was punished for dressing up in drag? What if it was taken for granted that cross- dressing was a normal developmental phase? Let's expand the definition of drag so that it applies to any other fantasy role that someone needs to act out so they can obtain nourishment or hidden knowledge. What if we all helped each other to manifest our most beautiful, sexy, intelligent, creative, and adventurous inner selves, instead of cooperating to suppress them? What if cross- dressing and other forms of gender blending became markers for wise people, healers, and visionaries instead of a signifier of sexual perversion and shame? What drag is hiding in your personal closet, kept there by the threat of violence or ridicule?
If these questions frighten, offend, or annoy you, you are one of the people who stand to benefit from transactivism--although it probably doesn't feel like your benefactor. And if these questions amuse, engage, and challenge you, you're probably a transactivist already. Welcome to the genderevolution.
(c)1997 by Pat Califia. All Rights Reserved.
AEGIS Internet News, 4/23/97
The Uneasy Gay-Trans Alliance
All too often, arguments about whether transgendered issues have a place in the movement for gay civil rights come off like a bad episode of the McLaughlin Report. A lot of posturing and one-liners, and only the true political junkies stay tuned in.
Many gay political leaders take the position that we are asking way too much too soon from our heterosexual allies by including transgendered issues in our movement and civil rights legislation, effectively destroying any real chance at winning equal rights for gays-- at least in this lifetime. The Human Rights Campaign has taken this approach and has included only sexual orientation-- and not gender identity-- in its Employment Non-Discrimination Act, for example.
To many, this attitude smacks of the same "my- civil rights-come-first" attitude that lesbians endured in the women's movement of the '60s and '70s.
Transgendered activists, on the other hand, often resort to demanding a place at the gay rights table because gender-benders have always been "in the forefront" of "the movement." And invariably, they trot out the fact that the 1969 Stonewall riots were started by drag queens. Whatever the moral force of that argument, it's unlikely to win many hearts and minds. Just ask the lesbians who had hoped that their commitment to AIDS causes might win over a little reciprocal support from gay men on lesbian health issues like breast cancer.
For transgendered folks, on the other hand, the struggle is to convince a skeptical heterosexual majority (along with a sizable number of skeptical gay men and lesbians) that gender, for some of us, is psychological and not purely biological. Among the more radical element, transgendered activists go a step further and argue that gender is a prison from which we all should be liberated.
Besides these more obvious differences, many gays feel additional discomfort because much of the education process around sexual orientation issues involves debunking myths about whether gay men and lesbians are the way we are because of our own gender identity issues.
Even in the late '90s, it is not at all uncommon for a well-intentioned straight person to wonder out loud whether men are gay because they are uncomfortable being men, or for a lesbian couple to be asked which one "plans the wife" and which one "plays the husband." Burdened with society's stereotypes, so many gay men, especially, have had their own struggles reconciling being gay with being a man. Not because their gender didn't seem a good fit, but because their sexual orientation didn't. For them, joining hands with the transgendered movement reopens those old, internal battles.
But perhaps, even at this move vulnerable level, there is some unexpected common ground. Being gay has always been about challenging gender roles. Living openly as a man who loves another man strikes many heterosexuals as unnatural primarily because "that's not what a man is supposed to do."
The Hawaii Supreme Court even said as much. We will win the right to marry in that state not because the Court accepted that heterosexuals and homosexuals are entitled to equal dignity under the law, but because those judges recognized that preventing a man from marrying another man is a form of gender discrimination based upon prejudice about proper gender roles.
Moreover, lesbians and gay men have always found to expand the scope of gender roles. As many a straight woman has complained, it is gay men who have proven that emotionally sensitivity and personal flair are not incompatible with masculinity. And as the history of the women's movement will attest, lesbians have long been in the forefront in challenging notions about what it means to be feminine.
Still, there is at least a difference in degree between stretching the bound of gender and crossing the line entirely, much less liberating us from gender as some arbitrary construct imposed by society.
Understanding these differences, and determining how they play out in the middle of a struggle for our basic civil rights, is a task of no small order.
As we homosexuals are so fond of telling our heterosexual counterparts, education is the first key to understanding our differences. Open and honest communication should follow-- without fear of being labeled an "ist" or a "phobe" of some sort.
So let's leave the partisan bickering about political realities and historical obligations to the self- appointed leaders of the gay and transgendered movements.
At least until they sort things out for the rest of us, gay people and transgendered people need to talk freely about what makes us tick, and what we can reasonably expect from each other.
By Chris Crain, Etcetera, 10/3/97
Chronicle of a Self-Made Man
An excellent front-page story of the Sunday, September 21 San Francisco Chronicle features James Green, a leader of the female-to-male (FTM) transgender community. Below a full quarter-page shirtless picture of the well-built, bearded Green, the headline "A Self-Made Man," is followed with the lead-in, "When James Green was a little girl, he saw Mary Martin play Peter Pan and knew right away he could do a better job." Staff writer David Tuller says that Green "wants people to understand one thing about masculinity: It has more to do with a man's inner life than with his genitals." Tuller takes pains to explain how FTMs have struggled for visibility even within the transgender community, and the difference between "sex" ("the biological category represented by the genitals") and "gender" ("the psychological identity that nestles wherever a person's most intimate sense of self resides--in the mind, or in the soul or in the heart"). Filling two inside pages, the text continues by recounting Green's appearance in almost erotic terms: "His voice is deep and rich as chocolate. His arms and upper torso are thick and muscular. His beard is full, and his hairline is receding. His booming laugh explodes across the room like a grenade," Tuller writes. In addition, the inner pages feature nine pictures of Green, from early childhood to adulthood, with his brother, as a woman with her daughter, and with his girlfriend.
Alternating between descriptions of Green's life and discussions of the logistics and politics of FTM surgeries and the struggle for transgender rights, Tuller represents a full, well-rounded group of perspectives on Green and the issues of FTM transgender people.
To feature an article on FTMs in a major daily newspaper is exceptional. To do so with such sensitivity and at such length, and to illustrate the article with so many photographs brings the subject to life, making readers see both the common humanity and the differences and challenges that FTM transgender people embody.
AEGIS Internet News List 9/30/97