Vals logo Index of Contents
The Queen's Throne
Got Mick?
1997 Year in Review
A Tale of Two Honky Tonk Women
Speaking of Books - Honor and Slavery, Read My Lips
She's Out There! By Debbie Fraker, Etc.
Keep Away Sister, You'll Get Me Read!, By Jane Ellen Fairfax

December 1997 - On-Line Edition


Current Events

December 13 Meeting: Hilton Inn Suites, Church Street and Overlook Drive, Brentwood, Tennesseee. We will host our Fifth Annual Anniversary/Holiday Party.

Future Meetings:

*January 10: Discussion Circle, Relationships (...Or Lack Thereof)

*February 14: (Valentine's Day) Transgender and the Law (tentative)

March 14: Pride Travel - Alternative Vacation Getaways (tentative)

April 11: Board Elections

* Note that winter meetings may be cancelled because of inclement weather.

Highlights from the November Meeting: Special thanks to Dr. Bill Turner of Nashville's Lesbian and Gay Coalition for Justice for being our November guest speaker.

Vals Board of Directors Meetings: December 19, January 22, February 26, 6:30pm at the Center for Gay, Lesbian, Bi, and Transgendered Life in Nashville, 703 Berry Rd., (615) 297-0008. Board meetings are open to all members, so please attend.


Her Majesty, The Queen, Marisa

The Queen's Throne

By Marisa Richmond

Another year is now at an end. The Vals have managed to survive five years. When I think back on where we were in December 1992, and what we have accomplished this year alone, it makes all the hard work seem worthwhile. We had wonderful support for Room in the Inn, a big turnout for the Pride Ball at The Parthenon, and an exciting week of Pride activities including the annual Transgender Mixer which this year featured Terry Murphy of Atlanta. All this culminates with the annual Banquet this month which figures to be bigger and better than ever before. It has not always been easy, but it is impossible to put into words how enjoyable this has all been.

This past year has been especially fun for me. I attended three major gender conventions: California Unity in Long Beach; Congress of Sex and Gender in Valley Forge; and Southern Comfort in Atlanta. When I arrived in Long Beach in April, I had laryngitis. When I left Atlanta in October, I had laryngitis. Fortunately, I managed to get my voice back for all the times in between. In addition to the conventions, I visited three support group meetings and several different nightclubs around the country. I even made it to The Otherside twice after the bombing. During my travels, I renewed acquaintances with several old friends, and established relationships with several new ones. On the down side, I did meet one local support group leader in New York who I found to be inexcusably rude and abusive to all present. Recently, she even had a hissy fit over my September column in which I ridiculed her hissy fit over my July column. She is now refusing to accept our newsletters. Previously, she ripped apart our newsletters sending back the item that offended her and, as I discovered, she does not share information with the rest of the group (who were nice by the way) unless it showed her in a glowing light. The others can still read our newsletter off the Web, and, fortunately, her immature, boorish behavior is the exception, not the rule. I realize I get out and travel more than some people, but regardless of where you live, just remember, there is a wonderful world of transgendered people out there waiting to welcome you. All you have to do is step out the door and join us.

Last month's newsletter contained a wonderful description of an average meeting by Janelle Davis. She did, however, make one statement that is a bit misleading. She said the snack table is where the transsexuals can be found discussing hormones and surgery. That is actually where the "old timers" can be found feeding their (our) faces, regardless of category. Confident transgendered people of all varieties tend to attack free food.

Life, of course, has its ups and downs, and mine was not without its own trials and tribulations. In 1997, I had an important long term relationship come to an end, I lost one of my parents, and I never did receive a promised wristradio and magic decoder ring. Obviously, some of these events were more trying and stressful than others, but in each case, I maintained a positive attitude and quickly got back to living my own life. I never let anything get me down for very long and I did not blame any of them on blondes, conservatives or El Nino. In fact, the only time I did not stay active was when I contracted the flu this fall. It prevented me from participating in Nashville's annual AIDS Walk, although I did recuperate enough to see Penn & Teller. While I was sick, it was hard to do anything substantive. My head felt like there was a small extra-terrestrial being trying to pop out of it, and all of my joints, from my neck to my toes, just ached, while I was simultaneously chilled and soaked with sweat. So if you have to make excuses, claim to be sick--but not for the entire year.

There was an interesting item in the October issue of The Femme Forum, the newsletter of Tau Chi of Houston, which they reprinted from the November 1996 newsletter of Ingersoll Rand. It was about geese. We have all seen their V-formations flying overhead every fall and spring, but did you know that every goose takes a turn leading the V? They share this responsibility equally. And when a goose is at the back, s/he honks (I never knew geese "honk"; You learn something new every day.) encouragement to those in the lead. How often have we all seen others who refuse to lift a finger to lead our groups, and yet they sit in the corner--or increasingly get on the Internet--and complain about all they dislike? When challenged to accept responsibility, they come up with one excuse after another on why they "can't" do any work or that nobody will "let" them do anything. Homo sapiens is supposed to be the most intelligent species on earth, but it seems we can learn a few lessons from geese. Our next board elections are coming in April, but since all board meetings are open, you do not have to wait until then to assume some responsibility. Whether you like what is being done or not, GET INVOLVED!

It is no secret that representatives of AEGIS, IFGE, and Renaissance had planned to begin a Feasibility Study to determine the ease and desirability of a possible merger. Despite rumors to the contrary, a merger was by no means Signed, Sealed, Delivered. The idea emerged from the Gang of Four dinner meeting held this June in Pennsylvania at which we conspired and plotted the total takeover and domination of all gender community activities (as some might tell it...). Due to some confusion on our parts regarding the logistics of organizing such a study, it did not get off the ground for several months. An initial meeting of the Feasibility Study committee was finally scheduled for mid- November. Unfortunately, just days before the first meeting, the board of Renaissance announced its withdrawal from the study. Angela Gardner, the Executive Director of Renaissance and the gender community's own Celine Dion lookalike, stated that "other organizations were not interested in a merger." I happen to know that is simply not true. While there were individuals on each board who expressed concerns and reservations, all three groups approved the Feasibility Study and, until this decision, were willing to wait and see what it recommended. Speaking solely for myself as an active member of the gender community, I feel a merger is in the best interests of all. It would end redundancy in providing resources and eliminate competition for funds from a limited constituency. I am greatly saddened and disappointed in the decision made by Renaissance.

In early November, I attended a dinner to raise funds for The Center for GLBT Life in Nashville. At the end of the evening, one woman came up to me and complimented me for an excellent speech I gave at a Spirituality Conference earlier in the year. That is the first time I have ever been praised for a speech I did not give at an event I have never attended. I don't know who is going around town imitating me, but it is nice to know she is giving good speeches.

Finally, most of you know NASA lost contact with the Sojourner Rover on Mars this fall, but did you know the reason why? According to my informed sources, the last picture sent showed a Martian with a bad hairpiece trying on panties and a garter belt. He said, "Antos me kano polu polu thumomenos" (Translation: "Oooo, this makes me very very angry"), and zapped Sojourner with his Eludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. I thought enquiring minds would want to know. Remember, you read it here first.

I hope your holiday season goes well. Maybe then, I'll get my wristradio and magic decoder ring.

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Miss Jenni

Wigged Out

By Jennileigh Love

Got Mick? There we were, the Vals own Anne Casebeer and I, surrounded by 44,000 of our closest friends. The occasion was a rock concert by some rock band from England that a few of you may have heard of. They had a few hits back in the 60s, 70s, 80s and. uh.. the 90s. Yes, the Rolling Stones were under my thumb in Nashville on October 26, 1997 It was their first show here since 1972.

You may ask, were we dressed? Well, of course! We could hardly attend a concert naked, especially one in fall at Vanderbilt Stadium, although I can hardly speak with authority about the clothing status of the people at previous Stones concerts. If you are curious, we two honky tonk girls dressed in sort of "stealth drag" mode with full makeup, hair and accessories, and simple tops and pants. Flat shoes were a must. Why did we go en femme to see these rock'n'roll legends? Honestly, I couldn't think of any reason not to. Besides, I really wanted the chance to toss my bra at Mick Jagger.

We managed to hop a shuttle bus from my neighborhood that dropped us off in front of the stadium. Riding an MTA bus was something I have never done femme, but it was much easier than fighting for parking at Vanderbilt. As we shuffled into the stadium, opening act Sheryl Crow could be heard starting the show without us. The crowd to get in was packed tighter than a drag queen's tuck. The folks around us either didn't read us as trannies or didn't care. I did hear someone behind us say, "Is that a couple of guys up there?" I thought about saying "YES!" in a nice deep baritone voice, to clear out the crowd a little, but decided against it.

Sheryl put on a fine opening act and I even got to yell a "You Go Girl!" at her offstage. From our seats, you could see her and her entourage enter an awaiting limo. Then the Stones hit the stage at dusk and played a solid two hours. Anne remarked that Mick seemed to be wearing the same pants as Sheryl Crow. From "Satisfaction" to "Brown Sugar", the show was electric. Perhaps as a tip of the hat to Nashville, they played the country-like "Far Away Eyes." I liked it, liked it, yes I did. The show ended with an avalanche of confetti and fireworks that were a gas, gas, gas.

Because of our cheap seats, I was too far away from the stage to throw my bra. Oh well, you can't always get what you want.

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Left of Center

By Pamela DeGroff

PART ONE

I know that by the time you get to this column, you've already read some of the other articles. (That's an assumption on my part, of course- I would hope you save the comedy relief for last.) Anyway, please forgive any redundancy , but what kind of writer would I be if I didn't offer up my mildly subjective viewpoint in a year end column?

Last year at this time, I was laid off right before Christmas, and spent almost two months without work. I'm not a person who enjoys the holidays to begin with (well, I do like those little cookies everyone bakes), but Christmas of `96 was depressing enough to make oral sex with my pistol seem like a viable option.

Right before I went home to Ohio to see my parents , I stopped in to see Jim Hawk and his partner Tony Teal. I told Jim what was going on, and that if nothing positive happened soon, I was considering moving back home and starting over. He looked right at me and said , "No, you're not leaving Nashville. I want you to stay, because too many people who care have left the community. We'll do whatever it takes to keep you here."

I really needed to hear that. I'm glad I stayed and I have to say that 1997 has turned out to be an incredible year, not only for myself, but for the T. Vals as an organization.

I won't even attempt to catalog all of Marisa's travels over the course of the year. Fortunately, her job allows for this, plus she can afford it (thank God.) It's through her work that the T.Vals have gained the national recognition that we have. You might say that our very own hometown girlfriend is now considered a national leader in the Transgendered community.

Jennileigh has also had an incredibly active year. She taught a class entitled "Crossdressing 101" for the Fetish Ball, which is sponsored by the B&D group Rose and Thorn. (Several members of the T.Vals are also quite active in this group.) Jenni also was in a musical production entitled "The 10% Review", in which she sang an original composition she wrote especially for the play.

Jenni also took on areas of responsibility that have made her quite well known in the local community. She was the TG representative on the Pride Committee, and was recently elected to the Board of Directors of the Center here in Nashville. She serves in the capacity of Web Site Mistress.

One of the members of the T. Vals Kentucky Contingent, Anne, has gotten heavily involved in local politics in Louisville. She has also made trips to Washington DC to be a part of lobbying effort concerning transgendered rights. All of this is on top of writing for several TG newsletters, managing a business, and consuming mass quantities of dark beer.

In November of last year, we were invited to appear on a local cable access show called "Left Of Center". (I had nothing to do with the title-they owe me royalties!) Jennileigh, Toni, Bonnie, and myself, participated. The show has been aired several times, and I'm always meeting someone who has seen it.

1997 was also the year when the Nashville LesBiGay community became known as the LesBiGayTrans community. Jim Hawk of Stonewall Mission Church was instrumental in including the title "trans" in all the mailings and literature the Center puts out. Other community leaders such as Penny Campbell and Bill Turner either were speakers at our meetings, or wrote about us.

During Pride Week, you almost couldn't attend an event without tripping over a Tennessee Val. I know that Jenni, Rebecca, and myself were at something every night . Of course a lot of the other T. Vals were present, but apparently we're the ones with the most time on our hands.

We brought in Terry Murphy as our speaker for the Transgendered Mixer, and had about 20 people in attendance. The T. Vals DragOn, created by Jenni, wound up near the front of the parade, right after the Grand Marshal's car. We won a prize as the best walkers.

Toni and Deanna sold T-shirts of their own creation during the celebration downtown. They had quite a lot of competition, but they made a good showing. Free enterprise rules!

During the Pride Ball and the Night In White, we made our presence felt, in one way or another. (And I ripped off as much food as I possibly could from both events...)

On a personal level, I had a very good year. During Pride Week, I was Stonewall Mission Church's sole representative for the annual Spirituality Celebration. I also started writing for one of the local Gay papers called Xenogeny. I'm their first-and only- transgendered writer, and I have Linda Welch and Del Dorr to thank for giving me this opportunity. I had one of my articles reprinted in book form, along with other TG works, in Trans-scriptions, which is published by the Gender Identity Clinic of Colorado. Jennileigh had several of her cartoons published in the same book.

Recently, I've been asked to serve on the planning committee for a community fund raising event to be held on January 31. And perhaps the thing that I am the most excited about is that I was asked by certain people connected with The Center to help reorganize the Gay Cable Network that broadcasts on community access television. We've renamed the thing GLBTV, stay tuned, there's going to be a lot of good stuff connected with this.

I feel that 1997 has been a very important, almost pivotal year for the Vals. We're five years old now, and that's something to be proud of. Many groups don't survive that long. Not only are we still around, but we're thriving.

This has not been without some growing pains. If you remember the September newsletter, the one where all of us columnists PMSed at the same time, you'll note that we sometimes have to deal with issues ranging from conduct at meetings to misinformation concerning medical procedures. But we're willing to deal with all of this because we care.

I don't think we had a single meeting this year where there wasn't a "first timer" present. If this is not a sign of growth, I'm not sure what is.

PART TWO

Talking about growth is one thing - financing it is another. As you've probably noticed by now, we've increased the number of pages in the newsletter. This makes for more information and other good stuff, but it also makes for increased postage.

We purchased a phone card this year to aid Toni in returning membership calls. The cost of the card should actually be cheaper than standard long distance rates.

From time to time, we have brought in speakers from out of town, which means we pay their expenses. When we can afford to do this, I really feel it's a wonderful thing for us to provide. It makes the meetings more informational and diverse, plus it's another way to keep us in the national spot light....but, it's expensive.

We used to have the newsletter duplicated by different members who had access to copy machines through their work place. We no longer have this available to us, and instead we are now using the services of a local copying/office supply firm. The following is a run down of what it cost to run the Tennessee Vals for one month:

Postage  $55.00
Duplication $48.71
Voice mail  $15.42
Meeting fee  $20.00
Supplies $50.00* (envelopes, paper, etc.)
Refreshments $30.00*
Misc. $25.00
$244.13 Total average monthly expense

*These figures will vary from month to month.

Some of you have asked if we have yet received a tax number so that contributions can be deducted. It's quite a complicated process to apply for one, and we were told by an attorney that we are not yet at the place financially where we really need it. Perhaps in time.

As you can see, it's over $200.00 a month just to function. Since our only source of income is from dues and meeting fees, I hope you can understand why I tend to get a little bit bitchy about having to chase people down for their money. We're not in this for the money, but we can't make it happen without it.

If you have ever enjoyed a Vals meeting, and we've managed to provide anything useful for you, then please realize we're all in this together.

PART THREE

Doing a year end column is risky because I no doubt invariably left someone, or something out. Pardon me if I did, but its the result of old age and too much time in 5 inch heels. (I do know of one joke I forgot to include in the above text - I call my Xenogeny column LEFT OF CENTER, so as not to confuse anyone.)

At any rate, this has been an incredible year. I want to welcome all the newcomers-we're very glad you're here; we need your input more than you realize. I also want to thank everyone in the Nashville LesBiGay community who supports the T.Vals in one way or another. You've taught us a lot about what can be accomplished when we all work together.

1997 was the year I realized what it is to be transgendered. And I'm damn proud to be a Tennessee Val.

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Anne

Behind Blue Eyes

By Anne Casebeer

Have you met any gin-soaked barroom queens from Memphis lately? Did any of them try to take you upstairs for a ride? No? You obviously weren't in Vanderbilt Stadium October 26th, when the Rolling Stones brought the "Bridges to Babylon" tour to Nashville. So, aside from the fact that Mick Jagger is an original gender-bending mascara-wearing rock star, what does this have to do with your friendly neighborhood gender group newsletter? Well, Editor Jennileigh decided that Mick's visit needed to be covered for this publication. Unless you plan to get no satisfaction, a job of this magnitude is just too difficult to be handled by just some girls, and we made a team effort of this. Of course, when the chance comes to see the Stones in concert, wild horses can't keep me away. It might only be rock n' roll, but I like it. We briefly considered soaking ourselves in gin for the occasion, but changed our minds when I remembered that I can't stand martinis. Since neither of us are from Memphis, we decided that to properly cover this story, we had to go ahead and be queens instead, which is a risk in itself in a crowd of 44,000 some-odd fans of the World's Greatest Rock N' Roll Band. But, as Hunter S. Thompson always preaches, a reporter must do whatever is necessary to COVER THE STORY AT ALL COSTS. After all, it could be the last time they will tour, I don't know. I started up later that I expected, so I never stopped the entire way to Nashville, and arrived with seconds to spare, looking like a rainbow. Time waits for no one, after all, but this time, it was on my side. Jenni handed me the ticket, which I put in my purse and kept safely under my thumb, and we boarded the bus for the trip to Vanderbilt. Upon leaving the bus, we were engulfed in a massive crowd pouring through the turnstiles, and we slid on by, despite the fact that we were dressed like honky tonk women. Fortunately, both of us are sufficiently practiced at the art of deception, Sheryl Crow was providing the soundtrack as we made our way to our seats, and she was right; if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad.

Sheryl Crow finished her set, and we waited for the sky to be painted black, so the full splendor of the lighting and pyrotechnics that makes a Stones concert special could unfold. Around 6PM, the lights dimmed, the video monitors came on, and Mick Jagger and friends emerged, singing "Satisfaction". There are no other groups that can unload the arsenal of great rock n' roll songs that the Stones can, and unload they did: "Flip the Switch" and "Anybody Seen My Baby?" from "Bridges to Babylon", "Honky Tonk Women", "Sympathy for the Devil", "Jumpin' Jack Flash", "Miss You", "Sister Morphine", "Faraway Eyes", "Start Me Up", "Gimme Shelter", "You Can't Always Get What You Want", "The Last Time", "Little Queenie", and "Brown Sugar", to name a few selections. This is the 6th time I've seen the Stones in concert, but the first time since 1981, and they have never been sharper musically than now; Darrell Jones is actually an improvement on bass over Bill Wyman, in my humble opinion. Jagger does not move onstage like a man in his 50s, and Keith Richards looks remarkably healthy for someone who has already died many times over. They also brought keyboardist Chuck Leavell, formerly of the Allman Brothers Band, and Bobby Keyes on tenor saxophone, as well as an excellent background vocal section and a couple of brass players; they added greatly to the sound. Our seats did not give the greatest view of the stage, but well-placed video monitors filled in what we were unable to see, and the sound quality was excellent. Following the concert, we took the bus back out to our vehicles in Donelson, and dined at Ruby Tuesday's. Following that, I had to become the midnight rambler, and head back towards Louisville.

Now, going to concerts isn't unusual for me. I've attended countless rock concerts in many cities, but the manner of attire was important here. Both of us took the calculated risk of going femme; it was a cold, windy day, and we dressed as two women would dress for such an occasion. Despite being crunched into a crowd of 44,000 people, we were largely ignored. Is that because we pass? No, at 6' tall and 215 pounds, the only way I can say I'm sure to pass is on the interstate, I'm realistic enough to know that. The point of doing things like attending a Stones' concert femme is this: acceptance. It should not matter at an event like this one how people choose to dress, and for a crossdresser like myself, that's all I'm seeking: the right to present as I wish without repercussions. The more times people see us out properly attired, the easier it gets. I'm finding that nearly anything I'd enjoy doing in male mode works femme, if common sense is followed. Common sense involves dressing for the occasion. Yes, we all enjoy 3" stiletto heels, micro-mini skirts, and tight tops, but only for the right occasions. If you are going to a Stones' concert, try a pair of jeans and a sweater, or leggings and a sweatshirt, for instance, which is what we did, and what a genetic female would have worn. When we dress appropriately, even if we're clocked, we don't come off as being too unusual, or at least we raise questions and doubts. At this point in my life, I enjoy questions about my presentation from anyone, and never mind answering even the most inane questions about why I might wish to go out in public in a dress and makeup. It's part of my life; one I'm at peace with and enjoy after many years of denial, suppression, and hiding; and a lifestyle I'm proud of. If they ask about it, I'll tell `em. We make friends one at a time, and nearly every time I get out in public, I get that chance. It's easy to go to "gay" bars and clubs, but the education happens when we go out in "straight" public, and that's what I'm enjoying most these days; the thrill of going most anywhere and doing anything, and having the chance to legitimize our presence in society with the general public. It's working.

Freedom and Mascara!

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Books

Speaking of Books

Honor and Slavery: Lies, Duels, Noses, Masks, Dressing as a Woman, Gifts, Strangers, Humanitarianism, Death, Slave Rebellions, The Proslavery Argument, Baseball, Hunting, Gambling in the Old South by Kenneth S. Greenberg (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1996, ISBN 0-691-02734-X, $24.95)

By Marisa Richmond

Honor and Slavery is not a book about transgendered people per se. Rather, Greenberg of Suffolk University in Boston, discusses a society dominated by white males and their definition of honor and the role that it plays within their sub-culture. This does, however, include one brief chapter in which Greenberg analyzes crossdressing as it relates to masking and within the context of 19th Century definitions of honor among self-proclaimed Southern gentlemen.

The chapter on dressing as a woman is called Masks and Slavery. Greenberg states that presenting a crafted public image, what he calls the wearing of masks, is a common feature among self-described Southern gentlemen. Dressing as women was only a small part of this, but it did exist. For many Southern gentlemen, it was the process of being unmasked, and having their true nature revealed, that was most humiliating. This what happened to Confederate President Jefferson Davis.

After the fall of Richmond, Davis, like many other Confederates, fled south. He was finally arrested in Irwindale, Georgia in May 1865. At the time of his capture by Union soldiers, Davis was found wearing women's clothes. Davis and his wife Varina later explained it by saying he had accidentally picked up his wife's coat in the dark and confusion, and that she had subsequently thrown her shawl over his head and shoulders. This led to characterizations that Davis was "cowering under a petticoat" when found. While the stories circulated in the press were clearly exaggerated, they were meant to humiliate Davis to suggest that any man who would dress as a woman was weak and cowardly.

All of this does call into question the definition of the term "Southern gentleman." This is a person who is strong and secure in his masculinity and is chivalrous not only towards women, but towards opponents as well. Unfortunately, like most myths, it is has little basis in fact. Two recent examples of behavior by Southern gentlemen are probably more indicative of the way most Southern males think and act. One occurred in September 1977 after Ted Turner of Georgia won the America's Cup. At the post- match press conference, Turner got drunk on champagne, proclaimed "we worked our bee-hinds off...," and then promptly slid under the table. In 1992, Charles Barkley of Alabama told a reporter in Barcelona during the Olympics that the other basketball teams "need to take their butt whipping like a man and go on home."

The antebellum South was a highly stratified world. Greenberg maintains that status was tied to rules of honor. It is, therefore, interesting that Greenberg felt crossdressing did not challenge Southern definitions of honor. It was just one more mask. The goal, regardless of mask, is to pass. It was being unmasked (read or clocked in transgendered terminology) that was the ultimate humiliation. Once that was done, it pratically lowered one to the status of a slave.

Honor and Slavery does provide an interesting thesis of crossdressing and its relationship to Southern society. Other than one additional anecdote about J. Marion Sims of South Carolina, the "father" of American gynecology, who attends a Charleston theatre dressed as a woman with a medical college classmate after the masquerade ball they intended to attend is cancelled, Greenberg offers no other evidence of how common this phenomenon may have been. It is logical to assume, however, that crossdressers at that time would have found a way to express themselves even if it was only through an occasional masquerade ball or trip to the theatre. Most importantly, Greenberg suggests that crossdressing did exist in the antebellum South among honorable "gentlemen."

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender by Riki Anne Wilchins, ($16.95, ISBN: 1- 56341-090-7, Firebrand Books, Ithaca, NY)

By Jennileigh Love

The author of this publication needs little introduction. Riki Anne Wilchins is a well-known leader in the gender community. From her work with GenderPAC,, and the self-described "dis-organization" known as the Transexual Menace, Riki is one of the gender community's most well known members. In her first book, Read My Lips: Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender, Riki's views of postmodern gender theory are discussed at length. The book is sometimes hysterical and often profound and sexually explicit.

Riki describes details from her youth that many transsexuals can identify with. She describes the feelings she had of desiring the opposite sex and simultaneously wanting to become the opposite sex. One vivid image from the book was of her playing in the sandbox with all the other boys and being jealous of a female classmate who was carried away by a teacher so she doesn't get "dirty." She describes her feelings of shame as a victim of incest from her father and resisting the temptation to blow his head off on a hunting trip.

While Riki writes as an advocate for the genderqueer movement, Riki does not like to identify herself as being transgendered. Riki states that participating in the system of oppression makes one part of it. We can't be "queer" unless we acknowledge that there is also someone who is "not queer." Thus we, as transgendered people buy into and perpetuate the belief that we are abnormal. It would be impossible to transgress gender rules (and for homosexuality to exist) if the rules didn't exist in the first place.

Riki also describes her many struggles within the lesbian and gay community, including the protest of the Michigan Womyns' Music Festival and the protest of the 1994 Gay Games in New York City, which defined strict rules for transsexuals who wished to participate. Her challenges to the limits of what makes a woman (and a man) are a recurring theme in the book. Riki challenges the assertion made by some lesbian organizations that transsexuals are "men who are mutilated by deranged surgeons to invade women's space." She notes that the lesbian argument fails to consider the women who desire the male sex organ and the ambiguous genitalia of the intersexed.

Riki's humor really comes through in her list of the "Top 17 Things to Never Say to a Transexual", which was published in Girlfriends magazine, previous to the publication of the book:

"Don't #15: Is it true that transexuals are `women trapped in men's bodies?'"

"Yes, that's right. In my own case they had to call in both the Fire Department and the EMS and even then it took them hours to cut me out. Luckily I had my Walkman and some wonderful Judy Garland tapes so it wasn't too awful a wait."

Aside from the deep thoughts about gender, the book provides an excellent chronicle of the recent transgender activism, detailing the activities of the Transexual Menace, GenderPAC and the gender community's growing alliances with other queer organizations. The history is accompanied by a photo spread.

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"She's Out There"

By Debbie Fraker, Etc. Magazine, 10/24/97

What is your gender? Okay, then, what is your biological sex? My guess is that you feel pretty certain about your answer, since most of you who are reading this magazine consider yourself lesbian or gay, you must have pretty definite idea of your sex in order to identify yourself as homosexual. But, this is me asking, so it's probably a trick question.

Frankly, on a simple biological level, some of you would probably be surprised. Do you know, for instance, your chromosomal makeup? As to your cultural gender, how closely do you fit the American ideal of male or female? I have done a lot of reading on this subject lately, and it is a much more complicated question than you might guess. (Have you seen k.d. lang lately?)

But I also just went to the Southern Comfort transgender conference held in Atlanta earlier this month. I must admit first off that I felt like a kid in a candy store. Admittedly, I was like a kid in a candy store without cash, since my relationship kept me from doing anything but flirting. But flirt I did! So many of the women were gorgeous, and female-to-male transgender men really get me going. At the risk of appearing to idealize and stereotype a group of people, I often see the best of both genders in transgender men and women. I also find myself aching with desire for bodies that are the epitome of gender f***.

But this is also a political issue for me (I don't suppose that surprises anyone), and I don't want to sound like I am only interesting sexually objectifying transgender bodies. Too often I have heard people offer "support" for queer youth or people of color when, if you listen to the subtext, what they are really saying is "I want to f*** one."

Transgender politics are the issues that should be at the forefront of our movements. Feminist politics certainly have a lot to learn from a gender movement that brings us all together rather than dividing us into binary subsets. This gay and lesbian movement also should recognize gender as the issue at the core of our oppression.

For years the feminists have reminded us that gender oppression is at the root of prejudice against lesbians and gay men. We do not operate in the neat little categories that our culture expects us to inhabit, particularly the categories labeled "man" and "woman."

For starters, according to our culture's idealization of these labels, men are supposed to be sexually attracted to women and vice-versa. We come along and totally screw up that arrangement. Men are supposed to "act like men," not nellie limp-wristed perverts who throw like girls. Women are supposed to be "feminine," which means, of course, that bulldagger car mechanics are nothing more than a joke on womanhood. Some of you may want to remind me of lipstick lesbians and gay gym-butches. But if you think putting muscles on a gay man or make-up on a lesbian makes us more gender acceptable to mainstream straight America, you just don't get it.

But a lot of lesbians and gay men (and certainly feminists) also "don't get" transgender politics. Is a post- operative male-to-female transsexual just a transvestite who has mutilated himself, as some still believe? Is a female-to-male transsexual a traitor to feminism? And, of course, transsexuals are not necessarily gay or lesbian, so they don't belong in "our" movement, right? In many ways, transgender queers subvert the whole concept of sexual orientation, so maybe they just confuse the issue too much.

Then again, maybe they don't belong in "our" movement. Maybe we should politely ask them to charge to the front, leading the movement to abolish gender prejudice of all kinds. We should be learning together what the real issue is here. We should recognize that gender oppression affects us all.

I bet that because you were born with your penis, you think that makes you more of a "man" than the man whose penis was constructed for him (at a very high cost, I might add). Maybe because you were born with your vagina, you think you are more of a "woman" than the women who went through years of name-calling, humiliation, and saving money to finally get her own built-in vagina.

When a redneck bully drives up beside you as you casually walk down the sidewalk in midtown and shouts "faggot," what does he mean? He just means that you aren't "man enough" to suit his image of a "real man," regardless of your hard-earned muscles. When a woman in the ladies' room whispers to her friend between dabs of make-up, "She's just a dyke," the "just" means you're not a real woman, even if you do wear the same brand of lipstick. When someone wanders past a feminist rally and loudly proclaims,"They all just need a good f***," doesn't that mean that, straight or gay, a feminist is not the right kind of "woman"? A transsexual woman is likely to get called a faggot whether or not she ever was. She has clearly not treated her penis with the appropriate respect (any more or less than a gay man does).

But, just as we are being told we don't fit gender expectations, we turn around and say the same thing to someone else. Aren't we all struggling against the same oppression here?

Okay, so me personally, I'd like to do a little more than just "get along." But that's only one fantasy. Another fantasy is that lesbians, gay men, feminists, bisexuals and transgender folks all learn that our struggle is, at its heart, the same. Instead of an increasing laundry list of gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender tacked onto organization names, I could get behind a banner that proclaims Queer Pride. I don't see that happening anytime soon.

But in my other fantasy, when I find myself on my knees doggie-style submitting to some lovely gender queer pervert, I know that I am no more or less gender- acceptable than he or she is.

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Keep Away, Sister! You'll Get Me Read!

By Jane Ellen Fairfax Tri-Ess, Tau Chi newsletter

There was no denying it. Carolyn was a beauty! With her lovely auburn hair amplified by perfectly- matching extenders, immaculate makeup, soft, sultry voice, and carefully cultivated mannerisms, she was the very picture of a lady. Not surprisingly, Carolyn was proud of her ability to pass in public. So it was hardly unexpected when she approached the organizers of a Holiday and demanded, "Keep the group away from me. They'll get me read!"

Passing has always seemed to me a sterile pursuit. Most crossdressers feel hurt when they hear derogatory comments from people who read them. To some extent, then, attempting to pass is an understandable defense mechanism. Even so, the concept has always struck me as selfish and intellectually dishonest. Some criminals attempt to pass counterfeit money as real. Crossdressers are not, and should not try to be, counterfeit women. But there is nothing bogus about our femininity. It is real! Our ability to express our feminine potentials is a true gender gift. Why hide it? Recently, however, an insidious and cruel element has crept into our community, one which threatens the very foundations of support groups. Some "old guard" types are actually suggesting that novice crossdressers be excluded from outings because they will get the group read. Not only is such an approach futile, it is disgustingly heartless to sisters most in need of support.

Such behavior is not only insensitive, but futile. Buoyed by wishful thinking, most crossdressers convince themselves they pass better than they do. Even very polished crossdressers have little imperfections in their presentations. When a group of them go out in public, these little defects magnify one another, and the whole group usually is read. So why not lay aside ineffectual attempts at deception? Why not be satisfied with achieving the best possible feminine presentation, and go out and meet the public?

Nor does the crossdresser intent on passing accomplish anything toward the cause of public education and acceptance. If he should pass, who, except for his ego, is the better? If he does not pass, he misses out on some golden opportunities to educate. Instead, he does our cause real harm by inviting ridicule not only for being a crossdresser but also for being unable to blend successfully.

But it is on the unfortunate novice that the most destructive effects fall. When a new member emerges, she approaches the chapter with much trepidation. Perhaps she has labored for months on her feminine image, hoping her sisters will find her acceptable. Her self-esteem is a fragile flower that a gust of insensitivity can easily blow away. Can you imagine the effect of such a boorish remark as, "Keep away, Sister. You'll get me read"? Her self-image crushed, the novice will probably retreat back into secrecy, never again to emerge.

Every Tri-Ess sister [and other support group members - Editor] should be aware of this destructive behavior and do everything in her power to discourage it. If chapter peers make it clear that excluding sisters from outings is unacceptable, the offenders may find it advisable to pursue their social deception in more appropriate settings. Nurturing the newcomer and the less-skillful sister should be a high priority for everyone in Tri-Ess. Should an attempt be made to exclude a sister from an outing, mature sisters should speak up immediately and emphatically, inviting her along and reassuring her that her presence is desired. While the group will be read, peer support will facilitate the adjustment of the inexperienced sister. Having enjoyed the outing, the new sister will want to become more and more a part of chapter life. Doling out positive reinforcement between meetings also helps the novice build self-esteem, and warms the heart of the giver. A little love cancels out a lot of thoughtlessness.

Now back to the story of Carolyn. Although her sisters felt hurt by her request to be left alone, they honored it. Some time later I was en homme in the hotel restaurant, dining with a colleague, when Carolyn, aloof and supremely confident, strolled past. "Well, would you look at that!" exclaimed my colleague. "That's a man!"

Support or self-indulgence? The choice is clear.


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