Vals logo Index of Contents
Marisa Visits Indianapolis
Bulgarian Shotput Team Visits Toronto
Bubba n' Milton's Debate
Behind Blue Eyes
Speaking Of Books
AEGIS and ITA! to Merge
"Make me a girl when I wake up..."
Vals Board of Directors Election Results

May 1998 - On-Line Edition


May 9 Meeting: Makeup, Lady Kia (followed by Pride Ball) - meeting will run from 7-9PM

June 13: Holly Boswell, Phoenix TG Support (Asheville, NC)

July 11: Discussion Circle, Open Topic

August 8: Cookout

September 12: Xenogeny Columnist, Del Door (proposed)

October 10: 4th Annual Halloween Party - We wanna see your best costumes, so prepare early!

November 14: TBA

December 12: 6th Annual Anniversary/Holiday Party

Future Board Meetings: May 28, June 25, July 23. Board meeting locations are at 7pm at an announced location. Everyone welcome.

Tennessee Vals Special Events:

Saturday, May 9, Pride Ball, Parthenon (New Date!)

Thursday, June 11, Transgender Mixer, Site & Time TBA, Holly Boswell, Phoenix TG Support (Asheville, NC)

Saturday, June 13, Night in White: Absolut Arctic, Fundraiser for Nashville CARES, Regal Maxwell House Hotel, 8PM


Her Majesty, The Queen, Marisa

The Queen's Throne

By Marisa Richmond

Last month, I mentioned the annual Pride Ball at The Parthenon. Since I wrote that column, the event has been moved to May 9, the same night as our meeting. We have moved the cookout back to August, but we do expect Lady Kia of Rose-n-Thorn, who is giving a makeup demonstration, to help anyone who wishes to attend the event later in the evening. Last year, we had a great turnout from the Vals, and I expect to see more this year. Also, the Night in White, the big annual fundraiser for Nashville CARES, has been moved to June 13, the night of next month's meeting. We plan to keep our meeting on schedule at the church before heading to the Regal Maxwell House for the party.

Getting out to events like these two is quite a lot of fun. It does not mean that anyone has to get up and dance because each and every person sets their own limits. All of us probably have various things in our lives we wish to do. Admittedly, we all have to set priorities and I realize You Can't Always Get What You Want, but if getting out and expressing yourself as you feel comfortable is a serious desire, then you owe it to yourself to do just that. There is a big difference between fantasy and reality. Fantasy is thinking about all that you claim you want to do, and making excuses for why you "can't" do it or will do it "soon." Reality is when Anne, Jenni, and I got up and sang You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman"recently at The Chute. I know full well my singing voice is not going to get me a recording contract anytime soon, even here in Music City, but if you say you want to do something, the only thing holding you back is your own fear.

It was with a combination of amusement and interest that I read the March/April issue of The American Enterprise, and its cover story on Nashville as a typical "boomtown" of the heartland. There is little question that Nashville's diverse economy is strong, but there were a number of things which the editors said, and did not say, that are worth noting. For one thing, TAE is a decidedly conservative publication, so it is no surprise they would heap praise on Governor Sundquist, but it is still quite a stretch to portray him as one of the nation's most brilliant governors when he is probably one of the dumbest. More importantly, however, is that beyond a couple of pieces about former Councilman Vernon Winfrey (Oprah's Dad) and Fisk University, and a couple of paragraphs about Nashville's large African-American community and small, but growing, Asian and Latino populations, there was no mention of the numerous battles that have been fought by women, ethnic minorities, or the GLBT communities to gain a foot in the door and break through the good-ole boy network. Oh sure, they acknowledged that Mayor Bredesen had overcome fears of "carpetbagger" rule (He is from upstate New York with a degree from Harvard), but it is worth noting that many groups have had to fight for political, social and economy equality in Tennessee, and many of those battles are ongoing. Over the years, conservatives in the business, political and religious arenas have maintained that various groups must stay in their "place." Most social conservatives have historically been uncomfortable acknowledging their own prejudices and do not wish to celebrate diversity. Those attitudes have been maninfested in the hostility expressed by Councilman Charles French and Rev. Mel Perry (who protests everything...) to the 1994 Gay Softball World Series and the appointment of Dr. Kathleen Maloy to the Metro Human Relations Commission, and, more recently, by the ignorant remarks made by Knoxville resident Reggie White (who could use the "gift" of common sense) to the Wisconsin State Legislature and ESPN in late March. The gains that have been made have occurred because of the determination of various individuals and groups over the years to overcome the intransigence and resistance of those who despised them. We must do the same. This year is an election year, and the month of May features a number of local elections in counties throughout the state. Many of those positions are judicial ones. The law, like anything else written down, can be interpreted many ways. If we in the gender community are not diligent in studying the candidates and voting for open minded candidates and against those who despise us, our conservative opponents, who are well funded and organized, will elect people who will think nothing of limiting our few rights even further.

On a lighter note, I took a business trip in early April to Indianapolis (City motto: "We blame Fort Wayne for Dan Quayle."). My first night in town, I went to a Pacers game. I spent much of the next day doing the usual touristy things. I drove by the Madame Walker Theater, which was built by Madame C. J. Walker, who had to overcome both sexual and racial prejudice to become the nation's first African-American millionaire. Then I drove past Bush Stadium (now 16th Street Speedway). It was once the home of the Indianapolis ABC's and the Indianapolis Clowns. Segregation in baseball represents a part of this nation's racist past that still stains the country's history. I then visited the Indianapolis Motor Speedway where I took the 15 minute bus lap of the track--doing all of 35 mph. They should have let me take my own car out there. The speedometer has 140, but I've never been able to take it up that high. I was also quite disappointed in the track's museum. I am certainly no auto buff, nor am I a fan of auto racing, but I felt they could have shown the race in some sort of social context. In particular, it needed to be less celebratory and more analytical about issues such as gender and racial discrimination. After all, no woman was allowed to participate until 1977 (Janet Guthrie) while no African-American was able to do so until 1991 (Willy T. Ribbs).

From the Speedway I went to Crown Hill Cemetery. It is the final resting place of President Benjamin Harrison, three Vice Presidents, and bank robber John Dillinger. According to legend, Dillinger had one rather impressive physical attribute. I don't know if it is true, but I certainly felt fulfilled after visiting his grave. I also wanted a cigarette, and I don't even smoke....My last evening in town was spent at a club called The Ten (1218 North Pennsylvania Avenue, 317-638-5802, $3 cover). It was a quaint, dance club, with a predominately female audience that featured three female impersonators that night, one of whom was from Cincinnati. The DJ played a lot of old dance music. I cannot remember the last time I heard The Electric Slide actually played in a dance club. Anyway, the people I met and talked with there were nice, but the best part is that it did not close until 3:30! Now, I had not intended to go out on my own. I did call the local support group, IXE, a full month before I drove up there, but they never returned my phone call--and I did speak slowly and clearly and left my name and phone number twice. It is a good idea for anyone traveling to contact the local group in advance since people everywhere are often willing to meet with and entertain visitors. They do have other commitments in their lives, but those groups also have a responsibility to respond to inquiries in a timely manner.

Just before I went to the club, I watched the episode of Cops that was filmed here in Nashville. While our recent visit from the Metro Police was disappointing to all (we were expecting Community Liasion and got Crime Prevention instead), the scenario on Shelby Street with the guy in the mini-skirt with no underwear was hilarious. I thought it was especially funny when Officer Kristen Vanderkooi instructed him on how to bend down in a skirt rather than bend over, so as not to flash passing cars. Elsewhere on television, we have seen an increasing number of transgendered images. While I watch very little on the free networks these days, I have noticed mention of several shows in columns written in numerous other newsletters. While not all of these images are positive, and while many others are of non-transgendered people who dress for reasons (e.g., the decidedly unfunny Ask Harriet), we do seem to be out there. Perhaps one day, we will actually get a show of our own that presents serious discussion of transgender issues and the forms of discrimination we face.

American television moguls could learn much from foreign movie producers. Recently, I went to see two films, Bent and Ma Vie En Rose. The former is a British film (featuring Mick Jagger as a drag queen) about the persecution of gays in Nazi Germany beginning in 1934. The latter is a Belgian film about a young child, Ludovic, who realizes at the age of seven that he should be female. It deals with Ludovic's struggles to be accepted and the pain that others' prejudices causes. Each film is a powerful statement about intolerance, but the rating of `R' for Ma Vie En Rose is ridiculous. The film supposedly had nudity, violence, and sexuality, but I saw a lot more skin and violence in Return of the Jedi, and there was absolutely no sex in this film. Nonetheless, both films have now left Nashville, but when they come out on video, you owe it to yourself to see them.

I hope I am ready for the Return of the Cicadas later this month. I was still in the closet back in '85 and I have no idea how to dress for locust invasions.



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Miss Jenni

Wigged Out

By Jennileigh Love

O Canada

This year marks the first year that our national organization, the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) truly lived up to the "international" in the title. IFGE hosted Crossing Borders, it's first conference outside the United States in Toronto, Ontario, with a little help from the good folks of Xpressions, the local transgender support group in Toronto. Because I had never been to Canada and it sounded like a great spring vacation, (and the Labatt's and Molson flow freely up there) I decided to pack my bags and head north. The Vals own Susan and Shena went also.

A large discussion about this conference was what to do about the international border. Many of us prefer to travel dressed as the opposite gender, and have flown throughout the United States with no problems. However going through customs and immigration could be daunting. I must tell everyone, though, that aside from a few questions about where we were going, crossing that border was no problem, even without a passport.

Upon arrival in Toronto, the first thing you see is the CN Tower, the landmark that makes the cityscape quite unique. The tower was even visible from our Air Canada flight. On Saturday, some of us made a quick visit to the tower and went up in it. Now, for you girls who are in wigs, I definitely wouldn't recommend going out on the caged observation deck. Out there, winds blew at around 50 miles an hour. My coif was nice and frazzled , so wigs that aren't well pinned on would probably end up in Lake Ontario, or on top of the Skydome. Another highlight was the glass floor deck, where from some 1,100 feet below, someone can look up your skirt.

Anne, Erica and Jenni in the CN Tower
Anne, Erica and Jenni in the CN Tower

Dewey's Pub at the Toronto Colony Hotel ended up being a nice gathering place for the convention (and a great place to quaff a few Dewey Nut Brown Ales). On Thursday night, we were joined by a group of high-schoolers on their senior trip from Ann Arbor, Michigan. We shot pool and chatted about who we were. Their openness and acceptance of us gave me a lot of hope for future generations of transpeople.

Toronto itself was "da bomb!" The city itself was friendly, safe and clean. The temperatures were a balmy 14-16 degrees (That's Celsius. For all you metric impaired, that's around 60-70 degrees Fahrenheit). I prepared for a Canadian winter vacation and packed my fuzzy coat, but never really used it. As the Lady Bunny said in Wigstock: The Movie, "Mother Nature must be a drag queen," because she really smiled on our visit. Myself and a few of the gals from the Bluegrass Belles from Kentucky (a Torontan referred to us collectively as the Bulgarian Women's Shotput Team) hit Toronto tourist highlights such as the aforementioned CN Tower, the Royal Ontario Museum and Yonge Street. Several times we invaded Eaton Centre, the premiere downtown Toronto shopping mall. The exchange rate up there really allowed the American dollar to go far (once you got used to all those loony and two-ey coins!). I'm still convinced that the Canadian $5 bill has a portrait of my grandmother on it! (Wrong, Jenn, it's just some queen-Ed.)

The IFGE conference coordinator was Southern Comfort's own Terry Murphy and I want to thank her for again putting together a fabulous conference. One highlight of the conference was the luncheon speech by Hon. Keith Horton of the Ontario Human Rights Commission. On Thursday night, we invaded the Famous People Players dinner theatre, home of a world-famous blacklight puppet show. I especially enjoyed the trip backstage to see where they make the puppets. I declined to take the conference to Phantom of the Opera (which I had seen in Nashville only 2 days prior) and Rent, which is coming to Nashville next spring. If you haven't heard, James Green of FTM International was this year's winner of the Virginia Price Lifetime Achievement Award (and deservedly so). The Xpressions crew, Miqqi Gilbert, Lynn, Pam Geddes, Lillian, Melissa and countless other Canadians really put on a great show and made us all feel welcome. There is a rumor going around that the Crossing Borders conference may become a recurring thing. I think it's a great idea and look forward to returning to Toronto some day. IFGE's next conference will be April 7-11, 1998 in Orlando, Florida. I may not have won the Super Bowl, but, I am going to Disney World!

The Toronto nightlife also deserves mentioning. We took a short cab ride to the Church Street area, which is where most of the gay bars are, such as Woody's and The Barn/The Stables. While In The Ghetto, we encountered many ladies of the night, a very friendly gay couple who gave us the grand tour, and another trannie, who was apparently just out for a stroll. We managed to invade several establishments, including the Bamboo Club, Trax and Studio 619. As Stephen Wright likes to say, "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." Proving that the world is indeed a small place, we ran into a trannie from Bowling Green, Kentucky, who was had never heard of the Tennessee Vals, the Bluegrass Belles or anything about the conference. She felt that she had to go all the way to Toronto to crossdress. Needless to say, we hope to see her in Nashville or Louisville very soon. The destination for the final night of the conference was El Convento Rico (The Love of Dancing), a Latino/Salsa Club on College Street at the edge of Little Italy. The place was packed to the rafters and very hot. Latino disco music was really moving the crowd and all the gender people from the convention were out there in the frenzy. It was a fantastic expression of joy and diversity, and a great way to end the conference.

After a very nice brunch and a few more hours of shopping, we hopped our plane back to Music City. I had on a Toronto Maple Leafs t-shirt, jeans, and full makeup and jewelry, but I had been in the hot airports all afternoon and was feeling & looking pretty unladylike. I'm sure my beard was peeking though the makeup and all I wanted to do was get home. As I hefted my garment bag, a baggage attendant politely asked,

"Can I help you with that, Ma'am?"

What a way to end the trip!




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left arrow

Left of Center

By Pamela DeGroff

I think I need to start getting out of the house a little more often. Maybe it's only because of the weather. You know, spring in Tennessee means that if you don't like the weather, you can wait a day and it'll change, usually from one extreme to the other. This tends to make me restless and irritable because I prefer consistency.

So here I am, sitting at the keyboard, trying to come up with something for this months column, when I get that feeling that I'm being stared at.

"Hello, old girl", says a very familiar voice. "How ya'll hangin'", says another.

Nuts. There goes the neighborhood, and my concentration for the rest of the day. (For those of you who might not remember, I'm visited occasionally by a Redneck and an Intellectual. In the movies, people who are facing a particular dilemma usually have an angel and a devil perched on each shoulder. Not me-heck no. I get these two clowns. I must have had a better time than I can remember back in the '60's.)

"Look, guys, I'm glad to see you again, but this isn't a very good time right now."

"Aw, hellfire, darlin', we was just wantin' to speak at ya a while", says Bubba, the Redneck.

"Quite true, old girl", concedes Milton, the Intellectual.

"OK", I said. "But let's make this quick. I have this column I'm trying to work on, and you guys are just taking up valuable time."

"Actually", said Milton, "all we want is for you to help clarify a point. You see, Mr. Bubba here doesn't seem to grasp the fact that there is a definite difference between all the various members of the transgendered community."

"Durn straight, skippy", Bubba chimes in. "Always thought all you fellers were perverts anyhow. It just don't make no sense why a man would want to wear a dress."

"Look, if you guys had been paying attention to all this stuff I've been writing, you might have figured it out by now.."

"Quite right", Milton sighs. "But please, humor us. It would help to hear it from you directly."

"Alright, here goes. But pay attention this time. Think of it this way-use the term 'transgendered' as a sort of umbrella term. If you were doing an outline, your sub-points would be transsexual, transvestite, crossdresser, transgenderist. The term transvestite isn't used much anymore; crossdresser is used in its place. All of these groups include both males AND females, and all of them are considered to be transgendered."

Bubba is very confused at this point. He has that look a dog has when it can't figure something out.

"But what about sex?" he asks.

"What about it?"

"Yes, really, old girl", says Milton. "Where does sex figure into all of this? And if we're talking about sex, let's set some parameters, shall we?"

"Parameters...? Why?"

"What I mean", says Milton, " is what kind of sexual activity is included in the transgendered experience?"

"Now we're talkin'", says Bubba. "It's about time we got to the good stuff! What kind of sex? Gay sex, straight sex, sex every other Tuesday? What we talkin' about...? Huh, huh, huh...?"

"Bubba, hold it..."

"Dad burn it, I been holdin' it fer so dang long I got me a cramp. I wanna talk about sex! I wanna talk about oral sex, and I don't mean just give it some lip service!"(Author's Note: Sorry folks, that joke was there so I went for it. Now, back to our regularly scheduled weirdness....)

"TAKE A COLD SHOWER AND SHUT UP!....okay, okay, lets be calm about this. The truth is that sex has little to do with being transgendered. Who you are as a person involves more than just your sexuality. "

"I've been trying to tell him that", said Milton, shaking his head. "I swear, that's all he ever thinks about. It's gotten so I can't take him out in public anymore, all he does is drool every time he sees a blonde..."

"Oh yeah? What about you, Perfesser?" retorts Bubba. "You wanna talk about almost gettin' run over by a bus the other day when you was watchin' that Oriental chick on the other side of the street?"

"Well....er, uh...it's just that I happen to have a deep admiration for the gracefulness and beauty of Oriental women. So petite, so svelte, so..."

"Hey, Prof. Yer glasses are foggin'"

"HOLD IT!! Okay, so let's not talk about sex. What else do you guys want?"

Milton wipes off his glasses, puts them back on, and then reaches into his pocket for a small note book. "Bubba brought up some interesting points of consideration, so I made a few notes on the way over in order to organize my thinking. Let's see, where shall we start? Oh, yes...here it is. Question: Do you think the media adequately portrays transgendered people?"

"Geez, guys, I thought you said this wouldn't take that long? But I don't mind commenting on this one. Personally, I think the movies have done quite a decent job , although a very limited one, of showing trans people in a positive light. What worries me is the small screen. That's TV to you, Bubba. Anyway, I don't feel we're treated very well there. Gays and Lesbians are being portrayed in a more positive fashion than they used to be. But TV looks at transgendered people as only a bunch of big, ugly, hairy guys in dresses, done for comic relief. When we can get represented by accurate representations of gender life issues, then I'll feel we have arrived in TV land. And forget any representation of female to males. It's probably a long time coming before these guys find a place on screen, but it needs to be done. In any discussion of gender issues, both the male and female perspective has to be there. We definitely can't rely on junk like Jerry Springer to do for us, and do it right."

"Hey, I like that show", yells Bubba. "Why, I seen a guy on there the other day who looked a lot like my Auntie Thelma Mae, right after she got hit by lightning."

"Bubba, this is serious..."

"Also, one thing I think you guys need to know about is the issue of discrimination. People who are going through the Real Life Test can still be harassed and even fired from their jobs simply for being who they are. It's all up to the employer on how they want to deal with these folks.

"Look, guys, I really appreciate you asking these questions, but I need to start working on this column, I'm kind of drawing a blank for this month."

"Well", says Bubba, "why don't ya dress up real fine and go party your brains out like ya used to do. That's all ya did when ya first started dressin' up."

"Really, old girl", adds Milton, "maybe a night out would help."

"You know guys, I'm gonna pass on that. I think it's time I stayed home for a change and concentrated on a few things with a little more meaning. Thanks for dropping by. See ya."

You know something, girlfriends, sometimes that's really the way I feel. Does change signal coming old age? Does this mean a more serious attitude? Sensible low heels? At any rate, I feel it's time to start making a difference.

Next time, girlfriends.




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Anne

Behind Blue Eyes

By Anne Casebeer

So, what's a nice girl from Kentucky doing editing a newsletter for the Tennessee Vals? Well, you elected me to the job, so I have you right where I want you, my little pretties....Seriously, there are a number of reasons why I let my ego override my fear and common sense to run for this job. The members of this group, for some reason, decided that I could be trusted with the job that Jennileigh Love has done so well for so long. A lot of it hasto do with the fact that I knew Jenni wanted to go on from this job after serving long and well, and I wanted her to have the chance to move on to a different position without worry. Many of you are probably aware that I'm edit the Bluegrass Belles' newsletter already, so I have some proven ability to make WordPerfect walk, talk, and do stupid pet tricks. Most importantly, this is the first transgender contact I made, and I want to give something back of value to this group, both those who've helped me and those who are now realizing that one can and should be proud and happy to be transgendered. Editing this newsletter is the most practical way I can serve, given the distances involved, and more importantly, the demands of my career and familial obligations. Of course, I have fun doing this kind of thing, and if it isn't fun, it isn't worth doing. In any case, this is the first political campaign that I ever was involved with that actually resulted in victory - every candidate or initiative I've ever worked for went down to defeat; of course, I'm also a Red Sox fan.

Now that you know why I've decided, agreed, and wanted to edit this august publication, I will describe for you the logistics of how we're going to fly this contraption, and how we'll make it work together. There won't be any changes in editorial policy because, frankly, nothing is broken. I'm sitting in the cockpit of a plane with a very solid airframe. I see many of the newsletters other groups publish; this one has consistently been in the top echelon in quality of writing and graphic layout, and I intend for it to stay that way. A transgender support group newsletter exists for a number of reasons. It's a chronicle of the lifestyles of transgendered people in this time period. It's an outreach tool, something we can give to a new contact that will let them know that they aren't alone, not to mention the people who, like me, found this world on the Web. It's the face of this group for the greater transgender community, as well as with other community organizations and providers of services to TG people. It is an outlet and showcase for the talents and skills of our membership. It's a news source, a listing of upcoming events, nearby groups, and a journal of news of interest to our community. Most importantly, it's a service for you, the reader, the member of this group, the member of a TG group in another city that knows us, or possibly someone who might want to be a member. If we aren't providing the service you want, or have suggestions, let me know. Please don't suffer in silence if you don't like what you see - we can't serve you if we don't know what you would like to see.

I have developed some good sources for national TG news; I subscribe to Transgender Forum and access the Transgender Community Forum on America Online. I also get Transgen, which is an online discussion digest; this is largely a support bulletin board, but recipients regularly post local stories to it, plus a number of community notables post to it. Lastly, newsletter editors get to see other support group newsletters on an exchange basis. The general rule to these sources is that if you ask, they will let you publish. What I don't have is access to local news in Nashville, so if you see an article or column of local interest, please don't assume I know about it. I suppose the best thing to do is to name you, the readers of this, as the news staff. Clip the article, share it with me, I'll obtain the necessary permissions, and we'll share it with everyone. Marisa has been doing this for Jenni for some time, and I appreciate very much the fact that she will continue to do this, but don't take it for granted that she will see every article you read. I won't be mad if I get duplications. Please note that nothing will be printed without the direct permission of the author and editor, or those magic words "for press release."

Marisa, Jenni, and Pamela are going to continue writing columns for the foreseeable future, and that makes me happy as an editor, because I know that I will have high quality, newsworthy, thought-provoking, entertaining columns to print each month. The 4 of us are not the only members of this group who are capable of writing. Many of you have interesting things to say and stories to share, and I'd like to invite you to share them. You can walk, you can talk, you can fight, but inside you have something to write. Do not feel that you have to do a monthly column - you can write a one-time-only story or article, or write on a "rotating" basis, or even just do a "letter to the editor." I would ask that you use the language and writing skills that you hopefully learned in your grammar school years, but don't be paranoid about minor mistakes - my job, as editor, is to proofread your work. Making your contribution look good is in the best interests of you, the group, and this publication, but I'm not nthe type to overedit your work. Likewise, I'd like to see humorous and artistic submissions. Jenni will continue to do her TG Life cartoons, thank goodness. You will not be seeing drawings of mine in this or any other newsletter, because I simply can't draw at all. If you are at all inclined this way, here's an outlet for some of your work. Submissions are best made in .bmp, .gif, .cgm, or .tif formats, for ease of insertion. The only things I ask is that you not plagiarize other writers, launch personal attacks (flames) on others without good reason or solid facts, or misrepresent opinions as facts. We have an obligation to treat people fairly, and to make certain that truth and opinion are kept separate, because society already accepts too many misconceptions about transgendered people as being fact for us to add to it within our community. This newsletter has a reputation for being an accurate source of information, and that will be maintained at all costs.

The mechanics of making a newsletter aren't a mystery. I use, as stated above, WordPerfect , which is loaded on my home system, my laptop, and my work computer. WordPerfect allows one to make a template, to which you insert files to create the newsletter. It will automatically number, make tables of contents, and allow for formatting. WordPerfect will accept files in most word processing formats, and I have MS Word 97 on my home system to convert those files that WordPerfect won't take. The only word processor files I can't accept are ClarisWorks, and if you are a Macintosh user, you can submit using your text or ASCII option, which I can insert. Another good idea is for you to e-mail your submission to me at agc@MCI2000.com. You may also stuff the disc or page in an envelope, and mail it to me at PO Box 20173, Louisville, KY. 40250. Once it's assembled and draft copies are printed, the Vals' board inspects the results with a fine-toothed comb. Corrections are made, then the newsletter is printed and sent to you, and the online version in HTML code will be given to Jenni, since she will continue to handle the web page. That was my biggest fear of taking the job, because developing websites drives me to drink, a short trip indeed.

My goal is to publish a graphically interesting, factually accurate, entertaining newsletter that is as close to perfection as transgendered human hands can make it. Jenni was able to achieve this, month in and month out, on a consistently high level, for several years. I seriously doubt that I will have this job as long as she did, for a number of personal reasons, and if any of you want to learn how it's done, I'll be glad to show you how I do it in preparation. My challenge is to approach her performance, but it's one hell of a legacy to follow. I thank you for your confidence in me and welcome the challenge, because to achieve excellence, you must aim for perfection. It's the attitude I have towards my businesses, how I manage my family responsibilities, and it works in the transgender community as well.

Freedom and Mascara!




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Anne

Speaking of Books

By Marisa Richmond, PhD

Sex Seen: The Emergence of Modern Sexuality in America by Sharon R. Ullman (Berkeley & Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1997, ISBN 0-520-20954-0)

Sex Seen is a work covering the Progressive Era up through World War I. Sharon Ullman, an historian at Bryn Mawr College, shows how society attempted to define "proper" public heterosexuality. While she concentrates on events in an around Sacramento, she uses that city to show that expressions of sexuality, and the hostility that certain forms of expression engendered, were not limited to the largest cities like New York.

Ullman notes that there was a strong connection between the emergence of women's activism and the nativist movement. It was through this that women were able to express themselves in a manner acceptable to others. It is no secret that both the suffrage and temperance movements had strong nativist elements in them. In the case of the former, native born women could outvote the immigrants, while in the latter, the elimination of alcohol would, theoretically. force cultural assimilation, and good behavior, among immigrant men. Such activities were seen as a proper manner of expression for women.

Ullman observed, however, that beyond such activities, there was concern that too much activism would leave a woman unmarried and, therefore, unfulfilled. The "Old Maid" often became a subject of ridicule in society and was often portrayed by men on stage and film since they could present the proper "ugly" image. In addition, men also portrayed the domineering wife (p.76) who were seen as having masculine traits in controlling their husbands.

The stage was an important outlet for female impersonators, but more threatening to society was the blurring of gender lines by those performers off the stage. The most famous female impersonator at the turn of the century was undoubtedly Julian Eltinge (né William Dalton, 1883-1941). Eltinge and the other FI's of his day had to confront fears that their ability to portray stereotypical femininity extended into their personal lives. Eltinge often had himself photographed with cigars or in "manly" pursuits (see photo) to deflect questions of a private life possibly characterized by "degeneracy" or "perversion." He also recounted several fights to prove his masculinity or would swear in a deep voice in front of a reporter when he knocked over a box of hairpins. It was his attempt to delineate gender lines even as he, and the increasing numbers of educated, socially active women, blurred those very distinctions.

While Eltinge was reasonably successful at deflecting concerns, and kept audiences flocking to his shows, Others were not so successful. Ullman mentioned the less well known Bothwell Browne, a contemporary of Eltinge's who performed on the west coast. Browne's career suffered as his performances became more sensual and erotic. He was seen simply as too feminine and became an object of disgust.

In general, female impersonation was popular and accepted, but when it was seen as a natural expression of identity, that is where audiences and critics drew the line. Crossdressing off-stage was offensive to many. The discovery in 1914 of "96 Clubs" in Long Beach, Venice, and elsewhere around Los Angeles, where men would dress as women and entertain one another, shocked and appalled California society, especially when it was revealed they engaged in mutual oral sex, which they euphemistically called "the Twentieth Century way."

The obsession with sexuality led many vaudeville circuits, most of which did include female impersonators, to claim regularly that they would "no longer" tolerate inappropriate performances or behaviors. Ullman suspects that such things may have continued and may have even been a selling point to audiences to a point, while reassuring the more prudish that they would not have to confront activities they considered objectionable.

In her analysis of "proper" sexual behavior, Ullman also observes that even in the field of prostitution, racial lines are clearly drawn despite the fact that it is illegal everywhere, although that did make it easier to cross those lines. Overall, however, there were certain lines of gender and race, that one was never supposed to cross, and there was much public hostility directed at those who did.

Generally, Sex Seen is a well written, well researched book. There was one item mentioned that possibly deserves some clarification. At one point, she stated that in one 1895 divorce case, the husband accused his wife of being too involved in political activity and specifically mentioned her work with the "APAs." Ullman speculates that Mrs. Riley may have been involved with a group of Sacramento women working for birth control since she was also accused of avoiding pregnancy, a point on which she admitted she was willing to "have a criminal operation committed upon herself" because of her fear of dying in childbirth (pp.91-92). The reference to the APA may simply refer to the American Protective Association, a late nineteenth century, nativist organization devoted to reducing immigration and limiting the political, social, and cultural influence of immigrants. If so, it actually serves as one more bit of evidence that politically active women were straying from socially accepted gender roles and were considered, by some, too masculine.

Otherwise, Sex Seen is an entertaining and informative book about the evolution of sexual norms and those who stray beyond them.




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AEGIS and ITA! to Merge, Form National Group

After six months of deliberation, the Boards of Directors of American Educational Gender Information Service, Inc. and It's Time, America! have agreed on a merger which will form a new organization, Gender Education and Advocacy (GEA). GEA will be, as its name implies, a transgender organization dedicated to both education and advocacy. GEA will continue the educational and political functions of its two parent organizations.

GEA will consist of a 501(c)(3) policy-making Institute and a 501(c)(4) Network of state chapters for policy implementation. The Institute and Network will be linked by Bylaws and a Joint Operating Agreement (JOA), which are under development. GEA's Mission and Values statements and a list of Core Functions have been completed and approved.

GEA hopes to begin operations by the end of 1998.

From Transgender Forum, 4-20-98

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Lavender Law Conference This Fall

OCTOBER 15-17, PARK PLAZA HOTEL, BOSTON, MA

Spend three days with some of our community's brightest and most committed legal minds, who will be gathered to teach, learn, think and debate the full range of legal issues facing the GLBT community and GLBT lawyers. Following the opening Keynote Address by The Honorable Barney Frank, the lawyers, judges, professors, students and legal workers will enjoy a variety of panels and workshops in numerous areas of law and policy, including HIV/AIDS, family law, criminal law, estate planning, immigration and transgender issues, as well as areas of more general interest to GLBT lawyers.

For more information, check the NLGLA web site at www.nlgla.org or E-mail LAVLAW98@aol.com. Conference brochures will be available this spring, but save the dates now for the nation's foremost GLBT Legal Conference - Lavender Law '98!!

From Transgender Forum, 4-20-98




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"Make me a girl when I wake up"

By John Lehmann

Drummer Michelle Josef, formerly Bohdan Hluszko of Prairie Oyster, has found peers in the music business to be generally supportive and encouraging about her sex change. For 35 years, Prairie Oyster drummer Bohdan Hluszko lived as a man. But a sexual identity crisis made him decide to become a woman.

Michelle Josef talks about her life ".I was extremely thin when I was a child. I grew into a six-foot, 198-pound man but I used to be mistaken for a girl a lot, and that felt right. When I was referred to as a boy, that didn't feel right. I used to sit beside my bed and say to God, "Bless Mum, bless Dad, bless the cat, and make me a girl when I wake up."

"When I was eight, I started cross-dressing. I wouldn't even admit it to myself, let alone to another human being. I would sneak into my mother's bedroom, borrow her undergarments and go into the bathroom to put them on. Then I would feel tremendously guilty about the whole thing and swear I'd never do it again. And two days later I'd be doing it again.

"Somehow, at around the age of nine, I got it into my head that at puberty was when my genitals would change into female genitals. But when puberty came around I got larger, I got hairier, my voice dropped and I thought, what is this all about? It just wasn't right at all." I knew that there was a problem. I didn't have the psychological sophistication to be able to identify it and at that time -- I was born in 1953 -- there was certainly no support of any kind. My parents were hard-working immigrants from Ukraine. They were just trying to survive. My mother cleaned doctors' offices. My father was smart enough to know that factory jobs provided a safety net, so he always looked for factory jobs. He had musical inclinations but he knew that if he could get a job that had dental, eyeglass and medical coverage it would be easier for the family. He sacrificed himself for us. Canada is built on the backs of people like my father and my mother, but they were coming from Europe, from really hideous experiences. Twenty-five million people died on Ukrainian soil and they saw that first hand. They saw people dragged into the streets and shot, just wave after wave of oppression. They were trying to survive, and I don't think they could even conceptualize what I was going through. Certainly, there were no counselling lines for youths at the time -- none of that existed -- and I couldn't tell any of my friends, so I just learned to bury it. I just buried it and buried it deep, but it was always there, like a silent torture. At the same time, I had a very strong belief in God, which I still have. So the story of my life has been trying to marry my gender identity, my spiritual beliefs and my music to make one whole cohesive thing.

"When I was a child my parents used to take me to Ukrainian weddings. It seems that at least once a month we went to a wedding, and I spent my entire time sitting at the side of the stage watching the drummer. As I watched, I figured out what they were doing and I knew I could do that. I knew that's what I wanted to do. I didn't get a set of drums until I was 14, but as I was growing up I was banging on everything in sight -- constantly. When I finally got drums, I set them up in the basement and played every chance I had. I was really driven to learn and took lessons throughout my teens. When I finished high school, my parents wanted me to go to university. I went to live in residence at York, the first time in my life I was actually exposed to alternate ideas, although I didn't voice them. My feelings were still a deeply buried secret."

"The following year, I went to the Ontario College of Art and came to live at Queen and Bathurst streets. I sort of found my people -- artists and artistic thinkers -- and in the course of that year, through friends, I met David Wilcox, one of the world's great guitar players. David is a great musical thinker, an extremely musical man. He was not only a mentor to me, musically and spiritually, but also a mentor to a whole scene. He had a tremendous influence on every musician he ever worked with. Everyone who has been in David's band is a better musician for it, every one of them. We started jamming together and by the end of the year we had formed a band called the Rhythm Rockets, a really good band. It became very successful. There was a big live club scene back then and I played drums on David's first album. Suddenly, I had to choose between making money with a great rock 'n' roll band or continuing college and starving to death. Tough choice. I chose a music career and played with David on and off for almost 10 years, right into the early '80s."

"There was also a period in the early '70s when I worked with the Good Brothers. I played one song on their first album and toured with them for almost two years. They were really good. And through David I met a lot of other people, including Amos Garrett, who played guitar on Midnight at the Oasis, with Maria Muldaur.I made two records with Amos -- I was in his band for a couple of years -- an album called Amosbehavin', one of his solo records, and another record with a bunch of other characters called The Return of the Formerly Brothers, which won a Juno Award. And for the last 12 years, I've been part of what's called the Edmonton Folk Festival house band, led by Amos, backing up the most amazing people at one of the most popular folk festivals in the country. One of my strengths as a musician is that I know a lot of styles. I've been in reggae bands, country bands, blues bands. I've played with many, many great old blues performers. I've played rock 'n'roll. I made two records with the Wild Strawberries, radio pop stuff, a wonderful band to play with. I did a tour with Jann Arden. Playing with Prairie Oyster for two years was just a tremendously good experience for me, fantastic. Doing 100 concerts a year, playing to 3,000 people -- it sure whips your playing into shape. You don't have that second set to get it together. People have paid their good money and want a good show from the first note to the last note. They don't want to hear five songs as a warm-up. My attitude and Prairie Oyster's attitude was to get out there and deliver the goods from the first note."

"The problem with repressing my gender is that gender is a fundamental part of anybody's being. Repressing my gender paralyzed me from becoming a whole and complete person, and my life has been one of many personal crises. I was very frightened. I was very mixed up. It was very hard to be a complete person without addressing the gender issue, but it took me an awfully long time to address it. For most of my adult life, I tried to define myself as a heterosexual male. I was married (divorced 12 years ago). I fathered a child (a daughter, now 14). I mean, for most of my life I've been trying to make Michelle go away. I tried to kill her. I begged God to take her away from me. I sought out psychotherapy to make her go away. I tried to drug Michelle away. The late '60s was a time of experimentation with drugs for many people, but for me it was also a way of numbing myself, of not feeling. About three years ago, I realized I could no longer go on. For the first time in my life, I seriously considered suicide. Those who were close to me were very concerned and very supportive, and when I looked at my life I realized there was enough there to live for. I loved life and I wanted to live. But I went into a dark place. I went into the cave, the shadow. I realized that the person I had defined as Bohdan Hluszko to the world was no longer viable. This person could not exist anymore. I had to profoundly change how I thought about myself and everything was on the table -- my gender, my career, all my friends, my relationship with my family. I just came to a place where I sort of left it up to the universe and said, "OK, God, I'm ready. Please give me the strength to accept, and the wisdom to understand, whatever it is that comes along."

"At first, I actually was not prepared to assume a female identity. This was in the summer of 1995. That September, my father died. A few weeks later, my daughter came to live with me. A few weeks after that, Prairie Oyster hired me as their drummer. Those were all big changes and I took about a year and a half to sort things out. That's just the speed I work at. It's not a race. I knew I could no longer define myself as heterosexual and specifically male, that I had to change, but it took me about a year and a half to process that. You will find if you speak to transgendered people -- male to female and female to male -- that a percentage of those people do not identify themselves as male or female. They actually identify themselves as being a third sex. So I cast myself into the grey zone between the genders. I was there for a couple of years and it was a very difficult place to be. There are a lot of lost souls in that grey zone, a lot of phantom-like figures.The first people I actually started talking to about what I was experiencing were people in gay bars. I would put on a hat, get into the car, make sure none of the neighbours was watching and head off to gay bars. I was at least able to talk to people there without having them give me that wide-eyed stare of total incomprehension or total unacceptance. In the gay bars, I found I was able to appear more and more cross-dressed, but I was terrified this might get back to the music community. I just thought the music community would be 100-per-cent opposed. I looked on the music business as an old-boys' network, very macho, and I thought coming out would be the absolute end of my career.

My identity as a musician is just as important to me as my gender identity. It's a fundamental part of who and what I am. So I was trying to protect myself. I meet a lot of transgendered people and some of them will never come out, because it's too threatening to their entire life structure, or they perceive it to be that way.I perceived it to be that way, too. There was no way I was going to walk into the Horseshoe Tavern and start telling my friends, "Hey, guess what? I want to wear a skirt." I just thought it was beyond their ability to even comprehend it, let alone accept it. I was terrified the music community would just write me off. As it turns out, I was incredibly wrong about that. I have found that my peers in the music business, by and large, have been incredible, not only accepting but also encouraging and supportive. I've been the fodder of a lot of gossip but the gossip has not been as malicious as I thought it would be. Nobody has directly made me an object of derision. People have been curious. It turns out the gossip monster is just curiosity, which is fair enough. I know I'm a curiosity."

"The guys who have the biggest problem accepting me are the ones who seem to be most hung up on the conquest of females. Why? What's it to them? Why does my desire to be a complete, whole, happy, secure human being threaten anybody else? I mean, I'm not going through this to warp straight guys' heads. But sometimes in a bar, a guy will see my legs and get aroused and realize I'm not female and start to feel threatened. So it ceases to be my issue and becomes his issue. My experience has been that the more someone feels threatened, the more they are hiding from themselves. After I'd been out in the gay community for about a year and a half, I came to realize that I was a lot happier in a female identity than I was in a male identity. Once I accepted that, then my identity started to shift, so much so that I could no longer accept being defined male. It was as simple as that."

Nobody will just simply perform a sex change. There are private clinics that do it but they want references first from two psychotherapists. They also want you to live a full-time transgendered identity for at least a year, and to be on hormones for at least six months. Those are the usual requirements. I'm involved with the gender clinic at the Clarke Institute in Toronto, and their requirement before surgery is full-time transgendered identity for two years. I agree with that. I want to be sure. Genital surgery is not reversible. About a year and a half ago, I started taking hormones. I take testosterone suppressants and estrogen enhancers. They've affected my muscular distribution, my voice, my body hair, my body fat and to a very small degree they've affected my skeleton. They're also affecting how I think and feel. They're affecting my sexual preference. My sexual preference is shifting. Usually, you start with a hormonal program, then electrolysis. Electrolysis is a long, painful, ghastly proposition to remove the hair off your face. That separates the boys from the girls, let me tell you -- having an electric needle stuck in your face. You really know you're determined to do this if you can go through electrolysis. They stick a needle into the hair follicle and electricity is shot down that needle to destroy the hair root. Laser electrolysis covers a much larger area and essentially does the same thing -- destroys the hair root -- but with a laser light rather than a needle full of electricity. I've had a combination of laser and conventional electrolysis. It's very painful and it's very costly. I've also had some surgeries. Some transgendered people (who begin as men) are extremely effeminate and don't need much surgery. They have very feminine faces. They have very feminine hair, fingers, features, body fat. I haven't, so I've had -- let's just say the breasts aren't 100 per cent hormones. And you can have as much plastic surgery as you want and can afford, depending on how much that's important to you. It's phenomenal how much you can be altered, the miracle of modern medicine. Not everybody elects to have sexual reassignment surgery, where the genitals are transformed. But I want the full transition. My sexual preferences are changing and I want to have sex with men. I mean, why else would you want it? There are now specialists who do nothing but sexual reassignment surgery. It's about a two-hour operation."

"As far as my career goes, I think I'm a bit radioactive right now. People want to hire me but they are reluctant to an extent. I'm sure at some point, my gender change will become less and less and less of an issue with people. People are calling me -- I've been in this business a long time -- but I'm looking for really high-profile work. I want to play for the best musicians I can find, because I always have. And if anything, this transition I'm going through has enhanced my playing. The root of my playing is the passion I have in music. If the passion I feel is deeper and stronger and more pure, it shows up in my playing. I play much more relaxed right now, and being in a relaxed state of mind I'm open to the flow of emotion and ideas. I'm calmer. I'm happier. I'm more connected to my feelings. I don't tell myself any more, "Don't feel that, don't say that." I don't live a half life. I don't live in shadows anymore. I've stood out in the light of public scrutiny and I'm finding out that light isn't so bad. In a way, the issues facing me aren't that different than issues facing anybody. I have some medical issues to go through, but in the course of our lifetime I think all of us are challenged with defining our own identity, defining what makes us happy. A lot of people rise to those challenges. A lot of people deflect it. It sort of depends on how willing you are to really take a hard look at what is your value system. I've had to look at things from a perspective that a lot of other people don't have to look at it from, but I want what anybody else wants in life. I want to be loved. I want to be lovable. I want to know I have an importance in people's hearts. I want to have dignity and integrity, and I want to prosper and be happy, like anybody else.

Ottawa Citizen, March 29, 1998

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Tennessee Vals - Board Election results

ChairJennileigh L.
Vice ChairBonnie B.
SecretaryMarisa R.
TreasurerPamela D.
MembershipSusan B.
EventsDanielle K.
PublicationsAnne C.

Congrats to all board members and we would like to welcome the new faces to the board.


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