Bluegrass BelleView November 1997 |
Bluegrass Belles Transgender Support GroupPO Box 20173, Louisville, KY. 40250November 1997Upcoming EventsSaturday, November 15: Monthly Social and Business Meeting. Doors open 7PM, meeting starts at 8PM. Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, Bell Court and Main St., Lexington, KY. Thursday, November 27 (Thanksgiving Day) Dinner With Your Transgendered Family Time and Place to Be Announced 11-15-97 Saturday, December 13, 10:00 AM, meet at Denny's, 4220 Shelbyville Rd, St. Matthews, Holiday Shopping Trip, Frankfort Avenue Consignment Shops Sunday, December 21. First Annual Holiday Party, Wyndham Garden Hotel, Lexington, KY. 4PM. Jennileigh Love, Newsletter Editor/WebMistress of the Tennessee Vals, and Co-Chairperson of the 1998 Southern Comfort Conference is the keynote speaker. Party at "Spectrum" afterwards. |
By Anne Casebeer
At what point does a transperson cease to be a rookie? In sports, it's after a full season. Well, November marks the anniversary of my first steps into the gender world. I'd say that most genderfolk celebrate their coming-out anniversaries, not unlike romantic couples. I celebrated mine by driving over 2000 miles femme; Louisville to the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, then to the Expocon East Coast Video Show in Atlantic City, then back to Louisville. 9 days on the road, and I'd estimate I spent all but 12 hours, 16 minutes, and 10 seconds femme. Quite an experience, and all of it favorable. My mother's illness almost forced me to cancel the whole excursion, but her doctor encouraged me to go on with my business, and we exchanged email addresses and cellular phone numbers, which allowed me to take care of family business while on the road. I haven't yet seen the cellular phone bill, which may restrict my future social life, but it was worth it to have the peace of mind - I spoke to doctors while sipping Scotch in Atlanta; to Mom while in Atlanta, on I-81 in North Carolina near Greensboro, on I-95 in Delaware, and I-70 in Ohio; and my video store while in Atlantic City. Thanks, BellSouth Mobility.
I'll start with Southern Comfort, which was an impressively-managed gathering that offered something for anyone who can fit under the big pink circus tent with the blue TG logo. I recommend that each of you start saving now for this conference next year. Don't just take my word for it - RuthAnn, Taylor, Rachel, Stephanie, Cindy, and moi represented the Belles, and if any of us had less than a great time, I haven't heard about it. Make your plans for next year, you are guaranteed to have a good time, that assurance comes directly from the SCC Co-Chairperson, Jennileigh Love of the Tennessee Vals. No kidding....
The strength of SCC is the fact that they really offer something for everyone. The seminars cover couples' issues, FtM concerns, SRS, feminizing surgery, and political activism. There are field trips to the CNN building, shopping malls, and many nightclubs. Are you a ham? The talent show awaits you - 14 of us made a successful attempt at entertaining the convention on Friday night. The "town meeting" Saturday afternoon featured a panel of the best and brightest of the TG community (and, there IS one!), doing their best to answer the questions fielded by the audience; they weren't softballs, I can assure you. Did somebody bring up partying? The Hard Rock Cafe on Thursday night, followed by an evening at The Chamber certainly was interesting and a lot of fun. In particular, The Chamber was testament to the fact that you can never say you've seen it all. It's a club dedicated to the leather and S&M set, and if you wanted to experience the unusual and unique, set to a soundtrack of Nine Inch Nails, it was there. I was wearing a red dress that has earned me propositions in the past, and this time was no exception; I was propositioned a few times that evening, but I was more interested in watching the human parade pass and sipping Guinness. My roomies, Toni Lynn and Star of the Vals were more into the scene, and we compared notes as follows; screwed, spanked, and smashed. I performed Jethro Tull's "Bungle in the Jungle" at the talent show, which was a second choice; during the rehearsal, I wasn't in great voice (I'd spent the morning rehearsing in my van in the parking lot, and I think I left my voice there!), and had trouble hitting the highest note on my original choice, "Bad Time" by Grand Funk Railroad. Fortunately, my voice was a little better by evening, and the mistakes I made weren't as obvious as I thought. The first rule of rock n' roll vocals is to make up for in volume what you lack in quality; and Sabrina Marcus, the MC, had me try some rock-star moves with the audience. I haven't seen the video yet at this writing, so we'll have to take the word from others that I did OK. The other performers were remarkable, particularly Stephanie Shewmaker's performance, Marc's Celtic tune, Jenni's "Women's Clothes", and Jami Ward's standup routine.
Santurday afternoon, the "Transgendered Town Meeting" was held; moderated by Marisa Richmond of AEGIS and the Tennessee Vals; the panel featured a lineup of the major movers and shakers of the community, taking questions and expressing their points of view on comments made by the audience. Some commented that it went on a bit too long, but I enjoyed the level of give and take that went on. Sometimes I feel that we, as transpeople, need a common voice to speak for us, but there are too many varying points of view to make that a possibility. Certainly, if we were holding an election for the "President of Transgenderism", the
winner would have been sitting on that panel. Saturday evening, the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus performed, collecting applause, smiles, and plenty of donations to fight AIDS. They say that Southern Comfort is their favorite performance of the year, and it showed in their performance. Finally, we closed out the night by partying the night away at the "Otherside", which you'll recall survived a bombing in the spring of this year. Nice place, reminiscent of "Murphy's" in Louisville. Sunday morning was bright and warm, and a number of us gathered in the hotel restaurant for the breakfast buffet, some in male attire, some femme, as fits the ending of a gender convention.
I'd have liked to attend the planning meeting afterwards, but I had some roadtripping to do...
It's the aftermath of that convention that really marks time and illustrates what I've learned about myself and others in the past year. Following the completion of SCC, I was obligated to drive directly to Atlantic City for the Expocon East Coast Video Show, which is a personal and professional touchstone that I build my year around annually When you have to make a 650-mile drive, you have a lot of time to think and enough privacy so that you can converse with yourself without having people render value judgments about your sanity and/or lack of same. What spurred the bout of deep thought in the vicinity of Greensboro, NC, was, as usual, a song lyric:
"I woke up this morning, feeling so rested and young,
My mind was clear of all the problems that have filled my head,
Couldn't quite understand why, I felt so fine, I felt so free,
But beyond it all, as I turned towards them, then I understood, it all came clear"
Oh, Thank You Great Spirit, Terry Kath ( from Chicago VIII )
Sunday, I spent quite a few miles between Atlanta and Atlantic City contemplating what I've learned and discovered about myself and others over the last year, not to mention wondering when I became so nonchalant about my transgenderism. Here I was, traveling in my decrepit Caravan through Georgia, the Carolinas, and Virginia, wearing femme jeans, a red top, hair done, makeup, so forth. Last year's ECVS came under much more unpleasant mental conditions, and the contrast between the two periods of time a mere year apart was unbelievable. Confidence is the word that sums it up best. I respect danger and take most necessary precautions, but I've definitely learned that you can do nearly anything crossdressed, and if you can do some of the things I've done in the past year crossdressed, your confidence in nearly any situation will grow exponentially.
I broke the Atlanta-to-Atlantic City trip up at the Quality Inn in College Park, MD., retouched my makeup, put on a jean skirt and casual top, grabbed a quick meal at the local Applebee's, and then proceeded to the scene of previous atrocities: the infamous Mr. Eagan's, on Connecticut Ave. NE in D.C. Ginny wasn't working that night, but the tall blonde girl who was made me feel right at home, and one of the regulars who was there the night Vanessa, Shannon, Sarah, and I visited during Lobby Days happened to drop in. We chatted for quite awhile, and enjoyed more than a few Murphy's Irish Stouts. I left a note for Ginny, informing her that we'd be lobbying again next spring, and that we'd let her know in more detail when it got closer. A nice, quiet, welcoming evening for a weary transgendered traveler. I must confess, I harbor an great affection for places like that; quiet, unassuming, real people. People that might have never met a transperson, and whom, once they did, accepted us as we yearn for society in general to do, have now accepted me as I am on 3 separate occasions. In the heartland of America, one hears talk show hosts and ordinary citizens alike make snide remarks about the people who live inside the Capitol Beltway; certainly in Kentucky, they do. It's baloney: I've met many wonderful people in D.C., and the good folksat Mr. Eagan's are the best example I know of; ordinary people who accepted us and welcomed us into their home away from home. I can't wait to return.
Spending the 5 days of Southern Comfort crossdressed is expected; traveling to and from there is a bit riskier (or risque, depending on the cut of the dress); but when you take the risk of being discovered by your peers and go out publicly, you know you've made it. The old principal of "act like you belong and everyone will assume you do" usually applies to most situations a transperson faces, and when you pull off the crazy risk and have it pay off, that confidence carries over to your professional and family life, to your benefit. ECVS is structured much as Southern Comfort is, with seminars by day, and social events by evening. Unlike SCC, you are on your own for meals, but with the convention taking place near the Boardwalk, there is no shortage of possibilities for that - that's something casinos are famous for. The social events are sponsored by movie studios, industry groups, equipment suppliers, and magazines, and are "theme parties". Video store managers, studio reps, and show business people tend, as a group, towards being very wild, flamboyant, and more than a bit crazy. I see many of the same people annually, and they know me, thanks to my unusual last name and tenure in the business; I exchange Email with some of them, in fact. The only real obstacles to open crossdressing are the fact that my nametag (the wearing of which they enforce rigidly, and which has a magnetic strip so that items you purchase on the show floor can be billed to the store) said "Anthony Casebeer - Video Vault of Okolona"; and the fact that I was Video Store Magazine's "Handicapper of the Week" the very week of the show, which was mentioned everywhere I went. Obviously, attending seminars as Anthony was necessary, but the evenings...well, that was another matter.
Monday morning, I had to let "the guy" take over, since I was driving directly to the Atlantic City Convention Center. The Monday seminar ended about 430 PM, and I checked into my room out in Absecon, NJ. The idea of paying $120 per night to stay in a casino, versus $35 for Super 8 should be obvious. Anne comes out to play again! I put on a navy skirt and blouse, fixed my hair and face, and went shopping in King of Prussia, PA, which boasts the largest mall in the Northeast, supposedly. I can't confirm that, but I do know this: I had no shortage of possibilities; the only problem was the money involved. Nordstrom's, Bloomingdale's, Neiman-Marcus, and Macy's are wonderful stores, but the prices were more obscene than the adult video exhibits on the convention floor. After returning to Atlantic City empty-handed, while looking for a suitable place to dine (My policy when traveling is to avoid restaurants that I can enjoy at home), I spotted MY STORE: Value City. Yes, wild and woolly Value City, the trannie's paradise, where you can find, well, the same black velvet dress that Bloomingdale's wanted $155 for, for $29.95. I bought 2! Not to mention some very fancy black Hanes hose with lace thighs for $2! Yes! Yes! Yes! A fast stop at Kmart to pick up makeup, and I was ready for the next night.
Tuesday, I watched and participated in a number of seminars dealing with buying groups, the state of the video business, pay-per-view windows, talked to some of my "annual" friends, and shopped the show floor. The last seminar ended at 430PM, and I returned to the Super 8 to get ready for the "Video Business/Video Store/ PolyGram Home Video Karaoke Party". Black velvet dress, spike heels, dramatic makeup, curled my hair, painted my nails (which were still "done" from Southern Comfort, but were unpolished for daytime discretion), then gave Miss Thang a look in the mirror, and a twirl, letting my short dress fly and expose my lacy thighs. I can't begin to describe the power I felt: Given a series of days dressed, I get into practice; I had the look right, the voice right, and, frankly, I was hot and knew it! I strutted out the door, keys in hand, and noticed a couple guys do a double take and watch me climb into the van, lust in their eyes. I've had that look before, I'd know it anywhere! Drove to Bally's, parked, and while walking to the casino entrance, I had a passing motorist, male of course, damned near wreck his Toyota pickup while looking backwards at me - I shot him a seductive smile and tossed my head, hair flowing. Flirting!!! I took the moving walkway into the casino, a well-dressed gentleman who was escorting an elegant lady held the door for me, and was clearly comparing me with his date! I thanked him demurely, and strutted past the baccarat and blackjack tables, past the slot machines and roulette wheels, out to the Boardwalk, and down to Planet Hollywood for dinner. A bit of lasagna, and then up the golden main escalator that spans 4 stories in the atrium lobby to the Ocean B Room for the party. The usher at the door asked for my nametag, and I demurely asked her this: "I have it in my purse, I didn't want to put a hole in this dress. Could you discreetly look at it, and let me keep it there?" "Sure, hon", she replied, I showed it to her, and she was shocked! "I never would have known! You look fabulous! Nobody will ever know. Have a great time!" I strutted to the cash bar, ordered a glass of wine, and sat down to look over the karaoke selections; selected "These Are Days" and "White Rabbit", handed in my requests, and returned to the bar, where a gent who taught a lecture that I attended earlier in the day bought me the first of several drinks! I looked familiar to him, and he remembered the "guy with glasses" who attended his lecture from my store, but I convinced him that the "guy" was my boss. I sang both songs in femme voice, and not even the karaoke operator was the wiser; he was the editor of Video Business Magazine, and knows Anthony! I was in much better voice than I was at the SCC talent show, and I was able to do a reasonable facsimile of Natalie Merchant of 10,000 Maniacs, not to mention Grace Slick. My challenge, come the end of the night was 3fold: One, how to get out of the casino on 3" heels while mildly tipsy; two, the drive back to the motel in Absecon without spending the night femme in jail in New Jersey; and three: how to get rid of the guy. Mom didn't teach me that trick! I finally lied and told him that my boyfriend was meeting me at 1AM for a snack after gambling, and that got me loose. I glided out and proceeded home, brimming with confidence, and a bit more sober following the long walk and a visit to the ladies' room. The next day, I saw both my colleague and the magazine editor, and both commented on meeting my "assistant", and didn't make the connection. All I could think of at that point was, "Are you blind, or were you just drunk?" I certainly didn't verbalize that!
The rest of the convention was uneventful and professional. I departed after the Wednesday session, and drove west to the outskirts of Philadelphia, checked into a Holiday Inn, femmed out, then went to a restaurant recommended to me by Angela Bridgman, the Ship Inn in Exton, PA. The grilled chicken and mushrooms was wonderful, as was the service; and I returned to the hotel, touched up, and went to the hotel bar to watch the Indians-Orioles game. The two other patrons of the bar struck up a conversation, and read me after awhile; I was truthful - explained to them that I was transgendered, and answered their questions; something I never mind doing. They were friendly, and we enjoyed the game, a few Dock Street Amber Bocks, and some good conversation. Thursday, I put on a little black dress and drove home through PA, OH, and KY, using the rest areas as needed with no mishaps. I even stopped near Pittsburgh and purchased some Yuengling Black and Tan to bootleg back to Kentucky at a beer depot, and survived being carded. Nice of someone to think I might possibly be underage. I gave the clerk my male ID, and she was totally nonchalant. About 4 hours later, I was stuck in a traffic jam in Florence, KY; total standstill, and a number of us were standing outside our vehicles, stretching our legs, and ended up conversing with a trucker from Florida, and a professor heading back to UK from a conference in Cleveland; neither gave any notice to my transgenderism, although the trucker was looking at my legs with bad intent (Yes, I was wearing the 3" stilettos again).
Last year, I was very scared, closeted, knew that I had to start allowing that other side of me roam free. This year, Anne was free to run amok, and she had a lot of fun. The lesson here is an old one: you set your own limits. You can do anything you set your mind to, and the limitations are yours to decide upon. I like taking risks, and have few professional or societal limitations on my crossdressing, so I see myself as a pioneer. I don't mind taking the point position for others to follow, and so far, I've found no need for a Kevlar corset. The fun is yours to experience, but being careful is important. I took some definite risks on this trip, but they paid off in fun and an incredible adrenaline rush. Care to join me in public? It's fun out there....And, start saving your pennies and nickels for Southern Comfort '98; it's guaranteed to be a blast!
Freedom and Mascara! Anne Casebeer
By Vanessa Edwards-Foster
Reprinted from the "Texas Association for Transsexual Support" Newsletter, Houston,TX with permission
The death of Dee McKellar was a tragedy for the transgender community...but will it be a hollow tragedy? When losing one of the stalwarts of any movement, those who benefit from their efforts usually start questioning "where do we go from here?" For those who feel disaffected from it, the status of the transgendered rights movement will continue along as usual. But for those who look to winning rights as the road to a successful future, the passing of someone like Dee causes concern and transition.
After losing a warrior it is natural for others to wonder who will step up to take their place in battle. Similarly, those of us concerned with the ongoing struggle for our rights tend to look around at each other...wondering who step in and fill the void. I'd thought this myself about a year ago when hearing of Sarah DePalma's retirement from activism. Asking Sarah who would take her placeand who would continue the efforts, her reply was, "I don't know. It'll have to be someone...but it won't be me!" It was not an answer I wanted to hear. I'd wanted to know specifically who would continue the struggle for rights in Sarah's stead, and expected to look around and see someone stand up and take over -- someone else.... After some soul-searching, I stood in front of the mirror and saw who was going to take over the fight. That someone was me. It was selfish of me to rely on someone else to win my rights without any efforts on my part. Thus I became involved.
With the passing of Dee -- admittedly a permanent and much more public loss -- there has been a noticable concern about where to pick up the slack left by her death. Sure enough, there has been an earnest effort to become involved community-wise. The real test will be how long these individuals will continue to be involved. Similar to the deaths of charitable activists Princess Diana and Mother Teresa, there is a bell curve of greatly increased activity followed by a gradual drop-off to previous levels. Will this time be different? Will activism and charity continue at increased levels, or will we lose the initial verve and reduce it to a special occurrence? Only time will tell....
In the meantime, activism is the beneficiary; and will take all of the help it can get while it can. Locally there's been a noticable stir of activity, from Q-Patrol to volunteering on the Annise Parker city council campaign. Especially encouraging is the amount of volunteering on Parker's run for city council. Besides myself, TATS members Daniell McCleney, Sarah DePalma, Katrina Rose, Sarah Caffee and Carey Porter have lended their time to support the campaign. Fully one half -- or more -- of the volunteer staff on most nights at the campaign headquarters are transgendered!
Why would we expend so much energy for a political race? For those who aren't aware, Annise Parker -- a graduate of Rice, small-business owner and member of the Mensa Society -- is the first avowed lesbian to run for city council in Houston. Not only that, Parker is running -- not for the district seat covering the Montrose -- but the At-Large city council seat, Position 1 (of which she's an early front runner in an admittedly tough race.) Most importantly, she is strongly pro-transgendered and has always been a staunch ally of the TG community. Lastly, it also sends a strong message out to the GLBT community that we are indeed binding tighter the ties to the community, especially to the conservative gay element who would deny our inclusion into the community. They certainly couldn't argue that we don't participate.
Beyond our admitted 'vested interest' in seeing Parker elected, she is (at least in the author's opinion) the best person for the job. It helps to work for something, or someone, you believe in. Activism does not always equal protesting, or picketing. It does equal getting involved in whatever community-oriented activity you choose. Participating in whatever cause you believe in, or feel strongly about, will naturally increase your frequency, and your level of participation. It can be anything from walking the beat on Q-Patrol, to lobbying in Austin on specific rights legislation, to volunteering for a non-GLBT cause.
For those who think volunteering for something not pertinent to the GLBT community is not activism -- think again! True, it doesn't give specific benefits to our community...at least not immediately. But by helping organizations outside of our community, we give a sterling example of ourselves to the straight community. It's precisely these examples that will break down the misconceptions and stereotypes so commonly held by society at large. It won't be immediate, but the continued examples of what we are and what we can be will have an osmotic effect. By influencing these folks with our positive aspects, we stand to gain the support of straight society -- at least those currently ambivalent towards transgenders. Dee herself was a volunter with the Houston Read Commission, spending numerous hours reading to children...children of straight parents. Lest we forget, without a good portion of support from straight society, we'll likely never gain equality through legislation alone.
Not everyone is inclined to activism, and there is nothing wrong with that decision. Some folks eschew anything even remotely political. Another problem (especially for those of us who blend in well, i.e. pass) is that some forms of activism require you to 'out' yourself -- especially dealing with straight folks. This is something extremely unpalatable to some, flying in the face of their raison d'être: to quietly assimilate into society. However, for those who are of a mind to become active -- or for those who are still ambivalent -- pick your target, be persistent, and move towards your goal. The benefits will come slowly, but the eventual rewards will be great.
Love,
Vanessa Edwards-Foster
By Angela Fox Bridgman
It makes you wonder what kind of a society we are living in when one homosexual kiss is worth six shots of Jimmy Smits' naked butt. What am I referring to here? Simple. Smits, of the show NYPD Blue, which is a notorious show, full of adult content, was in an episode once, where his naked butt was shown six times. That episode, like almost all other episodes of NYPD Blue, received a TV Rating of TV-14. Recently, and episode of "Ellen" also got the TV-14 rating. For what? A very tame, homosexual kiss! No more than the kiss a girl might give to her own sister!
I find that to be proof positive that the radical right has become a truly powerful force in this country, and that is scary. Let me qualify that statement by saying that, first, I hardly ever watch "Ellen" I, quite frankly, don't find Ellen DeGeneres to be very funny. I am not homosexual, and so, the idea that a homosexual kiss would be rated TV-14 does not bother me, in and of itself.
I hardly even watch TV, I just don't often have the time to. If at a friend's house, they were watching "Ellen", I would watch with them, and enjoy it. But I wouldn't go out of my way to watch "Ellen", or any other TV Show, with the possible exception of the X-Files. I'm sorry, but David Duchovny is really sexy! Not to mention, I find the show very interesting. Even that, I seldom watch more that once or twice a month. Again, I don't have time.
It makes me wonder though, how much of the radical right finds time to watch TV, and do they notice all the violence in cartoons, which are still rated TV-Y? They worry about their children seeing Ellen kiss another woman, and yet, find nothing wrong with their children watching Tom and Jerry beat each other up. George Carlin once repeated a quote, and he was unable to credit the person who originally said it, but it's one I agree with. "I'd rather have my children watch two people making love than two people trying to kill one another."
Mind you, that is the exact quote. The person who said it did not say that he would specifically rather see his children watch two heterosexual people making love. Why is the radical right so opposed to Ellen? I wish I knew. Her show, so far as I have seen doesn't have half the adult content of many other shows with lesser ratings
That brings me to mention something of a local flavor. If anyone has been following the news, there was an article, which should have been of interest to us all. The Trans-Atlantic Rowing race has begun. It began with 33 teams. One team was American. One team was all-female. One team was from Louisville. It was the team of Louise Graff, and Tori Murden. The rest of the teams were foreigners, 29 all-male teams, 3 mixed teams, then, of course, there was Louise and Tori. They have been accused of being lesbians. To which, they replied that they weren't, but that people could think what they wanted to. People could call them what they wanted, but, they should call them winners. They wondered, however, how many of the all-male teams would be accused of being gay. I think that was a valid thing to say. I wholeheartedly agree, and give kudos to both of these fine women for doing what they felt they should do, by entering the race.
It is, therefore, with considerable sadness that I am reporting that Louise and Tori are apparently out of the race, having had to turn back when one of them got sick, having gotten food poisoning. It was not made clear which one of the two women got sick. Later, it would seem that the mystery was cleared up, and that it was Murden who became ill.
I read about this at a local restaurant, and happened to make a comment about it to a friend of mine, which was overheard by another patron. This man, without being invited into the conversation, said, "Good, the lesbians are out of it!" I sat there in shock. How could this man say that? These women, whether they are lesbians or not, showed more guts, more determination, and more character than any person here who might criticize them. After all, they were the only American team, the only all-female team, and, they were from right here in Louisville.
Being a woman, I was behind these women from the first I heard they would be in this race. When I found that they were from Louisville, and the only American team in the race, I really got behind them, and wished them well, yet, here was this man, with no guts whatsoever, criticizing them, downing them, and wishing evil upon them, because of his perception that they were lesbians. I agree with them, call them winners. They showed more guts and character than most people ever do. They have also said that once Murden recovers, they will try to get back into the race. Of course, they must re-start, from the starting line, after losing several days, which means, for all practical purposes, their chances of winning are slim to none. Yet, I think that is exactly what people of character would do...re-enter the race anyway, knowing they couldn't win, yet going out and doing what they set out to do to begin with...to row across the Atlantic.
If they are, in fact, lesbians, then I need to meet more people like them. People with character and guts. If they are straight, then I still need to meet more people like them. In fact, I would be highly honored to meet these remarkable, extraordinary women. My prayers continue to be with Tori Murden, in wishing her a speedy recovery. My dreams, hopes, and prayers continue to be with Louise Graff, and Tori Murden, whether or not they even attempt to get back into the race. They tried, and that's more than most of us can say. It truly is better to have tried, and failed, than to never have tried, and with that in mind, I hope that they will re-enter the race. Whatever they decide to do, I salute these brave women. God's blessings, I wish on both of them. And I wish a speedy recovery to Tori Murden. These are two women who have shown what it is to be American, and what it is to be human. They have more guts than all their critics put together. I just wish I had half theirs.
Call me crazy, if you want to, but I think we need to look outside the gay and lesbian community, to find allies. I'm not entirely convinced that the gay and lesbian community has our best interests at heart. I am quite certain that most of them would jettison us in a heartbeat, if there was an actual, or perceived gain, by doing so. This, I feel, is not a good way to run a civil-rights campaign.
Why do I bring this up? Because, there are certain things that happen, when you look outside our community, and you become aware that others are discriminated against, too, even though it is, technically, at least, illegal to discriminate against them. In search of potential allies, I was surfing the net one day, about mid-October. That session led to an incredible experience.
I came across an entry, on the Kentucky Commonwealth home page. It was about the Third Annual Town Forum, which I eventually attended. It is sponsored by the Black Press, and particularly, by the Louisville Defender. By attending this conference, I gained quite a few things. First, I learned about how blacks are still discriminated against, and what the Black Press does to expose these cases of discrimination. Second, I got to listen to two very inspiring speakers. One was Rev. Willie Barrow, of the Rainbow PUSH Coalition, a group which formed out of Rev. Jesse Jackson's two unsuccessful Presidential campaigns. In the words of Rev. Barrow, "We are not as divided, as we are disconnected." That rang a very familiar bell. Could it possibly be that way in our own community, between the gay, lesbian, and bisexual elements of our community, and those of us who identify as transgendered? Think about that one, I think there's something to it. The second speaker, who actually spoke first, was her Eminence, none other than Patricia Ireland, President of the National Organization for Women. When I found out that Ms. Ireland would be there, I knew I had to show up. I got the opportunity to shake hands with, and speak with her personally, if only for a few minutes. I was, at first, awed to be in the presence of Ms. Ireland, but that quickly went away. I came away very inspired, instead.
Ms. Ireland is a very articulate woman, and a very good speaker. Her story was nothing short of incredible, and nothing like I expected. Her wry wit was definitely worthy of remembering, and of repeating here. She was speaking of the time when she had been a flight attendant for Pan Am. This was before political correctness, and technically, she was a stewardess. She told a story of how, when she was working for Pan Am, and her husband was in school, Pan Am had refused to extend family health benefits to her, because she was a woman. She contacted NOW, and they told her how to fight it. She did, and won. "I became the President of the National Organization for Women....and Pan Am went bankrupt.", said Ms. Ireland, amidst much laughter. She told of the advertising campaigns of the airlines in the 50's, 60's, and into the 70's. "We'll really move our tails for you", was one ad. Another, even more blatant, was, "I'm Cheryl...Fly me!" Yes, these were real ads. Amazing what difference twenty years can make. That was very inspiring. While we might have a long road to travel, I feel that, in the end, we will win the battle. But, after the battle is won, it isn't over, cautioned Ms. Ireland. Then, you must maintain a watch. It's very easy for all the gains we have made to get rolled back. Take heed of that warning, Fairness. Take heed of that warning, transgender community. Once we do get our civil rights, we must remain vigilant to insure we keep them!
Later, I spoke privately with Ms. Ireland, and obtained her autograph. I also purchased her book, "What Women Want". It is a bit of a bait-and-switch on the title, but a very inspiring story, and very much a page-turner. I have been reading it for four days now, and already have read over 250 pages! It is that much of a page-turner. Ms. Ireland is a very down-to-earth person, as I found. You would never guess, if you met her on the street, that she is one of the most powerful women in our country. As you find out, when you read her book, she had very humble beginnings, in rural Indiana. When my turn to get my book signed came up, I shook Ms. Ireland's hand, and thanked her for embracing us. She didn't know what I was talking about, at first. I told her that I appreciated her taking a stand in favor of the transgender community. She was surprised to learn that I was a transsexual. I told her that she didn't have to support us, but she chose to, and I was grateful for that. She said, "No, Angela, we at NOW have to support all of you, that is what a civil-rights campaign is all about. Those of you in the transgender community are, just by living your everyday lives, exposing all the artificial gender constructs, and stereotypes we women have had to live up to since the dawn of time."
I think we have much better allies, outside the gay and lesbian community than within it. Am I advocating abandoning the gay and lesbian community? Not for a minute! But, I am suggesting that we all need to look outside our community, as well. Ms. Ireland signed my book: "To Angela Fox Bridgman Keep our movement strong and growing, as we link arms together in the struggle. Patricia Ireland." Though I would like to think we have linked arms with the gay and lesbian community, I don't think we have come that far, yet. And we have been working within the gay and lesbian community for almost thirty years, but, most of us have been working in the gay and lesbian community for maybe about five years. About the same amount of time we have been working, as a community with NOW. It makes you wonder, though, why NOW sees us differently than the gay and lesbian community, since it took NOW five years to "get it". Why does the gay and lesbian community not "get it." That's a question we will have to continue to work on, to find out why, and what we have to do, to gain acceptance. And, I think that, working with NOW, that would be an excellent way to learn more about how to be more diligent, and more savvy, in our approach to the gay and lesbian community. It would also be an excellent way to learn more about how to go about being an activist, and how to go about conducting civil disobedience. All in all, I personally would prefer to work along these lines for a while. At least, for a change, I can work amongst people who support our agenda, and whose agenda, as a woman, I strongly support.
I have gotten an open invitation to join the Jefferson County Chapter of NOW, and all of us are welcome there, too. Isn't that refreshing? A group of people who actually want us! Also, we are now on a newsletter exchange with the local NOW chapter. All of that, in one afternoon! It was definitely a worthwhile conference. That is why I encourage, and recommend, looking beyond the artificial borders of our own community. Until next month,
Luv ya lots, like, fer sher!
Angela Fox Bridgman
by Dawn Josephine Wilson, CEO
I know many of you are wondering what is going on with the Belles. Well, A lot! As the CEO and a founder, let me say how proud I am of this group. While I have been dealing with the sickness and legal concerns of my parents they took over and maintained the status quo, and the group is still growing..... Thank You!
A quick parental update - I am not the only person in the group with sick parents Anne's Mom and Dad are in similar shape to mine and are in a nursing facility, so things are rough for her, too. As for my parental units, my AUNT (mom) is getting stronger; as for my UNCLE (dad), well, let's just say it is the bottom of the 9th, a one run game, 2 out, full count, bases loaded, and the batter (my uncle) is still fouling off GOD's pitches.
Editor's note: Dawn's uncle lost his battle with cancer November 9th. Our thoughts are with her at this terrible time.At Southern Comfort, the combined efforts of the Ky. Boyz , the Belles, and Louisville GenderFoundation was very evident in the large Ky. delegation. On October 16, Terri, RuthAnn, Angela, Anne, Barbara of LGF, and I gave a
presentation at the Ky. Counseling Association Convention. This was a big hit! The information exchanged at both the seminar and the Resource-A-Rama, really put things in perspective. I have been told that the attendees were impressed with us, and we will be invited again . Also, don't forget about the article that we will be writing in conjunction with KCA and Dr Strong for a professional journal. This will help school and other institutional counselors be able to spot youth who may have a gender question, and give them a source of information to tap if needed.
The weekend of October 24-26, I attended 2 functions in the Lexington GLBT community,representing the Belles. One event was with Ebony Male and the Pride Center; the other was working with the show downtown at the Lexington Bar Complex as they prepared for the BIG HOLIDAY October 31. Both groups were glad to see me, and I have some phone numbers of TS's wanting to join. I will snail mail them to Angela as Outreach Coordinator; these are some very touching letters.....
As for Holiday Party Plans: Mitzi and I have hooked up on this. We have nailed down the contract for the dinner and will be going to her club for the after hours. We will be in contact with Ebony Male and the Court for their help and partcipation, and we will be giving the details at our November meeting. As for the keynote speaker, Anne has asked Jennileigh Love, the newsletter editor and webmistress of the Tennessee Vals, as well as co-chairperson of the 1998 Southern Comfort Conference,
to speak, and she has accepted the invitation. So, our First Annual Christmas Party is coming together....
At the November 15 meeting, I am asking everyone to do the following: bring 3-5 pieces of clothing to trade at our swap meet before the meeting. All that is left will be donated to the AIDS clothing drive at the Lexington Pride Center.
Well, I suppose this little TS has grown old! That's right: as of October 12th, at 3:06pm, I turned 30. Well, you may ask: how does it feel? It feels great! I still get hit on by men, as well as the occasional lesbian. In terms of wisdom, that is coming as well. The more I see, the more I want to do. I remember when IFGE was w/o a web site, in 1995. By the end of the year, I had been one of three people that created and designed a web site for IFGE and others.
I also had some personal setbacks in this community, like being put in the street when I lived in San Francisco because I was a TS. I was naive and too honest, which cost me several jobs, especially my bank job in Louisville. However, there have been many moments that I have had in my life that have been positive. The founding of the Bluegrass Belles, this newsletter, "Images of Blackness", and the support of my family, to name a few.
Recently, I suffered one of the greatest blows . My supportive parents were dying !Cancer will take both of their lives in the future. When? I have no idea, but I know who does, a Higher Power! Now, I as I enter this phase of my life, I face new challeges and new obstacles. I can only hope that I can be up to the challenge. You know what? I think I am........
What? Change the name of our group? Why? Well, the Bluegrass Belles is a fine name one that is being recognized, but what about the FTMs? Well, we have always been an open group, no doubtwe want to encourage them to join our group, too, and we can't expect a guy to want to be a Bluegrass Belle, right? After all, ladies, we need escorts. So, we will GIVE AWAY a 50.00 gift certicate from Bacon/ McAlpins to the person who's suggestion is chosen. All entries should sent to me via snail mail or the email address, or you can add them at the November meeting, and we will vote on the new name then. Have Fun!
Love, Dawn Josephine Wilson
By Marjorie Demaille
On one level the notion of transgender organizations seems unlikely. Originally, the purpose is to provide a safe outlet for femme expression for the closeted folk. Having significant numbers of us concerned with security issues makes groups improbable as effectors for change. Even deciding whata group of us would like to do has not worked. The new people are too wrapped up in the release and self-discovery stage, and it is my feeling that they don't know what they want. There is the trans paradox here: We have the organizations that assemble numbers of our kind, but the individuals are too worried to do much. Still, I must note that, with not yet a year behind us, the Belles already have some kind of ... reputation? notoriety? As we have heard, some organizations run on the personality in charge (until that
one burns out).
Jennifer Comer is proposing Nov 20 in Lexington as a girls' evening out. Now, I see that this happens to be a CrossPort night. The last time we got out was similarly a CrossPort Thursday. Why don't some of you accompany me to their meeting? Maybe I'll blanket-post the Belles to poll opinion about a Thursday in Lexington for the interested. What would be wonderful for me would be another "out" person in Lexington. There is Dawn and I, and Dawn is pretty occupied with family and work matters. When she was here on the 16th of October, Jennifer met me at the Sine Qua Non lounge. You'll recall the Belles regrouped there following the September meeting. This time, we merely drank our wine and conversed quietly. The place is good for that. I'd suggest dressing warmly to go there, as I found it chilly. This wasone of the first nippy evenings after our October Indian Summer.
Actually, I haven't felt all that femme of late. Maybe it was that landing on my head: On Columbus Day, a dog ran in front of me like I was supposed to roll over it. Wrong. I went over the handlebars of my bicycle and landed on my back & head. Smushed my laptop, but I'm back online reliably again from my residence. Perhaps it is the two hard disk crashes in one week (one personal, one business), or maybe it was meeting Dave at the Vertigo the night of October 8th. Perhaps I feel over my head in stuff to be handled: You have to see the mess of computer parts, Belles papers, PC & climbing mags and girl stuff strewn about this residence. I want a house!
This week I got a manuscript from Dr Patricia Gagne of UofL, about their research into coming out experiences of M2F transgenderists and how little it challenges the binary system of gender. I had asked her to share the finished report with us next year, and she said okay.
A reminder, GLSO will conduct another networking night in Lexington. This will be on November 11 at the Lexington Pride Center.
Gender Hugs & Stuff,
Marjorie Demaille
Newsletter Editor, SWANS
Editor's Note: I'd like to publicly congratulate these gals for getting their group under way. If there's anything we can do to help, just ask. Good job, ladies!
Deanna and I have taken on the responsibility of getting a newsletter out for the SWANS. We would very much like to interact with all TG organizations in our area. We are principally a social group and don't pretend to be therapists. The only therapy is good company and a congenial atmosphere.
Knoxville, the home of many transgendered guys and girls, has always been pretty short on places to go to meet others who have at least one very important thing in common - a secret identity which they are learning to share with others. Earlier this year, a group known as SWANS (remember the story of the ugly duckling who became a beautiful swan?) was formed. Each month new faces have emerged from their anonymity to find a warm, welcoming group of friends in SWANS who understand their story.
SWANS is a fun place! Meetings are at 7:30 p.m. on the last Friday of each month in Knoxville. Open to all members of the transgendered community (all female and male wannabes), SWANS is a safe, congenial gathering where discretion and confidentiality are honored. Spouses or partners are invited too - everyone is made to feel welcome and a part of the group.
The October 31 meeting, Halloween night, encouraged everyone to come dressed as their favorite fantasy person (not too hard for most of us!) even if that person is just you dressed in the gender of your choice. Come as you feel comfortable (femme or not). A dressing area is available for individuals who prefer to undergo metamorphosis after they arrive. Our next meeting is November 28 (the day after Thanksgiving). The December meeting is December 26. If you are lonely or just want to celebrate the holidays in your favorite gender, we will be there. Join us!
Interested individuals may contact Jamie c/o
windi-knight@geocities.com or Deanna at DeannaLF@aol.com, or
write to SWANS c/o Alternative Counciling Center, 4901 Jacksboro
Pike, Knoxville, TN 37918 (telephone 423-687-8990) for more
details.The Bluegrass BelleView is the newsletter of the
Bluegrass Belles Transgender Support Group. We serve and welcome
crossdressers, transsexuals, significant others/friends/family
members of transgendered people, and anyone else with a
legitimate interest in transgenderism. We are not a sexual
encounter group. Our mailing address is PO Box 20173, Louisville,
KY. 40250. Any similar group may reprint any of the articles
herein with permission of the editor and writer; contact us using
the PO Box, or Email: Anne;
Dawn
, Marjorie;
or Angela