Hey, Wanna' Borrow a Jack?



W hile travelling along a lonesome country road, a salesman’s car suddenly started to veer to one side. He stopped, got out of his car and looked at the front left tire. Sure enough, it was flat. Well, “No problem,” he thought to himself, “I’ll just take off my suit coat, put on a pair of gloves and change the tire. I’ve still got plenty of time to make it to my next appointment.”

After opening the trunk of his car, and finding the spare was in fine shape, he discovered that there was no jack. Looking around, he saw a farmhouse set back far from the road. “Okay,” he said to himself, “still plenty of time. I’ll just walk up to that farmhouse and ask the farmer to borrow a jack. Then, I’ll walk back, change the tire, and then drive back with the jack. Still plenty of time.”

As the salesman walked the long tree lined lane to the house, he thought about what he would say to the farmer. Then, he began to think of what possible responses the farmer may have to his request to borrow a jack. “He might say, ‘ How’d you come to drive a car with a spare tire and no jack?’” The lane seemed much longer than it first appeared, but he was determined to get to the house, borrow the jack and be on his way. “Oh, I guess he might say, ‘Does this look like a service station to you?’” he thought to himself.

He continued on his way and thought to himself, “Now why doesn’t this farmer want to let me use his jack? He’ll probably grab his shotgun and run me off as soon as he sees me. Then I’ll never make it to my appointment. What the hell will I do then?”

The nearer the man got to the farm house, the angrier he became. Finally, as he was beginning to step onto the porch steps, the front door opened. The old farmer stepped out and said with a smile, “Hey mister, you wanna’ borrow a jack?” The salesman, replied, “You can keep your darn old jack. I’d rather walk all the way to the next town than borrow anything from you.” After that, the salesman turned around and headed back down the lane to his car. Meanwhile, the farmer looked on and scratched his head, saying to himself, “I wonder what his problem was?”

Despite my going to Las Vegas for a week en femme, as well as a few other “risky” outings, I have been reluctant to go about as freely here at home. Linda has been saying to me, “We really need to go out to more places than just the gay/lesbian area.” For some time, I was quite a bit reluctant to try any “straight” places for fear of what I assumed would happen. I was just certain that some “bubba” or “bubbette” would open their mouth and begin to harass us. As a result, it took a good bit of prodding on Linda’s part to get me to take a risk.

After gathering my courage and preparing for the worst, I told Linda that there was a local restaurant here in our home town that sounded just lovely. “Well, she said, why don’t we try it?” My response was, “Okay, let’s go there this weekend, I have just the outfit to wear.” Linda suggested that in order to prevent any problems, we simply call the manager and explain that Vanessa, her husband, was a crossdresser, and asked if that would pose a problem. I was certain that the manager would kindly suggest that we not dine there. Linda made the phone call and much to my surprise, the response was, “Not at all. You’re both more than welcome.”

My sister, Belinda, had a similar experience when telephoning the manager of a dinner theater in Dallas about a group of us attending. The response was the same, “No problem, we’d love to have you.”

So what’s the moral to the story? It’s simply this. You and I are the problem, not society. As we begin to explore and go out more and more, we find that the preconceived notions we had about others’ reactions were unfounded. The world, or society, is not something separate from us, but rather a projection of ourselves. If we go about expecting to be treated poorly because we are transgendered, then we will be. If, on the other hand, we present ourselves well, and behave as the ladies we wish ourselves to be, then there is no problem.

The next time you think about trying something new, and begin to think about the possible reactions of others remember the salesman and the farmer. Then say to yourself, “Hey, wanna’ borrow a jack?” Hugs, Vanessa

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