hat is this trend to define or justify ourselves by what it is we do not do? Not only do crossdressers succumb to this technique, but so do wives and partners. Where is the positive aspect in saying something akin to, "Well, sure I may be a compulsive gambler, but at least I´m not a drug addict?" Or, take for example, "Yes, my husband is a crossdresser, it´s okay with me, at least he doesn´t abuse me." Wait a minute, I think I missed something here. Let me try to put this in math terms, now if A=B, and B has nothing to do with C, then can A possibly be equal to C? I don´t think so.
All too often when trying to express the harmlessness in transgenderism, there is a tendency to do exactly what I have described above. Transgendered individuals seem to think that first of all, they have an obligation to justify their lifestyle to others and that the way to do this is to enumerate all of the bad habits they do not have. What´s wrong with this picture? I´ll tell you what´s wrong with it!
To start with, we do not need to justify what we do. Providing we do no harm to others, and in the case of partners, if there is no disharmony involved, it is no business of anyone else. Those that matter won´t mind, and those that mind, don´t matter. That is that. Secondly, attempts to justify transgenderism by comparing it to a laundry list of criminal activities does nothing to vindicate you or anyone else in the community. Saying something like, "Yes, I like to wear women´s clothing, but at least I am not a child molester," only serves to put transgenderism in the light of an endless list of negative activities.
Recently, I read an article written by the wife of a crossdresser. In the article she wrote that it was okay that her husband enjoyed his feminine self, after all, he didn´t abuse her or otherwise mistreat her. Why on earth would you want to even draw a similarity to crossdressing and wife beating? Would this same wife say something like, "Yes, I know he is obsessed with sports, but he doesn´t have sex with farm animals, so it´s okay with me"? I don´t think so. So why make such a s tatement with regard to crossdressing? I don´t like it, I don´t think others like it, and I resent the comparison.
If the need to explain to anyone that you, or your partner, were transgendered arose, it would be better to simply affirm that such is the case. If you choose to elaborate, do not give in to the pressure to justify what you do by listing what you do not do. Rather, explain how you feel when you transform yourself. Discuss that your partner is the same person regardless of outer appearance. Instead of itemizing all of the bad habits you (or your partner) do not have, catalogue the benefits of your gender -giftedness.
None of us will benefit from trying to justify who we are by what it is we do not do. There is nothing to gain by begging acceptance for committing a lesser sin. Being transgendered is not wrong, it is simply who we are. Respect the ways of others, yet accept first your own. Once you come to accept yourself, or your partner, as a person who is worthy of love and respect that is when the living will start.
Hugs, Vanessa