ender-Gifted? What on earth is this all about? The crossing of gender lines is nothing new. For centuries both men and women have felt an inner need to express more than one gender. Rather than viewing this as a shameful or deviant practice, many cultures have revered and/or accepted such individuals as an important part of their society.
Here, in the western hemisphere, the prime example would be the Berdache (pronounced ber-dash) among the American Indians. Another example comes from ancient times when male-priestesses were plentiful.
The resources presented within these pages pertain primarily to male to female crossdressers as well as couples in which one, or both partners are transgendered. While we do have some links for TS support, transsexualism is its own portion of the spectrum of transgenderism and is not our particular area of expertise.
For those not familiar with the vast spectrum of transgenderism, we present the Alphabet Soup, taken from our book,"Life With Vanessa"
If you find yourself in a relationship with a crossdresser, or you, yourself, are a crossdresser, you may be faced with learning an entirely new vocabulary. In addition, people tend to feel much more comfortable when they can use labels and define people by what it is they do, or don’t do.
It is an unfortunate fact that so many stigmas accompany labels such as those that follow. Prejudging people based upon what they do, what they wear or what their sexual orientation is prevents one from finding out what truly fine people they are. We present the following discussion on terms out of necessity. None of these terms have a negative connotation to us and we have many dear friends who fit within each category. We view people as individuals, without labels.
Let’s look at some of the terms that are currently floating around the “TG Community;” in fact, “TG” is probably a good place to begin!
TG stands for transgendered. This term is used extensively and the exact definition appears a bit clouded. If we say that “sex” is what you do in the bedroom and everything else is gender, perhaps we will be accused of oversimplifying the matter; however, it is a good place to start.
This web site deals primarily with crossdressing, and in that light we are focusing on individuals who have an innate need to express themselves in both their “birth” gender as well as an “alternate” gender. In the case of a male crossdresser this would mean that not only does he live as, and present a “masculine” image, but he also has a need and desire to experience and present a “feminine” image. Throughout this process, the individual retains his birth sex. By this we mean that they have not undergone any surgical or hormonal alteration of their body.
Recently, the term “transgenderist” has been used to describe one who crossdresses full-time. In other words, this is an individual who has made a conscious decision to live their life completely in his/her alternate gender role.
For the purposes of this site, we use the term transgender to apply to anyone who has a need to experience life or express themself in an alternate gender role regardless of duration, frequency or sexual orientation.
Now, let’s look at the terms “crossdress” and “crossdresser.” Very frequently these words are replaced with the fashionable “CD” and “CD’er.” Quite simply stated, these apply to a person who so chooses to wear clothing normally intended for an individual of another gender. In fact, while it is said that five to ten percent of men are crossdressers, the percentage of women who crossdress, by strict definition, is far greater. The difference lies in the idea that it is “okay” for a woman to wear men's clothing, and it is even considered cute or attractive. This is, of course, a societal viewpoint and changes in this take a great deal of time. Unisex clothing is not nearly as well accepted in some parts of the country as others and it is likely to be a good long time before it is commonly accepted for men to wear lingerie, if ever.
Another word which means exactly the same thing as crossdresser is “transvestite.” It is common to see the abbreviation “TV” used in place of this word. This is an especially useful term in case you happen to be at a cocktail party where everyone prefers to use Latin. The trend in recent times has been to replace the term transvestite with crossdresser because it sounds nicer. The bottom line is that these words mean the same thing and it is only a matter of personal preference.
The acronyms CD and TV unfortunately lend themselves well to being used in some terrible puns. For example, “What’s on the TV tonite?” meaning, “Gee, what should I wear?” Also, with the increasing popularity of compact discs and certificates of deposits, the term CD sometimes brings knowing smiles. These are very bad puns which Vanessa admits to using.
There are variations of crossdressers; in fact, the spectrum of crossdressers is as vast as the number of individuals who crossdress. Basically, let’s cover the fetishist as opposed to the mainstream crossdresser.
The crossdressers about whom this book is written are those who actually undergo a mental transformation as well as a transformation in appearance. Their dream, or ideal, is to not only appear feminine, but to also immerse themselves within a feeling of actually being a woman, as opposed to simply being “a man in a dress.” We will deal with this transformation process in a later chapter.
It is a rather difficult line to draw when discussing the fetishist. This individual is typically defined as one who achieves sexual satisfaction or great arousal from the wearing of feminine apparel. While this may or may not be an accurate description of the fetishist, it does overlap into the realm of the other crossdressers who do receive sexual arousal and pleasure from their activities. For the sake of this discussion, we will say that the fetishist crossdresses solely for the purposes of achieving sexual satisfaction.
The term “en femme” is used to mean a crossdresser who is attired in female clothing and in the feminine role. This feminine role is often referred to as one’s “femme persona.”
Okay, so we have pretty much covered the terms used in this site; however, there are a few others that you may find useful, such as TS, FI, and DQ.
TS is short for transsexual. Unlike the the crossdresser, the TS has decided to align the anatomical structure with the mental and emotional gender identity. Along with the term transsexual, it is useful to know what transition and SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) are.
Transition is the process during which the individual goes full-time, begins hormone therapy and eventually undergoes surgery (SRS). Those who elect not to have SRS, and who still live full-time in their alternate gender role, may be referred to as transgenderists.
FI is the common way to refer to female impersonators. These are men whose chosen profession is to portray female characters on the stage or in the movies. FI shows are becoming ever and ever more popular and the professionals are often quite gorgeous and convincing in their portrayals.
Much as all squares are rectangles, yet not all rectangles are squares, so it is here. Technically speaking, all FIs are crossdressers, yet not all FIs are transgendered. A good many of the female impersonators are simply very good at what they do and use their talents on stage to make a nice income.
Next we have the DQ (not Dairy Queen!) This term is used for the drag queens. The drag queen differs significantly from the CD who we focus on within this site. Drag queens tend to adopt their feminine role or persona as a means to attract sexual partners, generally homosexual.
Just as ice cream comes in multitude of flavors, so do those within the realm of the transgendered. Often one hears the term, “Hetero CD”, meaning a crossdresser who is heterosexual. While it may very well be true that the majority of crossdressers are heterosexual, this should in no way be viewed as an absolute. In fact, there are a good many crossdressers who adopt alternate sexual orientations as they change their gender roles.
We have a good friend who is crossdresser. When he is his male-self, he only has sexual relations with women. When he becomes his female-self, “she” only has sexual relations with men. Is this heterosexual? Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn’t. The lines of definition become even more blurred for the TS as they progress through transition. For us, sexual orientation is not a relevant standard against which to measure a person’s worth!
“Underdressing” doesn’t mean wearing blue jeans to a fancy party. It is a term used to describe the wearing of lingerie under everyday male clothing. It is quite a bit more common than you may imagine and a way for the CD to sublimate his need for complete dressing.
There are two more terms that you may often hear or read, SO (significant other) and GG (genetic girl). Perhaps in some sort of attempt to be politically correct it has become increasingly more common to refer to one’s spouse or partner as their significant other. The abbreviation GG is quite common in transgender publications and refers to a woman who was born a woman as opposed to a transsexual or crossdresser.
It is our belief that upon this earth there is great diversity of individuality. Each person is entitled to pursue their own unique expression, providing they do so without causing harm to another person.
We view transgenderism, and crossdressing in particular, as a means of self-expression that causes no harm and one that should not be viewed through spectacles tinted with guilt or prejudice. In that same light, we within the TG community have an obligation and a need to accept the ways of those who are different from us. Yet, in order to reach this point, we need to understand and respect ourselves.
We hope that you find our site informative and perhaps entertaining. If you are a crossdresser or the partner of a crossdresser, there are times when you may feel the need for contact with others like yourself. There is a vast network of support and we'll be happy to help you find someone in your area to share with you.
Feel free to contact us and ask about "The Couples' Network."
Hugs,
Vanessa and Linda Kaye