There are lots of people out there in genderland who will give you bad advice. If you heed it, you may find yourself in a lot of trouble, either psychologically or physically. It will behoove you to spot this bad advice and avoid it. You only go around once, Esmerelda, and you'll have to live with the consequences of your actions for years to come-- the ones who are giving your bad counsel won't, and neither will they be around to hear your laments.
And who will give you this bad advice? Well, it will come from all directions. You may find yourself facing a minister who will tell you you are a sinner and should stop your cross-gender activity immediately; a friend who will try to persuade you that you are really homosexual, and should just give it a try, maybe with her cousin Ted; an attorney who will supposedly be working for you, but could more accurately be said to be working for your spouse; someone you meet in a bar who assures you that silicone injections are a safe, quick, and easy route to beauty; or a psychologist or psychiatrist who will attempt to "cure" you. Bad advice may come from a support group, which will encourage you to go full-speed ahead into a transition you may neither want nor need, or from an employer, who will try to convince you that for the good of yourself and others, you should quit your job and seek employment elsewhere.
The consequences of heeding this bad advice can vary from a loss of direction to a medical crisis. If you follow the counsel of someone who tries to convince you that you can "beat" your transgender feelings, you may lose a year or two or five to frustration, self-destructive behavior, and denial. If you heed the medical advice of someone whose prime credential is being heavily painted and in a drag show, you may find yourself in acute cardiac distress after you inject "hormones" you buy on the street. You must learn to differentiate the good guidance from the bad and make your own carefully thought out and wise decisions.
One way to make smart choices is to be an educated consumer. The more you know about transsexualism and transgenderism, the more you will be aware of your various options, and the probable consequences of each. You can learn by attending support groups, by reading good literature, by finding a competent and caring therapist, and by following the Standards of Care of the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA). The HBIGDA Standards of Care provide a clear guide through the process of transition. No, not everybody likes them, or feels that they apply to them, but nobody has ever gotten screwed up by following them, either.
Another way to ensure your safety is to entrust yourself to a gender clinic or knowledgeable therapist. The problem here is that you must be sure that you agree with the philosophy of treatment and the methods that will be used. Certainly, credentials are important; your therapist should be licensed, and preferably a member of HBIGDA and the professional division of AEGIS. But competent care is more than credentials. No matter how well someone comes recommended, or how many degrees they have, you should exercise caution and seek a second opinion when you think one is needed.
Some advice is so bad that it can be spotted right off. If anyone gives tells you any of the following, thank them, but for goddess' sake, ignore them.
Following the Standards of Care will provide a variety of safeguards and ensure good supervision and medical care. Your therapist or support group should be able to outline the Standards for you, but if you will send a stamped, self-addressed long envelope to:
AEGIS
P.O. Box 33724
Decatur, GA 30033
we will send you a pamphlet about them.
Or, you can send Email to
Dallas Denny