Stop The Madness, Now!
t seems more apparent to us recently that the "gender" community, as a whole, is becoming less open to contrasting viewpoints, and that there is major growth in separatism and segregation of diverse people. There is an obvious lack of tolerance and purposely hurtful attacks from all segments of the community. At a time when we should all be growing closer, we are growing further and further apart and less of a "community" in the sense of cooperating and supporting one another.
No one is more guilty of contributing to this strife than we are. The ongoing fray between ourselves and Tri-Ess has reached a conclusion. Basically, we have "agreed" to "disagree" and to respect one anothers’ viewpoints. In addition, we have begun a new dialogue which provides a means of communicating new ideas. This dialogue is two-way, and that is as it should be.
Despite claims in the TG press about "conferences" for cooperation between groups, there is still the human tendency to want to be the "-est" of the community. By this we mean, the oldest, biggest, best"est", openest, strongest and the list goes on and on. What is missing here, is the realization that no one group can adequately satisfy the needs of the TG community at large. This is the lesson we learned more than two years ago in Oklahoma City. As a result of our experiences, we formed an alliance of groups. The groups have their own special area of focus, yet we all cooperate as a whole. There is mutual respect between the diverse groups, we share ideas, we have a common treasury, we produce a joint newsletter and we have "unity events."
Recently, Linda spoke with a major leader within the community, who stated that many in her support group, which is primarily heterosexual crossdressers, had come to the conclusion that "all" transsexuals were "fruitloops." This statement is indicative of the intolerance of diversity, as well as guilty of lumping all transsexuals into a category, rather than looking at them as individuals. How very, very cruel.
Perhaps more frightening is the trend of backbiting anyone who dares to express in writing an opposing viewpoint. Rather than respect the right of free speech from others, many within the community take any opposition as a personal attack on themselves or the organizations they may belong to or lead. What happened to the right given us by our forefathers (and foremothers) who sacrificed much to give us the Bill of Rights, which includes the right of free speech? What happened to open-mindedness when constructive criticism is offered? What ever happened to common decency and respect for each other? Has courtesy disappeared from our TG community?
The more "leaders" in this community with whom we come in contact, the more we are convinced that there is no single organization or person that has "all the answers." The true leaders know this and welcome ideas and suggestions for improvement.
Vanessa’s grandfather used to say, "There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who think there are two kinds of people, and those who don’t." Well, within the TG community, there are a myriad of persons. Can they all be divided into three general areas as we have done in Oklahoma City? Perhaps, perhaps not. However, we need to start somewhere. If the three groups who take the lead are AEGIS, Renaissance and Tri-Ess, so be it. What’s interesting about COTA, is that there is no sense of competition amongst the three sister interest groups. Rather, what we have experienced is a tremendous network of cooperation and referral.
Those within this entire community have endured so much pain and harassment, both individually and as a whole. There has been individual and societal rejection and condemnation of something that is a natural part of a transgendered person’s personality and humanity.
All of us, transgendered and spouse/partner have endured enough with our own personal struggles. Let’s put this national bickering behind us and get on with the business of helping others. Respect, and not "tolerance" is the key to our future.
Click your heels three times and say there's no place like home.
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