One Moment From Heaven

By Vanessa Kaye


e have all been given one moment from heaven. When looked at in the perspective of the time encompassed by the universe, all that has been and all that will be, our time here is quite brief. How shall we spend this moment? Shall we spend it concerned with why we are transgendered? Shall we spend our days feeling burdened by the fact that our partners wish to wear female clothing? Or, shall we move on and make our days "good days?"

This is a new year, and traditionally people tend to make resolutions in order to "improve" themselves and their lot in life. If you are among the transgendered persons or the partner of one who continues to ask "why?", we encourage you to go beyond this point. Take some time to put things into perspective. Go back with us now to those exciting days of yore. We see our fearless hero, Indiana Jones, being tossed into a pit. Of all the perils he has faced, surely nothing can deter or frighten him. Yet, as we see him in the bottom of the pit, surrounded by poisonous vipers, we hear him say, "Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?" Our hero has a fear of snakes. Of all of the multitude of misfortunes he has faced, his one and only fear is snakes.

Each of us has that one thing that we seemingly cannot face. For the transgendered person, it may be "Why am I this way?" For the partner, it is, "Crossdressing! Why did it have to be crossdressing?" When we hear statements such as these, we try to help the person, or couple, to put it all into perspective, within the framework of their relationship.

"Why did it have to be crossdressing?" Well, is crossdressing a bad thing? What would you have preferred? Drug addiction? Compulsive gambling? Spousal abuse? An affinity for goats?

Being transgendered, be it crossdressing or transsexualism, is not a flaw, but rather, a rare gift. At times, this gift may seem like a burden, or a negative trait, yet it is not. Transgenderism is nothing new. In fact, it is as old as recorded history. In many cultures, transgenderism is honored. In these cultures, the transgendered person is viewed as having a "special gift" as well as a unique place within the society. It is only within the Western cultures, with their strictly defined lines of "proper conduct" that transgenderism is vilified.

Is it surprising to you that so many transgendered persons are closeted, afraid, confused and filled with guilt? We only have "one moment from heaven." This is your moment. It is time to put the past and the guilt behind. Now is the time to start living and fully experiencing all that you are and can be. Within this brief moment, there is no time to waste on guilt, shame and fear. Use your one moment from heaven wisely. Use this time to fully develop all that you can be, male, female, human.

If you are the partner of a transgendered person, take the time to look at things in perspective. Is transgenderism really all that bad? Is it such a great burden? Think about all of the good traits your partner has. Instead of focusing on the negative, nurture the positives. Your transgendered partner most likely has, and displays, a sensitivity that is far and above most other males. Isn’t this a positive?

The time to change our perspective views is now. Tomorrow may be too late. This brief moment will be gone before you know it. And you will not have another opportunity to enjoy and experience all that this world has to offer you. Start recognizing the gift of transgenderism and get on with the rest of your lives.

When a person, or a couple, accepts the transgendered nature for what it is, the rest of the issues can be faced openly, honestly, and in true perspective. There are far more issues within a relationship than transgenderism. Get on with your lives and enjoy this "one moment from heaven."
Hugs, Vanessa



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