To pass or not to pass. That is the question. For some of us, nature has given us the answer. Some of us are passable while for others it is completely out of the question and no expertise with makeup wand or fashion selection will overcome some men's natural masculine features. Genetic factors such as height, breadth or a striking resemblance to Ernest Borgnine can make passing an unattainable dream.
What of the rest of us in the vast middle ground where the proper application here or the correct choice there may give us some hope of passable femininity? Let's take a look at the concept of passing and see if it's the objective we should all be striving for - or perhaps merely an idea to be scrapped in favor of a more rewarding alternative.
Let's agree on one basic fact from the beginning: passing is a relative term. Let's also define passability as a measure along a continuum rather than a specific measurable point of feminine believability. For example, many crossdressers can "pass" providing the observer is far enough away to miss some telltale signals. Likewise, many of us can pass in close quarters if the lighting is subdued or if there are other distractions to the observer's attention in the near vicinity. Very few crossdressers can pass in daylight or close quarters in an easily observed area. Along the spectrum of passability, we all fall somewhere. The difficulty for each of us is in discovering at what point we pass and beyond which we do not.
The widespread advice for passing in public is to dress down in an attempt to blend in with the surroundings and not stand out like a... well, a man in women's clothing, hence increasing one's chances of passing. But this is a difficult thong for us to do because even if we choose sedate fashions to wear in public, we need quite a bit of makeup to conceal some masculine features while enhancing others to create a feminine visage. And makeup in the quantities that we often need to apply is quite a bit more than most women wear even if they're going to a fancy dress affair. Of course, subtlety in makeup application is something that can be learned but for the most part we are still heavily made up compared to most women in almost any setting.
So, let's consider a best case scenario for passing at, say, the local shopping center, restaurant, or stroll along the street. We are wearing our most conservative wig and our makeup is understated in quantity and coloration. We are wearing a simple blouse and conservative length skirt, slacks, or perhaps a very simple dress, and accessorization is at a minimum, not at all showy, and we are wearing flat-soled or very low heeled shoes. Are we having fun yet?
And, even if we look like our own Aunt Jane in our dress-down duds, we must still wonder if we aren't being read for other reasons like height, gait, or simply un-passable masculine features such as a protruding Adam's Apple or large hands. I won't even bring up the subject of voice.
How many of you are saying, "But that's not me; I pass all the time." Well, maybe you do, but it's probably a matter of staying within your space on the passing continuum and, more pointedly, simply not being observed very closely. The question I want to raise is whether passing under the constraints mentioned above is a rewarding experience.
It has to do with personal tastes and motivations for crossdressing. Some strive for the totally believable look that will enable us to pass in any situation. Others favor varying degrees of more noticeable fashions from party chic to drag queen extravagance. If you enjoy wearing party dresses and high heels, then the realities of passing would impose severe crimps in your personal style.
Yet each of us, no matter what our tastes or motivations might be, would like to be accepted as a woman in whatever guise we might create for ourselves. The concept of passing has therefore acquired the cachet of being the loftiest form of crossdressing. The problems with that widespread notion is that for many of us passing is out of the question be it for physical or aesthetic limitations. An Ernest Borgnine look-alike can't pass because of physical limitations; but a would-be Marilyn Monroe isn't going to enjoy dressing like Miss Hathaway because of the aesthetic crimp.
If you are determined to get out of the house, there are places to go that do not require you to pass perfectly. Crossdressers' support groups, some gay/drag nightclubs, some avant-garde or more cosmopolitan watering holes, and some boutiques and shops are to be found where you could be accepted without regard to your passability. Finding these places may be easier in some locations than others, but they can be found.
No matter how highfalutin' your crossdressing motivations may be, it is still very much a visual and tactile experience. If your aesthetic sense-of-self cannot get interested in wearing dowdy clothes and flats in order to pass publicly, don't despair. A butterfly won't enjoy becoming a caterpillar again. Passing may not be the height of self-actualization for your femme-self. If, however, you are interested in blending yourself into the environment to pass as a woman in order to express yourself, consider the notion of the passing continuum. Think about some mix of your own appearance factors and a venue in which you might be able to move about freely at minimum risk of detection.
You may come - or have already come - to the conclusion that passing is not for you, but that doesn't make you any less of a woman.
Go to:
The ITS Archive
The LL Archives
CDS Menu
© 1996 by cdspub.com