Over There

by Stacy Novak, co-ordinator of TransEssex

Do TV's look in the mirror and fall in love with themselves? Do they fancy the women in the mirror more than their wife or partner? Do they try to model themselves on their favourite female or do they try to model their partner on how they would like themselves to be?
I ask these questions because so many wives and partners phone me in a distressed state, feeling threatened by their partner's crossdressing. I have noticed over the years that many of the "girls" attending my group [TransEssex] do not use much make-up, if any. It reminds me of the peacock; the male all glamorous, colourful and beautiful while the female is grey and dowdy.
So he paints his face and plucks his eyebrows, where is the threat? Unless he is obviously bisexual, any attention paid to him by another male will be taken lightly. He may feel flattered while dressed, receiving compliments from another man. In fact, he may enjoy dancing with another man, but this is all part of the fantasy of being a woman.
Trannies, however, without realising it, can be very selfish towards their female partner. There must be a compromise if a successful relationship is to exist. It usually is like this; she marries the man of her dreams with hair on his body, masculine ways, and is shocked to find out differently.
It's no fun for a TV putting on a pair of sheer stockings over hairy legs, so very often one of the first things a woman loses on learning about her partner's crossdressing is her furry bear husband. It's almost as though he feels that "I've told her, now let's get this lot off". How do you handle this? It's difficult, I know. Perhaps he could let his hair grow in for summer vacations.
For the TV - a good way of helping your partner to feel wanted is to remember when you buy your stockings, buy her a pair, too. Never let your partner feel neglected or unwanted and particularly never let her feel unglamorous. Try to share her problems and listen to her worries and fears. She may snap at times, try not to snap back. But do try to share as much as you can. She needs to be aware that you are aware of her.
If You're Visiting -- Ann from Gaithersbury wrote to me asking if there was a particular area in London where the girls gathered. I wrote to explain it's more a matter of being in the right place at the right time.
There are various places where the girls get together, but not necessarily on a regular basis. In Earls Court, the Philbeach Hotel has a restaurant where, on a Saturday night, you could see a dozen or more crossdressers, and on other occasions only two. Madam JoJo's, in Brewer Street, Soho, is a gay piano bar where TVs are welcome, but once again it's hit or miss. Anyone traveling to the UK should get in touch with me beforehand if they want to come to New TransEssex meetings as there are reasonably priced local motels where you can stay.
If the dates do not correspond with our meetings, we could arrange for a meeting at the Philbeach Hotel and bring some girls along for company. Essex is about 40 minutes train journey from London and about an hour and a half by car (this is easiest) but train and taxi will get you to New TransEssex meetings.
So don't forget, if you are coming over here, do get in touch. Happy Dressing,

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