Friday, December 5th, 1997
By Lee Poston

Daily Diary Archives

Soccer and Sausages

Lee Poston Following the announcement of the World Cup Soccer pairings, WWF staged a World Cup soccer match of it's own today -- only the stakes in this one are a lot higher (although many soccer fans will vehemently disagree -- please, no hate mail).

At precisely 9:30 a.m. Kyoto time, clad in panda shirt, bicycle shorts and some very risqué black knee-high socks, Climate Chronicler and "referee" Andrew Kerr emerged from the WWF office in the event hall carrying a giant blow-up "planet/soccer ball." As a phalanx of TV and still photographers looked on, the leaders of the world's major industrial nations then appeared -- UK's Tony Blair (Nick Mabey), Japan's Ryutaro Hashimoto (Yurika Ayukawa), Germany's Helmut Kohl (Stephan Singer), Russia's Boris Yeltsin (Michael Rae), and the US's Bill Clinton (Peter DeBrine).

Andrew Kerr At Soccer Match Standing before a giant banner that read "Stop Playing Games With Our Planet," Kerr blew the whistle and the players kicked off, vying for control of the "ball." One-by-one, Kerr pulled out yellow cards for each world leader, warning them that if they didn't do something about global warming, they would get a red card and be sent off the field.

"Clinton," for example, was told to "stop acting as if you own the ball," while Hashimoto was reminded that "this game is being played on your field."

Adam Markham, the Director of the Campaign, then gave a run down of where the conference stands so far, and what groups like WWF expect from the leaders of the industrialized nations. This piece of performance art appeared to go over quite well with the gathered journalists, who for some unexplained reason are tired of photographing diplomats and lobbyists in dark suits discussing arcane technical issues in the hallways and corridors of the conference center.

Since most of the policy experts are either still at the conference hall, or winding down an intense week at the NGO party in downtown Kyoto, we'll wait until tomorrow's posting for details on the political situation. Needless to say, it's been a week of highs and lows, with more lows today than highs. The political maneuvering is a sight to behold, as countries both small and large leverage for advantage in what amounts to one of the world's largest craps game. If, as they say, watching the policymaking process is a lot like watching sausage being made (you like the final product, but you don't necessarily want to see it happen), then these negotiatons must be the Polska Kielbasa of diplomacy.

Negotiations will definitely continue throughout the weekend, and will build in anticipation of Vice President Al Gore's visit on Monday.

Correction: In yesterday's correction, the word correction was misspelled.