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Where are they now?
But after the breakup, he moved, since there wasn't enough room in this town for both of you. Threatening to maim him if he didn't probably expedited his decision. So where do you start looking for him? You're really not motivated enough to fork over the cash to hire a private detective. And you severed all ties to his deadbeat friends and relatives after you got your Bee Gees albums back. So what's left? Well, there's this neat little thing called the Internet. Maybe you've heard of it. Perhaps you can find that chump online, if you let your fingers do the surfing. At least ten reputable people locators are online, waiting to serve you for free. Apparently our nice friends at the phone company -- as well as Internet Service Providers -- have given or sold our personal address, phone, and e-mail info to these companies. So you may be listed on the Net, whether you like it or not. Sure, this is a bit disconcerting, but think of the benefits. If anyone's trying to find you for a reunion, or to inform you that long-lost Great Uncle Cleophus left you a not-so-small fortune, your contact info -- online or actual street address -- will probably be available. Say someone wants to send you a card and can't get anywhere with the telephone directory or mutual friends. They recall that you were hip, attractive, fabulously witty, and incredibly smart, and so conclude that you're most likely online, with either a personal Web page or an e-mail address. Even if you're not publicly online, hey, you have to live somewhere, right? So this person enters your name into an online locator and shazaam, you're back in touch with that horrible pest who had a crush on you in driver's ed, who was always backseat flirting. Stop procrastinating. (This isn't work.) Get out there and find the new chip-scarfing poster boy. And Great Uncle Cleophus, before it's too late. But be careful. Stalking is not just for kicks anymore. People get pissed. |
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