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Heart day is on the way
But just where are you sposta meet people these days? The bar scene just isn't doing it for you anymore and none of the gym rats will give you the time of day. Plus you've met every single friend-of-a-friend who exists. Perhaps you should look a little closer to home. In fact, look in your home, on the desk -- that big old machine sitting there might just be the answer. In this digital age, getting online can be the equivalent of getting shot in the derriere with one of Cupid's arrows. Even though tons of dough is spent on silicon and liposuction, people are finding that meeting someone without ever setting eyes on them is actually satisfying. Online romances are very hip these days. Just ask sitcom writers. You can "meet" someone, have a serious relationship, and give them the boot without ever setting eyes on them. And all from the comfort of your own home, school, or office. It's so simple, so convenient, so '90s. Maybe this is sounding a bit clinical for you. Maybe you're thinking that doing without that first buzz of physical attraction is taking all the fun out of it. Maybe you're thinking that meeting someone online is for geeks. Maybe you should clue in. This is the way to go, pal. Where else can you find out if your betrothed can spell on the first "date"? Not only will you find online dating services, newsgroups, and pictures, but you'll get a snootful of romantic advice, along with crowded -- but not smokey -- chat rooms and a heapin' helping of suitor tools, like flowers, chocolate, and fine shom-pahn-ya. Once you've met your dreamboat, you can hang out together in private chat rooms, send each other GIF files of yourselves, and -- if you're really fearless -- your phone number. Then, once he or she starts bumming you out, you can dump that former heartthrob with a form letter and you don't even have to get your hands dirty. All you need is Dreamboat's e-mail address and about five minutes. Online romance is fun. I mean it. Do it. Who knows? You might just be able to scare up someone to smooch in time for your favorite pressure holiday -- and mine -- Valentine's Day. |
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