Back in '03

"Grampa Bert! Grampa Bert! I saw a morsikle in the barn!"

"Eh?"

"I saw a morsikle in the barn! Under a old blanket! Is it yours Grampa Bert? Is it?"

"Saddle up on my knee here, Sonny Bert, it's time I told you a little story. That there in the barn is one fine motorcycle. A 1993 Harley Davidson. I used to ride it everywhere."

"How come you don't ride it no more? How come nobody rides it no more? I never saw a real morsikle! Only in books."

"Well there was a day when a lot of folk rode motorcycles. There was all kinds of motorcycles. Ones that went fast. Ones that you could pack a month's worth of gear on and go across the country. And ones that you could putt around on just 'cause you liked it, just like Grampa Bert's."

"Wha happened?"

"One day some people in the government..."

"Govament?"

"Oh yea. The government is a bunch of people who run the country. You know, like the president. The president is the boss of the government. They make all the laws and tell us what's good for us and bad for us. If they think something is bad for us they pass a law so that we can't do that anymore."

"Is that what happened to morsikles?"

"Yes. The government took a count of all the people who were getting hurt on motorcycles and found out that most of them were young people like your uncle's age on the motorcycles made to go fast. So they passed a law against the motorcycles that go fast."

"But I thought all morsikles go fast."

"Well your right. No one knew how fast was too fast. They tried to say it by how powerful they were but then they found out that some motorcycles that were less powerful went even faster because they were lighter. Then they tried to say the ones that looked like race bikes with the wrap-around fairing, er... windshield and that didn't work, either. There was just too much confusion as to what was a fast motorcycle. Finally they settled on naming them outright like California did a few years earlier."

"But I thought California was part of the United States."

"Yea. Well that's a-whole-nother story."

"How could they do that? Can't people stop them. Can't we stop them?"

"We could if we all got together and said 'No! We won't let you do this!' But we didn't."

"Why?"

"Well because not everbody rode motorcycles. And even those that did, didn't stick together. Even some of the people who rode motorcycles didn't like the motorcycles that went fast and didn't stick up for them. They didn't realize that the people in the government didn't really know the difference between motorcycles at all and what they really felt is that they were all bad.

Once the law was passed against fast motorcycles it wasn't long before the focus went to the other motorcycle groups and eventually more laws were passed to outlaw all motorcycles on the street. And that's the end of the story."

"My teacher told us a story like that except for guns."

"You're a good kid, Sonny Bert. As a matter of fact the exact story happened for guns except instead of 'fast motorcycles' it was for what they called 'assault weapons.' It's my fault, kid. Me and all the other Grampas out there. We could have stopped it all. I'm sorry, Sonny."

"It's OK Grampa Bert."

"I wish it was, kid. I wish it was. Now go on back outside and play. Oh, and don't forget your helmet."

Thanks to Randy Bertuccelli (rbdesign@el-dorado.ca.us) for the great story.

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