On Thursday, August 25th, 1994, at 8 p.m. PST, "My So-Called Life" (MSCL) debuted after more than a year of languishing in programming limbo at ABC. The first show of the new fall season to air, MSCL's debut had been a long-anticipated event. The pilot for the show was shot in January of 1993, and shown to the Powers That Be in April. The buzz was good: here, at last, was a thoughtful drama told from the perspective of a 15-year-old girl. Produced by Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick, the creative team that helmed the successful "thirtysomething" series, MSCL looked as if it would generate the same praise and adulation its predecessor had. ABC's usually unflappable programmers reportedly flipped for the pilot. Ted Harbert, president of ABC's Entertainment division, said, "Not since 'Moonlighting' has there been a show that when the rough cut comes in, the place stops." In early May, the call from up above came down: ABC had reserved 6 slots for hourlong series in its fall lineup, and MSCL would not be one of them. Their show hadn't made the first cut, but there was a chance that it could be brought in as a mid-season replacement. ABC's option on the show would run out in December. Zwick and Herskovitz spent the summer of 1993 waiting for further word. Finally, on October 7th, ABC green-lighted 7 more episodes. But production couldn't resume until January 1994, so there was little chance of MSCL airing any time before March. If the in-house buzz was good before, it was even better now. On October 24th, _The New York Times_ featured an article on the show and ABC programmers' indecision over the MSCL time slot. By February, the word around town was that MSCL would be The Drama To Watch. _Newsweek_ gave it a thumbs up, deeming Herskovitz and Zwick "the best (and brightest) the medium has. [...] They try to make TV forget its only teevee." When _Rolling Stone_ came out with its Hot Issue, MSCL merited a mention as Hot TV Show: "[W]e wait for the inevitable moralizing conclusion -- or at least a public-service announcement. But it never comes." All this before the pilot had even aired. So, why didn't MSCL make it anywhere into the 1993-1994 season? The problem, according to Harbert, was that programmers couldn't figure out the right spot for the show. The traditionally family-oriented 8 p.m. time slot would draw younger viewers, but ABC felt the show might be too sophisticated, provocative, and "agonizingly honest" for that audience. On the other hand, at 10 p.m. the show might capture the adult audience, who could relate to the ordeal of the Chase parents, but that would mean sacrificing most of the potential younger viewing audience. The logical compromise would be a 9 p.m. assignment, but ABC was completely booked at 9:00 -- except for Thursdays. Programmers nixed trying that slot, which would have pitted the newbie MSCL against the NBC blockbuster "Seinfeld." Instead, they gave MSCL the only spot they could come up with: sitting on a shelf, waiting in the wings for its own spot in the '94-'95 fall season. Rather than giving it a late spring tryout, Harbert decided MSCL would fare better in its own 8 p.m. slot on Thursday nights. ("Missing Persons" was axed, as was its mid-season replacement, "The Byrds of Paradise.") Hoping to catch the attention of young viewers before school resumed, late August was set for the the long-awaited premiere. Throughout June and July, ABC ran a batch of promos for MSCL, depicting the show as an honest, non-90210 portrayal of the teenage experience. The commercial voice-overs informed listeners that _Rolling Stone_ had named MSCL the best new show of the season. Anticipation was high. ABC hoped for another "thirtysomething"-sized hit on their hands, and the MSCL team was eager to present their baby to the world. All that was left was for the show to premiere. It did just that, on August 25th. Critics gave the show generally positive reviews, and even the detractors were praising star Claire Danes for her dead-on portrayal of Everyteen. In an otherwise unremarkable season, reviewers embraced the originality and authenticity MSCL had to offer. Now if only the Nielsen families could do the same... Showing their faith in MSCL, ABC ordered six more episodes, the first of which aired Oct. 27th. The network later ordered four additional episodes, bringing the total to 19 episodes, just 4 under a complete season. Recognizing the series' unique spin, the Viewers for Quality Television recently added MSCL to its Qualified Support list. Operation Life Support, an organization of fans dedicated to saving MSCL, aims to keep MSCL on the air (read on). However, whether the show will survive long enough for Angela (and us) to see her junior year is still uncertain. At the time of this writing, MSCL's future is not the brightest, and there has even been talk of moving the series to cable, or another network. On Dec. 5th, ABC delivered the crushing news: after the last of the new episodes airs in January, MSCL will go on hiatus -- a word often associated with, but not necessarily synonymous for cancellation. Taking its time slot will probably be either "Extreme," a new action-adventury type show, or more episodes of your favorite lawyer and mine, "Matlock." Claire was also included in its section on "New Faces." _Time_ mentioned MSCL in their best of TV section, as have many other noteworthy newspapers and magazines. On Dec. 22nd, Golden Globe nominations were announced, and our own Claire Danes received MSCL's only nod, as Best Actress (Drama). She faces stiff competition from Kathy Baker ("Picket Fences") and Angela Lansbury ("Murder, She Wrote"), and (no) competition from Jane Seymour ("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman") and (don't laugh) Heather Locklear ("Melrose Place"). Despite the rave reviews, MSCL's ratings have been, shall we say, less than fantastic, and even though ABC's leading this season's ratings race, TPTB would probably have no qualms about axing its lowest rated series. Harbert stressed that the show is a "strong candidate" for renewal, but his reluctance to give MSCL the support it deserves is not a good sign. It's the kind of thing that makes fans cry, and many of us actually have. Unless viewers like us do something NOW, MSCL may end up little more than a videotaped memory. When "thirtysomething" ended its highly successful, critically acclaimed run in 1991, ABC was eager to keep the show's producers, Ed Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz, from wandering to some other network. The two were signed to produce three pilots for ABC over the next five years. For a new series, Herskovitz and Zwick approached Winnie Holzman about collaborating with them. Holzman, once a prize-winning poet and a New York playwright, had previously worked with the two on "thirtysomething." For the show's last two seasons, she had made her presence felt as a writer, story editor, and a co-executive producer. The three brainstormed on ideas for a new show, and eventually the trio came up with the idea of portraying the teenage experience from a teenager's point of view. They wanted to present something other than what Zwick called "television's fatuous, inaccurate depiction of what teenage life is." Think of it as the anti-90210. Unlike that series, MSCL would have no conveniently packaged all-around happy endings, no self-righteous moralizing about current popular social issues, and no nauseatingly beautiful people running amuck in shiny convertibles. To get a feel for the teenage psyche and lingo, Holzman, credited as the guiding voice of MSCL, went undercover at high schools and wrote make-believe diary entries. Holzman wrote the pilot in addition to some of the following episodes, and is credited as both creator and co-executive producer. The other co-executive producer, Scott Winant, was brought in to direct the pilot episode. Another alumnus of "thirtysomething", Winant had served as that show's sole producer during its four year run. Reviews have noted many similarities between "thirtysomething" and MSCL. Both present believable characters with real problems they often have no clue how to solve. Both center on identity crises at life's major turning points. Perhaps _Newsweek_ best summed up the likeness between the two series: Set in Three Rivers, a fictional suburb somewhere near Pittsburgh, PA, "My So-Called Life" (a.k.a. MSCL) centers on Angela Chase, an intelligent, articulate 15-year-old sophomore at Liberty High. The story begins at a crucial turning point in Angela's so-called life -- the onset of adolescence, appropriately accompanied by the angst-ridden search for identity and the requisite teenage rebellion against family, old friends, and benign authority figures. All signalled by Angela's going from blonde to crimson glow. The series also focuses on Angela's parents, Patty and Graham Chase, two 40-year-old baby-boomers who are experiencing their own growing pains not unlike Angela's. Patty is horrified to hear herself saying the kinds of things her own mother said to her -- the sort of thing she never imagined herself saying. Graham finds himself experiencing his own identity crisis. With half his life behind him, he realizes he's stuck in a job he hates but feels obligated to do. While the two face their individual problems, they also struggle to keep their marriage from falling into the rut of boredom after so many years together. Meanwhile, with all of this taking place under the Chases' roof, Danielle Chase, Angela's oft-forgotten 10-year-old sister, faces a challenge of her own. With everyone's attentions turned to her older sister, Danielle, a pre-teen with seemingly boundless energy, is constantly trying to be noticed. She often resorts to gymnastics just to avoid being mistaken for a hat rack. Viewers get to peek into the adolescent mentality by eavesdropping on the protagonist's thoughts. Usually voiced over by series star Claire Danes, these range from the esoteric ("School is a battlefield for your heart") to the confessional ("I cannot bring myself to eat a well-balanced meal in front of my mother") to the refreshingly mundane ("Okay. So I have a zit"). At school, Angela is flanked by friends and classmates who round out the show's impressive cast: childhood friends Sharon Cherski and Brian Krakow, once close to Angela but left out in her new life; the fun-loving duo of Rayanne Graff and Rickie Vasquez, more in search of a good party than a good education; and resident enigma Jordan Catalano, the slow-blinking, great-leaning loner who is the object of Angela's intense but (perhaps) unrequited infatuation. This is an attempt to give as much info as possible about the characters in as little space as possible. It's meant to give the non-viewer a feel for these characters, but will probably be old news to regular viewers. Be forewarned: any extraneous stuff I considered interesting is included. 15-year-old adolescent in search of her True Identity. Used to be close with her parents, esp. with her father Graham. Former best friend to Sharon, who has known her all her life and was a fellow Girl Scout. Currently hangs with Rickie and Rayanne, occasionally Jordan. Prone to daydreaming about Jordan. Kissed 4 times in her life. Hates fondue, worships Anne Frank. Writes poems about greenery for English class. Likes Porno for Pyros, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage Against the Machine, Stone Temple Pilots, Billie Holliday, R.E.M., Crowded House, The Frozen Embryos, and _The Bicycle Thief_. Often referred to as "the girl with the red hair." Was seeing Jordan for a while, but broke up over, er, philosophical differences. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. PATRICIA (PATTY) WOOD CHASE Mother of Angela and Danielle, wife and former employer of Graham, daughter of Vivian, and best friend of Camille. A baby-boomer in search of her True Identity. Adopted by Vivian and Chuck Wood. Once tried to find her natural parents. Went to high school with Camille and Graham, never met him there. Queen of her class, a popular pretty girl who hung out with all the right people. The prom was postponed when she had her appendix out, according to Graham. Had a roommate in college who died of a drug overdose. Currently runs Wood and Jones printing, which she took over after Chuck took ill. GRAHAM CHASE 40-year-old Baby Boomer in search of his Place in Life. Father of Danielle and Angela, husband and former employee of Patty, older brother of Neil. His mother's dead. A Deadhead, aspiring chef, near-adultere, wallpaper expert, and constantly-befuddled "In-touch-with-his-emotions" Dad. Was tight with Angela before her breasts came between them. Still outdistanced by his wife's intelligence. Fired from Wood and Jones Printing for his own good. Was unemployed or semi-retired for a while; currently teaches intermediate cooking classes for continuing education. DANIELLE CHASE Perpetually unnoticed 10-year-old Chase daughter. A Girl Scout in search of someone to buy her cookies. Once had a crush on Brian. Does a great impression of Angela. Excels in gymnastics and talking without people hearing. May actually have a love life at school, with some kid named Ryan. Currently a student in a school somewhere. SHARON CHERSKI Perpetually perky wearer of pink. The school good girl. Daughter of Camille and Andy, ex-girlfriend of Kyle, and former best friend of Angela. Has known Angela all her life, surviving Girl Scouts and a tonsillectomy together. Oboe player, yearbook staffer, World Happiness Dance organizer, Teen Hotline volunteer. Voted Best Hooters in the sophomore class. "Miss Perfect," she even flosses after meals. Made up with Angela after Andy's heart attack. Friends with Rayanne, though neither will admit it. Likes Buffalo Tom. Lost her virginity to Kyle. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. RAYANNE MARIE GRAFF Daughter of Amber, best friend of Angela and Rickie. Her father split when she was very young. Can't take care of herself but watches out for Rickie and Angela. Shows up for classes she's not in. Voted Most Slut Potential in the sophomore class. Weakness for scumbags, security guards, and guys who generally make us cringe. Afraid of the dark. Takes to liquor like me to Skittles, but won't remember a thing the next day. Had her stomach pumped after near OD; lived clean and sober for more than 33 days, then fell off the wagon after disastrous attempt at singing lead vocals for Frozen Embryos/Between Names. Likes Sesame Street and the Grateful Dead. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High until someone starts taking attendance. BRIAN KRAKOW Resident school genius. Surprisingly perceptive, but a complete dufus in all-important extracurricular matters of the heart. Jewish. Behavioral psychologist mother (Berniece) and Freudian psychiatrist father (Bob). Older sister is married and lives in Denver. Yearbook photographer, school band's flute and sax player. Social outcast, and not-so-secret admirer of neighbor and longtime acquaintance Angela. Left-handed. Only person who seems to do the assignments. Bonded with fellow outcast Rickie, spent a night (so to speak) with Rayanne, and blew a good thing with Delia. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High taking calculus and a triple minor. ENRIQUE (RICKIE) VASQUEZ Resident bisexual romantic. Best friend of Angela and Rayanne, good friend of Brian. Once had a crush on Jordan, and was interested in Cory. Half Hispanic and half Black. Tries to protect Rayanne from self-destructing. So sensitive it hurts (and so do we). Knows a lot about sewing. Lives with an abusive uncle he considers his father. Has a tendency to get beaten up but won't talk about it. A devout Catholic and a great dancer. Loses his voice when really nervous. A southpaw. Recently joined the drama club. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. JORDAN CATALANO Resident enigmatic loner. Left back two years, probably due to his difficulty reading. Part Italian. Interested in Angela. Ditches virtually every class but PE and shop, and now English. Sings, plays guitar, and writes songs for The Frozen Embryos. Really loves his car. Can get you a fake ID. Smokes, leans, and blinks with the best of them. Used to get a beating from his father before he fought back and threw a chair at him. Currently a junior at Liberty High. CAMILLE CHERSKI Mother of Sharon, wife of Andy, best friend of Patty. Has known Patty forever. Close to Sharon, even did that Mother-Daughter fashion show thing together. AMBER VALLONE Free-spirited appetizer-loving ex-hippie mother of Rayanne. Reads Tarot cards and didn't lose any sleep over Rayanne's "casual" drinking and drugging before the near-OD. A Deadhead and one-time wharf rat. May have given up a baby in a past life. Once served a BLT to Bob Dylan. Currently working as an X-ray technician and dating Rusty, a Vietnam vet. KYLE VINNOVICH Football jock and ex-boyfriend of Sharon. Dates girls for their smiles, not their hooters. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. CHUCK WOOD Father of Patty, husband of Vivian. Quit Wood and Jones Printing when he had a stroke in 1992. Ran the business for 30 years. Currently "retired" and dodging the IRS. VIVIAN WOOD Mother of Patty, a.k.a. "The Empress". Likes oregano. HALLIE LOWENTHAL Student in Graham's cooking class. Completely uninhibited and free- speaking. Engaged to rich guy Brad, who suggested she take classes because she can't cook worth a damn. Currently sells advertising time, but interested in starting a restaurant with Graham as chef. THE CHASE FAMILY CAT Of the variety felis invisibilus, the cat has been mentioned but never actually seen. TINO _The_ Guy to Know at Liberty High. May or may not be a student. Throws big parties. Friend of Jordan. Has yet to be seen in an episode, though his presence is always felt. Recently quit post as lead singer of The Frozen Embryos. ** The Liberty High Teachers ** MR. RICHARD KATIMSKI The new English teacher (Rickie and Rayanne's period and moderator of the Drama club. Master of...strange pauses mid-sentence. MS. CATHY KRZYZANOWSKI Rayanne's drug counselor. Also, teacher of some class none of the main characters are in. Substituted for English class (Angela, Jordan, and Brian's period) in "Father Figures" [1.4]. MS. RENEE LERNER Angela's geometry teacher, who subbed for English until Mr. Katimski was hired. Dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi for Halloween (though nobody got the joke). Was interested in Mr. Katimski. (Was "Mrs. Lerner" until 1.9 when she was listed as "Ms. Lerner.") MR. FOSTER Principal of Liberty High. Not a man to be trifled with. MR. DEMITRI Social studies teacher. Teaches U.S. History. According to Angela, he's incredibly boring. MS. MARIAN CHAVATAL The biology teacher. She's the one in the lab coat. MR. RINALDI Spanish teacher who substituted for English class in "The Zit" [1.5]. Read Kafka's _The Metamorphosis_ to the class. MS. MAYHEW The English teacher and yearbook moderator seen only in the pilot. She quits her job sometime after that, and the havoc this causes is seen in later episodes. THE SO-CALLED EPISODES This is my meager attempt at providing a short episode guide for reference. Guest star appearances have been omitted for the sake of space-saving. I'd recommend trying Dave Chapman's far superior episode guide (see the fans section later on). But in the meantime... Except where noted, MSCL airs on ABC Thursdays at 8 p.m. PST/EST and at 7 p.m. CDT. Episode Air Date Title Writer Director Note ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.1 08-25-94 My So-Called Life (Pilot) WH SW 1.2 09-01-94 Dancing in the Dark WH SW 1.3 09-08-94 Guns and Gossip JT MH *1 1.4 09-15-94 Father Figures WH MR 1.5 09-22-94 The Zit BT VD *2 1.6 09-29-94 The Substitute JK ESP 1.7 10-06-94 Why Jordan Can't Read LG MP 1.8 10-20-94 Strangers in the House JG RL *3 1.9 10-27-94 Halloween JG MP *4 1.10 11-04-94 Other People's Daughters RK CW *5 1.11 11-11-94 Life of Brian JK TH *6 1.12 11-18-94 Self-Esteem WH ME 1.13 12-01-94 Pressure EH MP *7 1.14 12-08-94 On the Wagon EG JP 1.15 12-22-94 So-Called Angel WH&JK SW *8 * WRITERS: WH = Winnie Holzman; JT = Justin Tanner; BT = Betsy Thomas; JK = Jason Katims; LG = Liberty Godshall; JG = Jill Gordon; RK = Richard Kramer; EH = Ellen Herman; EG = Elizabeth Gill; * DIRECTORS: SW = Scott Winant; MH = Marshall Herskovitz; MR = Mark Rosner; VD = Victor DuBois; ESP = Ellen S. Pressman; MP = Piznarski; RL = Ron Lagomarsino; CW = Claudia Weill; TH = Todd Holland; ME = Michael Engler; JP = Jeff Perry Notes: 1. In some areas of the country, MSCL was pre-empted due to coverage of an airplane crash in Pittsburgh. The episode was subsequently broadcast on a "special night" -- Tuesday, 10-04-94, at 10 p.m. (normally the spot for "NYPD Blue"). Incidentally, this Tuesday showing earned MSCL its highest ratings to date. 2. This episode is the only one so far that has had end credits deviating from the usual white credits on black. Instead, we get footage of Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie clowning around with Patty's dress. 3. This episode was supposed to air on Oct. 13th, but at the last minute was unexpectedly pre-empted for the 2-hour season premiere of "Matlock." 4. This is the first of the episodes shot months after the first batch. Note Jared's changed hairdo and Danielle's growth spurt. 5. The exec producer end credits are black on white for this one. 6. Only one (so far?) narrated by a character other than Angela. 7. Pre-empted on Thanksgiving Thursday (11-25-94) for a two-hour MacGyver movie called "Trail to Doomsday." 8. Pre-empted on 12-15 for a special tribute to Elvis (thank you, thank you very much). This "special episode" has no opening theme song, no voice-over, and no b&w exec. end-credits. 9. Pre-empted on 12-29 for a special tribute to Lassie, that b- er, lovable mutt we all supposedly grew up with. *** Mini-summaries *** 1.1 Welcome to Angela Chase's so-called life. Angela dyes her hair a shade of "Crimson glow", upsetting the status quo of her seemingly picture-perfect teenage existence. 1.2 Rayanne arranges for Jordan to sell Angela a fake ID, while Patty and Graham stumble through ballroom-dancing lessons meant to re-spice their marriage. 1.3 A gunshot in the hallway and a rumor about Angela and Jordan send ripples through the Liberty High School community. 1.4 Angela gives Graham the "silent contempt" treatment while Patty must deal with her own father when both the Grateful Dead and the IRS come to town. 1.5 In this episode on image and self-image, Angela's zit, Patty's face, Sharon's hooters, and Rayanne's slut potential are all under scrutiny when a sophomoric list on the sophomore girls coincides with the Annual Mother-Daughter Fashion Show. 1.6 An unconventional substitute teacher temporarily turns Angela's English class into a Dead Poets Society and causes a stir when he takes over the school's literary magazine. 1.7 Angela and Jordan get close when she learns of his reading problem, and closer when she hears his new song. Back on the ranch, Patty and Graham cope with possible pregnancy. 1.8 Angela's relationship with Sharon and Graham's job dissatisfaction both hit critical levels when Sharon's father has a heart attack. 1.9 Halloween rolls into Three Rivers, blurring the line between facades and realities. 1.10 Angela is entranced by Rayanne's hip hippie mom, while Patty gets the daughter treatment from her own mother. 1.11 Everyone's love life gets screwed up by the school World Happiness Dance. 1.12 Jordan won't acknowledge his new relationship with Angela, Graham starts his cooking classes, and a new teacher invites Rickie to join the drama club. 1.13 Angela considers sleeping with Jordan, while Graham considers starting his own restaurant. 1.14 Feeling left out of Angela's life, Rayanne becomes lead singer of the Frozen Embryos. Meanwhile, Patty thinks Rayanne has started drinking again, and can't decide if she should meddle with Amber's mothering. 1.15 Christmas in Three Rivers finds Rickie out on the street after a fight with his abusive uncle. Angela, aided by a mysterious homeless girl with an angelic voice and a guitar, tries to help him, putting her at odds with Patty. Meanwhile, Brian faces Christmas alone, and Sharon and Rayanne (wo)man the phones at a teen hotline. THE SO-CALLED PLAYERS The MSCL regulars are: BESS ARMSTRONG Patty Chase WILSON CRUZ Rickie Vasquez CLAIRE DANES Angela Chase DEVON GUMMERSALL Brian Krakow A.J. LANGER Rayanne Graff JARED LETO Jordan Catalano DEVON ODESSA Sharon Cherski LISA WILHOIT Danielle Chase and TOM IRWIN Graham Chase Noteworthy actors, their roles, and Season 1 appearances include: AMBER VALLONE Patti D'Arbanville-Quinn [3,10,14] MARY KAY PLACE Camille Cherski [2,5,8] PAUL DOOLEY Chuck Wood [4,12] BARBARA BAIN Vivian Wood [10] DANTON STONE Neil Chase [2] LISA WALTZ Hallie Lowenthal [13,14] JOHNNY GREEN Kyle Vinnovich [5,7,11] SHANNON LETO Shane [7,12] BENNET GUILLORY Principal Foster [3,6] WINNIE HOLZMAN Ms. Krzyzanowski [4,13,14] MARGARET NAGEL Ms. Chavatal [1,2,12] MAY QUIGLEY Ms. Lerner [8,9,12,13] JEFF PERRY Mr. Katimski [12,13] STANLEY DESANTIS Mr. Demitri [1,6] NANA DESPOTOVICH Ms. Mayhew [1] DEL ZAMORA Mr. Renaldi [5] (Adapted from information available on America Online, and from a press kit provided by ABC Productions.) CLAIRE DANES - Youngest of two children, born in New York to her painter/teacher mother and computer consultant father. Started studying modern dance at age six, and still studies it; at nine took acting class at Lee Strasberg Studio; attended Professional Performing Arts School in New York. Likes gymnastics, humanities, science, and more recently, surfing (she's currently hanging in L.A., dude). * Credits: Stage appearances in "Happiness," "Punk Ballet," "Kids on Stage." TV appearances as a guest star in "Law and Order," "No Room For Opal," and a key role in cable film "The Coming Out of Heidi Leiter." Film appearances in _Dreams of Love_, _Thirty_ (short film), The Pesky Suitor_ (film festival short), and Little Women (major studio film!). * Birthday: April 12, 1979. BESS ARMSTRONG - A popular film and TV actress. Married (to film producer John Fiedler) with children (two sons, ages 6 and 2-1/2). Born in Baltimore Maryland, middle of five children; parents were both teachers. Attended Bryn Mawr School for Girls for 14 years; graduated from Brown University with a double degree in theater arts and the classics. * Credits: Stage appearances include Jules Feiffer's "Knock, Knock." TV appearances include series "On Our Own," "All is Forgiven," and "Married People," the miniseries "Lace," and the recent telefilm "Take Me Home Again" with Kirk Douglas. Film appearances include _The Four Seasons_, _Nothing in Common_, _The High Road to China_, _Jaws 3-D_, and _Dream Lover_. * Birthday: Dec. 11 TOM IRWIN - A native Illinoisan, born in Peoria. Attended Illinois State University. Joined Chicago's famed Steppenwolf Theatre Company. Continues to act in and direct plays for the company. Lives in Chicago and L.A., with two cats, Michael Jordan and Frances Glass. Avid basketball fan of the Chicago Bulls and the less successful Los Angeles Clippers. * Credits: Stage appearances (there are lots) include Steppenwolf productions of "The Grapes of Wrath" as the narrator/ragman, "Love Letters" with Laurie Metcalf, "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "Frank's Wild Years," and "My Thing of Love." TV appearances include the starring role in ABC's critically acclaimed but short-lived series "My Life and Times." Telefilms include "In the Best Interest of the Child," "To My Daughter," and a recent one with Jennie Garth [what was its name?]. Film appearances include _Mr. Jones_, _Deceived_, _Midnight Run_, _Light of Day_, and _Men Don't Leave_. * Birthday: June 1 JARED LETO - Born in Bossier City, LA. First job at 12 as a dishwasher; at sixteen he became a doorman. Enrolled at University of the Arts in Philadelphia to study painting; transferred to the School of Visual Arts in New York to study filmmaking; in March 1992 moved to L.A. to pursue acting. * Credits: TV appearances include guest spots on "The Torkelsons" and "Camp Wilder." Also, a starring role in Showtime's "The Cool and the Crazy" directed by Ralph Bakshi. Also directed and starred in a film entitled _Crying Joy_ while in film school. *Birthday: Dec. 26, 197? A.J. LANGER - A native Ohioan who moved to L.A. at five. A.J. stands for Allison Joy; the nickname comes from being the only girl in little league. An algebra teacher suggested acting after A.J. was elected student-body president in 9th grade. Likes reading the sports section, hiking, camping and fishing. Also creates one-of-a-kind necklaces, picture frames, and decorative pieces as gifts. Lives in the San Fernando Valley of CA. * Credits: TV appearances include the Fox series "Drexell's Class" and noteworthy guest starring roles on "The Wonder Years," "In the Heat of the Night," "Blossom," "Baywatch," "Parker Lewis Can't Lose," and even "90210." Film appearances include a starring role in Wes Craven's _The People Under the Stairs_ and in _You Thought Your Parents Were Weird_. * Birthday: May 22, 1972 WILSON CRUZ - New Yorker who moved to San Bernadino, CA with his Puerto Rican family when he was 10. Eldest of three brothers. Sang and toured with Young Americans. Featured in shows at Disneyland, Disney World, and Sea World/Orlando. Graduated from Eisenhower High School and pursued a double major in English and theater before joining MSCL. Plays saxophone and collects vintage photos of actors. Openly homosexual and proud of it. * Credits: Stage appearances include "Cradle of Fire," "Supporting Cast," and a number of Shakespearean productions. TV appearances include a recurring role in the Fox series "Great Scott!" * Birthday: Dec. 27, 1973 DEVON ODESSA - A native West Virginian brought up on a farm. Moved to New Orleans, then to Los Angeles. Graduated from Notre Dame High School (Sherman Oaks, CA). Likes dancing, horseback riding, tennis, rollerblading, and cooking. Has three dogs and two cats. Splits her time between her home in Parkersburg WV, and the San Fernando Valley of CA. * Credits: Stage appearances include "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "The Hobbit." TV appearances include a recurring role as Dana on "Angel Falls." Guest starring roles include "The Wonder Years," "Full House," "Step By Step," and "The Facts of Life." Also, the telefilms "Girl of the Limberlost" and the Herskovitz-Zwick production "Extreme Close-Up." Film debut in _Pumpkinhead_. * Birthday: Jan. 18, 1974 DEVON GUMMERSALL - Born in Colorado, middle son of three boys. Father is artist C. Gregory Gummersall. Moved to Los Angeles area. Did commercials at 10. Currently a 10th grader. Likes poetry, literature, J.D. Salinger, and sports. Has a German shepherd named Nick and a cat named Feisty. * Credits: TV appearances include guest starring roles in "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman," "Step By Step," "Dream On," and "Blossom." Film appearances in _My Girl II_ and _Beethoven's 2nd_. * Birthday: Oct. 15, 1978 LISA WILHOIT - Native Los Angelena. Third generation of a show-biz family. Grandfather scored TV music, father is a sound effects editor, and her cousins are the twin boys on "Full House." At five, trained in gymnastics; at ten, did stunt work on "Hook." An honors student and Girl Scout. Takes dance classes, and likes bowling, ice skating, Thai food, and UB40. Owns collections of frogs, music boxes, seashells, nutcrackers. Lives in San Fernando Valley with three cats, a bird, and lotsa frogs. * Credits: TV appearance in "Talking with T.J." Film debut as Baby Tinkerbell in _Hook_. Voice-overs in films such as _When a Man Loves a Woman_, _Fearless_, _Home Alone 2_, and _Searching for Bobby Fisher_. * Birthday: July 30, 198? WINNIE HOLZMAN - Born in New York City, raised in Long Island. Graduated from Princeton University with a major in English and a concentration in creative writing. Won many poetry awards, including the Academy of American Poets Prize. Studied acting at The Circle in The Square Theatre School; joined the N.Y.U. Musical Theatre Program. Joined the "thirty- something" writing staff in 1989, writing 9 episodes during her 2 seasons. Married to actor Paul Dooley (Chuck Wood!); they have an 8-year-old daughter named Savannah, and live in the San Fernando Valley. * Credits: Stage writing credits include "Serious Bizness," and "Birds of Paradise." TV credits as story editor and writer for "thirtysomething." Guest-role as Ms. Krzyzanowski in that show "My So-Called Life." THE SO-CALLED MUSIC The songs featured in MSCL are more like supporting characters than just background fillers. The lyrics often fit the moment perfectly, and the music usually complements the atmosphere of the scene. Atlantic/Mammoth Records announced it would put out a soundtrack album of music from and/or inspired by MSCL. Artists on the "alternative"-flavored album include Juliana Hatfield, Buffalo Tom, Archers of Loaf, Afghan Whigs, Frente!, Further, Daniel Johnston, the Lemonheads, Madder Rose, and Sonic Youth. The release date is some time in late January. These are songs that have been used in MSCL. Where possible, the scenes you can hear the songs in have been indicated, along with the episode number. This has been compiled with much help from the MSCL list and MSCL Music Guru Misty Jones. 1.1 Some song by Animalbag [band at Tino's party] 1.1 "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls [on the TV Jordan watches] 1.1 "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. [Angela returns from the rave] 1.2 "Cruel Swing" by Jawbox [in Jordan's car] 1.3 "Dreams" by the Cranberries [in Angela's room when Patty comes in] 1.4 "Althea" by the Grateful Dead [Graham repairs the roof] 1.4 "Palomine" by Bettie Serveert [In Ang's bedroom] 1.5 "Return to Innocence" by Enigma [the fashion show] 1.6 "What About Your Friends?" by TLC [just before Vic shows up] 1.7 "Red" by W.G. Snuffy Walden/Winnie Holzman [Jordan's song] 1.7 "Sodajerk" by Buffalo Tom [Sharon and Kyle in the hall] 1.9 "Johnny Angel" by Shelley Fabares (?) [in the gym] 1.9 "Blue Moon" by Elvis Presley [with Nicky, and hummed by Rickie] 1.10 "Fall Down" by Toad the Wet Sprocket [parking lot scene] 1.10 "Spin the Bottle" by Juliana Hatfield Trio [before the party] 1.10 "Down About It" by the Lemonheads [at the party] 1.10 "Dame With a Rod" by Juliana Hatfield Trio [at the party] 1.11 "South Carolina" by Archers of Loaf [Jordan's car radio] 1.11 "Dawn Can't Decide" by the Lemonheads [first song heard at dance?] 1.11 "Dropout" by Urge Overkill [at the dance] 1.11 "Pressure" by Sunscreem [at the dance] 1.11 "What is Love?" by Haddaway [Rickie and Delia's dance] 1.11 "Try" by Billy Pilgrim [last song at the dance] 1.12 "Soda Jerk" by Buffalo Tom [performed live] 1.12 "Late at Night" by Buffalo Tom [performed live and closing scene] 1.12 "Fountain and Fairfax" by Afghan Wigs [Vertigo Club] 1.14 "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones [song the Frozen Embryos play] 1.14 "Sesame Street Theme Song" [sung by Rayanne] 1.15 "Make It Home" by Juliana Hatfield [sung by J.H. as the angel Joy] 1.15 "I Feel Like Going Home" by ? [sung by the Inner Voices church] 1.17 "Blister in the Sun" - Violent Femmes (Ang's bedroom freedom dance) 1.17 "Genetic" - Sonic Youth (Rayanne and Jordan at "Louie's")* 1.18 "The Book Song" - Frente! (in Ang's bedroom)* 1.18 "I Alone" - Live (in Patty and Graham's bedroom) The MSCL soundtrack "Music from the TV Series 'My So-Called Life'" is set to be released on 1/24/95 (mark those calendars) by Atlantic/Mammoth Records. The song list, as leaked onto the AOL boards and into the MSCL list by Peter, is: "Make it Home" -- Juliana Hatfield "Soda Jerk" -- Buffalo Tom "Genetic" -- Sonic Youth "Petty Core" -- Further "Drop A Bomb" -- Madder Rose "Fountain and Fairfax" -- Afghan Wigs "South Carolina" -- Archers of Loaf "Dawn Can't Decide" -- The Lemonheads "The Book Song" -- Frente "Come See Me Tonight" -- Daniel Johnston "My So-Called Life" theme song -- W.G. Snuffy Walden Miscellaneous questions and answers. What possible "in-jokes" have the MSCL crew used on the show? The two names frequently listed as assistants to the co-exec producers are Jenifer Catalano and Diane Driscoll. Two characters have shared last names with them: Jordan Catalano and Nicky Driscoll (dead kid from "Halloween"). Similarly, Mr. Katimski's name could be a play on story editor Jason Katims' name. One of the recurring "in-jokes" can be found in most of the Bathroom Scenes. If you look closely at the graffiti, you might see among the various scrawl, "A.J. + Chris" in any of various forms, including "A.J.L. + C.F.S." [1.3] which leaves little doubt that this is some reference to A.J. and some real-life honey of hers. (See episodes 3, 5, 6, 8, and 10.) In "The Zit", Brooke Kennedy is listed on the Sophomore hot sheet as having the best laugh. Brooke Kennedy is one of the show's producers. Nepotism or coincidence? In "Strangers in the House" the doctor is played by Bruce Winant, who may or may not be related to co-executive producer Scott Winant. Also, the sergeant in "So-Called Angels" was played by Bob Katims, possibly a relation to story editor and episode co-writer Jason Katims? And of course, Chuck is played by character actor Paul Dooley, who is married to creator Winnie Holzman; Shane Leto is probably related to Jared. In "Self-Esteem", look carefully at the names on the Drama Club signup sheet when Enrique signs it. Two of the names above his are Nancy Jacobs (first assistant director) and Diane Kelly (Diane Durant-Kelley is the script supervisor). [Who are Ron Ripplemeyer and June Rogers?!] Who would make a good Tino? This was a recent discussion on the MSCL list. Names bandied about as possible Tinos included: Gary Oldman, Henry Rollins, the late great River Phoenix, ... What literary references have been used? The following works have been referred to, quoted, or featured: The Diary of Anne Frank (Anne Frank) The Autobiography of Malcolm X (Malcolm X) The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka) Sonnet 130 (William Shakespeare) Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck) As You Like It (William Shakspeare) Cat's Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut) . What's all this talk about cats, basements, and sweaters? At least two episodes have made reference to a Chase family cat... but we have yet to see said feline. Dennis suggested the cat is off somewhere hanging with Tino and Brian's parents. In "The Substitute," Patty and Graham wonder if Angela could have possibly written the (in)famous "Haiku For Him" poem. Patty dismisses the idea, saying, "We don't even _have_ a basement." Fast forward to "Life of Brian," and the opening scenes in the Chase home, where Graham goes searching for wallpaper. Says Patty, "I can't do braids in a basement." There appears to be a glitch in the editing of "Self-Esteem"; watch Angela's clothes carefully in the scene after Jordan tells her to keep their meetings a secret. She goes from wearing one sweater to another top. Peculiar. Response to the pilot and subsequent episodes of MSCL has generally been enthusiastic -- perhaps not evident in the ratings, but apparent in the rec.arts.tv discussions of the show and the loyalty of its supporters. To this end, not one, but _two_ mailing lists can be found for discussion of MSCL: The thirtysomething mailing list. Maintained by: Janet Cook Sakell (jcs@holmes.acc.virginia.edu) Originally created for discussion of Zwick & Herskovitz's last project, the critically acclaimed "thirtysomething." Send a message to <30something-request@virginia.edu> with the command "subscribe" in the subject line to be added to this list. The My So-Called Life mailing list. Maintained by: Virany M. Kreng (vmkreng@uci.edu) Created for discussing (what else?) MSCL in all aspects, from underlying themes to featured songs to characters' bad hair days. Send a nice message to the human at to be added to this list. Yet another indication of fan fervor over the show is the existence of not one, but again, _two_ episode guides detailing episodes of MSCL's fledgling season so far. An MSCL episode guide, complete with summaries of episodes you might have missed, is available throught the World Wide Web. (Read on.) The summaries are written by Dennis and Kevin; commentaries and interpretations by others are also included for your reading enjoyment. In an effort to spread the word about MSCL, one of the best shows on television which nonetheless faces extinction in the race for ratings, Kory Lasker, an industrious young lad with a big heart and disk space to match, has set up a homepage for MSCL. The site is constantly being updated, so it has all the cool MSCL-related audio files, text files, and pictures. The page can be accessed on the World Wide Web via Mosaic, Netlynx, or similar Web programs, at: Useful info such as ratings, articles, cast biographies, and assorted fun stuff are located here. An organization called OPERATION LIFE SUPPORT was recently created by fans Steve Joyner and Robyn Landis. As the name implies, this is a group dedicated to getting the attention of ABC and proving to them that MSCL _does_ have viewers. Information about OLS can be obtained by writing to (SAVEMSCL@aol.com). The following information has been culled from posts by subscribers to the My So-Called Life mailing list. These are the various ways they have found for you (yes, YOU) to get in touch with ABC and let them know that they have to renew MSCL, period. By snail mail: Edward Harbert, c/o ABC 2040 Avenue of the Stars Century City, CA 90067 ABC Productions 2020 Avenue of the Stars, 5th Floor Century City, CA 90067 By e-mail: Send a message to By phone: ABC productions... (310) 557-6860 ABC - Los Angeles... (310) 557-7777 ABC - New York... (212) 456-7777 By fax: ABC... (310) 557-7170 MSCL... (310) 479-2504 ABC Productions... (310) 557-6147 THE SO-CALLED ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would have to shoot myself in the foot if I forgot to mention the following... This text would not be possible without the input and suggestions of the subscribers to the Internet MSCL mailing list. These people are everyday saints who put up with mail delay, error messages, and incredibly huge traffic in their mailboxes, all in the blessed name of MSCL. I owe them all my gratitude in this life and two or three of my next ones. Ron Henry, for ratings information, episode titles, production information, and general support. Kory Lasker (lask0008@gold.tc.umn.edu), for his considerable time and effort in creating an amazingly cool Homepage for the show. Dennis Nedblake (dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu), for quick episode summaries and his unmistakeable general presence on the list. Kevin Chen (kchen@cc.gatech.edu), for episode summaries and general support when it was greatly needed! Heidi Paulsen (paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu), for the intelligent interpretative posts and inside info on MSCL. Steve Joyner (river@skate.com) for organizing Operation Life Support, and giving MSCL a fighting chance. Dan Wood (danwood@netcom.com), for invaluable help putting this damned thing together. Misty Jones (Misty_Jones@baylor.edu), for compiling music information, especially since I hadn't even heard of some of these groups! Peter Dangerfield (PDDanger@aol.com), for the soundtrack info. And for various reasons (not just because I think they're neat): Byron C. Go, Dan Dixon, Randy Wong, Caroline Webb, Ellen "QueenMab9", Rob Ditto, Paul Rickter, Ben Schoenberg, Rob Ditto, David Feldman, Nicole Bell, KoriG, and Jesse Mullan. (I know I'm missing names here, not because I've forgotten, but because it's 4 in the morning and I'm out of cappuccino, damn it!) If I've forgotten your name, please e-mail me and flame me for forgetting to mention you. Maybe I've worked in this Alzheimer's lab too long. Finally: Marshall Herskovitz, Edward Zwick, Scott Winant, the various writers and directors, and the actors of MSCL who are responsible for making such a great show that we _can_ discuss like this. ... and of course, Winnie Holzman, for creating this underrated excellent little show and never failing to surprise us with its endless originality. ABC may not appreciate what they've got, but thank gawd we do! The views and opinions expressed in this page are strictly those of the page author. The contents of this page have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Minnesota. My So-Called Life:E1 My So-Called Life Episode Guide My So-Called Life (the pilot) School is a battlefield...for your heart. Either sex or a conversation. Ideally both. Okay. No theme song, straight into the action with credits running below. We see Angela and Sharon in the hallway, with Sharon talking typical sort of girltalk while Angela's only half-listening. Angela's got the brown hair, of course, and isn't wearing any makeup (or at least that I can tell). The two walk up the hallway while Angela gives her running commentary. How it's not fair that girls aren't supposed to notice guys noticing them. We see Brian being harrassed. We see the cheerleaders from the later episodes' opening credits (Angela wonders, can't people just cheer on their own? To themselves?). With Sharon still talking, Angela stops at a window and looks out. She sees Rayanne and Rickie running off, away from school. Sharon asks who Angela's looking at, and Angela says it's nobody. Cut to Angela's Bathroom. We get the famous quote about school being a battlefield. Flanked by Rickie and Rayanne, Angela has just died her hair *gasp* that purty shade of crimson glow. Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie are raiding the kitchen refrigerator when Patty, Angela's mother (for the newbies out there), comes home with groceries. (Patty's hair is long for the pilot.) Patty meets Rickie and Rayanne for the first time, and you can just tell by the look on her face that she is not overly thrilled that these two are in her house. But of course, she grins and bears it. Noticing Angela's new do, Patty takes it pretty calmly. When her mother leaves the kitchen, Angela tells Rinner scene. The Chases are eating a nice dinner of steak and potatoes, with peas on the side. Angela watches the family chew their food and ponders the unbearable weirdness of chewing. Graham, her father, seems to like Angela's hair. Patty, on the other hand, remarks that they'll "always be able to spot you in a crowd" which leads Angela to comment, "Lately, I can't even look at my mother without wanting to stab her repeatedly." After dinner, we see Graham going upstairs. He asks why all the lights are left on, and at that exact moment, Angela steps out of the bathroom with only a towel on. Graham is clearly, er, befuddled. "My dad and I used to be pretty tight. The sad truth is, my breasts have come between us." Graham and Patty's bedroom. Graham, still slightly befuddled, suggests that they buy bigger towels. In bed, Patty is still reacting to Angela's hair change and new friends. Graham tells her, "It could be a lot worse." Patty replies that she knows Angela dyed her hair just to get her to react. Patty: "It's just so hard to look at her. She looks like a stranger." Next day, school hallway. Angela is leaning against the lockers, watching Jordan leaning against the lockers. Apparently she's been in love with Jordan for quite a while. She muses that he's always blinking as if it hurt to look at things -- just before Jordan pulls out some Visine (or some junk). Sharon comes down the hallway and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Angela's new hair. Angela sees Sharon's shock, and neither says a word. Awkward Moment. Rayanne comes along and beckons Angela to join her in The Bathroom. There, Rayanne forces Angela to admit she's obsessed with/interested in Jordan Catala no. Angela doesn't deny it, adding that Jordan Leans Great. Ever the helper, Rayanne suggests they go to Tino's party tonight, because *gasp* Jordan _will_ be there. They actually leave the bathroom. Outside, Sharon pretends to be looking at a bulletin board so she doesn't look like she was waiting for Angela. She tells Angela how surprised she is that Angela changed her hair without even telling her best friend. The two go off to Yearbook. At Yearbook, Angela's sitting next to Sharon, looking incredibly bored. Brian sits in a corner of the room and tries to take a picture of Angela. She quickly ducks into her sweater. Ms. Mayhew, the English teacher, starts counting votes on what the yearbook theme should be. The popular choice seems to be "The Year 2000", but the teacher notices one vote is missing. Angela announces that hers is the missing vote, and that she no longer wants to be on yearbook. Following morning. Angela comes down into the kitchen, where the other Chases are. Sharon's there, too, because she left her Anne Frank book and needs it back. Cut to Angela's Bedroom, which, as Patty proclaims, is a disaster. Danielle, Angela's little sister, is digging through a pile of clothes, trying to help locate the missing text. Sharon mentions Angela's quitting the yearbook, and Patty gets that Disappointed Mother look on her face. Angela doesn't want to talk about it. Danielle finds Sharon's book and returns it. Danielle, Angela, and Sharon leave the bedroom, leaving Patty sorting through the mess. School bell rings. In The Bathroom again. Rayanne tells Rickie that Angela is in love with Jordan Catalano. Rickie loves how Jordan leans, too. School bell rings again, and Angela exits the bathroom to actually go to class. Rickie and Rayanne are in shock. Already late for class, Angela speeds down the empty hallway. We hop from class to class and see that nobody's paying attention at all. Except for Brian Krakow, who seems to answer every question in every class. Finally, in English, Ms. Mayhew asks if somebody other than Brian can answer the question. No takers. Brian answers, and of course is right again. Angela sits, completely bored, watching the fluorescent light above her. She unconsciously calls Anne Frank lucky, and the English teacher asks her how she could say such a thing. Angela tries to think of an answer. Jordan enters the room and takes a seat, a little late for class but there nonetheless. Glancing at Jordan, Angela replies, "'Cause she was stuck in an attic for three years with this guy whe really liked?" The English teacher is flabbergasted. Bad answer. Lunch time. Ms. Mayhew is curious about Angela's altered appearance and her quitting yearbook. Problems at home, perhaps? Angela launches into a mini-speech about uncertainty and identity. The yearbook, she says, isn't a record of the year's events, but what everybody expected to happen. Angela: "Because if you made a book of what really happened, it'd be a really upsetting book." Later that night. Angela is in her bedroom reading her Anne Frank. She moseys on down to the kitchen, where Graham is cleaning dishes. Graham asks Angela to be a little easier on Patty, and Angela promises to try. She then mentions to her father that there's this thing... a rehearsal for a play they're doing for Extra Credit. So, technically it's for school. Can she go to Rayanne's friend's house? Graham smiles. Cut to REALLY loud music. Party at Tino's place, dude! People are dancing about. Beer is being guzzled in large quantities, as Angela witnesses Rayanne down a brewski. In the commotion, Angela gets knocked down and falls into a pool of mud. Embarrassed, she gets up and walks out of the dance area, into a garage or greenhouse or something. Well, some small building nearby. You get the idea. Who should be inside but the Leaning King himself, Jordan Catalano. He's sitting in the dark watching a music video without any sound. He looks up at Angela, and she of course get nervous. She tries to casually exit by going for the door, but it's locked. So she sits down and just watches Jordan as he watches TV. They have their first conversation, in which Jordan wonders why it doesn't feel like Friday, and Angela replies that's because it's Thursday. Oh. Jordan's buds pop in and steal Jordan away to some bigger better party. Back at home... Patty is angry with Graham for letting Graham go, and for generally being the nice one all the time. She believes that Angela loves Graham more. Angela comes through the front door. Patty takes one look at her muddied outfit and has a maternal fit. Angela tries to explain that nothing happened. Danielle wanders in, and is left out of the conversation. Graham suggests they just all go to sleep. Graham and Patty go off to bed, while Danielle stands at the staircase and asks Angela what really happened. Next day, school cafeteria. Embarrassment capital of the world, like in prison movies. We watch as nauseating slop gets dumped onto Angela's tray. Rayanne informs Angela that there's a rave at Let's Bolt tonight, and Jordan is _guaranteed_ to be there. Tino can get them in, of course. As the trio (Rickie's there, too) look for seats, some jerk knocks Brian's tray over. The Bathroom. Angela wonders aloud what lie she should tell Patty. Rayanne leaves just as Sharon is exiting a bathroom stall. Another Awkward Moment. Sharon and Angela are there alone. Both go to wash their hands. Angela asks if there's any soap Sharon doesn't answer. "Hi," Angela says awkwardly. Sharon just looks at her and starts to leave, but stops. She tells Angela that people are saying Angela thinks she's above them all and that Angela worships Rayanne. Sharon says Rayanne is only using her, the way she used Jody Barsh. She starts to cry as she asks Angela what she did so wrong that Angela would dump her best friend. Angela starts to cry, too. She triest to say that they're still friends, but Sharon stops her. Both cry. They have a small moment of smalltalk when Sharon asks how Patty took the hair change. Sharon tells Angela she honestly hates her hair. It just hurts too much, and Sharon begins to cry again. She leaves the bathroom. Angela stands alone in the Bathroom. Family dinner. Patty suggests the Chases all go ice skating together, but everyone has their own plans. Danielle wants to watch a TV movie about phone sex, Graham wants to play pool with his brother Neil, and Angela wants to stay over at Rayanne's. Patty doesn't like Rayanne, and is confused by Rickie. Angela gets up and leaves. Patty stops Angela in the stairwell and finds out Rickie is bisexual, which shocks her. Angela gets ready to leave. Patty says, Fine, Angela can go to Rayanne's and Graham can go to his brother's or wherever it is he's going. Graham reacts silently. Angela leaves. Danielle does a headstand for Graham, who is still perplexed by what just happened. Outside, Angela quickly changes into her tough girl outfit. Brian sees her and tells her she's probably breaking 14 different laws. He tells her she should quit this cool act of hers, because it's stupid. He asks if she's waiting for Jordan Catalano, which surprises Angela. The car pulls up, Angela gets in, and Brian is left behind. Outside the rave. Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie wait for the elusive Tino to show up so they can get in. Rayanne takes a swig of some liquor and offers it to Angela. She tries it, but is disgusted. Time passes. A crowd starts to form, and still no Tino. Angela and Rayanne compare feet and end up trading shoes. Rickie asks his question about what to say after sex, and Angela says YSBIHTLAY. Rayanne laughs and pretends to run off to tell Jordan. She runs right into a scuzzy guy and proceeds to ask if he can get them in. The guy asks if the girls want to go somewhere, Rickie not invited. The scuz beckons Rayanne to come closer so he can ask her a question. She does, and the scuz pulls her close and backs her against his car. He starts to kiss her, while she tries to fight him off. Angela realizes what's happening and pulls Rayanne away. Rayanne throws her bottle of liquor at the guy, which really pisses him off. The scuz threatens Rayanne, but his friend restrains him. Rickie helps Rayanne up, telling Angela that Rayanne won't remember a thing tomorrow. She blacks out when she gets drunk. The fuzz (i.e. the cops) show up and Rickie splits. The cop scares the scuzball away and takes Angela and Rayanne into his patrol car. As they're getting in, Rayanne spots Jordan. Jordan is far from where they are, but he sees Angela, too. He tells his friends he knows that girl, and as Angela gets in the squad car, Jordan calls her name. The policeman takes Rayanne home first. Parked outside Rayanne's place, Angela notices that there's no one home, and we see a house with no lights on inside. The cop helps Rayanne walk up the steps. Near Angela's house, the cop lets her out of the car. She begs him not to walk her to the door. The cop spots Brian, who is sitting in a tree, r-e-a-d- i-n-g a book. He tells Brian to act like Angela's friend and watch out for her. The cop leaves, and Brian asks what happened. Angela: "These guys started hitting on us." Brian: "What, like, sexual harrassment?" Angela: "Like guys." As she and Brian round the corner, she sees Graham talking with a 20-ish girl in a tight dress, who really doesn't look like Graham's brother at all. The sweet sounds of R.E.M.'s "Everybody Hurts" begin to play in the background. Angela takes this in and turns around, walking so quickly that she slips and falls. Brian rushes to help her up, and she explains that these aren't her shoes. We see the beautiful shot of Angela and Brian on opposite sides of the screen, separated by the street they share. Brian tells Angela the new yearbook theme is "The Year 2000". Angela says that's pathetic, and goes home. Angela slips into the house. She takes off Rayanne's shoes and slowly tippy-toes up the stairs, into her messy room. She drops her flannel to the floor and sits in front of the mirror, where she wipes off her lipstick. Time lapses, and we see her sitting on her bed in her PJ's. She appears to be thinking quietly to herself. She get up and goes to her parents' room. Standing at the threshold, she peers in and sees her mother, sitting alone in bed and apparently balancing the family checkbook. She asks what happened to Angela's staying overnight at Rayanne's. In a voiceover, Angela tells us that Patty's adopted, and for a while looked for her natural parents. Which is maybe what we all do. On the TV next to the bed, the scene in _It's a Wonderful Life_ where Zuzu gives George the petals is playing. Angela says she's sorry about the hair and everything, and starts to cry. She falls onto the bed and Patty hugs her. Patty tells her that her hair actually doesn't look that bad, in her humble opinion. Angela falls asleep in her mother's arms. School again, Monday morning. In the hallway, Angela runs across Jordan for conversation #2. He asks if she's out on bail. She asks how his weekend was. Jordan leans against the wall, blinks, and says it sucked. Then he leaves. Rayanne and Rickie (and some unidentifiable extra) show up. Rayanne is under the impression that they had a really great time at the rave, and these two guys tried to pick them up there. Angela looks at Rickie and agrees, saying, "We did. We had a time." The screen holds the image of Angela smiling, then fades to the exec producer credits. MSCL: E2 My So-Called Life Episode Guide Dancing in the Dark just me catching up again... i'm all the way to - what? episode two? great. here's the Dogbert Plot Summary (tm) of Episode 2 "Introductory Kisses", also known as "Dancing in the Dark" (both are cool titles) for any list newbies, i am the official MSCL Mailing List Summary Person (although i seem to be redundant for the moment, since people have been taking down the whole scripts - you people need to get hobbies - like, really, really badly =) =) )... now that we're in the off-season i'm supposed to have been posting summaries every thursday night of episodes from before the creation of the mailing list, but my personal life has been wierd in the extreme recently, so i haven't had time. but i am left with a thursday and nothing to do, so here we go... opening credits the camera pans past the galactic plane into angela's science class. she sits at the back, thinking about her previous kissing experiences: a counsellor at a YMCA camp (kiss 1), the usher at her mother's cousin's wedding (kiss 2, as she continues thinking in the hallway after class), and as she leans against her locker, a guy she met on the beach last summer (kiss 3), but it may not count since she was sort of unconscious at the time. rickie and rayanne trash someone as angela arrives. suddenly, angela's voice goes up an octave as jordan passes by. rayanne suggests that she needs to take the jordan thing to the next level. angela wonders if there's a term for her condition. in biology, the teacher confuses vivisection and dissection, trying to get the class to answer questions. angela is partners with brian. back at the chase home, patty leaves, wondering why graham doesn't kiss her goodbye in the morning anymore. graham doesn't see the need, but ends up kissing her goodbye anyway. brian hacks angela's heart in half. she makes a face. rayanne pounds on the fruit machine, hoping to get a free orange or something. jordan wanders by and she consults him about getting angela a fake id. jordan notes that tino could do it just as easily, but rayanne tells him that she feels like she's wearing tino thin. she then comes up with various unlikely reasons why angela can't talk to him about it herself ("she's, uh... french! she's from france!"). jordan is sort of skeptical (who could blame him?) angela sneaks out of class while the miss cheval (or whatever her name is) is checking off people for extra credit reports - brian lies to cover for her, much to sharon's obvious disgust. sharon bitches brian out for letting angela take advantage of him. she is so cool. angela is somewhat embarrased that rayanne has set her up. rayanne and rickie finally end up mocking her to make her quit being morbid. brian approaches angela about helping him with his volumeter. rayanne has the brilliant idea of having jordan come over to brian's house. while they're supposed to be working on it. angela's reaction: "are you crazy? were you raised in a satanic cult?" but she ends up agreeing to the plan. angela and rayanne and rickie discuss 'the plan'. as they depart upstairs with snacks, patty and camille enter through the front door, discussing angela and sharon's relationship. brian tells sharon how "obviously wrong" she was about the whole him/angela grade credit situation. camille and patty discuss the time they stopped speaking. patty wonders if she should cut her hair short. rayanne and rickie pester angela about jordan, telling her that it is *definitely* a good thing. patty and camille discuss romance, sneaking in a reference to "dr. quinn - medicine woman". camille suggests ballroom dancing. graham is unsure about it "camille thinks *velcro* is fun" graham's brother neil thinks that she's right. "velcro *is* pretty amazing." "Neil, pass the pasta," danielle says, not especially politely. "What's the magic word?" "Pasta." "No, that's the magic carbohydrate. What's the magic word?" "Neil..." Angela and Neil tease patty about the ballroom dancing thing. Patty wonders aloud if she should cut her hair short, seguewaying into a minor discussion of hillary clinton. Neil and graham, outside, discuss their realationships with their significant other(tm)s (and yes, for you continuity fans, neil is talking about marla here, same as at the end of the series - hey! it's another invisible character!). Neil thinks graham and patty are happier than any other couple he knows. patty doesn't want angela to go over to brian's house the next night. graham finally agrees to do the ballroom dancing thing, while angela continues to work her about permission to go to brian's. upstairs, angela overhears her mom and dad thinking that she has a crush on brian, much to her amusement (is it just me, or does claire look really good in boxers? (sorry. i'll stop drooling now)). after a brief song-and-dance from patty, permission is granted. angela considers her reflection in the mirror. danielle appears briefly, but runs away, fearing the wrath of the sibling. she arrives at brian's and thinks about how it smells exactly the same as when she was little "which was reassuring... and annoying... much like brian himself," she wonders if the mouse can breathe, then tells brian that rayanne and rickie will be dropping by later. he knew she wouldn't be much help. graham approaches the ballroom dancing place. patty approaches. her hair is suddenly extremely shorter. the teacher approaches and off they go. rayanne and rickie arrive with jordan and head inside to send angela out to obtain her id. jordan lights up (not a doobie). graham and patty aren't doing well. rayanne gathers foodstuffs. angela drags rayanne off for a lil' chat, while rickie feels sorry for the mouse (oh - the mouse is part of brian's volumeter - sorry if i didn't explain that earlier). graham and patty get lectured by the teacher, and continue to not do well. angela is scared to go outside. she's afraid that making her fantasy a reality will destroy it or something. rayanne totally disagrees. rickie sees both sides. the teacher appraises graham 'n' patty. she suggests that they dance with other people. it sets off an argument. the teacher tries to help them. it doesn't work, but it's not the teacher's fault. angela heads outside, to the teacher's narration about dancing. it's odd how it fits perfectly. angela leans in and grins goofily at jordan, who tells her to get in. she protests that she can't go anywhere. jordan notes that he didn't say "go anywhere". angela gets in. rayanne and rickie try to understand the volumeter, accidentally annoying the crap out of brian, who can't really explain it to them completely, other than "it's for extra credit". angela is amazed by the feeling of her life suddenly getting good while she stares at jordan. he hands her her id, then kisses her as she talks about it, then again as she explains why she protested. she ends up lecturing him on manners. he isn't offended, but he does stop trying to kiss her. she starts to wish he would kiss her again, but he has to go, and she leaves the car. neil is amazed that graham and patty are back so soon, and is surprised by patty's haircut. graham tells neil about that girl he was talking to in front of the house in the previous episode. neil is more upset about what graham and patty's breakup would mean to him than to them. graham tells him that he's supposed to meet her at a motel... "god, man... that's such a cliche." "cliches happen. talk me out of it." "don't do it." angela sits outside the crakow residence, then, as brian comes out, she goes inside. brian finds her id on the sidewalk. jordan drives back by, wondering if tino's around. brian notices that the id says that angela is 1 day old. jordan wonders if angela is really from france. it is finely crafted wierdness at its best. graham and patty fight. noisily. i wonder how danielle isn't awakened. patty absentmindedly throws down her treasured ballerina statue in frustration, breaking it into several thousand pieces, approximately, and suddenly graham is right there to comfort her. angela leaves, telling brian that she isn't going to take the extra credit. he gives her her id. graham and patty chat post-coitally, suddenly not nearly so contentious. downstairs, angela wanders in quietly , looking for some food in the fridge. graham arrives and grabs some orange juice, and offers to warm up angela's spaghetti for her since she doesn't want to talk. she thinks that when her dad warms something up for her it tastes better than when someone else does. suddenly, her dad turns psychic on her. patty arrives, looking for graham, and tells everyone to go to bed. graham tells them to go upstairs, that he will clean up. but then he grabs the phone and calls that girl. he tells her that he can't go through with their thing. angela comes back downstairs looking for her id and overhears him. as he hangs up, he sees her, and tells her that she will have a hard time getting up in the morning. fade to white credits on black. next week on My so-called Life... "Guns and Gossip" --dogbert! dennis nedblake - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide Guns and Gossip "this is hard. we need to talk." ("when i was twelve, my mother gave me my sex talk. i'm not sure either of us has fully recovered.") "now that you and jordan are..." "oh my god, mom, PLEASE..." "angela... i can accept that you have a boyfriend..." "i don't have a boyfriend!" "fine, a pal... a male pal... whatever word you want to choose. the point is, i'm your mother and i don't think you're ready..." "mom, please..." "i don't think you're ready, but i have to know if this is what's happening, because i don't think that i can keep you from..." "mom, i beg you to stop!" "i knew then that the rumor was true, the rumor was right...because at that moment, i would have done anything i wanted him so much." The Dogbert Plot Summary (tm) of "My so-called Life", season 1, episode 3 - _Guns and Gossip_ opening credits, or news of an airplane crash. angela wonders why she can't have something important enough to know where she was when it happened, like adults do when president kennedy was shot. she feels that nobody knows anything important. brian goes to the bathroom. rayanne passes angela a note, after snickering. a shot goes off. sounds like a 9mm. brian exits the bathroom, and sees a gun lying on the floor, next to a puddle of soda. rickie dashes off down the hall. the social studies teacher asks brian if he saw who it was. angela, meanwhile, is upset by the note, which claims that she had "complete sex" with jordan. later, in the bathroom, the gun is the hot topic of conversation. angela is still more upset about the note than the gun. rayanne is typically glib. rickie enters, and, after beligerently asking some girl "what're *you* looking at?" joins in the conversation, assisting rayanne in teasing angela about the note. "god, just shoot me," angela says. "we could probably arrange that," rayanne replies. angela explains the whole truth to rickie and rayanne, who think that she probably should have just had sex with him. back at the chase household, patty interrogates angela about the gun. angela is vehemently opposed to being dropped off at school. the excitement of danielle's school can't really compare. later, graham consoles patty and helps her to be more rational about being scared for angela. in gym the next day, angela is wierded out by guys who are "looking at me". like *looking* at her. and "hi"s that aren't "hi". rayanne does her best to make it a more positive thing. angela is not convinced. rayanne wonders if perhaps jordan started the rumor. angela, wandering down the hall, sees rayanne talking to jordan, then rickie being picked on by neandrathals. rayanne asks jordan if he started the rumor. he shakes his head no and walks away. sharon and her new friend gina interrogate brian about what he saw. the principal, mr. foster suddenly appears and summons brian, rather menacingly, to the office. as he leaves, he passes angela, who sees sharon talking to gina as they both stare at her. she looks the other way and angela whacks into one of the suddenly very visible security guards. commercials mr. foster wonders if brian always gets "grades like this". he seems very pleased. then he asks what brian saw. it's almost as if he's playing "good cop / bad cop" all by himself. he interrogates brian with great expertise. he would have made a good cardinal during the inquisition. brian leaves the office, and sees rickie slumped against some lockers. that evening, the library is crammed with parents, who are very upset with mr. foster. in the back of the room, some lady is sarcastic to patty. oh... that's rayanne's mom! my, she *is* sarcastic, isn't she? patty seems impressed with her rhetorical technique. after the meeting, patty and amber leave together. they discuss their daughters. patty is somewhat surprised to find out about jordan. later still, patty discusses what she found out about jordan with graham as he fixes dinner. he doesn't want to know about it, really, and makes her taste the food. angela wanders through and asks for a taste. patty asks her about jordan. angela quickly figures out what patty knows - it's almost as if she's telepathic - and is quite upset about the whole thing - "i can't believe this. i can't *believe* this! i hate *everyone*!" rayanne defends her actions the next day, and asks if angela wants her to have her mom call angela's mom and tell her she *didn't* sleep with jordan? angela screams, as if in pain. two of the above-mentioned neandrathals pick on rickie again until rayanne appears and drives them away with skillful insults. she mocks rickie's ability to defend himself and then goes to class. in social studies, rickie spouts off about how the people who have guns might be carrying them to protect themselves. in the background, a note is passeed to angela by a jock-type person. angela leaves with a sort of sick/disgusted look, after a sort of explanatory "come hither look" is given her by the jock. she does not explainin where she's going to the teacher. commercials the girl whose locker was shot talks to the counsellor. sheis wierded out by how much she wanted to go and get the soda that was shot right before it happened. rayanne talks to the counsellor as well, wondering if she can get some time off. she is slightly overdramatic. brian is interrogated once again by the principal and some policemen. as he leaves the office, rayanne tells him "remember what happens to snitches". sharon thinks he should tell them. gina thinks he should give her an interview. angela talks to the counsellor. she is still upset about the note, although the counsellor thinks it's the gun that's causing it. later, angela lies on her bed listening to the cranberries. patty comes in and nearly embarrases her to death by trying to discuss sex with her groundlessly. the next day, angela encounters jordan in the hall. they discuss the whole brouhaha about them having sex. angela is suddenly overwhelmed by her feelings for him, but then as jordan considers that perhaps they *should* have sex, since people already think they are, her feelings change a little - to fear. she goes into the bathroom to splash some water on her face, and goes back into the stalls just in time to hear sharon come in, talking to someone about how brian told her that she and jordan had sex, not knowing angela is back there. commercials rayanne thinks that brian will rat on rickie. she knows that whatever rickie did, he had to because angela hasn't "had to clean him up after some neandrathal beat the hell out of him." mr. foster sneaks up behind brian, moves him off into a corner, and threatens him most non-subtly. eek. angela sneaks up behind brian in the computer lab. she starts an argument. they are shushed. the argument continues, and moves on to include brian lying to sharon about angela. they are shushed numerous times as they fight. brian is upset that angela used him to get to jordan. angela doesn't notice that he's in love with her. jordan sneaks up behind angela as she climbs the stairs, and apologizes for making an inappropriate proposal to her. she waffles towards maybe they should sleep together, but jordan has decided that he was wrong, and doesn't notice her change of mind. angela wanders outside for a breath of fresh rain and sees rickie sitting someone else's car, and runs out through the rain to join him. rickie wishes he had angela's life. angela is scared that rickie is carrying a gun. he explains the situation to her - that his cousin brought the gun to sell it, and the cousin dropped the gun, it went off, and the cousin wet himself and ran away. rickie hopes that brian tells everyone that he had the gun, so maybe the neandrathals will leave him alone some. he goes on that he thought angela thought of him as "rayanne's friend". angela gives him a big reassuring hug. brian enters the office with a look of resolution on his face. mr. foster tells him have a seat, the law enforcement people will be there in a minute. rayanne wonders who would supply rickie's makeup in a high-security prison. angela wonders if rayanne could possibly not make everything into a joke. but that is not the case. rayanne is sure that it's no big deal. angela wants to be put out of her misery. rayanne thinks it's fun, with people running around, rumors flying, and so forth. she tells angela to "admit it. it's really great." "i don't know what you're talking about," angela replies with a grin. brian tells all the nice people that he went the bathroom, heard a scuffle, a shot, saw legs running away, and he doesn't want to be pressured any more. he states his case very strongly. the next morning at the chase home, patty observes that they still don't know who had the gun. she doesn't like not being able to protect angela. the protagonists approach the school, smiling slightly. they are somewhat surprised to find metal detectors enclosing the entrance, with the dramatic/spooky music fading, with the shot, to black. -------------88------------- until next week... (or whenever... =) ) --dogbert dennis - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu "... you're a weakling / you're a suckling lamb / you're not so tough / you're just a man... " --blake babies: _i'm not your mother_ dennis - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide Fathers and Daughters when someone compliments your parents, there's like nothing to say. when the print shop gets audited, patty's father comes out of retirement to "handle things," stepping all over patty's toes in the process, while angela, who has seen graham talking with another woman, continues to increase distance between herself and her father. desperate for angela to remember that he's the good-guy dad, graham gives her and rayanne two tickets to see the dead, which makes him a god to wannabe hippie rayanne, but only serves to further isolate angela from her feelings about him--how can she hate him so much if he's such a great dad? Scott Gorcey - v075q5fr@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide The Zit ...because i'm so ugly, and you're so beautiful. hormones rage in the high school as even sharon has a boyfriend while angela broods about jordan, how ugly she feels, and the zit on her face, which is punctuated when patty pressures her about partici- pating in the annual mother-daughter fashion show. danielle vies for patty's attention, while graham remains vastly outnumbered. Scott Gorcey - v075q5fr@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide The Substitute Is there some parallel universe where teachers are like human beings? an eccentric substitute sweeps into english class and throws their work--on a literary journal--out the window, inspiring the class to think for themselves, and angela to question authority, which leaves graham beaming with pride. he sees right through jordan, who begins to show interest in learning for the first time, and eventually discovers that jordan can't read. Scott Gorcey - v075q5fr@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide Red i knew nothing would be the same between me and jordan. angela declares she is over jordan catalano, and has written a four page letter detailing "every emotion i've ever had for him," which she of course has no intention of ever sending. instead, she gives it to rayanne to read, whereupon rayanne loses it. when jordan returns the letter to angela, she won't believe he didn't read it... until she realizes he can't read. this gives angela the confidence to ask him out--and causes patty to think on her feet about ground rules. meanwhile, patty fears she may be pregnant, while graham contemplates the possibility of a son... Scott Gorcey - v075q5fr@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide The Heart Attack patty and graham are at their office. graham uses obscure mnemonic devices to remember the colors of the paper they're printing on, then, as he's about to take off for a meeting, patty gets a call... at school, angela/brian/sharon are in class, taking a test. a page comes in with a note for sharon. angela looks up and sees her dad in the hall, and immediately goes into the hall despite her teacher's protests, following sharon. graham tells angela that sharon's dad (andy) had a heart attack. angela goes over to the czerski home after school to help her mom who's packing some stuff for camille (sharon's mom). she sits in sharon's room reminiscing for a moment. we get to see young versions of angela and sharon after sharon has had her tonsils removed and is eating ice cream. patty and graham try to reassure camille and sharon at the hospital. eventually, graham takes sharon home since camille is going to stay at the hospital overnight. angela teases her sister and danielle acts like a human for the first time so far, wondering if graham died who would give her away at her wedding. graham brings sharon home. angela gives her her bed, and she falls asleep immediately, leaving angela feeling awkward about giving her a hug or not. angela brings a muffin up as sharon wakes up, and patty sacrifices angela's breakfast for her. at school, sharon beaks down and starts crying when kyle (her boyfriend) is outstandingly insensitive. she eventually is rather ineptly comforted by brian. rayanne notices and is typically insensitive. later, brian and rickie discuss the implications of the odd things girls say. graham ends up at the hospital again with camille (who is coping by making extremely tasteless jokes with patty). patty finds herself strangely drawn to graham. i couldn't keep up for a bit here. angela and patty and graham and sharon and rayanne and rickie and brian do assorted things. angela ends up under the bleachers by the football field crying because she feels like a horrible person for not being able to console sharon. she meets jordan down there. he's smoking. she cries on him for a moment, then his friend comes along and he takes off. i didn't keep up again. i can remember everything that happened, just not what order it happened in. in the end, patty fires graham because she knows he's not happy. somewhere in here, angela and sharon have an arguement about who's worse about using brian. brian comes out the worst. he has to call and order the pizza, which nobody ends up eating (well, probably danielle, i guess) in the end, rayanne and rickie begin to tease angela, then rickie goes off on his own and begins to tease both of them. they chase him away across the campus. after school, angela takes sharon's stuff over to her house, and they bawl on each other and explain why they've been so crappy to each other recently. presumably they forgive each other, because it's dark out as angela walks home and eventually happens upon brian, who is working on his bike in his front yard (why does he always do that stuff at night?) angela is nice to him for once, sort of, although she ends the conversation with "go inflate your tire, brian." (at which point i almost fell out of my chair because you can just *see* the smirk of someone making a very clever double-entendre spread across her face). as she walks away, angela begins to think again. "there are so many ways you can be connected to people..." the narrative comes unstuck in time and we see graham giving patty her lunch and her briefcase and a goodbye kiss the next morning, then we see angela walking through the halls at school with rayanne and rickie. she sees jordan and gets this big ol' honking grin on her face like she's happy for the first time in several years. the smile continues as sharon walks past the other way and smiles back. what a cuuuuute episode. although there's a lot of crying going on. normally i don't like watching stuff with people crying. but this was one of my favorite episodes so far. go figure. and they didn't resolve anything, really. angela and sharon are talking again, but that's about it. i love it. i had no clue what they were going to do tonight, and i was *so* surprised at the way they handled it (almost the entire commercial for this episode came from the second half of the show). babylon 5 is the only other show that can surprise me like that anymore, and it can't do it every week. Dennis Nedblake - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide Halloween I can't believe all these people are walking around like idiots. I wouldn't talk. Kevin J. Chen kchen@cc.gatech.edu Angela is preparing to go to school. She is comtemplating whether or not to wear a costume for Hallowe'en, but is caught in the moral quandry that she does not know who she would like to be. Danielle has precisely the opposite problem she knows what she wants to go as (Catwoman), but has found out that one of her "more developed" friends has the same costume. Patti is faced with a quandry or two or her own: the first is that the person that she hired to replace Graham, a fellow named Boyd, is not as good a worker as she would like him to be. He is perpetually arriving late or leaving early, and has a surprising number of chiropractic problems which perpetually need addressing. Patti finds herself wondering whether (and if so, how) she should fire him. The other problem is that both she and Graham need costumes for the Hallowe'en party at Camille's that night. Angela is among a minority few not garbed in costume -- she and Brian Krakow. Sharon, dressed as a cat, is perpetually mistaken for a mouse or rat. Even Angela's new English teacher (who apparently has been in place for roughly a month, if that dates the episode with the substitute English teacher) is dressed in an old man's clothing, replete with grey hair and beard (Moses?). Brian, true to form, leans over and says that he's glad someone else besides himself had the good sense not to come to school "dressed like an idiot", to which Angela responds with some of her hallmark bluntness. Jordan is absent from class -- again -- and the teacher asks if anyone knows him. Thinking that she has only spoken to him about "seven times", and shared one "really bad" kiss and one "really excellent" one with him, Angela is singled out by the teacher (presumably for her apparent pensiveness) to give Jordan a message -- either attend class or be suspended from school. Rayanne, dressed as a sultry witch, is shaving her legs in the girls' washroom when the door is open, and a curious Brian looks in, only to have the door close before his curiosity is sated. Angela, sans costume enters, and Ricki, sans makeup, follows along. Ricki has borrowed some clothing from Brian, and, when questioned about who he is supposed to be, replies "Everyone else." Rayanne has a costume for Angela, who winds up wearing a frumpish pullover sweater and a pair of pointed glasses (a la Lisa Loeb). Somewhere along the way, the story of a certain Nicky Driskall is mentioned -- a student who presumably died in the school's gym in 1963. The circumstances of his death are varied and legendary -- and one of Rayanne's aunts had actually "ridden on the back of his bike" once -- the aunt whose clothing Angela is wearing as a costume. Patti and Graham go hunting for costumes, and wind up at a store minded by a no-nonsense matron who is virtually psychic when it comes to costuming. She produces a Rapunzel costume for Patti and a pirate costume for Graham, and says "I've been doing this for years -- the costumes will fit." Sensing that she won't take no for an answer, Patti and Graham take the costumes. In the meanwhile, Angela, wandering through the hallways at school, sees a young figure in the hallway who she suspects may be the late Nicky Driskall. When she gets closer, however, her vision is obscured by passersby, and the phantom turns out to be Jordan. She delivers the teacher's ultimatum, which Jordan promptly proceeds to ignore, walking off in "I'm too cool for this" fashion. "You're welcome," Angela calls sarcastically after him, but she is troubled by his lack of concern over potential expulsion. Later, she searches the library for an old yearbook with a picture of Nicky Driskall and finds one with a full-page dedication. "When someone dies when they're young," she observes, "they like stay young forever. Like vampires." Rayanne interrupts her thoughts, startling her, and reveals to her a plan for coming back to the school at night to try to make contact with Nicky Driskall's ghost. Angela protests, but Rayanne counters her, saying "If you don't care, why did you come to look at his picture?" As she and Angela and Ricki are leaving the library, both Angela and Ricki are ambivalent about Rayanne's idea. Ricki seems particularly bothered by this, because, as he later admits, he "believes in ghosts". Brian, following Ricki with cleaning instructions about his clothes, overhears their argument and tries to discover what they are planning. Ricki tells him he is better off if he doesn't go along. Back at home, Patti and Graham are still debating how to handle Boyd. Graham is on the verge of intervening, when Patti reminds him that he is no longer part of the company, and that she had actually gone ahead and fired *him* before, anyway. They are interrupted by a pair of skinny, bestockinged legs which gawkishly sidle into the room. They think it is Angela, but it turns out that it is really Danielle, who has donned Angela's trademark grunge shirt and put on a wig of short, straight red hair. Mockingly, she claimes that she and Sharon are from different worlds, and stands there regarding her parents with her arms wrapped around herself. Graham and Patti can only sit there, stunned, at the perfection of Danielle's mastery of Angela's behavior -- until Danielle, not comprehending the effect she has had on her parents, tells them that she was "doing her Angela". Graham and Patti put on their costumes, all the while discussing the situation with Boyd. Sharon arrives, looking for someone, and Danielle mistakes her for a mouse (this time, she does not correct her). Sharon, too, is struck by Danielle's uncanny resemblance to Angela and gives her some tips on how to perfect her imitation ("Yeah," agrees Danielle. "She's always hugging his shirt like it was her only friend.") As Danielle departs to collect her share of Hallowe'en treats, Sharon suddenly finds herself running after this small copy of Angela, reminded of a simpler time when they had both been good friends. At home, Graham and Patti are preparing to leave for Camille's party, all the while handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. As some very choice classical music plays in the background, Graham begins to warm up to the occasion, only to be interrupted by more Hallowe'en goers. They resume their foreplay to be interrupted one more time, after which Graham gives them the entire candy bowl and slams the door shut. He tears the back of Patti's costume open and the two sink onto the floor while Patti acrobatically removes her shoes. Both Sharon and Danielle head for home after amassing good hauls of Hallowe'en candy, and Danielle says that she wishes that Sharon, and not Angela, was her sister. When Sharon asks why, Danielle claims to "hate" Angela, to which Sharon responds by saying, "If you hate her so much, then why do you want to be her?" At the high school, Brian Krakow unexpectedly shows up, but Tino, who was supposed to arrange the "contact" with Nicky Driskall's spirit, has not. When confronted with what to do, Rayanne teasingly accuses Brian of knowing a way into the school, which he confirms by silence. They convince (cajole, threaten) him to get them inside, but Ricki, worried that things have gone too far, decides to leave. Angela, Brian, and Rayanne wander inside through an old air duct (?), and begin to explore the silent emptiness of the school. Ricki, wandering by the football field near the high school, sees a crowd of rowdy bikers making noise and tossing garbage cans. He hurries by underneath the bleachers, where he encounters Joran smoking a cigarette. Jordan expresses his disappointment in the evening's events, which is just "the same old thing". He says he wants to leave, but is honor-bound to help find the person(s) who "egged Tino's car". Even though he finds his friends' actions boring and juvenile, he cannot leave, though, because maybe they will "do something cool", and he doesn't want to miss it. Ricki bids him good luck and leaves. Inside the school, Angela thinks she sees something and takes the lead up the stairs. Behind her, Rayanne pauses to adjust her costume, revealing her legs to Brian, who has stayed behind at a door. Distracted by her presence, the door slams shut behind him, locking them all in the school. Angela wanders around the school and suddenly finds herself in a gym in the process of being decorated for a party. She follows two girls, dressed in the fashion of the 60s, who are having a conversation about Nicky Driskall. One of them apparently is romantically involved with Nicky -- the other wonders what the first sees in him. There is a flower which was given to the girl by Nicky, which she drops to the floor. Angela, apparently unnoticed by the two, picks it up. Brian, trying to find a way out of the school, tries to use the computer to shut off the security alarm so they can simply leave. Rayanne, in the meanwhile, accuses him of having stared at her legs twice, which Brian feebly denies. As he tinkers with the system, however, the lights suddenly go out -- a power failure. Rayanne suddenly loses her self-assurance, because she is scared of the dark. She tells him that her father used to come home drunk, and lock her in the basement where it was dark. He puts his arm around her to comfort her, and she laughs at his gullibility. However, she still claims she is afraid of the dark. Angela leaves the gym and sees the shadow of Nicky Driskall and one of his friends. Nicky's friend, anxious to "get back" at the principal, is planning to hang an effigy of the principal in the gymnasium. Nicky does not want to go along with the idea, but eventually does so. Daylight. Brian wakes with Rayanne close to him -- Rayanne wakes and screams when she sees Brian, and they both scream when they see the somber face of a stern-looking janitor looming over them. Rayanne finds Angela asleep in the hallway and wakes her, and tells her that the janitor is a friend of hers and will not reveal that they were in the school. At home, Patti still has not made up her mind to fire Boyd, wondering if perhaps they can resolve their differences. Boyd, however, calls them (presumably with another excuse for something or another) and she steels her will and finally does the dirty deed. Danielle returns Angela's things (her mother asks if it is "good to be herself again"), and lingers for a moment in her sister's room, admiring her things. Patti returns the costumes, and is struck with the idea of keeping them, "just in case" she and Graham get the urge again. The shopkeeper is suitably unsurprised when Patti suggests this, and is even less surprised to learn that the bodice of the costume has been ripped. The handkerchief from the costume is missing, however, and when Patti notices it on the ground, she pockets it, feigning disappointment when the shopkeeper announces that she will be charged for its loss. At school, Brian is almost ecstatic about having slept with (well, near) Rayanne, and tells Ricki that he will "never guess what happened." Ricki returns Brian's clothes, replying that Rayanne has already told him what happened, which was "nothing much". Rayanne is at her locker, and when she sees the two of them coming, she goes the other way, completely ignoring Brian. Ricki follows her. Jordan is planning on skipping class again when Angela confronts him again. "What's school done for me?" he asks. "What if I don't care if I get expelled?" Angela, exasperated, tells him that is his own business, but that she has every right to try to stop him from doing so. She heads off to class, and is gratified to see Jordan eventually wander in and take a seat. The teacher begins class and tells the students to open their books for a reading. As Angela does so, an old pressed rose, similar to the one that she found in the gym, peers out. Analysis This week's theme seemed to be identity, and the expectations that seem to follow an image around. Angela does not wear a costume for fear of not knowing how to behave in someone else's identity. Danielle, apparently insecure in her own identity, seeks shelter in Angela's. Jordan is trapped by the sullen machismo of his own image. Oddly enough, I couldn't help but think about Batman Returns (which also did a lot of thematic play around the idea of masks and whether they conceal or reveal identity) while watching this. This part of the show I felt was well done. The greatest moment of the show was Danielle entering that kitchen, spouting Angela-isms and moving with that nervously unsure, head-tilting gaze. It is ironic that the one episode that we see the most of her character, she is actually assuming the persona of someone else. Still, the scenes where Graham and Patti are simply stunned into silence by her resemblence to Angela, and those where Sharon and Danielle become good and fast friends some of the best that the series has had to date. The whole affair with Patti, Graham, and the costumes was hilarious. I was less amused by the shopkeeper, whose blunt oracularity was a bit on the predictable (not to mention ludicrous) side, but the scene where Graham and Patti are trying to get it on, with trick-or-treaters continually hounding them, and on top of it all *fantastically* appropriate classical music playing in the background, almost literally had me ROTFL. I'm still saddened to see Brian perpetually getting dumped upon, despite his best efforts to ingratiate himself with, well, anyone. I'm glad that he seems to get along with Ricki, who may be a kindred outcast spirit. But his streak with women continues to produce non-existent -- if not negative -- results. When I listened to Rayanne's speech about her father (and I'll be damned if that girl doesn't think fast on her feet), I thought to myself "Brian and Rayanne? They couldn't!" In this one case, I was disappointed that I was wrong. I really hope they give Brian a break soon. Alternative Analysis H. A. Paulsen paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu I just wanted to respond to some of Kevin's summary and subsequent commentary. I actually thought this episode was great, and went back and watched my tape about an hour after the show finished (fast-forwarding through the mom and dad scenes, of course, which I still can't seem to get over finding relatively lame). which Angela responds with some of her hallmark bluntness. Jordan is absent from class -- again -- and the teacher asks if anyone knows him. Thinking that she has only spoken to him about "seven times", and shared one "really bad" kiss and one "really excellent" one with him, Angela is singled out by the teacher (presumably for her apparent pensiveness) to give Jordan a message -- either attend class or be suspended from school. I think the point we need not to miss is that Angela is responding to the question of whether or not anyone "knows" Jordan. This is an issue for her, and it's been raised before (most notably in the episode in which she discovers Jordan's illiteracy.) She feels connected to Jordan, and yet also feels that she doesn't know him (or isn't on his level). sweater and a pair of pointed glasses (a la Lisa Loeb). Somewhere along the way, the story of a certain Nicky Driskall is mentioned -- a student who presumably died in the school's gym in 1963. The circumstances of his death are varied and legendary -- and one of Rayanne's aunts had actually "ridden on the back of his bike" once -- the aunt whose clothing Angela is wearing as a costume. I noticed that each character related the tale of Nicky Driskall's death in a way which reflected his or her own identity. For example in Rayanne's telling, Nicky's death is actually the fault of a sexy (ie, stilletto clad) woman with a penchant for flamboyent dress. (Wonder who that sounds like?). Her aunt got a ride on the back of Nicky's bike by dressing up and pretending to be 15. In the meanwhile, Angela, wandering through the hallways at school, sees a young figure in the hallway who she suspects may be the late Nicky Driskall. When she gets closer, however, her vision is obscured by passersby, and the phantom turns out to be Jordan. She delivers the teacher's ultimatum, which Jordan promptly proceeds to ignore, walking off in "I'm too cool for this" fashion. "You're welcome," Angela calls sarcastically after him, but she is troubled by his lack of concern over potential expulsion. I think the point is that Nicky IS Jordan. She does indeed "see" Nicky on the stairs. But here we must question the form that Angela has given him. He is a creation of her imagination (unconscious?). It seems to me that she has created a second Jordan to play with. The fact that Jordan is about the allow school to slip away from him (he's on his third strike, having been left back twice already) is very self-destructive of him. Leaving school would be a sort of death for someone like him. It is no coincidence that the character Angela has paired him with (in an uncanny doubling) is one who has died a very unnecessary death at a young age. Jordan is in a serious existencial crisis here, and Angela's message only complicates it. Later, she searches the library for an old yearbook with a picture of Nicky Driskall and finds one with a full-page dedication. "When someone dies when they're young," she observes, "they like stay young forever. Like vampires." What I found so very interesting about this scene was the not-very- subtle use of Kurt Cobain's image on the cover of a Rolling Stone magazine left lying conspicuously on the table next to the yearbook. I think they should have titled this the "Kurt Cobain episode." It seems not unlikely that his death my have provoked the writing of an episode like this in the first place. (or am I stretching it a bit?) sink onto the floor while Patti acrobatically removes her shoes. More like "as Patty throws her legs in the air in a bowdlerized for the TV viewing audience (ie, the kids the network has mistakenly aimed this show at) version of the sex act....." (God, they annoy me. Ricki, wandering by the football field near the high school, sees a crowd of rowdy bikers making noise and tossing garbage cans. He hurries by underneath the bleachers, where he encounters Jordan smoking a cigarette. Jordan expresses his disappointment in the evening's events, which is just "the same old thing" He says he wants to leave, but is honor-bound to help find the person(s) who "egged Tino's car". Even though he finds his friends' actions boring and juvenile, he cannot leave, though, because maybe they will "do something cool" and he doesn't want to miss it. Ricki bids him good luck and leaves. Jordan's speech to Ricki under the bleachers is full of amazing subtleties, ironies, and foreshadowings. When I watched it again later, I couldn't get over how great it was. Notice that he tells Ricki that it is okay for him to be there, as it is "public property". This is exactly Brian's first response when Rayanne asks him what he was doing there (at the school.) It is ironic that Jordan and Brian use the same expression (Brian supposedly being so much more intelligent than Jordan, and all.) Maybe the point is that they are somehow equal in that they each have something to fall back on (looks/coolness or intelligence). This doubling of Jordan with Brian is a strange, yet subtle way of giving an indication of the thought process going on inside that pretty head. But I digress. Jordan tells Ricki that he has to stay there in just the same way that Nicki will tell Angela that he must go on to pull the prank (which will lead to his death) out of loyalty to his friend. It is as though each of them feels compelled by some force to live down their potential. Jordan doesn't want to miss out on anything that his friends are doing, and yet he feels an ambivalence about it which will eventually give him the motivation to stay in school Also, note the fact that Ricki was the one in the bathroom who had most closely approximated the details of Nicky's death. He is the one who gets closest to Jordan when he is nearest to his own (albeit metaphorical) fall. Angela wanders around the school and suddenly finds herself in a gym in the If you taped it, watch the shadow play of Angela bumping into the skeleton. I love this actress's body language so much and this piece whimsically illustrates how good she is. [The Brian and Rayanne thing] I love what this juxtaposition does to these two characters. It adds so many dimensions to who each of them is. It made me pity Brian even more, yet also illustrated just how out of touch he is while at the same time showing Rayanne as more of a bitch than she has previously been known, but one who is willing to be somewhat decent to Brian if he'll only get his shit together. Angela leaves the gym and sees the shadow of Nicky Driskall and one of his friends. Nicky's friend, anxious to "get back" at the principal, is planning to hang an effigy of the principal in the gymnasium. Nicky does not want to go along with the idea, but eventually does so. Nicky, just as Jordan is involved in a plan to get back at someone who did something bad to his group of friends. In begging Nicky not to do this self-destructive (literally) thing, she is actually begging Jordan not to give in to the comppulsion to self destruct. Nicky has told Angela that his girl thinks he's a loser and that she's out of his league. These are the sorts of issues Angela has been dealing with in her relationship with Jordan. (Remember the things that Brian said about Jordan when he discovered that Jordan was expected at Angela's house that evening a few episodes ago.) If Jordan leaves school, he will never be in Angela's league. Daylight....Rayanne finds Angela asleep in the hallway and wakes her, Has it all been a dream??? Boy, I could throw some serious Freudian analysis into this. The sort of merging of characters and displacement that I have been talking about is exactly what happens in dreams, where we are allowed to live out our unconscious thoughts in the dream's process of working it all out. At school, Brian is almost ecstatic about having slept with (well, near) Rayanne, and tells Ricki that he will "never guess what happened." Ricki I can't help but wonder if naive Brian actually thinks that that is what "sleeping with someone" means. (Just a thought.) Jordan is planning on skipping class again when Angela confronts him again. "What's school done for me?" he asks. "What if I don't care if I get expelled?" Angela, exasperated, tells him that is his own business, but that she has every right to try to stop him from doing so. If we again conflate the two confrontations that Angela provokes (both with Nicki and Jordan) into one, it becomes obvious that we are dealing with all of the issues that Nicky spoke to Angela of. She doesn't want Jordan to waste his life and thus be out of her league. It seems to me that she is successful in persuading Jordan merely in her even caring. My So-Called Life My So-Called Life Episode Guide The Party Have you ever cared so much for a person that it, like, hurt? My life is totally edited? Rayanne and Ricki are critically examining the contents of the Chase family refrigerator, noting with mock admiration the cleanliness and organization of its contents. "Close the door," urges Angela. "My mom like knows if it's open for more than forty seconds." "What's with the mustard?" Rayanne asks, to which Angela replies "It's my father's." "You know what that means," says Rayanne, "sex." (Of course, Angela notes that, to Rayanne, *everything* is about sex). Selecting several choice comestibles, and a bottle of beer, which she hands to Ricki, Rayanne and the others start heading up to Angela's room when Patty and Danielle walk in. Of course, Patty notices the beer in Ricki's hand and gives several abortive attempts at a lecture: "I don't ever... You are under no circumstances... There are rules in this house..." Ricki apologizes profusely, saying that this will never happen again. Patty orders Angela into the kitchen. "She hates me," Ricki whispers to Rayanne as the others disappear into the kitchen. Patty pours the beer down the drain. She gives Angela the short "no drinking" warning, and Angela denies having drank anything (Patty, obviously, is doubtful). She reminds Angela ("I've told you this twelve times") of her grandparents' forty-fifth wedding anniversary party at a fondue restaurant ("I hate fondue," says Angela. "I'm always losing my bread."), which is this Saturday. Angela heads to the stairs, where Rayanne and Ricki have been waiting. Of course, this won't happen again, because tomorrow, they are going to Rayanne's house. Even though Angela and Rayanne have been friends for half a year, Angela has never been to Rayanne's place before. It looks like a small apartment, but is in actuality one of those little magic stores that one reads about in fantasy novels. Bead curtains, wind chimes, small scented candles, parasols, and other paraphernalia abound. And of course, who should be there, but Amber, Rayanne's mother, who welcomes Angela with "Come to mommy" and a big hug. Angela is overwhelmed, and immediately feels drawn to this slightly larger and older version of Rayanne. Amber has a card for Rayanne, with a lot of money inside it -- a birthday gift to go with the card, in which is written "Happy birthday, and maybe more." ("It's a mistake," says Amber. "He meant 'many' more." "He wrote *maybe*," worries Rayanne). Amber does tarot readings, and offers to do one for Angela. She picks a card, which represents a woman "hiding behind a mask". "That's so her," says Rayanne, referring to Angela -- but Amber says that it really refers to Angela's mother, Patty. But the cards don't always mean just one thing, Amber tells her. "Yeah," says Rayanne, "like last week, I drew Death." But Death signifies an ending and a new beginning, the closing of one door, and the opening of another. Angela is fascinated by this initiation into the occult. Patty and her mother are returning from the hospital when the phone rings. "I'll get it," says Patty. "No, I'll get it," says her mother. Patty's mother picks up the phone. It's Angela, who wants to have dinner at Rayanne's. Of course, Patty says no, but her mother urges her to let her go ahead. Patty is about to let Angela go ahead, when her mother says, "But -- it would be nice to see her again, since I never see her." Finally, Patty resolves that Angela will come home, and she'll be over to pick her up at Rayanne's shortly. Patty's mother is nervous and fiddles with a pair of the Chase's candlesticks, shuffling them back and forth on a credenza. What to do about the anniversary party, since her father has just recovered from a diabetes-induced problem and therefore can't eat fat or sugar. Of course, they can't just *not* have the party... But they *could* have it at Patty's place... Patty goes upstairs, where Graham is hiding in the bedroom. "Help me," she says weakly. "She's re-arranging my candlesticks." Graham urges Patty to tell her mother to stop. "You're so naive," she says, collapsing on the bed on top of a stack of newspaper clippings. "What's this?" she asks. "None of your business," snaps Graham, pulling the papers away from her. He confesses that he's making lists of potential new jobs. "That's wonderful!" she says, but Graham frowns at her. "Stop that -- you always get so enthusiastic, it takes something away from me." "Do I do that?" she muses. She tries, unsuccessfully to persuade Graham to go downstairs and keep her mother occupied while she goes to pick Angela up at Rayanne's place. Graham vehemently refuses. "Oh, Patricia," calls her mother, "I'm just going to tinker around in the kitchen for a while." Graham does a double take. "In the kitchen...? Vivian, wait!" he calls, as he heads downstairs. "I didn't realize you were here..." The doorbell rings at Rayanne's place Angela realizes that it's her mom. Ricki answers the door and invites her in. As Angela leaves, Amber tells her to wait -- she can borrow a book on tarot reading -- and rushes off to find it. Rayanne follows her. Like schoolgirls, they snicker about Patty behind her back: "She looks like something out of a clean commercial." Rayanne mentions that she's been thinking about the money that her father sent, and that maybe she will send it back to him. Amber, intent on finding the book for Angela, seems not to hear. Patty is growing impatient -- she has things to do and is ready to leave when Amber finally locates the book. She gives it, and a tarot deck, to Angela, along with a big hug, as Patty looks on with jealous disapproval. Angela and Patty leave. At school, Sharon is having a bad hair day. "Here, you need some mousse," offers Rayanne, pulling things haphazardly from her bag, and spilling its contents all over the floor -- except the contents are crisp new bills ("Aren't they great?" she asks. "They're just like dried leaves."). "Here, get yourself some new makeup... get yourself a wig," she urges Sharon, pushing handfuls of money at her. She is obviously drunk. Ricki urges her to buy something for herself to make her happy -- some new makeup, some new CDs, a leather jacket. Suddenly Rayanne is hit with a realization -- she will throw a party. A big one. She begins to spread the word around school eventually, it becomes so big that someone says that she'll try to help Rayanne get in to her own party. Of course, the party is on Saturday -- the same day as Angela's grandparents' party. Preparations for the party are underway, with no thanks to Vivian or Angela. Vivian insists upon helping, by lending a turkey to the cause ("It's a crowd-pleaser," she insists), and re-arranging Graham's refrigerator. Angela, on the other hand just isn't interested. Patty wants Angela to help out with decorations for the party. Streamers, like the ones she made for a party for Sharon a few years back -- that, and moving and cleaning behind the furniture. Angela, of course, protests. Later, she finds herself at Rayanne's, helping to set up for *her* party. She offers to help move furniture, and puts up some decorative streamers, which Amber gushes over. Amber sympathizes with Angela's inability to come to the party, and urges her to ask her mother if she can leave her grandparents' anniversary party early to come to Rayanne's party. She thinks about this when she returns home and tries to convince her mother to let her go. She lets slip that she had been helping Rayanne set up for her party, though, and Patty is annoyed that she shirked her home responsibilities to help Rayanne. "You hate her," Angela accuses, and Patty is forced to admit it. "No, I don't like her," she says. "She's not the right friend for you." She forbids Angela to go to Rayanne's party. Party time. The doorbell rings, and it is Vivian. She shows off her outfit and shawl, but Patty is less concerned with fashion than something else: "Where's Daddy?" "Oh, he decided not to come," her mother replies. "You know how he hates parties." While Patty is stunned, Vivian tries to sweep the situation under the rug, especially since it will be much more fun since her husband isn't there, after all. More guests arrive. Rayanne's party is big. Really big. People are drinking, people are dancing, people are making out, people are smoking -- things. "There are people here I don't even know," says Rayanne. "There are people in the bathroom who I don't even think are from Pennsylvania." She is ecstatic, mainly from alcohol. Ricki is less so he is obviously worried here. Patty goes upstairs to find Angela. She knocks on her door, which opens to reveal Angela, dressed in party-going clothes, but not for her grandparent's party she is obviously planning to go to Rayanne's. "Are you going to wear that to grandmother's anniversary party?" she asks. "I -- think I'm going over to Rayanne's," says Angela, stepping around her. Patty silently watches her go. This is almost a final stab in the back. She follows Angela downstairs. Angela greets her grandmother warmly. When she doesn't see her grandfather, Angela inquires about his whereabouts. She is hardly pleased when she hears the answer. "If grandpa's not here, then why should I have to be?" Vivian, of course, urges Patty to let her go to Rayanne's. Angela does so. Angela arrives at Rayanne's house, and finally spots Rayanne through the haze of people. She runs up and hugs Angela. "I love you," she says, losing her balance and tumbling both onto the floor, spilling Amber's tarot deck. Ricki is really worried now Rayanne disappears into her mother's bedroom with a bottle of beer. Amber comes home and is much less mellow than we've seen her. "Out!" she screams, pushing people towards the door. "All of you! If you're not out of here in two minutes, I'm calling the police!" She finds her daughter in the bed with a tall, tattooed man and orders him out as well. "I'm very disappointed in you, Rayanne Marie," she says. She had only expected a party with a few people, and Rayanne has been drinking entirely too much. She has to go meet a boyfriend, but the house is to be clean when she gets back. Rayanne is too drunk to notice or care as her mother storms out of the house. Rayanne is in a bad way. She is barely coherent, and complains that she feels cold. Ricki drags her to the bathroom, tells Angela to splash water on her face, and slaps her and shouts at her to wake up. "I've never seen her this bad before," he says. "I don't know what to do." Angela does. The phone rings, and Vivian picks it up. Across the room, Patty sees the expression on her face and goes to see what is the matter. Of course, it is Angela. "Mommy," she sobs. "I need you." Patty looks at her mother, who simply tells her to go. Angela is waiting at the door. Patty quickly takes charge, asking Ricki how long Rayanne has been senseless with shallow breathing. She asks what sort of things she has been taking and tells Ricki to fetch a blanket. She has already arranged for an ambulance to be en route. The paramedics arrive and take Rayanne away on a stretcher. At the hospital, she waits with the others for Rayanne's condition. Ricki approaches her with a bag of potato chips from a vending machine. "Barbeque. It was all they had." She thanks him and takes the bag, but does not open it. "Have you ever wanted to protect someone so bad that it, like, hurt?" he asks her, and Patty regards him carefully, thinking of the meaning of those words as they apply to her. "That wasn't your beer," she says finally. A nurse comes and tells them that they can go in. As Angela and Ricki tend to Rayanne, Amber comes rushing in hysterically. She is simultaneously angry, nervous, and apologetic. Patty tries to calm her, but she rushes to Rayanne's side and takes her inert daughter in her arms. The police are waiting outside for a report, and Amber reluctantly goes with them. Realizing that they cannot wait at the hospital, Patty asks Ricki if he'd "like to go to a really boring party." They arrive at the Chase household, and Patty urges Ricki to go on ahead and tell the others that they will come in soon. Patty tells Angela that what she did was absolutely the right thing to do, and that she should always call her whenever anything is wrong. Angela is too embarrassed, or perhaps humbled by the realization that perhaps, sometimes, her mother is right, to respond. Angela asks her mother where she learned to respond to an emergency like that, and Patty reveals that in college, her roommate was a good friend of hers, who was very much like Rayanne, but whose indulgence cost her her life. Angela goes in to the party. Patty remains behind and tries to keep from crying. Angela reflects on the cards of the tarot, and their meaning. Strength, compassion, fate, the wheel of fortune -- all these things are contained within them. Yet no card is all bad, nor all good. Somehow, it is both fitting, and appropriate. Fade to white. Analysis The first thing that I can think of with regard to this episode is "Holy shit!". By this point, that's probably all the eloquence that I'm capable of. This was, by far, the best episode that I've seen. The writing and plotting were superlative, and the depth of the secondary characters that we see is really unparalleled (especially Amber, who is almost as wonderful to watch as her daughter). This is another mothers and daughters episode, except that this one deals with *three* pairs -- Angela and Patty, Patty and Vivian, and Amber and Rayanne. The contrast and juxtaposition of these three pairs was absolutely fantastic. In particular, I'm impressed by the way that Angela and Patty were mirrored by Patty and her mother, despite the obvious difference in generation. Perhaps the "no, she shouldn't, yes, she should" bits were a bit overdone, but the remainder of the chords here rang true. I especially loved the contrast between the relation between Amber and Patty as parental figures, the object lesson her obviously being that "uptight" isn't necessary always bad, and that "cool" isn't necessarily always good. There were a lot of really moving scenes in this episode -- Angela spends a lot of time this episode slapping Patty in the face, so to speak, so the scene where she calls home, close to tears, was very powerful. Also powerful was the scene where Amber rushes into the hospital room where Rayanne is lying recovering -- her bubbly composure suddenly gone amidst a realization that she may have failed in her duty as a mother. My favorite of these, however, is the scene that I've quoted at the beginning of the summary, which neatly summarizes both Ricki and Rayanne as well as Patty and Angela, even though the relationships between these characters are as disparate as they can get. Under it all, whether we're talking about family or friends, we try to protect those that we love. Although we don't see much of Ricki this episode, we perhaps see the most of his character that the show has done to date -- essentially, this episode has defined his relationship with Rayanne. I'm wondering how much of his role as a protector figure in her life has to deal with her missing father. The father's part has only been hinted at in the last two episodes, but I can't help but think that it's a major bit of understanding her character. This episode was also rife with symbolism, for which the tarot deck was most appropriately used. I really did like the use of the card to represent both Angela and Patty, but even more than that I enjoyed the very subtle foreshadowing of Rayanne's incident by her admission that she had drawn Death before (in fact, I didn't even notice this until I was writing the summary). As far as I can tell (from my limited exposure to things occult), their usage of both tarot terminology and interpretation was correct. The major disappointment that I had with this episode was simply that Graham wound up being the comedy relief this time around the scene where he stares helplessly into the refrigerator was funny, but ever so slightly this side of ridiculous. Maybe he'll find a job next episode. B) Kevin J. Chen - kchen@cc.gatech.edu Dogbert's Plot Summary Rayanne discusses the contents of the Chase family refrigerator. Angela catches marshmallows (or something) in her mouth after tossing them in the air. It's a practiced skill. Rayanne takes a beer, then makes Rickie carry it 'cause her hands are full. Of course, Patty and Danielle wander in. Patty is unreasonable, so they all go over to Rayanne's house. Rayanne's mom finally gets to meet Angela. They end up sitting around with Rayanne's mom reading Tarot cards and drinking a margarita. Patty denies permission for Angela to eat dinner at Rayanne's house because her grandma is over. Patty is driven bonkers by her mom. "She's rearranging my candlesticks!" Graham gives her sage advice on how to handle her mom, but he refuses to go talk to her. He seems frightened. Rickie goes to answer the door when Patty Arrives at the residence of Amber (Rayanne's mom). Amber offers to read Tarot cards for Patty (or whatever that is termed). Amber is silly in general, and loans Angela a book and her Tarot deck as they're leaving. Amber seems a very huggy person. She hugs *everyone*. (commercials) Angela trys to read Tarot cards for Danielle. Danielle asks if grandma is going to drive everyone crazy like she did at thanksgiving. Graham and Patty discuss cooking chicken without the skin. Later, in the girls' room, Rickie goes back on his word not to hang out in the girls' room anymore. Rayanne is sorta lit. Sharon's hair is funky. Rayanne's purse disgorges several notes of large denomination. Eventually she decides on a party as a way to get rid of money. Patty and grandma discuss Graham's emotional reaction to food. Meanwhile, Rayanne makes plans for the party. I think we even get to see Tino, finally, enquiring about "pharmacutical supplies" for the party. Back at the Chase household, Graham stares brokenly at the refrigerator. Rayanne and Angela and Rickie and Amber set up for Rayanne's party to the accompaniment of Juliana Hatfield (from the Reality Bites soundtrack). Back at the Chase home, Danielle predicts the future as Patty polishes the silver and Graham still stares brokenly at the refrigerator. Amber advises Angela to try to help Patty with her karma. Unfortunately, the karma discussion doesn't go over well. And Patty's streamers won't stay up. (more commercials) (the 'don't go away' message in the middle of the commercials is sort of silly - claire and wilson trading off lines) The party at Rayanne's begins with "Let the games begin!" The party at the Chases' begins with Vivian arriving and announcing that Chuck isn't coming (Vivian and Chuck are Patty's parents). Graham is *not* pleased to have cooked a healthy meal for nothing. Assorted other Chase relatives arrive. At Rayanne's, things are wild and funky. Rickie has no idea who the people at the party are. Rayanne suspects that some of them aren't even from Pennysylvania. Vivian is not a very nice person. Angela decides she'd really rather go to Rayanne's. Patty doesn't take it well. Graham tells Vivian to stay away from the chicken curry. Angela is mystefied as to why she has to stay at a party without the guest of honor. Vivian trys to keep up, but Patty finally, at long last, tells her to butt out. Angela gets Patty to finally, at long last, admit that she doesn't like Rayanne. Angela switches parties. Rayanne greets Angela by falling over on top of her. She's sort of wasted. Then Amber comes home and is unpleased with the state of the party. She throws everyone out and bitches at Rayanne, who is seeming more and more mentally vaporized by the second. "Rayanne Marie" is to have the house cleaned up by the time Amber gets back, but about all she can manage is collapsing against Rickie. (still more commercials, damn it) Angela and Rickie carry Rayanne into a different room and try to wake her up. Rickie is very worried. Angela runs off saying "i know what to do." The phone rings at the Chase house. Vivian answers. Patty has to go help with Rayanne. They call an ambulance and get her to the hospital. Rickie and Patty have a small chat. Eventually Amber gets to the hospital and is extremely upset. The police want to talk to her. Patty invites Rickie to a "really dull party". Patty sends Rickie in ahead so she can talk to Angela. Seems in college Patty's roommate was very similar to Rayanne, and did a very similar thing to what Rayanne did, except she died, which is why Patty knew so much about what to do. Eventually, everyone makes it inside to the Chase party. Angela think-talks about Tarot cards, reading from the book, eventually ending up in her room, reading by moonlight. (last block of commercials - will they have previews?) (hell no. bastards. and they have to say "next... stay tuned for *Matlock*". yeah, right. i'm gonna go watch PBS =) ) end credits i bet rayanne doesn't do a lot of ecstasy real soon again, particularly in combination with alcohol - i understand that having your stomach pumped is a rather unpleasant experience. My favorite line from this episode: Danielle: "My life is so edited!" well, see y'all next week. if not sooner. by Dogbert aka dennis nedblake. My So-Called Life, Eps. 11 My So-Called Life Episode Guide The Life of Brian The morning glories aren't lined up. In my room, one seam's a little off, and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me. One... Two... Three... Speak! Finally, an erection from actual, physical contact. l'episode de dix novebre brian is in his room. his parents yell into his room while he watches angela with his telephoto lens. he longs for a 'normal' family - his parents "fundamentally disagree", being a psychologist and something else i didn't catch. in the meantime, danielle complains about child abuse as patty braids her hair. sharon attempts to set brian up with delia, the new student, for the 'world happiness' dance, meanwhile, angela, rayanne, and rickie discuss the implications of said dance - rayanne assures angela that jordan won't be there. brian disgusts himself. he vows never to show up at angela's door again with some lame excuse. so, of course, in the next scene, he arrives at the door, and gets to help graham hang up wallpaper. brian uses the wallpaper in analogy form, rather cleverly, to ask graham for advice about the angela / delia conflict. graham thinks "it depends how badly you need wallpaper" brian drops by the burger joint where delia works. he makes a mess of it, of course. what a surprise. he and delia meet outside. delia is glad he came. she offers him a drink of her coke. he accepts. a car alarm goes off in the background, "but suddenly, it was the best sound i'd ever heard" commercials 'n' stuff sharon asks kyle if he was going to ask her to the dance - ever subtle. he just hadn't gotten around to it. sharon bites his head off, because she's under a lot of pressure. brian's life "is so ridiculous". he tries to prompt himself to ask delia to the dance. he fails. he runs into rickie on the way to class. it seems neither of them are going to the dance. rayanne hasn't drunk or done drugs in ten days. "i'm so clean you could eat off me" rickie wants to go to the dance with the brother of a girl, so he considers asking the girl. hmmmm. patty and graham are still having problems with the wallpaper. angela wanders up to jordan. she begins a conversation, which jordan participates in with monosyllables. he didn't notice the dance. jordan explains his philosophy - if he goes somewhere and there's someone there he knows, that's cool, but if you make plans, then you have responsibilities, and that basically blows. angela respects that. but she forgot her geometry book in her locker and the conversation ends sort of ludicrously. delia and brian work on delia's biology stuff. delia flirts with him. "finally, an erection from actual physical contact" he says. or did i hear him wrong? angela wanders by and he looks at her longingly. more commercials again. brian is back to helping graham with the wallpaper, and analogies. graham finally calls him on the analogy bit. patty continues trying to talk him into cooking classes at the university. did i mention those earlier? brian, at school, is approached by delia. he eventually asks her. rickie doesn't think angela can understand his problem, of not being obsessed with someone he has zero chance of ever becoming involved with. they decide to go together, but then the guy who rickie is obsessed with has been invited by rayanne to go with the two of them. angela, who now has nobody to go with, babbles at brian and eventually gets a ride to the dance with him and delia. rickie is peeved at rayanne for setting him up. rayanne tries to use her drinking problem as a very lame excuse. the fact that she wasn't planning to go at all does not help matters. brian drops his date with delia, so he can go exclusively with angela. delia is rather upset by that. oh dear. bri's a lady-killer now. still more commercials patty tells graham he must look at a piece of paper. he looks. patty has enrolled him in cooking classes. graham is not happy. brian is at the door. the reactions are amusing. brian lies about why delia can't go. graham has wallpapered the bedroom very nicely. patty and graham laugh at angela and brian, knowing they will have a rotten time. graham agrees to go to the cooking classes. cut to the dance. rickie regales the guy with an amusing story. rayanne ends up not having told the guy like she claimed she was going to. rickie and the guy... hmmmm... they seem to get along. meanwhile, brian tries to start a conversation. he fails, but angela rescues him by sending him to get her something to drink. brian meets rickie at the punch bowl. they discuss hanging together, but brian thinks it would be better if they didn't. angela and brian discuss what happened. angela thinks brian is heartless. she leaves, then notices jordan and his friends are there, and gets that grin. brian tries to apologize to delia, but sharon takes her away, after a *choice* glare at brian, to meet cute guys. rickie is upset that he doesn't fit in. angela consoles him, and then jordan walks by. rickie sends her after him. brian appears at the door, sees him, and goes back inside. jordan starts to say something, but then takes off with his friends. while that damn song from that one mscl commercial plays (what *is* it?), rickie and delia dance together. rickie is rather good. so is delia. sharon looks happy. brian looks sad. angela is outside as the slow-dance music starts, with the typical couple making out outside the back door. she goes inside and approaches brian, who notices the scent of her hair, but little else. angela apologizes for ruining brian's evening, then asks him to dance. he refuses. so they stand there not dancing, together. fade to black plot summary by Dennis Nedblake - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu My So-Called Life, Episode 12 MSCL Episode Guide Self-Esteem Would it hurt you to admit it, or maybe treat her decent? 'cause she deserves it. and she's not gonna wait around for you forever. My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun Coral is far more red than her lips' red If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damasked, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound I grant I never saw a goddess go My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground. And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare. my so-called life - 11/17 i'm waaaaaaaaaiting, mr. television... opening credits. commercials school - angela ponders 'reserved places' at school. sharon has broken up with kyle. in the boiler room, there's a place that people go for only one reason. she arrives there to make out with jordan. huh. that was sudden. then, the teacher whose class she skipped sees her in the hall. hmmm. the new english teacher is introduced around. the female teachers think he's cute. hrm. looks sorta dorky to me. rickie is embarassed by the teacher. after class, rickie imitates the teacher for rayanne, who wasn't in class. unfortunately the teacher sneaks up behind them. the teacher asks rickie to join the drama club. rickie and rayanne discuss angela's little meetings with jordan. meanwhile, back at the chase household, patty comes home and wonders where angela is. eventually, angela comes in, smiling like a bizarre person. in fact, she's actually glowing. she hugs her parents and frightens them terribly. the next day at school, angela skips geometry again. jordan eventually has to leave, but he doesn't seem to want anyone to know that he's in the boiler room with angela. commercials. did you ever get the feeling you were being set up? i get this feeling a lot while i'm watching babylon 5, but this is the first time i've gotten it from mscl... it's like the producer is saying to us "just wait 'til you get to the end of *this* episode, chummer - you won't know what hit you" geometry. how 'bout dat? angela's life has become divided into "kissing and not kissing". angela attempts to be invisible, since she's skipped every review session. the teacher demands that angela attends the next review session. rayanne teases angela about her "used" lips. rayanne gives angela sage advice about the boiler room, and being controlled by catalono. patty's dad is snippy about graham's cooking classes. he thinks graham is "sponging off his wife". he is not diplomatic. graham is at class, chatting with a cute girl who looks somewhat younger than him. he just looks so shocked that she's talking to him. funky. she's just *so* hyper. graham returns to the chase home. the class was "strange", according to graham. patty bows to the pressure from her dad to bring up the subject of headhunters. after a while up in bed, graham tells her that stephen dieter was rushed to the hospital with food poisoning, "not from his own food". and the obnoxious lady helped the assistant reschedule the class. at school, angela meets jordan in the boiler room. angela at least makes an effort to go to geometry. they discuss a concert that jordan was talking to his friend about as he came in. they smooch. they seem to be doing that a lot this episode. more commercials where are they going with this episode? i am very confused. sharon asks rayanne if she's "ever been to a class". sharon consults rayanne on the jordan/angela situation. in the middle of their conversation. they gang up on her. rayanne compares angela's crush to her boozing problem. sharon claims that breaking up with kyle gives her a perfect right to screw up her midterms. rayanne considers it more of an obligation. the former english, and now geometry teacher hits on the new english teacher. hmmmmm. the english teacher is distracted by "enrique" (that's rickie) in the hallway. rickie clears it right up for the teacher that he's not interested in drama. the teacher won't take no for an answer. the geometry teacher made a fool of himself. brian and rickie have two separate conversations with each other. brian has been asked to help angela with her geometry. she really *is* heartless... graham is at cooking class again. the obnoxious lady is hitting on him again. she thinks stephen dieter is drunk. the food is not good. hmmmmmm. graham and patty get in a lil' squabble about whether graham has more of a problem understanding the teacher than others in the class. angela and sharon arrive at the buffalo tom concert. brian learns from danielle that angela isn't there. angela and sharon meet rayanne. rayanne and sharon gang up on angela again, propelling her over to talk to jordan, who is playing pool. he complains that she is crowding him (she isn't, but that's probably beside the point). angela gets all upset and leaves. sharon chases her. rayanne takes up her point with catalono. "would it hurt you to admit it, or maybe treat her decent? 'cause she deserves it. and she's not gonna wait around for you forever." then she leaves. jordan's friend now thinks they're both (rayanne and angela) wierd, not just angela. more commercials oh. so *that's* where they're going with this episode. angela doesn't like sunday night very much. graham and miss obnoxious are at class again. she wants to know about risotto. patty wonders if angela feels ready to take her geometry midterm. she thinks that she'll possibly discuss it with brian. brian blows up, berating angela for her lack of reality, which she agrees with. he leaves. he finally shows some backbone! graham arrives home. stephen dieter is in rehab. he surprises patty with the news that they want him to teach the class. patty sounds surprised. graham *looks* surprised. angela is upset with herself for going to meet jordan in that crazy old boiler room. they kiss. the question that puzzled us all from the end of last episode is reversed. angela tells jordan to admit that he has emotions, and that he's being a twit. and then she makes a rather unkind crack about "i spell my name with one 'l'" and then she leaves. the english teacher reads a sonnet to the class. he asks for discussion. brian answers rhetorical questions. then - surprise of surprises - jordan pipes up, but is cut off by brian before he can say something deep. angela resorts to prayer in the hopes that she might pass geometry. why is she studying in the bathroom? she chats with a girl in her geometry class, who ends up explaining geometry to her. then sharon bursts in, and tells them tht the copier ate the geometry midterm, so they don't have to take it until tomorrow. the english teacher *reeeeeeally* wants rickie to join the drama club. he gives the lecture about "fulfilling your potential" rickie breaks down and signs up. rayanne notices "enrique vasquez" and giggles as she passes by. brian looks longingly at angela. then *jordan* looks longingly at angela, then he give his friend (who looks like dean ween) this look like "*don't* say anything to me". and then jordan goes over to angela and asks her to "go somewhere." and then, as they walk off down the hall together, he holds her hand, and she starts to glow, completely forgetting the last geometry review, although sharon tries to remind her, sort of halfheartedly. fade to black. Plot summary by the unparalleled dogbert - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu Analysis by H. A. Paulsen paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu SUNY@Buffalo English Dept. dogbert says: people go for only one reason. she arrives there to make out with jordan. huh. that was sudden. then, the teacher whose yes, it was kind of sudden. I was a little disappointed at first. I mean, the reason I'm enjoying Angela and Jordan so much is that their whole thing has been happening in real time (as opposed to tv time). The slow build-up is what makes it, and this just came from out of nowhere. When did it all happen? How did it happen? I feel like I missed something. As the show progressed, i began to realize that it works for this particular plot...but I still wish that there had been more development. boiler room, and being controlled by catalano. patty's dad is snippy about graham's cooking classes. he thinks graham is "sponging off his wife". he is not diplomatic. Patty's dad also says something to the effect that she "deserves better", which seems to be one of the themes tonight--you will hear this phrase two more times (I think) sharon asks rayanne if she's "ever been to a class". I thought this was pretty funny. Haven't we bounced this around here? the former english, and now geometry teacher hits on the new english teacher. hmmmmm. the english teacher is distracted by "enrique" (that's rickie) in the hallway. rickie clears it right up for the teacher that he's not interested in drama. the teacher won't take no for an answer. the geometry teacher made a fool of himself. At first I was struck by how forgetful this guy is. Then I started thinking that they might be setting him up as a gay role model for Ricki. Not that being forgetful has anything to do with being gay, but he used it to get away from the geom teacher who was hitting on him, and to repeat his bugging of Ricki. meet rayanne. rayanne and sharon gang up on angela again, propelling her over to talk to jordan, who is playing pool. he complains that she is crowding him (she isn't, but that's probably beside the point). angela gets all upset and leaves. sharon chases her. Claire Danes is so amazing. Did you see her facial contortions during this scene? The pain, man. The pain. rayanne takes up her point with catalano. "would it hurt you to admit it, or maybe treat her decent? 'cause she deserves it. and she's not gonna wait around for you forever." then she leaves. Rayanne actually asks him if it would hurt to admit that he likes Angela, which I thought was really great. She just cuts right through everything...really puts him on the spot. And then she says Angela deserves more, which is tonight's theme. This scene was so great. jordan's friend now thinks they're both (rayanne and angela) wierd, not just angela. Jordan's friend (who is played by one Shannon Leto...Jared's brother? I first noticed that "Shane" was played by a Leto in the "Red" episode. I've been following this ever since, but it's hard because besides Tino [who doesn't exist], Jordan's friends don't get named. But this guy is his constant companion and was first featured in the "Red" episode so he must be "Shane") called Angela "the weird chick who hangs out with Rayanne" or something like that. Gives a little bit of a glance inside Jordan's head, no? He's obviously influenced by his friends in a big way. angela is upset with herself for going to meet jordan in that crazy old boiler room. they kiss. the question that puzzled us all from the end of last episode is reversed. angela tells jordan to admit that he has emotions, and that he's being a twit. and then she makes a rather unkind crack about "i spell my name with one 'l'" and then she leaves. Wow. I was so happy when she pushed him away. When they first started kissing, I swear i said out loud: "don't let him do that!" Which is really ironic, as I've been waiting for this moment for so long. But that shows you how good the whole thing was... The way Angela and Jordan's "why are you like this? like what? like how you are?" questions were reversed was superb. Notice Jordan didn't say "How am I?" I guess it was pretty obvious what the problem was. The spelling correction was so perfect. Really mean, but just right. the english teacher reads a sonnet to the class. he asks for discussion. This too, was so perfect. When I realized which sonnet it was, it just all hit me--WHAM!! That's what this has *all* been about. Notice, you got Brian and Jordan together again. I really think it's important to use Brian's verbalizations to understand Jordan's thought process. They are somehow doubles of each other. It was just unbelievably perfect for Jordan to respond the way he did. Teacher: does he love her anyway (ie, even though she has flaws) Jordan: yes...he does. I was, like, drooling. And I was dying that Angela wasn't there. the english teacher *reeeeeeally* wants rickie to join the drama club. he gives the lecture about "fulfilling your potential" rickie breaks down and signs up. rayanne notices "enrique vasquez" and giggles as she passes by. the teacher also said something about not hating who you are. I bet he's gonna turn out to be gay and has already picked up on "who Ricki is". brian looks longingly at angela. then *jordan* looks longingly at angela, then he give his friend (who looks like dean ween) this look like "*don't* say anything to me". His friend then gives him a nod and basically the okay to go for Angela. and then jordan goes over to angela and asks her to "go somewhere." and then, as they walk off down the hall together, he holds her hand, and she starts to glow, And Jordan is REDEEMED. I really did not want to hate Jordan. It could not have been a more perfect ending. The way he took her hand was perfect. Ironic note: In the bathroom when Rayanne and Sharon ganged up on Angela, Angela made the point that she thought Sharon and Kyle's public hand-holding was gross. "Like, what is a hand anyway?" This was in defense of Jordan's not wanting to go public with her. I thought this was a great twist. I just thought of when the other mention of deserving better occured. The "obnoxious" woman in Graham's class said it. Graham, Patty and Angela all deserve better. Hmmmmm... now wait... what are they gonna do *next* week?????? =) Remember, no next week!! Thanks to Heidi and Dennis. My So-Called Life: E13 MSCL Episode Guide Pressure They obviously haven't um'ed yet It's sort of like when you were letting me drive your car. And I loved it - it made me feel really powerful - but itit also really terrified me, like I wasn't ready for that much freedom. People always say how you should be yourself. Like 'yourself' is this definied thing, like a toaster...or something. Like you can know what it is even. But every so often I'll have like a moment when just being myself in my life right where I am is enough. here we go. jordan attempts to teach angela to drive. she hits the wall. he kisses her anyway. then he tries to seduce her. they discuss possible locations. angela, once again, has to go to geometry. rayanne and rickie discuss cynthia hargrove's nose ring. apparently she is an old er... bed partner of jordan. angela thinks about sex. patty denies she's sick, having just gotten her flu shot. the family discusses stuff at the table. danielle vies with angela and jordan (even though jordan isn't there) for attention she doesn't want a flu shot. she loses out. later, as angela fixes a late supper, jordan appears at the back door. she considers that she's probably dreaming. jordan didn't notice that angela was joking when she said she wanted to "do it" in her room while her parents were sleeping. it seems that tino has found a way into a vacant house that's been for sale "forever". jordan asks if she wants to go there on friday night. patty approaches down the stairs, having predicted that angela would be hungry. she tells angela not to leave a mess, and that they still want to meet jordan sometime. she never realizes that he's in the kitchen, listening to her. she goes back upstairs, and angela rejoins jordan in the kitchen. he mocks her playfully and asks her again if she wants to go to the vacant house. she avioids answering and they kiss goodnight. (commercials, commercials, commercials) sharon returns that crazy chafing dish again. angela is waiting to go get a flu shot. they discuss why sharon and kyle broke up. at first angela thinks it's because sharon didn't want to have sex, but that's not it - they "had sex constantly". she just thought he was a butthead. angela discusses the prospect in *very* obtuse terms of sex. graham fixes dinner, and has to pause it sort of, 'cause patty's going to be late. the girl from his cooking class and her fiancee discuss opening a restauraunt with graham. the doorbell rings. graham thinks it's patty. it's jordan. there is a very odd exchange. jordan almost blows it. jordan doesn't know if he has a major. he probably doesn't. angela summons her dad into private. angela doesn't seem sure if she wants to go with him or not, and she's hoping to trick her dad into saying they can't go. he doesn't. so off they go to the abandoned house, where a party is in progress. through the back window. angela looks veeeeeerrrry unsure of herself. it doesn't help that cynthia is there, looking all cool. as it turns out, there are no empty rooms at the moment. so they wait, sitting on opposite sides of the fireplace. she thinks to herself that the experience is exactly like waiting to get her flu shot. rayanne is there briefly, and then leaves. angela really doesn't seem to want to go upstairs with him. she makes up a really transparent story about being worried about rayanne, and then she leaves, looking back to see jordan turn away with a vaguely annoyed look. (commercials, part 2) (i wonder what everyone else was yelling at her - i imagine everyone was either yelling either DON'T GO! or YAAAAYYY!) patty arrives at home. she meets the student and the fiancee. she and patty seem to quite hit it off. patty is annoyed that she missed jordan. the student thinks he was gorgeous. she describes him, specifically as "way too gorgeous". graham and patty discuss the student, and the restauraunt. sharon and rayanne discuss angela's difficulty with last night. rayanne messes with some girls' minds. sharon and angela discuss sex, and a video that sharon has. it is awkward. sharon is militantly in favor of condom use. angela waffles over whether or not she wants to continue the discussion. it continues. it's a very cute moment. sharon ends up telling her that she should talk to jordan about it. but then graham comes in and is mystefied why they are so jumpy and giggly. brian drives his bike in circles, and sees sharon and angela. sharon leaves. angela starts to ask him for his bike, but then stops, but he gives it to her anyway. graham finds the tape that sharon and angela were watching. he thinks it's patty's. they argue about the restauraunt. angela arrives at jordan's house. jordan sees through her pathetic lies (they really are, too). he is very upset that she lied to him. she is upset because he says something about "this is why i didn't want to start this", to which she responds "why? because you wouldn't get sex?" jordan thinks it's abnormal of her not to want to fuck him (or at least want to fuck in general) (although he's more polite about it), and, after one of those looks that they both do so well, she walks away without a word. (commercials, part 3) angela finds the tape in the vcr, just as graham walks in. "i don't want to talk about it". brian is inflicted with angela's backpack by the bus driver. he and rickie watch the tape after it falls out. rickie counsels angela about how it's probably not such a bad thing that she didn't sleep with jordan. he is very eloquent. then that girl from the beginning with the nose ring arrives out of one of the stalls and compliments rickie on his insight, then asks angela a really deep question. for a minute there, she looked a lot like juliana hatfield, but she isn't. patty feeds the chases' invisible cat. the begin arguing about the restauraunt from the opposite sides this time. then end up discussing elements of the sex tape. then they end up on the couch making out, deliberating about whether to answer the phone. they end up not doing it (answering the phone). there they go kissing again. they discuss what they should be doing instead of cuddling on the couch. graham falls asleep. patty takes off. there's a knock at the door. it's brian, returning her backpack. he yells at her, and then is surprised that she doesn't yell back. she ends up talking to him about boys like he's not a boy. graham listens from the couch. brian and angela have an actual nice chat where they don't insult one another. about sex, no less. jordan arrives in front of the chase house, with brian's bike in his trunk. brian and jordan discuss the bike and it's ownership. jordan goes up to the house to talk to angela. she is wierdly philosphical. jordan tells her he won't hold it against her. then she starts talking at full speed, until he just can't take it anymore. but then he offers her some advice on her driving that is strangely touching, and she starts crying as they say goodbye. then they kiss goodbye. that was a very odd way to break up. graham is still sitting on the couch listening. angela rides down the street on brian's bike, thinking. then she takes her hands off the handlebars and raises them to the sky, then the screen fades to black and then to... (commercials, for "Liz Taylor's White Diamonds" and little caesar's, and sinutab, and "coach" (shoot me!)) end credits well, that's all for this week. hope you enjoyed it as much as i did. By none other than our official MSCL plot review/critic xherspoon.umkc.edu/~dogbert/homey.htmldogbert - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu. Commentary and Analysis I thought this show was GREAT. Meg says she thought it was depressing, but I thought the ending was really like a new beginning for Angela and Jordan. I was really struck by the contrast between Angela and that ditsy chick that Jordan had been "errring" with previously. (to err is human....). Cynthia is just a shell. Angela is a real person. This means something. Jordan is evolving (away from being just a shell) He's 17 and he's growing up. But I'll get to this later. This episode felt really different to me. The parents didn't annoy me so much, and it just felt...deeper, somehow. And did anyone else notice that Jared Leto's name was in the regular credits instead of coming after like it always used to? I'm not 100% sure, but I think this was the first time. dogbert says (in a very encoded way that I had to jump through many hoops to be able to quote in my reply): jordan attempts to teach angela to drive. she hits the wall. he kisses her anyway. Jordan lets Angela drive his car!! (Red in red). This thing is his baby. It's his shelter from the storm, the place to keep him warm.... It felt strange to see them there together talking. I think we saw them talking together more in this first scene than in all the previous episodes put together. Wow. I thought her comment about getting obsessed with looking in the rear-view mirror was kind of funny. Was this a comment on how pretty Jordan is? angela thinks about sex. Angela imagines that *everyone* around her is having sex. I remember having a pregnant teacher in 2nd grade. I was amazed at the idea that SHE had had sex. Angela's thoughts made me think of this. the family discusses stuff at the table. One funny thing that Patty says is: "we're not running a restaurant." Ironic, due to what comes later. It was also funny the way she compared Angela to Princess Di when she comes down looking for food later. I didn't quite get it, but any reference to Di is funny. later, as angela fixes a late supper, jordan appears at the back door. she considers that she's probably dreaming. "It's a dream. I'm having a dream. I've *had* dreams this dream. Only without the coldcuts." Jordan only eats cheese. Think he's a veggie?? it seems that tino has found a way into a vacant house that's been for sale "forever". jordan asks if she wants to go there on friday night. Angela: Like breaking and entering? Jordan: Just....entering. I was rolling on the floor!!! That magical pause just made that moment. patty approaches down the stairs, having predicted that angela would be hungry. she tells angela not to leave a mess, and that they still want to meet jordan sometime. she never realizes that he's in the kitchen, listening to her. she goes back upstairs, and angela rejoins jordan in the kitchen. he mocks her playfully What a perfect moment!! This sort of complexity is what makes this show so great. The dynamic of Angela standing there with her mom, and Jordan in the background was amazingly intense. How embarassing for her mom to bring Jordan up when he is standing right there. But Jordan and Angela still don't communicate, and this illustrates that they need others to do it for them. Jordan: So you like me? I mean, your mother says you like me. Is this Jordan? He's not like we've seen him before. He's becoming a full character. And wasn't it weird having him in Angela's house? He hasn't had a "space" before. I like what they are doing with him. sharon returns that crazy chafing dish again. angela is waiting to go get a flu shot. they discuss why sharon and kyle broke up. at first angela thinks it's because sharon didn't want to have sex, but that's not it - they "had sex constantly". she just thought he was a butthead. angela discusses the prospect in *very* obtuse terms of sex. Did anyone else notice all the fake autumny tree branches stuck in all over the place? (Of course it's necessary when you are filming in the land of eternal summer....)It was sooo obvious in this scene. the doorbell rings. graham thinks it's patty. it's jordan. there is a very odd exchange. Graham seemed to be recognizing Jordan as the kid who can't read from the substitute episode. How hilarious when Graham rubs the back of his head and Jordan does it exactly the same way. jordan almost blows it. jordan doesn't know if he has a major. he probably doesn't. Again, how strange to have Jordan in Angela's house. He looked so uncomfortable. I felt really sorry for him. I was struck by how similarly Jordan and Angela speak and gesticulate and just express themselves in general. as it turns out, there are no empty rooms at the moment. so they wait, sitting on opposite sides of the fireplace. she thinks to herself that the experience is exactly like waiting to get her flu shot. They are totally NOT talking to each other or interacting in any way like a couple. I am SO glad that she decided not to sleep with him. It would have been so ridiculous. patty arrives at home. she meets the student and the fiancee. she and patty seem to quite hit it off. patty is annoyed that she missed jordan. the student thinks he was gorgeous. she describes him, specifically as "way too gorgeous". I found it interesting that Patty liked this woman. I can't wait to see what they do with this. And the way Graham's student made fun of Patty's anal retentiveness..."we left like 800 dishes and even got some dirty just to mess with you". It was pretty interesting. I actually liked Patty and Graham a lot more this episode. I'm not sure why, but they seemed more realistic. Why can't I remember the student's name (Penny, Polly??? Something that sounds like Patty.) I loved her description of Jordan, and just the fact that they were discussing him like that. I'm trying to decide what significance the fact that Patty did not get to meet Jordan has. She only meets him through words about him. Does anyone else have any ideas abou this? And specifically what the student said about Jordan was that he seems "out there", but not unintelligent. A nice guy. Or something like that. This is exactly what I think we are supposed to think about Jordan. This may be why Patty only gets a description of Jordan. She would never have been able to discern these things. The student is much more open to reading Jordan than Patty ever could have been. sharon and angela discuss sex, and a video that sharon has. it is awkward. sharon is militantly in favor of condom use. angela waffles over whether or not she wants to continue the discussion. it continues. it's a very cute moment. Ilove what Sharon has to say about having sex. Like once she and Kyle did it, it wasn't the same anymore. You can't go back. All that stuff. I was very impressed with this moment. And Angela's thought about girls who have had sex and girls who haven't being on other sides of an imaginary line: wow!! So true. I also like seeing Angela and Sharon together. I liked them and Rayanne together (at Buffalo Tom) in the last episode. The three of them balance each other out somehow. sharon ends up telling her that she should talk to jordan about it. Which is, like, the best advice ever. brian drives his bike in circles, and sees sharon and angela. sharon leaves. angela starts to ask him for his bike, but then stops, but he gives it to her anyway. She really communicates with Brian here and is very self aware in this moment. She is being very honest about how she uses him. It's interseting that she has suddenly become very communicative with Brian in this scene and the one that comes near the end, when she can't seem to talk to Jordan at all. But I still think that Brian and Jordan are doubles of each other and that talking to Brian is like a first step. angela arrives at jordan's house. Wow!! Jordan actually has a house. I was just talking to someone about how we don't know anything about Jordan's family. It's such a change, the way they've given him a space. He is slowly evolving into a real person/character and not just the *object* of Angela's crush. he is very upset that she lied to him. Jordan: You can think what you want about me. I never lie. I mean, I let you drive my car. He is a nice guy. He's just a 17 year old kid. I know he ends up saying something nasty to Angela about having sex being the accepted/normal thing to do, but he's trying to get a little dig in (just like Angela did with the "I spell my name with one L" comment) and he regrets it right away. He's used to girls who will have sex with no problem. He's used to the Cynthia type. The point is that he is changing. Under Angela's influence, he will grow up. They both will. (What was it Graham's student said about Jordan being the type you want to help? Angela obviously feels this way too.) He likes Angela, and she is not a bimbo-shell. She is *real*. angela finds the tape in the vcr, just as graham walks in. "i don't want to talk about it". Another perfect moment. brian is inflicted with angela's backpack by the bus driver. he and rickie watch the tape after it falls out. Brian: My parents have a vibrator. It sounds like a lawnmower. Heeheeheeheehee. I can't believe some of the lines this show pulls. rickie counsels angela about how it's probably not such a bad thing that she didn't sleep with jordan. he is very eloquent. then that girl from the beginning with the nose ring arrives out of one of the stalls and compliments rickie on his insight, then asks angela a really deep question. Like: "Didn't you used to work at Hamburger Bob's." BIMBO!!!!! Just the fact that Jordan goes from a shell like her to someone like Angela says so much about who he is becoming. Contrast what Rickie had to say about how sex should be to what Sharon described. Angela made the right choice. I really respect this show for doing this. couch. graham falls asleep. patty takes off. there's a knock at the door. it's brian, returning her backpack. he yells at her, and then is surprised that she doesn't yell back. "Dont' just take it, yell back." she ends up talking to him about boys like he's not a boy. Again, I am amazed at how Angela is suddenly communicating with Brian. But she's saying things to him that she should be saying to Jordan. graham listens from the couch. How perfect his reactions, and just the fact that he is there, is. jordan arrives in front of the chase house, with brian's bike in his trunk. The thing with Patty staring at Jordan was great. She finally sees him, but still has not talked to him. It's almost like she's getting to know him by the same process Angela did. Maybe it's the key to making her like him I lost the rest of dogberts comments, so I'll say this: I loved the way Graham overheard everything. Interesting contrast to the dynamic of Patty, Angela, Jordan when Patty almost walked in on Angela and Jordan the first time he was in their house. I think that Angela and Jordan are not over. As I said before, I think they are just beginning. If they had had sex, that would have probably led to the end of their relationship. The fact that they didn't could probably lead to something very strong. They've really got to get to know each other first. I think Angela realized this, and Jordan may be beginning to. I think Jordan's comment about "not making your turns too wide" was important because of the way he finished it with "but I don't think you will." He really repects her. And the thing about comparing driving to having sex ("you got some driving practic"...heeheehee) and having too much freedom and not being in control was very poignant. If she can only communicate this honestly with Jordan all the time, I think it will rub off on him and the two of them will be amazing. Meg says: OK - enough of the depressing parts. At first when the sex tape started, I started to pause my VCR because I thought it was a commericial. Then I thought, that they really do gear the commericials towards the topic of the show. (did you notice on the show when Angela was worried about her face breaking out all of the clearasil and other acne medicine ads that were on?) I finally decided this was a little too wierd to be a commercial. Oh me too. I was wondering what was going on and then convinced myself not to stop recording because it must be part of the show. I wonder who that was playing the doctor/narrator of the tape. Does anyone know what Winnie H. looks like? And did you notice that the couple was kneading bread? I knew there was a reason I've been getting so into making bread lately. Wow, that took forever. Was this episode worth the weight, or what? By the Jared Leto infatuated heidi-Ho - paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ H. A. Paulsen paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu SUNY@Buffalo English Dept. ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ I'm a little sleepy, but I feel the need to get some thoughts down on the show. This was a very sneaky episode, not as spectacular as some in the past, but quietly intense and sad. 1. Patty and Jordan share an interesting parallel. They're both dogmatic, full of rules. Jordan has to have a girlfriend he can fuck-- that's just the way it is. Anything else is "abnormal." Patty's got all her little bylaws, too. But, as we saw at the end of the show, Jordan feels *something* for Angela that doesn't fit in with his normal game plan. And Patty has flipflopped numerous times on Graham's search for self-fulfillment. Patty and Jordan are both conventional and need to be changed by unconventional Graham and Angela. 2. I *love* the way Sharon is more "mature" than Angela. It was cool the way she was so blase about sex, the fact that she dumped Kyle for being a butthead, not over a sexual issue. But it was mega-cool the way Sharon and Angela related watching the sex tape, so giggly and girlish and intimate and familial. They are such old friends. (It's one of those ideals to have your really old friends remain your friends for life.) Sharon holds nothing back from Angela. She deeply loves Angela and wouldn't allow anyone or anything to hurt her. She appreciates Angela's vulnerability and doesn't mock it the way Rayanne sometimes does. She gives Angela all the wisdom of her experience in this episode. 3. When a man lets a woman drive is car, he is being intimate with her. It's very close to sex. I know this from experience. When your girlfriend drives your car, she is fondling inanimate extensions of your body. The wheel, the shift, the gas, the brake, the engine all become surrogates for human body parts. (This is my J. G. Ballard-ian analysis of " MSCL.") She's taking control of something you normally have complete control over. Transfer of control is very sexual. Angela starts by driving Jordan's car and ends by riding Brian's bike. (As Heidi-Ho often points out so insightfully, Jordan and Brian are parallel characters. They are here again, and so are their modes of transit.) One's a symbol of adulthood, the other of childhood. One is powered by gasoline, the other by human muscle. In this episode, the car symbolizes something Angela is not ready to control. The bike she can ride with no hands. She feels free on the bike. For now, it's the right speed for her. 4. A wonderful line from Jordan: "I won't hold it against you *if your name ever comes up*." Jordan is defined by other people. Jordan's loves are defined by other people. Jordan's quest is to transcend that as much as it is to learn how to read. Jordan and Angela have reached another milestone in their relationship. She's not giving him the instant gratification that he's used to. But he's making her confront some of her dreamiest fantasies. I think there's a future in their coupledom because each one challenges, excites, and, most of all, sensitizes the other. 5. Virginity is an issue for Graham, too. Patty is his mother in a way. She tells him what to do, he needs her permission. Now he has a couple of people who want to go into business with him, who want to get "into bed" with him. He has to determine the nature of their interest. Is he being used, like the girls in the abandoned house? Or do these people want to work with him for who he is and what he can do? He has to suss this out. At the same time, Patty's approval and the motives behind it are a big issue. They are tied up in his perception of her belief in him as a real grown-up. Right now, he needs more from her than a quick afternoon toss on the couch. (Again, Patty here plays Jordan to Graham's Angela.) That's it for now. Stuart - StuRock@aol.com. jordan attempts to teach angela to drive. she hits the wall. he kisses her anyway. then he tries to seduce her. they discuss possible locations. angela, once again, has to go to geometry. rayanne and rickie discuss cynthia hargrove's nose ring. apparently she is an old er... bed partner of jordan. angela thinks about sex. patty denies she's sick, having just gotten her flu shot. the family discusses stuff at the table. danielle vies with angela and jordan (even though jordan isn't there) for attention she doesn't want a flu shot. she loses out. The more I think about this, the sadder it makes me that Danielle is such a plot device and doesn't get the full respect that she deserves from the writers (the Hallowe'en episode really proved what she can do, if only they'll let her do it). In particular, it seems that she's limited in capacity to comic relief and incidentally mentioning items of possible plot interest. Patty and Graham *completely* ignored her in this scene how can they raise a child like this? (besides, isn't the traditional pattern that the second child gets all the attention and the first is ignored?) Even though it wouldn't have been at all relevant to the plot, I would have loved to see the remainder of the conversation after Danielle says, "Are you talking about foreplay?" (I wonder if Danielle just heard the term, or if she's, like, prodigally gifted way beyond her years). later, as angela fixes a late supper, jordan appears at the back door. she considers that she's probably dreaming. jordan didn't notice that angela was joking when she said she wanted to "do it" in her room while her parents were sleeping. it seems that tino has found a way into a vacant house that's been for sale "forever". jordan asks if she wants to go there on friday night. patty approaches down the stairs, having predicted that angela would be hungry. she tells angela not to leave a mess, and that they still want to meet jordan sometime. she never realizes that he's in the kitchen, listening to her. she goes back upstairs, and angela rejoins jordan in the kitchen. he mocks her playfully and asks her again if she wants to go to the vacant house. she avioids answering and they kiss goodnight. All right. I'm still stuck on deciding whether Jordan is brooding, intelligent, yet unexpressive or a complete dumbfuck. The fact that he's showing up here is really tipping scales in balance of the latter. First of all, Jordan's trying to get laid with all the subtlety of a four-year old ("Can we have sex now? Huh? Can we? C'mon..."). Second, did he *really* take her seriously when she said she wanted to do it in her room with her parents around? (I suppose it's just possible that he knew this was sarcasm, and just wanted to see if she'd do it, anyway). In either case, he certainly has none of the social skills of someone who runs with the teenage cool elite, unless he somehow subscribes to the Calvin notion of cool (which is basically that you stand around quietly, because everything bores you when you're cool). sharon returns that crazy chafing dish again. angela is waiting to go get a flu shot. they discuss why sharon and kyle broke up. at first angela thinks it's because sharon didn't want to have sex, but that's not it - they "had sex constantly". she just thought he was a butthead. angela discusses the prospect in *very* obtuse terms of sex. Snicker. I taped this episode this time around, so when I was watching it, I heard Sharon say "chafing dish" and had to rewind to make sure that I'd heard it right. They keep passing this thing around! I'm sure Brian's been by to borrow or return this thing to the chases at least a couple of other times -- of course, we all know he has ulterior motives for doing it... (There's eventually going to be this huge subculture of MSCL references that will immobilize die-hards with laughter while keeping others absolutely bemused: "Chafing dish! Tino! The Chase family cat!") Again, the writers have touched greatness here -- I think this a well-done, absolutely frank look at sex, done with a variety of interactions. Angela's fumbling attempt to ask the doctor about sex was better than most ("I'm doing this project..." instead of "I have this friend who..."), and it was nice that the doctor saw right through the hedging and brought the subject out into the open (which IMO doctors ought to do). "We're not really talking about wallpaper here, are we?" I'm glad that characters here are pristine -- Sharon's had sex "lots of times" -- as opposed to all of the characters saying "of course I haven't had sex! That would be immoral!" in one of those cloying family values sorts of shows, yet nor is it at the other end of the spectrum, urging all of the characters to run around satisfying their hormonal urges (like our favorite comparison yardstick, 90210). The scene between Angela and Sharon watching the tape was pure emotion -- frank honesty between two friends (and yes, they're definitely friends). Sharon's honesty was remarkable ("You have this tendency -- to shut people out"), but I suspect that her recent breakup with Kyle has given her considerable insight into the reasons for the failing of a relationship, and she just wants Angela to avoid that pain. graham fixes dinner, and has to pause it sort of, 'cause patty's going to be late. the girl from his cooking class and her fiancee discuss opening a restauraunt with graham. the doorbell rings. graham thinks it's patty. it's jordan. there is a very odd exchange. jordan almost blows it. jordan doesn't know if he has a major. he probably doesn't. angela summons her dad into private. angela doesn't seem sure if she wants to go with him or not, and she's hoping to trick her dad into saying they can't go. he doesn't. so off they go to the abandoned house, where a party is in progress. through the back window. angela looks veeeeeerrrry unsure of herself. it doesn't help that cynthia is there, looking all cool. as it turns out, there are no empty rooms at the moment. so they wait, sitting on opposite sides of the fireplace. she thinks to herself that the experience is exactly like waiting to get her flu shot. rayanne is there briefly, and then leaves. angela really doesn't seem to want to go upstairs with him. she makes up a really transparent story about being worried about rayanne, and then she leaves, looking back to see jordan turn away with a vaguely annoyed look. I was trying very hard to read Graham in these scenes, because I was wondering if he'd recognize Jordan as the "illiterate boy". I'm not entirely sure that he did -- mostly, he just seemed interested in "that boy that Angela's interested in". I enjoyed the scene where Angela tries to get Graham to insist that she stay at home compare this to the time when she wanted to go to Rayanne's party. I think Graham honestly thought he was helping her out by letting her go off with Jordan -- and you know, that's a *brilliant* characterization of Graham. patty arrives at home. she meets the student and the fiancee. she and patty seem to quite hit it off. patty is annoyed that she missed jordan. the student thinks he was gorgeous. she describes him, specifically as "way too gorgeous". Miss Hyper (who has a name by now -- unfortunately, I still haven't managed to catch it) is starting to grow on me. It's curious that Patty seems to like her, when she was incredibly jealous of Amber Graff. sharon and angela discuss sex, and a video that sharon has. it is awkward. sharon is militantly in favor of condom use. angela waffles over whether or not she wants to continue the discussion. it continues. it's a very cute moment. sharon ends up telling her that she should talk to jordan about it. but then graham comes in and is mystefied why they are so jumpy and giggly. brian drives his bike in circles, and sees sharon and angela. sharon leaves. angela starts to ask him for his bike, but then stops, but he gives it to her anyway. So -- was Angela really genuinely penitant for having (ab)used Brian so much in the past, or was this just reverse psychology? We all *know* that he was going to give the bike to her, anyway. graham finds the tape that sharon and angela were watching. he thinks it's patty's. they argue about the restauraunt. I'm surprised that no one was worried about this. "If it's not yours, and it's not mine, then by process of eliminations we're left with..." I'm particularly surprised that Patty, who hit the roof the last time she thought Angela was having sex with Jordan Catalano didn't seem fazed by this here. It could be that she trusts Angela now, but I don't think *any* parent could make such a radical reversal of position. They probably just didn't have the time for another big confrontation, which is fine given the rest of the episode, but IMO it's a character lapse. angela arrives at jordan's house. jordan sees through her pathetic lies (they really are, too). he is very upset that she lied to him. she is upset because he says something about "this is why i didn't want to start this", to which she responds "why? because you wouldn't get sex?" jordan thinks it's abnormal of her not to want to fuck him (or at least want to fuck in general) (although he's more polite about it), and, after one of those looks that they both do so well, she walks away without a word. Jordan in a uniform! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The "nice, yet unexpressive guy" theory is losing out big time. I mean, I can see how he might expect sex from anyone he dates, but it also ought to be clear to anyone with half a brain that Angela's lying to avoid having sex for *some* reason, and pushing her repeatedly just goes to show that he didn't learn the "respect her or lose her" lesson that we saw in the last episode. The two nearly successive lines "Sex is expected" and "...unless you're abnormal, or something" were painful to listen to -- not simply because they were just blunt as hell, but also because they sounded so obviously stilted -- in an episode crafted around the subtleties about why teenagers have (or don't have) sex, this was like a sledgehammer swatting a fly. angela finds the tape in the vcr, just as graham walks in. "i don't want to talk about it". Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I thought Angela shoving the tape into her bag and then droppling it and finally fumbling after it was just too funny. Of course, I'm concerned that Graham didn't seem particularly concerned here -- again, it looks like they're sacrificing some realism in favor of humor value. I'm willing to overlook it, as long as they don't get to doing this too often. brian is inflicted with angela's backpack by the bus driver. he and rickie watch the tape after it falls out. It didn't actually fall out, did it? The fact that Rickie and Brian were watching the tape *together* leads me to believe that they are closer friends that we may have expected (no, I am *not* suggesting a homosexual relationship here), although I suppose it's possible that Rickie was just going along to look after Angela's interests (but I don't think that's the case). Rickie and Brian both watch the scene from the same angle -- I wonder what they were looking at? B) rickie counsels angela about how it's probably not such a bad thing that she didn't sleep with jordan. he is very eloquent. then that girl from the beginning with the nose ring arrives out of one of the stalls and compliments rickie on his insight, then asks angela a really deep question. for a minute there, she looked a lot like juliana hatfield, but she isn't. Again, there was a lot of emotion in this scene. Rickie is *so* wise, but it's sad to know that the knowledge that he's gleaned is through personal experience. He's got friends, but at the same time he's so alone. patty feeds the chases' invisible cat. the begin arguing about the restauraunt from the opposite sides this time. then end up discussing elements of the sex tape. then they end up on the couch making out, deliberating about whether to answer the phone. they end up not doing it (answering the phone). there they go kissing again. they discuss what they should be doing instead of cuddling on the couch. graham falls asleep. patty takes off. there's a knock at the door. it's brian, returning her backpack. he yells at her, and then is surprised that she doesn't yell back. she ends up talking to him about boys like he's not a boy. graham listens from the couch. brian and angela have an actual nice chat where they don't insult one another. about sex, no less. jordan arrives in front of the chase house, with brian's bike in his trunk. brian and jordan discuss the bike and it's ownership. I think I finally have it figured out -- Angela abuses Brian and he takes it not because he's a lovesick puppy (well, he *is*, but that's not his motivation), but because they *expect* this. It's routine, it's something they do. So there was actually something touching when Brian says "You don't have to sit there and take this", and Angela sits there almost dumbly. Brian is a really nice guy, and even though he doesn't have the foggiest idea what's going on, he's still a good shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen with. jordan goes up to the house to talk to angela. she is wierdly philosphical. jordan tells her he won't hold it against her. then she starts talking at full speed, until he just can't take it anymore. but then he offers her some advice on her driving that is strangely touching, and she starts crying as they say goodbye. then they kiss goodbye. that was a very odd way to break up. This is fouling up my opinion of Jordan again. The anticlimax of his departure seems to indicate that this breakup is a civil one. It sounds a whole lot like he still likes Angela, but is unwilling to pursue a relationship with her if it doesn't include sex. So now, I don't think that he was just using her, but I still think he's an insensitive lout for failing to acknowledge that she has a say in whether they have sex or not. graham is still sitting on the couch listening. angela rides down the street on brian's bike, thinking. then she takes her hands off the handlebars and raises them to the sky, then the screen fades to black and then to... We're back to themes again -- this time around it's "trust". It's not as well-integrated into the storyline this time around, simply because the main storyline, in which Angela contemplates whether or not to lose her virginity, is really less about trust and more about peer pressure (trust comes from serious relationships, and I cannot think that Angela's brief time with Jordan was anything more than hormonal attraction with a liberal dose of personal fantasy). However, trust is central in the changing of Patty's ideas about whether or not Graham should enter into the restaurant business, and it provides a nice contrast between the mature stability of their relationship, and the rocky, stumbling one between Angela and Jordan. Mainly, this episode confirmed my suspicions about last week (well, two weeks ago), which was essentially a set-up for the events of this week, and I guess, in that light, they did a pretty good job (even though I'm still disappointed by that particular episode). The continuity of events here is very good -- we get *lots* of references to previous episodes, and we get to see some of those new characters again, instead of tossing them by the wayside (something that I'd worried about). Kevin J. Chen - kchen@cc.gatech.edu Extraordinary thanks to this weeks contributors: dogbert, Heidi, Stuart and Kevin. plot summary for the 12/8 episode of "My so-called Life" do not read further unless you're ready for the episode to be spoiled. you have been warned 'n' stuff. spoiler condoms(tm) s p o i l e r c o n d o m s (tm) aaaaallllllllllllllrighty, then... how does the theme song sound in stereo? all the tvs in my house are mono. gee. commercials. what a surprise. rayanne has been clean for over a month. apparently that's a dangerous time. angela and jordan have "pretty much broken up", but he can still get into her locker rather quickly. jordan could just kill tino. rayanne wonders if she is "orally fixated". she doubts her mother's word that she was breast-fed. she and the counsellor discuss angela for some reason. rickie and rayanne think that jordan and angela is "like the wierdest breakup in history" frozen embryos have broken up. tino went insane and threw his mike through the bass drum and walked out. rayanne wanders by and jordan leaves. angela and rayanne chat a bit, and angela invites rayanne over. when rayanne arrives, angela isn't there. so rayanne helps graham cook something. patty arrives home. patty and rayanne have a bizarre conversation. then danielle comes in and chastises rayanne for belching and not saying "excuse me". angela never does get home before rayanne leaves. bert and ernie engross most of rayanne's attention. but then she gets hungry, and her mom counsels her about angela being with jordan all the time. then they attack some leftover chinese food. rayanne arrives in jordan's car, where jordan and angela are chatting. rayanne gets on his nerves very quickly. he asks them both to leave. frozen embryos have finally gotten a chance at the open mike night at a local coffehouse. rayanne suddenly amazes herself by coming up with the idea of becoming frozen embryos' new singer. she makes angela promise to ask jordan to let her try it. commercials. danielle almost gets to the phone before angela. but it's for danielle. patty wonders where angela is hanging out, sort of casually. graham isn't a lot of help. angela and danielle both complain about their parents making them late for school. danielle has a boyfriend! jordan doesn't *believe* that angela asked him if they would like rayanne for a singer. rickie is frightened by rayanne's mood. brian is in this scene for just long enough to discover that fact. sharon is surprised to learn that rayanne can sing. sharon catches up on the situation. frozen embryos are practicing. except they seem to be in the mood to rip each other's heads off. jordan calls angela to complain about rayanne, and patty listens in on angela's conversation, until graham catches her, after taking the phone away from danielle. angela thinks it's danielle on the line, until danielle walks past her room. patty is sort of worried about rayanne. how bizarre. patty wakes graham up in the middle of the night to continue the conversation. and then they can't go back to sleep, so they keep waking each other back up and starting the conversation about rayanne again. graham finishes the conversation, until patty jumps his bones. angela waffles at jordan, apologizing for rayanne's behavior. but it seems that the drummer likes her, and she's their new singer. Jordan is not pleased. more commercials amber's phone rings, awakening her. it's patty. amber was having a strange dream about angela and jordan and rayanne. patty tries the subtle approach to asking about rayanne. it doesn't go over very well. rayanne doesn't do well as the singer, but the band are still fighting amongst themselves. jordan tells rayanne that the audition is that night. unfortunately, rayanne doesn't know what song they're singing. as she borrows boots from angela, she freaks her out by pretending to start drinking. amber and rayanne are sorta excited about rayanne's debut. angela discusses things one-sidedly with her parents, trying to come up with a reason not to go. angela is feeling wierd about her relationship with rayanne. then after she leaves, patty notices the glass that rayanne used to freak angela out. rickie is surprised that brian came to vertigo, the coffee house. the band suddenly becomes "between names"... heh. rayanne sets up at the mike. and then... she doesn't start singing when she's supposed to, but eventually she starts, but then she does really badly, and jordan looks sort of infinitely displeased. then she runs off stage, taking the band's audience (rickie and brian) with her. jordan looks disgusted and starts singing himself (he's actually good). rayanne blows up at rickie when he catches her, and when brian tells him that it's probably not anything to worry about, rickie thinks that yes, there probably is. commercials commercials commercials. i really need to learn to touch-type... rickie calls angela, but she can't understand what he's saying. then patty takes over, and... she goes over to amber's house, and makes an utter fool of herself, when she lectures amber about parenting, and then rayanne turns out to have just gone home. patty gives rayanne a ride to school, and they finally make friends. rickie is sort of extremely furious at rayanne. angela joins rayanne on the fire escape. they discuss the tension between them. rayanne misses angela coming to her for advice. angela thinks she should have been there for rayanne's singing debut. they hug, as high school girls will, and cry a bit, and everything's okay. then rickie comes out there too and gives rayanne a hug, and promises that he's going to kill her. rayanne and angela join rickie in a line for something. rayanne breaks into the theme song from sesame street. but then she grabs somebody's beer and drinks what looks like about half of it in slow motion as angela and rickie, who were enjoying her singing, look like they've suddenly seen her die or something, and then it fades to black. commercials again. and of course they don't show previews for next week. fuckers. in summary, wow. love and hugs, --dogbert My So-Called Life:E15 My So-Called Life Episode Guide It's a Wonderful Life Do we have to keep talking about religion? It's Christmas. Brian: Are you sure this is the help line? Jade: It's the help line alright. Brian: Look, I better get off. Er, I mean...hang up, I mean... Rayanne: Look at it this way, Steve: Still feel like crying? Sharon: people are experiencing actual symptoms of depression! like loss of appetite. or something. christmas cookie? Brian: i'm not hungry. Rickie tumbles into the snow, crying and leaving behind a pool of blood. As he runs down an alley out of the shot, the camera pans past a girl with a guitar playing christmas carols. The opening credits play across the bottom of the screen. The shot transitions from the girl, playing "silent night" to angela playing "silent night" on the piano. Danielle is upset about not getting a new bike for christmas. Angela did when she was eleven, after all. Apparently she keeps a running count. Patty is upset that they got a card from the Levettis - who they haven't heard from for quite a while. Angela idly wonders from the piano why they never go to church. Patty and Graham make lame excuses. Danielle wonders why they have to talk about religion - it's Christmas, after all. Rayanne and Angela meet Rickie in the hall at school, with a big honking bruise on his face. He claims to have fallen trying to catch the bus, and mooches some change for a candy bar. Angela is somewhat skeptical, but Rayanne explains that Rickie tends to get beat up, and he doesn't always want to talk about it. Rayanne, meanwhile, is off mocking Sharon's enthusiasm about the Teen HelpLine, noting that having to talk to her might push depressed people over the edge. Flyers fly. Sharon pesters Brian about the HelpLine, which he signed up for. He tells her to un-sign him. He seems somewhat tense. Patty tells Graham that Brian's parents have gone on a cruise, leaving Brian to his own devices. They then leave to buy presents. Patty asks Graham to go to church with them on christmas eve. he doesn't wanna. Angela takes out the trash and is frightened by Rickie. She invites him inside. He explains that he's been visiting people all day - Rayanne, then Brian. Danielle wonders if it isn't a little late to be dropping by. Angela feeds Rickie some assorted food - he forgot to eat lunch. Then Graham and Patty arrive. They cover up their surprise pretty well, about the bruise, but they cunningly get her out into the living room "to try something on". There is a heated whispered discussion about him, during which he takes off. (commercials) Jordan leaves the supermarket with a pack of cigarrettes. He offers Rickie a ride. It looks rather cold out. Rickie doesn't have a destination in mind, but Jordan tells him that he knows a place where Rickie can crash. Jordan reveals that his dad used to beat him up too - but he doesn't anymore because the last time it happened, Jordan threw a chair at him. Rickie offers to light a candle for him on Christmas eve, but Jordan is not enthusiastic. As they drive off the wrong way down a one-way street, the camera pans past that girl with the guitar again. Graham and Patty wonder if they were wrong about what to do about Rickie. They have the sound of people rationalizing a bad decision. Rayanne reassures angela, sort of, why Rickie isn't at school. She tells her that she can't be responsible for the whole world. Sharon is still after Brian about the HelpLine. She does a very, very, amusingly bad job. She runs off into the bathroom, where Rayanne is blowing bubbles. Sharon spills her guts to Rayanne, finding that she's actually a good listener. Then Rayanne spills *her* guts to Sharon. And Sharon seizes the opportunity to enlist Brian's replacement. Angela deposits a note in Rickie's locker, but is sidetracked by a girl's voice, singing. The girl we keep seeing is in a room, playing her guitar and singing a sad sort of song. Say. That's Juliana Hatfield. What a surprise. She notices Angela, and stops. She packs up her guitar as she talks to Angela about why she's there. She was just leaving. She says that she hates to go back outside, because she can never get warm - her boots have a hole in the sole, and once her feet get cold there's no way to warm up. It develops that she knows Rickie. She vanishes into the hallway as the bell rings. Angela tries to follow her, but loses her. She runs into Jordan (literally). Jordan offers to take her to where he took Rickie. They walk off down the hall, hand in hand. (commercials again) Brian helps Graham get the Christmas tree into the Chase house. Patty opens the door into him as he leaves. Angela and Jordan enter an abandoned warehouse. Jordan shares his cigarrettes with one of the people as Angela wanders into the back section, which is lit by candles. The music and cinematography in this bit are *really* good. Angela hears the voice of the girl from the music room and follows it up a stairwell. She's singing the same song again. Angela almost cries as she listens to the girl sing, and as she finishes , the girl gets up and wordlessly leads her to where Rickie is sleeping. Rickie is unaccountably angry at Angela for finding him and trying to help him, and screams at her to leave him alone, if she really wants to help him. He thinks she doesn't belong there. She thinks he doesn't either. Angela leaves. On the way out, she sees the girl with the guitar, sleeping. Very quietly, she takes off her boots and switches them with the girl's, then leaves. (still more commercials) Angela walks into the house, dropping the malfunctioning boots at the door. The Christmas decorations are all up, although Danielle saved her the angel. For some reason, Brian is still there too. Brian inquires about Rickie. Angela swears him to secrecy, and then tells him what's going on. Graham and Patty listen in. Angela seems very freaked out by the whole thing. When Patty finds out where the warehouse is, she freaks out too. She decides that they have to "do the right thing" ("who are you, spike lee?" is graham's reply). They go to the bureau of childrens' services or whatever it's called to report a warehouse full of homeless children. they want to know what's going to happen. Patty is sort of absorbed by a picture, which happens to be of the girl with the guitar, on the wall, on a 'have you seen this girl' poster. Danielle is watching Bullwinkle as Patty and Graham arrive at home. Patty and Angela get in a big fight because Patty interfered, and she doesn't think Patty understands. Angela tries to explain - the girl could be her. Graham accidentally makes Patty realize that Angela has gone off to the warehouse again. Patty zooms off to give chase. Angela arrives at the warehouse, just in time for the police or whoever to think she's a late-returning homeless child. (what's with all these damn commercials?) Danielle hasn't quite figured out what's going on. Patty charges past Brian. Brian is confused, and Danielle is unable to clear matters up for him. Brian watches a few minutes of "A Christmas Carol" on TV, then he calls the helpline, where Rayanne gets to take her first call. Rayanne recognizes his voice immediately, and uses a somewhat unorthodox method of alleviating his depression. He never figures out who she is, though. Sharon is frankly stunned. Patty arrives at a place that she's not quite sure is the right one. None of the passers-by are terribly helpful. She sees the girl with the guitar in the distance, and follows her because she recognizes the shoes. Angela calls home from a church basement, where they took all the kids from the warehouse. Graham tells Danielle and Brian "we're going to church." Patty is getting desparate. She calls out to Angela. Instead, the girl appears, her guitar slung over her back in it's furry case. Patty explains her problem to the girl. The girl explains that she knows. Patty quotes "there but for the grace of God" and the girl finishes the quote "go i". The girl invites Patty to ask her what she wants to know. Patty asks why she left home. The girl explains that she left for the same reason that Angela just left, earlier in the day. The girl encourages Patty to ask the question she *really* wants to ask. "How did you die?" The girl doesn't seem to like remembering. "I froze," Patty looks up at the sky and says: "Oh, God. Please help me." The girl has vanished. Patty realizes that she's in front of a church, so she goes inside, presumably to pray. She spots Rickie down the aisle, lighting candles. She approaches and gives him a hug as he starts crying. Angela wanders up some stairs and finds herself in the same sanctuary. She sees Rickie and her mom and runs to them, embracing first Rickie, and then Patty. The choir sings an old song called "i feel like going home". Graham and Brian and Danielle arrive at the church and join Patty, Rickie, and Angela. Angela looks extremely happy to see everyone. Even Danielle. Rayanne and Sharon laugh and eat popcorn at the obviously underused HelpLine. Jordan sits by himself in the loft where Frozen Embryos practice. He lights a candle and leans back with a sigh. The choir switches to "Silent Night" as the Chases and others leave the church, and the girl looks up into the sky, then spreads wings and flys away. The producers' credits are superimposed on the churchyard instead of plain black or white. The number for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, in case you want to know, is 1-800-THE-LOST. (the Notting Hillbillies did a great version of "i feel like going home" on their album _missing... presumed having a good time_. i don't have the lyrics handy (i can only remember the first verse) but they are outstandingly appropriate. anyway, that's all for today.) see y'all next week. love and vorlons, --dogbert Isn't dogbert a real cool guy? My So-Called Life:E16 My So-Called Life Episode Guide Resolutions I resolve not to be so introspective. I think. Isn't it...New Year's Eve? Jordan: She would sleep with you. Brain: What!? Jordan: She. Would sleep. With You. Brian: Because I gave her my eraser? Episode summary of the episode of _My so-called Life_ broadcast 1/5/95 opening credits 'n' stuff. commercials 'n' stuff. *quiver* *twitch* maybe i *shouldn't* have had that last cup of tea... =) dick clark. oh, my god. angela resolves to get less caught up in her own thoughts. sharon resolves to give up sex with people she doesn't respect. mr. katimsky: give up coffee. brian: give up obsessing about angela. danielle: badger patty into letting her wear makeup. rickie: find a place to live. rayanne: stop drinking. patty: stop being suspicious. graham: tell hallie he's not going into the restauraunt business. jordan: wait... isn't this new year's eve? rickie makes breakfast. he tells danielle where her stuff is. patty scares graham by telling him "whatever makes you happy". rickie and angela head off to school. angela and graham discuss rickie, and he goes back for a book, in time to hear and misconstrue the end of their conversation. mr. katimsky freaks out because he hasn't had his coffee. rickie is saved by the bell from having to actually answer a question. the class completely ignores mr. katimsky's assignment. angela does jordan's homework. he decides that it's wrong. for the first time in her life, angela's resolution is fulfilled. sharon avoids kyle. unfortunately, she avoids into the same room as where rayanne is making out with someone. kyle finds her and tells her he loves her. rayanne looks at them oddly. and not her usual kind of odd, either. not sarcasm - more envy or something. hattie is very nice about graham not wanting to do the restauraunt thing. but she's going to go ahead with it, and she does her best to get on graham's nerves about it. danielle progresses with her badgering of patty. wow. she's talented. graham arrives home. he and patty have a confusing discussion about what graham wants, and what patty wants him to want, or something. rickie takes off, rather sudden-like. graham and patty are surprised and a little upset about it. commercials again. mr. katimsky makes everyone turn in the essays he assigned, but rickie seems to have fallen asleep. he didn't do her essay. he makes up a very bad excuse. mr. katimsky is bemused. angela asks rickie to tell rayanne that everything is cool, 'cause rayanne thinks patty kicked him out. then angela talks to mr. katimsky about people having problems in english. then she signs jordan up for a tutoring session. rayanne pesters sharon about her incident with kyle. sharon isn't quite as amused by it as rayanne. sharon is a little confused about things. rayanne is helpful, in her grating, obnoxious way. graham investigates hallie's new restauraunt. hallie is still weaseling away at him about it. the building 'needs a little work'. graham leaves, pretending to be angry, unconvincingly. hallie seems to think that she's got him hooked. patty chats with graham's brother. who hasn't heard a damn thing about hallie lowenthal. hmmmmm. how suspicious. nobody wants to know how he fixed the stereo. patty is suspicious, despite her resolution. graham is snippy with his brother, because he can see that something that he did made patty suspicious or something. jordan isn't sure about the tutoring thing. he seems to think that 'brain crakow' is going to be tutoring him. hehehe. mr. katimsky's class bellows at each other. i'm not quite sure why. rickie is on the phone, looking for a 'forwarding number'. mr. katimsky comes out into the hall, sees rickie, and trys to catch up with him as he runs away. commercials yet again. my fingers are *freezing* mr. katimsky, at his desk, is interrupted by rickie. who is there early. rickie wants to talk about the Oddessy (y'know... by that "Homer" guy?). rickie read the story, but he doesn't have anywhere to write a paper at. rickie tells mr. katimsky his story. his aunt and uncle seem to have moved, without telling him. miss kryzanowski and mr. katimsky try to arrange for a place for rickie to stay at. the catch is that she can't get rickie in for a couple weeks. brian wants to switch tutorees with sharon, 'cause he doesn't want to tutor jordan. sharon, knows how he feels ("like a hypocrite"), as she recieves a squeaky teddy bear from kyle. sharon explains her feelings about kyle, under the guise of advising brian. jordan and brian have a deeply twisted conversation. jordan introduces brian to the fine art of picking up girls. brian is amazed that jordan lives like that. angela walks up right as the two laugh mysteriously. angela wonders if she can help jordan. he hits upon her with *great* subtlety, causing more laughter ("i guess that's a no"). angela leaves, still laughing. rickie thanks mr. katimsky for his help. rickie is on the waiting list for the whatsit, but until then he's being placed in a 'facility'. mr. katimsky trys to make it as non-freaking-out as possible, but rickie freaks anyway. graham talks on the phone with hallie. patty arrives. graham gets off the phone. patty asks him about his new years resolution. he lies. so does she. rickie gets up from his bed at the 'facility' and leaves, wordlessly, even though someone trys to ask him where he's going. commercials mr. katimsky arrives at the chase home, looking for rickie. he suggests that the girls go off to school. mr. katimsky yells at patty, who breaks down crying on graham (who says "who *are* you?"). they discuss rickie, withdrawl from caffiene, and stuff. rayanne sets up sharon's breaking up with kyle, but she screws it up, predictably. graham and patty discuss their chat with mr. katimsky. graham decides that he *really* does want to open the restauraunt. patty will be "unbelievably" supportive. patty is terribly relieved, and graham wonders what she though he was going to say. brian *still* can't believe how easily jordan relates to people. jordan requests that he start with the basics. even if they seem too basic. rickie calls mr. katimsky from a phone booth. where it's raining. rickie trys to reassure mr. katimsky, and mr. katimsky tries to get him to admit that he doesn't have anywhere to stay, which i think is what the thing is. mr. katimsky's, uh, person-in-the-house talks with him about it. it seems mr. katimsky has a reason for not taking rickie in. apparently, he doesn't think it's a very good reason. graham drops in on hallie's restauraunt. hallie, damp, scares him. she did a schmooze job to get the rent taken care of. hallie explains to him why he came. uh oh. hallie's broken up with brad. and graham looks like he's anticipating the same thing i'm anticipating... but he's very sorry that they broke up. but she doesn't say anything. graham looks worried, though. there is a knock at mr. katimsky's door. a very damp rickie arrives at the door. he couldn't take being alone any more. mr. katimsky gives him a hug and escorts him into the (apartment? house? i can't tell). fade to black, with white production credits. commercials will they show previews? hell no. i'd bet money on it. i was right. no previews. well, there you have it. with a little commentary from me, even. New Year's resolutions: Jordan strikes me as the kind of guy who would be out partying it up with his friends. It seemed strange that he wouldn't know that it was New Year's. Unless that's an indicator that he's changing. rickie is saved by the bell from having to actually answer a question. "What does Odysseus want?" The answer that Rickie can't quite get out is: "to find a home." I love how these kids always get to study things that have some tangible meaning in their lives. It wasn't like that when I was in highschool. I, too, knew from the first moment that Katimsky was gay. It's not as if it's some stupidly obvious plot twist, but somehow it makes sense that this show would introduce a gay role model for Rickie. I mean, it's not unlikely in the "real" world, anyway. Angela and Jordan's relationship is so intriguing. It reminds me of how I am now with someone I used to be very deeply involved with. I can spend hours just hanging with him. The strange thing here was that Jordan was way ahead of Angela. A lot of this episode was about giving Jordan credit for being as socially adept as he is. As Angela said to Mr. Katimsky, "he's smart in lots of ways, he just doesn't do well in school." Again the doubling of Brian and Jordan is very interesting. It adds so many more levels to the whole thing. I like the economy of the trade they have set up. Brian is not comfortable working with Jordan to begin with. I don't think Jordan was overly thrilled either when he asked Brian if he was "Brain". But the "you teach me how to read and I'll teach you how to get girls' phone numbers" exchange works. Brian is kinda selfish, huh? I mean, Jordan got him the phone number with no strings attached. But I digress. Again we get Brian and Jordan as two halves of a whole. Jordan is obviously having a hard time defining his relationship with Angela. They are much more than friends ("but now you're just a friend...or something"). He is obviously still interested in pursuing the physical side of it along with the friendship. I guess it's a matter of finding a balance. He obviously can't hold out forever (as the preview for next week tells us), but he cares about and appreciates Angela much more than he did before. She also seems to be having some kind of positive affect on his self-esteem. He didn't even care about staying in school before, and now he's making the effort to learn to read. I know from my own experience that letting someone know that their "secret" is not the worst thing in the world and that you would like to help them can be the first step to a major change. It's quite nice to see Jordan undergo this sort of transition in a realistic way. Back to the tutoring thing: Brian, Jordan and Angela's laughter kind of annoyed me in this scene. It was SO fake. I loved the way it was set up, but that took away from it somehow. And how about Patty's crying in the scene when Mr. Katimsky came to their house? Ugh!! Bad actor, no cookie. I loved that scene too, btw. Graham's cluelessness was classic. Another interesting doubling is Rayanne and Sharon. Another case of two characters being versions of each other and acting out what the other cannot, etc. How about Rayanne/AJ's sit-ups. She didn't even get out of breath at all. Wow. Did Devon O/Sharon look really different, or was it just my imagination? Her face looked so angular. Maybe she lost some weight or something. Another great moment was the stereo thing: Graham's got a little input/output confusion." I'll say. That big "3" on Katimsky's door caught my attention too. A little not too subtle forehadowing, perhaps? I liked the way you could see the unnamed lover reaching out his hand to Rickie as the door closed. Rickie has finally found a "home". heidi-ho ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ H. A. Paulsen paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu SUNY@Buffalo English Dept. ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ The emotional temperature and tension of the 1/5 episode was so intense that I really needed the brilliantly ill "Seinfeld" episode that followed on NBC to bring me down to normal. Some thoughts: 1. This may have been the best episode of the season. So much is now happening on the show that it's like "ER" with actual rounded characters. And an episode basically centered around Graham, Rickie, and Sharon is an episode made for me. 2. How did it happen? How did Hallie Lowenthal change from so annoying to so sexy? No longer safely engaged to Brad, she's fulfilling her destiny as Graham's accident-waiting-to-happen-- or the woman who's going to make his life everything he's wanted it to be. Graham is going through the most intense growing pains on the show right now. Even though he's in his forties, he's just forming as a grown-up. I mean, Jordan Catalano has a more well-defined character. Everything is coming into question. He's a good solid husband and father, but he's being tempted sexually. He's conservative, but he's being lured into a business venture that's far from a sure thing. He's living in the shadow of his wife, but now he's getting a chance to go out on his own away from the family. He's becoming a new person who's talented and a little daring and it's really exciting to watch. I hope he finds a way to reconcile his dreams and his responsibilities. (Good line from Graham's bro: "Graham's got a little input-output confusion.") 3. As an old friend of mine once said to me: "Don't resist temptation." There was temptation all over this episode and it made for an interesting subtheme (to "Who am I really?" which is every week's main theme and "Where do I belong?" which is Rickie's theme song). It's like this: Graham is tempted by Hallie: he risks his family, his security, his identity as a fuckup Mr. Katimsky is tempted by Rickie: he risks his job, his position in society Sharon is tempted by Kyle (and Brad Pitt): risks her self-respect-- that dweeb again?-- and also her identity as an independent person-- she's grown since she dumped him Jordan, in passing, asks Angela to sleep with him (even though she's "a friend or whatever") and makes her laugh Brian and the pencil girl... Mr. Katimsky calls Patty a "foul temptress" when she offers him coffee. Add the coercion of Hallie dragging Graham into the restaurant, Angela signing Jordan's name to the tutorial list, and Kyle-- God, is he a geek!-- renting a Brad Pitt video for Sharon and we've got a show where no one's got any free will at all, where all the characters are at the mercy of their various compulsions and secret desires. 4. In a new year, we all hope to become new people. The resolution sequence at the top was so funny-- especially Jordan, the new comic center of the show. Now he's gonna teach Brian how to pick up girls-- isn't that a bit too Fonz-like? (Second best line's from Brian: "I kind of *am* a coward.") Heidi's always been big on the Brian-Jordan parallels. Now the two are coming together, each teaching the other something he knows. It's gonna be fun to watch. 5. But could anything be as fun to watch as Sharon and Rayanne together? Does Sharon qualify as a slut for what she's doing? I really hope she doesn't get pregnant. 6. Okay, the main plot. It was very, very heavy. Some of you pointed out months ago that Mr. Katimsky is gay. All I can say is: very perceptive. The revealing shot in his apartment was really spooky (apartment number 3 will have three people now that Rickie's there) and exciting. At last, the truth! I've always liked Mr. Katimsky because he cares about his students. He's gone the extra mile for Rickie and he may well have saved his life. 7. Of course, the theme of Homer's "The Odyssey" is going back home. The parallel to Rickie was a little heavy-handed but powerful nonetheless. But, unlike Odysseus, Rickie's got no home to go back to. He has to find a new one, a place where he can really be himself. Rickie's arrival on Mr. Katimsky's doorstep also ties up the themes of temptation and compulsion that were sounded throughout. Call it destiny, fate, whatever. Like Graham's last scene with Hallie, Rickie needed to be in that place with that person at that time. After all, they both came in out of the rain. I can't wait to see what happens. One more thing: The Brad Pitt thing was a matter of creative product placement. He's the star of "Legends of the Fall," a new movie directed by Edward Zwick (co-executive producer?). It worked within the story, but it's still a bit self-serving. --StuRock dick clark. oh, my god. angela resolves to get less caught up in her own thoughts. sharon resolves to give up sex with people she doesn't respect. mr. katimsky: give up coffee. brian: give up obsessing about angela. danielle: badger patty into letting her wear makeup. rickie: find a place to live. rayanne: stop drinking. patty: stop being suspicious. graham: tell hallie he's not going into the restauraunt business. jordan: wait... isn't this new year's eve? You forgot Kyle: "Spend more time with the dog -- and Sharon." This part was hilarious. I was a bit concerned (as I always am) when the writers break with tradition and go into the heads of other characters, but this didn't really give anything away, and it was fun, to boot. Jordan's cluelessness really had me tickled (and thank *god* he didn't say something asinine like "Have sex with Angela Chase"). Is it just me, or is it surprising that Jordan is alone on both Christmas *and* New Year's? Maybe he's not the social party fiend that we sometimes assume he is. One curious resolution is Rayanne's resolution to quit drinking for good. We haven't really seen how Rayanne's been staying clean (or not) since the end of "On the Wagon", where she (inadvertently?) takes a sip of a bystander's beer. Has she been bingeing since then, or does she now realize the consequences of what she then did? rickie makes breakfast. he tells danielle where her stuff is. patty scares graham by telling him "whatever makes you happy". rickie and angela head off to school. angela and graham discuss rickie, and he goes back for a book, in time to hear and misconstrue the end of their conversation. Rickie is a Domestic God. Rickie: "Your sweater is underneath the coffee table next to the stack of magazines." Graham: "There's a stack of magazines?" Rickie: "There is now." Note that Rickie goes back for a copy of The *Odyssey*, a book about a man doomed to roam the world, searching for his home. mr. katimsky freaks out because he hasn't had his coffee. rickie is saved by the bell from having to actually answer a question. the class completely ignores mr. katimsky's assignment. I tried *really* hard to parse this name. The surname sounds suspiciously like Kozinsky, or Kosminsky. He's obviously been teaching for a while, because he's got a voice now ("What does Odysseus *want*?"), rather than that sort of tremulous stammer that used to characterize him. We should probably add an entry to the drinking game here, too -- any time a student is spared answering a question by the class bell, take a drink. No wonder kids nowadays aren't learning in school. B) angela does jordan's homework. he decides that it's wrong. for the first time in her life, angela's resolution is fulfilled. Snicker. And not by her. Strictly speaking, she's already muffed it by this point. This was an excellently done interaction between the two characters. It almost seems as if this relationship is at its highest points when the two characters aren't (supposed to be) emotionally close. Notice that Jordan can't seem to bring himself to use the "f" word when he's speaking to Angela: "It's not right, now that we're just -- you know. I mean, now that we're not -- you know." (No, not *that* "f" word. "Friend", you silly people) sharon avoids kyle. unfortunately, she avoids into the same room as where rayanne is making out with someone. kyle finds her and tells her he loves her. rayanne looks at them oddly. and not her usual kind of odd, either. not sarcasm - more envy or something. Well, so maybe it's not all just image with Rayanne (ah, but does he respect her?). This is something of a climax (no pun intended) of the juxtaposition of these two characters which began in the literary journal (Sharon: "My life will be so over when everyone finds out I wrote that poem." Rayanne: "Are you kidding? My life will be over when everyone finds out I didn't."). Sharon, here, is the character dominated by her passions, while Rayanne (it seems fairly obvious) is the character really searching for some sort of emotional, rather than physical love. hallie is very nice about graham not wanting to do the restauraunt thing. but she's going to go ahead with it, and she does her best to get on graham's nerves about it. Sure. I'm -- not -- twisting -- your -- arm -- here -- really. mr. katimsky makes everyone turn in the essays he assigned, but rickie seems to have fallen asleep. he didn't do her essay. he makes up a very bad excuse. mr. katimsky is bemused. angela asks rickie to tell rayanne that everything is cool, 'cause rayanne thinks patty kicked him out. then angela talks to mr. katimsky about people having problems in english. then she signs jordan up for a tutoring session. Katimsky/Kozimski starts to figure out that perhaps life is not going well with Rickie here. After all, Rickie attempts to use the Chases as an "alibi", and Angela's unprompted reactions don't really jibe with his explanations. rayanne pesters sharon about her incident with kyle. sharon isn't quite as amused by it as rayanne. sharon is a little confused about things. rayanne is helpful, in her grating, obnoxious way. Amazing. Neither of them even broke a sweat. B) graham investigates hallie's new restauraunt. hallie is still weaseling away at him about it. the building 'needs a little work'. graham leaves, pretending to be angry, unconvincingly. hallie seems to think that she's got him hooked. Snicker. "Brad's got this theory about you... he says you'll cave in at the last second." patty chats with graham's brother. who hasn't heard a damn thing about hallie lowenthal. hmmmmm. how suspicious. nobody wants to know how he fixed the stereo. patty is suspicious, despite her resolution. graham is snippy with his brother, because he can see that something that he did made patty suspicious or something. Wow. This was a great scene. After all, wasn't it his brother that Graham had confided in back when he was contemplating having an affair? Patty is probing to see if Graham is having an affair, and she manages to convince Graham's brother that he is, and then Graham walks in on the both of them... jordan isn't sure about the tutoring thing. he seems to think that 'brain crakow' is going to be tutoring him. hehehe. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is more than just a joke, though. It's probably also an indication that Jordan is probably dyslexic hence his difficulty reading. mr. katimsky's class bellows at each other. i'm not quite sure why. My first and only guess is that they're acting out the episode of Scylla and Charybdis, which was one of the many obstacles that Odysseus had to face in searching for his home. Of course, it isn't explained (and I really wanted to see if I was right, dammit), but it serves the purpose of illustrating that Mr. Katimsky is one of those teachers who can get away with unorthodox teaching methods, like Vic Racine or John Keating. rickie is on the phone, looking for a 'forwarding number'. mr. katimsky comes out into the hall, sees rickie, and trys to catch up with him as he runs away. Whoa. Rickie's reaction here mirrors my own. "They couldn't do that!" Katimsky gets the full measure of the problem here, although this was sloppily done (a teacher, abandoning his class just like that? And don't tell me he heard Rickie outside in the hallway, not with all that screaming going on). mr. katimsky, at his desk, is interrupted by rickie. who is there early. rickie wants to talk about the Oddessy (y'know... by that "Homer" guy?). rickie read the story, but he doesn't have anywhere to write a paper at. rickie tells mr. katimsky his story. his aunt and uncle seem to have moved, without telling him. miss kryzanowski and mr. katimsky try to arrange for a place for rickie to stay at. the catch is that she can't get rickie in for a couple weeks. Sigh. I'd sort of hoped that they'd leave the parallels between the Odyssey and Rickie's situation unspoken as a bit of bread crust for the literary audience. Folks just don't read the classics no more. I was fairly surprised that Katimsky, who obviously has sympathy for Rickie doesn't offer to put him up at his place in the interim. brian wants to switch tutorees with sharon, 'cause he doesn't want to tutor jordan. sharon, knows how he feels ("like a hypocrite"), as she recieves a squeaky teddy bear from kyle. sharon explains her feelings about kyle, under the guise of advising brian. Wow. This was another great scene. The setup is a bit forced, but what we have here are two characters talking about two entirely different things in such a way that their conversations mesh well. Brian's continued cluelessness was actually entertaining (rather than its usual painfulness) to watch -- "I have to tell him all that?" Somehow, I don't even think that advising Brian even crossed Sharon's mind here. jordan and brian have a deeply twisted conversation. jordan introduces brian to the fine art of picking up girls. brian is amazed that jordan lives like that. angela walks up right as the two laugh mysteriously. angela wonders if she can help jordan. he hits upon her with *great* subtlety, causing more laughter ("i guess that's a no"). angela leaves, still laughing. This has the potential for greatness or disaster. This is the stereotypical jock/popular guy vs. nerd/brain juxtaposition, where the popular guy helps the nerd get more popular, and the nerd helps the other guy get more -- well, not nerdy, but intelligent, or knowledgeable. Jordan's bluntness is in rare form in this scene. "She'd sleep with you, you know." "Wanna have sex with me?" It looks like Brian may be keeping to his resolution, too his credulousness that he may be able to score with Eraser Girl seems to indicate that he's ready to try out some new wallpaper. Angela's reaction to Jordan was a perfect mixture of nervous denial and actual amusement. She probably left in a hurry for fear of relenting her amusement and slapping him in the face. rickie thanks mr. katimsky for his help. rickie is on the waiting list for the whatsit, but until then he's being placed in a 'facility'. mr. katimsky trys to make it as non-freaking-out as possible, but rickie freaks anyway. Katimsky is not really a pursuing type of teacher, is he? That's *twice* this episode that Rickie's run away from him, and twice that he's stared helplessly at Enrique's rapidly fading backside. The writers are getting a wee bit messy again. graham talks on the phone with hallie. patty arrives. graham gets off the phone. patty asks him about his new years resolution. he lies. so does she. rickie gets up from his bed at the 'facility' and leaves, wordlessly, even though someone trys to ask him where he's going. Maybe I'm naive here, but what exactly was wrong with the place? I mean, it was certainly no worse than the warehouse that he was staying at. Is Rickie's denial for need of help a self-destructive behavior, or a seriously misguided cry for help? mr. katimsky arrives at the chase home, looking for rickie. he suggests that the girls go off to school. mr. katimsky yells at patty, who breaks down crying on graham (who says "who *are* you?"). they discuss rickie, withdrawl from caffiene, and stuff. Whoa. Patty is carrying a *major* guilt trip for having turned Rickie away at Christmastime. Katimsky's accusations are really attacking her in the same way as Angela's assertion that she could have been a runaway. Rickie was, for the moment, under her care, and he *has* become a runaway. rayanne sets up sharon's breaking up with kyle, but she screws it up, predictably. Whoa. Sharon's a nympho. Just add water and say "Brad Pitt". B) graham and patty discuss their chat with mr. katimsky. graham decides that he *really* does want to open the restauraunt patty will be "unbelievably" supportive. patty is terribly relieved, and graham wonders what she though he was going to say. Snicker. Well, Patty managed to keep at least half of her resolution. brian *still* can't believe how easily jordan relates to people. jordan requests that he start with the basics. even if they seem too basic. rickie calls mr. katimsky from a phone booth. where it's raining. rickie trys to reassure mr. katimsky, and mr. katimsky tries to get him to admit that he doesn't have anywhere to stay, which i think is what the thing is. mr. katimsky's, uh, person-in-the-house talks with him about it. it seems mr. katimsky has a reason for not taking rickie in. apparently, he doesn't think it's a very good reason. So, it looks like the ayes have it. Katimsky's premiere behavior really did point rather heavily at being gay, so I suppose I'm not surprised, but I was originally hoping against it. This was well done, though -- apparently Katimsky's reluctance to take Rickie in stems from fears that the nature of his lifestyle may be exposed. This now poses an interesting situation, in that we have a much younger character who is "out" and his interaction with one (possibly two) much older characters who are presumably still closeted. Rickie's behavior, while believable, is beginning to irk me. What he's essentially engaging in is a series of verbal jousts with all of his friends and acquaintances in which he challenges them to help him, and then denies that he needs help. I know this is typical cry-for-help behavior, but argh! can't people see when they're digging their own graves? graham drops in on hallie's restauraunt. hallie, damp, scares him. she did a schmooze job to get the rent taken care of. hallie explains to him why he came. uh oh. hallie's broken up with brad. and graham looks like he's anticipating the same thing i'm anticipating... but he's very sorry that they broke up. but she doesn't say anything. graham looks worried, though. I'm not sure what to make out of this. It seems that Hallie perhaps is interested in some sort of liaison with Graham, but Graham is obviously in this purely for the restaurant angle. Wasn't Brad the financial backing for this particular venture, though? there is a knock at mr. katimsky's door. a very damp rickie arrives at the door. he couldn't take being alone any more. mr. katimsky gives him a hug and escorts him into the (apartment? house? i can't tell). Apartment. Rickie was standing in a hallway when Katimsky opens the door. The title of this episode is Resolutions, which is something of a dual meaning in that the characters involved are trying to make (and keep) their New Year's resolutions, and also in the sense that several dangling plot threads have come to some sort of stability in this episode -- Rickie's domestic situation, Graham's decision regarding the restaurant business. Of course, every ending means a beginning, so we get a load of new baggage dumped on our heads -- Hallie's possible romantic interest in Graham, a new interaction between Brian and Jordan, Sharon's sexual crisis with Kyle. There was a lot going on this episode -- some of the plots seemed rushed (and Danielle is still getting so little air time), but the writers kept excellent continuity this episode, and made up for some of the staticness (er -- is that a word?) of the previous episode. I am disappointed, however, that the actual issue of the domestic turbulence in Rickie's life was never directly addressed. Everyone knows that Rickie has a problem, and they're trying to help him with it, but no one really knows what it is. Someone beat him and threw him out on the street, and then moved away -- but why? Was his uncle alcoholic and therefore abusive? Is this related to Rickie's sexuality in some way? Why does Rickie live with an aunt and uncle and not his parents? There are literally tons of questions about this character that I'd like to have answered, but all of these issues are glibly danced around while Rickie bounces from place to place. Kevin. Thanks to dogbert, Heidi, StuRock, and Kevin. My So-Called Life:E17 My So-Called Life Episode Guide Betrayal episode summary of the january 12 episode of _My so-called Life_ opening credits commercials for femininie hygine products. and 'snow white' okay, they're back. angela reflects on her feelings for jordan. she realizes she's over him, and goes dancing about her room. and lipsynching with whatever she's playing. angela and rayanne and rickie watch absinnia audition for the school play. rayanne can't believe she let angela and rickie talk her into it. angela can't believe people think she's sweet and innocent. nobody can't believe angela is over jordan. rayanne heads out on stage. mr. katimsky is somewhat surprised by her choice of costume. brian films (with one of those little baby videocameras) sharon and delia working on the yearbook. he zooms in on sharon's breasts as she advises him. rayanne and rickie make fun of angela's method of crying. corey appears out of nowhere. angela flirts with him as jordan looks on - with an un-jordanlike expression. "and not just because jordan catalono is watching". meanwhile, back at the chase home, graham doesn't want to talk to whoever's on the phone if it's hallie. but it's camille, for patty. it's about a clothing drive at camille's church. they discuss graham's clothes, and patty makes fun of graham, and then, when hallie calls, lets him off the hook, claiming he's in the shower. brian films at that coffee house i can't remember the name of. rayanne doesn't want to talk abou ther audition. jordan talks to some girl. rickie doesn't want to stay and watch rayanne get plastered, so he leaves. rayanne and jordan exchange drinks. outside, they are mildly drunk. they converse drunkenly about angela, the play, and stuff. the conversation gets a little muddled. but drunken conversations have a way of doing that. jordan seems a lot deeper when he's lit. and then they kiss each other. and then they hop into his car. isn't alcohol fun? damn groovy incidental music at this point. and then brian wanders along with his lil' minicam. commercials! brian walks past angela with an odd expression. rayanne zooms past angela, even though she calls her. corey runs into angela (literally), as rickie runs into her from the other side (not literally). jordan approaches rayanne from behind. he asks about her part. she claims not to care, and has a headache. they both claim drunkenness. great excuse, guys. hallie appears at the door of the chase home, claiming she has screwed up where she was going to meet graham. she meets camille. graham calls from wherever hallie was supposed to be. she goes off again, after stopping to make silly comments about baby clothes. apparently graham hasn't mentioned that she and brad broke up. camille isn't sure what to think. sharon wonders what brian got last night. brian pretends stupidity. which he does rather convincingly, then he tells sharon in confidence. sharon discusses the problem with delia, in the girl's bathroom. and angela walks out of the stall they've been talking in front of. rickie is approached by brian. who is having difficulty completing sentences. angela didn't realize that what sharon said was true, until rickie tells her, as they work on painting scenery with corey. i'm almost glad i missed her expression (my touch-typing sucks, you see). commercials. brian sits on his bed listening to music, with no shirt. angela appears, demanding the tape. brian tells her that watching the tape will just make her feel worse. she doesn't listen. in gym class, rayanne avoids angela. the teacher calls 'chase and graf', even though they're not working together anymore. sharon and rayanne have a very terse discussion in the bathroom. rayanne doesn't want to admit that it's entirely her fault. hallie meets graham at a restauraunt, carrying chinese food. she bludgeons graham into reading the prospectus. they curse at each other. it's sorta amusing. rayanne arrives at the chase home. angela is off painting scenery. patty convinces her to come inside. rayanne waffles, but pretty much communicates the problem to patty. patty tries to be supportive, but rayanne runs away, after she realizes that the only reason she hurt angela is because they really matter to each other. jordan approaches brian. brian spews tape. jordan didn't know about it. rayanne approaches rickie. rickie isn't sympathetic, particularly. delia looks for soap. rickie arrives, looking for angela. angela is... uh... sort of upset. like, homicidally so. rickie tries to help her. angela suddenly arrives at the attitude that 'two can play at that game'. uh oh. rayanne wanders through the hall. she stops to read the cast listing for the play. she got the part. she tries to tell angela, but angela ignores her and walks away, after a glare that would have destroyed minor life forms outright. commercials "i can't believe it's not butter - spray"? somebody *shoot* me. patty and camille arrive at the chases', the clothes drive is over. they discuss the angela and rayanne thing, and then the hallie and graham thing. camille is suspicious of hallie, feeding patty's paranoia about graham. jordan tries to talk to angela. she does not look happy to see him like usual. jordan gives her a pen that she apparently lent him in english a while ago. she refuses to give the pen back, but then throws it away as she walks away from jordan walking away. angela and rickie and corey meet to paint scenery. angela walks off with corey and wonders why it's so impossible for her to not be sweet and innocent, and wants to get drunk. rayanne confronts her, maintaining that she lost nothing, while rayanne lost her best friend. rickie sort of tries to smooth things over with angela, but it doesn't seem to work very well, until rickie asks why she's making the big play for corey - and asks her to imagine how he feels. apparently patty once did the same thing to camille. graham is rather unsympathetic in a sarcastic way. graham gets annoyed about hallie. patty, paranoided by her earlier conversation with camille, flushes the toilet as he showers, boiling him alive. mr. katimsky conducts rehearsal. he makes angela (key grip?) read chi quan's part, since she couldn't rehearse that late. mr. katimsky advises rayanne about how to do the scene, not realizing the truly sickening irony that is unfolding before his very eyes. angela starts crying as rayanne finishes her opening line and she says her own. rayanne starts crying too. then she does the angela patented hair-behind ears move, and both leave the stage. fade to white credits on black. apologies if i missed something in the last rayanne / angela / rickie / corey scene... my parents couldn't be bothered to answer their phone - they wanted me to. i *really* need to move out. love and constricted finger-capillaries (my hands are freezing!), --dennis dennis nedblake - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu "well, either sex or a conversation - ideally both." --angela Is anyone else out there amazed by how often people actually go to the bathroom on this show? Or how often we hear a toilet flush? The scene tonight where Patty flushes the toilet while Graham's in the shower was classic. That was always a popular form of vengeance in my household when I was growing up. WHEW!! Another episode that made me cry. The opening scene where Angela dances to "Blister in the Sun" was so cool. I can really relate to that. If there's one thing my parents gave me, it is an appreciation of the healing powers of music. How many times have I danced around my room like that? At least a million. I love Claire Danes's dancing thing. Remember after her first "successful" kiss with Jordan (in the "Red" episode)? She danced up her front walk to her house. It had the same kind of feel to it. Wow. First of all, Rayanne wants to BE Angela. And Angela has always kind of wanted to be Rayanne. I've been thinking a lot about all the pairs of characters on the show and how when you add them together, you get another character. I'm not sure of who Angela + Rayanne equals, but they are definitely two sides of the same coin. (But they are not two halves of a whole, like Brian and Jordan are. I think that's what Rayanne + Sharon equals). Great line: Angela to Rayanne: Acting is like lying and who's a better liar than you? Whoa!!! And then Rayanne kinda gets mean in her mimicry of Angela. The tension between them actually begins here. Rayanne-------Jordan Angela----------Corey . . . . . . . . Angela Rickie Jordan is JEALOUS!! He looks so pained when he is talking to Rayanne about Angela. I mean, why does he need to get drunk so badly in the first place? Seeing Angela with Corey has freaked him big time. I think he thinks he's lost his chance and he's realizing how badly he's fucked up. Jordan: Yeah, she's always saying innocent stuff like that. I can't believe he was talking so much. I was wanting Rayanne to just shut the fuck up, you know? The interesting thing (to me)was that Jordan was the one verbalizing and Brian was the one watching. Jordan: Sometimes it's like, I really think I know her. And then it'll be like, we're total strangers. Compare this to what Hallie says to Graham ("Everytime we have a damn conversation, it's like the first one. I can't make any damn headway.") BIG parallels. Rayanne and Jordan both hesitate a lot before they get into the car. They had time to think about this. I don't think it happenend because they were drunk. I think Rickie's analysis (Rayanne wanted to be Angela, even if just for one night) was pretty accurate. I think Jordan thought Angela was done with him. It's probably more complicated than that, but it's all I can come up with right now. A: When you call someone's name really loud, and they don't hear you-- it makes you feel really lonely. Rayanne igonores Angela, and then Angela ignores Jordan in the same way. So, Jordan is lonely. Makes sense. Rayanne isn't the only one who lost "everything" when she lost Angela. I think that Angela is Jordan's lifeline and he is only just beginning to realize it. She is his chance of escaping his fate of becoming a loser. I loved Jordan's reaction to Corey just before he sees Rayanne the day after sleeping with her--he spins around. Like he can't even bear to see him. Rickie (to Brian): Could you, like, pick a sentence and go with it? heeheeheeheehee Camille and Sharon play similar roles in their friends' relationships. Both are the ones who warn their good friend of what is or may be going on between the man they love and another women. Angela+Jordan+Rayanne = Graham+Patty+Hallie sort of Is Graham and Hallie's partnership parallel to Angela and Jordan's relationship? Or is Graham and Hallie more like Jordan and Rayanne? I don't really think it's that simple. Hallie is bringing out all kinds of good qualities in Graham. And they may never actually fool around. Brian's trouble putting his shirt on when Angela catches him lip-syncing in bed was a great touch. Rayanne+ Patty=?? It's interesting how the two of them work together. Funny that Patty did the same thing to Camille that Rayanne has done to Angela. Rayanne+Sharon=Patty?? [And why do Patty and Jordan never meet? I know I'm going off on all this triangulation, but it seems to me that Patty and Jordan are at opposite poles of differest sets of triangles. When these two are "squared", a lot of problems will be solved. Or, a lot of problems will have to have been solved before these two can be squared.] Rayanne: I guess you can't really hurt someone this bad, unless you really matter to them. Wow!! Rayanne is really fucked up. I can't even imagine that she doesn't think she's important to Angela. Low low low self- esteem. No wonder she hasn't stopped drinking. Did anyone else notice that Jordan/Jared Leto's shoulders look broader, or something? I really noticed it in the scene where he walks towards Brian and Brian pulls the tape out. His body has changed a lot recently. I LOVED this scene, btw. How funny for them to interact in this way. "It doesn't matter who has the stupid tape. *It* happened. *It* can't be, like, erased." How insightful for Brian to say that. KARMA!!! Rayanne not being able to tell Angela that she got the part. That is, like, THE worst punishment. The chewed up pen--"If it's not yours, give it back." "No." I was trying to figure out what this pen was. I love the idea that it's Angela's heart. Or her trust of Jordan. Or her soul. Or something between them. He offers it back to her, she takes it back only grudgingly denying that she's given it to him in the first place. When he asks for it back (for another chance), she says no. And then she throws it away. Wow. Angela: You told me you were over him. Rickie: But guess how I felt when you went after him. Angela: I don't have to guess. Amazing!! The parallels, man. The parallels. This show is soooo fucking deep. It's like Angela discounted Rickie's crush on Corey. Could it be because it was a same sex crush? I think this illustrates that Rickie was pretty much correct in thinking that Angela couldn't understand his problems (ie, the Xmas ep, in the warehouse.) THis was an important lesson for Angela to learn and will probably mae her reconciliation with Rayanne a little smoother. Another one of my favorite lines: "She is physically incapable of parking legally." (Graham to Patty about Hallie.) The final scene: Katimsky asks Rayanne to "stop acting." Acting was equated to lying earlier. So he has in effect asked her to stop lying. Which she does. IT MADE ME CRY. I love how this show uses literature to illustrate everything. (But I guess I'm biased.) I'm so jealous of the way that what they study in school relates to their everyday lives. That did NOT happen when I was in highschool. BTW, I don't think it was a happy ending with Angela and Rayanne reconciling in the end, as someone else speculated. I think it might take them a little while to get back together. As for Angela and Jordan, I can't even imagine how it will go and how they will do it. I mean, only 2 more fucking episodes. Maybe he'll crash his car and Angela will have to "nurse him back to health". (I mean, it's not a wounded soldier, but close.) I noticed that the guy Brian was filming at the pool table at Louie's was played by a Josh Gummersall. Hmmm. They don't look much alike. All in all, one of my faves. But I guess the new one always is. Heidi-Ho -- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ H. A. Paulsen paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu SUNY@Buffalo English Dept. ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ OK, I've just waded through the great posts for the 1/12 episode, and I thought I'd throw in my random thoughts on what I thought was cool... One of the best lines was Rayanne at the beginning, watching Abby audition: "Yeah, she's great. Screw this." [Turns to leave.] :-) The scenes with Brian and the camcorder were good. I especially liked the scenes where he was talking to Sharon. One shot in particular, where he was zoomed in on her butt right when she said "But..." was kinda low-brow, but funny nonetheless. How, exactly, was he going to explain all the gratuitious Tf, and so forth. Angela got lucky, it seems, that Corey was basically a decent guy, and that her friends were able to bring her to her senses before she did anything she would regret. Anyway, this was a great episode. One of my favorites, in fact. Sure, it was a bit "soapy," but it was still quite well-done. JRjr My late-night thoughts are these: 1. The pen. Heidi points out that it's Angela's heart, her trust, her soul. But it's a phallic symbol, too. Taking the pen and throwing it out is Angela's way of negating Jordan's sexuality and its power over her. Angela has never been able to deal with sex. But in tonight's show, she tries to control sex for the first time. She makes a pass at Corey. When's Angela ever made a pass at anyone before? When's she tried to make a guy jealous? When's she ever been sexually aggressive? In tonight's episode, she's cheated on, lied to and pissed off about it. Angela never used to get pissed off. That was then. This is now. Compare this Angela to the one riding Brian's bike at the end of the "Self Esteem" episode. One theme of the entire series is how Angela Chase loses her innocence. Now, for the first time, she's living in the "real" world, the one where people scheme and are flawed and maybe corrupt. In the past she would take an active role in the Florence Nightingale stuff like getting Jordan tutorial help or finding homeless Rickie. But she's always been a passive character in the more worldly social, sexual arena. She has things *done to her* emotionally. She doesn't do things herself. Not any more. She's fighting back. 2. Okay. In the final scene, Rayanne plays a dead girl who's come back to life and realized everything she had while she was alive and how we're all "blind people" for not seeing what it is we have. Very neat and clean summary of her situation with Angela. She's messed it up. And even if she's forgiven, a sacred trust has been shattered. But... I also want to stick up for Rayanne at this point. The old Rayanne-- the flake who hangs out in the girls' room and everything, the fuckup we know and love-- is also now a dead girl. In that final scene, the new Rayanne Graf (the "real" one who isn't "acting") has taken on a previously unseen wisdom and dignity. While Angela has never before been aggressive, Rayanne's never stood on her own two feet, by herself, and taken responsibility for her actions. It's the first step toward adulthood. Y'know, for the first time, Rayanne's got something besides a bad reputation. Something she is not going to fuck up. A natural actress (we've seen this throughout the series: her personality revealed as a carefully constructed persona in the OD episode teasing Brian in the Halloween ep doing phone sex in the Christmas ep) she's now the star of the school play. She got the role by playing Angela, but she's going to develop her own self in the process. She may have found her own special home, a place where she can be whole. It's cost her-- and she knows it. (Again, the actress wasn't acting in her last scene.) 3. The sad sack of this episode was Jordan. Boy, is he diminished in Angela's eyes. And in ours. With one of her friends? Because you both want to *be* Angela? Yecch!!! (Not that it's not incredibly perceptive and realistic and true to who the characters are.) 4. There are friends and there are friends. As Heidi pointed out, Rayanne and Sharon make two halves of a whole, the whole being, perhaps, a woman of experience. BTW, Heidi's triangle Rayanne + Sharon = Patty is brilliant. Both friends make up two halves of Angela's mother-- and are teaching her things about being a woman. I think I'm one of the few people who really like Sharon. Yeah, she's got that bullshit goody-goody school yearbook thing going, but she's got a more complex underside. She has a personal code-- even if it does include Brad Pitt. While Angela and Rayanne may eventually reconcile, Sharon and Rayanne won't. And Sharon seemed genuinely sad about that during their confrontation scene. There is something very gallant in Sharon's protection of Angela, her guardianship over Angela's sexual education (first brought out in "Self-Esteem," a sort of companion episode to this one). 5. Hey, I thought Rickie was gettin' a part in that play.... 6. Brian always watches and spies and plays the fool for it. I *cracked up* when he pulled the tape out and offered it to Jordan. Clueless JC was like the only guy in the school who didn't know what was on that tape. Brian has such a guilty conscience. He's clearly got no future in tabloid TV. --Stuart Thanks to dogbert, Heidi, JR jrm and Stuart! My So-Called Life: E18 My So-Called Life Episode Guide Weekend episode summary for the episode of "My so-called Life" broadcast on the nineteenth of January, 1995. oh, cute. they show an advertisement right before it starts... opening credits commercials and so it begins. danielle plays with her game boy. apparently she gets to narrarate. camille advises patty on what dress to take on her weekend away with graham. camille still doesn't like hallie. aparently neil and marla are going along with patty and graham. danielle believes she has the power to be invisible, but then patty notices her. she reflects that her life is a series of different people kicking her out of different rooms. patty reflects that it's been such a time since she had time alone with graham. camille gives her some handcuffs. angela tries to repel danielle, even though patty sent her down to the kitchen in the first place. rayanne calls for rickie. rickie asks not to be put in the middle of their warfare. rayanne tells him he already is. angela put danielle in the drier the last time they were left alone together? heh. "she begged me to!" rickie gets off the phone. angela looks at him wierdly. danielle greets the returning graham. patty would not believe what happened. hallie had car trouble. graham finally lets slip that hallie has broken up with braaaaad. neil and someone who isn't marla appear at the door. oh. her name is cheryl. uncle neil gives the lamest presents on earth. neil and marla have broken up "again". but neil promises that after five minutes in the car with cheryl, they will all love her. that turns out not to be the case. her laugh is highly obnoxious. rickie and angela (and danielle) hang around in front of the mirror, trying on makeup. danielle considers it highly cool. angela wonders if rayanne asked about her. graham and patty hop into bed, with camille's suggestion (not the handcuffs). the noise of cheryl's laughter echoes into the room. patty wishes neil had chosen a different weekend to break up with marla. patty ends up laughing hysterically. rayanne appears at the door of the chase residence, looking for rickie. angela answers it and has a frigid little conversation before sending her upstairs to find her. rayanne asks the same question about angela that angela earlier asked about her. rayanne finds the handcuffs, and proceeds to lock herself to the bed. *then* rickie looks for the key. then angela walks in. "it, uh, looks like i may be staying a while longer than i thought," is the best rayanne can come up with it. commercials oh my god! it's danielle's so-called life! patty tells camille that everything is fine, over the phone. she asks her to look in on the kids, and to get the handcuffs she left by the bed so the kids don't find them. cheryl and neil are fighting at the breakfast table when graham and patty join them. patty suggests ice skating as the day's activity. she eventually wheedles them into going along. angela doesn't believe that the handcuffs belong to her parents, despite rickie's smirk of affirmation. danielle is not even close to being convinced that she should leave the room. then the doorbell rings. it's the czerski ladies. angela tries to keep camille away from the parental bedroom. cheryl and patty discuss fulfillment, but then the scene cuts to patty planning the weekend. neil and cheryl whine about the bthe distraction. sharon looks extremely confused by the whole thing. camille, by some miracle, is fooled, after a momentary worry about rayanne being a bad influence. patty chats with the owner of the bhandcuffs. he immediately leaves again and tells his friend about the scene inside the bedroom. remarks about the key to the handcuffs are misinterpreted. patty has flowers in her hair now. the owner returns, asking them menacingly if he can get them anything else. patty is too lit to notice the menace in his voice, and asks for ice cream. then she pours her drink on herself and laughs obnoxiously. patty starts to remove her shirt, but the owner sends them to their rooms. graham and neil carry patty away, as cheryl sits drunkenly at the table, telling warren (the owner) that she really admires patty. commercials again. danielle visits rayanne. danielle refuses to fetch rayanne liquor, and says her parents think she's a bad influence. rayanne explains her philosophy of life to danielle. danielle gives rayanne some cracker jacks. graham packs. the camera, representing patty's poor hung over head shoots him sideways. they've been asked to leave. angela wanders into the bedroom. rayanne and danielle are curled up together. cheryl and graham have already broken up. brian "only has to take apart the headboard". the bed collapses. thud. patty confusedly berates graham for leaving her alone, and for fixing hallie's car and stuff. rayanne is finally freed. rayanne and angela tug of war with rayanne's bag. then the phone rings and danielle informs them that mom will be home in twenty minutes. frantic cleaning ensues. patty and graham arrive to find a large cluster of teens and danielle on their bed, watching tv. graham and patty lie about their weekend. so do all the teenagers. danielle finally finds the key, and it is transferred rapidly to rayanne, who divests herself of the satanic handcuffs. the room clears of younger people. graham and patty fall onto the bed. and land on the handcuffs. clicking sounds come through the door. then. "where's the key" rayanne and angela reverse roles. angela retrieves the key from rayanne: "i *knew* you couldn't resist!" angela thanks danielle and gives her a big smile. about time. danielle gets the animaniacs reference! "so, what are we gonna do next weekend?" (think pinky and the brain =) ) stay tuned for scenes from the season finale of "my so-called life"! ** jordan has to apologize to angela. brian advises him about what to write. hallie and graham prepare to kiss. rickie tells brian "tell her how you feel". angela stares stunnedly at brian. ** patty is subjected to a fishing program as graham searches for the key. graham goes looking for wire shears in the wrong place, and bass fishing narrative plays under different music for the end credits. pardon me if i missed something important. i was probably laughing too hard =) i have not laughed that hard in a *long* time. not since i watched my brother's copies of "blackadder goes fourth", anyway =) love and handcuffs, --dogbert dennis nedblake - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu "well, either sex or a conversation - ideally both." --angela chase, "My so-called Life" (It was hanging on my bulletin board all along.) It was funny, but I don't think I really dug it. I mean, it's not really what I've come to expect from this show. But as someone else mentioned, I guess it was fun to just hang with the Chases. I notice that Camille refers to "That Hallie Lowenthal Person", just as Patty used to refer to Rayanne as "That Rayanne person." I also notice that Graham calls her Hallie Lowenthal, not "Hallie"....kinda like the "Jordan Catalano" thing. Tonights repeated lines: Angela to Patty, and Neil to Graham: "That was so long ago. I can't believe you're still talking about that." Graham to Patty, and Rayanne to Ricky: I love sex in/on a different bed." I like the fact that both Rayanne and Graham repeated a line about sex. They are also connected via mustard. The more I think about it, the more I realize that there are lots of (albeit superficial) similarities between Graham and Rayanne's sexuality. I loved the thing about the dryer, btw. My brother and I once did that to kids we used to babysit for. Highly traumatic. Patty: "I don't want to come home and find anyone in an appliance". (handcuffs=appliance??) Was anyone else bothered by the fact that Camille was more concerned with Rayanne's "drinking problem" than the fact that she might be deathly ill? And why/how did Sharon figure out what was going on? I figured that there must have been a wink from Rayanne that was edited out. Is Patty just a little bit too jealous, or what? That sweater thing put me over the top. I guess it's just to point out that she is now in "jealousy mode". Graham: "Aw, honey, you said 'hooch'--in a sentence." Silly, but funny. The drunk Patty was a bit annoying--Bess Armstrong is not, IMO, a great actress. I did find the things she said when trashed to be revealing in an interesting way, though. That whole thing about Graham being a food snob was pretty right on. I loved the scene between Rayanne and Danielle. It was like Danielle was Rayanne's Angela substitute, and Rayanne was Danielle's Angela substitute. Danielle really wants to be close to her big sister. And as for the "Is Rayanne Bi?" debate, I notice that Rayanne slept with Danielle, her Angela substitute. Hmmmm. So Rayanne "sleeps with Danielle" in much the same way she and Jordan slept with each other.... to get to Angela. Hmmmm. I loved the way Angela finds them in the morning. And just the way the two of them interacted with Danielle refusing to get booze for Rayanne (as an "Adult" Patty gets wasted). I think this was my favorite part of this episode. It was somehow the most true...or the most true to MSCL-form. Not so set up and fake feeling. The fight scene between Angela and Rayanne was great too. I'm glad that they are not just jumping back into being best friends. It seems much more realistic this way. I like this tension between them. It's always so intense when two people who are so close get into a fight. "I can't believe you. You're like this curse that's destroying my life....You're like this living, breathing, bad luck omen." Whew! Patty's slip about Graham looking under Hallie's hood when she was supposed to be bitching about being left behind all day was pretty right on, too. Don't you just hate it when that happens? I loved Danielle grabbing the key. She is so cool. Patty WOULD find the one thing out of place--the cracker jack box-- when she came home. So, we've got a parallel between Graham and Rayanne. Danielle is suddenly kind of cool (and oh-so grown up). Brian and Rayanne in bed together--and Kyle and his friend (who, btw, I think may be played by AJ Langer's real-life boyfriend) know it. Rayanne and Danielle in bed together. (Rayanne and Danielle sleeping with their surrogate Angelas.) Ehhh.....neither a thumb up or a thumb down. Can't wait until next week, and the Fall (because I AM thinking positively). Heidi-Ho -- ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ H. A. Paulsen paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu SUNY@Buffalo English Dept. ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This was a reasonably static episode there are certainly no huge revelations illuminated this time, and the only significant thread continuation is the (apprently now final) resolution of the hostilities between Angela and Rayanne. However, this is by far the *funniest* thing I've seen for a long time, other media (movies, comics, etc.) included. At long, awaited last, Danielle gets her hour in the spotlight -- sort of. In her case, being in the spotlight means being on camera while everyone else ignores her. At the risk of offending the drooling Claire Danes fans (of whom I'm probably one, although somewhat less on the drooling end of the spectrum), I think Lisa Wilhoit is every bit the fantastic actress that Claire Danes is, and it's good to see her finally getting more air time. Unfortunately, the light-hearted mood of the episode isn't really all that conducive to extensive characterization, so we really just see (and hear) her acting like, well, Danielle, whom we've pretty much understood all along anyway. She certainly isn't able to flaunt her talents the way she did in the Hallowe'en episode, but she does a more than adequate job with what she's given. We're thrown two bits of continuity this episode: Rickie still continues to live at Katimsky's (will they make this official, I wonder, or is he staying there, unbeknownst to the record-keeping authorities?), and the tension between Angela and Rayanne still exists to a point (and was not resolved, as we may have expected, by the Our Town juxtapositions of last week). Rayanne seems willing to forgive and forget, but the revelation of the previous week (the importance of Angela in her life) seems to have fallen by the wayside. And no matter how much Rickie denies being on Angela's side, I think he's fed up with the continual stream of aggravations that Rayanne seems to inflict on everyone around her. Actually, I suppose there's a third -- when Patty is apologizing for her rowdy drunkenness (and boy, is *she* sloppy -- maybe she was playing the drinking game), she claims to have been flustered because she had been left alone while Graham was busy "checking under her hood" -- an exceptionally well-written Freudian slip. Aside from these points, however, the rest of the show is pure humor. It's been a long time since I've really laughed out loud while watching or doing anything, so I enjoyed this episode. The list of significant quotes on the Web page certainly needs updating! Some paraphrased favorites of mine: "The last time I left the two of you alone, I came back and discovered that you'd shoved Danielle in the dryer." "Mom, that happened so long ago I can't even believe you still talk about that. [pause]. Besides, she practically begged me to." "I don't even know where the Pleasure Center is." "I'll show you." "I'm sure Bob Krakow has a pair of wire shears. He's that kind of guy." Two best scenes: Angela feverishly trying to prevent Sharon and Camille from going upstairs into her parent's room, and, when she sees Rickie and Danielle feigning Rayanne's illness, uncontrollably doubling over trying to stop from laughing. I still chuckle to myself when I see the expression on her face. Please, someone, give this girl an Emmy! Danielle finding the key to the handcuffs, and deftly hugging Patty while passing the key to Angela, who then passes it to everyone else in the room. And they showed next episode previews! First the Japan earthquake, then this. Surely the Armageddon is upon us. B) My current extrapolatory thoughts: I still think Graham's in no danger of having an affair. He was still romantic with Patty this episode -- if anything, the danger in the marriage is on Patty's side, since she believes herself to be neglected and continually harbors suspicions about Graham and Hallie. As for Brian, I suspect it's never crossed his mind that any failures he's had with pursuing a relationship with Angela have arisen from the fact that Angela doesn't know that he's interested in her. Kevin. 1. "I'm an adult," says Patty, "I'm not gonna break the rules." Thank you, Mrs. Chase... but I couldn't find any adults in this episode. That's one of the great things about "MSCL." It shows that one never reaches that mythical stage of "adulthood," that one's identity still grows and re-forms, no matter what the age. And also, there's no age limit on being a jerk. 2. I think Patty's drunken "in vino veritas" scene works as a companion piece to Angela's dressing up as Rayanne and putting the moves on Corey last week. Both were extremely out of character, almost desperate actings out by two people who usually keep a pretty tight lid of public displays of emotion and inner turmoil. 3. Touching exchange between Cheryl and Patty over "choices" (felt like I was watching a New Jersey Bell Yellow Pages spot with James Earl Jones). Was Cheryl (a really boneheaded inarticulate version of Hallie Lowenthal) actually praising Patty for making the right choices in work, marriage, motherhood? Or putting Mrs. Chase down, defining her life as uninteresting? Patty probably assumed the latter, hence the drinking binge. But, like Michael Steadman on "thirtysomething," Patty has done the right thing, the expected thing, with her life. She's chosen a controlled, secure path but when you walk that way you just carry a different sort of burden. If you're an American, especially if you're a Baby Boomer, you think you're gonna grow up and have no problems. You think, if I do the right thing, I'll be rewarded. Or, if I'm "bad," I'll have a lotta fun and a lotta freedom. Patty's made this conscious decision not to be an Amber Graf, but to be "responsible." And she feels like she's gotta justify herself at every turn. Like the whole thing with the negligee. "It's not me," she says. It's tough for her to step out of this role she's assigned herself. (The Czerskys-- mother and daughter-- are so much more worldly than the Chases. Camille and Sharon both play sexual advisor to Patty and Angela.) 4. Patty *is* worried that she's not exciting or adventurous enough to keep her husband. She *is* concerned that she's not getting anywhere in life. She has to control everything, down to every second of their weekend trip. And Angela was probably worried that she's not exciting or adventurous enough to be cool. And she started hanging out with Rickie, Rayanne, Jordan, etc. 5. The Danielle-Rayanne parallels are cool. You can see this nascent rebellion and cunning on Danielle's face. She's gonna be a lot more adventurous than Angela, maybe get into a whole lot more trouble. She's more action-oriented. Let's face it, Angela never could have orchestrated that key exchange. At long last, Danielle gets to have a little fun with the big kids. (Love the contrasting assessments of the weekend. For Angela, it was the weekend from hell for Danielle, it was the best one of her life.) 6. Whatever. Last night's episode wasn't awfully profound. It was just funny. It was an episode where no one had a major revelation and no one was deeply hurt. It mainly marked time, allowed Brian to save the day for once, and developed Danielle's character a bit. The handcuffs episode should prove to be the calm before the storm. Next week's season finale is gonna tie together a lotta major plot threads. The Angela-Jordan-Brian and the Graham-Hallie-Patty triangles are both gonna blow up. I can't wait. --Stu Thanks to dogbert, Heidi, Kevin, and Stuart! My So-Called Life: E19 My So-Called Life Episode Guide In Dreams Begin Responsibilities Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain, and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry til the day I die. And I hate this *pen* [ahah!] I'm holding, because I should be holding you. And I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you wanna hate me, go ahead. If you wanna burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell. I'd go. If you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano Angela: "This is some sort of sick joke to you, isn't it! I can't believe I almost fell for it!" Brian: "No, I meant every word. I mean, the person who wrote it meant every word. Probably." Angela: "But you just said -- " Brian: "Forget what I just said. Forget this whole conversation!" Angela (softly): "How?" Brian: "Besides -- it made you happy, right?" Angela (again, softly): "Yes." Brian: "Well, that's probably all that's important. I mean -- to the person who wrote the letter. Or something." opening credits i didn't like the theme music the first time i listened to it. needless to say, it's grown on me. =) commercials angela awakens from a dream about jordan, where she's trying to catch up with him, but it's hard, because there's something wrong with the floor. sometimes her father is there. sometimes her great-aunt's funeral kind of gets mixed in with it. the end is always the same. she catches up, yells and screams, and he stands not caring, like someone caught in a storm. then she wakes up. danielle burns her bagel. nobody really wants to know what patty dreamed. delia had a dream about rickie. they were dancing in a big vegetable garden. delia mistakenly thinks sharon is friends with rayanne. graham is sort of peeved with hallie for not telling him that the investors want to get rid of him. hallie admits her faults to patty, who arrived with lunch. patty offers the help of an old boyfriend with counselling them on how to get the restauraunt started. graham comes back, and threatens to cook for the investors. mr. katimsky tries to entice the class with extra credit reading. angela pointedly ignores jordan when he tries to start a conversation. jordan still hasn't figured out the difference between 'brian' and 'brain'. brian asks sharon how delia is. sharon explains the situation very very clearly. frozen embryos are now residue. angela wonders why jordan is still talking to her. he leaves in a combination of self-disgust and disappointment. sharon and angela discuss their dreams. sharon calls angela "chase face". mr. katimsky badgers angela about selling tickets to "our town". jordan discusses angela with brian. jordan is still upset. brian tries to not help jordan but does so accidentally. brian gets a little upset, but jordan calms him down, and they begin to work independent of each other. but then brian looks up... "what have you got so far?" commercials rickie thinks rayanne is unhappy. she disagrees. rickie tries to get brian to sell tickets to "our town". delia appears, and tries to talk to rickie, but brian keeps interrupting. brian tells rickie that delia has a crush on him. rickie seems sort of amused by the prospect. angela and danielle spy on patty as she converses with 'tony'. they sneak up and shock her. she ends up showing them a photo album. angela thinks he's cute. patty goes through her dream for them, leaving out the naughty bits. angela adapts the situation to her own life. patty explains the situation to the girls. angela doesn't seem to believe that pattycake was a wild teenager. and her feelings seem to mirror angela's, from angela's expression. graham finally appears at the door. patty tells graham about tony. graham tells her about cooking for the investors. sharon asks angela about rickie. angela is noncommital. brian advises jordan on what to say to angela. he trys to avoid psychoanalysis. then jordan takes off after angela. and uses brian's words, sort of. in a modified manner. angela is impressed with his eloquence, but it seems that jordan is in over his head - angela wants to continue the discussion, as brian peeks at them around a door. jordan runs away in fear of "a serious discussion". commercials now claire gets to do the "abc's my so-called life isn't over yet" bit =) jordan discusses the problem with brian. brian advises him to write her a letter. but then has to be sad-puppydog-looked into submission. angela discusses her conversation with rickie - rayanne appears and asks for a poster, which rickie has just come up with. angela almost is friendly, but runs away at the last minute. rayanne is upset by it. rickie tells brian about the jordan-angela situation. brian lets rickie in on his secret. rickie is insightful. delia appears and flirts with rickie. rickie is wistful - this could be his chance to be straight. graham and hallie argue about what to serve these mysterious investors and somehow segueway into discussing flirting, in re patty. hallie advises graham to act jealous. brian sits alone in the hallway at school at night, then picks up an abandoned poster and begins composing a letter to angela on the back of it. and then gives it to jordan, who copies it down. he even keeps it in simple, convincingly jordan-like language. angela finds the letter. she loves it. bus riders debark. angela is glowing again. brian is subtle, inquring what angela is reading. angela is oblivious. so oblivious that she doesn't even pick up on the not-subtle hints that he drops accidentally. brian does not feel good. angela goes and catches jordan. jordan seems to be about to tell her, but when she tells him she loved the letter, he stops, and explains the situation as best he can, in his own words. she kisses him. and brian watches from the other end of the hall. commercials i think we've been leaving out discussion of devon g. the kid is *good*... those looks of horrific soul pain are totally convincing. brian looks sick. rickie tries to get his attention. and almost fails. brian is philosophical about j dan. they talk about what he did. patty doesn't think he meant to hurt angela. he articulates his feelings. slowly and grudgingly, but he articulates them. and then he uses 'ironic' correctly! after brian had to explain it to him earlier! the investors like graham's cooking. a lot. rickie and katimsky drop off angela. who notices (how could she avoid it) the car of jordan. patty answers the phone. "if that's a guy named tino, i'm not here," but it's graham. he asks how tony was - patty doesn't tell him that he didn't come, and is glad that graham is jealous. hallie doesn't believe it. graham doesn't either. they hug. they almost sort of come close to kissing, but graham runs away! yay graham! (no prejudice on my part, huh?) angela finds brian outside. she confronts him about the letter. he admits nothing. but then, he lets slip that he meant every word. and then he orders her to forget every word. man. she *didn't* realize how he felt. they have a sort of mildly heart-wrenching talk, and what makes it even worse is, when jordan arrives, she goes along with him. and then it fades to black. commercials end credits. they didn't just do that to me. yes they did. they are all bastards. true bastards of the first water. motherscratchers. they just *had* to leave it hanging, didn't they? well, yeah. i suppose they did. =) love and big red cars, --dogbert dennis nedblake - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu "aaaah! stapler misfire!" --dilbert Wow. I am so sad and so amazed. How strange that one thing can inspires so many feelings. How "ironic" that this last episode (of the season) should be one of the very best. Another one that made me cry..... I'm going to quote the text of the dreams. I know they are long, but as a student of Freud's methods and of semiotics, I believe that the *words* themselves are so very important. Words are what we use to tell the story of our dreasm (to translate them.) And obviously, the words themselves played a very big part in tonight's episode. I would also like to point out that dreams are an expression of wish fulfillment. Each of these dreams reflects a wish on the part of the dreamer. Each dream also defines the relationship between the dreamer and other people. There is a main person in each dream who the dreamer wishes to get to know. This episode is about dreams and what they signify. "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities." ANGELA'S DREAM "In the dream I keep having about Jordan Catalano I'm trying to *catch up with him*....but it's hard, because there's something wrong with the floor [shows shoes glued to the floor]. Sometimes my father's there. Sometimes my great Aunt Gertrude's funeral kinda gets mixed into it. The end of the dream is always the same: *I catch up with him*. I yell and scream--how he hurt and betrayed me, how I can never forgive him. He just stands there, like someone caught in a storm who's stopped caring how wet he gets. Then I wake up. The *storm of words* still pounds through my body." The idea of "catching up with" Jordan is interesting. In what sense(s) has this already been an issue? Most obviously sex is an area in which Angela is "behind" Jordan. I'm sure there's a lot more to this. I mean, dreams are such strange things. They are not always, or even usually, what they seem. This bit seems obvious, but there is a lot of significance in chasing someone, in not being able to move, in a barrage of words which are ignored, in seeming invisible. I also found the reference to the funeral to be very intriguing. Why a funeral in a dream about Jordan Catalano? It seems to me that this symbolizes Angela's mourning of her loss of Jordan. Pretty straight- forward. As for her parents being there, I'm not sure. Maybe it has something to do with feelings that she lost Jordan because of the way her parents brought her up. Not to treat sex lightly, etc. As for the scene with Graham and Jordan both turning around to look at her: hilarious!! They were dressed the same, walking the same way, and both in perfect sync with each other. Echoes of the scene where Graham opens the door to find Jordan standing on the porch in the "Self Esteem" episode. Again, they seem to be versions of each other. One could also read into this a "Phaedra complex" (the "pink" version of the Oedipus complex). Transfering the libidinal cathexis from the father to the husband and all that. Very interesting (say I as i take a puff of my cigar and lean back in my chair). And then there is the idea of words within this dream. Angela refers to it as a "storm of words". Words are crucial. She is throwing words. Later Jordan adopts someone else's words as his own. Her words "wet" him and he has "stopped caring how wet he gets". Words fill the gap between us. Words create order from chaos. Words are power. ******************************************************************** Angela: Hatred can become like food. It gives you this energy. You can, like, live off it. Someone once said that there is a thin line between love and hate. It's interesting to imagine that what Angela is really talking about here is love. Or passion. Later, Jordan will say to Brian that Angela is "like starved, or something." This is in reference to the fact that she wanted more from him after his initial confrontation with her in the hallway. Amazingly perceptive of him to pick up on this. He knows that she need him...his love...his passion. ********************************************************************* Loved the way Graham and Patty both looked at Angela when she says "Go dad!" in the kitchen. No one wants to hear about Patty's dream...hmmmmmm. DELIA'S DREAM Dancing with Rickie in a big vegetable garden "wearing a dress I saw on "The (non-ABC TV show) Nanny". (In other words, a skimpy dress, which may indicate a dissatisfaction with her own appearance.) This dream foreshadows Delia and Rickie's involvement. I don't know exactly what the vegetable garden means....too bad it wasn't an orchard (teehee). Sharon: "I'm not friends with Rayanne Graff." Words without meaning. Patty brought lunch for the food snobs. Loved Graham's reaction. Graham echoes Hallie's idea about cooking for the backers. Seems to me that Patty noticed this. ********************************************************************** Jordan is still calling him "Brain". What people call each other here has so much significance. It will mean *something* when Jordan gets Brian's name straight. "I'm a rudimentary reader with low literacy skills." (Not dyslexic?) Someone had better translate that into English for Jordan before he embarrasses himself. Angela. . Delia | . . | | . Brian . | | . . | Jordan . .Rickie Brian is the center of so much of the action. Interestingly, no one dreams about him. Jordan's band is now called "Residue". Major improvement. Wonder if Tino is singing. Angela about Mr. Katimsky: "He just wears you down." SHARON'S DREAM "Last night I dreamed that Rayanne Graff and I were like appearing in this water ballet together, for like charity." Dancing around each other? Sounds like a good way of putting how they relate to each other. The charity part is probably just because it's Sharon's dream. Her dream (as do all the others) foreshadows her confrontation with Rayanne in the bathroom. ************************************************************************* Jordan to Brian about his failed attempt at reconciliation with Angela in Katimsky's: "I didn't know what to say." Words again. Jordan doesn't have them. When Brian is amazed at Jordan's not being able to say he's sorry, I got a flashback to "Happy Days". It's kind of like Jordan is Fonzi (who, you may recall, could never say the phrase "I was wrong) and Brian is Richie Cunningham. Jordan: What's "ironic"? Brian: When you realize the component of weirdness in a situation. Remember this definition. It's interesting that Jordan has such an amazing capacity to learn and yet has done so poorly in school. He too is starved for something. Jordan: "Help me figure out something good to say to Angela." Brian's words = Jordan's thought process. Again. I know I harp on this all the time, but here we see this so very concretely. ****************************************************************** Love the scene when Rickie backhands Brian in the chest. Brian: Ooooooowwwwww. (Said in a very whiny way.) It's interesting how Brian's behavior with the Delia/Rickie situation mirrors Rickie's behavior with the Cory/Angela situation. And Rickie even "goes for" Delia, knowing that Brian is still interested in her. PATTY'S DREAM "I was taking out the garbage and suddenly I realized there's someone there. It's Princess Diana [looking more like Fergie...or maybe Prince Charles in drag]." Angela: "Oh, not the Princess Di dream!" "Anyway, she's all upset about the divorce and everything. And she keeps saying, 'Princesses just don't get divorced.' And I say, 'I know, I know.' And then I see him...Tony. And then I think, 'Wow, he looks just the same'...and ...that's all I remember." [Tony has much the same kind of look as Jordan, btw.] This dream foreshadows the meeting of Patty and Jordan. Tony Poul is Patty's Jordan. I think that Angela's relationship with Jordan, along with all the other issues that have come up lately, may be causing Patty to speculate about what her life would be like if she had not "chosen to make her life with" Graham. Interesting that Danielle picks up on the word "divorce". Danielle is much like Jordan in this way. She may seem ignorant (due to her young age), but she is amazingly perceptive about her environment. This may be due to (as with Jordan) a strong survival instinct. The Princess Di thing is hilarious. Patty thinks she's Princess Di, doesn't she? There was a Princess Di reference in the "Self Esteem" episode, the only other episode in which Patty got near Jordan. Wonder if there's a connection. Patty: It's always tempting to lose yourself with someone who's maybe lost themselves. But eventually, you want reality. She is speaking about her choice of Graham (stability) over Tony (adventure). She speaks directly to Angela's situation. ****************************************************************** Rayanne and Angela are still avoiding each other. Glad to see that we are spared some kind of last minute wrap-up of a reconciliation. (gotta leave something for next season). "An *unconscious" wish to punish you." This is exactly what dreams are about. Unconscious wishes (dreams serve as a sort of filter which allows certain unconscious and often "dangerous" thoughts to come to the conscious "surface"....it works by displacement and condensation. All of the stuff that seems misplaced and weird in dreams is an effort by the mind to trick the part of the brain that censors our thoughts into allowing painful things up into the conscious mind) and wish fulfullment. That's the stuff that dreams are made of. [Jordan's flashcards: guitar, harmonica, rhythm] Angela to Rickie about Jordan's attempt at reconciliation in the hall: "Rickie, it was like a dream. You will not believe the brilliantly insightful *words* that came out of his mouth." It's interesting, it's not as if Jordan doesn't think of these things himself. I think he does. He just cannot articulate them. How many times has Brian put into words what Jordan cannot say? (Think back to Jordan's epiphany in the class on Shakespeare's sonnet. He realized how he felt about Angela and could express the feeling, but he could not really put it into any sort of metaphorical context.) So it is no surprise to me when Jordan says to Angela after she has read the letter: "I have all these dreams where I know exactly what to say." Their relationship has been about a lack of communication all along. The rest of what Angela says to Rickie in the conversation above goes like this: "And then, just as I'm realizing that there's hope, that we could actually communicate--he runs away." I've said all along that these two must first learn to communicate before they can really be together as a couple. Remember how they sat there not talking to each other in that abandoned house while they waited for a room? *That* is what's wrong with them. Both of them. Angela is a talker, but she clams up around Jordan because of his reticence. This is not who she really is, and she would never be comfortable playing this role long term. Rickie brings up the idea that Brian is using Jordan to express his feelings for Angela. (Kind of like what Rayanne did. Uh oh.) **************************************************************************** THE LETTER Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain, and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry til the day I die. And I hate this *pen* [ahah!] I'm holding, because I should be holding you. And I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you wanna hate me, go ahead. If you wanna burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell. I'd go. If you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano ****************************************************************************** Angela to Ricky about Jordan after she read the letter: "Oh my God. There is so much more to this person *than I ever dreamed*. First of all, Jordan could never write such a thing. He could think it, but articulate it? Never. She wants to believe that he thinks these things about her. He does. But the real key is: does she need him to be able to say them? I believe she does. I think that Jordan's lack of articulation will always be a sticking point for Angela, unless he changes, of course. But people must want to change. a big lesson I've learned in my life is that you can't change anyone. Angela has done a lot to change Jordan already, and it's been good for him. But can it ever be enough? When she finally *catches up to Jordan*, in an echo of her dream, he attempts to tell her the truth about the letter. But she cuts him off. (More proof that she wants an articulate Jordan). I was really bothered by Angela throughout this episode, and this is the issue. She just seemed so false. Her gushing over "Jordan's" letter really bothered me. I guess this falseness seemed to represent to me the fact that Angela may not want Jordan for who he really is, but who she wants him to be. I was also annoyed with Jordan for so casually deceiving Angela. But he redeemed himself by attempting to tell her the truth. Interesting to think how desperate Jordan is, that he would resort to lying--something he said (in the "Self Esteem" episode) that he never does. His speech to Patty later sheds some light on who he is and how much he needs Angela. And don't forget that Angela really has saved Jordan from the sort of "death" that dropping out of school would have engendered. **They are back together as a couple and not just as friends. Rickie: Oh, so they're back together? Brian: Yup. Of course she's still gonna die someday. We're all gonna die. I was laughing so hard. How ironic that Brian would say to Rickie (of all people): "If you analyze why certain people end up with certain other people, it'll make you wanna kill yourself." [Something tells me that we're gonna get a suicide attempt out of Brian next season. You heard it here first.] *************************************************************************** RAYANNE AND SHARON This scene relates to Sharon's dream. Interesting that Sharon appreciates Rayanne's "refreshing" unshockablility. It is true that one can say anything to Rayanne and not be made to feel shameful, or whatever. I like the fact that Sharon came through for Rayanne when she needed her. I want to see the relationship between these two develop. There's so much chemistry there. RICKIE AND DELIA Oh my god, did I cry! I must quote this scene in its entirety. D: You're gay, right? R: I try not to...um...I don't like...yeah, I'm gay. I just don't usually say it like that. D: How do you usually say it? R: I don't usually say it. I mean, I've never actually said it out loud. D: Wow, I feel kind of honored. What an amazing scene. Glad that Rickie finally came out all the way. ************************************************************************ PATTY AND JORDAN So.....Pattycake and Jesus Christ FINALLY get to meet. I guess those triangles are finally getting squared up. I'm so glad that this happened. This really MADE this episode for me. I would have been left feeling kind of strange if they hadn't tied up this loose end. And the timeing could not have been better. I think that Patty thinks she's having a flashback as she answers the door to Jordan--who she is expecting to be Tony Poul. Didn't it seem as though she might have thought it was him at first? So, Angela is in Patty's "Tony phase". Will she end up with a Graham? (What is a Graham? Equal parts Jordan and Brian? Maybe an articulate Jordan would be a better solution...I mean, Patty is feeling real attracted to the cleaned-up Tony Poul.) I love the fact that Jordan and Patty relate to each other so well. I am almost surprised that she likes him. But I think (in relation to Jordan) we are seeing Patty as she was before she settled down. Also, Patty forgives Jordan for his sin, because she's been there. Loved that. Jordan: It's like you think you're safe or something cause you can just...walk away anytime. Because you don't, like, need her. You don't need anyone. But the thing you didn't realize is: you're wrong." I was trying to figure out Patty's reaction to this. She seems to be commiserating. I think the trick is that Jordan says all of this in the second person. His use of the word "you" allows Patty to put herself in his place. She too has protected herself from pain by not letting people in. This is what Jordan, the abused child, has done. Until he meets Angela, who rips away that "too cool" facade. He has grown dependant on her way of expecting more from him than he has ever given before. Patty seems to be able to relate to this. Loved the line: "Do you always wear this much make-up?" The timing was perfect: right at the end of Jordan's very serious speech. Patty's story about Tony's driving truly was "ironic". "This was a person who drove so recklessly when he was 17 that my parents wanted him dead". I'm not so sure of why Jordan finds it ironic (maybe he's just testing out the word. He's a quick study, isn't he?), but in terms of all of Patty's and Graham's concerns about the issue of Jordan having a car and what can be done in a car, it is. Graham: Is he [Tony] still there? What was is like...seing him again? Patty (looking at Jordan): Like old times. Ahaaa!! *********************************************************************** ANGELA AND BRIAN What I wannna know is: what would have happened if Jordan hadn't shown up? Looked like she was gonna kiss him. Interesting that the last scene of the season (!) is of Brian on his bicycle and Jordan re -- the cinematographic jerkiness (I don't know about the rest of you, but *I* dream in real-time), and the decided muting of color (it was there, but it looked like they were filming through some sort of neutral-density filter). I guess we've got to show the general viewing audience that it's a dream in more traditional depictions. Add to the quotes file: "Hatred is like food. It gives you this energy that you can, like, live off of." danielle burns her bagel. nobody really wants to know what patty dreamed. Oddly enough, Danielle gets more attention than Patty in this scene -- think she stuck the fork into the toaster just to get people to look at her? B) delia had a dream about rickie. they were dancing in a big vegetable garden. delia mistakenly thinks sharon is friends with rayanne. We finally get around to this (apparently hanging) thread from the World Happiness Dance -- Rickie and Delia seemed to be having a really good time back then, but nothing really came out of it. Apparently, this has been brewing in the back of her mind for some time (notice that her dream was about *dancing* with him). Sharon seems reluctant to admit that she's friendly with Rayanne, even though they've been informal confidantes for almost half the series. graham is sort of peeved with hallie for not telling him that the investors want to get rid of him. hallie admits her faults to patty, who arrived with lunch. patty offers the help of an old boyfriend with counselling them on how to get the restauraunt started. graham comes back, and threatens to cook for the investors. Damn, but Graham has fire in him this episode! Or as Angela so aptly put it, "Go, Dad!" mr. katimsky tries to entice the class with extra credit reading. angela pointedly ignores jordan when he tries to start a conversation. jordan still hasn't figured out the difference between 'brian' and 'brain'. Jordan in this one scene has probably spoken more words than he has the entire series. For once, his twisting shiftiness is actually indicative of nervousness rather than affected "cool", and I actually felt pretty bad for the boy. He's obviously repentant and wants to make good, but he's just horribly inept at it -- he's almost stooped to the level of Brian. In the flurry of words that he's spouting out, not a single one of them mentions apology, though. He completely withers under Sharon's gaze. Brian runs away before she even starts to glance his way. Thing that made me go "wow": Sharon's empathetic "Chase-face, you're shaking." Thing that made me snicker: "Frozen Embryos" is now "Residue". The obvious joke is that the last time we'd seen them, the drummer had bolted (in addition to Rayanne's stage fright). Wonder who's left over now? Thing that I noticed that I probably shouldn't have: when I watched the episode for the second time, I noticed that the word that Katimsky was correcting on the board was "vituperative", meaning, "severely abusive or censuring". The overtones here suggest throwbacks to Rickie's situation in Resolutions, or possibly a current allusion to Angela's cold indifference to Jordan's feeble attempts at reconciliation. brian asks sharon how delia is. sharon explains the situation very very clearly. There's an ambiguity here that I'm not sure how to interpret. Brian's sudden obsession with Delia makes me wonder if a) he's decided to stick with the affordable wallpaper or b) whether he's figured out what a scummy trick he pulled at the World Happiness Dance. Of course, the two may be linked, since if she's forgiving, she may take him back. Given what Sharon says, though (and Delia's incessant questions about Rickie), this doesn't seem likely. sharon and angela discuss their dreams. sharon calls angela "chase face". mr. katimsky badgers angela about selling tickets to "our town". Katimsky's expression was just pure joy. Angela: "He just wears me down." A possible double meaning, of course. jordan discusses angela with brian. jordan is still upset. brian tries to not help jordan but does so accidentally. brian gets a little upset, but jordan calms him down, and they begin to work independent of each other. but then brian looks up... "what have you got so far?" I was really worried about this episode, because Cyrano de Bergerac take-offs (like any other emulated piece of famous literature) are amazingly simple to screw up. But Brian's inadvertent aid to Jordan sounded authentic rather than set-up, and his willingness to help Jordan seemed genuine rather than consciously self-serving. rickie thinks rayanne is unhappy. she disagrees. rickie tries to get brian to sell tickets to "our town". delia appears, and tries to talk to rickie, but brian keeps interrupting. brian tells rickie that delia has a crush on him. rickie seems sort of amused by the prospect. Rayanne, the ever-forgetful (it seems), doesn't really seem to be thankful that Brian managed to get her out of trouble the last episode. But then again, she's an "up, happy person". Rather than amusement, Rickie seems pleased that Delia has taken an interest in him. angela and danielle spy on patty as she converses with 'tony'. they sneak up and shock her. she ends up showing them a photo album. angela thinks he's cute. patty goes through her dream for them, leaving out the naughty bits. angela adapts the situation to her own life. patty explains the situation to the girls. angela doesn't seem to believe that pattycake was a wild teenager. and her feelings seem to mirror angela's, from angela's expression. graham finally appears at the door. "Mom, who was that?" "Mom, why are you blushing?" "Mom, you sounded, like, totally different just now." The following scene, however, with Patty and the girls poring over the old photo album was amazingly riddled with levels of meaning. For one thing, we get a good glimpse of how the Chase women view their family life. Danielle, like a typical child, has nightmares that her parents might get divorced. Angela dismisses it out-of-hand (because she is certain of her parents' faithfulness, or because she wants to protect her younger sister? Remember, Angela is the only person in the family who has an inkling that her father may have contemplated or had an affair). But most of all, there are drawn parallels between Patty's teen life and Angela's. Angela: "Just because you're not, like, involved with someone doesn't mean that you don't, like, care for them." The dream was hilarious. Notice that the trash flew up and away. Princess Di seemed to be a symbol for Patty herself, who is very "princess-y" in many ways. Of course, Patty "doesn't remember how [the dream] ends." Snicker. patty tells graham about tony. graham tells her about cooking for the investors. sharon asks angela about rickie. angela is noncommital. brian advises jordan on what to say to angela. he trys to avoid psychoanalysis. then jordan takes off after angela. and uses brian's words, sort of. in a modified manner. angela is impressed with his eloquence, but it seems that jordan is in over his head - angela wants to continue the discussion, as brian peeks at them around a door. jordan runs away in fear of "a serious discussion". Snicker. Brian: "Don't listen to my parents -- they're psychologists. They can't be trusted." So, despite the fact that he "can't be involved", Brian is rather heavily involved again -- perhaps more than he should be. "Tell her that you're scum, that you're lower than scum, that you're not fit to lick her shoes." Whoops. "I didn't mean to be insulting." Note that here again, Jordan confronts Angela publicly (when he had tried to make headway with her earlier, he'd run away when Sharon had approached). Sharon doesn't believe it's possible. Angela isn't quite sure. Rickie, god-like Rickie, immediately catches on to the situation. "You're using him." Brian is indignant. "I'm using him? He's using me!" But Rickie points out the error of his ways. "Oh, my god, you're right." But sometimes, even awareness of a situation can't help the fact that we're trapped in it... jordan discusses the problem with brian. brian advises him to write her a letter. but then has to be sad-puppydog-looked into submission. Another quote: "She liked it -- but it wasn't enough. It was like she was starved, or something." An allusion to Angela's "hunger" for hatred. That gaze works on anybody. Even I would have written that letter if he'd looked at me like that. angela discusses her conversation with rickie - rayanne appears and asks for a poster, which rickie has just come up with. angela almost is friendly, but runs away at the last minute. rayanne is upset by it. rickie tells brian about the jordan-angela situation. brian lets rickie in on his secret. rickie is insightful. delia appears and flirts with rickie. rickie is wistful - this could be his chance to be straight. Rayanne's trademark bleached lock of hair is now a brilliant red -- more so than even Angela's hair. Unfortunately, if it's meant to be a truce flag, Angela doesn't seem to notice. graham and hallie argue about what to serve these mysterious investors and somehow segueway into discussing flirting, in re patty. hallie advises graham to act jealous. Whoa. Another highly implicative conversation. "Everything means something." Um. bus riders debark. angela is glowing again. brian is subtle, inquring what angela is reading. angela is oblivious. so oblivious that she doesn't even pick up on the not-subtle hints that he drops accidentally. brian does not feel good. Brian is about as subtle as a dumptruck filled with bricks. Of course, his enthusiasm is entirely missed by Angela, who is more amazed at the sudden materialization of deepness in Jordan. "You think that you know someone, and then suddenly, there's like more to that person than you ever dreamed." Ouch. *That's* ironic. angela goes and catches jordan. jordan seems to be about to tell her, but when she tells him she loved the letter, he stops, and explains the situation as best he can, in his own words. she kisses him. and brian watches from the other end of the hall. Jordan wants to come clean in this scene, which was exceptionally honorable of him. Unfortunately, Angela doesn't let him have the chance. i think we've been leaving out discussion of devon g. the kid is *good*... those looks of horrific soul pain are totally convincing. My heart was breaking in this scene. It seems to me that this is Brian's last-ditch effort to make some sort of difference in Angela Chase's life, whether it involves him or not. He's trying to make her happy, even at his own expense of course, he's probably read the story of Cyrano de Bergerac, and perhaps, deep down, he hopes that she'll see through the charade and into his soul. In the meanwhile, though, he continues to be on the outside, watching life pass him by. brian looks sick. rickie tries to get his attention. and almost fails. brian is philosophical about j orders brian to tell angela. brian has a twisted but extremely honorable concept of what's right. Brian is far angrier than philosophical. "She's going to die someday." Angela may be happy, but he certainly isn't. Again, Rickie tries to be the voice of reason, but Brian won't hear of it. "No. I said I'd help Jordan, and I can't go back on that." Unfortunately, his honor sounds like a hollow rationalization. Still, we have to give him credit for sticking to his guns, even if he's an idiot for doing so. sharon is upset about a run. rayanne claims to have no friends. she even imitates sharon rather convincingly. sharon is shocked by how non-shockable rayanne is. rayanne is shocked to discover that she *does* have a friend. There's a lot of confession in this scene. Rayanne finally admits that she's sorry for having done the undefendable thing, Sharon admits that she and Rayanne are friends in a fashion. There are parallels here between these two and between Brian and Jordan, since neither Jordan nor Rayanne can find it in their hearts to directly apologize to Angela, even though they've bared this particular soft spot to almost everyone else around them. Or, as Brian incredulously put it: "You can ask any girl in the school for her phone number, but you're afraid to say you're sorry to Angela Chase?" rickie teases angela about jordan. angela calls brian "the reason for all pain". rickie is subtle, wondering if angela figured it out. she didn't, and doesn't catch on quickly. Watch the smile on her face disappear when Rickie spills the news (oddly enough, Rickie, for once, isn't sufficiently aware to notice that perhaps Angela hadn't heard before he mentioned it). As soon as she has arrived, she needs to go home to sort out the impact of this new information. delia hits on rickie. rickie takes the plunge. he sounds like a bad actor. delia confronts him in the most direct possible way. "you're gay, right?" "yeah. i'm gay. i just don't usually say it like that." he doesn't usually say it like that - he doesn't usually say it at all. delia explains her feelings to rickie, about him and about brian. rickie is very nice to her. they leave katimsky's holding hands. What an amazing scene. Even though Rickie's sexuality has always been understated -- filled with implication -- this is the first time that we're really called to attention about this fact. The ambiguity about his preferences -- whether he was bisexual, or purely homosexual -- is finally resolved, and maybe for the first time in Rickie's mind as well. Rickie has always been romantically alone in this series the possibility that he could have been bisexual would have meant a huge step in the possibility that he could have a "normal" lifestyle. But it's not him -- it's not a matter of personal preference, but the way he thinks and feels. It's nice to see that Delia's retained the sense of honesty and directness that she had when they first introduced her. Somehow, her self-awareness is almost uncanny, compared to the other characters in the series. Again, she and Rickie are thrust together by circumstance. Their leaving together holding hands was truly touching. Ironically, though, even Delia admits to using someone else -- in this case, Rickie: "I guess I wanted to have a crush on someone where I wouldn't risk much." patty waits for the arrival of that guy. but no. it's jordan. "uh. hi." tony calls patty and cancels. patty was meanwhile in the middle of feeding jordan. they talk about what he did. patty doesn't think he meant to hurt angela. he articulates his feelings. slowly and grudgingly, but he articulates them. and then he uses 'ironic' correctly! after brian had to explain it to him earlier! Aside from Brian, just about every character has had some sort of heart-to-heart with Patty at some point or another in the series. Jordan, appropriately, is the last of them. Here, he is not only expressive, but he borders on eloquence in his own way. The true irony of this scene though is that he can articulate these feelings to Angela's mother, but not Angela herself. angela finds brian outside. she confronts him about the letter. he admits nothing. but then, he lets slip that he meant every word. and then he orders her to forget every word. man. she *didn't* realize how he felt. they have a sort of mildly heart-wrenching talk, and what makes it even worse is, when jordan arrives, she goes along with him. My, god, what a scene -- just when I thought the confrontation between Rickie and Delia had been something, this one completely floored me. I don't tend to get emotional about the things I watch (all right -- so I did cry a little at the end of Disney's Beauty and the Beast), but this one really had me close to tears. The dialogue and acting in this scene were superb in every way. Angela: "This is some sort of sick joke to you, isn't it! I can't believe I almost fell for it!" Brian: "No, I meant every word. I mean, the person who wrote it meant every word. Probably." Angela: "But you just said -- " Brian: "Forget what I just said. Forget this whole conversation!" Angela (softly): "How?" Brian: "Besides -- it made you happy, right?" Angela (again, softly): "Yes." Brian: "Well, that's probably all that's important. I mean -- to the person who wrote the letter. Or something." and then it fades to black. NOOOOOOO! Yeah, I know it's a season cliffhanger, but I *hate* season cliffhangers that do things like this. I know this has been a long post, but if you've gotten this far, then bear with me just a little bit longer. Please. The theme this time around is dreams, and how they mesh or do not mesh with reality (there was an apropos line in the episode about such, but I can't recall it right now). We have several characters wondering about the what might happen or what might have happened, scenes which find their parallel in the "real world". Delia pursues Rickie, Rickie finds himself pursued by someone, Angela actually does pursue and catch Jordan, Jordan finds a voice with which to speak to Angela, and finds that she forgives him, Graham realizes his dream of participating in the restaurant business. But reality, as they say, is stranger than fiction, and we suddenly find ourselves confronted with two completely unexpected (well, not to us, certainly, but to the characters in the series) developments -- the apparent attraction between Graham and Hallie, and Angela's sudden and surprising awareness that Brian Krakow feels deeply for her. There was so much allusion and multiple meaning hidden in all of the conversations in this episode that my mind reels to think of it all. This was the most superbly-written episode of the entire series I guess with all the lavish praise that I'm heaping upon it, it should be my favorite, although I think that I really enjoyed the episode with the party (the *big* party) more -- that scene where Angela calls her mother on the phone, in tears, stirs something within me whenever I think about it. I'd really like to have a get-together with some of the Atlanta fans of the show -- I'm thinking perhaps on President's Day weekend, due to scheduling problems. I've got all the episodes from "Pressure" onward (oh, except Resolutions, which I was stupid enough to tape over half of), and we've got a small, comfy living room that could probably hold about a dozen people or so for a MSCL marathon. Folks interested should e-mail me, especially if they've got the other episodes handy on tape. What would be ultimately cool would be if we could get a Thank You card addressed to the production crew and cast of the show, signed by the members of this mailing list. This would require a lot of coordination, but I envision passing the card from locale to locale, with members of that particular area signing it, and then sending it on to the next place to be signed. Again, interested folks let me know via e-mail. And, even though I think there will be ample news and speculation to keep this list reasonably active until ABC announces the decision to renew the show, I'd like to give my own thanks and best wishes to the other readers of the list for making watching this show a wonderful experience. I think we all enjoy this show because it allows us to connect -- with our own lives as well as those of others -- and this list certainly fulfills our desires in that regard. Specifically, I'd like to thank Virany for starting us up and keeping things running smoothly, to Dennis for keeping us all up to date on the happenings each week (so I wouldn't have to do it myself!), to Heidi for her insightful opinions and interpretations of the show, and to Kory for creating and maintaining our favorite TV Web page. Kevin. "Go -- now. Go." Unbelieveable. The most-anticipated episode of the season is also the best. When has that ever happened before? My so-called thoughts: 1. Brian-Jordan-Angela. Angela has caught up to Jordan. Or maybe Jordan has caught up to Angela. Or something. But their relationship has flipped out of orbit again. Jordan is losing his outsider status, the key to his allure. And Brian now seems like the man of mystery. "Have you ever completely given up on somebody...and then you go, 'Oh my God, there's so much more to this person than I ever *dreamed*.'" Angela said that to Brian about Jordan. In the final scene, though, you sense she's thinking that about Brian and how thrilled she is to be loved in that storybook epistolary way and how sad and amazed she is that Brian can't communicate it to her directly. (Angela is loved by *two* boys who can't look her in the eye.) Why is he like this? "Hatred is like food," Angela says earlier, analyzing her dream. "You can live off it." Brian's *self*-hatred is what keeps him going he defines himself as someone who's miserable. He *says* he can't betray Jordan. But he really can't yet face up to the "responsibility" of being happy, of living in reality. Like we saw in the World Happiness Dance episode, Brian is the show's most resolute dreamer, the one most disappointed by the world's imperfection. "If you analyze why certain people end up with other people, you'd want to kill yourself." Has Brian sort of killed himself in this episode? Or is this a new starting point for him? It's significant that it's his voice, not Jordan's, on the voiceover when Angela reads the letter. Perhaps he can change from "the person who wrote the letter" to "I." (BTW, Suicide and rebirth are often linked in literature, especially in some of Sylvia Plath's poetry. Brian needs to kill off the old self to let the new one grow.) 2. The final scene is quite moving and it makes a very telling point about Angela. She'd wanted to kiss Brian or do something, give him some sort of acknowledgement, and then Jordan interrupts. (Jordan is now linked with her parents. He appeared with her dad in the dream, poured out his soul to her mom in real life.) The greetings are half-hearted. Something really unprecendented was about to happen, Angela and Brian were about to bond in a new way, the world was about to turn upside down. Instead, Jordan brings everything back to normal. Once again, he plays the stud, cocky and confident, when he says, "Hey." Brian and Angela both mock him. (Her "Ey!" is so hollow and perfunctory.) But something has changed. Angela goes off in his car, looking out at Brian, looking out at the world like she's trapped inside a big glass bubble, like she's some prize on display, not a person with free will, emotions, and longings. Jordan's car, which once represented a fast life of freedom and pleasure, is now like a prison. It's not her choice anymore, her "mother says it's okay" (Jordan). Like, when she kissed Jordan in the hall, that was her choice, she was the aggressor. Now Jordan, for all his sympathetic qualities, is simply whisking her away-- she's passive again. 3. Angela likes *content*, not form (unlike Sharon or Rayanne, she's gotta be in love to have sex) and she'll never love Jordan the same way knowing that he actually fucked Rayanne but didn't actually write those words. And *she'll* never actually get mad at Jordan like she did in her dream. She looks emotionally dead while sitting in his car. At the same time, I don't see Angela and Brian as a conventional couple. She's merely gained a new appreciation of his depth and mystery, the same way she did when he comforted Sharon after Sharon's dad's heart attack. She wanted to explore that mystery more than she wanted to ride off with Jordan. After all, Brian just wanted to make her happy. Again, Angela and Brian are similar in that they are emotionally and not sexually driven. What Angela really wanted to do with Jordan was talk, y'know after Jordan's "I've done an undefendable thing" speech. Then she really wanted to talk to Brian in the last scene. She's thwarted both times. What's a girl gotta do to get a little heavy conversation around here??? 4. Devon Odessa was brilliant in this episode, especially in the scene where Jordan confronts Angela. She goes through her entire repertoire of sneers and pouts and squints and ends it with a hilarious eye-roll as she walks away. Sharon always knows what's up. Y'know, I think Sharon thinks guys are essentially stupid. She knows Kyle's a lunkhead. She has little patience for Jordan. Or for Brian (vis a vis Delia). Guys to her can be cute and fun to fuck. But her strong emotional bonds are with other women. Her body language around Angela is always fiercely protective. And her appreciation of Rayanne-- the only other worldly girl she knows-- is genuine. I didn't expect them to reconcile, but I'm glad they did. And she's not all whiney around her mother like Angela is. 5. Of all the parallels in the show, the strongest remains Angela and her mother. We know from an earlier episode that Patty had a Rayanne in her life. Now we find out (surprise!) she also had a Jordan. And that boggles Angela's mind. Patty plays the role of mother so well she sometimes forgets to show her kids that she's a person, too. 6. Is Ricky the man or what? He's just so truly mature and self-aware. And that's when he was giving Brian all that advice, before the big scene where he says he's gay. He's the only one who actually takes his own advice. He tells Delia the truth. Mind you, she has to drag it out of him, but he tells her just the same. Jordan, who "had all these dreams I knew exactly what to say," is getting there at the end when he talks to Patty. Brian ("the reason for all pain") is trying, too, but he's really afraid of exposure, he's so afraid Angela will think he's a fool. Rickie, on the other hand, just up and admits it. That's who he is. If the whole nineteen episodes accomplished anything for anybody, they taught Ricky that he's gay and it's okay to be that way. He's the one person everybody likes because of who he really is, because of his maturity, his insight, his objectivity, his morality, his faith. 7. Some other lines popped out at me. Hallie: "I don't know anything." Angela: "She had a dream about Ricky? *My* Ricky?" Graham: "Everything means something." Sharon: "Duh. Squared." 8. Wow. Or woe. It's not really over, is it? Let's all devote our collective efforts to keeping "My So-Called Life" on the air. --Sturock It's still only a few hours after the final episode (of just this season, I hope!) - so I'm sure I'll have more to say about MSCL as a whole later on. But right now I just want to say - WOW! This definitely ranks among the top shows, in fact right now I'd say it was my favourite - but part of that at least has to be that it's the latest one and it's freshest in my mind. But without a doubt, the final scene is the best scene in MSCL so far. I've often felt uncharacteristically (For me) emotional when watching the show, but several scenes involving Brian almost made me want to cry. The final scene with Angela really acknowledging Brian's feelings for her, and at least to some degree returning those feelings was the most affecting scene of the show ever, in my opinion. Intentionally or unintentionally, this is the kind of show that's going to make all of us that were determined to save the show even more determined. I -must- know what happens next!! (it's hard enough knowing I'll have to wait months, at best, to find out!) It's interesting, at the final viewing that I had with a few other people, my friend read a short piece about the show from the Globe and Mail (Canada's National Newspaper). And the writer said he's going to miss the characters of My So-Called Life "more than I'm comfy with." (paraphrasing). And it's true. There are a lot of shows I like on TV, but no other show has such an emotional weight. I care -so- much about what happens to these characters. If MSCL goes off the air, I'd feel like I lost a friend. There are other shows that I like, in completely different ways, like Law ly, "Get out of the car!" Almost immediately, though, I realized why that wish was wrong. Actually, I can think of three critical reasons (one for each person in the scene): - Jordan and Angela's reconciliation was Brian's gift to Angela. When he said "I meant every word", not only did he mean that the words were true for him, he also meant that fully understood the use his words were to be put to. He meant to write that letter from Brian, and he also meant to write it from Jordan. This is a gesture of transcendent selflessness (from a person accurately criticized as selfish, albeit usually unconsciously, by many others), and the gift had to be accepted. - Angela doesn't love Brian. Debates about whether he deserves her love, or anybody's love, are completely pointless. You don't reason anybody into love, especially not a 15-year-old. (Actually, you don't reason *anybody* into love, but sometimes adults forget this truth, and deceive themselves into thinking it's possible, or that it has happened.) The look on her face at the end when she realized what he's done is not "Oh my god, Brian, who I didn't think I loved, is really the person for me", it's "Oh my god, Brian, who I thought was the 'source of all pain', has managed to do the most amazingly nice thing". She's realizing that he doesn't deserve her anger, but she's certainly not going to get out of the car, forget her consuming love for Jordan, and throw herself at her nerdy neighbor on his bike. I don't think she's even thinking about herself at all (or, for that matter, Jordan, who still has some hard parts to get through with her), I think she's just trying to absorb what has happened. I don't blame her: I'm still trying to absorb it myself, and I knew several things she didn't. - Jordan, also, meant everything he said. Brian may have written the words, but Jordan was searching for them, and does anybody seriously believe that any of the sentiments expressed were not ones Jordan felt? And, furthermore, he understood them. The problem was not that Jordan didn't have the appropriate feelings, nor that he didn't understand the things that needed to be said, his problem was that he couldn't figure out the right words to express his feelings. Brian figured them out, but they were Jordan's words, too, truly. Note that this is where this episode differs importantly from the Cyrano parallel that we'd been expecting: Cyrano's words were things he truly felt, and the person using them merely used for shallower ends. Jordan uses his acquired words honestly. He does not lie. So much was wrapped up in the final scene that it takes a conscious effort to break free of its grip and remember what else happened in the episode, but there were a number of other truly amazing things. The one I noticed most was the incredible use of *looks*. The pivotal scene begins with Angela saying "Brian, look at me", but the way people look at each other throughout the episode was brilliant. The two most obvious examples are the Chirsky Glare, a supernatural power with the ability to propel unwanted interlopers out of her range, and the Catalano Puppy-Dog Impersonation, which is here shown capable of seducing men as well as women. Angela, though, remains the master of the look. She has at least three different gazes with life-transforming power: 1) the stony glare, used to look right through people and make them feel not only invisible, but infintesimal and insignificant, 2) the unguarded look of realization, employed involuntarily when a surprising realization suddenly wrenches open a direct line of sight to her heart, and 3) the beam of love, also employed involuntarily, and also basically a baring of her true feelings. The Graham-Hallie Moment was perfectly done, too, I thought. It was pretty self-explanatory, do I won't belabor it, but it was fascinating to see Graham spot the danger and retreat unfazed, while Hallie commits just a fraction of an inch too far (emotionally and physically), and has a hard recovery to execute. I count this a moment of weakness on Hallie's part, not a moment of evil. She means well (witness her cogent advice to Graham earlier about jealousy and consideration (ah, the irony of Hallie giving advice about consideration!)), but she's vulnerable and lonely. Her biggest bluff (of many) is the way she's allowed her breakup with Brad to be completely written off as unimportant. Two great moments with Patty at the door: one when she closes it behind the departing Graham, turns, and strides purposefully back into the house (presumably to prepare for Tony's arrival) the other a few minutes later when she answers it and finds Jordan there. Why does Rickie still think he has to deny things? He's convinced himself, I think, to be who he really is, but he doesn't yet think that the world is ready to let him be (and I'd say this fear is eminently justified). His brief, and deftly defused, attempt to starting a relationship with Delia is the most obvious moment, but his comment earlier about "our place--I mean, Katimski's" is in a similar vein. His self-image seems solid, but he's not quite reached the point of indifference about what other people think (and who ever reaches this point, any time, much less while in high school?). Actually, his radiant reaction to Delia's crush may mean that his self-image *wasn't* previously as strong as he sometimes made it seem. The crush suddenly makes him realize, for the first time, that he's actively gay, not passively gay, and shows him that he *can* be the object of attention. To reverse his kind response to Delia, if I were attracted to men, I'd be attracted to Rickie. I kind of am, anyway (which is true of him, as well). Great scene with Sharon and Rayanne in the bathroom. Sharon and Rickie are the consciences of the group (with Delia potentially in training as assistant conscience), and I was glad to have Sharon openly acknowledge her friendship with Rayanne (just as Rickie says he's gay aloud). Rayanne's side of that scene was harrowing, as she battles to keep her defences up even while she's realizing that she's alone inside them and had better let them down before she goes crazy locked inside. The playful "Duh, sqaured" Sharon gives her at the end is a priceless first step toward recoveries of several sorts. And, of course, Angela forgiving Jordan helps to lower another barrier toward Angela and Rayanne rebuilding their friendship. Interesting that *Patty* ends up plying people with food this time. Graham is making ornate lamb and sauteed foie gras for suit-wearing investors, while she makes sandwiches and pours endless streams of milk for Jordan. Interesting also that after Patty's concern about Jordan having his own car, her dream Tony is on a motorcyle. And the real Tony, she later discovers, owns a car *dealership*! Wheels within wheels... Lastly, for now, while the show didn't try to literally resolve everything neatly, at all, I think it did accomplish an astonishing amount of emotional resolution. Here, to summarize, are some things we saw settled: - Angela now understands Brian's feelings for her. - Angela now has some genuine respect for Brian. - Brian was able, in his own painful way, to finally say what he needed to say, and perhaps free himself to an extent. - Jordan committed to trying a relationship with Angela on, if not *her* terms completely, at least something other than his original sex-or-nothing terms. - Graham snubbed Hallie and made an important gesture to Patty. - Patty contemplated her options and, I think, accepted them, which is an improvement over denying them. - Rayanne moved beyond anger and pity-seeking to admission of guilt. I think it's fair to assume that she will gradually be welcomed back into the fold. - Hallie got the answer to the question she hadn't been willing to ask. - Sharon was finally forced out of her defend-the-cubs role, and accepted her own feelings about Rayanne. I can't help suspecting that Rayanne will dispose of Kyle in short order as a return favor. - Patty and Jordan had their encounter. - Rickie said "I'm gay", and made another friend who needs him at least as much as he needs them. - Delia got to vent about Brian to someone who, unlike Sharon, might actually help her see Brian's side of things rather than just commiserating with her. - Mr. Katimski may have gotten over much of his fear of revealing his home life to outsiders. I didn't actually notice his lover in the seen at his place, but the fact that he was willing to have the kids into his home at all shows that his paranoia had subdued quite a bit. - The restuarant will happen, and will happen without jeapordizing the Chase's solvency. We also saw some especially-credible external confirmation of Graham's cooking skill, in case any doubt lingered about *that*. The world will be a worse place next week without MSCL. But still a better place than it was before. Glenn McDonald My So-Called Life: FAQ FAQ (a hitchhiker's guide to the series) Version 1.2: December 28, 1994 Copyright 1994 - The MSCL Consortium / Lifesavers Inc. In conjuction with the MSCL Mailing List By Virany Kreng - vmkreng@uci.edu (Which means if you use this illegally, I own your car and your firstborn.) Please feel free to distribute this to anybody and everybody you know... In fact, I encourage it! I only ask that the Acknowledgements and the section listing ABC's addresses be included in some form, but, well, that's up to you. NOTE: This is a work in progress, and more sections need to be added and updated with each new episode. Any and all constructive criticism or feedback is greatly appreciated, and can be sent to vmkreng@uci.edu. Thanx for taking the time to read this! The So-Called Table Of Contents The So-Called History - How MSCL came to be, and where it is now. The So-Called Legacy - MSCL's inherited legacy from "thirtysomething". The So-Called Premise - The basic setup of the show. The So-Called Characters - Information on the various characters. The So-Called Episodes - A mini-guide to the episodes, airdates, and their plots. The So-Called Players - A list of who's who in the show. The So-Called Music - Play that funky music, white boy. The So-Called Trivia - Goofy trivial information. The So-Called Fans - MSCL support groups to lean on, cry with, and talk to. The So-Called Network - Wanna give ABC a piece of your mind? Here's how. The So-Called Acknowledgements - People who paid me money to mention their names. FAQ written entirely by Virany Kreng - vmkreng@uci.edu. Converted to HTML by Kory Lasker - lask0008@gold.tc.umn.edu 1. THE SO-CALLED HISTORY. In the beginning there was the show, and the show was "My So-Called Life." On Thursday, August 25th, 1994, at 8 p.m. PST, "My So-Called Life" (MSCL) debuted after more than a year of languishing in programming limbo at ABC. The first show of the new fall season to air, MSCL's debut had been a long-anticipated event. The pilot for the show was shot in January of 1993, and shown to the Powers That Be in April. The buzz was good: here, at last, was a thoughtful drama told from the perspective of a 15-year-old girl. Produced by Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick, the creative team that helmed the successful "thirtysomething" series, MSCL looked as if it would generate the same praise and adulation its predecessor had. ABC's usually unflappable programmers reportedly flipped for the pilot. Ted Harbert, president of ABC's Entertainment division, said, "Not since 'Moonlighting' has there been a show that when the rough cut comes in, the place stops." In early May, the call from up above came down: ABC had reserved 6 slots for hourlong series in its fall lineup, and MSCL would not be one of them. Their show hadn't made the first cut, but there was a chance that it could be brought in as a mid-season replacement. ABC's option on the show would run out in December. Zwick and Herskovitz spent the summer of 1993 waiting for further word. Finally, on October 7th, ABC green-lighted 7 more episodes. But production couldn't resume until January 1994, so there was little chance of MSCL airing any time before March. If the in-house buzz was good before, it was even better now. On October 24th, _The New York Times_ featured an article on the show and ABC programmers' indecision over the MSCL time slot. By February, the word around town was that MSCL would be The Drama To Watch. _Newsweek_ gave it a thumbs up, deeming Herskovitz and Zwick "the best (and brightest) the medium has. [...] They try to make TV forget its only teevee." When _Rolling Stone_ came out with its Hot Issue, MSCL merited a mention as Hot TV Show: "[W]e wait for the inevitable moralizing conclusion -- or at least a public-service announcement. But it never comes." All this before the pilot had even aired. So, why didn't MSCL make it anywhere into the 1993-1994 season? The problem, according to Harbert, was that programmers couldn't figure out the right spot for the show. The traditionally family-oriented 8 p.m. time slot would draw younger viewers, but ABC felt the show might be too sophisticated, provocative, and "agonizingly honest" for that audience. On the other hand, at 10 p.m. the show might capture the adult audience, who could relate to the ordeal of the Chase parents, but that would mean sacrificing most of the potential younger viewing audience. The logical compromise would be a 9 p.m. assignment, but ABC was completely booked at 9:00 -- except for Thursdays. Programmers nixed trying that slot, which would have pitted the newbie MSCL against the NBC blockbuster "Seinfeld." Instead, they gave MSCL the only spot they could come up with: sitting on a shelf, waiting in the wings for its own spot in the '94-'95 fall season. Rather than giving it a late spring tryout, Harbert decided MSCL would fare better in its own 8 p.m. slot on Thursday nights. ("Missing Persons" was axed, as was its mid-season replacement, "The Byrds of Paradise.") Hoping to catch the attention of young viewers before school resumed, late August was set for the the long-awaited premiere. Throughout June and July, ABC ran a batch of promos for MSCL, depicting the show as an honest, non-90210 portrayal of the teenage experience. The commercial voice-overs informed listeners that _Rolling Stone_ had named MSCL the best new show of the season. Anticipation was high. ABC hoped for another "thirtysomething"-sized hit on their hands, and the MSCL team was eager to present their baby to the world. All that was left was for the show to premiere. It did just that, on August 25th. Critics gave the show generally positive reviews, and even the detractors were praising star Claire Danes for her dead-on portrayal of Everyteen. In an otherwise unremarkable season, reviewers embraced the originality and authenticity MSCL had to offer. Now if only the Nielsen families could do the same... Showing their faith in MSCL, ABC ordered six more episodes, the first of which aired Oct. 27th. The network later ordered four additional episodes, bringing the total to 19 episodes, just 4 under a complete season. Recognizing the series' unique spin, the Viewers for Quality Television recently added MSCL to its Qualified Support list. Operation Life Support, an organization of fans dedicated to saving MSCL, aims to keep MSCL on the air (read on). However, whether the show will survive long enough for Angela (and us) to see her junior year is still uncertain. At the time of this writing, MSCL's future is not the brightest, and there has even been talk of moving the series to cable, or another network. On Dec. 5th, ABC delivered the crushing news: after the last of the new episodes airs in January, MSCL will go on hiatus -- a word often associated with, but not necessarily synonymous for cancellation. Taking its time slot will probably be either "Extreme," a new action-adventury type show, or more episodes of your favorite lawyer and mine, "Matlock." People Magazine listed MSCL in their "Best of Tube" list in its year-end issue. Claire was also included in its section on "New Faces." _Time_ mentioned MSCL in their best of TV section, as have many other noteworthy newspapers and magazines. On Dec. 22nd, Golden Globe nominations were announced, and our own Claire Danes received MSCL's only nod, as Best Actress (Drama). She faces stiff competition from Kathy Baker ("Picket Fences") and Angela Lansbury ("Murder, She Wrote"), and (no) competition from Jane Seymour ("Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman") and (don't laugh) Heather Locklear ("Melrose Place"). Despite the rave reviews, MSCL's ratings have been, shall we say, less than fantastic, and even though ABC's leading this season's ratings race, TPTB would probably have no qualms about axing its lowest rated series. Harbert stressed that the show is a "strong candidate" for renewal, but his reluctance to give MSCL the support it deserves is not a good sign. It's the kind of thing that makes fans cry, and many of us actually have. Unless viewers like us do something NOW, MSCL may end up little more than a videotaped memory. 2. THE SO-CALLED LEGACY. When "thirtysomething" ended its highly successful, critically acclaimed run in 1991, ABC was eager to keep the show's producers, Ed Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz, from wandering to some other network. The two were signed to produce three pilots for ABC over the next five years. For a new series, Herskovitz and Zwick approached Winnie Holzman about collaborating with them. Holzman, once a prize-winning poet and a New York playwright, had previously worked with the two on "thirtysomething." For the show's last two seasons, she had made her presence felt as a writer, story editor, and a co-executive producer. The three brainstormed on ideas for a new show, and eventually the trio came up with the idea of portraying the teenage experience from a teenager's point of view. They wanted to present something other than what Zwick called "television's fatuous, inaccurate depiction of what teenage life is." Think of it as the anti-90210. Unlike that series, MSCL would have no conveniently packaged all-around happy endings, no self-righteous moralizing about current popular social issues, and no nauseatingly beautiful people running amuck in shiny convertibles. To get a feel for the teenage psyche and lingo, Holzman, credited as the guiding voice of MSCL, went undercover at high schools and wrote make-believe diary entries. Holzman wrote the pilot in addition to some of the following episodes, and is credited as both creator and co-executive producer. The other co-executive producer, Scott Winant, was brought in to direct the pilot episode. Another alumnus of "thirtysomething", Winant had served as that show's sole producer during its four year run. Reviews have noted many similarities between "thirtysomething" and MSCL. Both present believable characters with real problems they often have no clue how to solve. Both center on identity crises at life's major turning points. Perhaps _Newsweek_ best summed up the likeness between the two series: Like 'thirtysomething' this hour-long series charts a troubled passage through a generational time zone, heavy on self-absorption and self-doubt, packed with those small, seemingly mundane moments that reveal complex emotional truths. 3. THE SO-CALLED PREMISE. Set in Three Rivers, a fictional suburb somewhere near Pittsburgh, PA, "My So-Called Life" (a.k.a. MSCL) centers on Angela Chase, an intelligent, articulate 15-year-old sophomore at Liberty High. The story begins at a crucial turning point in Angela's so-called life -- the onset of adolescence, appropriately accompanied by the angst-ridden search for identity and the requisite teenage rebellion against family, old friends, and benign authority figures. All signalled by Angela's going from blonde to crimson glow. The series also focuses on Angela's parents, Patty and Graham Chase, two 40-year-old baby-boomers who are experiencing their own growing pains not unlike Angela's. Patty is horrified to hear herself saying the kinds of things her own mother said to her -- the sort of thing she never imagined herself saying. Graham finds himself experiencing his own identity crisis. With half his life behind him, he realizes he's stuck in a job he hates but feels obligated to do. While the two face their individual problems, they also struggle to keep their marriage from falling into the rut of boredom after so many years together. Meanwhile, with all of this taking place under the Chases' roof, Danielle Chase, Angela's oft-forgotten 10-year-old sister, faces a challenge of her own. With everyone's attentions turned to her older sister, Danielle, a pre-teen with seemingly boundless energy, is constantly trying to be noticed. She often resorts to gymnastics just to avoid being mistaken for a hat rack. Viewers get to peek into the adolescent mentality by eavesdropping on the protagonist's thoughts. Usually voiced over by series star Claire Danes, these range from the esoteric ("School is a battlefield for your heart") to the confessional ("I cannot bring myself to eat a well-balanced meal in front of my mother") to the refreshingly mundane ("Okay. So I have a zit"). At school, Angela is flanked by friends and classmates who round out the show's impressive cast: childhood friends Sharon Cherski and Brian Krakow, once close to Angela but left out in her new life the fun-loving duo of Rayanne Graff and Rickie Vasquez, more in search of a good party than a good education and resident enigma Jordan Catalano, the slow-blinking, great-leaning loner who is the object of Angela's intense but (perhaps) unrequited infatuation. 4. THE SO-CALLED CHARACTERS. This is an attempt to give as much info as possible about the characters in as little space as possible. It's meant to give the non-viewer a feel for these characters, but will probably be old news to regular viewers. Be forewarned: any extraneous stuff I considered interesting is included. ANGELA CHASE 15-year-old adolescent in search of her True Identity. Used to be close with her parents, esp. with her father Graham. Former best friend to Sharon, who has known her all her life and was a fellow Girl Scout. Currently hangs with Rickie and Rayanne, occasionally Jordan. Prone to daydreaming about Jordan. Kissed 4 times in her life. Hates fondue, worships Anne Frank. Writes poems about greenery for English class. Likes Porno for Pyros, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage Against the Machine, Stone Temple Pilots, Billie Holliday, R.E.M., Crowded House, The Frozen Embryos, and _The Bicycle Thief_. Often referred to as "the girl with the red hair." Was seeing Jordan for a while, but broke up over, er, philosophical differences. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. PATRICIA (PATTY) WOOD CHASE Mother of Angela and Danielle, wife and former employer of Graham, daughter of Vivian, and best friend of Camille. A baby-boomer in search of her True Identity. Adopted by Vivian and Chuck Wood. Once tried to find her natural parents. Went to high school with Camille and Graham, never met him there. Queen of her class, a popular pretty girl who hung out with all the right people. The prom was postponed when she had her appendix out, according to Graham. Had a roommate in college who died of a drug overdose. Currently runs Wood and Jones printing, which she took over after Chuck took ill. GRAHAM CHASE 40-year-old Baby Boomer in search of his Place in Life. Father of Danielle and Angela, husband and former employee of Patty, older brother of Neil. His mother's dead. A Deadhead, aspiring chef, near-adultere, wallpaper expert, and constantly-befuddled "In-touch-with-his-emotions" Dad. Was tight with Angela before her breasts came between them. Still outdistanced by his wife's intelligence. Fired from Wood and Jones Printing for his own good. Was unemployed or semi-retired for a while currently teaches intermediate cooking classes for continuing education. DANIELLE CHASE Perpetually unnoticed 10-year-old Chase daughter. A Girl Scout in search of someone to buy her cookies. Once had a crush on Brian. Does a great impression of Angela. Excels in gymnastics and talking without people hearing. May actually have a love life at school, with some kid named Ryan. Currently a student in a school somewhere. SHARON CHERSKI Perpetually perky wearer of pink. The school good girl. Daughter of Camille and Andy, ex-girlfriend of Kyle, and former best friend of Angela. Has known Angela all her life, surviving Girl Scouts and a tonsillectomy together. Oboe player, yearbook staffer, World Happiness Dance organizer, Teen Hotline volunteer. Voted Best Hooters in the sophomore class. "Miss Perfect," she even flosses after meals. Made up with Angela after Andy's heart attack. Friends with Rayanne, though neither will admit it. Likes Buffalo Tom. Lost her virginity to Kyle. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. RAYANNE MARIE GRAFF Daughter of Amber, best friend of Angela and Rickie. Her father split when she was very young. Can't take care of herself but watches out for Rickie and Angela. Shows up for classes she's not in. Voted Most Slut Potential in the sophomore class. Weakness for scumbags, security guards, and guys who generally make us cringe. Afraid of the dark. Takes to liquor like me to Skittles, but won't remember a thing the next day. Had her stomach pumped after near OD lived clean and sober for more than 33 days, then fell off the wagon after disastrous attempt at singing lead vocals for Frozen Embryos/Between Names. Likes Sesame Street and the Grateful Dead. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High until someone starts taking attendance. BRIAN KRAKOW Resident school genius. Surprisingly perceptive, but a complete dufus in all-important extracurricular matters of the heart. Jewish. Behavioral psychologist mother (Berniece) and Freudian psychiatrist father (Bob). Older sister is married and lives in Denver. Yearbook photographer, school band's flute and sax player. Social outcast, and not-so-secret admirer of neighbor and longtime acquaintance Angela. Left-handed. Only person who seems to do the assignments. Bonded with fellow outcast Rickie, spent a night (so to speak) with Rayanne, and blew a good thing with Delia. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High taking calculus and a triple minor. ENRIQUE (RICKIE) VASQUEZ Resident bisexual romantic. Best friend of Angela and Rayanne, good friend of Brian. Once had a crush on Jordan, and was interested in Cory. Half Hispanic and half Black. Tries to protect Rayanne from self-destructing. So sensitive it hurts (and so do we). Knows a lot about sewing. Lives with an abusive uncle he considers his father. Has a tendency to get beaten up but won't talk about it. A devout Catholic and a great dancer. Loses his voice when really nervous. A southpaw. Recently joined the drama club. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. JORDAN CATALANO Resident enigmatic loner. Left back two years, probably due to his difficulty reading. Part Italian. Interested in Angela. Ditches virtually every class but PE and shop, and now English. Sings, plays guitar, and writes songs for The Frozen Embryos. Really loves his car. Can get you a fake ID. Smokes, leans, and blinks with the best of them. Used to get a beating from his father before he fought back and threw a chair at him. Currently a junior at Liberty High. *** Recurring/Important Characters *** CAMILLE CHERSKI Mother of Sharon, wife of Andy, best friend of Patty. Has known Patty forever. Close to Sharon, even did that Mother-Daughter fashion show thing together. AMBER VALLONE Free-spirited appetizer-loving ex-hippie mother of Rayanne. Reads Tarot cards and didn't lose any sleep over Rayanne's "casual" drinking and drugging before the near-OD. A Deadhead and one-time wharf rat. May have given up a baby in a past life. Once served a BLT to Bob Dylan. Currently working as an X-ray technician and dating Rusty, a Vietnam vet. KYLE VINNOVICH Football jock and ex-boyfriend of Sharon. Dates girls for their smiles, not their hooters. Currently a sophomore at Liberty High. CHUCK WOOD Father of Patty, husband of Vivian. Quit Wood and Jones Printing when he had a stroke in 1992. Ran the business for 30 years. Currently "retired" and dodging the IRS. VIVIAN WOOD Mother of Patty, a.k.a. "The Empress". Likes oregano. HALLIE LOWENTHAL Student in Graham's cooking class. Completely uninhibited and free- speaking. Engaged to rich guy Brad, who suggested she take classes because she can't cook worth a damn. Currently sells advertising time, but interested in starting a restaurant with Graham as chef. THE CHASE FAMILY CAT Of the variety felis invisibilus, the cat has been mentioned but never actually seen. TINO _The_ Guy to Know at Liberty High. May or may not be a student. Throws big parties. Friend of Jordan. Has yet to be seen in an episode, though his presence is always felt. Recently quit post as lead singer of The Frozen Embryos. ** The Liberty High Teachers ** MR. RICHARD KATIMSKI The new English teacher (Rickie and Rayanne's period and moderator of the Drama club. Master of...strange pauses mid-sentence. MS. CATHY KRZYZANOWSKI Rayanne's drug counselor. Also, teacher of some class none of the main characters are in. Substituted for English class (Angela, Jordan, and Brian's period) in "Father Figures" [1.4]. MS. RENEE LERNER Angela's geometry teacher, who subbed for English until Mr. Katimski was hired. Dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi for Halloween (though nobody got the joke). Was interested in Mr. Katimski. (Was "Mrs. Lerner" until 1.9 when she was listed as "Ms. Lerner.") MR. FOSTER Principal of Liberty High. Not a man to be trifled with. MR. DEMITRI Social studies teacher. Teaches U.S. History. According to Angela, he's incredibly boring. MS. MARIAN CHAVATAL The biology teacher. She's the one in the lab coat. MR. RINALDI Spanish teacher who substituted for English class in "The Zit" [1.5]. Read Kafka's _The Metamorphosis_ to the class. MS. MAYHEW The English teacher and yearbook moderator seen only in the pilot. She quits her job sometime after that, and the havoc this causes is seen in later episodes. 5. THE SO-CALLED EPISODES.xg This is my meager attempt at providing a short episode guide for reference. Guest star appearances have been omitted for the sake of space-saving. I'd recommend trying Dave Chapman's far superior episode guide (see the fans section later on). But in the meantime... Except where noted, MSCL airs on ABC Thursdays at 8 p.m. PST/EST and at 7 p.m. CDT. Episode Air Date Title Writer Director Note ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.1 08-25-94 My So-Called Life (Pilot) WH SW 1.2 09-01-94 Dancing in the Dark WH SW 1.3 09-08-94 Guns and Gossip JT MH *1 1.4 09-15-94 Father Figures WH MR 1.5 09-22-94 The Zit BT VD *2 1.6 09-29-94 The Substitute JK ESP 1.7 10-06-94 Why Jordan Can't Read LG MP 1.8 10-20-94 Strangers in the House JG RL *3 1.9 10-27-94 Halloween JG MP *4 1.10 11-04-94 Other People's Daughters RK CW *5 1.11 11-11-94 Life of Brian JK TH *6 1.12 11-18-94 Self-Esteem WH ME 1.13 12-01-94 Pressure EH MP *7 1.14 12-08-94 On the Wagon EG JP 1.15 12-22-94 So-Called Angel WH JT = Justin Tanner BT = Betsy Thomas JK = Jason Katims LG = Liberty Godshall JG = Jill Gordon RK = Richard Kramer EH = Ellen Herman EG = Elizabeth Gill * DIRECTORS: SW = Scott Winant MH = Marshall Herskovitz MR = Mark Rosner VD = Victor DuBois ESP = Ellen S. Pressman MP = Piznarski RL = Ron Lagomarsino CW = Claudia Weill TH = Todd Holland ME = Michael Engler JP = Jeff Perry Notes: 1. In some areas of the country, MSCL was pre-empted due to coverage of an airplane crash in Pittsburgh. The episode was subsequently broadcast on a "special night" -- Tuesday, 10-04-94, at 10 p.m. (normally the spot for "NYPD Blue"). Incidentally, this Tuesday showing earned MSCL its highest ratings to date. 2. This episode is the only one so far that has had end credits deviating from the usual white credits on black. Instead, we get footage of Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie clowning around with Patty's dress. 3. This episode was supposed to air on Oct. 13th, but at the last minute was unexpectedly pre-empted for the 2-hour season premiere of "Matlock." 4. This is the first of the episodes shot months after the first batch. Note Jared's changed hairdo and Danielle's growth spurt. 5. The exec producer end credits are black on white for this one. 6. Only one (so far?) narrated by a character other than Angela. 7. Pre-empted on Thanksgiving Thursday (11-25-94) for a two-hour MacGyver movie called "Trail to Doomsday." 8. Pre-empted on 12-15 for a special tribute to Elvis (thank you, thank you very much). This "special episode" has no opening theme song, no voice-over, and no bbout Angela and Jordan send ripples through the Liberty High School community. 1.4 Angela gives Graham the "silent contempt" treatment while Patty must deal with her own father when both the Grateful Dead and the IRS come to town. 1.5 In this episode on image and self-image, Angela's zit, Patty's face, Sharon's hooters, and Rayanne's slut potential are all under scrutiny when a sophomoric list on the sophomore girls coincides with the Annual Mother-Daughter Fashion Show. 1.6 An unconventional substitute teacher temporarily turns Angela's English class into a Dead Poets Society and causes a stir when he takes over the school's literary magazine. 1.7 Angela and Jordan get close when she learns of his reading problem, and closer when she hears his new song. Back on the ranch, Patty and Graham cope with possible pregnancy. 1.8 Angela's relationship with Sharon and Graham's job dissatisfaction both hit critical levels when Sharon's father has a heart attack. 1.9 Halloween rolls into Three Rivers, blurring the line between facades and realities. 1.10 Angela is entranced by Rayanne's hip hippie mom, while Patty gets the daughter treatment from her own mother. 1.11 Everyone's love life gets screwed up by the school World Happiness Dance. 1.12 Jordan won't acknowledge his new relationship with Angela, Graham starts his cooking classes, and a new teacher invites Rickie to join the drama club. 1.13 Angela considers sleeping with Jordan, while Graham considers starting his own restaurant. 1.14 Feeling left out of Angela's life, Rayanne becomes lead singer of the Frozen Embryos. Meanwhile, Patty thinks Rayanne has started drinking again, and can't decide if she should meddle with Amber's mothering. 1.15 Christmas in Three Rivers finds Rickie out on the street after a fight with his abusive uncle. Angela, aided by a mysterious homeless girl with an angelic voice and a guitar, tries to help him, putting her at odds with Patty. Meanwhile, Brian faces Christmas alone, and Sharon and Rayanne (wo)man the phones at a teen hotline. 6. THE SO-CALLED PLAYERS The MSCL regulars are: BESS ARMSTRONG Patty Chase WILSON CRUZ Rickie Vasquez CLAIRE DANES Angela Chase DEVON GUMMERSALL Brian Krakow A.J. LANGER Rayanne Graff JARED LETO Jordan Catalano DEVON ODESSA Sharon Cherski LISA WILHOIT Danielle Chase and TOM IRWIN Graham Chase Noteworthy actors, their roles, and Season 1 appearances include: AMBER VALLONE Patti D'Arbanville-Quinn [3,10,14] MARY KAY PLACE Camille Cherski [2,5,8] PAUL DOOLEY Chuck Wood [4,12] BARBARA BAIN Vivian Wood [10] DANTON STONE Neil Chase [2] LISA WALTZ Hallie Lowenthal [13,14] JOHNNY GREEN Kyle Vinnovich [5,7,11] SHANNON LETO Shane [7,12] BENNET GUILLORY Principal Foster [3,6] WINNIE HOLZMAN Ms. Krzyzanowski [4,13,14] MARGARET NAGEL Ms. Chavatal [1,2,12] MAY QUIGLEY Ms. Lerner [8,9,12,13] JEFF PERRY Mr. Katimski [12,13] STANLEY DESANTIS Mr. Demitri [1,6] NANA DESPOTOVICH Ms. Mayhew [1] DEL ZAMORA Mr. Renaldi [5] (Adapted from information available on America Online, and from a press kit provided by ABC Productions.) CLAIRE DANES - Youngest of two children, born in New York to her painter/teacher mother and computer consultant father. Started studying modern dance at age six, and still studies it at nine took acting class at Lee Strasberg Studio attended Professional Performing Arts School in New York. Likes gymnastics, humanities, science, and more recently, surfing (she's currently hanging in L.A., dude). * Credits: Stage appearances in "Happiness," "Punk Ballet," "Kids on Stage." TV appearances as a guest star in "Law and Order," "No Room For Opal," and a key role in cable film "The Coming Out of Heidi Leiter." Film appearances in _Dreams of Love_, _Thirty_ (short film), The Pesky Suitor_ (film festival short), and Little Women (major studio film!). * Birthday: April 12, 1979. BESS ARMSTRONG - A popular film and TV actress. Married (to film producer John Fiedler) with children (two sons, ages 6 and 2-1/2). Born in Baltimore Maryland, middle of five children parents were both teachers. Attended Bryn Mawr School for Girls for 14 years graduated from Brown University with a double degree in theater arts and the classics. * Credits: Stage appearances include Jules Feiffer's "Knock, Knock." TV appearances include series "On Our Own," "All is Forgiven," and "Married People," the miniseries "Lace," and the recent telefilm "Take Me Home Again" with Kirk Douglas. Film appearances include _The Four Seasons_, _Nothing in Common_, _The High Road to China_, _Jaws 3-D_, and _Dream Lover_. * Birthday: Dec. 11 TOM IRWIN - A native Illinoisan, born in Peoria. Attended Illinois State University. Joined Chicago's famed Steppenwolf Theatre Company. Continues to act in and direct plays for the company. Lives in Chicago and L.A., with two cats, Michael Jordan and Frances Glass. Avid basketball fan of the Chicago Bulls and the less successful Los Angeles Clippers. * Credits: Stage appearances (there are lots) include Steppenwolf productions of "The Grapes of Wrath" as the narrator/ragman, "Love Letters" with Laurie Metcalf, "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," "Frank's Wild Years," and "My Thing of Love." TV appearances include the starring role in ABC's critically acclaimed but short-lived series "My Life and Times." Telefilms include "In the Best Interest of the Child," "To My Daughter," and a recent one with Jennie Garth [what was its name?]. Film appearances include _Mr. Jones_, _Deceived_, _Midnight Run_, _Light of Day_, and _Men Don't Leave_. * Birthday: June 1 JARED LETO - Born in Bossier City, LA. First job at 12 as a dishwasher at sixteen he became a doorman. Enrolled at University of the Arts in Philadelphia to study painting transferred to the School of Visual Arts in New York to study filmmaking in March 1992 moved to L.A. to pursue acting. * Credits: TV appearances include guest spots on "The Torkelsons" and "Camp Wilder." Also, a starring role in Showtime's "The Cool and the Crazy" directed by Ralph Bakshi. Also directed and starred in a film entitled _Crying Joy_ while in film school. *Birthday: Dec. 26, 197? A.J. LANGER - A native Ohioan who moved to L.A. at five. A.J. stands for Allison Joy the nickname comes from being the only girl in little league. An algebra teacher suggested acting after A.J. was elected student-body president in 9th grade. Likes reading the sports section, hiking, camping and fishing. Also creates one-of-a-kind necklaces, picture frames, and decorative pieces as gifts. Lives in the San Fernando Valley of CA. * Credits: TV appearances include the Fox series "Drexell's Class" and noteworthy guest starring roles on "The Wonder Years," "In the Heat of the Night," "Blossom," "Baywatch," "Parker Lewis Can't Lose," and even "90210." Film appearances include a starring role in Wes Craven's _The People Under the Stairs_ and in _You Thought Your Parents Were Weird_. * Birthday: May 22, 1972 WILSON CRUZ - New Yorker who moved to San Bernadino, CA with his Puerto Rican family when he was 10. Eldest of three brothers. Sang and toured with Young Americans. Featured in shows at Disneyland, Disney World, and Sea World/Orlando. Graduated from Eisenhower High School and pursued a double major in English and theater before joining MSCL. Plays saxophone and collects vintage photos of actors. Openly homosexual and proud of it. * Credits: Stage appearances include "Cradle of Fire," "Supporting Cast," and a number of Shakespearean productions. TV appearances include a recurring role in the Fox series "Great Scott!" * Birthday: Dec. 27, 1973 DEVON ODESSA - A native West Virginian brought up on a farm. Moved to New Orleans, then to Los Angeles. Graduated from Notre Dame High School (Sherman Oaks, CA). Likes dancing, horseback riding, tennis, rollerblading, and cooking. Has three dogs and two cats. Splits her time between her home in Parkersburg WV, and the San Fernando Valley of CA. * Credits: Stage appearances include "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "The Hobbit." TV appearances include a recurring role as Dana on "Angel Falls." Guest starring roles include "The Wonder Years," "Full House," "Step By Step," and "The Facts of Life." Also, the telefilms "Girl of the Limberlost" and the Herskovitz-Zwick production "Extreme Close-Up." Film debut in _Pumpkinhead_. * Birthday: Jan. 18, 1974 DEVON GUMMERSALL - Born in Colorado, middle son of three boys. Father is artist C. Gregory Gummersall. Moved to Los Angeles area. Did commercials at 10. Currently a 10th grader. Likes poetry, literature, J.D. Salinger, and sports. Has a German shepherd named Nick and a cat named Feisty. * Credits: TV appearances include guest starring roles in "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman," "Step By Step," "Dream On," and "Blossom." Film appearances in _My Girl II_ and _Beethoven's 2nd_. * Birthday: Oct. 15, 1978 LISA WILHOIT - Native Los Angelena. Third generation of a show-biz family. Grandfather scored TV music, father is a sound effects editor, and her cousins are the twin boys on "Full House." At five, trained in gymnastics at ten, did stunt work on "Hook." An honors student and Girl Scout. Takes dance classes, and likes bowling, ice skating, Thai food, and UB40. Owns collections of frogs, music boxes, seashells, nutcrackers. Lives in San Fernando Valley with three cats, a bird, and lotsa frogs. * Credits: TV appearance in "Talking with T.J." Film debut as Baby Tinkerbell in _Hook_. Voice-overs in films such as _When a Man Loves a Woman_, _Fearless_, _Home Alone 2_, and _Searching for Bobby Fisher_. * Birthday: July 30, 198? WINNIE HOLZMAN - Born in New York City, raised in Long Island. Graduated from Princeton University with a major in English and a concentration in creative writing. Won many poetry awards, including the Academy of American Poets Prize. Studied acting at The Circle in The Square Theatre School joined the N.Y.U. Musical Theatre Program. Joined the "thirty- something" writing staff in 1989, writing 9 episodes during her 2 seasons. Married to actor Paul Dooley (Chuck Wood!) they have an 8-year-old daughter named Savannah, and live in the San Fernando Valley. * Credits: Stage writing credits include "Serious Bizness," and "Birds of Paradise." TV credits as story editor and writer for "thirtysomething." Guest-role as Ms. Krzyzanowski in that show "My So-Called Life." x"music"7. THE SO-CALLED MUSIC. The songs featured in MSCL are more like supporting characters than just background fillers. The lyrics often fit the moment perfectly, and the music usually complements the atmosphere of the scene. Atlantic/Mammoth Records announced it would put out a soundtrack album of music from and/or inspired by MSCL. Artists on the "alternative"-flavored album include Juliana Hatfield, Buffalo Tom, Archers of Loaf, Afghan Whigs, Frente!, Further, Daniel Johnston, the Lemonheads, Madder Rose, and Sonic Youth. The release date is some time in late January. These are songs that have been used in MSCL. Where possible, the scenes you can hear the songs in have been indicated, along with the episode number. This has been compiled with much help from the MSCL list and MSCL Music Guru Misty Jones. 1.1 Some song by Animalbag [band at Tino's party] 1.1 "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls [on the TV Jordan watches] 1.1 "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. [Angela returns from the rave] 1.2 "Cruel Swing" by Jawbox [in Jordan's car] 1.3 "Dreams" by the Cranberries [in Angela's room when Patty comes in] 1.4 "Althea" by the Grateful Dead [Graham repairs the roof] 1.4 "Palomine" by Bettie Serveert [In Ang's bedroom] 1.5 "Return to Innocence" by Enigma [the fashion show] 1.6 "What About Your Friends?" by TLC [just before Vic shows up] 1.7 "Red" by W.G. Snuffy Walden/Winnie Holzman [Jordan's song] 1.7 "Sodajerk" by Buffalo Tom [Sharon and Kyle in the hall] 1.9 "Johnny Angel" by Shelley Fabares (?) [in the gym] 1.9 "Blue Moon" by Elvis Presley [with Nicky, and hummed by Rickie] 1.10 "Fall Down" by Toad the Wet Sprocket [parking lot scene] 1.10 "Spin the Bottle" by Juliana Hatfield Trio [before the party] 1.10 "Down About It" by the Lemonheads [at the party] 1.10 "Dame With a Rod" by Juliana Hatfield Trio [at the party] 1.11 "South Carolina" by Archers of Loaf [Jordan's car radio] 1.11 "Dawn Can't Decide" by the Lemonheads [first song heard at dance?] 1.11 "Dropout" by Urge Overkill [at the dance] 1.11 "Pressure" by Sunscreem [at the dance] 1.11 "What is Love?" by Haddaway [Rickie and Delia's dance] 1.11 "Try" by Billy Pilgrim [last song at the dance] 1.12 "Soda Jerk" by Buffalo Tom [performed live] 1.12 "Late at Night" by Buffalo Tom [performed live and closing scene] 1.12 "Fountain and Fairfax" by Afghan Wigs [Vertigo Club] 1.14 "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones [song the Frozen Embryos play] 1.14 "Sesame Street Theme Song" [sung by Rayanne] 1.15 "Make It Home" by Juliana Hatfield [sung by J.H. as the angel Joy] 1.15 "I Feel Like Going Home" by ? [sung by the Inner Voices church] 1.17 "Blister in the Sun" - Violent Femmes (Ang's bedroom freedom dance) 1.17 "Genetic" - Sonic Youth (Rayanne and Jordan at "Louie's")* 1.18 "The Book Song" - Frente! (in Ang's bedroom)* 1.18 "I Alone" - Live (in Patty and Graham's bedroom) The MSCL soundtrack "Music from the TV Series 'My So-Called Life'" is set to be released on 1/24/95 (mark those calendars) by Atlantic/Mammoth Records. The song list, as leaked onto the AOL boards and into the MSCL list by Peter, is: "Make it Home" -- Juliana Hatfield "Soda Jerk" -- Buffalo Tom "Genetic" -- Sonic Youth "Petty Core" -- Further "Drop A Bomb" -- Madder Rose "Fountain and Fairfax" -- Afghan Wigs "South Carolina" -- Archers of Loaf "Dawn Can't Decide" -- The Lemonheads "The Book Song" -- Frente "Come See Me Tonight" -- Daniel Johnston "My So-Called Life" theme song -- W.G. Snuffy Walden 8. THE SO-CALLED TRIVIA. Miscellaneous questions and answers. What possible "in-jokes" have the MSCL crew used on the show? The two names frequently listed as assistants to the co-exec producers are Jenifer Catalano and Diane Driscoll. Two characters have shared last names with them: Jordan Catalano and Nicky Driscoll (dead kid from "Halloween"). Similarly, Mr. Katimski's name could be a play on story editor Jason Katims' name. One of the recurring "in-jokes" can be found in most of the Bathroom Scenes. If you look closely at the graffiti, you might see among the various scrawl, "A.J. + Chris" in any of various forms, including "A.J.L. + C.F.S." [1.3] which leaves little doubt that this is some reference to A.J. and some real-life honey of hers. (See episodes 3, 5, 6, 8, and 10.) In "The Zit", Brooke Kennedy is listed on the Sophomore hot sheet as having the best laugh. Brooke Kennedy is one of the show's producers. Nepotism or coincidence? In "Strangers in the House" the doctor is played by Bruce Winant, who may or may not be related to co-executive producer Scott Winant. Also, the sergeant in "So-Called Angels" was played by Bob Katims, possibly a relation to story editor and episode co-writer Jason Katims? And of course, Chuck is played by character actor Paul Dooley, who is married to creator Winnie Holzman Shane Leto is probably related to Jared. In "Self-Esteem", look carefully at the names on the Drama Club signup sheet when Enrique signs it. Two of the names above his are Nancy Jacobs (first assistant director) and Diane Kelly (Diane Durant-Kelley is the script supervisor). [Who are Ron Ripplemeyer and June Rogers?!] Who would make a good Tino? This was a recent discussion on the MSCL list. Names bandied about as possible Tinos included: Gary Oldman, Henry Rollins, the late great River Phoenix, ... What literary references have been used? The following works have been referred to, quoted, or featured: The Diary of Anne Frank (Anne Frank) The Autobiography of Malcolm X (Malcolm X) The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka) Sonnet 130 (William Shakespeare) Of Mice and Men (John Steinbeck) As You Like It (William Shakspeare) Cat's Cradle (Kurt Vonnegut) . What's all this talk about cats, basements, and sweaters? At least two episodes have made reference to a Chase family cat... but we have yet to see said feline. Dennis suggested the cat is off somewhere hanging with Tino and Brian's parents. In "The Substitute," Patty and Graham wonder if Angela could have possibly written the (in)famous "Haiku For Him" poem. Patty dismisses the idea, saying, "We don't even _have_ a basement." Fast forward to "Life of Brian," and the opening scenes in the Chase home, where Graham goes searching for wallpaper. Says Patty, "I can't do braids in a basement." There appears to be a glitch in the editing of "Self-Esteem" watch Angela's clothes carefully in the scene after Jordan tells her to keep their meetings a secret. She goes from wearing one sweater to another top. Peculiar. 9. THE SO-CALLED FANS. Response to the pilot and subsequent episodes of MSCL has generally been enthusiastic -- perhaps not evident in the ratings, but apparent in the rec.arts.tv discussions of the show and the loyalty of its supporters. To this end, not one, but _two_ mailing lists can be found for discussion of MSCL: The thirtysomething mailing list. Maintained by: Janet Cook Sakell (jcs@holmes.acc.virginia.edu) Originally created for discussion of Zwick x message to with the command "subscribe" in the subject line to be added to this list. The My So-Called Life mailing list. Maintained by: Virany M. Kreng (vmkreng@uci.edu) Created for discussing (what else?) MSCL in all aspects, from underlying themes to featured songs to characters' bad hair days. Send a nice message to the human at to be added to this list. Yet another indication of fan fervor over the show is the existence of not one, but again, _two_ episode guides detailing episodes of MSCL's fledgling season so far. Dave Chapman dave@cheers.demon.co.uk has an MSCL episode guide and occasionally posts it to rec.arts.tv. The Tardis TV archive (of which he is the maintainer) is available by ftp, WWW, gopher, and e-mail. For details, send an empty message to tardis-faq@cheers.demon.co.uk. The ftp site for this episode guide, along with 100's of other episode guides and related FAQ's, is at src.doc.ic.ac.uk in the directory /public/media/tv/collections/tardis. It is available on the WWW as http://src.doc.ic.ac.uk/public/media/tv/collections/tardis/ An MSCL episode guide, complete with summaries of episodes you might have missed, is available throught the World Wide Web. (Read on.) The summaries are written by Dennis and Kevin commentaries and interpretations by others are also included for your reading enjoyment. In an effort to spread the word about MSCL, one of the best shows on television which nonetheless faces extinction in the race for ratings, Kory Lasker, an industrious young lad with a big heart and disk space to match, has set up a homepage for MSCL. The site is constantly being updated, so it has all the cool MSCL-related audio files, text files, and pictures. The page can be accessed on the World Wide Web via Mosaic, Netlynx, or similar Web programs, at: http://www.umn.edu/nlhome/g564/lask0008/mscl.html Useful info such as ratings, articles, cast biographies, and assorted fun stuff are located here. An organization called OPERATION LIFE SUPPORT was recently created by fans Steve Joyner and Robyn Landis. As the name implies, this is a group dedicated to getting the attention of ABC and proving to them that MSCL _does_ have viewers. Information about OLS can be obtained by writing to (SAVEMSCL@aol.com). 10. THE SO-CALLED NETWORK. The following information has been culled from posts by subscribers to the My So-Called Life mailing list. These are the various ways they have found for you (yes, YOU) to get in touch with ABC and let them know that they have to renew MSCL, period. By snail mail: Edward Harbert, c/o ABC 2040 Avenue of the Stars Century City, CA 90067 ABC Productions 2020 Avenue of the Stars, 5th Floor Century City, CA 90067 By e-mail: Send a message to By phone: ABC productions... (310) 557-6860 ABC - Los Angeles... (310) 557-7777 ABC - New York... (212) 456-7777 By fax: ABC... (310) 557-7170 MSCL... (310) 479-2504 ABC Productions... (310) 557-6147 11. THE SO-CALLED ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. I would have to shoot myself in the foot if I forgot to mention the following... This text would not be possible without the input and suggestions of the subscribers to the Internet MSCL mailing list. These people are everyday saints who put up with mail delay, error messages, and incredibly huge traffic in their mailboxes, all in the blessed name of MSCL. I owe them all my gratitude in this life and two or three of my next ones. Ron Henry, for ratings information, episode titles, production information, and general support. Kory Lasker (lask0008@gold.tc.umn.edu), for his considerable time and effort in creating an amazingly cool Homepage for the show. Dennis Nedblake (dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu), for quick episode summaries and his unmistakeable general presence on the list. Kevin Chen (kchen@cc.gatech.edu), for episode summaries and general support when it was greatly needed! Heidi Paulsen (paulsen@acsu.buffalo.edu), for the intelligent interpretative posts and inside info on MSCL. Steve Joyner (river@skate.com) for organizing Operation Life Support, and giving MSCL a fighting chance. Dan Wood (danwood@netcom.com), for invaluable help putting this damned thing together. Misty Jones (Misty_Jones@baylor.edu), for compiling music information, especially since I hadn't even heard of some of these groups! Peter Dangerfield (PDDanger@aol.com), for the soundtrack info. And for various reasons (not just because I think they're neat): Byron C. Go, Dan Dixon, Randy Wong, Caroline Webb, Ellen "QueenMab9", Rob Ditto, Paul Rickter, Ben Schoenberg, Rob Ditto, David Feldman, Nicole Bell, KoriG, and Jesse Mullan. (I know I'm missing names here, not because I've forgotten, but because it's 4 in the morning and I'm out of cappuccino, damn it!) If I've forgotten your name, please e-mail me and flame me for forgetting to mention you. Maybe I've worked in this Alzheimer's lab too long. Finally: Marshall Herskovitz, Edward Zwick, Scott Winant, the various writers and directors, and the actors of MSCL who are responsible for making such a great show that we _can_ discuss like this. ... and of course, Winnie Holzman, for creating this underrated excellent little show and never failing to surprise us with its endless originality. ABC may not appreciate what they've got, but thank gawd we do! MSCL: FQA FQA and now, from the home office in picturesque Xi-an China... (sorry... chinese art history overdose) The My So-called Life Frequently Questioned Answers List Version 1.01 (c)1995 by Dennis Nedblake - all wrongs reserved. cave canem. 4. what is the address for: claire - 2020 avenue o' the stars, century city CA, 90067 ted - 2040 avenue o' the stars, century city CA, 90067 rest of the cast - assumed to be same as claire. 5. has claire posed for nude pictures? if she has, they haven't been scanned and posted to usenet - those were very bad fakes. and don't bitch at *me* about it - for some unknown reason, they actually fooled people, so i thought i'd just clear up that little UrbanLegend(tm). 6. where's the ftp site? ftp.isri.unlv.edu 7. where's the web page? http://www.umn.edu/nlhome/g564/lask0008/mscl.html 8. is there a newsgroup? yes, but it hasn't propagated very well. it's called alt.tv.my-s-c-life (there's also an alt.tv.my-so-called-life, but it propogated even less than a.t.my-s-c-life). 9. how do i get on the mailing list? send mail to listserv@netcom.com with the body "subscribe so-called " without the quotes or angle brackets. 10. have we ever seen tino? no. that's the whole joke (duh squared...) 11. have we ever seen the chases' cat? no. some suspect that the cat is named "tino" 12. have we ever seen brian's parents? no, but we've heard them 13. who did winnie holzman play? miss kryzanoski 14. did angela really turn down schindler's list to do mscl? not really. she turned down SL anyway, 'cause she couldn't get a tutor, and her parents weren't crazy about the idea of her spending a large ammount of time in a concentration camp in europe (go figure) 15. Who are Corey/Delia/Abyssinia? Corey - the guy that Rickie had a crush on and Angela tried to pick up. known for shoe-painting powers and doing the scenery for "our town" Delia - The girl that Brian was mean to and Rickie was nice to in "The Life of Brian". Currently Sharon's right-hand woman in yearbook. she still hates Brian passionately. Abyssinia - the girl who helped Angela with her geometry in "Pressure". Got the role of the Stage Manager (not the part of the stage manager that's Rickie - there's a character in the play who is actually called "the Stage Manager") 16. Say, has anybody noticed a similarity between Mr. Katimski's last name and Jason Katims? Nicky Driscoll and Diane Driscoll? Jordan Catalano and Jenifer Catalano? yes, we noticed. probably just the production staff's way of lightening the tension or something. 17. Is there an MSCL drinking game? Where can I get it? uh, yeah. available on the web page, or send mail to me if you don't have web access. 18. Where does the series take place? Three Rivers, Pennsylvania - a fictional suburb of Pittsburgh 19. Who does the music for the series? W.G. Snuffy Walden. Great, isn't he? 20. Is there a FAQ (as opposed to a FQA) list where i can get information about the actors/music/etc? yup. look for it on the web page, or if you don't have a web browser, ask kory or virany for a copy 21. I missed an episode/some episodes/all of the episodes. (or I didn't tape an episode/some episodes/all of the episodes.) Could someone make a tape for me? yes, but if you post a tape request to the list, i'll send Heidi to your house to shave thirty percent of your dog. Send tape requests to Virany, and she will either make you a tape or forward your tape request to someone who will make you a tape, depending on how much time she has. again, DO NOT post tape requests to the list. or some unpleasant consequences will result. 22. Why doesn't everyone just post to the newsgroup? because we don't all *get* the newsgroup, crackow. geez. get a clue. why do you think we made the mailing list in the first place? to avoid kibologists? (as of this revision, my site still carries no MSCL newsgroups) 23. beg pardon? sorry. a Kibologist is a follower of James "Leader Kibo" Perry, a usenet news personality of note. he invented the church of Kibo, which seeks to reduce religion to it's essential form - you giving him money. failing that, his followers like to post bizarre messages in any newsgroup that takes their fancy. it wears thin after the first two or three. 24. Who the hell are you, anyway? I'm just another MSCL fan-person. I do episode summaries for the list I wrote the drinking game, and i'm working on a fanfic (actually, i've gotten to the first set of commercials on five different openings of the same fanfic...). 26. Who can help me if i'm having problems? * Byron - our new list admin! * Virany - the original ListGoddess(tm) and one of the nicest people in the universe, unlike... * Me - if i'm in a good mood. If not, watch out for flying sarcasm. * Kory - if you have WWW questions, he's your guy. but since he's so nice as to run the semi-official MSCL web site, don't swamp him or anything. * Misty - the best choice for those musical questions. THANKS to Kevin, Kori, and the twenty different people who told me the name of the other mscl newsgroup, as well as the five or six people who mentioned that i reversed the 'sr' in the name of the ftp site. --me! dennis - dogbert@witherspoon.umkc.edu "gotta own up on my own somehow / toss the beginning and try to live it down / and work my way out / i been so down about it..." --lemonheads: _down about it_ gee... and here i thought it was just a vaguely amusing way to waste time... =) here's the brand spanking new version 2.0 of the drinking game. belated merry christmas 'n' stuff. send suggestions to dnedblake@cctr.umkc.edu or, if that doesn't work, dnedblake@vax1.umkc.edu (dogbert is going byebye sometime soon, sadly. it was an account name before it's time, i tell you) My so-called Life: the Drinking Game Version 2.0 (revised version after most of a season) "one drink" is hereby defined as a normal-sized mouthful of your beverage of choice (beer, zima, mixed drink - whatever) (although, as the esteemed Virany noted, that zima crap may leave you with that not-so-fresh feeling) You must take one drink every third time one of these occurs: angela pulls her hair back behind her ears graham cooks something (in the episode "self-esteem") angela kisses jordan or jordan kisses angela You must take one drink every time one of the following occurs: angela says "rayanne!" rayanne is accused of sleeping with someone -it's true -she acts surprised that they're upset about it someone looks at rickie oddly while he's in the women's restroom -he acts like there's something wrong with them for mentioning it patty says or does something that causes a visible or audible reaction of disgust from angela angela completely misses an obvious clue that brian is madly in love with her brian does something petty brian calls angela 'chase' angela calls brian 'crackow' anyone calls jordan 'catalano' anyone calls sharon 'czerski' danielle acts like she's starved for attention jordan acts really nice jordan acts like a complete prick jordan's illiteracy is mentioned -it's an indirect mention, like one of his teachers is mentioning that he didn't do his homework -angela is trying to talk to him about it and he refuses to discuss it angela uses that disembodied monologue thing, so we hear her thoughts rayanne's mom makes an appearance (but only the first one, in episodes where she appears more than once) sharon's mom makes an appearance sharon's breasts are commented upon sharon and angela are snippy to one another sharon and angela are nice to one another rayanne is mean to sharon in a friendly, endearing sort of way one of the main characters walks out of class without explaining to the teacher where they're going one of the main characters skips class completely one of the main characters attends a class with one of the other main characters that they aren't supposed to be in angela overreacts to something (any other episode) angela kisses jordan/jordan kisses angela one of angela's grandparents put in an appearance angela's uncle (that's the same guy as graham's brother, by the way) makes an appearance you must take two drinks every time one of the following happens: some yutz claims, in alt.fan.teen.starlets, to have/have posted/have seen nude graphic files (.gif, .jpg, or other) of claire danes sharon and rayanne are nice to one another rayanne calls angela 'angelika' or some other extension of her name a class is taught by a substitute a class is taught by it's genuine teacher brian and rickie have a casual chat about something patty is vastly overprotective any of the characters appear in gym class (long scenes or scenes involving more than one character only count once) lisa wilhoit (danielle) has an obvious growth spurt from the last episode you watched someone's breasts besides sharon's are discussed angela lays on her bed or the floor of her room, crying -about jordan patty suspects angela of doing something horrible and it isn't true patty suspects angela of doing something horrible and it is true patty and/or graham lie to angela and/or danielle the chases' invisible cat's presence is noted (someone feeding it, etc) danielle has an utterly classic line (eg. "do we have to keep talking about religion? it's christmas!") graham is the comic relief graham and patty get romantic (use your own best judgement) any of the adult characters reminisce about their high school days rayanne gets drunk someone mentions frozen embryos (except the members thereof) or it's successor, between names frozen embryos' drummer and bass player get in a fight two or more of the characters hug each other we just miss seeing tino tino is nice to rayanne, in his invisible way any member of the audience correctly predicts the next line of a new episode a well-known (more than one audience member can correctly identify it) pop/alternative/whatever song is part of the soundtrack -two more drinks if that artist/group has appeared in the soundtrack before angela and rickie have a heart-to-heart sharon plays her clarinet jordan plays guitar and/or sings -about his car brian and sharon have a heart-to-heart a relative of one of the primary cast members besides angela (the ones who are mentioned in the opening credits) who hasn't already been mentioned appears. the principal appears (the gun episode only counts once) someone (in the show or the audience) describes graham as 'cute' you must take three drinks every time one of the following happens: angela kisses jordan/jordan kisses angela angela decides she's over jordan angela changes her mind and decides she's not over jordan after all angela smiles that smile where her whole face lights up like a pinball machine when you get a free game a well-known actor from another series appears in a cameo both of angela's maternal grandparents appear in an episode -another drink if they're both there simultaneously. rickie mentions that he doesn't fit, and is disturbed about it (well, who wouldn't be?) a similarly well-known non-actor appears in a cameo angela gets upset because of something mean she's done to her mom rayanne's sexuality is not mentioned/observable for an entire episode angela must pretend not to be upset about learning something new about jordan's previous... umm... (if you don't get this rule, just drink the whole damn bottle.) angela and patty discuss sex/birth control angela drives (run away!!!!) someone else does the disembodied monologue for an episode. a character's underwear is displayed (except rayanne), whether they're wearing it or not jordan leans against something and doesn't look like james dean doing it four drinks: jordan sleeps with someone, and it's not angela there is no first-person disembodied monologue in the episode you're watching angela sleeps with someone, and it's not jordan rayanne and brian are linked, sexually, by a non-sexual activity (sleeping together in the school's basement, phone sex, etc) angela agonizes about *not* having slept with someone, jordan or not you miss a drink that everyone else took five drinks: the actual artist who's playing the song in the soundtrack appears in the episode continuity screws up and one of the characters gets a sudden change of clothing, a prop suddenly teleports, or other obvious continuity screwups you feel like finishing off your drink. you must chug everything within reach if one of the following happens: angela sleeps with jordan rayanne sleeps with jordan rickie sleeps with jordan angela gets drunk rickie sleeps with anyone, for that matter danielle walks in on graham and patty (or angela and jordan) while they're making "the beast with two backs" as shakespeare put it brian fails a class sharon sleeps with anyone (sorry. the "like constantly" line doesn't count.) just generally any character who isn't married has sex, except rayanne. and married characters count if they aren't having sex with who they're married to brian decides he's over angela and takes up with someone else (and doesn't dump them by the midpoint of the episode) brian decides he's over angela and takes up with rickie rayanne refuses to sleep with a reasonably attractive male character who wants to sleep with her a character from thirtysomething makes a cameo appearance as their character from thirtysomething any reference is made to the warner brothers cartoon "animaniacs" there is a crossover episode with any of the "star trek" series someone finds a story based on characters from MSCL in one of the erotica groups the internet is mentioned during an episode you're sick of this stupid game and just wanna get lit like a goddamn candle MTV ARENA: Claire Danes & Juliana Hatfield, December 22, 1994 [Note: the original transcript looks really broken up, so I've taken the liberty of screwing with the format here and there to make it easier to read but other than that, nothing's been changed, even typos are the same despite my urge to fix 'em... -virany] OnlineHost : MTV Online welcomes tonight's guests, Juliana Hatfield and Claire Danes. OnlineHost : Welcome to the MTV Arena, Claire... ClaireDnes : Hey there everybody! OnlineHost : Welcome all, let's get rolling... JHatfield1 : Hi, all. Mtvmail : Candlebox Question : Claire, how did you get the role of Angela? ClaireDnes : I auditioned just like any other role Mtvmail : Candlebox Question : is Jared Leto agood kisser? JHatfield1 : I don't know ClaireDnes : Ummm... yeah, he's a great guy Mtvmail : Wiggie Question : Julianna....Why did you decide to hold the concert last year in Baltimore when so few people could attend due to the ICE storm?? When are ya coming back....missed ya and hope to see ya in concert again....WiggieBG ClaireDnes : I'm excited to be talking to you all JHatfield1 : I never cancel shows. I wanted to play for the people who could make it, you know? MTVee1 : YeeGF Question : When is your new album comming out? JHatfield1 : The new record comes out in March. Mtvmail : EhawkeFan Question : Claire, was a fun to work with Winona Ryder? ClaireDnes : Yeah, she's really neat - I have such respect for her MTVee1 : GerTheBea Question : Holly Hoffmann (my daughter heard a rumor) that MSL may be cancelled--wants to know how to save it. Who to write to? ClaireDnes : You know - I don't know the adress off hand but my Mom is Mom is running to find the adress right Mtvmail : Bugpup Question : Juliana, do you miss the Blake Babies? (Tell Dave Snow hello from Jeff Robinson) JHatfield1 : I miss Freda and John a lot but breaking up the band was the right thing to do. gotta move on Question : claire what's it like to kiss jared leto??? hate to sound like a teeny bopper, but WOW!! JHatfield1 : Who are you. ClaireDnes : You know, I bet half the questions I get tonight will be about Jared... he's a lot more than a good kisser JHatfield1 : Jeff Robinson MTVee1 : MKWallace Question : Claire, I am constantly blown away by the quality of the show. When (not if) it continues, will more of the characters narrate an episode, like the one when Brian narrated? (Mary Wallace) ClaireDnes : Yeah - I actually liked that idea also. I think it's fun to float around different people's heads MTVee1 : EHawkeFan Question : Claire, we love you!!! ClaireDnes : Ahhh. That makes me feel good Mtvmail : Celticgur Question : How long has Juliana been playing guitar and has she always been comfortable singing? JHatfield1 : I had my first gtr lessons at age ten or so. but then gace it up for a while until high school. It took me a real long time to learn how to use my voice. I'm still sometimes uncomfortable MTVee1 : Babafooey Question : Claire, would you ever go on Howard Stern? ClaireDnes : I've never listened to his show - or seen it on t.v. - I'm doing my first night time show week on the John Stewart Show MTVee1 : EHawkeFan Question : Claire, how long have you been acting? ClaireDnes : I danced as a little girl and did sort of artsy-fartsy off- off B'way things - but I did my first student film when I was 11 and found out about film. I fell in love and was hooked MTVee1 : FY6001 Question : Claire, aren't you staring in the new movie, Little Women??? ClaireDnes : NO, Winona's the lead - but I play one of the 4 sisters - I'ts a great movie - I'd certainly pay 7.50 to go see it OnlineHost : If you'de like to Keep MSCL on the air, write to this address: MY SO CALLED LIFE ABC PUBLIC RELATIONS 2040 AVE OF STARS LOS ANGELES, CA 90067 Mtvmail : Johnsk433 Question : Does Juliana have an e-mail address? JHatfield1 : I don't know if I want to answer that . Let me think for a minute. ClaireDnes : Juliana - I just want to say it was so much fun to have you be a part of the show for a little while. I just saw the episode for the first time last night and you were great in it. Mtvmail : JoshShea Question : I have a question for Julianna. I caught you at the Cambridge Side Gallery in Cambridge Mass this September. Afterward, they took you away on a boat. Where did they take you? JHatfield1 : They took me to the dungeon. MTVee1 : Brettster Question : Juliana, will we see you on TV in the future? ClaireDnes : The song you wrote for it is amazing. One of my favorites this year. JHatfield1 : My band will probly be on tv next year but I don't have any other "acting" jobs coming up Mtvmail : WTB777 Question : Claire, Many people think you're the best young actress to come along since Jodie and Winona. Do you feel any pressure with all this attention paid to your skills at such an early age? JHatfield1 : Claire, it was MY huge pleasure working with you on the show. You are a humunguos talent and a sweetie ClaireDnes : Oh... it's an honor to be so well recieved. And, yeah, it's hard to work after youv'e just gotten some praise- sometimes the good reviews are almost as scary as the bad one's. But I just have to focus on the acting and trust that if I stick to my thing everything will work out MTVee1 : LICFRD422 Question : Juliana, what songs do you perform on the show? JHatfield1 : I perform a song called "Make it Home", which I wrote for tonight's episode. It will be on the "MSCL" soundtrack which comes out in Jan. Mtvmail : JGalecpa Question : Claire, There seems to always be a symetry in stories: what happens to the younger crowd seems to be happening to the older ones too. What kind of input do the characteres have with the writers? ClaireDnes : The writers pretty much decide what the story lines are gonna be - but they are open to ideas from us thespians MTVee1 : Awmitchel Question : Are you like Angela? ClaireDnes : Yes and No - I still wonder how similar our personalities actually are- obviously I have to relate to her in order to live in her shoes Mtvmail : Fellowtre Question : Am I the oldest one here? I'm 33 and a MSCL fan ClaireDnes : Good - we want a diverse audiance! MTVee1 : Neiss Question : Jules: When's the new album/tour due? JHatfield1 : album is called "Only Everything" and it comes out in late March. don't have tour dates yet. MTVee1 : DanteRoo Question : claire, was your hair blondish-brown before the show and you dyed it afterward, or what? You look great as a red-head. ClaireDnes : Oh - thanks - we're trying to go back to my natural color now - whatever that may be MTVee1 : KcGym Question : What type of music do you listen to (Claire Daines) ClaireDnes : Lots of different stuff - I'm not to into heavy metal or loe song - pop - ballady sort of thigs. BUt I like some alternative - some rap - some jazz, blues - Aritha Franklin is my fave female singer Mtvmail : Cacodemon Question : Hi Claire, how do you like this computer online crap? ClaireDnes : This is fun man - typing is a blast - and I love hearing what audiances have to say feed back is great Mtvmail : Shelds1DE Question : Juliana; Do you still keep in tuch with Steamie Gregg? I enjoyed your concert in Philadelphia 1.5 years ago; regards, Julie Sandler JHatfield1 : Oh my God. Hi Julie! I was thinking about you and Steamie and Charlie Capp and Will Youngs last night I swear to god! How is it going? You can't answer me maybe right now but no hard feelings ok? E-mail me to this screen name if you want, Julie MTVee1 : PeaceKin asks Juliana and Claire, Question : Where do you like to live more, LA or NY? ClaireDnes : Right now I'm living in LA mostly. I just got in to N.Y.C. N.Y.C a few hours ago - there's no place like home JHatfield1 : I like New York more. L.A. bugs me out if I stay there too long. It is fun to visit, though. Mtvmail : CoraYme Question : Being 15 myself, I was wondering how you can juggle school and your career? ClaireDnes : It's difficult.My hours on the set are strictly regulated 'cause I'm a minor - % hrs. in front of camera, 3 hrs. in school (a room with a tutor), 1 hr. rest and recreation and a half hour of lunch. And there not in blocks of time - they are split up into different like 20 minute incriments. I go from a crying scene to studying geometry and vice verca all day ClaireDnes : Its hard to focus. Mtvmail : TishG1033 Question : what is tonight's episode about? JHatfield1 : It's about Rickie and hom and home and what is home and ClaireDnes : Um - Rickies thrown out of his house cause his father dissapproaves of him being gay - and doesn't tell any of his friends about it. Angela finds out though that he's living in a wherehouse where other homeless kids stay. JHatfield1 : it's gonna be reall moving. I play a homeless girl who sort of watches over Rickie ClaireDnes : It's a real revelation for her - to understand that there are kids who don't have places to sleep at night. It ties into the whole spirt of xmas. Juliana plays a runaway JHatfield1 : Claire, what happened with that guy Gary who was in "Family"? Wasn't he gonna be on the show 2 night? ClaireDnes : Gary? I'm a little young to be farmilliar with "Family". Sorry. I could ask though JHatfield1 : DON't you remember ---Kristy Mc Nichol?? MTVee1 : NoseMilk Question : I heard that this week's show will be the last. is this true? are there any other shows that were produced that won't be aired? JHatfield1 : Hey, brothers and sisters--get ready to turn on your tvs ClaireDnes : No, no, no... there are plenty of other fun filled episodes We stop airing (we don't know for how long) at the end of Jan. MTVee1 : Cassidy95 Question : Juliana, we saw Antennae open up for Jellyfish about a year and a half ago, what do you think of their stuff?by the way i still have this handwritten note from you that you sent to me with a blake babies lp back when i was a music director in 88 i cherish it JHatfield1 : There are only 1000 copies of that record. J JHatfield1 : Antenna are great Mtvmail : JGalecpa Question : Claire, on the show you come from a small nuclear family. How does your own compare? ClaireDnes : I live with my very cool parents who have been married for like 27 years (I feel lucky) and my 22 yr. old bro. is in Liberia in Africa right now working for Unicef. I miss him a lo Mtvmail : KevinS987 Question : Juliana what enspires you when you write your music? Example Sister you dont have one. JHatfield1 : I am inspired by books, movies, nature, people I know and also strangers also I get inspired to write when I see a band that moves me for example, after I saw Sunny Day Real Estate play for the first time, I ran home and wrote 2 songs Mtvmail : Neiss Question : J: I saw you at "summerstage" in NYC last July (amidst a huge rainstorm) and you read to us wet, bedraggled souls to keep us happy. What were you reading from? JHatfield1 : Someone had given me Emma Goldman's "Anarchism" a while earlier that day. That's what I was reading MTVee1 : Shelley80 Question : How many albums do you have Julianna JHatfield1 : How many do I own? sorry. I have 2 records out and one is coming in March. Also there are a bunch of Blake Babies records (My old band). I forget how many Mtvmail : Mrinrman Question : Claire, I understand you're a ballerina, how long have you been doing it and do you think you may have a future in it??? ClaireDnes : A ballerina? No. I was a Modern dance person. No, dance was never a top priority, but it has certainly helped me with my acting. It's amazing how important body movement is in expressing emotion. MTVee1 : Gotta run, Eastcoasters Tune in NOW! to ABC, or watch @ 8PM... MTVee1 : ...and also look for the upcoming Atlantic Rcds. 'Music From The TV Series My So-Called Life,' avail. 1/24/95.--- MTVee1 : The soundtrack includes: Buffalo Tom, Bettie Serveert, Afghan Whigs, Daniel Johnston... and of course, Juliana Hatfield! Thanks for joining us, Happy Holidays, Claire and Juliana. JHatfield1 : You can e-mail me at this screen name for a limited time (That's for the person who asked). Thanks , everyone , for hanging out. Bye, Claire. You rule. ClaireDnes : Thanks a lot everyone for chatt'n with my buddy and I. This is neat - it's so bizarre to communicate with out sound. But go watch the show. Yuo'll laugh, you'll cry... but no kissing tonight. Sorry. Just wait though. The romance isn't ova yet. Thanks again. JHatfield1 : The words the happy say are paltry melody.but those the silent feel are beautiful (or something) MTVee1 : Goodnite! Happy Holidays to all, thanks for stopping by.A Transcript of 2nites Arena event will be... MTVee1 : available to download from the MTV Arena Transcript area. Laaaaaaterrrrrrrr! -------- From BO921359@arus.ubishops.caWed Jan 25 23:09:44 1995 Date: Wed, 25 Jan 1995 18:59:29 EST From: CORY BOYD To: eabu202@ea.oac.uci.edu Subject: INTERVIEW interview with claire danes CLAIRE DANES Start Remembering Her Name-You're Going To Need To Know It Interview by Mark Marvel Claire Danes: My name is Claire. I"m fifteen years old. I grew up in New York, on Crosby Street in SoHo. Nobody else in my family acts. Mark Marvel: So how did you get involved in acting? CD: It's kind of a long story; I guess everyone has a long story. I've danced since I was a little girl--modern dance. I did a few artsy-fartsy dance performances on the Lower East Side, and that got me started performing. Then I went to the Lee Strasbourg Performing Institute when I was eleven and I learned more about what acting was and I loved it. Then I went to this brand-new performing arts junior high school because I hated my elementary school and I wanted to get out. MM: Do you empathize with your character, Angela, in MSCL, because she hates school too. CD: Well, yeah. When you're a teenager it's hard not empathizing with that. But Angela is a really hard role because she talks about ideas that I myself haven't yet sorted out. So it's sort of-- MM: Method living. CD: Yeah, it's like picking at this open sore. That sounds a little dark, but it's true. MM: What was it like to play a teen from a different time in Little Woman? CD: I had to do a serious switching of gears from this '90's grunge chick, whatever that means, to this homey, saintly character. It was fun to finally dip my feet into some new waters because I had worked so long on MSCL. But LW really about being a teenager; it's more about the relationship between the sisters and being a family. A huge part of my role in the movie is that I die, which was a pretty intense experience. I didn't expect it to be as hard as it was. I would change into this scarlet fever makeup in the trailer and it was really upsetting. I remember walking onto the set for the first time that way. the crew would whisper when they were around me. They'd open doors for me. It was hard for my mom to look at me like that, and hard for me too. I did looping a few weeks ago, and I was there for, like, nine-and-a-half hours looking at myself sick and dying. I left all shaken up that day. MM: Death isn't something teenagers often think about. CD: At every stage in life you think about death. But teenagers especially are sort of invincible. They're no supposed to be thinking about dying yet, or else they'd be too afraid to live. Beth's regarded as the weak, frail sister, though in a lot of ways she supports the rest of the family--especially Jo, which is ironic because Jo is the outgoing, brave, strong one. MM: What was it like to discover through Beth sucj a different period in the lives of women. CD: When we started I didn't know anything about that time period. I'd read the book. They gave us this little pamphlet of mannerisms and rules of ettiquette. I thought, Shit, do I have to read this whole thing? Do I have to memorize all of this? Like, you can do a million things with a fan at a party, and there are all these flirtation signals. Woman had to sit up straight all the time, and wear these corsets. And I'm thinking, How brutal to live like that. It's great to know we've come this far, although we have a lot further to go. As with any kind of prejudice, we're not even aware of half the levels to it. If we knew how women were discriminated against, we might be able to solve the problem. MM: It must give you new understanding when you do a movie that lets you see the roots of some of that. CD: I learned a lot doing this movie. And I felt really lucky working with such a strong group of women. MM: What did you learn most about yourself? CD: God, that's a heavy question. It gave me a new appreciation for people like Beth, who are overlooked and underappreciated. When I first walked into LW, I was saying," How am I going to play Beth? I don't have anything in common with this character." As the shoot continued I realized we were similar in certain ways. MM:How? CD: I never thought of myself as shy, and then I relaized I am kind of shy; I've just built defences to hide it. Beth also has a maturity, which I think I have, and maybe I brought that to her--this understanding about her family and how it works. She's perceptive and I'm perceptive. But the thing that I really respected about Beth was her generousity toward other people, which I wish I could have more of. People ask me if I would hang out with Angela if she were real, and I don't know if I would, yet I find solace with her, and we've gotten close in a lot of ways. It can be so lonely when I work. There aren't many kids my age, besides the people on the show, that I hang around with. I'm close to them, but sometimes it doesn't cut it as a social life. So Angela does become my friend, you know. MM: What do you think about the way teenagers are represented today--you know the whole Generation X thing? CD: Well what do you think that image is? The slacker thing? Or having no hope? Or being cycnical? I think people of my generation are really worrying about their zits, and getting that date for Friday night. I think that's their reality. I don't know if they're worrying too hard about their future MM: Is that stuff you worry about yourself? CD: What, zits and if I'm going to get that date? Oh absolutely, and thank God I do. It proves I'm normal. But I'm constantly analyzing being a teenager. Every week I have to look in the mirror of the show. When I was a little girl, I worshipped those John Hughes movies, like Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club; Footloose is still one of my favorite movies. I was fascinatedwith teenagers, and I wanted to be one so badly. And here I am sort of living in one of those movies! MM: Do you think it's a good time to be a teenager now? CD: It's an exciting time. But I also think people are afraid somehow. this is sort of a scary time--with AIDS and all this technology, and the media and everything. MM: Scarlet fever was an equivalent to AIDS at the time of LW. Even at fifteen, you have to think about AIDS now. CD: Yes, but I don't deal with it directly. I'm not even having sex yet. But it is this overlying cloud or fear that surrounds you. It is there in the back part of my head. MM: Talking about fear, do you ever get that the feeling that adults are scared of teenagers. CD: Yes, in the sense that their kids are finally thinking for themselves and becoming less dependent and likely to do something different. Teenagers have this intense energy that can't be touched and is so specific to that age. It's very powerful, I think, and frightening to adults. There might also be a tinge of jealousy, because teenagers have these healthy bodies and they're ready to attack the world. That can be threatening. Change is scary, and most adults don't quite trust that. MM: Has your life changed? CD: It's taken this huge 180-degree turn overnight, it seems. When I started MSCL, my family and I moved across the country. I left all my friends behind and now I'm living this strange life in a bubble. I've gotten close to a whole new group of people. A lot has happened, and I'm still digesting it all, but it's good. I wanted it all to happen and I'm so thankful I'm having a break from high school. Working gives you this new perspective. You don't take everything too seriously, and if you realize that if you don't do too well ona history test it's not the end of the world. But it also gives you this distance from other kids, which is sad, because it's like this point of no return. Now I feel more different than I already did. reproduced without permission, sorry for any and all mistakes, hope you liked the article, you should try to get a look at the pictures. cory