From netsurf.com!editor-bounce Fri Feb 17 13:25:00 1995 Return-Path: Received: from pipeline.netsurf.com by salyko.cube.net with smtp (Smail3.1.29.1 #1) id m0rfRjV-0016PmC; Fri, 17 Feb 95 13:24 MET Received: by pipeline.netsurf.com (8.6.9/Netsurf-3.2) id EAA13914; Fri, 17 Feb 1995 04:57:28 -0800 Date: Fri, 17 Feb 1995 04:57:28 -0800 From: editor-bounce@netsurf.com (Netsurfer Digest) Message-Id: <199502171257.EAA13914@pipeline.netsurf.com> Content-Type: text/html Subject: Netsurfer Digest: Vol. 01, #10 (HTML) Apparently-To: mmatting@cube.net Netsurfer Digest 01.10

NETSURFER DIGEST

Tuesday, February 14, 1995 - Volume 01, Issue 10
"More Signal, Less Noise"

OUR SPONSORS: Netsurfer Marketplace #03, Valentine's Edition

ABOUT...

About the Valentine's Day Issue of Netsurfer Digest
About Netsurfer Digest

THE HUNT

The Romance FAQ
The Personal Web
Love Looms Large
The Love That Dared Not Speak Its Name
Advice to the Lovelorn
Shout Your Love from the Servers

THE CHASE

Let Cyrano Speak Your Love
Aphrodite's Love Palace
The World of Romance
Chocolate and Candy
Flowers
Wine
The Day at Cupid's Cove
A Trip to the Gallery
A Few One-Liners

THE CATCH

Alt.sex FAQ
Pure of Heart and Mind
Yes, But How Do the Neighbors Do It?
Better Safe Than Sorry
A Sheath for the Sword
Leather and Lace
The Tools for the Job
How to Do It
A Little Gender Bender

THE BANQUET

Long Distance Romance
Three Is Not Always a Crowd
The Compost Heap of Love
The Agony of the Ecstasy

THE MORNING AFTER

Bliss, of the Marital Variety
The Patter of Little Tax Deductions
Breaking Up, High Explosives, and You
The Valentine Thief

CONTACT INFORMATION

CREDITS

ABOUT...


About this special issue

ABOUT THE VALENTINE'S DAY ISSUE OF NETSURFER DIGEST

For our non-regular readers, here's a brief explanation. This is a special issue of Netsurfer Digest revolving around the traditional themes of Valentine's Day. Here you will find love, romance, a little sex (well, OK, quite a bit of sex actually) and some pointers to Valentine related sites. We've roughly organized this issue to follow the typical course of a relationship from finding someone to either long-term bliss or a crash-and-burn re-entry into the single life. It's by no means exhaustive, but it will get you started. Have fun, and send it to someone you love.

ABOUT NETSURFER DIGEST

Netsurfer Digest is your free guide to interesting news, places, and resources online. It is delivered by E-Mail to any mailbox reachable via the Internet. Each week it brings you short, crisp newsbites, notices, and reviews designed to provide informative and entertaining snapshots of the vast wired world. You can find out more on our home page and if you like what you see here, you can subscribe using the subscription form link listed below. Netsurfer Digest Home Page: "http://www.netsurf.com/nsd/" Subscription Form: "http://www.netsurf.com/nsd/subscribe.html"

THE HUNT


Scouting the Herd

THE ROMANCE FAQ

Before beginning your hunt for love, you should pick up a few tips from the ever useful alt.romance FAQ. Find the answer to the unanswerable question "What do women want?", learn how to give back rubs and massages, find tips on how to snuggle (no, really!), and learn to deal with that whole "Nice Guy" problem. Naturally there are tips on dating - "Wear something that makes you feel pretty - an outfit that's proved itself, with comfortable shoes" and "Never take your pants off before your socks." You can also learn to say "I love you" in several languages. "http://www.dina.kvl.dk/~fischer/alt.romance/faq.html"

THE PERSONAL WEB

The Web itself provides some fine sites for seeking out everything from true love to fake boobs. The best site for the former may well be the Web Personals page, which is hit over 100,000 times per day. What could be more romantic then seeking your love in the language of romance? For that you'll have to go to Chez Babs Petites Annonces, where you'll find many ads in French, and a few in English. Also worth checking out is the small but lively Internet Personals page. Our UK readers may want to cruise Love Link for some local action. Web Personals: "http://www.netmedia.com:80/date/" Chez Babs: "http://www.labri.u-bordeaux.fr/~goudal/Annonces/annonces.html" Internet Personals: "http://www.montagar.com/personals/index.html" Love Link: "http://www.gold.net/lovelink/"

LOVE LOOMS LARGE

Superthin supermodels may rule the media, but your real-life sweetheart could turn out to be much more substantial. A quick glance at newsgroups turns up no less than two for hooking up with the dimensionally challenged: alt.personals.big-folks (259 articles) and alt.personals.fat (148 articles). On the Web, there is the crucial Dimensions magazine "Where Big Is Beautiful". You get fat facts, fiction, romance, photo features, and interviews with fat performers. Naturally, full-size pictures of covergirl Sabrina Brown are available. So are sample personal ads. "http://www.globalmark.com/globalmark/dim.html"

THE LOVE THAT DARED NOT SPEAK ITS NAME

Fortunately, the days of silence are long over. If your potential love is likely to share the same locker room as you, then start looking on the Queer Inforservers page. A rainbow colored collection of subject-sorted links will lead you to gay, bi, and lesbian resources all over the world. Oscar would approve. "http://server.berkeley.edu/mblga/queer-infoservers.html"

ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN

Are you vexed by love? Need some burning questions answered about those burning sensations? It may be time for some advice. First, there is the hard-to-reach Lucy Lipps, "The Siren of Style", with her own 900 phone number. You'll love Lucy's lips, but beware her tips. Love Tips of the Day is just a selection of ads loosely tied to the dating theme. Enter her Parlor for some rather tame advice for guys and dolls. An alternative is Dr. Love, an E-Mail service from the still under construction MCS Online Matchmaker. But why does Dr. Love need your street address? Maybe you can ask him. Lucy Lipps: "http://www.cybersim.com/lucylips" Dr. Love: "http://www.prairienet.org/~connor/love.html"

SHOUT YOUR LOVE FROM THE SERVERS

Proclaim your love in public with the very graphic, and consequently very large, Valentine Bulletin Board page. Choose one of several card designs, tack on your message, and post it publicly. The World Wide Valentines page, up until February 18, is a text-only version of the same idea. Check if someone remembered you this year. If you want to send your own via E-Mail, you may be able to use the Valentine ASCII art file as a resource. Valentine Bulletin Board: "http://www.execpc.com/assist/valentine/" World Wide Valentines: "http://www.netview.com/valentin/" ASCII Art: "gopher://twinbrook.cis.uab.edu/0A/D/HappyVal.art"

THE CHASE


Cornering the Fox

LET CYRANO SPEAK YOUR LOVE

Does your prose fail to ignite passion in even a hormonal rabbit? Never fear, Cyrano is here! Supply a few words about your beloved on the form, click the submit button, and out pops an E-Mail love letter delivered directly to the object of your desire. The versatile Web poet can produce love notes in Steamy, Indecisive, Surreal, Desperate, Intellectual, and Poetic styles. You may want to mail the letter to yourself first to make sure Cyrano won't get you into any trouble. On the other hand, if you're into some weird group E-Mail love thing, you can just as easily send it to a large mailing list. Can you say embarrassed? "http://www.nando.net/toys/cyrano.html"

APHRODITE'S LOVE PALACE

At this veritable temple of passion brimming with tools for the modern lover, you'll find a delightful selection of love poems you can use to woo your beloved - "Click here to set the floods of passion rushing". Whet your appetite for success by listening to the sounds of passion with a choice of the Cyberkiss, the French kiss, the English French Kiss (hot, boiled, and saucy?) and L'Amore Italiano. Add some ideas for spoiling your intended and you're ready for action. "http://www.dircon.co.uk/purplet/love.html"

THE WORLD OF ROMANCE

Yet another site dedicated to things romantic. You can ask romantic questions from Mr. Romance, but sadly, you can't see any answers here. There is a Romance survey, which leads us to believe that there is a three-way tie for most romantic city between New York, Pensacola, and San Francisco. Use the Romantic Experiences server to share your favorite moments with the Net, subscribe to the "Love Letters" newsletters, and get information about romantic software. It's all new and rather sparse, but promising. "http://www.sos.net/romance/romance.html"

CHOCOLATE AND CANDY

The first of the holy trinity of dating gifts. Show up at the door with a box of chocolate and your date will either swoon with passion or smack you for ruining her diet. The Chocolate Lovers' page will bring you chocoholic nirvana. A more waistline-friendly alternative is the heart-shaped candy at the Internet Candy Dish. Visit and a random assortment of candy with catchy little messages pops up on your screen. The word cute comes to mind, and leaves immediately. Chocolate Lover's Page: "http://www.ios.com/~shag/chocolate.html" Internet Candy Dish: "http://orange-room.cc.nd.edu/ToyBox/ICD/ICD.exe"

FLOWERS

A date without flowers? Inconceivable! Nothing says "I care" like a dying handful of nature's colorful and fragrant bounty. Check for allergies, then shower your date with petals, stems, and pollen. Here are three Net-friendly vendors who will happily outfit you for the outing. Blue Ribbon Orchids: "http://www.cts.com/~netsales/bro2/" Kaua'i Exotix: "http://www.service.digital.com/ke/index.html" 1-800-THE-ROSE: "http://www.netmarket.com/flowers/bin/main/:grm|:mode=text"

WINE

The last of the trinity. Nothing like a good glass of Slovenian red to get your date to loosen up. One sip and out spill those intimate personal details you'd ordinarily only learn between the wedding and the bitter custody battle over the family poodle. Either that or the underwear goes flying out the window. These sites will lead you to the best of the grape on the Net. The World Wide Winery, based in Italy, is multilingual. Wines of Slovenia: "http://www.ijs.si/wine_uvod.html" Wines on the Internet: "http://www.wines.com/" World Wide Winery: "http://www.intellectics.co.at/casadelvino/"

THE DAY AT CUPID'S COVE

It used to be that a boy took his date to the carnival, bought her some candy, helped her throw up after the whirling tea cups, then gently steered her to the Tunnel of Love for some lip-smacking medicinal comfort (smarter boys did the lip smacking BEFORE the throwing up). Today that outing can happen in front of a monitor, as you take your date on a tour of Cupid's Cove, a love carnival of a site from the folks at USA CityLink Project. Enjoy the Internet Kissing Booth, ride through The Virtual Tunnel of Love, and check out some love food recipes. If the date doesn't work out, well, there are links to Web personals pages. "http://www.NeoSoft.com:80/citylink/cupid/default.html"

A TRIP TO THE GALLERY

Another alternative for an online Valentine's Day date is an online art exhibit called "THE ART OF LOVE: The Paintings & Writings of Melinda Camber Porter". The love poems, paintings, and film received rave reviews from the French embassy, so clearly there must be something to it. If the date appears to be going smoothly, you can always buy The Art of Love Gift Package (batteries not included). "http://adware.com/arts/blakegallery/welcome.html"

A FEW ONE-LINERS

It's inevitable. Sometime during the courting process you'll have to make conversation. It's a well known fact that wits tend to fail when confronted with hormonal surges, so do yourself a favor and study the list of clever lines at the Sexual Job Descriptions site. At least after you lie about your profession you'll be able to impress your date with such witticisms as "Hardware hackers do it with female banana plugs", "AI hackers do it depth first", or "Shakespearean scholars do it... or don't do it, that is the question...", plus a few hundred more. "gopher://venus.ubishops.ca/00/humour/old/sex/job_description.txt"

THE CATCH


The Trophy, Stuffed and Mounted

ALT.SEX FAQ

It's a classic. Don't enter a bedroom without it. Maintained by alt.sex god Elf Sternberg. 'Nuff said. While in the neighborhood check out the Canonical Hanky Code before you find trouble for wiping your right cheek with a dark red rag. "http://www.halcyon.com/alt.sex/asfaq_header.html" "http://www.halcyon.com/elf/hankies.html"

PURE OF HEART AND MIND

There was a time when purity of heart and mind was a vital prerequisite to the bliss of love. Some still hark back to those more innocent days. Others would much rather know that their beloved could share some tricks picked up in an underground sex circus. Whichever side of the fence you're on, the Net can provide you with the tools to check out your intended. Take these purity tests together or separately, and find out who has more explaining to do. "http://www.circus.com/~omni/purity.html" "http://phenom.physics.wisc.edu/~fosdal/Purity/"

YES, BUT HOW DO THE NEIGHBORS DO IT?

As long as we're testing, find out just how abnormal you are by comparing yourself with the results of a recent survey of Sex in America. This page brings you relevant excerpts, with answers which may or may not confirm your fear that other people are getting it more than you are. Other real gems include a quiz entitled "Drive your woman wild in bed...Studly or Dudly?", the indispensable "101 Places for a Quickie", and "50 Fabulous Ways to Drive Her Wild". "http://www.timeinc.com/twep/Features/Sex/Sex.html"

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

Before you jump in with both glands, it's probably a good idea to take a moment, sit down with your partner, and carefully review the Safe Sex page link by link. While in an educational mood slip on over to the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Gopher for some lessons about potential little hitchhikers on the highway of love. And don't forget to study the arcane secrets of the Sympto-Thermal Method, the Sponge, and the IUD on the Contraception page. Got it? OK, go for it. Safe Sex Page: "http://www.cmpharm.ucsf.edu/~troyer/safesex.html" STDs: "gopher://gopher.uiuc.edu:70/00/UI/CSF/health/heainfo/sex/std/std" Contraception: "http://www.cmpharm.ucsf.edu/~troyer/safesex/contraception.html"

A SHEATH FOR THE SWORD

Even the mightiest weapons need protection, and the Net provides plenty of choices. Try the Mile High Condoms page ("We rise above the rest") for a floral bouquet of a dozen condom roses. A picture is included. The famous Condom Country site lets you ride the range with a cowboy flavor. And no stinky boys are allowed to read the highly secret and highly hilarious Girl's Guide to Condoms. Mile High Condoms: "http://cybermart.com/milehigh/milehigh.html" Condom Country: "http://www.ag.com/condom/country.html" Girl's Guide: %3A1950%3AGirl%27s%20Guide%20to%20Condo ms"

LEATHER AND LACE

Nothing says come hither like a properly disheveled piece of lingerie. The two Cynthias who run Romance Elegant Lingerie and Keepsake Gifts supply the lingerie, while you supply the dishevel. Lovely models display creations like Dancing in the Moonlight ("Elegant sophistication in this charmeuse and sequined lace") or Meet me for Dinner ("Scrumptious thong teddy of sequined lace, and lycra with ruffles"). On the other hand, nothing says get your butt over here NOW! like a leather corset, mask, and garter. You'll find them at Stage Clothes, USA, along with leather chokers, restraints, and whips. Romance: "http://sashimi.wwa.com/~notime/gands/romance/main.htm" Stage Clothes: "http://www.w2.com/stageclothes.html"

THE TOOLS FOR THE JOB

The proper equipment does make a difference. One does not climb Mt. Everest with only a walking stick and a bag of granola. If you plan on reaching any peaks with your partner, or even on a solo expedition, then you'll want to equip yourself at J.T. Toys. Their explorer collections (bondage kit, mistress kit, sensual explorer kit) offer pre-assembled kits of vital tools for the sexual journey of your choice. More basic tools like dildos, lubricants, and erotica are also available. If you need instruction before starting your journey, try Bianca's Sex Toys page for some examples and real life experiences. J.T. Toys: "gopher://ftp.std.com/11/vendors/jttoys" Bianca's Sex Toys: "http://bianca.com/shack/goodvibe/toys/index.html"

HOW TO DO IT

Here is some practical, if acrobatic, advice from the Love Teachings of Kama Sutra. Yes, it's all the positions you've been meaning to try or didn't know about. By the time you're done you'll probably need the Chiropractic page to get yourself straightened out. And stop salivating, it's only the classic text descriptions, in a familiar digest style. Kama Sutra: "gopher://wiretap.spies.com/00/Library/Classic/kamasut.txt" Chiropractic: "http://www.mbnet.mb.ca/~jwiens/chiro.html"

A LITTLE GENDER BENDER

It's possible that by now you've discovered that your beloved has been playing with your mind. Since that probably beats playing with yourself, you may not mind so much. For some practical tips, head on over to the action-packed Gender and Sexuality page at the English Server. Here you will find documents on such tantalizing topics as Gender Slumming, Frat Boy Fetishism, Guerrilla Girls, Fantasies-of-Straight-Men, and Sisters of the Yam. "http://english-server.hss.cmu.edu/Gender.html"

THE BANQUET


The Taste of Success

LONG DISTANCE ROMANCE

It is said that the Net has made the world a smaller place. OK, so it's easy to hit on someone a continent away, but once you connect, what then? There is still that silly planetary mass between you and the person you want to cover in whipped cream. No doubt about it, long distance relationships are tough. Fortunately the Rainbow Connection Mailing List can be of help. It is devoted exclusively to the topic of Long Distance Relationships (LDRs). Check their home page for info, or subscribe by sending "subscribe rainbow" in the body (not the subject line) of an E-Mail message to "major@exxilon.xx.rmit.edu.au". "http://www.wam.umd.edu/~sek/rainbow.html"

THREE IS NOT ALWAYS A CROWD

Love does not always come in neat binary states. Some of us need more than one set of roaming hands to make us happy. The Triples mailing list is for people interested in extended, multi-adult, non-monogamous intimate relationships. This nicely organized page will allow you to subscribe, answer some FAQs, and let you browse some representative threads. "http://www.mit.edu:8001/people/ert/triples/home.html"

THE COMPOST HEAP OF LOVE

Ade Rixon has written extensively on a variety of odd topics, love being one of the odder ones. He has assembled a number of his writings on this Compost Heap page where you'll find cynically appropriate and wickedly barbed musings on places to meet people, student relationships, being single, and weddings. The rest of the page has other brilliant spewings on a variety of nonlinear subjects. "http://www.dcs.aber.ac.uk/~ajr/scribbles/#lurve"

THE AGONY OF THE ECSTASY

Love can be painful. No, not in the alt.sex.spanking sense, but in the mentally warping, emotionally wrenching, gut churning sense. Anyone who has experienced the pangs of love will probably feel right at home in alt.romance.unhappy. This is the place to discuss feelings of pain and suffering, unrequited longing, stupid mistakes, and general romantic angst. Try the "Re: Hard Results" thread for some scientific testing of male versus female libido and commiserate with the poor guys.

THE MORNING AFTER


Life Goes On

BLISS, OF THE MARITAL VARIETY

You've survived those dangerous early moments when love struck you like a brick gently wrapped around a soft, warm person. Little did you suspect that this was but a prelude to the further trials of religious and/or legal perpetual bliss. Yes, it's wedding time. No need to panic, however, because the soc.couples.wedding WWW page will clue you in to what's coming. Say the Apache Wedding Prayer; mail order your wedding invitations; get Miss Manners' Pamphlet, "Weddings for Beginners"; and assemble a Bride's Emergency Kit. There are even reviews of actual weddings. Confirmed bachelors should run screaming for the hills. "http://www.wam.umd.edu/~sek/wedding.html"

THE PATTER OF LITTLE TAX DEDUCTIONS

Love works in mysterious ways, leading us to do things we sometimes regret. Particularly when the labor pains reach their peak or when the cat is yet again about to be shaved "because it's hot outside, Mommy." But what would a Valentine's Day be without a nod to the love which gave us all our start. If you think romance was tough, wait until your kid hits puberty. You'll need all the help you can get, so read the FAQs below and prepare for the ride of your life. Misc.kids FAQ: "http://www.internet-is.com/misckids/" Parenting Books: "http://condor.bcm.tmc.edu/booksFAQ.html"

BREAKING UP, HIGH EXPLOSIVES, AND YOU

Not all romance ends in bliss. Here's a little advice on breaking up from Lis, secretary to the president of the Romantic Fire Association. The word "friend" is used quite often here; it may be the last thing on your mind as you shred your ex-beloved's undergarments, tax documents, and personality. If that's the case, then allow us to direct you to the High Energy Weapons Archive for some practical advice. Lis: "http://www.dina.kvl.dk/~fischer/alt.romance/breaking-up.html" Weapons: "http://www.ph.unimelb.edu.au/~gau/smurf.html"

THE VALENTINE THIEF

We end on a happy note by way of a Valentine comic strip. This illustrated children's cartoon by Steadman and Brubaker will touch your heart, clog your arteries, and complete your Valentine experience. We hope your Valentine was everything you wanted it to be. "http://www.winternet.com/~carl/valentine_thief/val_thief_1.html"

CONTACT INFORMATION


Netsurfer Digest Home Page: http://www.netsurf.com/nsd/index.html
Netsurfer Digest FTP Site: ftp://ftp.netsurf.com/pub/nsd/

Subscribe WWW form: http://www.netsurf.com/nsd/subscribe.html
Subscribe E-mail: nsdigest-request@netsurf.com
Include one of the following commands in the BODY of the message:
HTML Format version: subscribe nsdigest-html
Plain ASCII version: subscribe nsdigest-text

Submission of Newsworthy Items: pressrm@netsurf.com
Letters to the Editor: editor@netsurf.com
Advertiser and Sponsor inquiries to Arthur Bebak: ad@netsurf.com

Netsurfer Communications: http://www.netsurf.com/
General Information: info-request@netsurf.com

CREDITS


Publisher

Production Manager

Copy Editor

Writers and Netsurfers


NETSURFER DIGEST (c) Netsurfer Communications, Inc. All rights reserved.
NETSURFER DIGEST is a trademark of Netsurfer Communications, Inc.