The year is 2001 A.D (after Devbox) and with the Amiga
being given a new lease of life with our part-saviours in the
shape of Fleecy Moss & Bill McEwan and with such wondrous new
devices as the Mediator and Predator PCI boards and a promise
of a "New-look" Amiga in the shape of the AmigaOne 2001 and
onward is at this moment in time looking good for the miggy
scene.
So it came to pass that in the year 2001 of our Amiga new
and wondrous devices came from the heavens (naa, not really,
Eyetech and of course Power Computing in fact), and it was
stated that in the new book of Amiga's called Amiga Active that
such saviours as above would be heralding our computers, neh,
our very homes, and so it came to pass that in the Town of
Rugby there lived a man called Steven, he was a Painter (I
should have been a Carpenter, but there was only two of them,
Karen and Richard), anyway, on the 29th December in the year
2001 of our Amiga Steven decided that there had to be rules
made for the Amiga so as to lay a firm footing of how this
wondrous machine should be used in future generations (well, in
2-3 years maybe).
And Steven called the rules the 10 DOS commandments, now,
being a god in his how mind did he, like the true god burn
these commandments into 10 tablets of stone which was taken
from the face of a mountain, huh, no, that was to easy.
Or did he call for gods help to etch these rules into the
very earth that we all stand on, huh, some chance of that.
Maybe he summoned King Neptune from the sea to engrave
these rules on the sea-bed, so although they would be still
written, they would be safe from mans destructive nature, oh
sure Benny.
Or did Steven ask Zeus to burn these rules on the sky
itself so they were there day and night so as to make us never
forget them, OK, keep guessing mortals, I'll tell you what
Steven did shall I....
After the sun had rose in the sky to it's highest point
then one hour later (yes, about 1.00 pm) on the 4th day of
Odin's youngest child's day of birth (Thursday) in the month of
the harvest of chicken and turkey (December) in he fetched a
parchment of the finest quality and using the only tools he
knew how to use (was it the brand new set of wax crayons that
he'd just had for Christmas....No...it was) his trusty Epson
Stylus 760 inkjet printer.
And with such a wondrous tool he created these 10 DOS
commandments, and totally without the need of a washing-up
bottle and a sheet of sticky-backed plastic and string, and it
came to pass that the 10 commandments were etched via
Plus-Jet inkjet paper and Epson compatible printer inks, and
they were honed as thus....
[1]...Thou shalt not buy or use pirated software....
[2]...Thou shalt not re-boot your machine whilst it is
already in mid-bootup, or a crash might seem like the devils
work.
[3]...Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife (especially
while playing a game of Deluxe Galaga or Megaball 4.
[4]...Thou shalt read all the scriptures of The Crypt
diskmag and hence save the scriptures before re-using the
tablets they were written on.
[5]...Thou shalt use a fairly modern text package like
Wordworth, Protext or the like when creating your own
scriptures (it really pisses me off having to arse around with
packages like Pen Pal and the like).
[6]...Thou shalt send pictures or text into THE CRYPT in
their respective formats
[7]...Thou shalt not browse PC mags in shops while delving
through the others looking for Amiga Active (in my local W.H.
Smith they used to bloody hide Amiga Active amongst loads of
other mags, why, were they that scared of AA being so good?.
[8]...Thou shalt send each member of THE CRYPT team £20
just for part of THE CRYPT ..(sorry, that was my own 8a
commandment).
[9]...Thou shalt not strike out in anger at anytime to
another computer user (well a PC user maybe, those don't really
count).
[10]..Thou shalt send floppy disk's, stamps and a new jiffy
bag when asking for issue's of THE CRYPT by post, well, none-
CRYPT users will anyway please.
So, OK, you most probably think to yourself after reading
this article What a load of ball-hooks or maybe what a load of
fue-king crap, fair enough, let's see you do better matey, if
you can do better, then great, that's what we want "MORE
INPUT"